r/weddingshaming • • Dec 08 '25

Dressed like a Bride Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress

Post image

Hi, so I'm the bride (middle) and I included another guest in my cropping to show the dress code (Sunday best/dressy casual)

The guest on the left's dress was floor length and when I saw it in the lighting during the ceremony, my first thought was it was white.

Many of my bridesmaids said something to me. I said something to my husband, mom, and MOH and they all agreed, it was white. Rather than have one of my other friends attending offering to spill wine on her for me, I chose to speak with her and just ask about it. I was absolute drunk at that point but it had gone along the lines of why she chose the dress. Though a friend present did tell me this morning I came off as very passive aggressive.

I remember her response well, she was adamant that the dress was cream not white and that there's a difference and no one but me had said anything to her about it. She said anyone would be able to tell that it's not white.

She also claimed it was the only thing she had available to wear, which I highly doubt because she works for a bank, I'm sure she has plenty of appropriate business casual clothes that would have looked fine. I plan to just move on from it, but I did think it was highly inappropriate. In traditional Western/Christian weddings, there is ONE color reserved for the bride. Each guest has every other color under the sun to choose from. She also knew my dress had a lot of lace detail because we hung out after I had gone wedding dress shopping and I showed her a picture. It's not an outshining the bride thing for me, it's just a respect thing. And I feel a bit disrespected especially because when I had confronted her, she refused to see my side of it. If it was floral, patterned, or pastel, I'd have been fine with it. I even offered champagne and taupe as colors available to my bridesmaids, though none of them chose to wear it because they felt personally that it was too close to white.

8.8k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Fantastic-Sale-3447 Dec 08 '25

That is absurd! The fact that she didn’t just immediately apologize too is wild. Were you close with this person before or were they on the grooms side? Are they unmarried? I always need to know more about these perpetrators😩😆, criminal minds needs to assess what possesses these people to do this lol

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

She was a sorority sister of mine back in college. I was not really close with her, but I was inviting the girl on the right and they're roommates and I knew both weren't bringing plus ones, so I invited her as well so they'd keep each other company since I know they're both pretty introverted.

620

u/Powerful_Culture_928 Dec 08 '25

Sometimes ppl are introverted bc they are just disliked

191

u/isoldeavrina Dec 09 '25

Yeah…

Also imagine being introverted and wearing a floor length “cream” lace dress to a wedding only to draw attention to yourself. Seems insanely dumb

49

u/Dry_Complaint6528 Dec 10 '25

Right? I don't think she's introverted, just an asshole.

I NEVER understand how anyone think anything within the white/ivory/cream shades is appropriate to wear to a wedding. What planet are you on?

15

u/CaraAsha Dec 10 '25

The only wedding I've been to where it was appropriate to wear white was a friend who did what she called an inverted wedding. She and her groom wore black everyone else wore light colors. That was what she wanted so that's what we wore.

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u/Soushkabob Dec 08 '25

It’s the white dress + casual shacket for me that really makes me mad

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u/pissliquors Dec 08 '25

You’re nicer than I am OP, I would have straight up told her the other people were going to pour wine on her, but you called them off to have a conversation.

101

u/Secure_Course_3879 Dec 08 '25

You're both nicer than me. I would've let them spill on her. She can have a wine colored dress now.

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

I never said I told them no.

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u/drewberryblueberry Dec 09 '25

If the girl on the right is dressed appropriately for your dress code, I think that makes this more egregious because she wouldve had the example of what was appropriate to wear at home. She saw what her roommate was wearing and still somehow thought that dress was acceptable.

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u/only_login_available Dec 08 '25

Yeah the lack of apology is wild. I'm also a plus size woman and I'm sympathetic that finding something that fits you and the dress code can be a nightmare. But that is a very bridal dress and to not even apologise when confronted tells you everything.

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u/Fantastic-Sale-3447 Dec 08 '25

Plus size aspect is so real. However, as bride now myself… i swear it’s hard to find white dresses?!? Like it’s much more common to find non white non lace dresses haha

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u/New-Shake7638 Dec 09 '25

💯I’m wondering how the hell she was able to find a white dress like that at all! I’m having a hell of a time myself

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u/Sammiesam123988 Dec 10 '25

Right? Like you have to go looking for a white dress. Especially plus size, because I am.

