I love my kids more than anything, but if I could go back and choose again, I honestly don't think I'd have children. I feel horrible even typing that. I miss having a life that was mine. Being able to make plans, spend money on myself or just have a day where nobody needs anything from me. Last night I was scrolling through my phone after putting the kids to bed and saw an old friend posting pictures from a trip. I randomly started feeling bad. Not because I wanted to travel but because i realized I couldnt remember the last time I did something just because I wanted to. My kids are wonderful, and that's what makes this so much worse. They haven't done anything wrong. I still take care of them, tell them I love them, and try to be the best parent I can. But sometimes I look at my life and wonder who I would've been if I'd made a different choice. Nobody in my life knows I feel this way. I don't think I could ever tell them.

I had a childhood friend that i knew since I was 4, she passed away very suddenly at 15. I was hanging out at a restaurant right down the street from her house and I watched all the ambulances and fire trucks go to her neighborhood. I didn’t think anything of it then because her neighborhood has a lot of older folk that live there. I didn’t realize that it was her until a week later. This was a few years ago but you can’t just stop grieving. I’ve gotten really close with a few new friends but I’m so scared that one of them are just going to disappear again. My childhood friend had no signs of what she passed from. I tell my best friend every now and then that I’m terrified that she’ll disappear so suddenly and all she can do is reassure me that she won’t, but how can I know that for sure
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I just need to put my thoughts on paper

About 7 months ago a woman on my team (she's maybe 60, i'm 34) mentioned in the break room that nobody had done anything nice for her since her husband passed. She said it kind of jokingly but it stuck with me. The next morning I grabbed an extra latte from the place downstairs and left it on her desk before she got in. I just kept doing it, maybe twice a week, it's like $4 each time so not a big deal.

Problem is she's now fully convinced it's a man in the building who likes her and she's started dressing up and lingering by the elevators and tbh she seems happier than I've ever seen her. I dont know how to stop without crushing her and i cant exactly say "it was me, I just felt bad." So I keep buying coffee. Anyway.

Up until recently, my best friend and I genuinely believed that her boyfriend was so devoted to her that he would never cheat on her. Now I’m carrying the burden of knowing that he did cheat on her, and it was with me, the person she apparently trusts most in the world.
This happened during a weekend trip when we’d all been drinking way too much. At one point, he and I were left alone for a moment, and he started making comments about my body and how much weight I’ve lost. I didn’t think much of it because weight loss has been a common topic lately, and I didn’t interpret his comments as flirting.
He then told me that he likes talking to me and that he’d realized we really vibe with each other. I agreed, but I genuinely didn’t think anything of it because I’ve always viewed him as a friend and my best friend’s boyfriend.
After that, everything gets blurry. From what I remember, he came onto me and kissed me. I remember pushing him away, but I also remember kissing him back at some point. He guided my hand toward his lower area, seemingly wanting me to feel how physically aroused he was. I remember asking him, “What the fuck? Why is this happening? Where is this coming from?” He kept saying that he has eyes and can see how attractive I am.
Nothing went further than that, but here’s the part I’m struggling to admit: I think I liked it.
I’ve never looked at him as anything more than a friend before this. I’ve never had these kinds of feelings toward him, and now I feel weird about the entire situation. I don’t know whether I actually feel attracted to him or whether I’m just struggling to make sense of an unexpected, intense experience.
I’m also angry. I’m angry that he gets to go back to being her boyfriend while I’m left carrying the guilt of knowing what happened. He knew how much my friendship with her meant to me.
I know I participated in what happened at some point, and I’m struggling with that, too. I don’t want to pretend I had no part in it, but I also can’t stop thinking about how he initiated this and put me in a position that could destroy one of the most important friendships in my life.
My best friend doesn’t know. He and I have only had one conversation about it since, during which he told me he remembers everything.
I feel guilty, angry, confused, and honestly ashamed that part of me enjoyed it. I don’t know what to do with these feelings, and I don’t know what to do about the secret I’m now carrying.

