My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. I initiated the breakup and no contact because he wasn’t treating me well while he claimed in the same breath that I was the love of his life. It was an emotional breakup, we both cried.

A few days ago, I finally gained the courage to send him a follow request on Instagram. I couldn’t break no contact for years because I was so hurt by his actions and I needed space. He begged me to be friends at the time but I just couldn’t do that until now.

He accepted my follow request/followed me back within hours of me sending him one and he reached out to me. We had a nice chat catching up that ended in a natural lull. I was buzzing with excitement, I was so happy to be talking to him again. Then at midnight that night, he set our Instagram chat to disappearing mode (it’s still on to this day) I was really confused by this and tbh I still am. I also took a screenshot of our conversation (not out of malicious intentions, just an accident), but it notified him due to our chat being on that mode and he saw it. I was mortified but I left him alone. I haven’t reached out since and neither has he.

Tbh my mental health these past few days has been awful. I have been having meltdowns and I feel like everyone hates me, when in reality no one does. My brain is not being nice to me rn due to this (I feel like he hates my guts and it is wrecking me more than I anticipated) and I regret sending him that follow request in the first place.

Some support and kindness rn would be nice, I just wanted to vent.

So before I get into how we started talking again, I just wanna summarize our relationship, how it ended, and how I felt about the situation.

Okay, so I was with this guy for around 2 years, we got together my sophomore year and his junior year of Highschool. Near the end of my junior year, he cheated on me with a freshman and almost caught a case because of the alarming age difference. He confessed what had happened in a rather frivolous manner and decided to compare him cheating on me to a lesson in the bible. So naturally, I broke up with him the same day after a couple hours to think everything over.

Now I’m not gonna act like our relationship was completely flawless before the incident, I definitely had reasons to break up with him before what had happened, but I wasn’t brave enough to do so. He was very controlling over what I listened to, what media I consumed, my opinions on literally anything, and would also coerce me into engaging with him sexually despite repeatedly stating that I wasn’t interested in doing that.

While we got into many fights about the previously mentioned issues, the worst of the issues always came back to how often I’d engage with him intimately. Like I said before, I hated being intimate with him, it always made me feel uncomfortable and sick to my stomach when it was done with. And the week leading up to him cheating on me, I had been abstaining myself from doing anything I’d deem intimate, obviously excluding cuddling and kissing and stuff of that sort. He agreed that it was for the best of our relationship and that was that. He never expressed any feelings of disagreement leading up to what had happened, so I figured that there were no issues with our then current arrangement. Although I’d later find out that he had been keeping his true feelings about the arrangement from me.

Anyways, tracking everything back to present day, we’ve been broken up for about 2 years now, and we had met at an event for our old Highschool. We got some polite conversation in, there was no bad blood between us because our break up had been very clean despite the reason for the separation. There wasn’t any negative tension even though it felt awkward to talk with him after everything. He asked if I had found a boyfriend yet and I told him that I wasn’t “in the dating pool” and I had asked the same thing because the conversation seemed to flow in that direction. He told me that he wasn’t dating either and the conversation trailed off into a less relevant path, (what I’ve been up to and what he’s been up to.) Anyways, after random conversation here and there, the event ended and I left swiftly, I didn’t properly say goodbye or anything, just left to go home.

I didn’t think too much about our interaction until I received a text from him a couple days later asking if we could meet up to talk or get food. I had replied politely like anyone would, and said that I might be able to arrange that. He kept asking if we could meet up and once he offered to pay for a meal I eventually agreed to meet up, kinda shallow I’m not proud. Anyways, we meet up at some restaurant, not fancy but not fast food, and just talk. He tells me something important about his family that he wanted to tell me in person, I share my opinion on it, and then we start talking about our past relationship. I didn’t want to get into this territory considering how difficult the whole experience was for me, but the conversation flowed surprisingly well.

