If she's 70+, it's either going to be the most quaint, heart-warming story you've ever heard, or she's about to start listing crimes. He either gave her a flower when they were 4 years old, and they stayed together for 60 years, OR he purchased her from her father when she was 14 and he was 32.There's no in-between. The craziest part is no matter which one you get, they speak about it in the same cutesy way. It's bizarre how they'll fondly reminisce about the time he walked 7 miles just to buy her favorite tea in the exact same tone they use to tell you about the time he committed 4 counts of assault after the Steelers lost. They have a charming nostalgia about him either way. The conversations are always something like:

Her: "So we met when he started following me home in an unmarked, windowless van every day after school. I didn't really think much about him until he pointed a loaded gun at my head. That really caught my attention! I'll never forget when he asked me on our first date. He said "I can either take you to prom or send you to hell. What's it gonna be?". That's when I knew he was the one."

Me:"... Okay... Edith, did you report that to anybody? It seems a little...strange."

Her:"Yeah, I told the police, but they assured me that I was just having my period.I know he could be a little stern, but that's my Harold".

Me: ...

So first off. I KNOW this was an incredibly stupid thing to do. I was a bit tipsy, I have always struggled with low self esteem and I was curious about people's unfiltered thoughts. I regret it now. This was definitely some self harm shit because I KNOW people are mean on there

Top comment was how I look like a divorced mom. Which honestly, fair, guilty, lol. I am in fact a divorced mom. Though I would rather not so obviously look like one!

I am 34. I got so many comments telling me i look 45-50. Which is upsetting. In person I often get told I look younger than my age, but I guess they are just being nice

I got told I look like a man in a wig and was referred to as "it", told I have a "hockey player build" another very upvoted comment was that I somehow look both ugly and pretty. Most of the consensus was I am "average" and rated a 4-5. There were also quite a few nice comments but it kind of feels like they were just trying to be nice. I went to sleep and woke up to hundreds of comments and a lot of regret

I know I probably am just average looking. And I know that is okay, most people are. I have never had an issue finding men who are interested in me. I am obviously not a model. But I dunno. A lot of these comments are staying with me and making me feel really down. Never doing that again

Also, I know MANY of the people commenting are giant losers who hate women. I keep trying to remind myself of that. I've noticed average looking men get gassed up in that subreddit and women are critiqued much more harshly

And I can’t do anything because it’s his place, but fuck me it’s ridiculous.

The other day I woke up at 7:40 and he was in there, he was still in there when I let at 8:30. Not in the room you understand… in the SHOWER. With the water running for 50 fucking minutes at least

Make it make sense ffs

It was a comment from a post yesterday, but it looks like it was deleted by the OP.

I think it's because the amount of insufferable, deranged and disturbed redditors I (and we) had come across or read about in my total of eight years and two accounts on the website. Also, subreddit controversies that either had the sub and/or users banned or even televised on national news.

Anyone have their interpretations?

So today I walked into Family Dollar. The worker doesn’t greet me or even acknowledge my existence. I didn’t think it was a big deal at first. But the next person that came into the store and the cashier immediately gave them a very warm greeting and asked them how they were. But me ??? Nothing just a cold and stern stare. Maybe I’m just reading too deeply into things that don’t matter but this really stung.This is one of the reasons I hate to even go anywhere in public I always feel as if the entire world is against me specifically. Obviously I’m not owed anything but I just don’t understand why I can’t receive the same kindness that most people get when they are out and about. What is it about me that makes everyone hate me and it’s not even just in real life but online too :/ it’s so depressing

According to all the doctors we talked to, the success rate of a woman surviving a full blockage heart attack outside of a hospital and requiring VA ECMO support is considered a "medical miracle". My mother's case is so rare that the hospital is journaling her case and recovery

I’ve noticed lately that my communication skill aren’t the best. This honest scares me for when I get a job and stuff because I need people to take me seriously, but I believe it all stems from the fact that I’m lonely. Idk why either, in high school I had a bunch of friends but they all just left. Ever since then I’ve barely had conversations with anyone but my family, it doesn’t help that I moved out either. I literally have to talk to myself to keep company, and then suddenly I’ll stop and let the silence sink in, because seriously?