I've been carrying the guilt of an action I made that ruined a community of friends. Back between 2008-2011 a group of filmmakers on YouTube had been getting together online and chatting. We even discussed flying and meeting up together to make a movie. In 2011 I organized an official group for us. In a few weeks I got depressed, created a fake account and attacked my channel mainly, and others, saying how terrible I was. They figured it out and I confessed. They kicked me out of the group and the group began to fight and fall apart. Even 15 years later the reorganized group has never been the same. Some walked away and never talked to us again. And it's all my fault. I ruined friendships, hobbies, hopes, dreams, and 15 years later I carry this burden, I still hate myself for my actions.

Since forever I have been put on a pedestal and given lots of responsibilities which is due to the fact I’m the eldest girl , “smart” , and I also thinks this intertwines with race too . I’m a black girl and I’m chubby so I never really had the space to be treated delicately and softly . I always have been perceived as mature for my age and an over achiever . And finally it’s catching up to me I don’t get validation from it anymore I feel the responsibilities building up and it doesn’t help I just started my first year of this college prep program and my parents are expecting to still be as resilient as I was in 8th grade… I feel bad because I know this isn’t normal I know most girls my age want to be older or be perceived as older. And now I feel stuck or stunted

It started off with ONE Traffic cone, it had the municipality name on it n was in the bushes and no one would notice. I planned it our like a heist, then on the day of i got my trash bag stuffed the cone inside and ran off like I robbed a bank. I think ive gone over my head now cuz i think I have over 20 or so cones and some construction equipment:

- 15 of those regular sized cones with municipal city names from around my area

- 4 of those realy tall construction cones

- 2 of those stick things usually found on the shoulder of the road 1 if them abt 2 feet the other is 4ft

- sidewalk closed sign, no turning sign, and a few no parking/stopping signs for the no turning sign I actually have the apparatus from the construction site it wouldn't come off when I tried stuffing it in the bag

- a handful of those flashing yellow lights usually bolted to the barrels

- today I stole a mini 10" traffic cone

I realize I shouldn't do this and im just wasting space but I cant help it I just love stealing construction equipment, it started off as just getting one for each municipality now i see one all alone in an easy to steal spot ill full on just take it right then and there or come back later people that ik just shake their head as to why n frankly idk why i just do it for the love of the game atp, I clearly dont need them, its just for whatever reason I find tge need to take them and yes i could buy them but its not the same as having one with the city name on it.

I’m 26, married, and live in Tennessee. When my husband got locked up last year I was already drowning. Rent was past due, the car was one payment from repossession, and I had two dogs that needed to eat. His grandmother lived alone about forty minutes away. She has early dementia and still thinks it’s 2018 most days.

I started going over there “to check on her.” At first it was just taking leftover food from her fridge. Then it was the spare cash she kept in a coffee can in the pantry. Then I found the envelope of emergency money she hid under the mattress a little over $1,800. I took all of it. I told myself I’d pay it back the second I got on my feet. I never did.

I used the money to catch up on the car, buy propane for the heater in the horse trailer I was living in, and keep the lights on at the gas station job long enough to not get fired. She never noticed. She still asks me if I’ve seen her “emergency envelope” and I just change the subject or pretend to help her look for it.

I know exactly what I did. I stole from a confused old woman who trusted me because I was family. There is no excuse that makes it okay. I still have the empty envelope folded up in my glove box. I look at it sometimes and feel sick.

I started doing it a few days ago. I was cleaning underneath my bed. I was trying to reach something at the end and I found myself in the middle of the space. It felt huge. It felt vast. It felt safe.

Got this bedframe a few months ago by mistake thinking I was going to use the space underneath as space for my stuff but didn't really end up putting a lot of boxes or bags. Didn't expect I would end up like this after all these years of trying to deal with my issues.

I feel like this is absurd but so far I feel at ease. Anybody else feel the same? Save me if not.

There's something I did senior year of high school that I still feel awful about.

My best friend and I had been planning to go to the same college since junior year. We talked about dorms, what we'd do on weekends, everything. She was basically the only person I knew who I was sure would still be in my life after graduation. The problem was that she got accepted before I did. When she told me, I acted happy, but I was honestly jealous. I kept imagining her making new friends and forgetting about me while I ended up somewhere completely different.

