r/SuicideWatch • • Sep 03 '19

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement

1.8k Upvotes

We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.

We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.

We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.

Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.

Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.


/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement


Summary

It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.

Validate Feelings and Experiences, Not Self-Destructive Intentions

We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.

But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.

Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.

Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.

In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.

So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.

How to Avoid Validating Suicidal Intent

Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.

  • People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.

  • Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.

  • An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.

  • There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.

To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.

Look Out for Deliberate Incitement. It May Come in Disguise.

Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.

They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:

  • Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.

  • Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.

Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:

  • Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)

  • Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ wiki). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.

Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.


r/SuicideWatch • • Sep 10 '21

Please remember that NO ACTIVISM of any kind is ever allowed here. No matter what day it is.

718 Upvotes

Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.

Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.

But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.

Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.

tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.


r/SuicideWatch • • 15h ago

My rapist won NSFW

369 Upvotes

For years I’ve convinced myself that he didn’t. I used to say I’m glad it was me and not someone else because other girls would’ve killed themselves- but I was stronger than that. I’m glad I could spare them. That even though I dropped out of school, dated an abusive pos, and started drinking all the time- it didn’t matter because I started getting my life back on track. I went back to school. I dumped my pos ex and barely drink.

I didn’t want him to have power over me anymore and used my life as evidence that he can’t control me. I’m married to a lovely man. I’m in law school following my dreams. Everything looks great. I have and accomplished all the things that I thought would make me fulfilled.

But I feel empty.

I can barely have sex with my husband. I hate myself. I can’t believe my husband will love me without my body, which is partially true because apparently nobody wants a sexless marriage.

He really did win in the end- no consequences and he’s married living his life while mine is dwindling away.

I’ve accepted I’ll never be happy. I’ve been fighting for my life for so long and it’s all been for nothing.

Idk why I’ve even tried. Idk why I’m even here anymore. Guess I won’t be


r/SuicideWatch • • 5h ago

Hate this fucking world and every single person in it

53 Upvotes

Idk why I'm writing this. I don't even want people to respond. I don't want people. I hate fucking people. I hate the fucking world.

I'm cold and distant. You'll never get a smile from me or a "how are you". You'll never get anything from me. No hugs, no touches. I hate touch- it's just a transfer of energy and who wants other people's shit ??? Not me. I hate people. Hate you all. Your emotions tire me. I don't want to hear how you're feeling or how your life is going. I don't want to hear about your fucking day. Or your hearts desires. I don't give two fucks about you. I want quiet, peace, without any of you. I don't want a relationship, I don't want physical or emotional or spiritual connection with anyone. Soul mates, twin flames, friends- BULLSHIT. Anyone who believes in those things makes me laugh. So naive. So gentle. So fake. Everyone plays the game- they're scared to be otherwise..I am not afraid- of anything or anyone. I've been through hell and all the fires in it and had no one to fight alongside with. Love is pure laughable shit. Doesn't exist. Y'all like to believe it does- but it's all in your fucking big heads. Fuck humanity. Fuck their pretend words. No man exists for a woman, no woman exists for a man, no woman for woman, no man for man. You all just look for someone to fulfill you. Even if you say you don't. No exceptions.

Everyone is the same. Everything is the same.

Fuck you all. And fuck "love".

I will never show my emotions to you or "open up", you pieces of shit, I show them to myself, and I suffer alone, no need for no one, as I give myself to me and only me.


r/SuicideWatch • • 8h ago

this place is a prison

65 Upvotes

life.


r/SuicideWatch • • 1h ago

I wish I could blow my fucking head off

• Upvotes

Too bad I don’t have a gun.


r/SuicideWatch • • 9h ago

Anhedonia has ruined my life

47 Upvotes

I literally just lie in bed all day staring at the walls, staring at the ceiling. I think about euthanasia constantly. I don't get enjoyment out of anything any more, I can't even turn on the TV without turning it off again after 30 seconds. I just want to die but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it.


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I think it's over.

11 Upvotes

20M, been abused relentlessly by my parents my whole life and I think they've finally successfully ripped it all from me. Don't tell me to call the cops and don't ask why I didn't just call CPS, I can tell you all about how shit they are at their jobs because they've kept me here over and over. I promise whatever you're going to suggest, I've tried it already. I've been sitting with this since my birth.

