Am I crazy for considering swapping my 10-min commute to a 45-min commute to work.

Current job is swing shift and 92k a year. 4 weeks vacation. Current management is making it more stressful than what it needs to be. Moral is low and it’s really declining quickly.

New job would be straight days at $42.30 an hour. Overtime opportunities and quarterly bonuses. It’s a small terminal on the river that really just loads trucks all day. Seems like a really sweet gig to be honest. Only 5-6 employees but everyone just seemed happy.

So theoretically pay should go up with OT opportunities. 401k is very similar, but one perk is that the new company will let you roll OT pay straight into the 401k. Which I also may have misheard them.

I’m not too keen on adding 30-35 mins into my daily commute. Which instead of traveling 3-4 days a week it would turn into 5. But at the same time this job seems like it’s too good to be true.

Just got the prescription today. Went to pick it up and was denied at the pharmacy, they told me I have to fill out an official form from the government stating I went over all the potential risks with my doctor (I'm in France).

It seemed like a mild medication but that turned me to look further into it and everything I've seen online, especially on reddit, has been all doom and gloom.

Just wondering if anyone is taking it with 0 side effects and if those stories I'm seeing about people being depressed for years afterward are completely overblown. I don't have much hair recession anyway so it's not a huge deal to me if I have to avoid.

I'm 31, i'm married, I work a relatively easy, low stress, very flexible, middling pay, office job. I've never really liked my work from pretty much right after i started at 18, but it pays the bills and nowadays it's very cushy too. That leaves me with a very unfulfilling work life though, which i suppose is fair enough, not everyone can be a secret agent.

I feel like the obvious answer to my question of "how do i feel more fulfilled, less stagnant, and less bored" is to fill my non work time with something that ticks those boxes, but so far i've completely failed at doing so. I've tried some social outdoorsy hobbies like sailing & watersports (which i do like & enjoy, but it's come nowhere close to scratching my itch) I've on multiple occasions tried to start some kind of project, be it business or creative, but i find that i always hit a point where all enjoyment for it leaves me and i start to loathe it (again not really scratching my itch).

I suppose if i have kids some time soon that changes things a lot, but i still think i need this other satisfaction in my life too, at least right now

I feel like i'm craving novelty, excitement just something that makes me remember i'm alive and stops time being such a blur. I'm very cognisant of how precious this time is and i feel like i'm squandering it.

I don't really know what to do.. I don't want to blow my life up because i do want to have a stable family life in the near future, but i also feel i'll be seriously miserable if i keep treading water like this.

Any advice would be appreciated, Cheers!

I know humans are social animals and we need to interact with other humans to be happy, or that's what some would say.

I have noticed that from late fall to winter, I start feeling lonely (I am single), and I wonder why. Yes, less sun and vitamin D do contribute to it. However, I am more interested in the psychological aspect. I am not an unhappy person; I am satisfied with my job and my life, and I have good friends.

I guess what I am hoping for is to hear other men's stories about how they managed to defeat this feeling, because it seems very irrational to me. I have no reason to feel this miserable. There are men who live in complete isolation for weeks and they seem to be fine. Can one learn that skill? Become more independent socially and emotionally, more introverted if you will?

That's probably one of the traits I have been wanting to have for a while - to be alone and completely satisfied and happy about it, not needing companionship.

Late 30s, been helping out with wrestling now that my son is starting. I wrestled growing up and am a bjj black belt.

Wrestling the really athletic kids is tough when we're on our feet, but a little grit seems to make them lose confidence quickly. I swear some would beat me if they believed in themselves a bit. It's literally impossible to keep up with their pace, but i really don't have to.

Once we are down to the mats, i have way too much experience and can slow them down to my pace. It becomes pretty easy most of the time, i end up pulling off some absolute BS in their eyes. I'm starting to understand when my coaches were my current age and they would tell me i should have just held on or pushed a little longer.

You can feel their confidence waiver.

I feel like everyday I’m getting hairier. I’ve noticed more hair on my back although it was super smooth a few years ago

I’m 38. Never married. No kids. Accepted that it won’t happen for me. I have a good job so there’s that. Ive read articles in the press where the body of someone was found in an appartment and the guy had no one. No one knew he was dead for two weeks until his neighbours called the council cause they couldn’t bear the smell of his decaying body. I’ve known since I was 17 that I’ll end up like this. So I just want to be prepared and put all my affairs in order etc.