After the meal, we went to the store to burn some time and talk some more, and we got into some deeper topics. He told me more about how he felt the week leading up to him cheating on me, and I got a better perspective on what really happened. Back then he told me that he “blacked out” and then cheated, but he surprisingly confessed that it was premeditated which I had always suspected. We share our feelings on our past relationship, good and bad, and we are both feeling very relieved since there was a lot to air out. Anyways, I’m gonna bring up something that isn’t flattering at all, but after he cheated on me, his best friend was super sweet and caring, and I ended up temporarily crushing on him. Not my proudest moment at all, and I still feel guilty about it even though the relationship was over, but it was such a messy situation even before my ex found out. He finally brought it up, I told him my feelings on the whole situation. His bestfriend left out a lot of details about our peculiar dynamic that developed after I broke up with my ex, but I’ve got no hard feelings at all.

Anyways to just summarize how we got back into touch, we talked a lot about our relationship, got a lot of stuff off our chests, and have an entirely new level of clarity in our current situation, (I’m not gonna call it a relationship at all), than we ever had.

Now the reason I’m going to Reddit, he called me and wanted to talk about whatever we have going on right now, and where I see it going. I was very honest and straightforward, I told him that in the most flattering light, I see us being friends. And I could tell that this troubled him a bit, and he confessed that he was looking to get back with me, but was glad that I was blunt with where I see this reconnection going. Now he keeps going on about how God is working through our relationship and trying to do something with us, and that he feels no stress or pressure because he knows it’ll work out somehow. But I feel the complete opposite. I’m confused, I’m anxious, and I’m just plain pitiful.

I have no idea what to do, because while speaking with him does feel right in a certain way, it just feels so so wrong in other ways. And I’m not sure how to explain it. I would like to be friends with him again, but with how things ended between us, all of my friends and family absolutely despise him, while I’ve decided to forgive him because I wanted to heal. But now that he’s sort of back, it feels like I’m regressing, and that all of the work I put into moving on is for nothing. And the fact that I care more about how others think about me talking to my ex rather than how I feel about it is really disappointing. I hate the idea of people thinking that I’m taking him back, and I hate the idea that people may think I’m weak because I’m talking with him again. I just wish that their opinions of me didn’t matter so that I could make this decision without the weight of other’s perception. I’m not sure if I’m articulating this in the best way because I kinda came on here in a panic, but I just don’t know how to should deal with this.

Some bonus context: He got baptized and is claiming to be “born anew” and not the same person he was before, I attended this. His best friend that I had crushed on has allegedly been reporting my activity on my socials to my ex, he brought it up during our conversation at dinner. While I was crushing on the best friend, they were not talking simply because the friend claimed that he didn’t wanna associate with my ex after what happened, so in my delusion I guess I figured it meant he liked me? Idk I was dumb. Anyways I know for sure that he wants to get back with me and that I don’t wanna date anyone at all right now, much less an old flame.

Anyways thanks for reading, if you have any advice to give me that would be awesome sauce, even if it’s really minuscule. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY DUMB ISSUES🎉

My ex of 4.5 -5 years, which we been broken up for a couple of years, he is in another relationship of course, we both moved on. Today I was at work, minding my business when his mom calls me and starts telling me all that happened (his mom and I were always close, she was there for me when I had no family) I felt like my heart sank to my feet. She first texted “he got into a bike accident, and they took him unconscious to the hospital” but apparently this happened Friday, which is so weird because I was feeling on edge that Friday being so stressed, anxious, with a horrible headache (idk what I m even saying, I just think is a coincidence maybe) but anyways, he is okay and alive took her 10 min to tell me I call her as soon as I got off of work, I almost fainted at work. We ended (him and I ) now in good terms but idk guys, she keeps saying he wants another bike and I think he will die if he does, I m just worried and hoping someone changes his mind, am I stupid for worrying or crazy? Haha help.

