Please share

I have not been feeling very positive and self assured lately. It’s like all my friends are going out on trips, having fun or living out their life while I am not doing anything different or interesting. It’s playing a lot on my mental well-being so I decided to stop the time doom-scrolling and checking other people’s lives and focus on my life and happiness. So I have decided to deactivate Instagram. What are the pros and cons with it? Will be grateful for any sort of advice or reassurance.

If you used to be shy, awkward, had very few friends, struggle with talking to people, or have little to no dating experience, how did you change?

How did you go from feeling like you were missing out on life to having a fulfilling social life, close friends, relationships, and experiences?

Seneca and Marcus Aurelius both practiced something called premeditatio malorum, the premeditation of misfortunes. Every so often, usually in the morning, they'd deliberately picture things going wrong, a plan falling through, losing something they valued, meeting difficult people, being treated unfairly. On paper that sounds exactly like catastrophizing, the thing therapists spend a lot of time helping people stop doing. The difference is in the mechanics, not the content. Catastrophizing spirals, one bad thought generates three more, each worse than the last, with no endpoint and no action attached. Premeditatio malorum is bounded and purposeful, you picture a specific, plausible setback, decide in advance how the person you want to be would respond to it, and then you're done, you let the image go. Seneca's actual point wasn't "suffer in advance," he explicitly warned against that, his point was that the sting of bad news comes mostly from its unexpectedness, and a mind that's already rehearsed the scenario once meets it as something familiar instead of something that ambushes it. There's a second effect that gets undersold. Marcus Aurelius opened his day expecting to run into rude, dishonest, ungrateful people, not to become bitter, but so none of them could catch him off guard. People who practice this consistently report it sharpens gratitude too, once you've briefly pictured losing something, the actual having of it stops being invisible background noise. The failure mode is doing this without the boundary, letting the imagined scenario spiral instead of resolving it with a planned response. Has anyone here actually tried this and noticed where it tips from useful into just worrying with extra steps?

Hello all,

There’s one book I keep coming back to. I’ve read it more than ten times, and it has carried me through both my best and worst moments. This summary is my gift to you, and I hope it brings you at least a little of the value it has brought me.

Book 1

• good morals and character
• control of my temper and self-control
• integrity
• manliness
• spirituality and deep respect for the godly
• generosity
• avoidance of wrongdoing
• simplicity of living
• to avoid public schools and hire a private teacher
• to put up with discomfort and not make demands
• to do my own work, mind my own business, and have no time for gossip
• do not sweat the small stuff
• to hear unwelcome truths
• tolerate freedom of speech
• the recognition that I need to train and discipline my character
• feel few needs and tolerate pain
• behave in a comfortable way when people who have angered us want to make up
• to read carefully, to not be satisfied with my own superficial thoughts
• don’t be easily persuaded by people who talk a lot
• not to quickly accept the facile view of others
• independence and constant reliability
• not to be impatient in explanation
• to always be the same man, unchanged in sudden pain, in the loss of a child, in lingering sickness. To see clearly in his living example that a man can combine intensity with relaxation
• Sextus:
  • an unaffected dignity
  • show intuitive concern and sympathy for his friends
  • tolerance of both ordinary people and emptily opinionated
  • an agreeable manner with all
  • display expertise without pretension
• Alexander the Grammarian**:**
  • not to get stuck on mistakes
  • not to constantly correct people
• Fronto:
  • to understand the effect of hypocrisy, caprice, and suspicion in the exercise of absolute rule
• Alexander the Platonist:
  • not to be constantly telling people, I’m too busy, unless I really am
• Catalus:
  • not to shrug off a friend’s criticism, even if it may be an unreasonable complaint, but try to put things right
  • to show respect for your teacher and genuine love for your children
• Severus:
  • love of family, truth and justice
  • rulers who respect the liberty of their people above all else
  • Maximus:
  • self-mastery, resistance to distractions
  • immune to adversity
  • good cheer in all circumstances
  • a nice balance of character both dignified and gentle
  • uncomplaining energy for what needs to be done
  • the trust he inspired in the way he meant stuff and was well-intentioned in all he did
  • proof against surprise or panic
  • in nothing hesitant nor hurried
  • a forgiving and truthful nature
  • no one ever thought himself belittled by him
  • help others and be eager to share, not to be a pessimist, not to doubt your friends affection for you
• My Father:
  • compassion
  • an immovable adherence to decisions made after full consideration
  • indifference to superficial honors
  • hard work and persistence above all else
  • a ready ear for any proposal for the public good
  • to reward impartially
  • a sense of when to push and when to back off
  • self-reliance and cheerfulness
  • his restriction on attempts to flatter him
  • his constant devotion to the empire’s needs and willingness to take responsibility
  • willingness to support people energetically
  • never exhibited rudeness, lost control of himself or turned violent
  • never satisfied with the first impression and leaving a question prematurely
  • the acts of a man who knows exactly what needs to be done, not the glory of its doing
• Gods:
  • that I had a good family, and did not once lose control of myself with them
  • that I had someone, as a ruler, who kept me from being arrogant
  • that I had a brother, whose character challenged me to improve my own, one whose love and affection enriched my life
  • that I had the wife I have: submissive, loving and humble

