I met someone on Reddit and we got really close over time. We used to talk for hours about literally everything. It felt like we had a genuine connection, and I got attached to him without really realising how much.

During this time, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I tried to be there for him as much as I could. I listened to him, supported him, worried about his health and genuinely wanted him to be okay. Obviously, I could only do so much from behind a screen, but I tried.

The thing is, I never really understood what we were to each other. We only spoke on Telegram. He never gave me his number or added me on Instagram, so there was always this part of his life that I wasn't really a part of, despite how close our conversations felt.

At one point, he disappeared for a few months. I have severe anxiety, and I kept wondering if he just didn't want to talk to me anymore. I continued messaging him occasionally because I was worried about him, but eventually, I started focusing on myself and trying to move on. I also wanted a real relationship, and I knew I couldn't keep holding on to something that had no clear direction.

He eventually messaged me again in August. We spoke, and I told him I had been going on dates because I wanted to find a relationship. He said we could talk and figure things out. But after thinking about it, I told him that since we didn't seem to see a future together, maybe we should let each other go and focus on our own lives.

We had a really amicable goodbye. There was no fight or bitterness. We wished each other well, and there was a lot of affection in that conversation. I genuinely thought we had ended things on good terms.

A few weeks later, I found out he had blocked me on Telegram and changed his username.

I honestly don't know what to make of it.

I understand that he doesn't owe me anything, and maybe he had his own reasons for doing this. Given his illness, I don't want to make assumptions about what he might be going through. But I can't help feeling confused about how we went from having such a loving goodbye to this.

I think the hardest part is that I still care about him. For so long, I was worried about his health, and I think I started associating him with that feeling of wanting to take care of someone. Even when I accepted that we probably weren't going to have a future together, I couldn't just switch off that concern.

And now I don't even know how to process it. I keep wondering whether I misunderstood our connection, whether I got attached to the idea of him, or whether two people can genuinely care about each other and still end up as complete strangers.

Part of me feels silly for being this affected by someone I never even met. Another part of me knows that the conversations were real, the feelings were real, and I genuinely cared about what happened to him.

I'm not looking for a reason to hate him or blame him. I just want to stop thinking about it so much and make peace with the fact that I might never know what happened or what I meant to him.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you move on? How do you stop questioning the entire connection just because of how it ended? And how do you let go of someone you still care about when you don't really have a proper ending to hold on to?

Used AI to refine sentences

Okay so I blocked an ex for them to chase me or realise I was leaving or to make them stay (if it makes sense). But he never contacted me and moved on with his life. I wanted to step back to see if he would ever initiate or repair the relationship and he never did. It was a long term relationship ( a messy one) but i thought he was committed to me , now in hindsight I realise I was the one carrying the relationship and he was just there for comfort or convience, but he was the one who claimed to want something serious and did a lot of future faking. I never discussed about marriage because i believed in not jinxing things, but i believed his words. I try not to think about why he didn't commit to me or was present to me because he had reasons to , I was exactly his type of a girl and he used to say he got really lucky I ever gave him a chance.

Coming to present day , it's been more than a year of no contact and i don't even want him back but i realise how badly i was discarded, or the lack of urgency and closure from him, so knowing this how do I move on? I am okay on most days but my hormonal cycle ( PMS) and retrogrades especially put in a frenzy again. So for any females reading this if you are going through something similar or grieving over someone, how to actually stop this and focus on moving on ?

unblocked on instagram 3 months no contact

My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. I initiated the breakup and no contact because he wasn’t treating me well while he claimed in the same breath that I was the love of his life. It was an emotional breakup, we both cried.

A few days ago, I finally gained the courage to send him a follow request on Instagram. I couldn’t break no contact for years because I was so hurt by his actions and I needed space. He begged me to be friends at the time but I just couldn’t do that until now.