The weird part is that I do talk when I need to, but I start shaking even though my voice is confident, and I just sound so immature compared to everyone else it makes me feel like I’m being left behind, I also do try and communicate because I need friends but idk what my problem is. Like I remember I had an interview for an internship, idk what the deal was but it felt like I wanted to cry and it sounded like it too, a part of me feels like it’s because that was a chance to sell myself and talk about myself, which I don’t really get the chance to do. I hope that was a one time thing because I want to get a good job and that won’t land me anything. Being lonely is genuinely the worst.

I love everything about America and its lifestyle. I love American schools, dissecting frogs in biology class, making volcano models, and having the freedom to choose your own classes. I love the level of freedom American high school students have, and the whole teenage experience in America, including becoming partially independent from your parents, starting to discover yourself, having your first girlfriend, getting your first part-time job, and spending time doing your hobbies. And of course, I absolutely love the yellow school bus.

I also love American universities, the extracurricular activities available to students, the skills they get to develop, and, of course, college life, parties, dorms, and the freedom to wear whatever you want and do things like use your phone, eat, or drink coffee during lectures.

I love American restaurants, fashion, the variety of options, the different streetwear styles among young people, the incredible variety of activities and events, and all the places and things you can do to have fun and enjoy your time.

I LOVE AMERICA SO MUCH! I wish my country had even just 1% of what America has. :(

I know you have your own struggles and difficulties in life, and I'm not trying to downplay them, but America really is an amazing and genuinely fun country.

Edit: I clearly stated that I understand you have your own struggles in life, and I don’t downplay them. I’ll say it again: I know you face financial pressures, have exhausting lives, and deal with certain downsides of living in America. However, most of these issues exist in much of the world.

I deliberately mentioned only the simplest things that 99% of you have experienced. I didn’t even mention the incredible geographical and cultural diversity across your states, your unique architectural styles and urban planning, wooden houses and homes surrounded by forests, public libraries, national parks, or the most important thing I’ve dreamed about every single day since childhood and still dream of to this day: Disney World. I also didn’t mention the wide variety of career paths, the ability to work in a field you genuinely love, or the sheer abundance of opportunities available to you.

You live in an amazing country, but you’re simply victims of your own media, which misleads you into believing otherwise.

im in highschool and got braces around 6 months ago and now i genuinely have no idea what i look like. my teeth werent just crooked i had buck teeth like overbite overjet a gap between them and i didnt really notice them bc i always saw them but it was the first thing anyone else saw about me. girls wouldnt say anything but guys would. id talk and be told to close that fucking mouth or asked why my teeth look like that. lots of people have crooked teeth but mine were like this major flaw and people treated me so terribly all my life because of it. im not terrible looking im just normal but bc of the teeth i was always bullied for my looks, probably compared to every animal ever. even when i was younger and i was going through a terrible home situation id come to school happy just bc it was safe and i didnt have any friends i was nice i just stayed to myself but people would constantly tell me how ugly i was and id cry walking home bc i really didnt have anywhere to go or anyone that cared about me and its different now but that feeling of being so unwanted never really left me. i was never the one that was picked i remember in eight grade it was the summer of first relationships and it was a pretty small school but every girl in my friend group, every girl in my grade actually had a person. except me. and they weren’t good relationships ofc they barely liked eachother but it was more the idea of it that hurt. that i couldnt be wanted in that way. and at the dance we played those silly games where a boy grabs a girls hand and it keeps going and youd pick ur person and by the end youd atleast be someones last option yk but i held my hand out for 3 rounds without anyone even glancing at me. i spent the rest of the dance in the bathroom. i actually still havent had any romantic experiences at all with a guy bc of what it has done over the years to my self esteem there is this deep belief in me that nobody could ever want me in that way. ive spent years overcompensating for it trying to make myself a better person bc of this i have a lot of other good qualities like my hair is pretty and im very into fashion and i wear a lot of jewellery and perfume so i smell like cake and my nails are always done. i make everything else in my life really pretty even my room is like a pinterest board. and i go to the gym i have really good grades i have a lot of hobbies im very good at art i paint animals realism like people buy my stuff. but it didnt really matter bc at the end of the day i was bunny buck teeth girl. and now my teeth have straightened out they worked quickly and my front teeth are straight they don’t stick out theres no gap. but i have spent my entire life being treated terribly bc of them and i guess im not used to it now. when i meet new people they dont notice it and they dont say anything bc it isnt a thing anymore but i still stand there waiting for them to. and i cant even let myself like a guy bc i feel like its insulting to him and im just making him uncomfortable so i mean i havent even had a talking stage this entire year and when i tell people that they tell me like oh why you’re not even ugly but they just don’t get it. i used to hear people say stuff like this and think it was stupid but now i understand. i will walking around and i’ll be thinking oh god i look so terrible right now this is embarrassing and i have a vision in my head of what i look like and then i see my reflection and it’s nothing like what i had imagined. i guess i have changed alot of other things about my appearance too so it isnt just my teeth but it’s still so hard for me to grasp now. people treat me so differently when they meet me now, im used to being ignored especially by guys in any social setting and now im not. i got so used to the feeling of being unwanted that it was just a normal thing in my head that i wasnt dateable and i was ugly and i was always going to be below everyone else. its not insecurity just an accepted fact. and now im trying to get used to being treated like an actual person and it’s just confusing. anyone relate?