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u/frolicndetour Dec 08 '25

Like omg it is white and anything that looks white, including, but not limited to, cream, eggshell, ecru, off white, champagne, pearl, ivory, oyster, etc. And it's lace on top of it. She knew what she was doing.

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u/No_Cat_4796 Dec 08 '25

My litmus test is if you show the dress to a random straight man and he calls it white or beige, then it's too white to wear. "But pearl isn't white, it's a warm toned light -" it's white.

1.2k

u/PaddyCow Dec 08 '25

It's not just the colour. Everything about the length and style is like a wedding dress. Remove the cardigan and it looks like a wedding dress.

Maybe no one said anything to her about the dress, but they definitely talked about her behind her back and not in a good way. She didn't upstage the bride and made herself look bad.

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u/Holiday_Objective_96 Dec 08 '25

I'm just as irritated about the cardigan as I am the dress color- like, girl. Get it together

518

u/PaddyCow Dec 08 '25

It's like she was trying to tone down the very obvious wedding dress into a casual dress by adding a shabby cardigan lol.

223

u/NooOfTheNah Dec 08 '25

Cardigan was off the floor looking at the state of it

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u/Irn_brunette Dec 08 '25

Can we also agree that waterfall cardigans should be left in 2010?

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u/SnooGoats7978 Dec 08 '25

The tartan cardigan is fine, especially because it's December. The dishrag that the "Guest" is wearing is so off-style that it emphasizes that the underlying dress is the problem.

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u/Irn_brunette Dec 08 '25

Tartan is fine (I live in Scotland FFS), but that waterfall cut should be blasted into the sun along with layered polo shirts, Twilight and Blackberry messenger.

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u/CremeComfortable7915 Dec 08 '25

I’m even more irritated that both of the guests pictured are apparently fine with wearing wrinkled clothing to a wedding.

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u/Successful_Baby6108 Dec 09 '25

Oh yes this! At least iron your clothes for a wedding.

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u/No-Shift-9620 Dec 08 '25

Right?! If you are going to troll the bride you might as well do it right. Her outfit choice is giving, I thought this was going to be fun trolling but I’m kind of regretting it. Let me hide behind this ugly cardigan.

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u/Fit_Faithlessness157 Dec 08 '25

That cardigan is a crime.

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u/Organic_Sampler Dec 08 '25

I read the title, looked at the picture and took a second to work out bride in the image. This dress was not wedding appropriate. I would be cutting whatever ties the OP has to this person.

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u/srslytho1979 Dec 09 '25

The cardigan is how you know that she knew.

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u/Inevitable_Jury_1470 Dec 08 '25

Straight male here. Looks white, even looks like it could be a wedding dress. Shes got some balls to show up dressed like that

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u/LemonBomb Dec 08 '25

If the lady at the paint counter would sell a color to me for my ceiling, it’s not appropriate for someone else’s wedding.

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u/originalcinner Dec 09 '25

My husband can never remember the name of color that's on our living room walls. He always thinks it's Swiss Cream, because "cream is white". It's actually Hazelnut Latte, which doesn't sound white at all, but apparently they mean the white bit inside the nut, not the brown skin on the outside.

My point being, even "hazelnut latte" is too white for a wedding guest.

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u/PsychicNinja_ Dec 08 '25

Asked my boyfriend. Yup.

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u/betterthingsahead88 Dec 09 '25

Patrick Bateman business card

LOL marry him

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u/sandpiperinthesnow Dec 08 '25

I hate this debate with passion. But I love this. Ask a straight guy. If he says it's white find something else. Brilliant. I might add ask a dad over 50. :D

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u/BugWild9184 Dec 08 '25

People that nitpick the color like that remind me of people that say “I’m not mean I’m just honest” lol same vibe!!!

White is white. All shades of it

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u/Unlucky-Review-2410 Dec 09 '25

She's literally wearing Pantone's color of the year for 2026, and nobody's putting up with it.