Book 2

• Today, I will meet people who are ungrateful, meddling, aggressive and malicious. They do this because they cannot differentiate evil from good. The nature of the offender is akin to mine. I cannot be harmed, as no one can infect me with their wrongdoings
• Quit your books, no more desiring, this is not your gift
• You are old. Stop allowing your mind to be a slave, jerking to selfish impulses or mistrusting the future
• Remember how many times you've put this off, how many times you have given the grace of gods and not used it. If you don't use it, it will be gone, and the opportunities will never return
• Concentrate every minute like a Roman, like a man, on any task at hand with vigorous attention with precise analysis, unaffected dignity, human sympathy, and dispassionate justice to vacate your mind from all its other thoughts. Stop letting your emotions override what your mind is telling you
• Self-harm,, my soul, you are doing self-harm. You will have no more opportunity for self-respect. This life of yours is nearly over, and still, you show yourself no honor and have entrusted your happiness to the souls of others
• Do externals tend to distract you? Then stop wandering. Those who are dead to life, have no control over their impulses and thoughts, are drivellers in deed and thought
• You can leave this life at any moment. Think about this in everything you do, say or think
• All the things have been everlasting, going round and round
• The present is all we have, even though we live short or long
• The human soul degrades itself when:
  • Disgruntled at anything that happens
  • It turns its back on another person or sets out to harm, as the souls of the angry do
  • It is overpowered by pleasure or pain
  • It says or does something that is false
  • Allowing its actions and impulses to be without a purpose
• What can guide us?
  • Making sure that the power from within, stays free and safe
  • Superior to pain and pleasure
  • Doing nothing random
  • Dishonestly or with imposture
  • Not dependent on someone else doing it or not doing it
  • Accept whatever happens
  • Accept death in a cheerful spirit, as nothing but the dissolution of elements

Book 3

• We need to hurry, not just because we are closer to death but also because our understanding, might be gone before we get there
• Do not waste the remaining part of your life thinking about others if it's not for the common good. It will keep you from doing useful things
• Your duty is to stand straight, not held straight
• How to act?
  • Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought
  • No surplus of words or unnecessary actions
  • Cheerfulness
• It would be wrong for anything to stand between you and attaining goodness. The applause of the crowd, high-office, wealth or self-indulgence. They might seem compatible for a while, but then sweeps us away and control us. Make your choice and stick to it. Choose what is best and stand your ground without making a show out of it
• What is it that makes an impression on me? What is made up of? How long will it last in nature?
• What qualities do I need to bear it? Tranquility, courage, honesty, trustworthiness, straightforwardness, independence or what?
• If you set yourself to the present task, with all your will and vigor, if you admit no distraction and keep your own divinity pure and stand strong. You will then live a good life and nobody can stop you
• No more wandering. Hurry to the end, end vain hopes, rescue yourself if you have any care for yourself while the opportunity is still there
• A good person means embracing and loving whatever happens to him, saying what is true and doing what is just

Book 4

• No action should be undertaken without aim
• Men seek retreats for themselves - by the sea and in nature. No retreat is better than the one within yourself and within your mind
• Remember that both you and he will be dead in a short time and your names too, will be forgotten
• When someone does you wrong, don't judge things in the way the person wants you to see them, but in plain truth
• What ease of mind you gain when you do not look at what your neighbor has done, thought or said, but only at your actions, make them just, respectful, imbued with good
• Within ten days, the people who hated you will worship you as a god, if you return to your principles and the worship of reason
• No wandering. In every impulse, do what is right. In every thought, think what is certain
• If you seek tranquility, do less and do only what is essential
• Is this necessary or is it not?
• Love what you have learned. And live in commitment to god and never make yourself a tyrant or a slave to any man
• You’re better off not giving the small stuff more time than they deserve
• Your death is soon upon you. Yet, you are not untroubled, free from external factors judgments, kind to all people and following the action of justice
• Look into their directing minds: look what even the wise will avoid to pursue
• We should never be like children to their parents, simply accepting what they are being told
• Human live is brief and trivial
• Be like the rocky headland, standing firm when the waves hit it. You should never say, "This is bad that it happened to me." Instead, say, "I'm happy this happened to me, that I can stand with it without bearing any pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearful of the future". It can happen to every man, but very few can bear it without pain
• For every future sad event, "This is no misfortune, but to bear it true to yourself is true fortune"