You don't have to be happy right now, if you don't feel the desire to. Embrace your emotions. Become one with your emotions. Come to terms with your emotions. It is a process that will take as long as it has to. Some days may feel like forever, being so slow that it hurts to do nothing at all, but be alone with your thoughts, without anyone to talk to, or anywhen. And some days, events can feel as if their not happening fast enough; expecting yourself to heal so quickly on the mental plane, yet remain stuck and encased in a flurry of emotions and headaches front and back.

All the colors of the rainbow present themselves here, in you. And feeling as if you're not in the mood, is perfectly okay. If you ever feel like searching for a way out, searching for advice, is more stressful than what lets it on, just walk away from it all, go drink a cup, glass, or bottle of water, and just let your thoughts and surroundings just be. Times may present themselves under difficulty, while others grasps the urge to continue forth on an activity that's looked forward to. Whatever the case is, the most important thing is to pace yourself, at the speed comfortable to you. Don't beat yourself up when you take a step back. Just hold in your heart what you're drawing yourself towards, and you will be okay.

You, will be okay.

I get up at 6 every morning for the school bus and do everything in my power to look nice for school so I don't get bullied. Nothing works, nothing looks good, not even the simplest forms of simplicity. When you are constantly being picked on for how you looked, it feels like having daggers pointed at every corner of your body as soon as you step outside the house. Being ugly is not for the weak and It should never be romanticised for a second. Why does nothing work!?? I can't wear foundation or any makeup other than mascara because it stings my skin really bad, and my hair is so thin and straight and it emphasizes my big ass head. I can't focus in class when people are snickering at me because of how ugly I am can someone please give me advice.

Okay. The effects of no sleep last night are kicking in now. I put my clothes in the washing machine, thought I turned it on, then 3 hours later hung them up on the rack. The wash never went on and I have dirty clothes airing out 🤦🏻‍♂️

It’s been 42 hours without sleep… I’m going to bed

I have it and I hate it so much. I always wear a compression tank top, shirt, and sweater outside. I’ve been made fun of for it and even had it pointed out by my dad once. The only people that understand how bad it is are the people that actually have it. Everyone else either gets really dismissive about it at best or makes fun of it at worst. Yet despite that, you’re somehow tasked with being okay with it and not feeling negatively about it, despite having all the reasons to. It (along with other things) makes me not want to be in public or socialize with people. I also haven’t seen anyone or put myself out there, and it’ll probably stay that way for the foreseeable future.

Just wanted to drop this here cause i love how anonymous reddit is. no faking it, just raw thoughts. turning 27 in dec, living in a tier 3 city in india, pulling in 2l+ a month from a generational business. honestly in a small town that money goes a long way, got decent cars, good family, and been putting profits into real estate so finances are sorted. ​but man, behind all that, the last few years have been a total mindfuck. was in a 9 year relationship from 16 to 25. she was my first everything, never touched anyone else. then she cheated and completely broke me. had a thousand racing thoughts a day, so i went off the deep end trying to numb it. got heavy into drugs—coke, meth, weed, mostly coke and whiskey. started sleeping with call girls left and right, even tried an mff threesome just trying to run away from the pain. ​body finally gave out and i got an ulcer, which forced me to quit the heavy shit. nowadays im mostly sober, just weed and cigs. still think about her sometimes even if im mostly over it, ghosts just linger i guess. ​life's good on paper now, but I'm completely lost on how to actually get my life on track. I want real-life advice on how to completely kick my remaining habits, build absolute self-independence, and reach a point where I don't need or rely on anyone else. I'd genuinely appreciate wisdom from well-doing businessmen, seasoned servicemen/professionals, or philosophers and psychologists whose perspectives I can actually look up to and learn from. ​anyway, posting this as an anchor. no highlight reels. see you guys right here next december to review where things are at.