My ex and I recently broke up, and he blocked me because his new girlfriend asked him to. For a long time, I was also blocked by her, so I ended up blocking both of them. However, my ex used to reach out to me from another fake account to check if I was okay—that was pretty weak, but that's a story for another day. Today, she unblocked me. I'm wondering why she decided to do that now. A few months ago, when I reacted to his post, she came and sent me a message calling me a bitch and telling me to stay away, among other things. So, why now? My ex told me that she’s been stalking both of our accounts and feels like she’s caught in the middle of us. Honestly, I haven't fully recovered mentally; I'm going through a tough time because of these two.

do you guys talk with your ex because both of you are wanting a retry or are you guys talking (again or not) because yall wanted to stay as friends. in my case he wants another try but i dont and i just want us to be friends. is it a bad thing? like am i keeping him there or something? i did tell him that im not looking for a relationship and that im focused on myself.

To the kind souls who take the time to read this and reply to this post, i dont know how to pay you back but trust me i appreciate the hell out of it. Had to break up with my girlfriend of 7 years, of which she may have actually been loyal to me for the past 4. Im 29m shes 25f. Had to leave her because she would just never come clean about the cheating she did in the past. BUT she did a complete 180 (I THINK) and was semi honest, loyal, paid for our living space and always cleaned and even did my laundry. She would fold my clothes for work. But it ate me from the inside whenever i was gone on trips as a pilot. But she would only trickle truth. Maybe it shouldnt have mattered by that point, shes a young and hot girl, but how could i marry a girl i couldnt completely trust. Anyways i packed all of my stuff and left her september 1st. By the 6th, she was on a boat with a fat old 40 year old getting plowed. A friend of her dads by the way haha. Disgusting. Anyways why does she still try to reach out at this point even after she admitted herself that its over and swears she regrets ever cheating or trickletruthing me? Yet ive always had to play detective and obtain information myself or distance myself from the relationship and she would only trickle truth me just enough to keep me from finally leaving her.

By the way, she still says to this day that “i know everything”. I believe shes still being deceptive. Been hearing that for years yet theres always something new coming out.

Since leaving her ive done nothing but level up. Big calorie deficit, ripping the gym daily, back into jiu jitsu, and got a new flying job that starts at $175k a year. I was going to help her out and put her on my health insurance for a year, but i didnt want to reopen any contact with her. I cant figure out her intentions and it pisses me off. Because of that ive been absolutely no contact. She makes phone numbers to text me and call me. I dont reply.

Its so weird that after everything hes done to me I hated him for a while and now I miss him again I want to reply to the messages he sent which I didn’t reply to, hes been all over my mind for the past week although If hed kiss my feet for me to be with him I would say no, any explanation for why this is happening to me?!!

This will be a bit long to give full context of our relationship and breakup, but I’d really appreciate some insight.

My ex and I were together for 3 years. We had a very deep and connecting relationship, I definitely felt like he was my person. We knew each other as kids and went to school together until 7th grade, and reconnected in 2023 as adults. He made comments all the time about how I was the best relationship he has ever had, I was his dream girl, exactly his type, not like other girls, etc. I truly felt that through most of our relationship.

Our relationship wasn’t perfect, however. Over time, I realized he was very insecure. He would ask me questions that most people wouldn’t want an answer to and I’m a very honest person. He wanted words of affirmation a lot. I would try my best to pick up the slack but of course real life happens and I don’t constantly think about how I can compliment him every day. I also have anxiety and can be a bit critical, nitpicky, and negative due to that.

He also has a now 6 year old, and I didn’t bond with him right away because it felt like he rushed me into that connection with him and overanalyzed my anxiety about him having a kid. I noticed behavioral issues and parenting issues and pointed them out and tried to help. He took a lot of what I had to say, whether about his kid or not, as an attack and became very defensive. This year though, I got very close with him and spent a lot of 1:1 time with him, which has made this breakup all the more difficult.

While I may have struggled with the above and words of affirmation, I showed my love through a lot of other ways. I remembered the small things, I tried to make his life easier by doing small tasks for him and buying groceries and making/buying dinner when I would come over, getting him and his son very special gifts for holidays, etc. I was also very affectionate.

