My friend is the sweetest person and didn’t really make a thing out of it, but honestly I was so shocked.. like she wore the whitest white she could find😭 she seemed like a nice lady and they seem to get along fine so I just don’t understand if she’s just dumb or what the deal is

It didn't phase me that night honestly, but like DAMN. My friends apparently wanted to kick her out but didn't want to bother me with anything else that could be stressful (I love my friends so much). I found it pretty funny when I found out, and everyone who saw her was judging HARD, so it was whatever. She would be the person to do that though. Everyone said it haha. I just wanted to share the audacity. In the picture, I'm on the left and she is on the right. I'm honestly pretty sure the dress is supposed to be a very light blue?? Still insane to me haha. It's also floral like a wedding dress. My old boss said we looked like a lesbian couple getting married in that picture and we totally do.

Side note: you may be thinking, "wow that's crazy, but she must have somehow not known." Well, it was in the dress code, which I will also show below :)

Edit: i wish I could add a better picture of my dress because it was so gorgeous and soooo many people have seen this post now. There's a comment buried somewhere that has it haha

Grooms brothers GF Worn a white lace outfit with matching white lace head peice. Rude!!!!

UPDATE: my Husband called his parents!
https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/s/EJtXsOMv8c

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Yup. Cannot believe this happened to me.

I arrived at the wedding venue and started to say, "Wow, you look gr...." and midway through my sentence, realized what the hell she was wearing: an all white, floor-length, chiffon dress. I quickly left to go find my bridesmaids, who hadn't seen her yet, and they offered to give her a shawl to cover up but that would likely have made things worse and potentially interfered with the, otherwise, wonderful day. We were all in complete disbelief it was happening but everyone kept their cool.

His mother had sent me a picture of a colored dress months before the wedding and it was perfect. So the surprise was even more of a shock when she showed up in not only a different dress, but a white one. She even had a matching shawl. What's crazy is my new FIL had a tie and pocket square that matched her previous outfit, so we're curious if he even knew about her antics.

Our photographer is changing her dress to the original color she chose in all the pictures and I cannot wait for her to see what we did. Funny enough, the dress looks great in that color. We're waiting a few days to bring up how disrespectful this was to them and just flying high off the fact that our wedding was absolutely perfect in every other way and we're finally married after many years of being together and a ton of planning!!

It seemed intentional but we are not going to let it destroy our relationship but it's certainly going to tarnish it for a bit. Never ever saw this coming!

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Edit/Update:

We are based in the US where it is, unless otherwise stated, extremely well-known to not wear white and it is very disrespectful to do so.

I will not be speaking with her, my husband will be. We talked about it last night and he is going to eventually bring it up. Right now, we are so happy and thrilled with being married, we're riding on cloud nine and it's not the focus. Oh, and we're damn exhausted!

I will update you all with the reaction to the photos when we get them!

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EDIT 2: Removed some details as this story now shows up on Google and in some minor news/blog articles

I have no idea how this ended up on my TikTok that is usually just BTS and cats, but please enjoy. I’m surprised they weren’t already posted.

Hello!

Warning: English is not my native language.

Context: I am from Argentina, my husband is american, we live in Argentina and in weddings white is reserved for the bride

I am wondering about my mom and her clothing in the weddings.

My uncle married some years ago, I attached one photo. My mom is wearing a 100% white dress with a red belt. I married some months ago and I tought the thing about her wearing white that day at my uncles wedding was just a confusion or an accident. But when she arrived at my Civil Wedding, she was wearing totally white again, I attached one photo...

I got something upset that day but oh well. My church ceremony was about to be celebrated 1 month and a half after the civil wedding. Therefore, I had a conversation with her, saying that I didnt want the situation to repeat at the Church Wedding since that one was the most important for me and my husband. She understood, she said sorry and said that when she goes shopping she finds that the most beautiful and formal clothing are always white, and she likes white clothes the most. She just think white looks better, according to her and thats why she did what she did in both weddings. But she said she would find something appropiate for the Church Wedding to not upset me anymore. I said okay.

I attached a photo of my Church Wedding. There is an improvement, since her pants/trousers are brown! However, I come here to Reddit to understand her blouse/shirt. Its a light beige color, I like to think. But I would like to know your opinions. I told her that the color is slightly pushing the limits but she says that its not exactly white. Idk if I am over reacting but since the Church Wedding more than a month passed and I am still thinkiing about this...

The dresscode was summer pastel chique, so think easter colors. The gf of the grooms brother wore a sage green (wedding) dress that in no way, shape or form appeared to be sage green, or any other color.

The veil she's carrying was the flower girl's (her daughter) This was after the MIL had asked the bride if she could wear a white jumpsuit to the wedding. To which the bride obviously said no.