He accepted my follow request/followed me back within hours of me sending him one and he reached out to me. We had a nice chat catching up that ended in a natural lull. I was buzzing with excitement, I was so happy to be talking to him again. Then at midnight that night, he set our Instagram chat to disappearing mode (it’s still on to this day) I was really confused by this and tbh I still am. I also took a screenshot of our conversation (not out of malicious intentions, just an accident), but it notified him due to our chat being on that mode and he saw it. I was mortified but I left him alone. I haven’t reached out since and neither has he.

Tbh my mental health these past few days has been awful. I have been having meltdowns and I feel like everyone hates me, when in reality no one does. My brain is not being nice to me rn due to this (I feel like he hates my guts and it is wrecking me more than I anticipated) and I regret sending him that follow request in the first place.

Some support and kindness rn would be nice, I just wanted to vent.

I called it NC I’ve never gone thru with it it’s been 1 day and I’ve cried myself to sleep for over 3 years idk if I can do this or how to fix it q

My ex of 4.5 -5 years, which we been broken up for a couple of years, he is in another relationship of course, we both moved on. Today I was at work, minding my business when his mom calls me and starts telling me all that happened (his mom and I were always close, she was there for me when I had no family) I felt like my heart sank to my feet. She first texted “he got into a bike accident, and they took him unconscious to the hospital” but apparently this happened Friday, which is so weird because I was feeling on edge that Friday being so stressed, anxious, with a horrible headache (idk what I m even saying, I just think is a coincidence maybe) but anyways, he is okay and alive took her 10 min to tell me I call her as soon as I got off of work, I almost fainted at work. We ended (him and I ) now in good terms but idk guys, she keeps saying he wants another bike and I think he will die if he does, I m just worried and hoping someone changes his mind, am I stupid for worrying or crazy? Haha help.

So here it goes...

So there was this girl i really really loved, like with my entire soul and always thought that If it'll be anyone, it would be her and only her, So in 10th, I confessed my feelings to her and she just said, "Let me clear NEET First, Then ill think about us", and tbh she was always upfront about her future and i respected that, but coming back to the story, i said "Ok, III wait for you", Then at the end of 10th, we both scored good, 82.4(me) and 94.4(her), we both celebrated....But amongst that celebration, there was one sad reality, She told me that she was changing schools after 10th...I was really so sad because... We have been together as friends for more than 4 years and seeing her go wasn't what i ready for, but well, I got myself together and she left... It was so brutal for the first 3 months not seeing her face, her voice and what not... Well... After some time, Another Disaster, She told me that she was deactivating Insta and everything to focus on her studies more, nd then i was really shattered from the inside, but then i thought ki, "Yaar, We both will succeed Together" nd well, Total Disconnection from her...She did came on any family occasions and festivals but that too...Well, on the last day of her being active of Insta and everywhere, we chatted one last time and well, In the end of our chat she wrote me a paragraph in which in the end it said "Study well all these years and...521", I asked her what 521 meant and she just told me she'll tell me after she clears NEET... Well, After all this of being sad, My real mistake comes... There was this one girl in my class, that really loved talking to me and spending time with me, and well...She made me laugh, we shared our problems and got close in a really short amount of time... And well...She caught feelings for me and well... After not being to communicate with her for so so long, the same feeling changed in me...Little did i knew it w trap...But well, She confessed first and idk why...I accepted...and well, after some time she really did find out because of her accounts and through her friends still in the school... Then when she confronted to me about it, i was so so scared and like got to my senses and really tried fixing everything and saving everything but it was really too late...She was so furious and cursed me so so much and i felt so shit at myself of what and why did i do this, Well, She did block me everywhere and... That Night only...One message popped up and it was her...She told me that i shouldn't have done this, These were her exact words, "I hope you don't see this message but if you do, You shouldn't have done this, I swear, 521 really meant I love you, Goodbye"

I swear my whole world just became so dark, I really tried everything again...but well, that was the end... I'm still am angry at myself...I really want to fix my mistake, I know what i did was so so so bad, it cant be forgiven but i really want to change, I really wanna fix everything, I still love her guys, She's still in my head, she comes in my dreams, randomly appears in my mind, her laugh, her smile, her eyes and what not, She was my everything and i still want her only to be my everything, Even my mom loved her and still does but my one stupid mistake, I really got distracted so easily and I know I cant be trusted again, But I really want just one last chance to fix everything guys... Everything that she loved or didnt love always appear in my mind if I hear or see something about it...I want to fix everything guys... Please Help Me, what should I do... I know I deserve the hate, but I really want to become who I really was before...