A month before we were supposed to move in, he pointed out that I was being too anxious about the move in. I was anxious because I’m about to live full time with him and his kid and that’s a big change. However, I was doing everything I could to make the move in happen behind the scenes. I wasn’t hesitating. The straw that broke the camels back was one morning I was on the phone with him and made a comment about how I didn’t want him to shave his facial hair because I found him more attractive with it and he looked too young without it. He almost always had facial hair while we were together. He went off on me about how I make him feel unattractive and put a pause on the move in talk. A week later, he broke up with me. He said he’s tired of the cycle of asking me to make him feel wanted/attractive/appreciated and only doing so when things are dire, then the cycle repeats. He felt “emotionally exhausted” and “eroded” and said once his feelings are gone, they don’t come back.

Within a week, I find out he’s talking to his coworker. She had a boyfriend at the time too. His friends told me this isn’t unusual, as he cannot stay single once he’s out of a relationship. I eventually find out she’s 9-10 years younger than we are (we are 31, and she is 21-22).

We have been broken up for 4 months. Over time, I’ve slowly been removed off of all social media. For the first month or so, I did the usual begging and pleading and wanting him to give me a chance to make improvements. He was very hot and cold. I eventually stopped. Since then, he has been the one to reach out. The longest we have gone without talking is 2 weeks. At first, I was holding out hope that this meant he would eventually want to reconcile, but as time has gone on, I’ve started losing hope. He would casually check in, tell me something that happened at work, flirt, tell me he was thinking of me, and we have been intimate at times as well. He claims he doesn’t have those romantic feelings for me, it’s more nostalgic and comfortable. When he’s come over, sometimes we have just cuddled and kissed and it feels exactly like how we were when we were together. It hasn’t always led to sex.

He told me he remembered my Reddit account (where I posted about the breakup) so he saw me discussing my feelings about everything there and that’s how he found out I knew who this other girl was. I don’t understand why he’s checking if he’s truly moved on? I privated that account so now I’m posting here.

I found out last week that at some point he made things official with this girl. I don’t ask questions because the details would upset me. I do know she looks nothing like me. He still claims I am “10000% his type” and he’s still drawn to me despite being with her. However, he’s not seeming to want to reconcile. He said he’s never been in this situation before and it’s very confusing for him why he keeps wanting to reach out to me even though he is with someone else. Last time I talked to him, I told him he really needs to think about all of this and what it means, that was 5 days ago. When I asked him before what he thinks it means about his current situation, he said he avoids it because he feels like a terrible person. So maybe some avoidant tendencies?

I don’t know what to do. I obviously want this (what I assume to be a rebound) to fail, but they’ve been talking for 4 months and at some point have made things official). I think what we had was very special, but if he thought so, he wouldn’t have dumped me to look for better. I was there for him when he had hardly any income, a not so great car, and was struggling with a rambunctious toddler. Now that he has taken some of my parenting advice, has a better job, more money, and a new car, this other girl gets the best parts of him and doesn’t have to choose to stay through the hard parts like I did. I truly did love him.

Questions: Is it too late to try and enforce no contact if I do want him to regret his decision? I feel like he hasn’t even had the chance to truly miss me yet because like I said, we have only gone 2 weeks without talking. However, we at most only talk like 1-2 times a week and it’s usually when he is at work or between work. Why does he keep reaching out if he has another person? I’d like to think his burnout and resentment buried his true feelings for me by the time things ended, but maybe that’s wishful thinking.
Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? I’ve had a really hard time ignoring him because I do still love and care about him even though his decisions lately have been reckless and not typical for him. I’ll take any opinions on this whole mess too.

1)Understand that No Contact is for yourself, not as a tool to get your ex back
No contact is for your own personal development. The problem with working on yourself to get your ex back is that it is mere surface-level work that crashes down the moment you start feeling your ex truly forgot about you and moved on. You will find yourself back in step 1 of the healing phase. Even if you did get your ex back, another breakup is inevitable with that mindset. A happy future, whether getting back together with your ex or a brand new chapter, can only happen when you use no contact as a transformative tool.