Hi, so I'm the bride (middle) and I included another guest in my cropping to show the dress code (Sunday best/dressy casual)

The guest on the left's dress was floor length and when I saw it in the lighting during the ceremony, my first thought was it was white.

Many of my bridesmaids said something to me. I said something to my husband, mom, and MOH and they all agreed, it was white. Rather than have one of my other friends attending offering to spill wine on her for me, I chose to speak with her and just ask about it. I was absolute drunk at that point but it had gone along the lines of why she chose the dress. Though a friend present did tell me this morning I came off as very passive aggressive.

I remember her response well, she was adamant that the dress was cream not white and that there's a difference and no one but me had said anything to her about it. She said anyone would be able to tell that it's not white.

She also claimed it was the only thing she had available to wear, which I highly doubt because she works for a bank, I'm sure she has plenty of appropriate business casual clothes that would have looked fine. I plan to just move on from it, but I did think it was highly inappropriate. In traditional Western/Christian weddings, there is ONE color reserved for the bride. Each guest has every other color under the sun to choose from. She also knew my dress had a lot of lace detail because we hung out after I had gone wedding dress shopping and I showed her a picture. It's not an outshining the bride thing for me, it's just a respect thing. And I feel a bit disrespected especially because when I had confronted her, she refused to see my side of it. If it was floral, patterned, or pastel, I'd have been fine with it. I even offered champagne and taupe as colors available to my bridesmaids, though none of them chose to wear it because they felt personally that it was too close to white.

Soooo.. 2 girls decided to wear white dresses at our wedding. It was this Saturday.

I didn’t comment on it, but I was def not ok with it.

We talked to our photographers about having them removed from all our photos, or change the colors of their dresses.

I can add photos of their dresses, but we haven’t gotten the pictures back yet.

One of the girls even asked my sister about the dress and she told her it most definitely wouldn’t be ok with me, but that she should ask. And she then decided not to ask me..

Reupload to blur out the faces. She double down and made a FB post about how women shouldn't tear each other down.....

I honestly thought this kind of nonsense was a myth or something that only happened overseas, but it happened at my childhood best friend's wedding.

Small wedding, about 30 guests, tight budget, beautiful cottage venue. The bride had a made-to-measure white dress done months in advance. The invitation explicitly stated NO WHITE OR LIGHT COLORS.

A couple of months before, the groom's brother got a new date (not even a girlfriend, from what I heard). The bride didn't want to invite her, but the girl insisted on coming, and the groom's mother backed her up, so she got an invite out of "education."

She shows up in a "champagne" dress. It looked white in photos, it looked white in person, and it looked white next to the bride. Both dresses also had the exact same draped front style.

I went up to her and said I had a red dress in my bag if she wanted to borrow it (I had three options – the red one would fit her best due to height difference). She asked what I meant. I said she was wearing white. She said it was champagne and not the same as the bride's. I said it was white. She insisted it was champagne. I said "but you're at a wedding." She made a face, crossed her arms, and shut down for the entire ceremony.

Afterwards, the groom's mother pulled me aside and said I embarrassed her dear daughter-in-law and made her cry – she came from far away, woke up at 4 AM for makeup, etc. I pointed out the invitation said no white.

Then she put on a little jacket to cover the dress.

The jacket was white.

A white jacket over the white dress.

The gossip spread everywhere. The bride's mom and the coordinator (a family friend) said they were glad someone said something because they couldn't.

By lunch, she spilled a drink on herself and went upstairs to change into a black dress. She had other options the whole time. She just chose to wear white.

EDIT: As pointed out in the comments I've made the mistake of using education instead of politeness because in Portuguese educação means both things.

EDIT 2: In regards to the unwanted guest/BIL date/etc. Here in Brazil the term MIL / DIL is used more lightly, the mother of the groom specifically caller her "minha nora", so I translated as DIL despite them not being married.

Just need to vent….

Got married a couple of weeks ago and can’t stop thinking about it. I thought his sister and I got along well, no issues.

For our engagement party, she was the only attendee in cream and white besides me, the bride, in a white dress. Gave her the benefit of the doubt - it’s just our engagement, she came from out of province, etc etc.

Then came the giant texts about how offended her and her husband were about having a child-free wedding and how their kids were more important than all my cousins kids, so there should be an exception.

Wedding day arrived, and it being such a whirlwind I honestly didn’t notice what she was wearing. Then multiple guests started quietly coming up to me, asking who the one in white was. I guess word got back to her because at the end of the night, she went to my now husband, holding a flower against her dress and said “for the record”, implying it wasn’t white…. I suppose she is colourblind.

Not sure if we/he/I should be asking if there’s an issue or if we should address it at all.

Ugh.

This was years ago but I had to share the story where I was tragically shame worthy.

