Being in a relationship without trust, commitment, or peace is exhausting, especially when your partner keeps cheating, lying, and making you question your own instincts.Sometimes, you stay calm, observe the red flags, and wait for clarity. Then the evidence comes, the pieces fall into place, and you finally find the strength to choose yourself.You realize you don't need more explanations, excuses, or apologies. The truth becomes your closure, and walking away becomes your peace.

❤️ If you're navigating an abusive or unhealthy relationship and need someone to talk to, I'm here to listen without judgment. Whether you need clarity, emotional support, or help figuring out your next steps, feel free to reach out. You don't have to go through it alone. 🫂

I am 21 (f) he is 21 (m) we have been together since 15/14, grown a business together lived together since 18. I unfortunately have not trusted myself to drive untill now 21 so he’s been driving me everywhere, we work and live together we have no separate time. We work from home 24/7, he cooks because he will hover over me when I am cooking and tell me everything I do is wrong so I just let him cook, he drives, he says he does everything he can in his power to keep me comfortable. I feel like he is holding it against me because he SCREAMS that he does everything for me and he says he wants to do it and he is completely happy doing it but I don’t believe him. Lately I’ve been feeling very alone and like I can’t talk to him about anything anymore, he buys items online to sell at event so he’s always on his phone and I work online too so I get it but he just always on him phone he never puts it down. I tried to climb on top of him and he throw me off to look at his phone, I know a phone addiction is real and I tell him to get off he’s phone he’s not present and he just says I’m also always on my phone. Every problem I have he deflects and says I haven’t changed ( me getting my license ) but I haven’t because I’m scared of my self. But whenever I tell him he is wrong it’s like it can’t be true and I’m more wrong. Anyway I just feel so
alone in this relationship and I wish I wasn’t but I’m so unhappy, I’m scared to leave because he is very entangled into my business and I feel like I would loss my passion for the business with out him. So it’s like I would lose my partner and my business. I just want to be happy and have a partner that presents in the relationship.

I was in a mentally, verbally, and emotionally abusive relationship for 10 years. Toward the end of the relationship, I started recording my now ex-husband when he would verbally attack me.

Our relationship finally ended when things turned physical. He strangled me while yelling, “I’ll kill you, bitch.” I called 911, he was arrested, and I spent the entire day in the ER. There’s currently a restraining order in place, and he’s already been charged.

My point is that I have tons of old recordings and videos documenting the abuse, and I’d like to delete them from my phone and finally move on. However, it doesn’t sit right with me that all of this would essentially be erased, and nobody would ever see what he put me through.

I’m considering creating a Reddit account to share these recordings and videos publicly. I would leave out his name and face, but I’m wondering what legal consequences I could potentially face if I posted them and he somehow found out.

Could I get into legal trouble for posting these recordings and videos, even if I kept his identity anonymous?

My sister (24 F) has been in an emotionally abusive relationship for over a year now. She was already quiet and timid before she started dating this guy. But I have watched him turn her into a shell of the person she once was. The only time she left him was when he threatened to call the police and tell them that she “raped” him during consensual sex they had. She panicked so bad that my parents sent her to stay with my grandmother for a week. And of course, he was full of shit, begged for her to come back, and she went right back to him.

I’m so tired of giving her advice just for her to not listen to any of it. I want to be there for her, but I can’t just listen to this and say “ok nice talk.”

She is a bridesmaid in my wedding next year and I finally told her that she can’t bring her boyfriend. She didn’t take it well. Now I have to face the thought that my sister won’t be there to see me walk down the aisle.

I feel hopeless. I know this isn’t her fault and she is absolutely a victim. But does it ever get better? Will she ever break free of this? I’ve given her all of the resources in the world and nothing helps.

I guess I’m making this post to vent. I will be deleting this very soon because I’m scared someone I know will possibly somehow end up finding this post. This will be a bit long. I’m sorry. Thank you to whoever takes the time to read it.

I’m 20F. I’m currently in a relationship with 27M. I’m 8.5 months pregnant with our baby boy. We got together late last year when I was 19 and he was 26. Everything seemed fine at first but very quickly went down hill. I got pregnant the first time we ever had sex.

Starting in March when I moved in with him is when he really started to show his true colors. We fought a lot. He threw me out of his truck at 2 months pregnant. He name called a lot. The day I moved out in June, the cops were called because he slung me onto the bed and shook me and held my mouth closed because I was crying. we broke up for 2 months and during those 2 months he claimed the baby wasn’t his (I offered a paternity test, he refused.) We got back together in August whenever I finally got my own apartment and he came to bring me my dresser… it was probably a stupid choice letting him know where I live. He insisted to bring it to my place even though I told him I’d meet him halfway to get it. But that day he brought my dresser back he cried and begged for me to take him back and I did.

He was doing really fucking good this time around. And I mean that. Like really really good. He comes and visits once a week and stays for a day to 3 days. It was going great…until last month he started slipping with the name calling again. Telling me to shut the fuck up during arguments and not letting me speak. Saying I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to speak when I’d try defending myself. After a week of this it finally stopped and he eventually apologized. Said he had been tired and exhausted and that was why he was so mean.

Well fast forward to today, I came and stayed at his place. This morning for some reason I had a really hard time getting up. I don’t know why. I mean, I am 8.5 months pregnant and it seems the closer I get to the end of my pregnancy, the more tired I am. Anyways, he got pissed when I was being super slow this morning, he just started yelling and said he’s “not doing this shit” and just cussing random things, and I was so tired and exhausted and angry at him yelling I told him, “I don’t fucking care, fuck off.” And he stormed into the room and slapped me on the side of my head and pushed me down onto the bed and was holding me down. I started to cry and he told me I needed to stop being a cry baby and to grow up. And then kept yelling and telling me he ‘loved’ me and then I would tell him to get off of me and he’d say “no I’m not you need to calm the fuck down” and then i told him “you just hit me in the head i want you to leave me alone” and he responded and said “i slapped you in the head i didn’t hit you, stop being a cry baby.” I’m also pregnant and emotional so of course it made me cry and upset… maybe a tad bit more than normal. I didn’t talk to him most of the day but he kept kissing me and saying this morning was his fault and he was sorry.

I don’t know how to leave. I really mean it when I say that he is so great to me when he’s not in these moods, and that is something I don’t understand. that’s what makes this so fucking hard. It’s like he is bipolar. He’s a totally different person when he gets into these moods. I am so upset and apart of me feels like this isn’t abuse because he’s right, he didn’t punch me he just slapped me in the head.