I am 28m and yeah, life is pointless for me. I generally feel okay, even right now when I am writing this I do not feel anything negative or positive. I work, I found new hobbies and socialize with people, but still life has no meaning. Maybe someone may give me an advice here.

Something I've noticed in a lot of people, is that generally people become calmer and a bit wiser over time. I know that old people can have a lot of ignorant opinions when it comes to certain topics, but I mean that generally people seem to be less on an emotional rollercoaster as time goes on.

For the people who do therapy or find some kind of philosophy that helps them deal with life, then of course they will improve dramatically. But I think even among average people, they pick up little tips and tricks that make the day go easier.

I remember working with this guy that looked like Ron Jeremy when I worked as an oxygen delivery guy. He was sometimes super angry, but he said to me once "you know, I used to get mad at every little thing, but now I just laugh at it". I bet he was an even angrier and more unstable person when he was younger, but found this little trick that made life go 5% smoother.

I also look at my sibling and my dad and one of my uncles, and all of us seem to have gotten a bit more content and relaxed as we get older. It seems like all of us had more of an "edge" when we were younger that has been softened.

This thought came about because I recently started a job downtown. Last time I worked downtown was 4 years ago (I'm 34 now), and I was generally okay then, but I realized that I'm a lot happier and more relaxed than I used to be. Probably for a lot of reasons: a meditation practice, reading a lot, have some good close friends, etc.

And of course the opposite happens to some people, they just get stuck in a downward spiral and become even more disorganized and unhappy as time goes on. Which is a sad state to be in.

Looking to better understand how others manage finances with their long time partner whether it be separately, together, or a blend of the two.

Just turned 34 in August. And I’m stuck in this mind, gymnastics of either throwing my money towards what I want to do, versus paying off debt. I just recently landed the most highest paid job I’ve ever had a month ago, I’m a welder so I work long hours and work seven days every other week, so I don’t see motion don’t have time to do hardly anything.

But to cut to the chase, I’m one of those guys that drunk and wasted all my 20s away and finally didn’t cut the drinking and bs and get my shi together until just last year. I have a car that I owe 15,000 on and 33,000 in student loans. I can pay both of these off within one year but that will only leave me with only $30,000 left total to pay bills and basically live, which is doable because my total expenses comes out to 2300 a month and we’re talking food, Gas, rent, car Insurance the whole 9 yards. But if I were to put this strategy off and throw my money towards investing and saving invest instead, I’d find myself paying off student loans and a vehicle loan well off into my late 30s something I’m not trying to do. but I don’t wanna work a whole Nother year just to do absolutely nothing to pay off debt let alone working 6 to 7 days a week is already depressing as it is. I’ve been hunkering down and living like a rinse and repeat guy since I got sober last year and it’s really depressing.

Or do I do what the old folks say pull myself up by the boot straps, take accountability for drinking and messing around, and hunker down for another couple more years until I get it right??

With that being said All the Welding and long hours of work is catching up to me. So it’s like my margin for error is becoming small, and in say this become I’m definitely not trying to do any of this kind of work by the time I reached the age of 40. I’m definitely looking to either switch into more of an administrative or corporate position in my field.

Looking for inspiration as I set my 2027 goals and finish out 2026, what are your goals for the year ahead?

I went to a lake area to a lake area today. There is a large and beautiful old oak in the area. Today there was a group of young pre-school? children there. All around that one beautiful oak.

I am a middle aged man carrying a lot of camera equipment. So the teachers kept staring at me like hawks. And I wasn't able to get the shoots that I wanted. If it was adults I could just tell them that there is no privacy in public. But I do not want people to think that I record or take pictures of children.

How do you handle spaces with a lot of children around?

Things are tough with work, money, and relationships right now. I think the next year will have pivotal life choices.