2)Understanding that No Contact success isn’t primarily measured by emotional relief
Emotional relief is not the primary indicator of no contact success. This is because the pain can numb overtime, but one can still be a slave to attachment. One of the main purposes of no contact is your emotional development. There are many indicators of emotional development, a primary one being a better relationship with your grief.

One can only heal from grief by healing and accepting and embracing change. A breakup is like a death. Your old self is dead. You’ll never heal by staying your original self because healing demands adherence to the unfamiliar. 

3)Reshape or rebrand your environment (internal and external)
Imo, the perfect no contact strategy demands a complete change to your environment. You should move to another country or city, start a different career, change your hobbies, and build a new social life. However, as we both know, this is not feasible for most people.

For starters, try changing your room. Throw away all belongings reminding you of your ex. Delete all messages. Sell any gifts your ex gave you. It'll be painful at first, but it will speed your healing in the long run. Put a pause on old hobbies and start new ones. They’ll likely remind you of your ex. Join a therapy support group and make friends going through a similar situation. 

CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PHONE. I cannot stress this enough. Technology is going to throw so many reminders of your ex at your face. Don’t just block your ex. Delete your social media. Have a friend set a lock on your phone to prevent you from using any kind of social media. Start associating your phone with a different purpose.Maybe change your phone to a gaming phone and start downloading a bunch of games on it. Give your phone a different purpose, preferably other than social media.

Finally, change your relationship with yourself. Practice self-care. Eat healthy. Go out to the gym. Learn that there's more to life than a relationship. Treat yourself like a drug addict undergoing rehab. A quitting drug addict experiences physical and mental symptoms like mood swings, constipation, headache, insomnia, etc.,

4)Build a relationship with your inner-critic
No contact is painful because your inner critic  is constantly telling you that your ex is your only source of safety. It's like a puppy tugging your pants, trying desperately to guide you to safety. Instead of pushing it away, validate your inner critic and tell them that it's okay. This new adventure is nothing different from a rollercoaster. The scariest part is usually the beginning(not always tho) and they are safe to ride on. By the end of the ride you'll feel rejuvenated more than ever. The new journey will also have tons of positive experiences. Personalize your inner critic. Give it a name. What clothes does it wear? How does it look like? Who does it remind you of? 

5)Embrace the unknown
Embracing the unknown means to stop fearing the future without your ex. One of the biggest reasons why no contact is so hard is because your ex was your “other half.” Now that they are gone, you are left with half of your identity gone. The only secure and healthy way to refill the void is by filling it yourself. Do some shadow work and learn more about the underlying mechanisms that propel your breakup pain. For most, breakup pain stems from an underlying issue that's been met with invalidation. Therefore, it's a good idea to get a therapist’s assistance.

so the actual relationship lasted 6 months, the following year and a half i spent trying to break up with him but it felt more like negotiating terms. i loved him so it was difficult but the more it went on, i fell out of love and saw many things i couldnt live with. he was a great and affectionate boyfriend but his actions showed he only cared about how he felt with me and didn’t care about how i felt. Did not respect my boundaries and made my “No“ feel worthless, as though i had to say it more firmly. often guilt tripped me too. Im too nice i know. anyway i broke up w him (again) 5month ago and left for vacation, i told him i wanted no contact. every few weeks he broke it. i would leave him on delivered for weeks and then firmly say I wanna continue no contact. i came back and he begged me to meet up to just get some things off his chest. he basically complained about things he wasnt happy with during the relationship. I only met with him to have a civil conversation and be awkward if we ever bump into each other. Then he asked to meet again “for fun” i said no, he kept insisting, i never answered. Now a month later he texts me and calls me. i dont answer but he keeps calling. i asked why he was calling and he kept insisting to meet and says that hes struggling with something and wants to talk.

should i block him…

I really hoped when we reconnected we would be in the position to pursue something deep again.