I attended an Indian Wedding in the United States as a +1 to a very good friend who was going through a bad breakup and didn’t want to be around his Ex, her family, and her friends alone (same community, no way to avoid each other). Generally in Indian weddings, especially lavish ones, there’s NO WAY to upstage the Bride… But no one told me that the Bride had decided to forgo Indian attire and wear traditionally Western bridal wear. The ceremony was a small intimate, gathering between the bride, groom, and they’re immediate families. Most of us were only invited to the reception, which was MUCH LARGER with about 250 people.

We arrived about 20 mins late to the reception because of an accident near the George Washington Bridge. So there we were, entering about 10 mins after the Bride and Groom…. And me in my big puffy, WHITE AND BLUSH, very bridal looking dress. So horribly awkward that every woman who got near me glared like they wished I’d disappear. Believe me, I wanted to. I tried to stay in my seat as much as possible and only get up for things like toasts or to use the bathroom. It was so obviously Bridal looking that when I was exiting the bathrooms an old man said “oh excuse me, I didn’t know there was more than one wedding taking place here today”. I eventually told my friend it was best I left because the Bride didn’t deserve to feel disrespected. I asked my friend to please get her mailing information so that I could send her a big gift as my way of saying sorry and she told him “No Thanks”.

Even though it wasn’t on purpose, that day, I was definitely TA

Pic for reference

She seems so sweet and looks stunning but wearing this to a wedding is crazy😭

My mom, the bride, on the left. My aunt (on the right) showed up wearing a wedding dress and acted like it was no big deal. My mom showed my family this photograph and we couldn't believe it. Now we laugh at it from time to time.

My mom’s friend, who already has a strained relationship with her daughter, chose this “gray” dress for her wedding.

This dress shop owner absolutely refuses to make alterations to an old wedding dress for MoB who wants to wear it to her daughter’s wedding. The MoB doesn’t understand what the problem is with wearing a white or even wedding gown as her Mother-of-The-Bride dress.

I genuinely didn't think I'd ever see anyone wear white to a wedding, but alas, I can tick it off my bingo card.

So many people were talking about the audacity of this woman. It was a Marilyn Monroe style halter dress. The maid of honours husband asked the bride if she wanted him to spill something down her, but the bride said no (she's a much bigger person than I am!!)

… technically, the color is “White Alabaster,” which is still white.

My friend has a specific color scheme for her upcoming September wedding, picking different colors for each bridesmaid. She let her maid of honor pick her color first, then her sister, then her cousin, then me. They picked blue, pink, and a reddish brown, in that order. Of course, the color that was left was a very-slightly-yellow white, as shown in the post photo.

I asked my friend if she was comfortable with me wearing white to her wedding. I also stressed that some of her other guests might not realize she picked out the colors. She said “It’s no worries, there’s no way you’ll outshine me.” I’m not worried at all about her, she’s truly an unproblematic queen, but I am very worried about what her family/other guests will think. I asked my mom for advice, and she just laughed at me.

All this to say… I think I might end up posted in this group soon.

On here, I regularly see people shaming family members and friends for wearing white to weddings and upstaging the bride. And every time I see those posts, I remember what I did years ago, and it makes me cringe every time.

Re-telling below:

Growing up, I didn't have a single dress, but my older sister had a full wardrobe full of formal dresses for school proms, balls, and parties.

When my (male) cousin had a wedding, I had to dress up for the first time, and decided to go through my sister's wardrobe to see what I could wear. I have a horrific build, and most of the dresses either didn't fit, or looked awful on me.

In the end, picked out an off white, empire waist dress, with a layered chiffon floor length skirt, and pearl bead detailed waist and neckline.

My mother said it was fine, my sister said it was fine, and here I was thinking I look great.

On the way to the reception, we passed through a busy street in the city, and some drunk guys yelled out asking where the bride is going off to. I thought nothing of it at the time- I mean I am wearing a white dress so I could be mistaken as a bride, but I'm clearly 16 years old and travelling with my family.

Then I got there, and saw the actual bride.

I'm not close to my cousin so I never met her, but from appearances alone, she was a tomboy type, and for her dress, she picked out a plain, single layer satin dress with no embellishments on the bodice, skirt, or neckline. Aside from her veil, she didn't have any other hair decorations. Meanwhile I'm standing there with a sparkly jewellery tiara I picked from my sister's accessories hoard. (I like sparkly things)

I'm very autistic, so I just concluded everyone being weird and awkward with me during the reception, was par for the course with such a big mix of people from different backgrounds.

The bride probably has never met me before so she must be shy, and her family probably feels the same way. My cousin probably didn't talk to me much because we're not close, and he's got so many other family and friends to talk to.

In hindsight, I probably looked like the biggest rudest (16 year old) idiot.

I haven't been invited to any more family related weddings since, but safe to say, I've learnt from my lesson, and definitely will be picking something green or NOT WHITE next time.