What I mean is some advice you wish you had when you were younger that could greatly help other young people.

i recently posted asking what the general thoughts about going grey are, linked below. but i wanted to ask why people are so against dying their hair grey? there were so many strong opinions. is the process intimidating? is it too much work? is it too expensive? do you know how to do it if you wanted to do? or is it another reason

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Every morning when I wake up, I’m hard. if I’m on my stomach already or I either roll on to my stomach… and I’m still half asleep, I start to grind on or hump my penis into the bed. Sometimes it’s just a few pumps and I’m done and start my day. Sometimes it lasts an hour or so as I wake/sleep/wake and slowly rise up for the day. Im wondering how common this is and if other guys do it a lot. I don’t go on a full on session and ejaculate or anything, (if that happens I would probably roll over and just jerk off like normal) but it usually lasts while I’m still tossing and turning and still half asleep but slightly awake. It just feels really fucking good. It stimulates my boner and hits the right spot. Feel like I’ve been doing it my whole life. Can’t remember a time when I didn’t.

I’m slightly embarrassed by it, but I guess I shouldn’t be ashamed. And waking up aroused means you’re healthy right? I just feel this urge right away in the morning.
I can’t be the only one who does this nearly every morning. Do other men do it too? Do you? Weigh in guys…

Hey guys.

I was recently offered a position at the US plant of the company I currently work for.
The company is planning to sponsor my work visa, with the possibility of eventually obtaining a green card.

However, there's something that's been weighing heavily on my mind.

I currently live with my parents, and we're already living outside our home country. Although they don't have too much trouble with the language, they still rely on me for certain things, such as calling the bank, filing claims, dealing with paperwork, and handling other everyday matters.

They're also getting older, and after years of fighting, arguing, and having our differences, we've finally grown closer a few years ago. That's one of the reasons why the thought of leaving them makes me feel so guilty.

In my culture, there's a strong expectation that the eldest son should take responsibility for looking after the family. As the eldest son, I feel that responsibility pretty deeply.

My parents have been thinking about moving back to our home country, but they haven't decided when or even if they'll actually do it.

On one hand, moving to the U.S. would be a great opportunity for my career and future.
On the other hand, I can't help but feel like I'd be abandoning my parents, especially now that we're finally building a better relationship.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you deal with the guilt of moving away from your aging parents to pursue your own future?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing your perspectives and experiences.

Thanks in advance!

Pretty much the title, how differently would you have lived your teenage years and 20s when you reflect back on it whilst being in your 30s

hey, Ive been having coffee before the gym and it helps, but I'm wondering if I'm overdoing it. Some days it's coffee in the morning, then a pre workout in the afternoon, and another energy drink if I'm dragging

Is caffeine before a workout actually good for you or is it just making me feel like I'm working harder? Also are pre workouts any different from just drinking coffee?

Not trying to cut it completely, just want to know what's a reasonable amount. thanks.

For months now, I’ve had a mild dull ache at the top of my R testicle and inguinal groin area, about 3-4” diagonal down from belly button on same side. Dr wanted to check for a hernia. Got a scrotum and groin ultrasound that was negative for any pathology on both assessments except for a bilateral mild hydrocele. I don’t really think it’s that, my balls are normal sized, no swelling at all, not tender to touch, and bilateral might mean pain on the other side as well.

It’s reassuring to rule out the scary stuff but the ache remains. No idea what to do now other than an MRI I guess? I do have a same side lower back dull ache around the belt line or SI joint area 2-3” off center as well. Maybe a disc issue but would that radiant to my ball too?

Every tutorials on how to assert yourself seems to assume the other party is at least somewhat receptive to reason and empathy.

Does anybody have any advice on how you assert yourself around people who could very well physically hurt for doing so? I’m thinking of criminals, gang members or domestic abusers. I can’t imagine a dangerous drug dealer appreciating that his own needs are being seen and heard in a dispute.

EDIT: My earlier post referenced being approached by a gang trying to steal your phone. This was just an example and I’m not looking for specific advice on that particular, unique situation. Just more general advice for dealing with similar types of people. I’ve seen non intimidating people do it, so it’s possible. I’d like to know what they are.

I'm 28. A few months ago I was extremely social, meeting new people, going on dates, saying yes to everything. Now I just don't have the mental energy for any of it. I'd rather do my research, work out, cook and play video games.

What gets to me most is feeling obligated to spend hours every day with people, and I feel like I'll lose my mind if one more person asks why I didn't call back. Meeting new people or going on dates just sounds exhausting right now.

I'm also graduating and moving in less than a year, so part of me doesn't see the point of starting new friendships or dating. Not sure if that's practical or if I'm just making excuses.

Has anyone gone through something like this? What was going on with you, and how did you deal with people expecting more of your time?