Now that I'm grown (and while the abuse still goes on), I've been left with absolutely nothing. I didn't get a diploma because they "homeschooled" me, and the state never really cared enough to check in on that. Don't have a license nor will they let me get one, I live in the middle of nowhere so I can't go anywhere myself. If I leave the house on foot they come after me and physically drag me back home, plus since they've kept me malnourished and sick so I can't run very far (even if I made it, what would I do without a dollar to my name?). Can't get a job because I've done jackshit with my life up to now and the market is falling apart. I have no friends. No personal belongings, because my mom throws them all out. I have to beg internet strangers for funds just to buy food and it feels fucking pathetic. I can see my bones sticking out. My teeth have all decayed because I wasn't given anything to brush them with growing up (managed to remedy this later in life myself but the damage was already done) and it makes me feel so fucking ugly and worthless. It's irreversible damage, not a damn thing is fixing that. I couldn't pay for it anyways! And nobody wants to be friends with you when you're ugly.

I've had a dental abscess for months now and I can't afford to fix it even if I manage to sneak out where these assholes will never find me. My mouth throbs every day terribly but my mom keeps telling me it'll "go away on its own". I spend every day in constant fear trapped in this house knowing it won't, begging and pleading and trying to find some stupid way to afford the root canal because god knows I can't. I've tried crowdfunding, I've tried applying to every job I see, I've tried colleges, it doesn't work. There's nothing. Nothing at all. One day I'll probably get sepsis and it'll take me out. These days I just hope it'll do so in my sleep to finally put an end to this. I hope that when it happens, everyone will know who to blame.

The only reason I haven't done it yet is because of my cat and my boyfriend (god knows how I managed to find someone willing to put up with the mess that I am, but to date he's the only one to ever stay and the only one who ever will) but I think he'll get over me quickly. I've watched his life get better while mine gets worse and worse. He's funny and talented and smart and he's so much further ahead in life than me. I know I hold him back even though he doesn't say it. I'm so tired of being dead weight to him almost as much as I'm tired of being alive at all. He's too good for that, y'know? The longer I'm with him the more I'll hurt him when I die young. It's not right.

I don't even know how I plan to do it. Maybe I'll just swallow everything in the medicine cabinets without a set plan and see what it does. I couldn't care less anymore. It never gets better for people like me. I think some of us were born to die to keep things balanced and even. Maybe I'm better as a statistic or a headline or something. I don't know. Wouldn't that be messed up?

At least I don't have to write a note. Nobody would find it or care what it has to say. I have my door blocked off so I don't think anyone will find my body until the smell gets through the house. My parents always thought suicide was a stupid decision. "Why would you do that over something that's just in your head?" they'd always tell me. Is this a final act of vengeance? Not really. I'll just prove them right that I'm their deadbeat good for nothing son. They'll get to play the victim cards forever as parents of a dead kid. The idea of surrender used to piss me off. I just don't want to give them the satisfaction of being the ones to take me out, even if it's slowly.

How does anyone end these things? I made a throwaway account for this, I don't really use Reddit and I dunno what I even want from posting this. To be seen, I guess. I hope it all ends soon. I really do. However that end may come.


r/SuicideWatch • • 31m ago

It feels inevitable.

• Upvotes

Anybody else?


r/SuicideWatch • • 5h ago

In a terrible person

12 Upvotes

I’m a terrible person and just want someone to kill me I fucking hate my brain I hate evrything about myself I fucking suck hope I jsut get a heart attack i can’t even kill myself because ill fail at that too


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

im so alone

6 Upvotes

i cant do it im buying a gun on saturday plans confirmed i just cant handle this crushing loneliness everyone i care about doesnt even think of me ive cried all day im done


r/SuicideWatch • • 15h ago

I hate living in Turkiye and i cant see any way to leave other than killing myself