Basically I've wanted to text my ex we broke up before i did my exchange year and spoke throughout summer then i left obviously. I dont think they're any hard feelings or anything but I really want to message him to see how hes doing and stuff also because hes not very social and online so I definitely cant stalk. Also idk if its best to just leave him alone lol. HELP LOL

My girlfriend and I just broke up, in a snap. No fights. I don’t know how to process everything right now.
She ended things.

The thing is, this isn’t my first heartbreak. I’ve been through a long-term relationship before, and I know how painful it is to rebuild your life around yourself again. I know the stages, the loneliness, the overthinking, the urge to reach out, and the days when even the simplest things feel exhausting.
But knowing what heartbreak feels like doesn’t make going through it again any easier.
Part of me feels relieved because our relationship has been taking a toll on me. Another part of me is devastated because I still love her. It’s such a confusing feeling to grieve someone while also knowing that the relationship wasn’t making you happy anymore.
I’m trying to accept that she might never come back, never explain things, and never give me the closure I’m looking for.
**For those of you who have gone through a breakup while still being in love with the person, how did you actually get through it?**
How did you stop waiting for them to come back?
What did you do when you wanted to reach out?
How did you deal with the loneliness, especially at night?
How did you rebuild your life and find yourself again?
How did you stop replaying everything in your head and wondering what you could have done differently?
I don’t need to hear that there are plenty of fish in the sea or that I’ll find someone better. I know life goes on. I’m just trying to figure out how to get through the part where it hurts.
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through this, especially those who had to start over after already experiencing a major heartbreak before.

to keep this as short as possible, this is not something i would have ever expected from him, like at all. it was a very heartbreaking but mutual breakup, as there was a lot of things he wasn’t doing that i needed in terms of my boundaries and romantic gestures. but whenever we argued, he’d say that if we broke up he’d never be able to move on, i changed his life and i mean too much to him, yada yada. he’s been on dating apps before, but he always said how much he hated them, and he deleted them to be loyal for me the night we met (i didn’t find that out till later). fast forward to now, it’s been two weeks since we officially ended things and stopped talking. we had the notion that we would try again in a year and see if things could change and work. then one of my friends approached me on campus today and asked if i was single, because she had seen my ex on tinder a few days ago. I asked her his name and she knew it without me saying it, and when i showed her the picture of him she frowned and nodded. it just sucks because he really made me feel like he’d never do something like that to me, especially because he made such a big point that i should stay single for a while. it just shows how many double standards he has. i just feel like i don’t even know the man that i dated for almost two years. and we both even acknowledged that we still love each other, but it just wasn’t healthy. So was the love a lie too? i feel like i don’t deserve real love at this point, and i just don’t understand what it is that makes even good people walk all over me. i suppose my ask is why do guys do these things? is he really moving on already? did i mean that little to him? and like, how can i get over the idea that he moved on faster than me, when he always preached about how significant i was to him? i just don’t want to sit here and think about all the terrible things. thanks so much, anything is helpful :) this semester has already been so rough and i’m not equipped to get through this on my own, especially since my ex was also my very best friend.

Ya lo eliminé, eliminé su contacto y desgraciadamente me se su número de memoria, eliminé mis redes sociales, no tiene manera de comunicarse conmigo, está fuera de la ciudad y eso es bueno, al menos por el momento no va a buscarme, me duele la ruptura, ¿Cómo mantener mi mente ocupada?

