Just some insane concept

I work in veterinary medicine in a pretty active area and I feel like I already fight to socialize/smile/be friendly and I just find it depressing when some clients make it known that they want to deal with other coworkers instead of you.
Like I’m already trying my best but it’s not enough.
Does anyone have similar scenarios or just me?

I know a lot of people feel the same way. But I just don't see the point in living such a life. I want to make it clear, I don't intend to have a family or get a partner. I feel that I have fallen down off the ladder & I know I still can bounce back but I just don't want to. Life seemed pointless even 10 years ago. This is just a continuation.

I never pursued my interest during my academics. I wasted so much time trying to go abroad but was rejected. So, now I really don't want to go abroad. But I also don't have the will to live in a third world country. I never had a job at 28. Nor do I feel qualified for any job or pursuing a business.

But these are just one side of the element. I know wherever we are, we all struggle. In general, we are here to struggle & keep fighting for our belongings. & I'm tired of this fight. I just want to sleep permanently. That's it.

Something I keep noticing in threads here and elsewhere: the word introvert does two very different jobs.

Sometimes it's useful self-knowledge. It explains why a full day of meetings leaves you flat, why one long conversation beats five short ones, and it lets people stop apologising for needing quiet.

Other times it quietly turns into a rule. "I'm an introvert, so I don't do networking events." "I'm an introvert, so I don't speak up in meetings." At that point it's less a description and more a reason not to try something, even something you actually want.

In personality research introversion and extraversion are a scale, not two boxes. Most people land somewhere around the middle, and how social someone acts shifts a lot with the situation, how rested they are and who's in the room. That makes "I tend to" feel more accurate than "I am".

A few things that seem to keep it in the self-knowledge zone:

• Planning recovery time after social stuff instead of skipping the social stuff
• Picking the format that suits you (one on one, small groups, a written follow-up) rather than opting out completely
• Noticing when "I'm an introvert" is covering for nerves about one specific thing

Curious where people here draw the line. Has the label ever talked you out of something you later wished you'd done?

The only friends I had were from school, and they would get annoyed with me pretty quickly. There's something about my personality, I guess. It took me long enough to realise that. I do have friends in college, but they're not really close friends. Once I graduate, I'll probably never call them again. I had a best friend before, but I was never their best friend.

I also never really developed proper social skills, and I have no conversation skills or hobbies. I can't even chat with someone online without feeling exhausted. I've been talking to this one girl I met on Hinge for the last four days, and it feels so tiring and scary. She puts up with my shit for some reason, though. She usually sends two or three replies back too.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm scared of everything.

At work I'm chatty, I smile, I ask about your weekend, I laugh at the right moments. It works. People like me. But by the time I get home I can't even decide what to eat. The social battery isn't low, it's just gone. Flat zero. I don't know how to explain that the version of me you see at work takes all day to produce and leaves nothing for anyone else. How do you guys deal with all of this?

Hi there. I am 31f and struggling lately more than usually with anxiety about spending any time in social spaces, and I feel like it's affecting my friend life and professional life.

A bit of back story, I have put all my education, sweat and tears into my own tattoo shop. I can confidently say I'm doing great. Thing is - as a tattoo artist, I spend many hours talking with people I have never met before. And that kind of one-on-one conversations are not a problem for me. I have learned through my job to find a common conversation theme with literally anyone. This was also hard for me in the beginning since people drain my batteries but I found that just doing my art helps me to open up and talk with people.

I have always been introverted, but not at all anti-social. I love my 3 close friends and I enjoy connecting with new people, but only in a tiny group.

Here's the problem - I am absolutely terrified of any big group setting and its taking away from important things in my life. My friends like to go to coffee places, concerts, restaurants. So I either just avoid it and risk loosing the connection, or I go and experience immense social anxiety feeling so drained afterwards. I understand that I can't always be the one determining we will be hanging out in nature, I have to try to fit into what they like as well, that's friendship. But in the coffee place I feel so exposed and just sick to my stomach.