67 Upvotes

(This post and account will be deleted in about 2 weeks) Government sucks. They will soon bring id verification for social media. This is prolly the last post i will make from this account either by killing myself or just my account being closed. Economy sucks ass and i honestly dont see any way for me to live here. Even when i become an adult it wont change anything. People here are low-tolerance assholes that cant accept ANYONE different, and it wont change. Its only going to get worse from here. The government lives off this shit. "Oh, lets take control of social media", "Oh, there was a school shooting, it was video games, trust us it was because of cracking 90's on fortnite", "Oh, gay people are the devil's children, although, we are the ones leeching money off of the people to do more dictatorial shit, and rigging elections, or, fucking be buddies with terrorists", "Oh, my wife hates me because i have aids and have a small penis", over, and over and over. These pieces of organic garbage would geniunely put a 14 year old who criticized them in prison and let go of a rapist because of low evidence. When i look at my country, i do not feel proud, totalitarian piece of shit goverment, an oppressive islamic population, bad economy, crime rates rising every day, people are stupid. If you say you arent a muslim, you WILL be sent death threats, if you have a different opinion that goes against goverment's moral identity, you will be sent death threats. If you even mention the fact that gay people arent the spawn of the devil, guess what buddy, death threats. I am never more suicidal than when i open the news and see the government being on some privacy invading bullshit. And with how often they are implementing these laws and how casual the public is about it, i doubt there is aaany chance of them slowing down, give it five years and we will be on "Getting out of the country is illegal". Its incredibly frustrating and hopeless to live in this country if you dont suck Erdogan's, definetly micro penis for living. I am 15 and i WILL be jumping down a random apartment if i dont find a way to get out of this stupid country. I am thinking of getting out somehow by going to university in another country, but, unfortunately, my family does not shit money, sure we are middle class, but i doubt thats enough, and i still need to wait 2 years to do that, 2 years is a looooooot if time for our dear government to do more restrictive shit that will make it even harder. I will see government's supporters, froth at the fucking mouth that i dont want my human rights to be brutally violated. AND even if the goverment here somehow got better(that always happens right) there is a huge earthquake awaiting for us that will happen in Istanbul that will likely result in society here collapsing. Yeah thats about all i gotta say. God, i never thought i would be writing stuff in this sub.


r/SuicideWatch • • 1h ago

I tried to kill myself tonight

• Upvotes

Throwaway acc for obvious reasons

I (23M) have had a very pretty shit upbringing, and today i decided to end it all, i did everything right or so I thought, i took a lethal amount of zolpidem, ontop of that i downed a bottle of my favourite whiskey, then i went to sleep thinking i wouldn’t wake up, yet I threw it all up in my sleep? I don’t want pity I just want to know why did I throw it up in my sleep?


r/SuicideWatch • • 9h ago

It’s only getting worse from here

18 Upvotes

I’m in my 40s and my financial situation and my health just keep getting worse. I have almost no access to healthcare, and I can barely hold down a job anymore. I live in an 8X10 room and I still have to take out payday loans to pay my rent. My car is about to get towed because I can’t afford to renew the registration. I don’t know how much longer I can hang on. My situation keeps getting worse and it doesn’t seem like there’s anything I can do to make it better because it’s been getting steadily worse for the last 20 years. I tried to jump off a bridge a few months ago but someone interrupted me. I’m collecting all my leftover xanax, trazodone, clonidine and whatever else I can find and then I’ll scrape together the cash I have left to get some alcohol and then I’ll drive out to a remote location before they can take my car. I was trying to wait until my mom passed away because I know it would be really hard on her (several members of our family have committed suicide) but I don’t think I can hold on for that many years


r/SuicideWatch • • 4h ago

Found a lump in my armpit

7 Upvotes

I hope it's cancer 🙂 I'm not even going to worry about seeing a doctor.

Getting cancer would be the ultimate fuck you to my pitiful life.

I can't get a job. I can't get a gf. I can't make friends because most other guys see me as a weakling. And to top it off I'm living with a disability that was cause by another person's malpractice. 🫠

Fuck this world! Fuck this life! I hate it here. Part of me is actually glad that most parts of the world is gradually getting worse. The only people I will ever feel sorry for are the people who are forced to live life on impossible difficulty.


r/SuicideWatch • • 1h ago

The world is better off without me in it

• Upvotes

As the title says


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I feel so alone, lonely and confused.

4 Upvotes

I can’t do this anymore (16F) I’m just done. I don’t know what to do. My bf of a year left me and I found out everything he told me was a lie. I found out I was pregnant. I told everyone I miscarried but that’s not true. He blocked me on everything and he still has my things. I don’t know what to do and I’m just so frustrated and lost. I have no one on my side or even willing to help. Everything I tell anyone gets told to someone else and then everyone knows. I can’t live like this and I can’t get out. Oh! And my mom wants to get the police involved to get my stuff back but it’s less about my stuff and more about getting back at him. I know where he lives but he’s down at college which is an hour away now. I want to die.


r/SuicideWatch • • 9h ago

I've committed the worst crimes any person can. I've hurt children, I've hurt women, literally why SHOULDN'T I end it? What purpose does the world have for me at this point??? NSFW

