My friend is the sweetest person and didn’t really make a thing out of it, but honestly I was so shocked.. like she wore the whitest white she could find😭 she seemed like a nice lady and they seem to get along fine so I just don’t understand if she’s just dumb or what the deal is
I hope they refer to the dress in the years to come as "The Dick Dress." Remember when you wore that Dick Dress to my wedding? Can't display a single picture with her in it now.
Every time a mom wears white, she always ends up looking like a clown in an unflattering, crazy ensemble.
Like, what's with the faux fur cape? Is she auditioning to be Mrs. Claus next? But then she's got the spring flowers at the bottom of the dress. Very odd.
Exactly. If you see someone other than the bride wearing white at a western wedding, you just know they have a screw loose. They’re not upstaging anyone in a way that’s remotely flattering. Ever.
Trying to upstage a bride is pretty stupid given you'll never outbid her. So you spend what, $400 max on a fancy dress? Bride spent $3,000 plus professional hair and makeup.
It really is! I wish wearing your wedding dress after the wedding could be normalized. I love seeing beautiful wedding dresses and I always feel a bit of a sting when i remember that it’ll never be worn again.
You’d love south asian culture, brides often (and are expected to!) wear some aspects of their outfit for weddings going forward and changing up some other parts, eg wearing the top with a different skirt etc. it’s seen as a way to show your hosts honour and encourages auspiciousness and prosperity. Very cute tradition imo ❤️
And bride shows class. Its about her and her husband's wedding day, not pointing out the obvious (which Im sure others noticed and remarked on with distaste) but moving forward, no matter the craziest in family tree:)
Genuine question, what’s the mentality behind mothers who choose to wear white to the wedding? Is it a case of not liking the bride? Unhealthy attachment to the son?
My mother wanted to wear white at my wedding. And in addition to be white, the dress she wanted was extremely short. We had a beautiful venue - a luxury lodge in the South African Savanah - and most women came with long pretty dresses. But my mother wanted to wear an inappropriately short white SHEIN dress.
There were tiny cherries printed on it but it was 98% pure white.
My family and I convinced her to change for a long beautiful dress and she looked amazing.
But she still resents me for the dress change, she says we made her look ugly.
Long story short she created lots of problems on my wedding day. She even made a scene.
So as for your question, if I had to guess the mentality behind that behavior, I’d say it’s jealousy.
Her actions were about trying to attract attention / sympathy to herself while diminishing the importance of the event for me and my husband.
My mother never married despite dreaming of it. She wanted to make my wedding about herself and when it didn’t work, she tried to sabotage it.
My mom didn't show up at my wedding, thinking it would be a major point of discussion, but we carried on without her because she wasn't the bride. So, for my sister's wedding, she showed up in a casual bird dress to a business formal wedding. (Like a bright orange simple tshirt dress with a giant ironed on bird that covers the entire front of the dress.)
Some people just can't help themselves.
My sister also carried on pretending everything is normal. No one even asked her about her dress. We do all remember it though.
Know what'd be funny! If your mom brought up wedding, just saying, "I don't remember much but someone was cracking jokes about a woman who wore bird dress..i wish i had taken pics to remember who that was!" And then lol'ing
Yes, the scene she made at the reception was about me not respecting her supposed authority when I refused to let her impose something. I walked away from the conversation because I didn’t want to have an argument in my wedding dress and she screamed « this conversation is not over, you come back ! ». Crazy stuff. I got married at 26 so it’s not like I’m a child.
My Mum's a bit more subtle, but it's why I'm having a small, legal ceremony without her there to take the attention off me...again. She did it for my first wedding and at 50 I refuse to let her do it again!
I think I know this dress from a reality show, Southern Hospitality. Not appropriate for a wedding is an understatement, it’s wild yall had to convince her otherwise
Furthermore, what's the mentality behind fathers that allow their wives to wear white to the wedding? I'd be damned before showing up with something like this on my arm.
My guess based on my own experiences and observations of the world after 50 years is that people that do things like this are often cluster B personalities and they are difficult to detach from once they have you in their clutches.
My step mother wore white to my elopement (no wedding, just courthouse). We didn't get along for 20 years before that so it wasn't out of character for her. She also made my father late by an hour when they live 2 blocks away and we almost had to ask the courthouse barista to be our second witness. Some step parents just despise their step children simply because they exist.
My father's second wife married my dad when I was 14. He wasn't in my life much before but he disappeared from it after. She didn't resent me, he never exercised his custody rights, she resented the child support payments.
She also resented he had to pay any part of my hobbies, braces and college. The woman has her own kids with a deadbeat father, married my dad, and turned him into a worse deadbeat dad go figure.
Idk. I was recently married, and while I firmly believe my MIL is a stereotypical narcissist, I never worried she'd pull a stunt like wear white to our wedding. She cares a lot about what people think of her, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the only things holding her back. Makes you wonder how truly delusional people can be to sincerely think they can do no wrong.