A couple weeks later, she asked if I'd heard back from the college yet. I hadn't. Instead of just admitting that, I told her I'd gotten accepted too. I thought I'd have time to figure out what to say later. I didn't. She turned down another school she'd been considering because she wanted us to go together. I remember her texting me that night saying she was so relieved we wouldn't have to start over alone. I just stared at the message and felt sick. Eventually, I told her the truth. I hadn't been accepted, and I hadn't even received a final decision when I lied. She was quiet for a long time and then asked me why I couldn't just have been honest with her. I didn't have a good answer. I was insecure and scared she'd move on without me, and I cared more about keeping her close than I did about what my lie might cost her.

We're still friends, but things haven't been quite the same. She got into another school later, thankfully, but she had to rush through the process and was really stressed about it.

It's been over a year, and I still think about that text where she said she was relieved we'd be together. She trusted me enough to make plans around something I completely made up.

I wish I'd just told her I was scared of losing her instead of giving her a reason to lose trust in me.

I 26M, recently graduate from my university in accounting are experiencing much more anxiety that I expected after getting my degree. I want to work in my respective field where I studied (accounting) but now there's no such place for a beginner like me, I want to study more? Maybe getting a masters or a specialization? I want to become a professional, but I don't know if, I'll ever be.

The anxiety comes and goes. Is not perpetual, but it's there. I study and read as much as I can, or a allow myself to...but sometimes is too much. I don't know. It's horrendous sometimes

When I was in high school, I had a very small circle of friends. Two of them (who I'll call Mike and Jimmy) I interacted with the most. We had a very crude and stereotypical humor for teenage boys who grew up in a bible belt suburbia and, even more stereotypically, we thought ourselves comedy geniuses. We never joked about anybody we knew though and we never joked about sexual assault of any kind.

When my little brother was born though that completely changed for some reason. The two of them began making jokes about raping him. Of course, this infuriated me and I would try to hurt them in response. But this never worked. They were bigger than me. They both played football and I was a skinny track kid. They would hit me all the time completely unprovoked and I couldn't really do anything about. The jokes persisted and I cannot explain how angry it made me. I am ashamed to admit this but I once made a crude remark about Jimmy's step sister involving sexual assault as a form of retaliation. I literally want to cry and throw up whenever I think about how did I that. How I sank down to their level. I've even met his stepsister. She goes to my college and she is one of the nicest people I've ever met and I let their depraved sense of humor corrupt me into talking about another human being like that.

Most of our hang outs were at Jimmy's house. We usually had sleepovers. I never left when they began making those jokes because I was afraid of losing them as friends and becoming even more lonely than I already was. Obviously, I should've just left and stopped talking to them altogether, but I didn't, and I hate myself for that.

The two of them could be a lot more aggressive when they were both around; when it was just us three. Jimmy was usually the one instigating the jokes about my brother, in fact, I don't think Mike would ever make those jokes without Jimmy being there to start it. Jimmy would say cruel stuff like that me all the time simply just because he could.

I understand that I wasn't the one making the jokes, but I still carry a lot of guilt for not doing more about it. I have failed my baby brother who does nothing but look up to and love me, and I allowed those two wastes of fucking space to talk about him like that. I hate myself for that. I hate them too (no shit) and I hate that they've never apologized for any of this. I don't know how I ever stayed friends them.

This all came back to me very recently and I just wanted to get it off my chest. I don't think I've ever told anyone. For some reason, I am afraid to tell anyone.

A couple of years ago, my brother had an accident. It wasn’t life-threatening, but it could have been fatal. When I told my friend about it, he said, ‘He deserved it. Why did he go to that place?

Since that day, she hasn’t been my bestie anymore. She’s just a regular friend now, and I’m thinking about ending the friendship for good, but I’m not sure

So, we have communal fridges in the break room, and for the most part, people don't touch anyone else's food. Now I love banana pudding and would on a weekly basis bring some in. Like sweet homemade really good banana pudding. And every so often someone would take it and leave me with a clean Tupperware dish.

So.... For 3 weeks straight, instead of banana pudding, id take whole jars of mayo and add stuff to it to make it seem like its really banana pudding.