Book 5

• When you are reluctant to get up in the morning, tell yourself, "I'm getting ready for a man's work" Do I still then resent it? Is it still tough to do what I was born to do and what is the purpose? Or was I created to keep myself warm in blankets and keep warm? But this is more pleasant. Were you then born for pleasure? All for feeling, not for action?
• When looking for excuses, turn back to virtues that are wholly in your power and live according to them. Integrity, dignity, simplicity, hard work, self-denial, contentment, frugality, kindness, independence, discreation and generosity
• Your mind will take on the character of your most frequent thought, souls are dyed by thoughts
• One sort of person, when he has done kindness to another, is quick also to chalk up the return due to him. A second is not fast in that way, but even so, he privately thinks of the other as his debtor and is well aware of what he has done. A third, is in a way, not even conscious of his actions
• Welcome all that happens to you, even if it seems cruel, because its purpose leads to the health of the universe and the prosperity and success of Zeus. He would not bring this to anyone if it did not bring advantage to the whole
• To what use, am I now putting my soul? What do I currently have in my directing mind? What soul do I, after all, have? Is that of a child?
• Things of themselves cannot touch the soul at all. They cannot enter the soul, touch or move it. The soul alone turns and moves itself around, making all the externals presented to it cohere with the judgement it thinks itself worthy of
• What is not harmful to the city is not harmful to the citizen. When you imagine you have been harmed, apply this criterion. If harm is done, do not be angry but demonstrate what he himself has failed to see
• Do not let other people's grief carry you away indiscriminately. Help them, yes, as best as you can, and the case deserves. Do not imagine their loss as any real harm
• "There was a time I met luck at every turn" But luck is the good fortune you determine for yourself and good fortune consists of good inclinations of the soul, good impulses and good actions

Book 6

• If you are doing your proper duty, let it not matter if you are warm or cold, whether you are sleepy or well-slept, whether men speak badly or well of you, even whether you are on the point of death or doing something else. It suffices to make the best move we can
• The best revenge is to not be like your enemy
• When circumstances force you to distress, quickly return to yourself. Do not stay out of rhythm for longer than necessary you will master the harmony by constantly going back to it
• Do not imagine that, if something is hard for you to achieve, it is therefore impossible to for any man: consider that anything that is humanly possible, lies within your reach too
• I shall gladly change if anyone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action. I seek truth, which never harmed anyone. The harm is to persist in one's self-deception and ignorance
• I do my duty, the other things do not distract me. They are either inanimate or irrational or have lost the road and are ignorant of the true way
• Since you have reason and they do not, treat each animal with generosity and decency, treat men with social concern
• Reflect on how many events are happening in each one of us, both bodily and mental, at the same tiny fragment of time
• How cruel it is not to allow people to strive for what seems to be their interest and advantage. You are forbidding them when you fuss they are wrong. Show them, teach them, do not fuss
• Disgraceful if, in this life where your body does not fail, your soul should fail first
• Strive to remain the same man, philosophy wished you to be. Revere the gods, look after the man. Life is short
• Keep yourself simple, good, pure, serious, unpretentious, a friend of justice, god-fearing, kind, full of attention, strong for your proper work
• As a pupil of Antonius: His energy for all that was done according to reason, his constant equability, his piety, his serene expression, his gentleness, his drive to take a firm grasp of affairs. How he would never put anything aside until he looked closer into it and understood it clearly, how he would tolerate those who unfairly blamed him without returning the blame; he was never rushed into anything. He was not listening to malicious gossip; he was an accurate judge of men's character and actions, slow to criticize, immune to rumours and suspicion, how we were content by very little, his love of work, and his stamina. He was a man to stay with the same task until evening. Constant and fair in his friendship, tolerant of frank opposition, and delighted to be shown a better way
• Fit yourself for the matters which have fallen your lot, and love those people whom destiny has cast you, but your love must be genuine
• One person contributes in one way, another in another, and there is room even for the critic who tries to oppose or destroy. It's up to you in which category you place yourself. Indeed, the one who governs the whole, will make good use of you and welcome you
• In this life, it's only one thing of value. To live life in justice and truth, tolerant of those who are neither just nor true
• Try to persuade them, but act even if they are not persuaded whenever the principle of justice directs. Bring forth a different virtue if resistance appears
• Accustom yourself not to disregard of what anyone else has to say, as far as possible enter into the mind of the speaker
• How many with whom I came into the world have already left