Acabo de tener una recaída, no eh dejado de tener un nudo en la garganta, la piel se me eriza cada 6 minutos mientras los ojos se me llenan de lágrimas, es un reflejo de lo mucho que te ame, tanto que ya no tengo amor para mi, me siento triste, decepcionando, confundido, pero sobre todo feliz de que ya no estés conmigo, feliz porque se que estarás mucho mejor sin mi, te bloquee de todas las redes sociales y estoy luchando por ser fuerte y mantener el contacto cero durante el mayor tiempo posible.

1)Understand that No Contact is for yourself, not as a tool to get your ex back
No contact is for your own personal development. The problem with working on yourself to get your ex back is that it is mere surface-level work that crashes down the moment you start feeling your ex truly forgot about you and moved on. You will find yourself back in step 1 of the healing phase. Even if you did get your ex back, another breakup is inevitable with that mindset. A happy future, whether getting back together with your ex or a brand new chapter, can only happen when you use no contact as a transformative tool.

2)Understanding that No Contact success isn’t primarily measured by emotional relief
Emotional relief is not the primary indicator of no contact success. This is because the pain can numb overtime, but one can still be a slave to attachment. One of the main purposes of no contact is your emotional development. There are many indicators of emotional development, a primary one being a better relationship with your grief.

One can only heal from grief by healing and accepting and embracing change. A breakup is like a death. Your old self is dead. You’ll never heal by staying your original self because healing demands adherence to the unfamiliar. 

3)Reshape or rebrand your environment (internal and external)
Imo, the perfect no contact strategy demands a complete change to your environment. You should move to another country or city, start a different career, change your hobbies, and build a new social life. However, as we both know, this is not feasible for most people.

For starters, try changing your room. Throw away all belongings reminding you of your ex. Delete all messages. Sell any gifts your ex gave you. It'll be painful at first, but it will speed your healing in the long run. Put a pause on old hobbies and start new ones. They’ll likely remind you of your ex. Join a therapy support group and make friends going through a similar situation. 

CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PHONE. I cannot stress this enough. Technology is going to throw so many reminders of your ex at your face. Don’t just block your ex. Delete your social media. Have a friend set a lock on your phone to prevent you from using any kind of social media. Start associating your phone with a different purpose.Maybe change your phone to a gaming phone and start downloading a bunch of games on it. Give your phone a different purpose, preferably other than social media.

Finally, change your relationship with yourself. Practice self-care. Eat healthy. Go out to the gym. Learn that there's more to life than a relationship. Treat yourself like a drug addict undergoing rehab. A quitting drug addict experiences physical and mental symptoms like mood swings, constipation, headache, insomnia, etc.,

4)Build a relationship with your inner-critic
No contact is painful because your inner critic  is constantly telling you that your ex is your only source of safety. It's like a puppy tugging your pants, trying desperately to guide you to safety. Instead of pushing it away, validate your inner critic and tell them that it's okay. This new adventure is nothing different from a rollercoaster. The scariest part is usually the beginning(not always tho) and they are safe to ride on. By the end of the ride you'll feel rejuvenated more than ever. The new journey will also have tons of positive experiences. Personalize your inner critic. Give it a name. What clothes does it wear? How does it look like? Who does it remind you of? 

5)Embrace the unknown
Embracing the unknown means to stop fearing the future without your ex. One of the biggest reasons why no contact is so hard is because your ex was your “other half.” Now that they are gone, you are left with half of your identity gone. The only secure and healthy way to refill the void is by filling it yourself. Do some shadow work and learn more about the underlying mechanisms that propel your breakup pain. For most, breakup pain stems from an underlying issue that's been met with invalidation. Therefore, it's a good idea to get a therapist’s assistance.

So before I get into how we started talking again, I just wanna summarize our relationship, how it ended, and how I felt about the situation.

Okay, so I was with this guy for around 2 years, we got together my sophomore year and his junior year of Highschool. Near the end of my junior year, he cheated on me with a freshman and almost caught a case because of the alarming age difference. He confessed what had happened in a rather frivolous manner and decided to compare him cheating on me to a lesson in the bible. So naturally, I broke up with him the same day after a couple hours to think everything over.