TW: Domestic abuse, coercive control, substance abuse, physical aggression

I'm looking for some objective advice because I'm genuinely unsure how to handle this situation.

A few years ago, I was romantically and sexually involved with a woman. We were never officially in a relationship, but we were close and had an intimate connection. Eventually, life took us in different directions.

We recently reconnected when she reached out to me during a particularly difficult time in her life. She told me she was in an abusive relationship and wanted to leave her boyfriend.

According to her, he's extremely jealous, regularly monitors her phone, accuses her of cheating, and becomes unpredictable when drinking or using drugs. She also disclosed an incident where he became physically aggressive with her. She explicitly told me she was afraid of him.

As we continued talking, our previous romantic and sexual connection resurfaced. We exchanged intimate messages and discussed potentially being together again. I'm including that context because I want to be transparent about my personal involvement and acknowledge that my feelings might influence how I'm interpreting the situation.

She explained that she wanted to leave him but was struggling with circumstances that made leaving difficult. I encouraged her to seek help and provided information about domestic violence resources.

Then she stopped responding.

It's been several weeks since her last message. I've reached out multiple times asking whether she's okay, but I haven't received a response.

Under ordinary circumstances, I'd assume someone had lost interest or simply didn't want to communicate anymore. I'd respect that and move on.

But these aren't ordinary circumstances.

She specifically told me that her boyfriend monitored her communications, that she had limited opportunities to contact me privately, and that she was afraid of what might happen when she returned home.

I'm concerned that he may have discovered our correspondence, that she's being prevented from communicating, or that something worse may have happened.

I've contacted a domestic violence support organization and am awaiting guidance. There are sensitive personal circumstances that make involving law enforcement potentially complicated, and I don't want an attempt to help her to inadvertently make her situation worse.

I don't know her exact address or anyone nearby who could check on her.

I'm struggling to distinguish between legitimate concern for her safety and the possibility that she has simply chosen to stop communicating with me. I don't want to violate her boundaries, but I also don't want to ignore warning signs if she genuinely needs help.

What would you do? Would you pursue a welfare check, wait for the domestic violence organization to respond, or accept that she may have intentionally cut contact?

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TL;DR: A woman I was previously romantically involved with recently reconnected with me while trying to leave an abusive relationship. We rekindled our intimate connection, but she stopped responding several weeks ago. She previously disclosed physical aggression, controlling behavior, and fear for her safety. I've contacted a domestic violence organization but am hesitant to involve police because of sensitive personal circumstances. I don't know whether she's intentionally avoiding contact or potentially in danger. What should I do?

Hi, be prepared for a big train of thought and text/mixed up writing as i am currently just calming down from a panic attack. I ‘25F’have been dating my partner ‘28M’ for 5 years. over the past few months it has been rough as he is going through a financial issues, like a lot of financial issues. he still lives with his mom, which is completely okay, and he and his family pay for rent together. For context, my background is upper middle

class, and i have never, ever once put that on him, or said that i expected “extravagant things” from him. i get we come from completely different financial backgrounds.

Last winter I was dealing with some pretty bad depression, and was not out of the house as often as I should have been. he felt neglected that way, and still came to see me after his work and after my lectures (i am currently getting my masters). I can see that this put a strain on the relationship, and i take full responsibility for that. this past summer, he gave me a script to help out with getting sales for his lawn maintenance business. I tried multiple times, but no bites, which i felt badly about as i really wanted to help out. (all of this is necessary for background context.

We have been having pretty bad fights, for the past few months, with him calling me lazy, a cunt, and that i’ve had everything handed to me and that i would never get how it is hard for him. the thing is, i do get how it is hard, he is in debt, like a lot of debt. He said i wasn’t helping him win, as I didn’t get sales, and that it was so easy to get sales.

Flash forward to today, i took an uber/bus to see him after my placement. he got back home from work super late, so i just did some of his laundry from his room (it’s really messy, but i don’t mind helping out even if it’s a little bit). When he got home, i knew that he immediately had to go somewhere else that was about an hour away, and that i wanted to go with him as well, but the thing is , tomorow is a family members graduation, and i needed to be up early. so i said i may need to uber home, and jokingly said maybe he cld drive me home and we can take a shower together before he headed out. (this was the wrong thing to say). after about five minutes, he got up and said “why am i even waiting for you to get the uber? just call it already!” so i did call it. then, while i was outside waiting, he implied that i should have come with him, and that he always would do small sacrifices like staying up late for me (he has, to be frank, in the past, which i always told him i was greatful for). i offered to cancel the uber, and he said no don’t wait your money. i then got home, and we called, and it was an hour of him yelling at me over the phone, saying how he needs someone to help him win, and i can’t do that. and he broke down crying saying how he is so stressed, and i said i understand, and he said that he can’t be in a relationship right now. he also was calling me a bunch of rude names that i really don’t want to repeat. i cried obviously, but the thing is, in the past he had done this but then we would get back together after. i don’t know, i feel like i am going insane. i really love this person. i don’t know if this is necessary to say, but i am neurodivergent as well.

I met my ex when I was 18 and he was 32. We started dating when I was 19 and he was 33. We met while I was a student, at a time when I was still unsure whether I wanted to go to med school. My uncle knew him because he was a surgeon at a fairly known hospital. I had been working at that hospital once a week for a little over a year (between the ages of 18 and 19) as a student. He was the main doctor I reported to, and I guess you could say I had a crush on him, although it was probably more admiration than anything else. I idolized him because he basically represented everything I wanted to become.

Long story short, he ended up writing me a letter of recommendation for med school while I was still working at the hospital (I was rejected but got in the following year).

Keep in mind that throughout my entire time there, he had a girlfriend who was his age. They even moved in together and bought a house while I was working there. At some point, he started flirting with me, but I genuinely thought I must have been imagining it. There was no way this man, whom I practically saw as a god, could actually be flirting with a 19 year old, starry-eyed girl.

We ended up dating, and I had to leave my job at the hospital. I started med school the following year, when I was 20 and he was 34. We got married when I was 21 and he was 35.

My entire family was strongly against the relationship in the beginning. I was 19 and obviously still living at home, but I ended up moving out because I wanted so badly to be with him, and I couldn’t stand constantly fighting with my family over it. Once we got married, my family eventually calmed down and more or less accepted the relationship.

I made him my entire world. I told him things I had never told anyone before, including details about the abuse I experienced during my childhood and some genuinely horrible things I had lived through growing up. I had a really rough upbringing and I trusted him with parts of myself I had never shared with anyone else.