Book 7

• A person’s worth is measured by what he values
• Is my mind sufficient for this task? If yes, I do it. If not, I either cede the work to someone better able to accomplish what is at this particular time the need and benefit of the community
• Your principles are living things. How else could they be deadened, except by the extinction of the corresponding mental images? And the constant rekindling of these is up to you. "I'm able to form a judgment about this event. Then why am I troubled?" All that lies outside my mind is nothing to it. Learn this, and you stand upright. You can live once more
• In conversation, one is ought to follow closely what is said, in any impulse, follow precisely what takes place
• I myself am not yet harmed unless I judge this occurrence as something terrible and I refuse to do so. Whatever anyone says or does, I must be a good man
• Do not be ashamed of help. It is your task to achieve your assigned duty. Do not let the future trouble you. You will come to it
• Do not dream of possessions that you do not have. Be grateful for your blessings today and how much you would miss them if they got lost
• Stretch your thought to what is being said. Try to get inside
• Everywhere, it is up to you to honor god, to treat men who are in your presence with justice
• Love what falls in your way and is fated for you
• The art of living is more like wrestling than dance, that it stands ready for what comes and is not thrown by the unforeseen
• Do not look around at the directing mind of others, keep looking straight ahead where nature is leading you - what happens to you and what you must do yourself
• Pain is not unendurable as long as you remember its limits and do not exaggerate it in your mind. So when you find yourself complaining, "You are giving in to pain"
• Perfection of character is this: To live each day as it is your last, without frenzy, pretense and apathy
• It is ridiculous not to escape from one's vices, which is possible, while trying to escape the vices from other people, which is impossible
• When you have done good, and another has benefited, why do you still look, as fools do, for a third thing besides credit for good work or a return?
• You know from experience that in all your wanderings, you have not found the good life, not in logic, wealth, glory, or indulgence.
  • Where do you then find it? In doing what a man's nature require
  • How? By having principles that govern his actions and impulses
  • What are these principles? Being just, free, self-controlled and brave
• How does this sit with me? Will I regret it? Concentrate on the matter at hand and see it for what it is. Remember what being a good man is and rehearse what nature demands of you, then do it straight and unswerving, or say what you best think is right. Always with kindness, integrity, and sincerity
• Let nobody ever hear you blame palace life, don't hear yourself blaming it
• Always test your mental impressions, identify the cause of the emotions and apply analysis of logic
• Turn it inside out and see what it becomes in face of death, sickness and old age
• Concentrate on the subject or act in question
• Doing something? I do it with reference to benefiting mankind. Something happening to me? I accept it with reference to god
• When you speak to anyone, be straightforward, not pedantic. Use language which rings true. You must compose your life action by action, and focus on doing it as best as possible. And no one can prevent you from that. But there will be external obstacles? No obstacle to self-control, justice and reason
• Accept humbly. Let go easily
• Do not let the panorama of life oppress you. Do not get affected by troubles that may have occurred in the past or future. Ask yourself, What is it I cannot endure or support in this work? You will be ashamed of the answer
• Do not be dilatory in action, muddled in communication or vague in thought. Don't let your mind settle into depression or elation. Enjoy yourself a bit
• Do you want to praise a man who curses himself three times an hour? Do you want to please a man who can't please himself?
• Men are born for the sake of each other. So, either teach or tolerate

Book 8

• When you meet a person, what does this person hold about the good and bad in life?
• If the choice is yours, why do the thing?

Book 9

• Erase the print of imagination, quench desire and stop impulses: keep your directing mind its own master
• Work, do not work as a miserable drudge or in any expectation of pity or admiration. One aim only: action or inaction as a civic demands
• Today, I escaped from all the bothering circumstances. They were all inside me, just my judgments
• Good or ill in the social being lies not in feeling but in action
• Just like you are a complementary part of a social system, your every action should complement a life of social principle. If any action of yours, then, do not have a direct or indirect relation to the social end, it pulls your life apart and destroys its unity
• You have endured innumerable troubles by not letting your directing mind do what it is made for. Enough
• When someone blames, hates or criticizes you, go to their soul to see what they are made of. You will realize it's no point to be anxious about their opinion of you. Be kind to them
• Start straight away if it's within your power. Do not look over your shoulder to see if people will know
• Take a view from above, look at the thousand flocks and herds. Consider the lives lived long before you, the ones that will be lived long after you: and how many you have never even heard your name, how many will soon forget it, and how many may praise you now but quickly turn to blame. Reflect that neither fame nor memory, not anything at all, has any importance worth thinking of
• Calm acceptance of what comes from a cause outside yourself, and justice in all the activity of your causation
• Loss is nothing more than change. Similar things have happened from time everlasting
• Enough of this miserable life, enough of this grumbling? Why are you troubled? What is new in this? What is it that drives you mad? The cause? Then face it
• If he does wrong, the harm is to himself
• Whenever you are offended by someone lack of shame, is it possible to have no shameless people in the world? No. Do not then ask for the impossible. This class of people also has to exists
• What more do you want, man, from a kind act? It is not enough that you have done something constant with nature? Do you have to put a price on it? As if the eye demanded a return for seeing. Man was made to do good

Book 10

• Remember that you are born to bear all that your judgment can decide bearable or tolerate in action if you represent it to yourself as a duty or benefit
• If he is wrong, teach him kindly and show him what he missed. If you cannot do that, blame yourself or perhaps not even yourself
• Claim your entitlements to these epithets - good, decent, truthful, in mind clear, cooperative and independent
• To feel fear, then pain and anger is to be a fugitive
• Whenever you are offended by someone else's wrongdoing, think about what similar wrongdoing you have done. This, will dampen your anger
• No more discussions of what makes a good man. Be one
• The eye must look at all there is to see and not say, I only want pale colors - this is a symptom of the disease
• What is his point of reference here?