One day, I noticed that someone got into and left a note on it. " point made ". Suffice to say they never touched my pudding again

For context, I am from a tropical country with a very hot and humid weather. I grew up hearing everyone saying how greatful they are for living in such an amazing weather, with the beach so close and no needing to tolerate any cold. Except for a few who said they love being where the A/C.

I always considered myself a person who preffered hot climate, but then I moved to a cold weather country. My first winter was hard, but, during the years I lived in the country, experiencing all four seasons, I realized my favorite season is Autumn and Spring which are relatevely cold seasons. And now, I am back to my country, and I cannot wait for being back in a colder weather.

The main reasons has to do with clothes, I prefer autumn style, wearing boots, I like the rain. I dislike showing too much skin, because I don't find it stylish for my own aesthetic, it's like I have to try really hard to put on a good outfit and make sure I don't suffer down the sun. But with cold, it becomes so easy, and you can be so stylish and look good very easily (only using winter coats made me look like a muffin, but, it's doable behind the coat to put on a good outfit).

My other main reason, is the fact that as an introvert, I have the perfect excuse for staying home. I can go out alone for a coffee and I don't feel that pressure of having to be with a friend group. And when summer comes I can actually enjoy the sun, because it hasn't been suffocating me all year long.

Thanks, anyone feels same? Different? Hate the cold, love the sun kinda situation? Or you also think like me? Anyone, would love to hear lol

Now im in a relationship with a girl and dont no what to or how to explain it might have to end the relationship

and ykw? i still kinda do.

​I need to get this off my chest because the guilt is starting to eat at me every time I see him in the office.

​Back in July, we had a major client demo scheduled for 9 AM. I came into the office early to double-check our shared folder and prepare the slide deck. While trying to organize the files, I accidentally moved the main presentation folder into a sub-archive and somehow renamed it. When 9 AM rolled around, the entire folder was missing from our team dashboard.

​My heart completely sank. Instead of admitting I panicked and messed up the directory, I stayed quiet while everyone searched for it. My coworker, Dave, had updated the files the evening before, so my manager immediately assumed Dave had accidentally deleted or overwritten the folder during his update.

​Dave spent twenty minutes sweating in front of the team trying to figure out what happened to his files. Eventually, I "found" the lost folder by searching the system trash and archive, acting like I had just saved the day by retrieving it right before the client joined.

​Everyone praised me for finding it, and my manager gave Dave a quiet reprimand about file management and backing up his work. Dave was super confused and apologized to everyone for the delay.

​It’s been three months now. Dave still double-checks every single upload with our manager to make sure he doesn't "mess up again," and I feel like an absolute coward. I can't confess now without looking like a terrible person, so I've just been buying his coffee every Friday to try and balance out my karma.

​

Currently I am in a stage of life where I would almost commit to pretty much any strange request to make money. I have recently learned that people sell videos of themselves having bowel movements and I feel guilt in saying I am very much considering doing it. I know everyone has a kink or a niche and I would never judge but has anyone ever done something like this? Is there a good payout from the requests? Is there a way that I can go about keeping myself anonymous? Should I feel oddly guilty ?

Has anyone else ever felt jealous of someone they genuinely love? How did you deal with it?

Hi! I’m 25F and when I was 20, I was a shift manager for a supermarket. I was in a rough situation at the time with my ex who was my boyfriend was abusive. Not physically but mentally scarring me, manipulative, the whole typical asshole.

My promised promotion was taken away from a new hire, my cat ran away(which she’s been found weeks later).I could go on and on and on but u get the idea, a shit show. So I resorted to unfortunately drinking alcohol before, during, and after work while looking for new jobs.

Once I got something solid to work elsewhere, I put in my two weeks notice. Everyday I kept drinking and I was on the verge of losing it with how everything been. Especially that relationship I was in.

Fast forward ahead, on my last day of working was a closing shift so I handled the deposit. I did the dumbest thing that I ever done in my life and I hate even thinking about it for how STUPID it was.

It was like $9000 and something that I counted up in cash we had so I did the routine. Counted, bagged, documented but I put it in a different bag with a different bag number then logged.