Less than a year into our marriage, I lost a family member to suicide, and it affected me really badly. I was also in med school at the time, which made everything even harder.

I started taking Adderall and other substances to help me focus and avoid falling behind and sleeping pills to calm myself down. It often caused really bad anxiety, agitation, and other issues which I regret. This went on for about four months before I finally stopped.

When he found out, because I told him myself, he was furious. He told me I had broken his trust, that he had put me on a pedestal, and that he could get into serious trouble as a prestigious doctor if anyone found out his wife was some kind of “druggie.”

I also want to mention that during those four months, I was severely sexually assaulted during a night out. Someone had slipped something into my drink, and I couldn’t remember everything that happened. I came home bleeding. It was really, really bad. As you can imagine this also made me depressed at times and I wasn’t always the best version of myself.

Anyway, you can probably imagine how much trauma I was dealing with at the time.

For the two years following those events, he repeatedly told me that I had broken something inside him, that I had ruined our relationship, and that he had put me on a pedestal and been prepared to give me everything, but that my actions had permanently changed how he saw me and our relationship.

I also started noticing some really disturbing behaviours. He openly admitted that he didn’t know what it felt like to experience empathy. He once commented that he could watch an animal being tortured and feel absolutely nothing, although he would consider it stupid because it wasn’t a “productive activity.” On another occasion he even made a comment about understanding why some men stab their partners to death.

Eventually he left me. The way I found out was that I came home one day and discovered that the house had been cleared out. It turns out he had been slowly moving his belongings out for the previous ten months. Whenever I noticed something was missing, he would convince me that I was imagining things or that I was insane.

We were together for five years, and I was his longest relationship.

I later found out that he had also been telling people in his professional circle that we were getting divorced during those last ten months, despite the fact that I had absolutely no idea. He had clearly been planning his exit for a long time because he’s genuinely obsessed with his reputation, and I suspect he figured that by slowly spreading the news over several months, the divorce wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone once he actually went through with it.

I know this sounds so fucked up when I say it, but I still wonder whether I somehow did this to myself. He had eight other serious relationships before me and had lived with three other women, but I was the only one he ever married. After hearing stories about his previous relationships, I found out that he had also left some of his exes in similar ways.

He had convinced me that he had never experienced real love before meeting me, that I was the first person he had ever truly loved, and that he had chosen to trust me blindly.
According to him, I had basically shot myself in the foot. He had put me on this pedestal, been ready to give me everything, and I had ruined it all.

Am I a bad person? Did I really ruin everything the way he said I did?

He also spent months telling me that I was lucky he wasn’t a bad guy because my abandonment issues were so severe that an abusive person could easily take advantage of me. He even told me that I was the kind of girl pimps would prey on. And there’s genuinely so much more that happened throughout those five years. I feel like I could spend years writing about everything so this is really just a very brief summary.

He does no childcare absolutely 0 and he’s been collecting evidence for divorce court for a while, he asks me to lock our toddler in his room and stay in there with her so she’s out of his hair when he’s eating his dinner showering etc basically he’s in living room kitchen and we’re in the small tiny room size of a closet most of the time then he goes and bring all the toys she play with in the living room and dumps it all in the small room to the point we can’t even walk in that room and while doing that he has his phone in his hand recording me because I got mad and screamed! Then this time I grabbed his phone and told him to stop recording me. This was one example but he does it like all the time constantly recording I’m tired. He’s trying to go to the court and tell them I’m abusive and take my child away from me. What can I do???? What can he potentially do with these type of video in court?
PA I always get upset and raise my voice over the stuff he does because they’re so unfair and he does it intentionally:( never physical ever just screaming and tonight I grabbed his phone and I’m now 100 sure he records me

I’m curious what the worst, most toxic, or emotionally draining traits you’ve experienced.

I am 32(f) and here are some of mine:

•Constant provocation over the smallest things: Deliberately pushing buttons and provoking reactions, then acting completely innocent.

•Stonewalling and silent treatment: Ignoring me for days, withholding communication, acting like I didn’t exist.

•Lack of initiative: Never taking initiative for fixing problems or improving the relationship.

•Empty promises: Constantly promising to change, but never actually following through.

•Screaming and name-calling: Yelling, insulting and using degrading language during arguments.

•Vindictiveness: Always needing to get revenge and take things one step further.

•Resenting my happiness: Getting irritated or angry whenever I am focusing on my own needs and interests.

•Controlling behavior: Trying to control everything, including when I was “allowed” to do certain things. Saying things like, “You can do that when I feel like letting you.”

•Controlling my appearance: Telling me what clothes I was and wasn’t allowed to wear.

•Interfering with my career: Trying to control my job: wanting to be part of business trips to control me.

•Invalidating my feelings: him denying my emotions, and acting like he knew my own feelings better than I did.

•Playing the victim: Somehow turning every situation around until he was the victim, even when he was the one who hurt me.

•Threats and ultimatums: Threatening to replace me with another woman or cheat on me to get his way.

•Devaluation: calling me a disgusting, worthless woman, insulting my character, and questioning what I had ever done for him.

•Jealousy of my success: Instead of being proud of my achievements, especially at work, my success seemed to trigger anger and resentment

•Picking fights over normal social interactions: Getting angry when I was friendly or talkative with people in public, even waiters. He would call that behavior “masculine” and start arguments over it.

•Rigid gender roles: Constantly defining himself as a “real man” and imposing strict rules about how a woman should behave, speak, dress, and interact with others.

•Treating strangers badly: Being rude, disrespectful, or condescending toward waiters, Uber drivers, and other service workers.

•Constant negativity and miserable moods: Almost always being angry, irritated, or in a bad mood. It felt like his negativity filled the entire room.

I’m curious whether others experienced that constant feeling of having the life and energy sucked out of them.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/1wqli6z/found_out_my_45f_ex_husband_44m_has_convinced/

I hope this is the correct way to post an update. I couldn't find anything about that in the rules. I wanted to update after my therapy appointment happened. I actually sent my therapist the post, and she read it herself. She said she was very grateful I got such helpful responses to my post, and was glad those who shared their stories and commented helped me so much.

I am grateful as well. I don't know if I would have been in as good a place mentally by the time my appointment rolled around if I hadn't made the post, and gotten so many wonderful comments and messages. My therapist and I are going to focus on this abusive relationship in my upcoming appointments. Until the friend reached out I don't think I even realized just how traumatized I had been by what my ex husband (lets call him T) did to me.