Book 11

• Just as those who try to block you from your path, cannot divert you from principled action. Have a mild response to them. To be angry at them is a weakness, than to abandon your course of action and capitulate in panic
• Someone despises me? That is his concern
  • How do I regard my relation to them and the fact that we were born to each other? Always start from the first principles
  • What sort of people are they in bed and at the table? What kind of behaviors do their opinions impose on them
  • If they do what is right, no complaint. Wrong, then they are ignorant
  • You have many faults and are no different
  • You are not even sure they are doing wrong. To know, you must know much more detail before pronouncing with certainty
  • When you are high in indignation and loss of patience, remember we are here for a short amount of time and soon in our graves
  • It's not their actions that trouble our minds; it's our judgments of them. Remove this judgment and your anger is gone
  • The greater grief comes from the consequent anger and pain, rather than the original cause that caused it
  • Kindness is invincible. Show him sensitively how things are. Your advice must not be ironic or critical. It should be affectionate, not a lecture or demonstration to impress others, but in a way, you would talk to him irrespective of company
  • In your moments of being angry, remember that there is nothing manly about being angry. A gentle calm is much more human. The gentle have the strength, courage, and sinew, not the indignant or complaining. The closer to control of emotions, the closer to power. Anger is a sign of weakness and pain
  • It is madness to believe that bad men should do no cruelty, that is asking for the impossible. It is cruel tyranny, to allow them to do this to others, while demanding that they do not do this for you
  • In writing and reading, you must learn before you teach. Yet more so, in life

Book 12

• All you pray for can be yours now, if you are generous to yourself. If you leave the past behind, entrust the future to the providence and solely focus on the present with reverence and justice. To reverence, so that you come to love you given lot. To justice, you are open in words and actions, speaking truth, observing law and proportion in all you do. Let nothing stand in your way, not what anyone else says or thinks
• I have often wondered how everyone loves themselves more than anyone else, but rates their judgment of themselves below that of others
• Look at causation stripped bare of its covers; look at the ulterior reference in any action. What is pain? Pleasure?
• What liberty man has, to do only what god approves and to welcome all that god assigns to him
• What else can he do with a state of mind like this? So, if you are keen, cure his state
• If it is not right, don't do it. If it is not true, don't say it
• When you worry at any circumstance, you have forgotten several things. Everything that happens was so in the past, will be the same in the future and is happening now across the whole world, that each of us lives only in the present moment and the present is all we lose
• Continually review, those whose particular anger took to the extremes, those who reached the greatest heights of glory. Where are they now? Smoke and ashes
• Think of how worthless all the striving is. Just make yourself self-controlled and obedient to the gods
• What a tiny part of time has been allotted to us and is soon vanished. Reflecting on all this, thinking nothing significant other than the pursuit of where your own nature leads and passive acceptance of what nature brings you

I often feel like I have an invisible sign above my head that says, “I’m insecure, and you’re free to take advantage of me.”
I’ve felt this way for a long time. It’s almost as if certain people can immediately sense something about me that makes them think they can disrespect me, talk down to me, push my boundaries, or treat me however they want.

What do you think makes someone come across as insecure, vulnerable, or easy to take advantage of?

Is it body language, the way they speak, being too nice, avoiding confrontation, or something else?

Have you ever felt this way yourself? And if so, did you figure out what you were doing differently from people who seem to naturally command respect?

I n my mid 30's dont have many friends, somw of them live out of town, some are just busy on nights when im free, and some have issues and makes it difficult to hangout with them..

So I dont really go out much on my own i feel like peiple judge me for it, I dont like going to bars/restaurants on my own its a bit of a downer I find

When I go for walks or to the gym people often keep to themselves, coworkers always say they are busy when I offer them to join me for a game of pool or mentioned im interested in trying a new place or seeing a movie..

Havnt met anyone to form a relationship romantically or platonically in a long time..

I'm struggling with standing up for myself, and I'd really appreciate advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

I'm very introverted, quiet, and non-confrontational. When someone treats me badly, disrespects my boundaries, or does something hurtful to me in public, I usually freeze and say nothing. I don't know how to respond in the moment, and I end up letting things pass because I don't want to cause a scene or get into trouble.

The problem is that some people seem to take advantage of this. Whenever they get the opportunity to do something mean or disrespectful without others noticing, they do it. Then, afterward, they come and talk to me as if nothing happened, and I end up talking to them normally too.

I know I don't have to be friends with these people, and I don't owe them friendliness after they've mistreated me. But in the moment, I struggle to react, and afterward, I feel so disappointed in myself. I keep asking myself why I didn't say anything, why I let them get away with it, and why I keep acting normally around them.

I think part of the problem is that I just want to live peacefully. I don't like conflict, arguments, or drawing attention to myself. But avoiding confrontation is starting to affect how I feel about myself. I feel powerless, and I'm tired of repeatedly finding myself in situations where people disrespect me and I don't defend myself.

For those of you who have struggled with this, how did you learn to stand up for yourselves? How do you respond to people who mistreat you, especially in public, without freezing or becoming aggressive? How do you set boundaries and stop acting like everything is fine afterward?