I did that because when I got into my car, I opened the deposit bag open, and took the cash out. I had a spare bank bag with the right bag number to reseal it with the same cash so it would be fine.

I decided to go to a local casino and put it all on red at a roulette table. Yeah.. not the smartest thing I’ve done but I was also drunk. Functional I’ll add but drunk. I fucking won.

I doubled my money and got nearly $19,000. Once I got my money I left immediately.

This sobered me up real quick after I realized I won AND how my hear dropped when the reality of the situation weighed in and what if I didn’t win thoughts came to mind.

I sealed the money in the right bag, filled the info out, and drove straight to the bank. I dropped it off and that was it. I had the deposit for my own for a 50/50 gamble because I was drunk and feeling reckless.

I stopped drinking on that day and I was convinced for nearly 2 years I was going to get caught even after leaving but nothing. Not a peep.

The supermarket I worked at though wasn’t like Target or Walmart level security though so that was probably a major bonus to why I got away.. and not losing it all in one shot.

I took that as an opportunity to break off with my boyfriend, start fresh at the new job with nearly $10,000K I had. That was my best dumbest decision I’ve ever done and I’m so SO lucky i actually won. I would be fucked beyond belief.

Hello my name is Jacob, my girlfriend Sarah and I have been together for more than 5 years. I was divorced couple years back just because I cheated, and my ex wife cheated as well. After couple of weeks I met my girlfriend I didnt even try to fix or work on myself. I told her about what i did and i cheated. She accepted that and i was scared i was going to lose her. We were so happy together, she wanted me, cared for me, and want to be a part of my life.

Problems happened after 4 months. She moved in with me and when she did i was expecting her to be a certain person. How clean it needs to be, if theres any food that she can make, and I just want her to listen to me. When we get into arguments I try and talk, but it is out of anger, because deep down inside I am still broken and not healed. Her knowing about what I did made her insecure and have negative thoughts. And that led into more arguments. I told her to leave and go back to her parents because I dont want to keep hurting her or be mad. She chose to stay and dont want to leave my side. There were times we were so happy but also times where we fought. I get so mad I would message girls, flirt so she can see it so she could leave me. She still choose me i apologize and keep coming back. We kept fighting over and over and it is a cycle.

There was a time that all we were doing was be close, forget what happened and decided to make a new life. I still see her as a great person and I know that everything will be ok. I was ready for anything to happen. I started my own business it goes up and down with money. No stability but I absolutely try my best. I have couple months left until my son comes. As a first time dad i want to be great so I try and get money. Everyone tells me to work for a company but I choose not to, I want to be successful but there was a time I wasnt making any. My son was born and so I did i was working for awhile became the gm and suddenly there was no work for me. Working for a small business is hard because there were times that I dont get money because the owner doesnt have structure. I left because I wasnt making anything.

This time we get upset because both of us have ego and pride we cant put down, we snap right away instead of taking a step back, we yell, scream, times that we were both hurting each other physically. I never want that and I dont want my son to be around that. I think to myself if im ever enough and most the time I say no, im not a good person for her, I dont get as much money, when I try all i get is im not trying or doing it hard enough, I dont get any intimacy, Im always the one to ask. Which also makes me upset, it makes me think that she doesnt want me anymore, and I get stressed with that. I get irritated alot but she started working and works 2nd shift. I have to be home at a certain time if I dont then she will be late. I work in the morning and there was a time where I have to so a huge project that would make me alot of money if do it in a week. I was not making money for almost 2-3 weeks and I thought it was going to take me a short period of time but took me a long time because there was problems after another. I kept being late I told her to leave. We separated and took my son with her. We decided to have a break and work on ourselves.