But after he reached out, he sounded distant, cold, nervous and just so uninterested for weeks before I got a direct answer from him. I made my intention clear that i wanted to be with him again, and after a one hour call yesterday he managed to arrive at "i'm not looking for a relationship in general" and he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore but he "cares" for me, he just wanted to check in on me if I was doing better.

I have friends who do that for me, I don't need him to randomly pop in and out and then have no intention of even meeting up for a catch up in person. Needless ot say, I was angry, upset, confused, and just outright horrible as now we will both have to re-process this again, and for me it felt like a second breakup. We were together for 5 years, broke up last year. it's been a tough ride for both of us, and we both had a hard time afterwards, but this was so unnecessary and painful to experience

Day 1 of no contact again.

I 22(M) and my ex 23(F) broke up around a year ago we’d known each other since she was in 8th and I was in 7th but didn’t start dating until my JR and her SR yr.

I’m not one to usually go spouting about this type of stuff or ask for help but I’m still stuck on her. Just the way she laughed, talked, her mannerisms, even just her hair style and how she looked in dresses. It’s like I can’t move on from her ever. I’ve been on dates with other girls and it’s been fine talking and what not but I just can’t see myself developing feelings for them. I’ve tried just being specific and go with people who are similar to her which in my mind is wrong because it’s like I’m looking for her in them. I just don’t know where to go or if there’s any advice to move on?

It’s been around 7 months since my relationship ended. There were a lot of emotional breakdowns on both sides. We were both deeply emotionally connected and driven by our feelings. After the breakup, she acted cold. It’s been 5 months since I last tried to reach out to her at that time she acted cold or didn’t reply. But she really loved me, gng. After all this time, do you think she misses me?

My ex partner who completely betrayed me and played the hell out of me and wasted my life (but I still care about him being alive), asked to see me and that he’s not doing well, so I say yes. But then he goes MIA. He has, for awhile, been trying to “win” me back for awhile, be emotional with me, and I guess lure me back. I have kept in contact a little, I have told him many times that I don’t want him anymore, im done, im tired, and have turned him down many times.
The next day he told me he hurt himself, he’s in the hospital and he’s not okay. He didn’t tell me anything else. That night he said he was discharged and would talk to me later. He didn’t answer or anything for 2 and a half days.
The next time he did say anything, he texted me saying “I’m tired of living”. I texted him asking, why are you saying that, are you okay, please don’t give up…. And then nothing else.
the next day still no response, and honestly I was really concerned and worried, I was afraid he was really going to do something, he already said he hurt himself. I was afraid of not doing anything and him doing something to himself. So I reached out to his sister, who I’m cool with. I told her the gist of everything, what he said and that I’m worried. I asked her not to tell him. She said ok and she’ll check on him. Later on he finally said he’s alive just recovering. I ask “are you okay?”. He said physically he broke a couple knuckles and his neck hurts but he should be fine, and nothing else. I asked what happened. No response. It has been 11 days now, it’s odd of him, despite everything.
My question is, was I wrong to go to his sister and tell her my concerns and what he said?
I’m afraid his sister mentioned I told her, and he’s pissed at me. I know I shouldn’t care because of what he did and what happened to us, but I’m worried about that

I ended it, he basically cried but we parted ways amicably.
We were only together for 4 months, never said I love you’s, he was still pretty guarded with me until we broke up, the tears surprised me.

He tried to be friendly with me in the beginning after the breakup; seemed happy whenever we ran into each other the first few times (mutual friends) but I could tell something was off, cause he would stare at me so much.

After he sent me a ‘can I have another kiss’ text. I turned him down kindly, and it’s been no contact. I’ve run into him once after and he didn’t even look my way.

We have each other on social media still, because we wanted to remain cordial with each other. I noticed he’s been posting angry music.
Music about going to the ‘dark side’ ‘losing humanity’ type songs.
The lyrics are alarming bc it’s like ‘I don’t care anymore’.

He’s had a rough life, so I am worried. I’m not trying to get him back, I care about him.
Should I reach out, or would that just do more damage?