I'm not trying to become an extrovert or someone who argues with everyone. I just want to be able to protect myself, maintain my dignity, and feel at peace with myself without letting other people walk all over me.

I'd especially appreciate practical advice for someone who struggles to find the right words in the moment.

There is no life after this.

A person might be f*cked up or sabotaged to think he is less for this world, that he must become someone to live. But after a while, you realize, or you will, that the counting has never paused for your little self-improvement, nor for mine.

While you feed your brain new tactics, new principles and while you are seeking to internalize opposing beliefs than those of yours, time, your time, and mine, has never paused. It's running, constantly counting to D-Day.

Every passing day, 24 hours are gone, and 24 hours are added to your account. And before you even feel those 24 hours, they're already being counted down. Then, one day, perhaps today or a random day we might not even be able to predict, an X hours have been added to your account and they are not 24, and that's the D-Day.

This message is for me, and for you whomever is reading. A reminder, that a river's destination is to flow and dump its water into the sea. The river, never had to become a better river, nor a person has to become a better person in order to live. You are already alive, ready for life or not but your time is running. The purpose in this life is to be alive, because realize it or not, you are already.

And worry not, there will always be something to improve about yourself, same like a river it too hits roadblocks or ends up carving a slightly new path through the lands that you can observe in rivers nowadays that had completely different paths historically.

Bottom point, do not wait on self-improvement before you allow yourself to live, nor make it your purpose.

This one got my mind busy for a while now

Why should you pursue things in the first place when you can just be content and satisfied with everything as it is right now? People on the internet always assume that achievement is inherently desirable, but I struggle to actually connect with that. Why should I spend my time grinding things at all if it's going to be more painful and difficult than just living a normal, mildly content life? What do you do if the wish to achieve something isn't as strong as to convince yourself to put in hard work?

Hi everyone. F18. I masturbate everyday. I want to stop for many reasons, today's my first day trying to stop. I'm just wondering if stopping will benefit my chronic migraine in any way? I'm not sure if masturbation worsens chronic migraine, so I'm just curious.

I can’t find myself in a long-term relationship. Meeting new people only to realize incompatibility soon after on a loop. My issue isn’t meeting people but more doubting I’ll ever meet someone I want to spend my life with. How do I deal with this?

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Day 7 of fixing my life

So Here is the day 7

My girlfriend broke up with me today because I couldn't give her much time or she expected more from me , She's right though , am not the type of guy anybody would want tbh ....but hey , I try to improve myself .....so I guess that counts a little bit maybe ??? Idk , I always mess things up idk why

But anyways , let's proceed

I woke up at 6:40 am and today I did the following

Health -

1) Break day - No workout as today was rest day

But had to do some hectic works of family which required me to cycle a total of 4 km so yeah some physical movement definetly happened

Mind -

1) Meditation

2) Chess 1 match

3) Book reading ( Never finished , Sorrounded by idiots , Slight edge )

4) Language learning ( German )

5) Brain exercises ( Fast mental calculations and memory exercises )

6) Read 2 pages of encyclopedia

Academics -

1) today I gave another test of 3 hours the test was tough then previous and am happy that it was a bit tough , makes me excited to try another

2) Watched one lecture of physics by professor miller in YouTube

Finance -

Made some money and saved it

Daily affairs -

1) Read the newspaper and got updated with the latest happenings with the day

Phase 2 launch is successful ,

I am actively trying to improve my posture and maintaining a healthy posture ....will add some more improvements slowly slowly

I failed to improve my sleep habits as it's currently 11:26 pm and I have to wake up at 6:20 am ( less than 7 hour sleep ) I already feel miserable because of it

Anyways , that's what I did today

Will update day 8 tomorrow night , bye

Thanks for reading

I am a new grad that just entered the workforce. Want to get some advice from those who have been in the industry for few years now for some career advancement advice. I am very ambitious and really hope I can become successful in corporate

had a proper day last week. work, dinner, a load of admin. knackered by the end but normal knackered.

then had a day where i sat there weighing up three personal things i could start, started none of them, and felt wrecked by about 6pm. i'd done nothing. somehow worse than the day i did everything.

my theory is it's the open loops rather than the effort, three half-decided things nagging at you all day. though it could also just be that doing nothing makes you feel bad and i'm dressing that up as a theory.

anyone found something that helps with this? closing them off, or just having fewer open in the first place?

Do you walk after meals? Saw this reco that walking 10 mins after meals is recommended. I just tried it but used a youtube video. Just wonder what others do.

I was posting some photos I take time to time but I removed most of them today. I had limited interaction with other accounts. I tried to socialize more and decided to write a casual message an account I follow since years. They blocked me. That made me feel even worse, feeling like trash for attempting.

This was not as easy as it sounds, mainly due to the mental exertion I had to place towards this. For a long time, I could not get myself to do anything art-related, despite it being my "hobby" and wanting to do it. Because of this, I see myself just getting started on this as an achievement in its own right. I don't want to move too fast with the progress though; 45 minutes later after starting and working on it on my computer, and my head already hurts. I still have to learn and see lessons and experiences for myself as I journey to a better state of mind.