My therapy sessions were mostly about the abuse I endured as a child, and teenager. We hadn't really started on my adult abuse experiences. So now we are going to focus on those more. Thank you all for helping me feel validated, and seen. It means the world to me. Keep doing what you're doing.

As for the friend who started me on this experience well I cut ties with her. We hadn't talked to many years so it was an easy choice. I don't wish her any ill will, and told her as much. I made sure to let her know that I understood why she thought I needed to know the information she shared with me, and that while I didn't hate her for it I couldn't trust that she would respect my wishes in the future since she couldn't respect them this time.

After I confirmed she had seen the message I blocked her. I hope she is doing well, and not being too hard on herself. She really didn't mean anything bad from it. Thank you all again. I hope you are all doing well.

I found out my ex is in a new relationship with a girl he used to work with about 2 weeks ago. We dated for 4 years and he broke up with me abruptly over text about 5 months ago, we haven’t spoken since I dropped off all his things and blocked him on all platforms. Of course, I have kept him blocked, so I am only finding out about the relationship now…they have been dating for about 4 months (meaning yes, he was seeing her a few weeks after we ended).

He is one of the scariest people I have met, he is extremely controlling and manipulative. His ex warned me about him 3 years ago and I didn’t listen when I wish I had. Genuinely, he nearly destroyed me. I was constantly anxious, I was isolated from my friends, my self worth had never been lower and I’m still trying to undo all the damage I have taken over the years.

I feel a need to warn her woman to woman, but I want absolutely nothing to do with him. And my fear is that he will find a way to contact me. I’m in two minds over this, part of me wants to keep my peace, stay FAR away from anything to do with him and mind my business, but the other part of me is screaming to help her- I wish someone had done that for me.

Thoughts?

My partner has a high libido, ADHD, impulse control and emotional regulation issues.

We have nearly everyday, on average 40 minutes. Sometimes even twice a day. The more sex we have, the more stimulation he desires and the harder it gets for him to finish.

It's caused a lot of issues. I have tried setting boundaries as I prefer to have sex 3 times a week but I have struggled a lot with it due to him constantly initiating sex or getting sexual anytime we show affection, and despite saying I am not in the mood.

I also cave in because he gets moody and withdraws emotionally/physically around 2 days of no sex.

He also crossed my boundaries a lot, ignoring me when I only agree to do certain acts. If I say no, he also tries to negotiate what he can do. He also knows I have a fawn response and dissociate, especially after I have already expressed my boundaries.

It also doesn’t matter what time we go to bed, if we have had an exhausting day or if we had sex earlier... he always wants to get it off. He is even happy to have me laying there doing nothing or waiting outside the bedroom or have me sleep on my own in another room just so he can jerk off if I dont give him sex.

Everytime I have been on my period or near it, he starts complaining about how he won't get sex. Then, he obviously withdraws emotionally and physically, under the guise of "he has had a hard day and needs space"

We go to bed and he doesn’t want to cuddle or show affection because he is "tired and wants space" but this happens EVERYTIME i am on my period or if he knows he won't be getting anything.

Then I try confronting him, asking him why it's okay for him to push sex on me when I don't feel like it or have sex with me when I am tired or in pain before bed, yet I have to respect his space?

He just ignores me, I start spiraling and then he starts saying how I don't respect him and that I am manipulating him.

I feel like I am going crazy. I feel like the dynamic is really unfair and emotionally distressing. Also physically distressing too because I feel used for sex and tossed to the side when he can't get it. He only praises me and showers me with affection when he wants sex or when I have given him an amazing time....

He is going through a hard time. He is depressed, hates his work, hates his life and hates our home... he may even hate me.

I just don't get it.

I don't think its fair to give someone the cold shoulder, not communicate properly you need space yet expect sex from them everyday and show conditional love and affection

Finally, I got rid of my boyfriend who abused me hard. He literally brainwashed me. I am still trying to heal. This is what I was exposed to:

1. He defends women must clean and cook but men doesn't have to.
2. He likes white women, (he is white) I have tanned skin. He asked me to change my skin color by using whitening creams. I told him: no, you knew I have tanned skin from the benginning and you was the one who wanted to be my boyfriend.
3. When I told him I cannot change my skin color, he told me people should do everything for a relationship.
4. One time, when he was coughing, I was worried and asked him if he is ok because it was like he was suffocating. He yelled at me after he cough. I told him I was worried and I care about him. He said curse words for me.
5. I got rings for us, not a wedding ring, it was just the symbol of our relationship, but he did not wear the ring and gave it back to me. At that evening, he cheated on me with a girl who also has tanned skin. I saw he texted her to meet on instagram and gave her his number.
6. He was disgusted by my non-makeup look. I always wore makeup when I am with him. One time I did not wear makeup and he got mad at me, he said I look like a dirty construction worker.
7. When he cheated on me, he gaslighted me. He told me he did not talk flirty with them, they were juat friends. At first I believed in him. However, it repeated and I texted the girl he talked. She sent me messages that he asked her to be his lover and flirty talks. He told me those talks are all fake.
8. He is too fat but he wants a thin woman. My height is 5'8 and my weight is 154 pounds but he called me fat even though he was 310 pounds.
9. He wants a virgin woman to get married but he was not a virgin + he was very sexually active + he was divorced
10. He doesn't like hairy woman. When we met, there was two or three hair on my hand and he said he was disgusted.
11. When I said I needed to sleep, he did not let me go and forced me to talk with him.
12. He told me he was an engineer but actually he was just a high school graduate.
13. He always expected compliments. When I compliment less in a day, he used to tell me I am not romantic.
14. He was addicted to computer games. He had no social life.
15. He believed in a nonsense idea of hierarcy, he told me he is unique and superior than most of the people, including me. (btw he is just a high school graduate while I have bachelors degree, I know two foreign languages, I know sign language, I am an artist, I am a teacher, I can cook well, I am loyal, I am clean, I write poems, I have many certificates etc.
16. He told no woman can be superior than him. He said women is not intelligent as men.
17. He told me if a woman is not beautiful, she is not worth to love.
18. He hates fat women and always made fun of them. I told him being fat may not be people's fault and being fat is not a bad thing, he hated my thoughts.
19. When he doesn't like my ideas, he told me I am nothing but dumb.
20. When he made me cry, he told me I am too emotional and idiot.
21. He was racist to me. He cursed my race wven though I am mixed.
22. He told me I am naive and people would trick me, he told me he would never do that to me.
23. When I tried to break up, he got obsessed with me in a toxic way and threatened me. He told me "I'd kill you" or "I will send your +18 photos to your relatives". (he even bought a fake number so that he can send my private medias to my parents and my relatives) He has many guns and I was so scared that I had to stay with him and pretended to love him for a long time.
24. At the end of the story, I escaped and my parents protected me (hopefully)

Now I am safe and free but I still try to heal and gain my self-confidence again. I have a lot of trauma. Now he has a new girlfriend but he still tries to contact with me. I never talked him again. Blocked him and changed my number.