13 Upvotes

I can even fucking post the full thing here because it's just that horrific. Read this, if you want.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalillness/s/G7MRJKlNEy


r/SuicideWatch • • 5h ago

Fuck Life

6 Upvotes

I ain’t sign up for none of this. Not before and especially not after I nearly died by suicide at 18. Turning 24 in a month and still trapped in a hell that’s only worsening by the day. Fuck this fucking society. Fuck the heartless scum running it. And fuck the people who brought me here without my consent. Unprepared as fuck having to learn shit on my own. All the lies fed to me exposed through trauma. No one gives a damn. My own family loathes me. Mother abused me to this day. Only person to care enough is my father. He too deserves better than being alive in hell. Same goes for the 1% of humans in my life who I genuinely care about. They know who they are. The rest can fucking incinerate on this hellish planet. They destroyed me. What in the hell am I still doing here? Pursuing a new life that may not even exist. I ain’t even plan to live past the age of 30. Fucking pissed how I wasted 14 years sentenced to an emotional prison that teach you how much humans are fucking demons. The crime committed for me to deserve it was my existence. I never asked for it and yet I am still somehow guilty. Ain’t no future for humanity. We’re fucked. It’s unfortunate that I gotta spend the rest of my days haunted by anxiety. Why can’t I be happy? Why have I sacrificed my sanity in order to obtain it? I fucking still don’t have it. I’m fucking done. The pain ends with our inevitable death


r/SuicideWatch • • 3h ago

I’m giving up

4 Upvotes

(20 f) I moved to uni in a kinda last hope way but i’m doing just as bad as i did at home. i hate my course and i hate being away from home and even if i stick it out it doesn’t mean i will get a job in the industry. if i go home yes i will be closer to my boyfriend but i will still be as suicidal as i am now because there’s nothing else i want to do with my life.
my depression always comes back, even if it takes months or years to get bad it always comes back.
i dont want to work a shit job for the rest of my life and that be it.
my bf will move on eventually if i die as we’re both young but id be worried about my mum but also if im gone i guess i would be thinking about it at all.
i haven’t done anything yet but im almost certain i will, this is kind of a last hope message as i dont want it to be this way but i see no other option. i hate mental illness so much


r/SuicideWatch • • 1h ago

What the fuck do I do anymore?

• Upvotes

I(13f) know it’s a little young to be on here and I apologize I’m probably gonna ramble on, and for context I do have depression and I have contact and I do have high functioning autism or at least I’m suspected to. I’m taking the test in like three years. I don’t even putting this in but I don’t want you to think I’m a psychopath though I might be a sociopath or have some antisocial tendencies or whatever so but I really don’t know what to do with my life anymore. It just feels so freaking like I do matters of the things I enjoyment or excitement none of the people around me give me I’ve done everything. Everyone asked me for I stop self harm. I haven’t made a suicide attempt in weeks. I went to a therapist. I started taking medication. I’m making friends but I feel like the loneliest I’ve ever been I miss my toxic friends. I wish when I was more depressed cause at least I wouldn’t feel as empty. I miss when my family would still be slightly abusive and rude to me and not understand my at least they don’t treat me like some broken object that they need to fix and when they do that, I’ll become some perfect child and bright eyed kid not someone actually struggling right in front of so just a lot. They’re your average conservative Indian parents. The only reason they actually freaking know right now instead of noticing the scars on my arm is because of that one time I took a pizza cutter in my throat, cause I couldn’t take it anymore I’m not really close to anyone since I have an estranged relationship like a one-sided one with my family and siblings of other issues of the things I just mentioned I was heavily bullied and then when I got to was like dropping a fish on land I’ve been so I just kind of adapted to getting really badly bullied an example of something that they used to do when I got bullied is they would hit me with their shoes one time they would follow me and I had to hide myself in the bathroom and they picked the lock. They would put bird seeds in my lake, backpack, and like other things that you feed the crows and crows would attack me and I still have a scar in my shoulder blade. But now it’s just I don’t even know what to do anymore. I have everything I need. I have a healthy family. I have a good loving sibling and I have nice friends and everything I wanted since I was younger my mom cares like how I wanted her to care but it’s just so strange now I feel so empty and disgusting. I’ve never been wanted to like associate myself with low self-esteem issues but recently I don’t know if it’s just the medicine I’ve recently started taking or what but I feel so disgusting with myself and like the only way out of suicide, I have goals and people I’m trying to stand out for which is why I’ve been here for. it’s why I’ve been even sticking around, but I can’t even try and achieve them every single day just feels like it’s a struggle to get through the day it’s hard to pay attention in class. Everything just together. I can’t remember names or faces anymore unless I really I want to get out of school. I can’t even do anything except to music and maybe read horrible trashy romance stories, but that’s not even bring me a excitement anymore. I really have nothing left whenever I try to do anything it’s just I do it. It’s makes me cry. I can’t eat anymore. I can’t even take care of my hygiene anymore. I bedrock for I’m unbelievably horny all the time and it makes me feel like the most disgusting person on earth. What even is live for honestly AI is probably take over my job. Anything I wanna do and get wasted I just I I don’t even have a future to look for that’s secure. I don’t know if I won’t die in three years, why not just get it over with I really just need some help pills don’t work therapy doesn’t work. I can’t talk to I’ve set up high. It’s just impossible to get over them . Can someone tell me some die if if no other way, I don’t wanna live, but I don’t wanna die either. I feel like dying pathetic but here I am to be honest I think if someone just loved me enough my disgusting self I would try my darn hardest, but no one will simply because of my . After all no one will love myself if I can’t fix myself, but I can’t even fix myself so maybe even that wouldn’t help if it’s just my fate to die anyways and die of pain for embarrassing disgusting massive life. I tried suicide attempts even if they were a little half hearted. I’ve tried to drown myself. I’ve tried to overdose. I’ve tried to stab myself with a knife in the throat, but I just feel so pathetic afterwards is my only escape. Can someone at least recommend me painless ways to dieCan I just get it over with now? I hate everyone and everything or at least I wish I could feel nothing for them. There may be moments where I feel a little bit better but is that really enough to overcome the pain? Ifeel every single second I’m on this earth I can’t even be at peace in my dreams. I stay up until God knows what times I don’t get sleep. I don’t honestly I’d rather self-destruct at this point I’m so sorry for my ramble. Thank you for reading so much.