It all began when I was 11, comparing myself to nearly every girl I encountered, whether in public or at school, long before i had any social media. I've always perceived other girls as prettier, with better bodies, more fulfilling lives, stronger friendships, and they countless opportunities and people like every single girl more than me. I dread looking in the mirror and often struggle to find anything about my appearance that I genuinely like. I’ve never truly experienced that feeling of looking at myself and thinking I’m pretty. Even as an adult, I still deal with this. Since this started at 11 it never went way even if i am an adult now.

I began starving myself at age of 12 because I thought becoming thinner would make me prettier and more accepted and whenever i see any girl’s body i starve myself thinking they have a better body than me. I dealt with this all my life even in adulthood. Other times, when I’m overwhelmed, stressed or sad, I binge eat. I have been binge eating every day for years including at times depriving myself of food it goes around in cycles. I also become addicted on certain foods and drinks and spend money on them almost every day because i am addicted to them.

I find myself mimicking other girls a lot. Whether it’s their style, looks, personality, or how they carry themselves, I tend to follow their lead. I’ve chased after trends, thinking that if I fit in, people would like me more or treat me better. But honestly, I’m a bit lost when it comes to my own identity. I know I’m kind, honest, supportive, compassionate, and helpful, and I have a few interests that I enjoy, but beyond that, I often struggle to figure out who I really am. There are times when I feel like I lack my own identity because I’m always comparing myself to other girls and wishing I could be more like them.

I often find myself wishing I could trade my face, body, personality, friendships, relationships, and even my whole life for someone else's. I know it sounds a bit extreme, but that's just how intense these feelings can get.

I get so upset seeing any girl in a relationship being valued, loved, cherished and treated amazingly.

I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy when I see people my age enjoying their friendships, relationships, vacations, and the freedom that comes with independence. I get that social media only shows a slice of reality, but emotionally, it really weighs on me. I've never actually been in a relationship with a guy.

It feels like everyone around me is so much further along in their lives, especially when it comes to friendships and romantic connections.

I faced bullying throughout my childhood and teenage years, from nursery all the way through secondary school.

It came from both boys and girls, and sometimes even from people who didn’t know me at all. I was called names, had things thrown at me, and was the subject of gossip, hurtful words and rumours spread about me. I was ignored, humiliated, and made to feel invisible by girls and boys all my school life. While some teachers were aware of what was going on, they didn’t step in to help.

Honestly, I can’t wrap my head around why I was treated this way. I never set out to make enemies or provoke anyone. I always aimed to treat others with kindness, respect, loyalty, and support. I’m not looking for sympathy or trying to paint myself as a victim; if I had done something wrong, I would own up to it.

For about 15 years, I dealt with this kind of rejection and mistreatment, and it still impacts me as an adult. When I’ve made friends, they often start off being really nice, but then they become distant, aggressive, emotionally abusive, talk behind my back. When that happens, I’ve had to cut ties to protect myself. Some of those people have tried to come back into my life later. This has happened with every person that has come into my life i don’t think i’ve ever had a real friend.

I tend to get attached to people pretty fast. The moment I meet someone, I often feel this instant connection and start thinking of them as a friend right away. I find myself wanting to reach out and hang out with them. It’s not something I plan; it just kind of happens naturally.

My mind is always buzzing with activity. It’s like it never takes a break. I find myself flooded with memories and flashbacks from years gone by, often with vivid details that feel so real. Out of nowhere, I’ll recall people and moments from my past that I haven’t consciously thought about in ages, and some of these memories are ones I’d rather forget. The flashbacks are painful for me to remember whatever i do my mind 24/7 has flashbacks of my past without my control. Nothing will trigger these flashbacks off either.

