all i can do is relapse over and over again, i hate my life so much, i cant tell anyone because i know theyre just gonna call me a slut or whore i hate my body so much i fucking hate everything even if i told someone ei know theyre gonna say “well he was a child” fuck him so bad i hope he gets the same treatment at night one day it s all his fault i havent gone to shcool in over a year i havent gone outside e in one year i hate everyothing so much i hate everything im so miserable

My mom saw my scars and fresh cuts and started screaming at me. This isn’t the first time she’s seen them but ig the new ones made her mad? She started saying how I don’t deserve to dye my hair or buy these shoes I’ve wanted and how I have a great life, which I do but that’s not how it works. She said that when I was younger she protected me from getting hurt and now that I’m sh-ing she said she should’ve just cut me and hurt me when I was younger because it “wouldn’t matter now”. She’s barely spoken to me and it’s been over a day. And when she does speak to me she’s yelling and telling me to do something. I don’t know what to do please help

I began cutting on my breasts about two weeks ago, and i want to tell someone. (I know that its dangerous to cut there, but i always have bandages and gauze and those steri strip things with me just in case)

My friends all do or did. They wouldn't try to make it a competition, as far as I know, but I still don't know what to say.

They think that I'm "uncorrupted". I think one of them almost suspected that I did, but I'm not sure.

I am trying to better myself, but it's hard. I hate that my body is wrong. I hate that I was born female. I don't want to commit, I just want my body to not be the way it is.

Sorry if any of this is upsetting, I'm just looking for advice.

I feel stuck rn. Do i put some bandages?

Im so stupid i didnt think about my job at all i was too much overwhelmed

main focus/theme of overdose here. Kind of obvious but just like, tread lightly dude.

3 months ago (3 months! wow) I overdosed. well, I overdosed before that but I think this one was part of a big change in my life. the day right after, the pills I had been using were taken, my knife was taken, everything. I was basically monitored. it wasn’t even an attempt and I had everything taken.

I believe it is the psychological impact of this AIDED by the fact I was overdosing basically every month that had made me how I am now.

i am not myself. my life is split in two parts, the before and the after. I cannot act how I used to. I keep forgetting words, phrases I used to say (which used to be a very large portion of how I communicated in my own little circles.). before this, I would have episodes of depression MIXED with whatever the opposite is. the highs the lows, the tides of life, the thing that makes it go is not coming back.

it’s just. nothing.

and more things are happening aswell!!! my brain and body fails my time and time again where it used to be just fine!!! I drop things, I stumble and cannot process things some days.

i regret it. I regret it so so so much. and if it’s bad for me now, just with this mild change, i can say for sure that if any of you take pills to harm yourself, you will regret it. mark my words. i got off easy, and it could be so much worse, and I am miserable. don’t do it!

you cannot clean a pill bottle. you cannot control the damage here.

do not do it.

i just don’t know how to do this. nobody knows. I cannot tell anybody I know either so, here i am.

I noticed that my younger brother drew a scar on his wrist. I don’t know if I should take this as a warning sign and how I would address it? Ive struggled with self harm myself for years now but no one in my family knows to my knowledge. I can’t help but feel guilty in a way. He wears long sleeves and pants almost every day even though it causes him to overheat, though I have not seen any visible scars or cuts. I know he struggles with his self esteem.

Hey I just wanted to bring up a feeling I've had from seeing people online who don't have any SH scars on their body or at least not visible ones. I'm really envious of seeing smooth skin without scars and it sucks. I can't change the way I need self harm, that's a behaviour I've had on and off for 15 years, but it is a lifelong regret. Anytime I see someone who doesn't have scars where I do it hits deep. I'm sure others on here feel this way right?

Is this a place someone can come to prevent self-harm? 988 never helps and I just bared myself on the CPTSD subreddit asking for a hug and already got like 60+ views but everyone has ignored it and it’s really triggering me. I wish I could go and get an ice cold drink but my car is undriveable.

I can't take it anymore. I want to do it again. No I don't have "such" 🪦 thoughts. Never did. But I want to h u r t myself at the moment. A really strong urge.