Now I’m not gonna act like our relationship was completely flawless before the incident, I definitely had reasons to break up with him before what had happened, but I wasn’t brave enough to do so. He was very controlling over what I listened to, what media I consumed, my opinions on literally anything, and would also coerce me into engaging with him sexually despite repeatedly stating that I wasn’t interested in doing that.

While we got into many fights about the previously mentioned issues, the worst of the issues always came back to how often I’d engage with him intimately. Like I said before, I hated being intimate with him, it always made me feel uncomfortable and sick to my stomach when it was done with. And the week leading up to him cheating on me, I had been abstaining myself from doing anything I’d deem intimate, obviously excluding cuddling and kissing and stuff of that sort. He agreed that it was for the best of our relationship and that was that. He never expressed any feelings of disagreement leading up to what had happened, so I figured that there were no issues with our then current arrangement. Although I’d later find out that he had been keeping his true feelings about the arrangement from me.

Anyways, tracking everything back to present day, we’ve been broken up for about 2 years now, and we had met at an event for our old Highschool. We got some polite conversation in, there was no bad blood between us because our break up had been very clean despite the reason for the separation. There wasn’t any negative tension even though it felt awkward to talk with him after everything. He asked if I had found a boyfriend yet and I told him that I wasn’t “in the dating pool” and I had asked the same thing because the conversation seemed to flow in that direction. He told me that he wasn’t dating either and the conversation trailed off into a less relevant path, (what I’ve been up to and what he’s been up to.) Anyways, after random conversation here and there, the event ended and I left swiftly, I didn’t properly say goodbye or anything, just left to go home.

I didn’t think too much about our interaction until I received a text from him a couple days later asking if we could meet up to talk or get food. I had replied politely like anyone would, and said that I might be able to arrange that. He kept asking if we could meet up and once he offered to pay for a meal I eventually agreed to meet up, kinda shallow I’m not proud. Anyways, we meet up at some restaurant, not fancy but not fast food, and just talk. He tells me something important about his family that he wanted to tell me in person, I share my opinion on it, and then we start talking about our past relationship. I didn’t want to get into this territory considering how difficult the whole experience was for me, but the conversation flowed surprisingly well.

After the meal, we went to the store to burn some time and talk some more, and we got into some deeper topics. He told me more about how he felt the week leading up to him cheating on me, and I got a better perspective on what really happened. Back then he told me that he “blacked out” and then cheated, but he surprisingly confessed that it was premeditated which I had always suspected. We share our feelings on our past relationship, good and bad, and we are both feeling very relieved since there was a lot to air out. Anyways, I’m gonna bring up something that isn’t flattering at all, but after he cheated on me, his best friend was super sweet and caring, and I ended up temporarily crushing on him. Not my proudest moment at all, and I still feel guilty about it even though the relationship was over, but it was such a messy situation even before my ex found out. He finally brought it up, I told him my feelings on the whole situation. His bestfriend left out a lot of details about our peculiar dynamic that developed after I broke up with my ex, but I’ve got no hard feelings at all.

Anyways to just summarize how we got back into touch, we talked a lot about our relationship, got a lot of stuff off our chests, and have an entirely new level of clarity in our current situation, (I’m not gonna call it a relationship at all), than we ever had.

Now the reason I’m going to Reddit, he called me and wanted to talk about whatever we have going on right now, and where I see it going. I was very honest and straightforward, I told him that in the most flattering light, I see us being friends. And I could tell that this troubled him a bit, and he confessed that he was looking to get back with me, but was glad that I was blunt with where I see this reconnection going. Now he keeps going on about how God is working through our relationship and trying to do something with us, and that he feels no stress or pressure because he knows it’ll work out somehow. But I feel the complete opposite. I’m confused, I’m anxious, and I’m just plain pitiful.