I also experience very intense nostalgia i may see a place i used to go to in the past and i’d have such bad nostalgia even if i’ve seen the places many times i’d still get severely nostalgia.

I find myself feeling down almost every day, even when there’s nothing in particular triggering it. My emotions can swing wildly throughout the day. There are moments when I might burst into tears, out of nowhere, i am very sensitive person , or just be completely drained and overwhelmed. Then, out of nowhere, I can feel this strange burst of energy or even laugh, all while still carrying those heavy emotions.

I constantly worry about the future and imagine the worst possible situations. I’m very dependant person most people my age as an adult are way more independent then me in so many aspects of life.

I always procrastinate i’ve been doing that for years i can start something and not be bothered to finished it no energy no motivation i haven’t had motivation in years. When i learn something it takes ages for my brain to finally learn it correctly to get it correct what i am learning.

One moment i’m fine or feeling sad and the next i change into a different person especially if something triggers me my behaviour changes and i get irritable. I get very jealous and envious quickly.

One of my longest struggles has been the way I see myself. Since childhood, long before social media, I’ve compared myself to almost every girl I encounter. I notice their faces, bodies, personalities, and the way other people treat them, and somehow I always find a reason to believe they’re better than me. Looking in the mirror can leave me feeling deeply uncomfortable with my own reflection, and even compliments are difficult to accept because I cannot see what other people claim to see in me. Some mornings, I struggle with my appearance before the day has even begun.

For years, I’ve also struggled with going out alone or using public transport without my family. I worry that strangers might harm me, and having someone I trust beside me helps me feel safe. Although I want independence, the anxiety can feel so consuming that even taking small steps towards it becomes overwhelming. I haven’t been out in public by myself in years or public transport unless someone with me.

I want to sell feet pics or pics of anything other than nudes. where can I do this?
Edit: might consider nudes if they don’t show my face

When I was younger, I had so many ideas about the person I would be by now. It's really strange how life turns out differently from what we imagined.

I am still growing, still figuring things out, but sometimes I wonder when I stopped being so excited about the future.

And I am not angry about it. I am actually pretty happy now. Yes, I used to make quite a bit of money and could afford random stuff every week, but it destroyed me mentally every single day I was working. I now work at a dog boarding place part time and absolutely love my job! I’m able to not only love on so many dogs everyday, but it also works very well with my schedule for my own dogs, with feeding, potty breaks, and more. Only downside is I am now struggling paycheck to paycheck, and became behind on a couple credit cards(yes I know, that is the worst thing you can possibly do, I get it) but I am not angry at myself. I am loving my life right now having time to enjoy things and spend time with my family. I used to go to work at 12:30pm and come home from work at 12:30am, if not 1am everyday.
After working full time for so many years, wasting my life away, I finally said “yanno, why not?” And went to something I enjoy. I might be broke, it might bite me on the ass one day in the future, but for now, I’m content, and I’m happy, no matter the circumstances. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, vehicles to drive, lifelong companions, I think I’ll do this for a couple more months before I decide to get my life back together again.

When I was younger, I would compete in tennis matches, with the dream that I could be a professional player. I didn't really think it, but I had hoped. If I trained enough, if I went hard then I could make it. However I was from a small town with a not so good coach. I kept at it with 3-4 hours a day hitting the balls back and forth with my brothers. We would travel to tournaments where we would usually be defeated by tennis players with skills far greater than I possessed. How did they do it, because I was working hard and sweating. Was it pure talent or were they naturally gifted at it? So I would lose and lose again and again. Not only would I lose in sport but I was less than average in my classes, while I was in the honors and AP classes, I did not do well and obtained Cs. I never won any of the competitions. Growing up I was quiet, not shy. I never viewed myself as shy because its not that I was afraid to talk to people I just was not sure what to say to them and how to continue the conversation. So I ended up being alone for most of my time in middle school. In high school I still was alone but I made huge efforts to talk to people and to invite them places. However with all my effort it never seemed like anyone reciprocated back, or if they did I just didn't like there character. I made daily strides to dress nicer so people would like me and be interesting and reach out. I did get more "friends" from this but I just could not maintain them. It seemed the skills I had tried so hard to develop eventually were returning to how they were before. I went to college and I flourished while joining clubs and meeting people. For the first time I had community and felt seen. However I found it challenging to balance work , classes, and friendship. I eventually lost what I had worked so hard to gain. I don't talk to any of the poeple anymore and I dont even have time because I want to do well in my classes. Currently I struggle to perform well even though I am trying, its not enough to try but I dont know what else to do. How do I overcome the challenges of my own body and mind, I don't want to be this way but I don't know how to change?

