I had a couple of listings up on Facebook Marketplace for collections of art and craft supplies. About five weeks ago, a young woman reached out to ask about one of them. She told me that a close family member had just died and she wanted to make some memorial pieces for herself and her family, as well as starting a home business to help with the payment plan for funeral and cremation costs. She said that she knew this was going to sound crazy, but would I be willing to let her have the supplies for free, or trade for some of her own art supplies?
I thought about it. This stuff had been listed for a long time and no one had shown any interest; I had pretty much decided to take down the listings and sell things individually on Etsy instead, but had been lazy about it. I looked closely at her profile and what little I could find online under her name. I told her I'd get back to her, then spent part of an evening going through what I had. Finally, I decided that it wouldn't be a big deal to give her the raw materials and a few tools that I had, a variety of embellishments, and a handful of other supplies that were directly relevant to what she wanted to make. The stuff I'd spent actual money on would stay with me to be sold. What I set aside for her was enough to loosely fill a 12"x12"x12" box. I decided not to ask for anything in exchange as it was clear that she was in a difficult situation. Besides, I'm trying to destash, not add to my small hoard.
When I told her what I had for her, she was very thankful. Then she offered to make a small digital art piece for me in exchange. She sent me some screenshots from her art account on Instagram, which I immediately looked up. I'd seen one of the pieces posted there on her Facebook when I first looked it over, and when I went back to double check, I saw that the posting dates matched. I liked her work and loved the idea of an art trade. We talked about what she could do and what I wanted, I sent some reference photos that she requested, and we were both excited about the whole thing. Or at least that's how it seemed.
For the next month, this woman repeatedly made arrangements to pick up the supplies and no-showed. She lived a couple of hours away and had to borrow a relative's car, so I tried to be understanding. It wasn't a huge deal because I work from home, but it got to be pretty annoying when I postponed important errands because she said she was coming and then ghosted me, not even answering messages for days. After the second time this happened, I googled her again and saw her family member's newly posted obituary, which mentioned her by name, so I knew she was telling the truth about that. I figured she was just busy with all the logistical challenges that can arise after a death. Regarding the art trade, she said twice that she was going to send a sketch for feedback and didn't. A couple of other times, she asked follow-up questions about certain details. I answered them, but didn't push her for a sketch because it seemed crass under the circumstances and she didn't have my supplies yet, anyway.
A little over a week ago, she said that she and her boyfriend were able to come in a few hours, if that was okay. I said yes, but wasn't really expecting her to show up. But she did! Or at least, I think she did. When they arrived, she said she was sending her boyfriend to the door and staying in the car with their dog. I handed off the box to him. He was extremely polite and thankful, saying that this was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her and her family were excited about it. I sent her a message with a couple of additional notes about what was in the box, and she replied, thanking me and saying that she had worked hard on the art piece and would send it when she got home. About 20 minutes later, she sent another message in which she again thanked me profusely and talked about what a difficult time she'd been having and how much this was going to help her. I responded supportively.
I waited a few hours, knowing how far away she lived. The art piece didn't arrive. I thought that maybe she had gone to bed and would send it the next day. Nothing. I waited a few days and messaged her again to wish her family well and reiterate how excited I was to see the art, but she never replied. It has now been a week since I sent that last message.
I can't say that it was a total scam because she was honest about her situation, but she obviously never intended to make any art for me. I'm not hugely upset because again, I never asked her for anything in exchange for the art supplies, I was trying to get rid of them anyway, and nothing that I gave her was expensive or hard to replace. All together, it wouldn't have been cheap by any means, but no one item was all that pricey. I will certainly get more money for the remaining items than I would have for what I gave her. That's why this is only mildly infuriating.
Just...don't make an offer like that and lead someone on by asking for reference photos and making plans and design decisions and asking follow-up questions if you're not actually going to do it! I was legitimately excited to see what she was going to draw and now I feel stupid and a little used. This won't stop me from doing nice things for people in the future, but I'm sure I'll be quite a bit more cynical about any offers they may make to do anything in return.