While many believe that time should be taken off of social media (and they're not wrong), I don't see the social media aspect as what I'm celebrating on, but the fact that I'm doing what I see as a little graphic design. Considering that this is the main job position that I want to start off on in my career, it's nice to know that I'm making strides to put my mind onto a familiar, yet unfamiliar experience. In fact, just expressing my victory over merely starting my banner art has proven to be something I'm still not used to yet, because my head is still tingly and trying to push away from all the new experience, when it can't!

Sorry if some of the things I've said sound like they're on repeat; I'm just glad that I was able to get through what I view as a small, but difficult and important step! I hope, and contnue to hope, that I can continue with this growth of mine, no matter how slow it has to take!

Hi,
I am a 21 year old female and I think I have a bit of an ego. I believe it is negatively affecting my life, I feel like everyone is thinking about me and focused on me when that isn’t true of course. I feel like I’m in the centre of attention and it is exhausting because I feel embarrassed and judged for everything. I would really like a book talking about the ego and how to humble yourself basically, for women by women.

Please feel free to leave suggestions! Thank you :)

Been in therapy for more than 3 years now. Am still wondering how to make progress in therapy.

I am fully aware of the fact that most of the effort in therapy needs to come from my side. How... is another question.

Had another therapist in the past but changed coz she went on maternity leave suddenly, and I had to scramble to find a substitute. Felt like the substitute works better so I am sticking with her for now.

I felt better during sessions. But often felt very lost on how to cope in between the therapy sessions. I told the old therapist the same, she gave some tips to use in between sessions. But I am really bad at routines without constant reminders so ended up doing it on and off. Reported to therapist and we didn't really end up doing much on it.

After two years, the therapist just said that therapy just takes time and it's more on feeling than doing anything concrete. Ok?

With the new therapist, she gave me some things to do in between sessions when I told her the issues I face in life. Tried it, found difficulties in following through in some parts and reported to therapist. She said we would then explore why it doesn't work and see how we can go about it.

Is that normal for therapy?

I feel like I am just not trying hard enough in therapy which is why things aren't getting better

Hey everyone, I’m 24 years old and have been experiencing neck pain quite frequently lately. Due to years of poor posture, spending a lot of time working at my PC, and not getting enough physical exercise, I’ve developed a rounded upper back and forward head posture. I’m already trying to improve this through exercise and more physical activity.
However, I still have an old bed with an old mattress. When I lie down, I notice that my pelvis sinks down, causing my lower back to arch too much instead of staying in a more neutral position.
That’s why I’ve been thinking about getting a box spring bed. What should I look out for when buying one? How much should I spend? Should the bed be firm or hard? Do you have any recommendations? I don’t want to spend too much money, but I also don’t want to buy something I’ll end up regretting.
I generally sleep through the night, but I never really feel refreshed in the morning. I rarely wake up thinking, “Wow, I slept so well and feel really great and full of energy.”

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman is one of the most important books on human psychology and behavioral economics, but it can be a heavy, dense read.

Here is a comprehensive executive summary of the entire book broken down into key concepts and practical applications.

1. System 1 vs. System 2 Thinking

Kahneman divides the human brain into two virtual actors:

System 1 (Fast): Operates automatically and rapidly with little or no effort. It handles pattern recognition, gut reactions, and emotional responses.

System 2 (Slow): Allocates attention to effortful mental operations, including complex computations, logical analysis, and deliberate focus.

The Main Problem: System 2 is lazy and conserves energy. It frequently accepts System 1’s quick intuitions without fact-checking them, which leads to predictable cognitive biases.

1. Major Mental Shortcuts & Biases

WYSIATI (What You See Is All There Is): System 1 creates stories based only on known facts and ignores missing variables, leading to overconfidence in incomplete data.

Anchoring: Unconscious bias toward initial numbers or impressions, regardless of their relevance (e.g., initial price negotiations).

Availability & Representativeness: We judge how likely an event is based on how easily an example comes to mind or how closely it matches a stereotype, rather than statistical probabilities.

Framing Effect: How information is presented changes our choices. "90% survival rate" feels much safer than "10% mortality rate."

1. Prospect Theory & Risk (Why We Make Bad Bets)

Classical economics assumes humans make rational choices, but Kahneman proved we don't:

Loss Aversion: The psychological pain of losing something is roughly 2x stronger than the pleasure of gaining the equivalent thing.

Sunk Cost Fallacy: Investing more resources into a failing project simply to avoid acknowledging the initial loss.

1. The Two Selves: Experiencing vs. Remembering

Experiencing Self: Feels the present moment.

Remembering Self: Writes the story of the experience and makes future choices based on it.

Peak-End Rule: Our memory ignores duration (Duration Neglect) and only cares about two things: the most intense moment (Peak) and how the event ended (End).