I (20M) assaulted my close friend (20F) the other night in a hotel room.

I went to a concert the other day with a friend of mine, and it was a great time. I got to see a nice city, and we drove around, and overall the whole experience was amazing. I could never forget it, and she had a great time as well. After the concert we had planned to get drunk in a hotel room, and watch movies or play games.

When we get to the hotel room we watched a movie first, Silent Hill, then we started playing games. While talking she asked when we were gonna start drinking. I said we could right now, it’s around 10pm at this point, and so we got our 50% shooters, and drank one. She did mention to me beforehand that she gets very drunk just from taking two of them.

After we drank one I felt pretty fine, I didn’t notice anything and I wasn’t really sure what to expect. This was my first time really drinking to get drunk, but I noticed she was already tipsy, and so I waited a little bit because I just figured maybe it takes a little bit to kick in. Another thing to note is that we had not eaten anything but bread that day—we were both pretty empty inside. After waiting a while I decided to drink another one, and as I go to drink it she says she wants to match me.

I was a little surprised, but apparently this is a common thing i guess where if you drink with people you kinda follow along? I don’t really agree with that or understand it, but she said that, and i trusted her. So we both drink another one, and at this point she is pretty drunk, and i’m still not feeling anything. Again, I wait around 20 minutes and still nothing, so i get up to get another, and i noticed that she still had about 10% left in the bottle, and i announced that because I thought it was silly, so then she got up and drank the rest of it, and I took my third drink.

I am starting to feel something now, I feel pretty drunk? I was kinda wobbly like jello, and my head kinda hurt a little bit, I started finding weird things a little funny, my senses felt strange. It was a unique experience to me. I’ve never felt anything like that before, and I felt that “buzz” too, like I understood why it’s called that, and like my fingers were kinda numb, and so were my lips. It was interesting..

With everything that happened it’s around 1AM now, and we’re laying in bed, and we start kinda talking about freaky stuff, kinda just a tease I guess? It kinda set a mood because we had stopped doing sexual activity since July for unrelated reasons, but every now and then there were talks of freaky stuff, and glimpses of sexual activity when we weren’t really supposed to be doing that. Eventually we both are just kinda laying in bed tired, and we’re both still really drunk, and this is where things began to take a turn for the worse.

It’s around 3am? maybe 4am? I don’t know. I just know it was really late at night, and i thought she was still awake, because she was making some noises, and I said something and she made a noise or something that made me determine that she was awake. In that moment I began to grab her butt, and in the past whenever something like that would happen she wouldn’t say anything, or whenever it was something she didn’t want she would say no, and I respected that because why wouldn’t I? Eventually i start to stick my hand in her pants just to do the same thing. I had no intentions of ever penetrating, or touching her intimate spot. I just wanted to fondle her butt, and as i was going into her pants, she slowly grabbed my hand and said what are you doing. I took that as an obvious sign to stop, and I did, and said sorry. Nothing else happened that night, and I just fell asleep hugging her. In my head I took that as her being okay with what happened before that, but not going any further than that, and i was okay with that.

Moving forward on the drive back home to our city, during the last 30ish minutes of the ride we’re talking about the day, and I am just trying to make sure that like there wasn’t anything that happened that upset her, and she tells me that there was something that happened, and that it was really serious. She then asked if I was okay talking about it with 30 minutes left in the drive. I said yes, and it was at that point when she tells me that she wasn’t awake for that, and that when she woke up to me touching her butt, and she froze because she didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t until i started putting my hand in her pants when she said to stop. It’s been a day since then, and a lot has happened, we’re in a friend group, and like it sucks.

I apologized because that’s all I really could do in that moment. I didn’t know what else to say or do, I really didn’t know she was asleep. I am thinking about it now, and I was such an idiot. I always heard stories about people getting drunk and this happening, and I should’ve just known this was a bad idea. A hotel room, same bed, and drinking? the writing was on the wall, but I was a naive idiot, and I let that happen.