What was your breaking point? What made you say “enough is enough” and gave you the strength to leave? Today he took my food away; he said he was done eating and cleared everything off the table. When I asked for an explanation, he told me to thank him for keeping me in line. Just to be clear, I’m 5.9 feet tall and weigh 140 pounds

I have a bad relationship with my father in that we hardly talk and usually he will try to talk to me if I have done something wrong. He also gets frustrated at me for not talking to him. I honestly don't know what is going on because I have very bad anxiety so I get scared to talk to him and avoid being around him altogether just so that he doesn't initiate conversation with me. I am scared of him but I don't think that is saying much because my anxiety spikes from social interaction in general and I frequently avoid social situations for that reason. I generally will get anxious for no apparent reason, even if I have no thoughts in my head, so I don't think that that is really a good measure of whether or not he's abusive.

Also, he is very short tempered and irritable frequently and tends to be immature when he is upset in that he deflects, shifts blame, yells, will say things as though he is the victim but every time I try to research about abuse, it kind of seems like people have it much worse and that makes me question if my situation is even that bad. Because it seems like emotional abuse tends to be defined by a lot of verbal insults, belittling, manipulating, etc., but my dad and I barely talk anymore and even though he does get angry and can be insulting, it's often due to things that I do wrong and it's not very frequent honestly. Most of the time, we won't talk and if he's in a good mood, he will be fine. Maybe he is very flawed but that doesn't have to equate to abuse. Maybe, he just has toxic tendencies because he was never taught any better by his own abusive parents. I'm not saying that subconscious manipulation and such do not constitute abuse, but just that I don't know if my situation is severe enough to be considered abuse.

Actually, I'm very priveleged. He has done a lot for me, especially financially. I should be grateful and I feel guilty for complaining about abuse when most people who deal with abuse have heinous stories. And I know that anger that is expressed via yelling and such is not good but I guess I am wondering if it was more the situation than abusive tendencies that caused him to be this way. Because when I was younger and more responsible and talkative, he was still generally short-tempered but would be nice otherwise. When I got older and started dealing with more mental health issues, I started becoming a lot more closed off, a lot less responsible, and avoided him a lot more. It would make sense to be frustrated if you can't get through to someone right? If you're a parent and your child constantly makes stupid errors and won't tell you about it or talk to you about it until and unless you happen to find out and if they just generally don't talk to you or maintain a relationship with you and if they get quiet when you yell at them and don't respond, you might be driven to yell to get a response out of them. And in that context, if he yells and calls me irresponsible, it isn't wrong given that I am very irresponsible. It's not necessarily toxic right? It's not like he called me awful names.

One thing I will say is not great about him for certain though is that he is controlling. He makes a lot of decisions for me without my consent and I can't say anything because not only am I dependent on him, but also he is right that I am not repsonsible and cannot handle it. But I hate that my privacy is sometimes invaded upon. He can also be very judgmental and I hate that I have to be careful around him depending on his mood that day. When he does something wrong, he will not apologize but sometimes will try to fix it but the issue is that he does those things in the first place. Usually if he does apologize, it is followed by victim statements such as "I guess I'm just awful" or justifications of why my behavior compelled him to act that way. I hate his tone and facial expressions when he talks to me because it looks like he is disgusted or looking down on me when he talks sometimes, especially when he is pissed about something. But that is so subjective that I don't know if I can even complain about that. It makes it hard for me to approach him though and often when he wants to have discussions, his tone sounds more like he is demanding answers rather than trying to talk about something normally. He is also not emotionally affectionate in general but does expect it from others and seems to only ever be affectionate when we are in the presence of others, particularly people he knows. It makes me feel even angrier than if he hadn't paid attention to me because it's clear that he does it for show. Strangely enough though, if he is very upset, he will openly yell at me in front of other people. He also likes to make jokes that are insulting even if the other person has already expressed being upset by them. I hate that I crave his approval and feel hopeful when he starts being nice to me. I wish he was fully and blatantly terrible sometimes so that it would be easier for me to hate him and never look back. But I do feel bad. I am here complaining about abuse when he definitely does work hard to pay for me while I am mostly lazy and demotivated. I really think I should just die most of the time.

I'm sorry this is so all over the place; I just don't know how to sort this because I don't trust my judgment at all, particularly due to my already crazy levels of anxiety and tendency to be neurotic. My moods and emotions are rarely ever stable and I can't make sense of anything. So much of this is hard to talk about because so much of it is due to my own perception. The only thing I know for sure is that he is very abusive to my mom but not as much to me and my siblings, if at all.

I need advice regarding a California custody case while living in Idaho.

I am 22 years old, and my son recently turned one. His father and I are currently fighting over custody in California, even though I have been living in Idaho since October of last year. His father filed his case in March of this year. I travel back to California approximately every other month so that our son can spend time with his father.

My current custody situation and financial responsibilities

For now, I have full physical custody and primary responsibility for my son. He lives with me, and I handle his daily care and financial needs. I have been financially responsible for raising him, including covering his expenses and making sure he has what he needs. His father has not consistently contributed financially and only recently sent me approximately $150 last month. This happened after another woman threw it in my face that he had been spending money on her. Meanwhile, I have continued carrying the financial responsibility of raising our son.

His father is asking the court for full custody, and I want to maintain full physical custody while sharing legal custody, if appropriate for my situation. His father also wants his mother to share custody. I have concerns about his mother's behavior toward me and certain safety concerns involving my son.

**Evidence his father is using against me**

His father has recordings of private conversations that I did not know were being recorded. He is using them to make claims about my mental health and my ability to parent.

* He claims I have postpartum depression and am suicidal. I have attended therapy, and my medical documentation states that there were no signs of suicidal behavior. After a family member died, I made a statement about not wanting to breathe, but I was grieving and did not mean that I intended to end my life.

* He has a recording of me discussing a fight I got into at a party. I mentioned it after he called me scary and weak, and I felt pressured to defend myself.

* He is using my scoliosis as an issue in the custody case, even though it has not prevented me from caring for my son.

I am concerned about how these recordings will be interpreted and whether they can be used in court, especially because I did not know I was being recorded.