I have no idea what to do, because while speaking with him does feel right in a certain way, it just feels so so wrong in other ways. And I’m not sure how to explain it. I would like to be friends with him again, but with how things ended between us, all of my friends and family absolutely despise him, while I’ve decided to forgive him because I wanted to heal. But now that he’s sort of back, it feels like I’m regressing, and that all of the work I put into moving on is for nothing. And the fact that I care more about how others think about me talking to my ex rather than how I feel about it is really disappointing. I hate the idea of people thinking that I’m taking him back, and I hate the idea that people may think I’m weak because I’m talking with him again. I just wish that their opinions of me didn’t matter so that I could make this decision without the weight of other’s perception. I’m not sure if I’m articulating this in the best way because I kinda came on here in a panic, but I just don’t know how to should deal with this.

Some bonus context: He got baptized and is claiming to be “born anew” and not the same person he was before, I attended this. His best friend that I had crushed on has allegedly been reporting my activity on my socials to my ex, he brought it up during our conversation at dinner. While I was crushing on the best friend, they were not talking simply because the friend claimed that he didn’t wanna associate with my ex after what happened, so in my delusion I guess I figured it meant he liked me? Idk I was dumb. Anyways I know for sure that he wants to get back with me and that I don’t wanna date anyone at all right now, much less an old flame.

Anyways thanks for reading, if you have any advice to give me that would be awesome sauce, even if it’s really minuscule. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY DUMB ISSUES🎉

My ex and I recently broke up, and he blocked me because his new girlfriend asked him to. For a long time, I was also blocked by her, so I ended up blocking both of them. However, my ex used to reach out to me from another fake account to check if I was okay—that was pretty weak, but that's a story for another day. Today, she unblocked me. I'm wondering why she decided to do that now. A few months ago, when I reacted to his post, she came and sent me a message calling me a bitch and telling me to stay away, among other things. So, why now? My ex told me that she’s been stalking both of our accounts and feels like she’s caught in the middle of us. Honestly, I haven't fully recovered mentally; I'm going through a tough time because of these two.

do you guys talk with your ex because both of you are wanting a retry or are you guys talking (again or not) because yall wanted to stay as friends. in my case he wants another try but i dont and i just want us to be friends. is it a bad thing? like am i keeping him there or something? i did tell him that im not looking for a relationship and that im focused on myself.

To the kind souls who take the time to read this and reply to this post, i dont know how to pay you back but trust me i appreciate the hell out of it. Had to break up with my girlfriend of 7 years, of which she may have actually been loyal to me for the past 4. Im 29m shes 25f. Had to leave her because she would just never come clean about the cheating she did in the past. BUT she did a complete 180 (I THINK) and was semi honest, loyal, paid for our living space and always cleaned and even did my laundry. She would fold my clothes for work. But it ate me from the inside whenever i was gone on trips as a pilot. But she would only trickle truth. Maybe it shouldnt have mattered by that point, shes a young and hot girl, but how could i marry a girl i couldnt completely trust. Anyways i packed all of my stuff and left her september 1st. By the 6th, she was on a boat with a fat old 40 year old getting plowed. A friend of her dads by the way haha. Disgusting. Anyways why does she still try to reach out at this point even after she admitted herself that its over and swears she regrets ever cheating or trickletruthing me? Yet ive always had to play detective and obtain information myself or distance myself from the relationship and she would only trickle truth me just enough to keep me from finally leaving her.

By the way, she still says to this day that “i know everything”. I believe shes still being deceptive. Been hearing that for years yet theres always something new coming out.

Since leaving her ive done nothing but level up. Big calorie deficit, ripping the gym daily, back into jiu jitsu, and got a new flying job that starts at $175k a year. I was going to help her out and put her on my health insurance for a year, but i didnt want to reopen any contact with her. I cant figure out her intentions and it pisses me off. Because of that ive been absolutely no contact. She makes phone numbers to text me and call me. I dont reply.