She was afraid to tell our friends what happened because she was afraid of my reputation and image, and she was trying to come up with lies to tell them as to why we stopped talking and being around each other so much. I didn’t like that, so I told her that I was going to tell them what happened, and I wasn’t going to omit any details. Everything that i said here is what I told all of our friends. I’ve known them for years, and to keep something as scandalous as this from them would feel wrong. They deserved to know, and I didn’t care about my image because to lie, and ignore this problem would be morally incorrect, and I would not be okay with that.

Now i am here, and I am ashamed. I’m disappointed in myself. I’m so sad, and angry, and I just can’t believe someone like myself would do something like that. How could I hurt someone I loved so much. How could I become someone like that. How could I possibly forgive myself for doing something so bad. I don’t think i ever could. I hate myself, and I hate everything that is happening, things will never be the same and it’s all my fault. I let her down, she trusted me with so much, and I failed her. I did the unthinkable to her, and I just can’t forgive that. I can’t fix this, I can try and salvage it, but it’s just not going to happen.

Telling my friends felt like the first step to making things right, but now i’m here sitting at work trying not to cry, and locking in for these customers figuring out what I can even do next. I messed up bad, and I’m going into this bathroom to cry, and look at myself in the mirror telling myself to distract myself so I don’t let these random strangers see my tears. I’m in extreme emotional distress, and I am so sad.

Hey guys im 19M and in college. Took a gap year after graduating hs in 2025 but now im in the middle of my first semester. For context ive kinda had a raging drug problem since i was 15 i was just really good at hiding it. Had a few talking stages and with the ones that werent also addicted always told me to go sober but I genuinely hate the reasons they give me.

Ive had friends tell me to go sober before and it was always a boring speech about how im destroying myself or something and how i would greatly benefit from sobriety. Boring but atleast respectable yk, I always felt like i was being talked to by a priest or smth lmao. But with this one girl especially, they want me to get sober for them. Like solely for them no other reason. They want a fucking movie moment where i go through the most excruciating process i can imagine happening in my current trajectory of life to prove how much i love them. To prove to themselves how great they must be if im willing to do all of that.

Its never even really a conversation, just an ultimatum. Never a speech voicing their concerns about my wellbeing, its literally all about them. Now ive been a cynical person for as long as i can remember like i always assume the worst for no reason. But if I had genuine concerns about another person I would, logically, tell them why i am concerned and how they could benefit from not doing "x" thing. That never happens with this one.

Genuinely some of the least admirable shit I could witness. Its impossible to take her words seriously.
Idk its just that when ive been using adderal, coke, alcohol, weed, ket, and all the other shit as a crutch and im expected to drop it all for a person who is objectively untrustworthy it sounds kinda insane. I mean ive been functioning just fine as a person too, really only have A's and B's in all 5 of my classes.

Whats the point of going through all of that pain for a person who doesnt seem trust worthy at all? Makes zero sense imo. And obv im gonna get sober when I have my career in order but who cares now lol. Already gone sober twice and it was hell im not doing it for some girl whos company i dont even enjoy fr. Her whole ultimatum thing was some of the most disingenuous garbage ive ever seen. I'd probably be better snorting fent off a bowie knife like scarface than being in a relationship with her.

And yeah you obv dont know the full story on how i judged her character this way but she is genuinely just untrustworthy. The shit people told me bru this one girl told me she snitched on her own brother because he was doing smth illegal i forgot i was drunk. And all the random lies that she has no incentive to tell me. And i ofc figure probably most are lies. Who tf lies about their favorite song? Who tf lies about there dead mothers ethnicity?

Idk im drunk rn this whole situation is just pissing me off. gts now

My close friends got married and have been busy. Others I haven't been able to reach out to. Office has been rough, and parents don't really care about what I do. I don't have any siblings either.

That being said. It's been like 5 months since I started running at zero. Today, for the first time, I finally finished a 5k run under 35 minutes. Felt like a massive achievement considering I was overweight at 90 kilos at the start of the year.

Now I am close to 83.5 ish. Slow progress, but steady. And yet, I realized I don't have anyone to share this. I personally wouldn't mind. But it just was painfully obvious to me today.