**My missed mediation**

I previously missed mediation because of a family emergency. The court rescheduled it and warned me that I could be fined if I missed it again.

For the rescheduled mediation, I asked the judge whether I should call the same number I used for my remote court hearing. I understood the judge to say yes. When I called, I discovered I was in the wrong place. I tried contacting the clerk, called another number I was given, and followed instructions to find the correct mediation contact information. There was confusion, and I spent time trying to reach the right people. I was also communicating with my son's father, who said he had spoken to the mediation staff and that they would give me a few extra minutes.

By the time I reached the correct contact, I was told the mediation was being dismissed. I genuinely tried to attend and was not intentionally avoiding the process. I am worried about the consequences and need to know what I can do next.

**Evidence I have against the father and concerns involving his family**

I have text messages that I believe show aggressive or violent behavior by his father, controlling or inappropriate communication, and his lack of consistent financial contributions. I can also document that I have been financially responsible for my son and that his father only recently sent me approximately $150.

I have concerns about his mother's behavior toward me, including an incident involving my son's chocolate allergy after she had been told about it. I am mentioning his mother because his father wants full custody while also seeking an arrangement in which his mother shares custody.

I also have medical notes from when I was pregnant documenting concerns about verbal and emotional abuse by his father and his family.

How I was served:

On April 20, 2026, I was with my son's father in California. During the events leading up to my being served with custody papers, I was asleep, and his father went through my phone and questioned me. I told him that I wanted to leave. He said he was hungry, and I got him food. Afterward, the argument continued, and his behavior became increasingly aggressive.

While his father was driving, I felt that I was not being allowed to leave the vehicle. When we arrived at a parking lot, I recognized someone approaching and began to panic because I felt that I was being set up. I repeatedly screamed for his father to let me out of the car. When I attempted to open the door, he repeatedly locked the doors.

Eventually, I managed to get out of the vehicle and attempted to open the back door to retrieve my son. His father pulled me back into the car. During this incident, a man approached and served me with the custody papers.

I later identified the man as someone who had previously been in a relationship with my son's paternal grandmother and who personally knew my son's father. The man was driving the paternal grandmother's car when he served me.

Earlier that day, before we went to get food, my son's father had stepped out of his own vehicle and spoken with his mother. I saw them speaking, but I did not hear their conversation and cannot say what they discussed.

The timing of these events, along with the relationship between the person who served me and my son's father's family, caused me to question whether the service had been coordinated in advance.

**My main questions**

1. What should I do immediately after missing mediation, especially when I made multiple attempts to attend?

2. Can I request another mediation appointment and explain the confusion to the court?

3. Could California still have jurisdiction over custody even though I have lived in Idaho since October and his father filed in March?

4. How should I respond to the recordings and allegations about my mental health?

5. Can recordings made without my knowledge be used in a California custody case?

6. How should I organize and present my evidence of alleged abuse, financial contributions, and safety concerns?

7. What factors should I focus on to support my request for full physical custody and shared legal custody?

8. Can his father obtain full custody or have his mother share custody simply because he is requesting it?

I want to protect my son's stability and best interests while making sure the court has an accurate picture of my parenting, the financial responsibilities I carry, and the situation between his father and me. I would appreciate advice on the most urgent steps I should take and any legal resources available to someone in my circumstances.

Hello, First time poster. (F) I’ll try to keep this condensed as possible for my own peace of mind.

My emotionally abusive ex took his life last week. We had been no contact for eight years, but this still impacted my life.

I’ve been in therapy for a while. I wasn’t ready to reopen the wounds he left in me. In fact, when I wrote in another subreddit I was STILL defending him. It wasn’t until after his funeral that I finally admitted that he abused me. I feel ashamed even saying that because my own brain makes me feel guilty because he didn’t hit or verbally abuse me.

I won’t make a too detailed list but I was neglected, indirectly belittled, picked on, made to feel terrible about myself, never had support in bad moments, had him ignore me during important moments, and never felt good enough to be with him. He was so emotionally unavailable but would love-bomb me if I slipped too far away. It messed with my head. He would have very scary outbursts. If he got angry he was scary and threw things. Once he put his head in the wall and left a huge dent. Or he would ignore me. On top Of that, I used to make the excuse he was probably autistic and just not emotional.

I know that isn’t true. I’m working through it with my therapist now. This isn’t my fault.

We had the same friend group. I adored his parents and siblings. His best friend was one of my close friends. They called me to tell me. I was numb.

My first emotional conflict was crying for this man who hurt me. How could I cry for someone who put me in such a bad place? I cried for the friend I missed and the healing I wanted him to have.

Then feeling resentful. I have had to fight with my own issues with SI (some of which he was there for and didn’t even care.) the resentment of having to be strong and help myself, when he just gets to do this?

After, I felt so guilty. Despite what he did to me, he’s very missed. His parents and friends didn’t deserve this. I know his mom is devastated (I reached out to her.) I feel like a selfish jerk that this person is gone, people are mourning, and I’m only thinking about my own pain.

Now I’m just angry. This is the first time I’m coming to terms with having been abused. I’m embarrassed and blaming myself. I feel like it’s my own fault for staying for five years. I also feel guilty that it could have been worse (I know that’s just trauma.)

I think I’m also reconciling that I never got to tell him to his face that he’s awful for what he did to me.

My question is: has anyone been through similar? Have you had to navigate this? Is it normal to be this conflicted?

I only just realised after the breakup I’ve been loved bombed and I’ve been non stop crying all week. We started talking at the end of July. We got on so well. Within a matter of days he was telling me how much he really liked me and we hadn’t even met. When we went on our first date it was amazing! Like I said we got on so well. We went on more dates and I had a great time. He bought me gifts, over complimented me and told me I was perfect- all within 2 weeks. On our 4th date in three weeks he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was shocked but I’d never felt so chosen before and was happy so I said yes.

He showered me with so many compliments and gifts and I thought this was love. He told me he was in love with me like a week after we were officially together. I always felt anxious around him as weeks went on, but I just put that down to nervousness cause I really liked him. He basically put me on a pedestal. He texted me consistently throughout the day! Like if I went off my phone for a few hours he would be confused. He didn’t really like me going out with my friends and would say stuff like u should spend time with me more. Obviously at the time I felt like he had my best interests, and maybe I did feel a little safe with him.

He would say things like he’d never felt like this before about someone and that he doesn’t know what he would do without me. And I’m like a stupid idioit girl I fell for it. All because I wanted someone to chose me for once.