Its so weird that after everything hes done to me I hated him for a while and now I miss him again I want to reply to the messages he sent which I didn’t reply to, hes been all over my mind for the past week although If hed kiss my feet for me to be with him I would say no, any explanation for why this is happening to me?!!

This will be a bit long to give full context of our relationship and breakup, but I’d really appreciate some insight.

My ex and I were together for 3 years. We had a very deep and connecting relationship, I definitely felt like he was my person. We knew each other as kids and went to school together until 7th grade, and reconnected in 2023 as adults. He made comments all the time about how I was the best relationship he has ever had, I was his dream girl, exactly his type, not like other girls, etc. I truly felt that through most of our relationship.

Our relationship wasn’t perfect, however. Over time, I realized he was very insecure. He would ask me questions that most people wouldn’t want an answer to and I’m a very honest person. He wanted words of affirmation a lot. I would try my best to pick up the slack but of course real life happens and I don’t constantly think about how I can compliment him every day. I also have anxiety and can be a bit critical, nitpicky, and negative due to that.

He also has a now 6 year old, and I didn’t bond with him right away because it felt like he rushed me into that connection with him and overanalyzed my anxiety about him having a kid. I noticed behavioral issues and parenting issues and pointed them out and tried to help. He took a lot of what I had to say, whether about his kid or not, as an attack and became very defensive. This year though, I got very close with him and spent a lot of 1:1 time with him, which has made this breakup all the more difficult.

While I may have struggled with the above and words of affirmation, I showed my love through a lot of other ways. I remembered the small things, I tried to make his life easier by doing small tasks for him and buying groceries and making/buying dinner when I would come over, getting him and his son very special gifts for holidays, etc. I was also very affectionate.

A month before we were supposed to move in, he pointed out that I was being too anxious about the move in. I was anxious because I’m about to live full time with him and his kid and that’s a big change. However, I was doing everything I could to make the move in happen behind the scenes. I wasn’t hesitating. The straw that broke the camels back was one morning I was on the phone with him and made a comment about how I didn’t want him to shave his facial hair because I found him more attractive with it and he looked too young without it. He almost always had facial hair while we were together. He went off on me about how I make him feel unattractive and put a pause on the move in talk. A week later, he broke up with me. He said he’s tired of the cycle of asking me to make him feel wanted/attractive/appreciated and only doing so when things are dire, then the cycle repeats. He felt “emotionally exhausted” and “eroded” and said once his feelings are gone, they don’t come back.

Within a week, I find out he’s talking to his coworker. She had a boyfriend at the time too. His friends told me this isn’t unusual, as he cannot stay single once he’s out of a relationship. I eventually find out she’s 9-10 years younger than we are (we are 31, and she is 21-22).

We have been broken up for 4 months. Over time, I’ve slowly been removed off of all social media. For the first month or so, I did the usual begging and pleading and wanting him to give me a chance to make improvements. He was very hot and cold. I eventually stopped. Since then, he has been the one to reach out. The longest we have gone without talking is 2 weeks. At first, I was holding out hope that this meant he would eventually want to reconcile, but as time has gone on, I’ve started losing hope. He would casually check in, tell me something that happened at work, flirt, tell me he was thinking of me, and we have been intimate at times as well. He claims he doesn’t have those romantic feelings for me, it’s more nostalgic and comfortable. When he’s come over, sometimes we have just cuddled and kissed and it feels exactly like how we were when we were together. It hasn’t always led to sex.

He told me he remembered my Reddit account (where I posted about the breakup) so he saw me discussing my feelings about everything there and that’s how he found out I knew who this other girl was. I don’t understand why he’s checking if he’s truly moved on? I privated that account so now I’m posting here.

I found out last week that at some point he made things official with this girl. I don’t ask questions because the details would upset me. I do know she looks nothing like me. He still claims I am “10000% his type” and he’s still drawn to me despite being with her. However, he’s not seeming to want to reconcile. He said he’s never been in this situation before and it’s very confusing for him why he keeps wanting to reach out to me even though he is with someone else. Last time I talked to him, I told him he really needs to think about all of this and what it means, that was 5 days ago. When I asked him before what he thinks it means about his current situation, he said he avoids it because he feels like a terrible person. So maybe some avoidant tendencies?