Throwaway - cause I don't really have an account. Just needed to vent.

In 2013, I was doing my internship as part of my Bachelor's degree. I met A there, hit it off and started dating.

A was part of a friends group of 6. 3 men, 3 women. Let's call the men A, B and C and the ladies 1, 2 and 3.

B and 2 were a couple. So were C and 3.

1 had a boyfriend - let's call him D.

The 8 of us hung out a lot, went of quad dates and vacationed together. The OG six were very close - they'd been friends since their secondary school years.

A's family was nice to me, but sometimes I would hear comments about how the OG6 were so close they all thought A and 1 would eventually get together and the group would be 'complete'. Their friends would say the same. In fact, when A first introduced me to his friends the response would often be - oh, I thought you and 1 would eventually get together.

I chalked it to people just being used to see the 6 of them hanging out. Even I thought back then - oh yeah, wouldn't that be apt?

When I graduated and started a job, I was offered an opportunity to work at the company's branch in Japan since I speak the language (my mom is Japanese). I didn't take it at first. I liked my life in my birth country. My parents live there, my friends, and of course, A as well.

Then A broke up with me out of the blue, and 1 broke up with D. They had apparently gotten drunk at one of the OG6 meet-ups and felt like the universe had finally alligned for them.

So when asked again if I would like to transfer to Japan, I took it. Been living here since 2015.

The breakup sucked, but we were only dating for like a year, so I got over it pretty quickly once I moved and got busy with my new life.

I didn't keep in touch. I'm not on social media so I had no idea what was happening with them.

Just before covid, I ran into D during lunch. He was in Tokyo for work for a couple of weeks. It was nice to see him again. We met up a couple times during his stay there - just catching up and taking him around Tokyo. We kept in touch.

We discussed A and 1 one time during our first meeting over a quick lunch. And then never again. Why would we? This happened years ago.

He got transferred to Tokyo after covid, and we ended up dating. We got married early this month here in Japan, and went on our honeymoon.

When we got back we got absolutely bombarded with notifications from our friends from back home.

1 was ranting on social media about insensitive people and cheaters. Post after post (we got sent the screenshots). She claimed that she had always known that D and I had feelings for each other, that she had suspicions we were cheating behind her and A's backs, that it was so insensitive for us to blindside them with posts of us getting married when she and A are going through a very nasty divorce. She made it seem like we got married to spite her and A.

What?

D and I do not have social media. The pics from our wedding were posted by our family members.

We didn't even know they got married or were getting a divorce. We were just living our lives. It just feels very stupid. I feel like we just handed a bitter pill when we are just moving on as anyone would.

We are ignoring this, but can't help but feel a bit ranty and annoyed. You two got what you wanted back then, we moved on. And now you want to act like whatever decisions D and I do with our lives are to do with you? Ew. No.

Rant over. They can now go back to the dusty shelf of horrible people I never want to think about again.

Hello! We broke up 3 years ago and I want to apologize again. Im kinda schizo not gonna lie, but there have been a lot of weird activities on my phone. Do you think thats a good idea with the letter?

My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. We were serious, talked about marriage and kids, and I still love her.
In July, she kept saying she was done but secretly told my mom she wanted me to fight for us. We eventually spent 9 hours together talking about reconciliation. She cried and wanted me back, but I wasn’t sure at the time. We argued the next day and stayed broken up.
In August, she randomly reached out after I posted something emotional on Instagram, then later got upset and blocked me again.
Throughout our breakup, she’s been watching my Instagram Stories through two burner accounts. One even followed me, liked old posts and commented on my Reel.
Last week, she angrily messaged me about a Reel that reminded her of issues in our relationship. A few hours later, she called me.
This Monday, I reached out and told her I still loved her and wanted to marry her. She got upset and said, “What gives you the audacity to say that after almost 3 months of not speaking?”
She said it was too late, told me she had a boyfriend, and asked me not to contact her.
Here’s what confuses me. During our relationship, she was extremely firm about never entertaining or keeping tabs on exes while dating someone. Yet she’s continued watching my Stories through her burner accounts, even after our last conversation.
She’s also said she was completely done before, only to later admit she wanted reconciliation.
I’m respecting her request for no contact, but I’m struggling to make sense of everything.
Do you think she genuinely has a boyfriend, or could she still be hurt and emotionally attached? Am I just holding onto hope?
Would appreciate honest opinions, especially from women who’ve experienced something similar