Another big thing is, I am going to a humanitarian tattoo convention in a month. I know this will be good for my studio and I really want to be a part of the culture more. But the thought of me spending 2 days in a crowded place with many other shops is just... I just can't even imagine it. I am seriously considering just not going, but I really want to. I feel like puking thinking about it but I really want to participate. It's for gathering fonds for cancer patients and that means a lot for me since I have lost a few loved ones to cancer. This is more than just a convention and I feel the need to be a part of it.

Does anyone have advice about how to deal with this? I don't want to miss out on professional opportunities and time with friends. I am a dreamer but all my dreams contain groups of people. Should I just accept that I am this way and just live a comfy hermit life doing my art and that's it? Like, does fighting it really help?

I just feel like it's not really normal (for lack of a better word) to dread a simple coffee shop this much. Am I the only one?

People say this like it's supposed to make me want to go out and experience everything. Travel, parties, friends, relationships, social events, whatever. But what if I just don't like any of it? I don't really have a bucket list. I don't sit around thinking about all the things I need to experience before I die. Most of the stuff people consider "living" just doesn't appeal to me.

I don't particularly want to go out, I don't want a big social circle, I don't want to spend my weekends making plans and I don't really care about having some amazing social life. Even at work, I'd rather keep to myself, do my job and get paid. Then I go home. That's basically it.

Maybe that sounds depressing to someone else, but I don't necessarily experience it that way. I'm not sitting there thinking about all the fun I'm missing. I just genuinely don't seem to want very much. Give me my own space, enough money to live comfortably and the freedom to be left alone and I'm good.

"You only live once" just doesn't have the effect people think it does on me. If anything, I'm glad there's no expectation that I have to do all this again.

Lately I've realised that I don't have problem in initiating convos with strangers. I apparently come across as confident and outgoing to them. The problem comes when I am supposed to delve deeper from the superficial interaction that I just had (one could say, from an acquaintance towards friendship).

Lets say this 15 day course I've takem up. The first 2 days, I was relatively social. But right from the 3rd day something switched off. I just sit on my seat, wait for the class to start, read during the breaks and leave.

Its been 7 days now and mostly everybody has formed friendships. A couple of people even invited me to their group, and while I did join them during the break for a day, I realised the cafeteria is way too crowded and I cant hear them and anyways I dont eat the food over there (I eat a protein bar while walking in the empty corridor, and I dont mind that, really).

The only time I interact is when I help others with their work or seek their help.

I think I fear opening up to people, what if I realise I dont like them but now we're closer than what we were and Ive got no way out. Or they turn out to be snakes who dont mean to be my friends at all or worse, I end up losing myself and act in a way contrary to myself to accomodate (These have been my prior experiences)

I dont know if this is normal or not, the only fear I have is am I missing out on something? Is whatever Im doing wrong?

I can always try to initiate convos with those people Ive already acquainted myself with, but it takes so much of energy to push myself and the reasons that I just listed above, prevent me from doing the same.

I'm a loner and have been attached to only one friend for the past 7–8 years. Because of that, I think I've put a lot of pressure on this person by expecting him to be everything for me and to be there whenever I need him. And I know that's not fair.

On top of that, he is an extrovert, while I'm a complete introvert.

I feel the need to make new friends, people I can talk to, share my shit with, or simply have conversations with to gain different perspectives on life. But whenever I try to reach out to people, I struggle to open up. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not, and I don't know how to build connections without feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

And honestly, it's hurting me more with each passing day.

What should I do? How do I learn to build meaningful connections with people? Or what should I read to help me understand myself and navigate this loneliness?

An introvert is someone who has a state-of-the-art social filtration system that improves the quality and purity of interaction by preemptively reducing contaminants.

I couldn't do the job I'm skilled at because of a very extroverted supervisor. I also tend to be more quiet as I take time to open up to someone.

As the title says. I kept fucking up and looking like a dumbass despite being good at what I'm doing. Brain just froze so I simply couldn't think. I couldn't even speak at all so I looked even more incompetent. Extroverts are the bane of my existence.