r/SuicideWatch • • 6h ago

I wrote my note

7 Upvotes

I’m afraid that people will blame themselves when I leave. Suicide feels so selfish but is staying alive more selfish when you feel like all you do is hold other people’s happiness hostage?


r/SuicideWatch • • 4h ago

Thinking about committing is the only thing that gives me relief

5 Upvotes

I'm not even sure I want to do it but I feel like I have no other choice. I'm so dissociated I barely even register what's in front of me and I have no plans to do therapy bc of a traumatic experience I had w a past therapist. I feel so lifeless and anhedonic it's like my soul has already died and it's just waiting for my body to catch up with it. Truly nobody cares but I don't expect them to. I understand how insignificant I am and I'm okay with it. I will feel bad about traumatizing my family but if I'm being honest they haven't ever treated me like they want me to stay alive. I have absolutely nothing left. I'm not planning on doing it soon, but probably within the next year. I just don't care at all. I don't want to work, I don't want to take care of myself, I don't want to maintain relationships. I think I'm just incompatible with life tbh, and I'm okay with that. I don't think anyone should be forced to be alive who doesn't want to be. I think I have actually survived a lot longer than I thought I would. It's just been horrible thing after horrible thing since I was born. Nonstop fucking trauma. It's absolutely ridiculous to think everyone can survive the stuff life throws at them. People have limits.


r/SuicideWatch • • 14h ago

I'm considering suicide (please be kind)

30 Upvotes

I'm 41 (F), I have been struggling professionally since I left my previous job. I had a burn out, and alcoholic, and was on medical leave for 10 months. I've got sober during my medical leave but at the same time I started battling with a multi billion dollar company for their civil responsibility for my rape from 6 to 7 years old by more than one employee of their company, in their facilities. I'm single, no kids, no job, no money, and with a very weak mental health, and at the same time fighting this huge legal battle. I can't take this and all the other battles in life. My psychiatrist is drugging me heavily to sleep to avoid my nightmares. I have nightmares of doors that lead to dark rooms and there are monsters inside, if I enter they get on top of my body and completely consume me, it's horrible. I can't stand it anymore, the nightmares, the memories, the pain, the pills, the poverty I'm dealing with because of not having a job/income/security. The pain is turning to be physical - my chest hurts, my head hurts. I have 4k in my bank account and will loose my home. Hell is on earth, I have no doubt of that, I know it since I'm 6 years old.


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I will finally mean something

3 Upvotes

I am so tired of this miserable reality I live in. I already accepted it from a young age that I wasn’t going to live a full normal life. I can’t bring myself to ever stop it though. I can’t bear my mother or sister seeing me like that. Along with my girlfriend has already had go through it with some of her family. I cant ever be that selfish person to do that to them. At the same time I can’t tolerate this meaningless life much longer. My plan is that since Im still a young male with (believe it or not, exceptional firearm skills and experience,) somewhere in this fucked up world could use me for a good cause and I would probably eventually soon leave this world with a meaning. Without having to traumatize my loved ones. I figured I’d also be helping people in need in the process, as I end my own suffering.