The weird thing about mine was, I didn't even want a white dress, I had a custom bridal gown made in a fancy different colour (not white, not even close) and my mother INSISTED on not just using an almost identical shade of the same iridescent taffeta silk for a full suit for herself, but also getting one for my grandmother in largely the same tonal family? Why the hell are we matchy matchy??
It just speaks to lack of creativity and insecurity.
wtf. She didn’t just wear white she wore a fucking shortened wedding dress with a fur shawl? Like this b knew what she was doing trying to upstage her step daughter. She best have torn her a new one or spilled wine cause I sure as hell would’ve.
However, bride’s dress is absolutely stunning. And while stepmom might’ve tried to upstage her she ended up looking frumpy and ugly next to your friend. Hope aside from this her wedding overall was wonderful
The trick is to say- very carefully within hearing range- that "[name] is so weird and cringey- wearing white to another woman's wedding. I feel so bad for (bride), Imagine being related to someone that embarrassing. (Bride) is so patient"
Makes it clear that no one is judging the bride but everyone is judging the dumbbutt.
They can't throw a fit without embarrassing themselves more
My mother wore a champagne sheath dress with coordinating bolero jacket to my wedding. When my MIL found out what my mom’s outfit was, she not only went out and bought the closest matching thing she could find, but called my spouse’s stepmom and lied, telling her that my mom had demanded that they all wear the exact same thing, so she had better go out and also buy a champagne sheath dress with bolero jacket. So my mom tried to go neutral to give the other 2 moms lots of leeway on what colors they could choose, but due to my MIL’s lies, they all 3 ended up looking like a line of 3 backup singers or something.
I think some people give the moms bouquet to carry down the aisle similar to bridesmaids. It's not like she is holding the bride's bouquet for photos. No, that would be MY MIL (my cousin had to actually go take it from her).
I work as an assistant to a wedding florist and people definitely still do wrist corsages for mothers regularly (and grandmothers, but I see that less) but giving them a bouquet isn’t crazy either
My grandparents were florists and they were huge in wrist corsages because my granny didn’t want any holes poked in her clothes for a traditional corsage and wanted to show off the flowers while her hands were still free.
I'm going to be the mother of the groom in the next year, and I was hoping for a wrist corsage. Carrying even a small bouquet would make me feel like I'm trying to be a bridesmaid.
No snatching lol. I honestly cannot remember how she got it. I forgot my bouquet for a lot of the day because it just isn't something I normally carry around I guess. I dunno. But eventually my cousin came over to me to hand me my bouquet and was like, "your MIL was posing with these." And sure enough, she did post Facebook photos of her with my bouquet.
We did those for the grandmothers when one of my cousins got married. They didn't want to deal with pin on flowers, so they got small nosegays to carry instead. In this case though, oh MY
I mean it looks like it’s the exact same flowers the bride has. She probably gave it to her for either pictures or because she was in the wedding party
This reminds me of the time my younger sister got married. Her mother-in-law walked into the wedding in a floor-length white gown, with white flowers woven into her hair. The whole family was stunned. It was hard to see it as anything but a deliberate attempt to upstage the bride.
My sister, to her credit, refused to let it get to her. “I’m not letting her ruin my day,” she told us.
Our mother had other ideas. She crossed the room, walked up to the preening, insecure woman, and emptied a glass of grape soda down the front of that spotless dress.
Pandemonium followed, and so did the laughter. Guests gasped, then howled. The photographer later said it was the best shot of the night. By the time the cake was cut, the purple stain had become the day’s most talked-about decoration, and my sister was laughing harder than anyone.
Omg. My baby sister got married and her MIL dyed her hair BLUE. bright neon blue. The day before. So she's in all the wedding photos in a cream colored dress and blue hair. My sister had the ones she posted/bought edited.
Why don't any of the people that have to deal with this behavior ever have the balls and spine needed to outright refuse to allow these attention seeking losers I to their wedding?
Because their son has no spine to speak up to their mom and tell her she isn't coming if she is going to wear white to be disrespectful to his wife-to-be.
Check the body language. My first thought was that this was a pic of the stepmom and the dad(?) that bride happened to be in, but if was meant to include the bride, she is turning away from the train wreck and slowly trying to “nope” her way out of the picture.
I went to a wedding years ago and some woman was all in white and I know it wasnt the bride so I walked up all excited and introduced myself, how I was connected to the new to be weds and exclaimed I was so excited to be at a double wedding, and who was she marrying? She said real low "oh Im not getting married today" and I tried to sound as innocent as possible when I said that she looked like a beautiful bride, thats why I thought it was a double wedding. Next time I saw her she had changed clothing.
I usually err on the side of "no white at weddings" has seriously gone overboard.
But I 100000% stand behind this shaming.
Her dress is something that a mature bride would wear to their second wedding. This is completely inappropriate to wear to someone else's wedding. But more than that, it's FUgly!!!