I’m crying as I type this. One day last week he called me basically saying that he’s going through things mentally and that he cannot be in this relationship anymore. And it ended. 2 months just gone like that. I’ve never cried like this before.

To make things worse, my friend who has been dating a guy and taking it slow for the past few months has told me she’s finally in a relationship. I’m so happy for her she deserves this, however I’m so embarrassed for myself because I really thought someone could fall in love with me in weeks.

I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying. It’s been a week and I’m still struggling. Why am I so loving? Why am I so stupid to fall for something like this? I feel like I can never trust anyone again and I just feel numb. I was angry earlier about it and now I’m upset.

I’m so sorry if this is all over the place but I’m just so upset and I really don’t know what to do.

Im scared he'll take the kids if I wind up homeless with them.

My name is on the house, and so is his unfortunately.

My mother and i paid for that house.

Its not right he and his mother get to just bully me out of it.

I left for a month, and it's been the hardest month of my life. Im so tired.

What if I get him to hit me and actually report it this time?

I don't want to get cps involved, they'll take the kids but I guess they're safer with some random foster family at this point.

We're so far out in the desert, im scared I'll get buried out there and he and his mom will tell everyone I ran away again- without the kids this time. They'll never find my body.

He already tells me im lazy and do nothing for our kids. Controls my car. Oh, things escalated when i took my car back. Won't leave my house. Won't let me get a job. I cant leave the kids alone with him.

He and his mom have stolen my mail and other important things.

Im scared to send my son to school because he and/or his mom might "pick him up from school" and never return him.

I just don't know what to do. I keep praying to God that he'll just drop dead of natural causes, but the truth is I was close to having a stress related heart attack in that house.

Even my 4 year old noticed. He tells me "mama you're so happy now." My 18 month old hasn't said "dada" once since we've been gone. Not once.

The best I can think to do is lock myself and our kids in my room whenever he's home and get a boyfriend who works for the police department, since I already re-homed the dog. Im also gonna tell anyone and everyone in that town who will listen what he and his mother are doing to me.

What else can I do? Legally or illegally? Im open to hearing your suggestions.

24F, 24M. together for6 months. As the story goes. we didn’t use protection. it was valentine’s day (of course; insert eye roll). we came at the same time and he came inside me. long story short, I got pregnant. it wasn’t even an option for me to keep it. I was told I would have to kill my unborn baby and I was so scared to stand up for myself because I didn’t want him to leave me. yes, it was toxic and abusive. I had to go to the clinic and take the pill alone. most traumatic experience of my life, while he went out to the bar with his friends. that was 2 years ago. flash forward today and I still have flashbacks and panic about what happened, nightmares and a whole lot of what ifs. it’s killing me slowly. and now my ex is engaged in a happy relationship after leaving me. long rant. but short take is : how the hell am I supposed to move on from this? I am in a new relationship and still have flashbacks to this day. How will I ever move on? why was it so easy for him to move on and he had no consequences for his actions? please help.

how am I supposed to move on from this?

Hello!

I think I am having a hard time understanding/accepting how people can be ok with someone's abusive behaviors towards their partners/people/ex? I am sorry for a pretty long post!:

I faced multifaceted abuse for 4 years during the relationship and relentless intrusion/narrative control for 5 years after, by my 2nd ex.. Since the relationship, he has come to work 10 minutes from my house (during the relationship, he complained about the drive back and forth and mocked the area I lived in), he then started working at this timeshare he only knew through my family, knew me and my family frequented often and loved so much, and chatted them up/offering them free drinks and so on. We stopped going due to me finally telling them about the abuse, showing screenshots/photos etc and having a mental breakdown over it. Since the relationship, he would make comments pointed towards me publicly while leaving out all of what he did.. making himself seem like the victim (an angel with a halo and the woman as a devil after a pointed comment), shaming others for behaviors that he had done to me as well, etc. I did block him a bit after the relationship, but then intrusions started happening (I still had some mutuals... which I know I should have blocked too..)

Now he has adopted the same safe spaces/areas and hobbies and even fabricated a lie about me publicly last year (he has done this before, but his biggest one was last year). Acting as if he was the victim of me and we were on a "messy break" before what would have been our anniversary if we were still together (it was a more specifically pointed post...).

He did hide who he was during the relationship (with no help from me, but I was so confused because he would use my past abusive relationship, the fact he has more friends than me, and I also just knew I wouldn't be believed because of how everyone viewed him.. I did try to reach out to people though.. But tbh I was also mostly surrounded by just his friends at that point..), but since then, he publicly makes threats (like threatening to spit in customers' drinks over minor requests/threatening to stab people over something minor/punched a hole in the wall over a minor scratch on his car, which made one of his friends start believing me and tell me), degrades and mocks hurting women (calls women derogatory names, brags about some harm he causes/has caused and blames the women/casual misogyny), sees himself in Homelander and sympathizes with characters like him and men accused of harming their partners/exes... etc a lot.. Some even admitted that he could be controlling.. And found it more believable now that he was abusing me because of the way that he is now.. Some did admit he has social power and can be very charismatic and some of the things he would go and brag about to them were... what made some of them start side-eyeing him..

But so many still see him as this great, genuine guy who would never hurt someone and worship him..? Even those who do know what he did to me (and apparently was questioning why I was with him during the relationship....) would feel a type of way towards me when I would refuse to go to events they invited us both to if he was going and would be like, "You guys haven't been together in a while, so it should be ok"/"He doesn't care about you so why do you care about him?" (A bit of background: the relationship consisted of: Emotional/Sexual/Psychological/Financial/Verbal Abuse, Coercive Control, and Physical Intimidation and manipulation and some hasn't stopped since the relationship ended.. He would show up when I would say no/punish me for simple things or my feelings, etc. It was very bad to the point I really considered.. you know.. He "didn't want anyone else to have me"... and it was just really bad overall..).. When I decided to stop being friends with them, they were mad at me...?

He even uses some of his tactics on them..? Even women who post against abusive men like him... Support him and attack me despite how he is publicly/towards women and all of the evidence I have..? Since "he did nothing to me or behind my back in front of them," etc.. and I just don't get it..? Not even that, but the women he was trying to cheat with (and did cheat with... even whose reputations he ruined at their job...) blame me..? And I think I am just having such a hard time with injustice no matter how much therapy I have been doing, no matter how much I try to practice acceptance, no matter how much research.... And I just feel really isolated in this experience with him, weirdly enough.. Idk... And it just sucks that I feel differently about going places now.. I am mostly home all the time now.. Just so much changed.. I honestly wish I could understand this more.. I just feel stuck or crazy (same like in the relationship tbh..)