I don’t know what to do. I obviously want this (what I assume to be a rebound) to fail, but they’ve been talking for 4 months and at some point have made things official). I think what we had was very special, but if he thought so, he wouldn’t have dumped me to look for better. I was there for him when he had hardly any income, a not so great car, and was struggling with a rambunctious toddler. Now that he has taken some of my parenting advice, has a better job, more money, and a new car, this other girl gets the best parts of him and doesn’t have to choose to stay through the hard parts like I did. I truly did love him.

Questions: Is it too late to try and enforce no contact if I do want him to regret his decision? I feel like he hasn’t even had the chance to truly miss me yet because like I said, we have only gone 2 weeks without talking. However, we at most only talk like 1-2 times a week and it’s usually when he is at work or between work. Why does he keep reaching out if he has another person? I’d like to think his burnout and resentment buried his true feelings for me by the time things ended, but maybe that’s wishful thinking.
Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? I’ve had a really hard time ignoring him because I do still love and care about him even though his decisions lately have been reckless and not typical for him. I’ll take any opinions on this whole mess too.

so the actual relationship lasted 6 months, the following year and a half i spent trying to break up with him but it felt more like negotiating terms. i loved him so it was difficult but the more it went on, i fell out of love and saw many things i couldnt live with. he was a great and affectionate boyfriend but his actions showed he only cared about how he felt with me and didn’t care about how i felt. Did not respect my boundaries and made my “No“ feel worthless, as though i had to say it more firmly. often guilt tripped me too. Im too nice i know. anyway i broke up w him (again) 5month ago and left for vacation, i told him i wanted no contact. every few weeks he broke it. i would leave him on delivered for weeks and then firmly say I wanna continue no contact. i came back and he begged me to meet up to just get some things off his chest. he basically complained about things he wasnt happy with during the relationship. I only met with him to have a civil conversation and be awkward if we ever bump into each other. Then he asked to meet again “for fun” i said no, he kept insisting, i never answered. Now a month later he texts me and calls me. i dont answer but he keeps calling. i asked why he was calling and he kept insisting to meet and says that hes struggling with something and wants to talk.

should i block him…

Hello! We broke up 3 years ago and I want to apologize again. Im kinda schizo not gonna lie, but there have been a lot of weird activities on my phone. Do you think thats a good idea with the letter?

I really hoped when we reconnected we would be in the position to pursue something deep again.

But after he reached out, he sounded distant, cold, nervous and just so uninterested for weeks before I got a direct answer from him. I made my intention clear that i wanted to be with him again, and after a one hour call yesterday he managed to arrive at "i'm not looking for a relationship in general" and he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore but he "cares" for me, he just wanted to check in on me if I was doing better.

I have friends who do that for me, I don't need him to randomly pop in and out and then have no intention of even meeting up for a catch up in person. Needless ot say, I was angry, upset, confused, and just outright horrible as now we will both have to re-process this again, and for me it felt like a second breakup. We were together for 5 years, broke up last year. it's been a tough ride for both of us, and we both had a hard time afterwards, but this was so unnecessary and painful to experience

Day 1 of no contact again.

I 22(M) and my ex 23(F) broke up around a year ago we’d known each other since she was in 8th and I was in 7th but didn’t start dating until my JR and her SR yr.

I’m not one to usually go spouting about this type of stuff or ask for help but I’m still stuck on her. Just the way she laughed, talked, her mannerisms, even just her hair style and how she looked in dresses. It’s like I can’t move on from her ever. I’ve been on dates with other girls and it’s been fine talking and what not but I just can’t see myself developing feelings for them. I’ve tried just being specific and go with people who are similar to her which in my mind is wrong because it’s like I’m looking for her in them. I just don’t know where to go or if there’s any advice to move on?