I need career advice/perspective. I feel like my personality is a problem in every job I go to. I’m a shy/slow to warm person and I’m also very introverted. I’ve been in my current corporate job for 2 years and both yearly reviews the main issue brought up is my communication - that I don’t speak up enough, ask enough questions, or communicate enough with my teammates. I feel like a lot of this stems from my naturally quiet personality. Last year my manager even commented that I'm 'not the most talkative person,' which made me feel like my natural personality was being viewed negatively.

Before my current job, I worked a corporate role on contract. During my first 2 weeks of training, my manager met with me and told me that they were concerned about my ability because I didn’t speak and ask questions enough. However, a week later, she met with me again and told me they were really pleased with my work and thought I was doing a great job, and I was frequently praised in front of the team for having high quality work. I ended up leaving that role for my current full-time role.

I’m just feeling really down about my current job because in my first yearly review my communication was brought up as more of a casual “things to work on” type of thing but this year my review was even worse and it was presented as more of a problem. I genuinely feel like I do ask questions and try to communicate, but it feels like every time there is a miscommunication, the blame falls on me because Im the quieter person. Sometimes when I do speak up, I feel like my opinions aren’t taken seriously, and I’m met with pushback or questioned as if they don’t trust my judgement. I’m not an argumentative person so I don’t really stand up for myself and then I’m ultimately blamed for “not speaking up about issues with the data” even though I feel like I tried to but no one wanted to listen. Another thing I'm struggling with is that even if I stay at my current job and try to improve, I feel like my coworkers and managers already have this negative perception of me. I constantly feel anxious and judged at work now, which makes it even harder to communicate naturally. I'm not sure how to move past that or whether it's possible to change their perception of me at this point.

I’m just looking for some advice or perspective- has anyone else been through this? Am I the problem? Is this something I can improve on over time, or is this a sign that my work environment or career might not be a good fit for my personality?

If it’s misalignment I would appreciate any advice on careers that might be a better fit for me. I currently work in consulting as a data analyst and I’m exploring going back to school to become a medical laboratory scientist because I feel like maybe this career path isn’t right for me.

By introvert hangovers, I mean feeling exhausted after a day of socializing, not wanting to do anything that night, and needing a low stim environment while you recover.

I have this new friend that is very talkative and goes from one talking point to another very quickly. I am able to keep up for the most part by chiming in and giving my opinions during each topic. But the sheer pace and lack of silences are throwing me off. I love this person and think they're such a great person and have an amazing personality and share a lot of interests. They're very understanding of my introversion and have assured me many times that I don't have to respond to everything they say and that I can let them know if I need a break. My social battery just can't keep up for longer than 2 or 3 hours. Even after I get home sometimes, I feel exhausted. I also get exhausted with my more introverted friends, but not as much as this. I'm hoping that the introvert hangovers will lessen over time and my tolerance will go up lol. Does anyone have any experience with something like this?

Kid wanted to eat alone on a 7 day cruise 😀

I feel alone....i think i developed a syndrome where I create scenarios in my dream where i'm happy and good and i also talk to myself thinking I'm talking to the other person creating scenarios in my mind...i think it's called daydreaming...i knew exactly what's happening but i cant stop it or maybe sub consciously i dont want to stop coz atleast i'm happy in my scenarios.... I don't know what to do..idk if its getting worse or what...but i also don't know what to do..

Also, when is it not them being the first to notice you when you are in the same room and greeting you first a sign of dislike or disrespect instead of just them having a bad day. I've noticed that when I greet someone and they greet back like they haven't slept in days, they might have a much more lively reaction when interacting with someone else. But then again, maybe they are matching my energy or the fact that lately I have troubling chatting with people. Right?

Edit: My problem really is that the people I'm talking about aren't consistent with their behaviour. One day they're gonna be fine, being warm and all but the next the are not. I don't want to make everyone like me, it's just that I try to figure out what's the problem.