She didnt just wear white, she wore the most wedding like dress she could find I bet. That's extremely trashy behavior, I hope everyone at the wedding gave her the side eye treatment.
At every family event moving forward always bring up how she wore a white dress to your wedding. Be funny about it but she will eventually get sick of being everyone’s joke and every future bride will thank you as she will never wear white again to a wedding. Shaming them for years to come.
My stepmoms mom wore something that damn near matched me (mind you she made my dress ((which she also ignored what I asked for, beautiful dress but not what I wanted))) and my mother in law wore a disco ball dress that looks white in photos after getting the ONLY dress color we asked her not to wear, then she went out and got the disco ball and didn’t show us :))
Edit: spelling error
There are occasions when people genuinely only have one nice dress and it's kinda cream, or ivory, or white with a pattern etc. There are occasions when people think, "eh, this is far enough from a wedding dress that nobody's gonna mistake me for the bride! It will do." There are occasions when someone falls in love with an elegant dress that's silver or yellow or light blue, or anything that may photograph close to white.
This is none of those. The fucking cape. The BOUQUET! The audacity. 😐
No, it is THE biggest wedding faux pas to wear white to a wedding. Everyone knows that. No one thinks “I only have one nice dress and it just so happens to be off-white, no one will care”. A fucking child could tell you not to wear white to a wedding.
No. If you have one genuinely nice dress and it's white, or white enough to photograph white, or bridal in any way, you go get another one. You buy one. You borrow one. You rent one. You buy it, wear it once and return it. There is NO excuse for wearing white to a wedding when the bride wears white.
If my mother or in law had wanted this I would have changed my brides maids and every good girl friend to a white dress code just to f with them lol. We all wear white then bitch!
It sucks when it happens on the day, but as a graphic designer I take solace knowing that changing a white dress color in photoshop is one of the easiest edits possible.
The thing that always gets me is when people wear white dresses to a wedding they are usually not even very nice, but this odd, dated concoction (and the cheap looking cape to boot) takes ugly to the next level.
I often find that people overreact to ivory/champagne/cream tones if the cut, fabric and overall impression of the dress cannot be mistaken for the bride. But in this case the dress could really be a bridal dress, wow. She even stands closer to the groom than tha actual bride!
Ya some cream/beige/light blue/light gray dresses don’t photograph well but in person are obviously not white. And they are in style that obviously isn’t the bride’s dress.
I cannot say this about this dress. This is the most egregious example I’ve ever seen. It’s like she wore her own wedding dress, just hemmed higher, to the wedding.
Choosing to wear ivory or cream or light beidge at someone else's wedding is just asking for trouble. Surely the person has heard of any shade of green, pink, blue, anything not similar to white
Thank you! I feel like I am taking crazy pills with some of these comments. No one should be wearing anything remotely close to white for the wedding. How hard is it to buy one fucking dark dress to wear to weddings?
Yeah like this one isn't even forgivable. Even though my usual rule is "if you have to defend it, you probably shouldn't wear it", I'd understand more if it was like a casual sundress or something. But this one is pretty clearly a fancy event dress.
My “best friend” wore white to my bachelorette party, and also had dated my husband in high school (said no feelings but later found she’d tried to hook up with him 3 years prior). Not the same thing as a wedding, but I should’ve taken it into account.
ETA: deleted pic out of respect that she never showed me. But keeping the comment bc it’s true, boo!
Honestly, she just looks like a desperate attention-seeker, and everyone probably laughed at her. At this point, people think they’re stealing the show but they just look sad and pathetic.
I genuinely never understand the thought behind wearing white at someone else's wedding. You always end up looking like a complete ah and everyone ends talking about what a terrible person the person wearing white is. Your friend should photoshop the dress to some other color. Personally, I'd choose something that makes the her look uglier than she does, but I am petty.
Stepmom's dress looks like it was fashioned out of cake frosting. "Of they won't agree to the cake topper you wanted, you should instead become the cake topper."
I wouldn’t even be mad, the bride dress is so beautiful she looks like an elfin princess. The stepmom looks like she’s wearing an old prom dress, it’s horrible.
In this case, I might be grateful for stepmom making me look better.
The bride looks exquisite. That dress is like a dream.
It's gorgeous and from what I can see the bride looks gorgeous. I didn't even notice the mom at first.
The Bride sort of looks like an elvish princess.
May she live a beautiful, blessed and abundant life full of love and joy.
GOSH I just love the dress and from what I can see, i love the hair too. I'm filling in some blanks but oh well. I love it.
I have many issues with this photo (not with the bride, she’s beautiful) - MIL has a white dress and a white fur capelet despite it being warm enough for a short dress. FIL (assumably) has a t shirt underneath his suit jacket. And guy with the khakis has his massive phone in his front pocket. What is wrong with these people
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u/CSILalaAnn 2d ago
On the upside, my daughter looked at the picture and said step mom's dress reminds her of a tampon... 🤷♀️