1. How to Apply This to Daily Life

Conduct a "Premortem": Before starting any major goal or project, pretend you're a year in the future and it completely bombed. Write down all the reasons why it failed. This overcomes overconfidence and planning fallacies.

Force System 2 Engagement: When facing important decisions (career, investments, major purchases), build forced pauses or checklists to stop System 1 from taking over.

Separate Process from Outcome: Good decisions can yield bad results due to luck/randomness. Don't judge past decisions purely on outcome.

Hope this saves you guys some time! Let me know if you want clarification on any specific concept.

Hey guys! sorry this is kind of a rant? basically recently my friend told me when she was out with her friends, this guy i know (but i am not close to, just my friends friend) said a joke about me to my friend and his girlfriend joined in (a girl i really liked and i think im pretty close to) joined in saying something like “dont let her get too close to …” basically making me look like a fool and just like that i do too much and stuff. after hearing this i was super sad because i realized this happens way too often.
The first guy, when we were younger and i knew nothing about him, apparently would just always make fun of me and how i looked. After hearing what he would say about me i quickly changed how i was with him and i would avoid having to talk to him or be close to him, fearing that he would use whatever material he gets to make fun of me. However every-time i do have to talk to him i always try to be as nice as possible. his gf on the other hand i have always adored and loved. i was never rude to her ever or been mean. but i realized that everytime she talks about me she just always makes fun of me.
not only that but i noticed a lot of people i know just all talk about me or make fun of me, but it’s people im not close to at all.
I also had my highschool bestfriend apparently portray me as the devil himself to her other friends and that spread out. people thought i was evil and just mean. when we got older, i became closer to one of the friends she would tell all these things to. and that friend told me everything my past best friend would say and she then told me, i was shocked i really thought you were a horrible person but it’s completely not true, you’re a very kind person and i feel bad for how a lot of people see you as. Im really not trying to victimize myself at all. but i feel like everything i do to fix myself just doesn’t help and i feel so sad about it. I know people see me as a joke and just don’t respect me, but it’s so unfair to me especially since it’s people who don’t know me at all. i have done everything! i changed my style because people thought i looked like a grandma. i tried becoming more quiet and avoid making eye contact with people because people would always say “your so annoying” when i was growing up. i don’t know what to do, i get people will be like this but it’s just so mean to me especially when i know i try to only move with kindness because i know how it feels to be picked on. i really apologize for the long rant

i feel like i don't want to live another day i'm so sick of everything. im 28 and partly i work for one company and on another part i do things that i passionate about, earn from it some too.

but i'm soooooo sick of already being 28 and i do works at that company and just getting slightly above minimum and then doing my things and putting x amount of money on it and effort and hours and just being incapable to profit form it, because this world feels so saturated with new business, new inventions, new stores, new everything.

i know it is just complaning, but i'm soooo sick i'm sick of doing effort and sitting with okay-ish life.

other girls just marry rich guys and don't worry a day and i fucking crying.

i HATE that i don't have mentality to date someone rich, i just don't fall in love at all.

i'm here sitting with stupid bullshit on which i spend more energy and money and NOTHING just misreable.

and seeing everyone just being rich and famous with their successful business at age 14 or whatever.

sorry for my english it sucks too like my whole life, i dont want to do anything ever again, i don't even want to breathe

I’m a 30 year old female. I work from home 99% of the time and my role is pretty relaxed so I can start working (from bed) anytime between 9-10.

I feel like as a result, I have zero discipline in my life to get up early in the morning as I don’t have to get ready and leave for work.

For the past few months I’ve found it near impossible to wake up earlier than 9 to go to the gym. I set 15 alarms, I’ve tried alarms that make you do maths equations, put an alarm far away across my room. All that happens is I wake up, walk to the alarm/solve the equation, then go straight back to bed. I then wake up 2 hours later annoyed with myself for missing the gym AGAIN.

Please help, what has worked for you? Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I’m in such a rut.

Edited to add:
Because of faith commitments, I can’t go to bed any earlier than midnight. I own a business too so from 9am to 9pm my day is pretty much back to back, sometimes it’s hard to even find time to eat. I usually get home by 10 pm during the week and by the time I’ve eaten and taken some time to myself, it’s usually around 11-12.

Second edit to answer a few questions

1. I used to go in the evenings during COVID but I would spend the whole day dreading it. Once I had a PT that could only meet at 7am, I found I preferred it. I would be too tired to think about what I was doing, almost doing the exercises on autopilot. By the time I was fully awake by 9 am, it was as if I’d worked out in my sleep, had completed an entire gym session and I still had the whole day ahead of me
2. I have a good diet focused around protein and fruit and vegetables. However, I do take migraine pills that make me sleepy (in talks with my doctor now about changing them)

Final edit
Thank you so so much to everyone for your feedback! I woke up feeling like a bum today but can now see that my issue wasn’t willpower but that I wasn’t giving my body enough time to sleep.
I’m now going to try going to the gym at night before I get home, will be tough at first but I’m sure I’ll eventually get used to it.

Appreciate you all!