This project alone took me 3 weeks, and since I took too long I only got $2k and that went straight to rent and bills. I am behind rent, car, other payments that cost 15k total. I dont see my son or her. But during that time I want to work on myself use it to be better, I went to the source and asked what she wanted. She wanted me to be emotionally connected to her. She wants me to reassure, help her and guide her through everything. Build trust and be a provider. She wants me to be slow to anger, communicate instead of shutting down, dont talk to women and try to push buttons just for that person to be upset. So I did

While she stays at her parents and ive been alone for 3 weeks. I try and text her, call her but during that time she was distant. I told her what my plan was and that is to be better. We both have to fix and be there for our son. But she was telling me that im faking it, lying to her about the things I never wanted to do before and now asking her to come with me. She says that im only wanting her now because i want her to come back which is true I do but I want a chance where I can do better for us. There was a time I met her in person but this time she was the one that got upset quick, she was mad because she i was acting like her before and now she acts like me. But I am confused how she is not really working on anything but also bringing up the past. She broke up with me and said its not going to work because now she is tired of wanting me back after she have chased me so many times and I keep leaving. Me leaving is just leaving for the night and coming back after an hour or 2. Sometimes I sleep in my car because I dont want to say anything bad to her. There's too many tension between us. When I asked her to leave and assuming she would come back after a day or two.. she left for good and stayed at her parents.

No one is watching our kid but her parents, no one is distracting her to go to work, and shes able to do the things she wanted. She was happy where she is, I tried to be there for her, she doesnt appreciate or see the things I do for her, I change the diaper no problem, give baths for my son almost every other day before she comes home. He sleeps and i feed him food. I have more patience and when he cries I dont get irritated. I try to play with him and do things with him but I get told that her parents are able to do things with him, he was up all the time which there was only 3 nights he didnt want to sleep, and I dont try and get home before she goes to work. I honestly do try but she doesnt see my effort. She broke up with me because she said that im not doing things right. Im not able to provide, care for our son, take care of her and be financially successful. All of those things I want, I absolutely do and try my best but she is surrounded with negativity with her parents, they want the best for her and so do i. I speak good things into my thoughts but she doesnt. She always see the bad and not the good. She doesnt see the things I do for her and she would brag about what others can do, how her sister's bf are successful and im not. I think about it all the time, why cant she see that im trying? Why cant she support me with my business?

Even if its hard or not making enough? Why is she not seeing what im doing for the relationship? Why is she comparing things because she sees the good in others but for us its not? I've always wanted her to be happy, i want her to want me the way I want her, but during 5 years of our relationship she doesnt when all ive ever wanted was for her to listen. I want whats good for her. I prioritize her first before our son. But she doesnt see it. I want us to be closer to God after we've been away from him. After my son was before we weren't able to go. She doesnt want to be with me, and she wants me to do all of those things in order for her to come back. But why not come back? And work things together? Why have silence when communication is needed the most? I get sad when I dont see my son do the things that most fathers not see. I want to be able to wake up next to them and be with them. It gives me fuel to keep going. And all ive ever wanted was for someone to support me with what I do because all I want is best for us but she doesnt see it. She doesnt want to be with me because now I want to change. I am its been a long time but she doesnt talk to me much. Its been months without them and at this point I dont know what to do. Can someone share some advice?

A few years back I was dealing with some pretty bad anxiety and couldn't sleep most nights. My doctor wouldn't prescribe anything stronger than melatonin because of my age and I was desperate. My grandmother lived with us at the time and had a bunch of medications including something for sleep that actually worked.

I started taking one pill here and there from her bottle, thinking she wouldn't notice since she had so many prescriptions. Then it became more frequent, maybe two or three times a week. I convinced myself it wasn't a big deal because she rarely took that particular one anyway and the bottle always seemed full.

Eventually my mom noticed my grandmother was running out faster than expected and thought the pharmacy messed up the count. They even filed a complaint. I just sat there quiet while my mom was on the phone arguing with them. My grandmother got confused about it too and I watched her try to remember if she'd been taking more than usual.

I feel terrible about it now, especially because my grandmother passed away last year. I never told anyone and the guilt has been sitting with me ever since. It wasn't just the stealing, it was letting other people get blamed and watching my grandmother doubt her own memory. She didn't deserve that and I was too much of a coward to come clean.

I stopped taking them after a few months when I finally got proper help, but the damage was done. Sometimes I think about confessing to my mom but I don't know if it would make anything better or just hurt her more. Either way, I know what I did was wrong and I'm genuinely sorry for it.