I( 27F) have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years, but he physically abuses me. Our families are discussing marriage. Should I leave?
I’m 27F, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost five years. He is an IIT graduate, professionally well-established, and an only child. I come from an established Marwari family, and he is from Bihar.
For the longest time, I genuinely believed we would get married. He can be incredibly caring and loving, and I do believe he has strong feelings for me. He often says that he has nobody in this world apart from me, and because he is an only child, I feel responsible for his emotional well-being. This makes the situation much harder for me.
He told his parents about our relationship in 2025, but they were initially unwilling to agree to the marriage. I returned to India in September 2025. I told my parents about him in February 2026, and they agreed to the marriage within about a month.
However, his parents kept postponing things, giving different reasons, including relocation plans and his mother’s health. After months of waiting, we finally met his parents in September 2026.
They invited us for a private dinner, but I felt that I was bullied and humiliated during the meeting. I had hoped things would improve once the families met, but instead, I came away feeling even more uncertain about the future.
The biggest issue, though, is my boyfriend’s behaviour.
He can be extremely aggressive during arguments. He sometimes beats himself with objects when he gets angry, and he has also physically assaulted me multiple times. He hit me on my birthday, and he hit me again today. He also body-shames me, degrades me, and sometimes behaves as though his educational and professional achievements make him superior to me.
I keep trying to understand him because I know his caring side. I keep thinking about the five years we have spent together, our plans for marriage, and how difficult it would be to walk away from everything we have built.
Part of me wonders whether his aggression comes from emotional issues, family circumstances, or difficulty controlling his anger. Another part of me is frightened about what my life would look like after marriage if this continues.
I also feel confused because he can be so loving and supportive at other times. I don’t know how to reconcile that version of him with the person who hurts and humiliates me.
My parents have agreed to the marriage, and I am struggling with the thought of telling them what is really happening. I am also scared of throwing away five years of my life and later wondering whether things could have changed.
My questions are:
Can a man genuinely love you and still repeatedly abuse you?
Is there any realistic reason to believe this behaviour will change after marriage?
Am I making excuses for him because I am emotionally attached and have invested five years in this relationship?
If you were in my position, would you end the relationship, even if he promised to change?
How do I move forward when I still love him but am beginning to fear what our future could look like?
I am looking for honest advice from people who have experienced similar situations. Please be direct with me. I don’t want to make a life-changing decision based only on my emotions, but I also don’t want to ignore serious warning signs simply because we have been together for so long.

I (30F) have been with my bf (32M) for 5 year. He was the sweetest partner ever for the first year of our relationship, but it’s gone downhill ever since. One of the biggest turning points was after he met my abusive family. My mom is probably a narcissist (no formal diagnosis but fits the description perfectly), and she clashed hard with my boyfriend. I already had 1 foot out the door with my parents but their fighting lead me to cut ties with them. My parents wanted me to break up with him, he wanted me to cut them off. I cut them off.

I’ve had therapists over the years tell me I am being abused by my boyfriend, emotionally and not directly physically but physically (cornering me, punching holes in walls, throwing things etc) but lately my boyfriend has been telling me I am the abusive one.

He points out ways that I’m behaving like my abusive mom, ways that I’m just like her, ways that I am manipulating him (for example: ordering food for the both - he’s unemployed - as a form of love bombing to make him feel indebted to me and taking advantage of his dependence on me financially) I always felt I was doing something kind, but lately I’ve been questioning my own behavior if it’s something toxic I subconsciously picked up from watching my mom manipulate circumstances to get her way. He often says I am playing the victim, like my mother, to make him seem like a monster and deflect accountability for how my actions caused him to react the way he does.

I am very confused and just wondering how someone can tell if they are the abuser or not. I’ve spent so many years of my life trying to be nothing like my mom, but I also know she always made me feel like the problem so I’m just confused.

Met her on yubo added her on snapchat back in 2021 we got together she told me she lost her leg to cancer which i didn’t judge her for but one night got curious and i checked i know that was bad but i had a feeling she was lying about it long behold her leg was still very much there she was wearing a compression sock so i legit thought she had a fake leg. She told me she had a child who infact was her sisters child she would show me pics and everything and ya know i grew attached but obviously that was lies. She moved in with me and my family and caused nothing only arguments with my family and myself they put her going and i went with her biggest mistake of my life but i was young and stupid. We moved to dublin and stayed in the honeymoon stage for months i had forgiven her lies as i wanted to make things work but life happened and we had to move down to her family things were going ok until they weren’t. Lies went around about me that her own sister put out about me and her uncle and cousins acted the big hard men threatening me adding me into groupchats assaults u name it i endured for 5 years. I cant even walk on my own without watching behind me if i see people walking towards me i feel like its them im a shell of a man after all this. Her mother was also very emotionally abusive would belittle me, curse at me, tell me my ex didn’t want me that we wouldn’t last bc she would make sure of it. Got drunk on several occasions broke my personal phone threatened me with a knife accused me of rape when she was badly twisted from the drink knowing that i had endured that as a child and then accused me of it. My ex stood by and allowed all this and when i raised my voice my ex would tell me to “watch my tone” or thats my “mother” but nothing about “thats my boyfriend “ my mental health suffered badly i was hospitalised on several occasions where i either tried to take my own life or i went mental physiologically. One night it hit boiling point her mother accused me of hitting her i was on facetime to my friend who could see everything and could verify that i didn’t touch her. Her mother rang the guards and the guards made me homeless. I was hungry,drained and very suicidal i felt i hit rock bottom i texted my ex and begged her to come out to me and comfort me i rang her crying my eyes out but her reply was “im not coming out” when i had argued that i chose her over my family she would hang up and say she wasn’t arguing. That night i actively tried to end my life the guards were notified that there was someone acting weird and they came out and signed me into the mental. Ironically karma hit her mother bc she ended up in the hospital a few days later from a stroke and stupidly i went to comfort my ex which led to us being intimate and i felt very used for my body at the stage but even near the end of our of relationship i felt all she wanted was sex and i complied bc i felt like i needed to but honestly i was so depressed with life sex was the last thing on my mind she knew i had abandonment issues but she knowingly done it when i was with her. This is not all of it bc most of it is very bad but this is the jest of it and unfortunately it has altered my brain chemistry in the worst way possible im not living im surviving and I’ll never be the old me again but i am trying to heal bc she always made me feel like i was the issue