I'm having imaginations. I want to act upon them like before. I can't take it anymore. All this anger, sadness, confusion. Anger. It's all overwhelming. I want to break something into pieces again.

I really want to h u r t myself and I might as well do it tonight. I'll be fine tomorrow and take care of it. I just want to let it out. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

My arm. Till it bl££ds. Stings and burns. Painful.

It's frustrating that I couldn't cut deeper, talked about my selfharm to a friend who also cut deep themself, and they called me out for faking, and pretending to be mentally ill just because they know I couldn't cut any deeper and my sh are just cat scratches🫩🫩 I dgaf about them atp

Last post got taken down bec of me being stupid sordy gang but genuinely how much trouble would i get in if caught cutting at school🤞 its genuinely the only thing really keeping me from crashing out at school but god im scared of getibg caught, idk if they can send me to a. Ward or smt since i am 18 so

Dont have anywhere else to go

Ill be like it cant be that bad but then get triggered so bad i wanna relapse already. I also cant help but get triggered by scars. I know thats on me but still

M31 asking how to stop those overwhelming urges to self-harm (cutting)? Any advice?

What helped you stop cutting or self-harming even if it does not work 100% of the time? Have you been able to completely stop? Any advice? Was it self-help book? Therapy? Family? Friends? Internet? Any other thing? I am M31.

does anyone know how to get blood stains out of clothes.. this is the first time it happened to me and it’s a lot and I really don’t want my mom to know.. can I just wash it would that get it out? pls help !!!

I want to die, but I don’t want to kill myself. I’m lost, hopeless and scared. I’m weak and I might be a bad person. I can’t die or disappear, I have a son who I love more than myself. I’m terrified. I’m tired. I’m a mess. My son deserves the best but what if I lose all my strength? His father has the power and he’s not afraid to use it against me. I’m not strong enough. I just want to disappear.

i just want a romantic relationship so bad. i want someone to cuddle with at night and talk to about my urges and someone to hold me and kiss me until i feel better that’s all i want that’s all I’ve bee wanting lately. my life is so bleak and i don’t want to live through this. i feel like if i had someone i’d feel better and id feel so much less alone. its all i think about, i just want to be happy but how can i be happy when my life is so fucking bleak?how can i be happy when i don’t even have the motivation or energy to do my favorite things anymore? i don’t go out, i dont know how to date, im not in college, idk what to do with my life. i have a shitty part time job and I spend my days in bed cutting and crying and looking at smut and stupid angst fanfiction and hating myself because im just so pathetic. all the people i do meet im too shy and scared or i just don’t feel anything for real people because i feel like im doing something irreversible. i feel like this will never end, my life will always be like this. the only time i ever actually felt that crush feeling for a real person was when i talked to my internet friend online and we had really heartfelt conversations with each other i want to feel like that again so badly but i don’t know how, I don’t know where to find it. im just so tired of feeling so lonely, im tired of being asexual or whatever i am, I hate this so much

Talk to me if you need help. Ive been there and done that.

cuz like at night time thats when i feel the worst so cutting myself before i go to bed is like the only thing that quietens down my thoughts so im actually able to sleep. please tell me this is relatable guys

Afortunadamente no he llegado a ese punto pero me preocupa el hecho de que pareciera que estoy cerca de eso y no sé si sea necesario tener que ir a urgencias para que me cierren las heridas porque no quiero tener que decirle a mis padres hasta donde llegué. Ustedes sí o sí van a urgencias o se puede curar solo?

TL;DR: I'm gonna be doing a documentation of my daily urges, today's day one!