Hace tres meses q termine con mi novio y aun no lo supero, pero el ya tiene novia y se ven muy felices, pero lo q pasa es q menos lo voy a poder superar porq está en el mismo curso que yo y como q me siento muy incómoda en el mismo lugar q el, y eh pensado en cambiarme de escuela pero no quiero dejar a mis amigas y es como q le daría el gusto a el y eso yo no quiero.

Algún consejo?

My ex cheated on me and we broke up almost two years ago. After we crossed paths this summer, I wrote her a message apologizing for my part in how it all ended. She replied kindly, said she holds no grudge, and later added that she'd get back to me about maybe having a conversation. I told her to just reach out whenever she feels like it, and she liked that message. Since then I haven't heard a single thing. She's in a happy relationship now and I know I have no claim on her time. Is it realistic to still expect a message, or is the silence my answer?

My ex and I were together for six years before he broke up with me, kicked me out, and said he wanted to date other people. I begged him to stay, but he still left. Later, he came back, gave me mixed signals, and we eventually got back together. It’s only been two weeks, and he’s already being inconsistent, barely communicating, and treating me badly again. Why come back just to treat me the same way? Do you think he genuinely wants me, or does he just not want to lose me?

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. He also dated another woman for about three months. He was her first boyfriend and took her virginity. He introduced her to his family and wanted to meet hers, but eventually broke up with her, saying she deserved better.
After the breakup, she blocked him, but he created a fake account to contact her, invited her to a family dinner, and asked her to be his girlfriend again. They tried again, but he became inconsistent, so she ended things. They later became friends with benefits.
this girl doesn’t seem to chase him. She appears happy living her life, didn’t wish him a happy birthday, and mostly posts about enjoying herself. He still follows her but doesn’t like her posts. I don’t know if they’re still in contact.

And they both follow each other . Will he try to go back to her . Is he waiting for her . Why does he still follow her

me and my now ex broke up in march of 2025. we met in october of 2024 at a mutual friends birthday party, started dating quickly after. we broke up for a multitude of reasons, mainly we went to college 2 hours away, and he either didn’t like me or was scared of how much he did idk, but he basically broke up w me because of that. later, in june of 2025, he texted me again, we met up, tried to make it work for about a week, and we ended again. there has not been a day i haven’t thought about him since october of 2024.

said friend is having her bday party again, and ive decided to go, mainly because i just want to see him. we only dated for less than 6 months and o still love him. not in a debilitating way, but in a passing thought way. i’ve been with multiple other people, even had a two and a half month long situationship, but still i thought of him everyday. i have done everything, he is blocked on social media and text, i haven’t seen him since summer 2025, and i have tried my best to get over him but i can’t. i don’t know what to do anymore, i miss him so much and i don’t know why. i don’t want to feel like this anymore please, help me.

it's been paining a lot , like why the hell I even trusted that ugly boy who don't have looks , smartness or anything I gave him direction and he gave me trauma . It's really difficult to move on , I jus left him unblocked whole night and expecting for a msg which didn't came yesterday also I did the same , is it so simple for a boy to chase a girl for 2 years and once they get u , they loose all their interest from you , you try to handle things for two years like kse bhi chal jaaye but at last samne se msg aata hai ki jus bcoz of ur cursing , abusing I don't wnna make things work out , am I mad or something that I'll abuse or curse him without any reason no vhaii u did the things which hurted me a lot , why don't u see that . So we had our final break up on 6th of October. Will he ever feel like how wrong he did to me ???? I never wanted to come in relationship and he forced me to come and then when I came in relationship he completely changed.😭😭