Hey, so I know this place specializes in humor, but I've always thought it would be helpful to be able to read through somebody's brain regarding self-harm urges. Since I've never really seen anything like it, I'm going to provide that myself for the rest of you! For the next month, I'm going to do my best to post once a day, just giving a journal of my day with special emphasis on my urges. I'll do my best to reply to comments, but if there end up being a ton, it might not happen (this probably won't get more than a handful of upvotes and comments; I'm a terrible writer). Today's gonna be a long AF background with my day's summary. Also, there'll be a lot of backtracking and restating and stuff because I've got ADHD and it's how my brain works, and that's the entire point of this. So here goes nothing (if you really want to, you can skip the background, but it's helpful in understanding where I'm coming from):

BACKGROUND

3 or 4 years ago, I got abused online, on Reddit actually, and when that ended, I cut for the first time, but only a few days before I got caught (I've never been good at hiding it, my parents found out after 2 or 3 days). I also never did more than surface level on my arms. That was the first time i cut. A few months ago, I did something really bad to somebody I love more than myself (low bar, but I love him more than anything else in the world), and we had to be separated. During that time, I took up cutting again, same exact way (cat scratches on my arm). I did it for about a week and a half before I went home. 3-4 weeks after I initially relapsed, my parents found out again (I stopped cutting because I lost access to the blade and found it really tough to do it back home). All that was February-March-April-ish, I'm not quite sure how long. I was severely depressed during that time (unofficially, I won't claim a diagnosis I don't have), plus I have ADHD, so time blindness was rough (i still remember the date i hurt the person tho, Jan 26), and now, I'm in college and I'm failing 3 classes and my parents and I are both worried I'm going to fail. The only thing I've ever had going for me has been that I'm super smart (not bragging, I'm genuinely really smart), so I was fortunate enough to get a full ride to an amazing college near me. However, it being an academic scholarship, it's got stringent requirements, and being failing, I might lose it at the end of the semester. Sorry I'm writing this way, it's probably really confusing! I also did online high school for my sophomore through senior years, so it's a big change going back to in-person school.

TODAY

So, it's been a lot of drama with my parents lately. Between waking up late, missing assignments, and other random stuff, my parents and I have a miserable relationship. Today, I was gonna go to go to Walmart and get a piece of comfort clothing I've been really excited to eventually get, but it's something my parents definitely wouldn't approve of. So, since my shower flip flops died, I was gonna take some cash, get the thing, and buy the flip flops with the card and say that's why I went. However, even though my class didn't start until the afternoon and it was the early morning, when I called my mom to ask (they track me with Life360 so I can't just go for no reason; they'll ask why I went and make me send a pic of the receipt, hence the cash), she yelled at me and told me that I had to study or I was going to fail. So we got into an argument, because I had plenty of time to go and really wanted to, but we fought for a while and she was talking about how my bad sleep and general irresponsibility is causing everybody in the family to have a breakdown because they have to fix everything for me (which they do), and I got really close to cutting, I almost did it. I keep catching myself trying to defend her (my mom), btw, because it is my fault and I don't want to lie, but trying to defend her feels like it doesn't belong in a vent/journal. I talked on Discord for a while with some randoms and found myself feeling up, but later in the day, I had advisor meetings and stuff, and my parents called me after and we kinda just fell back into fighting. So yeah, the urges are creeping in again, not as strong, but building. So, yeah, comment if you want, or do whatever I guess.

i feel that wave of sadness coming again noooooooo

I'm currently visiting my grandparents and they're being complete bitches about my mental health.
I do have some wounds which aren't completely healed yet and they where very pushy about making me talk. I told them multiple times that I don't want to talk to them about that but they have a hard time accepting.
The new husband of my grandma then told me that my sh almost looks like art, but in a very unfriendly way.
Both of them also think being mentally ill is just "being sad sometimes" which makes it a hard time for all of us. I don't have the energy to explain to them that its more than being a little sad sometimes and all they use to inform themselves is AI.

I'm really happy that'll i'll drive back home tomorrow, but it's so hard to just keep happy, stay the way they want me to be, it's just all completely fucked up, i genuinely have no idea what i even could do with this situation now.

Well our conversation ended in them verbally cornering me, and then being mad at me that i have feeling's, and i did split and end in a fight or flight panic mode that made me run away.

Now they see me in the light of an unthankful grandchild, that no one ever can understand. Also they say it's all my fault for not talking to them, cause if i'd talk they would understand

Don't get me wrong i tried talking but they weren't listening.

i just looked down at some of the cuts on my thighs, and there’s some darkish purple dots surrounding two intersecting ones and kind of spreading around. is this cause for concern, and should i see a doctor about this?