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u/femmesole27 Dec 08 '25

Lol someone once told me that men only know as colors the ones that came in the 8 pack of crayons we got as kids. Red, blue, green, etc. This made me think of that.

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u/vintagegirlgame Dec 08 '25

Haha I used to do catering for the infamous P Diddy White Parties… one time an Olsen twin was told to go home and change bc her outfit was cream and NOT white enough.

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u/Ok_Expert9828 Dec 08 '25

Ok. You know we all want to ask you what went down. What did you see???

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u/vintagegirlgame Dec 08 '25

Just a normal Hamptons celebrity schmoozy cocktail party on the outside (honestly the more A-list the more lame the party, bc nobody wants to drink/dance too much and get labeled for being “the drunk one” with so many ppl watching). Any weird stuff must have been afterhours.

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u/Unlucky-Review-2410 Dec 09 '25

When you said "normal Hamptons celebrity schmoozy cocktail party," I immediately assumed Eyes Wide Shut is the baseline for normal Hamptons parties 🤣

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u/PattyMarvel Dec 08 '25

I like that "random straight man" test!

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u/mspolytheist Dec 08 '25

That’s actually brilliant.

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u/Hips-Often-Lie Dec 08 '25

OMG but it’s not WHITE it’s Pantone’s color of the year!

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u/Artisan_Gardener Dec 08 '25

Actual pearls are super white.

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u/Accomplished_Lio Dec 08 '25

Most wedding dresses aren’t white either. The majority of people don’t look their best in white. They are some version of off white. So even the “it’s cream not white” argument is bullshit for guests.

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u/LadyEdith1 Dec 08 '25

Cream is the shade of white the dress is. "It's not green, it's emerald" makes about as much sense.

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u/gracielynn61528 Dec 08 '25

I agree. I actually prefer off white as a gown.

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u/Beanz4ever Dec 08 '25

Yep. I looked great in my champagne white gown!

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u/Hippadoppaloppa Dec 08 '25

And she didn't iron her cardi that definitely doesn't go with the rest of the outfit!

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

I was wondering if anyone else noticed the shabby sweater. (NOW I’m wondering if she was going for ‘shabby chic’? 🥴)

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u/Beanz4ever Dec 08 '25

I crochet and noticed it immediately. It's decently done by someone with probably newer skills.

My take on this is that she thrifted a wedding gown and then tried to dress it down with her home-made cardi.

She should have dyed the gown if she wanted to wear it at a wedding.

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u/Hippadoppaloppa Dec 08 '25

The lady on the other side in black didn't iron hers either! Bad form to turn up dishevelled to your mate's wedding!

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u/MariMargeretCharming Dec 08 '25

I react to both the black flanell and the gingam on fake bride!! 

And why haven't any of them ironed their shirts??!

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u/Massive_Letterhead90 Dec 08 '25

Backstabby chic.

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u/neon_crone Dec 08 '25

You have to wonder why anyone would wear a long, pale cream lace dress to a wedding with a dressy casual dress code in the first place. Not only does her dress look bridal, she’s way overdressed if the girl in the wrinkled plaid schmatta on the right is a correct example of the code. And, especially, you have to know that it does pull focus, but for all the wrong reasons - the other guests think you’re either completely clueless or pathetically seeking attention. If she ends up in your pictures have the photographer retouch it to a subtle color that looks awful on her, like a light grayish brown.

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u/Gribitz37 Dec 08 '25

That list also includes pale icy yellow and blush pink. Anything that could be mistaken for white in certain lighting.

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u/Old_Curve_1968 Dec 08 '25

I made a mistake of wearing a blush pink dress to my partners older sisters wedding when we were only 6months into dating. At the end of the ceremony we took some pics quickly by the church with his younger siblings then just me and my partner, I had a look at the pictures on my phone and I realised the dress was coming up in white in pictures, I was mortified and whispered shouted at my partner for not telling me the dress was coming out white and he’s like “huh?! but it’s pink tho?” I’m like “On pictures it’s white! That’s fkn rude of me and I need to change asap before professional pictures!”

We luckily had a couple hours between ceremony and reception due to location change and I thankfully brought a backup simple black bodcon emergency dress (I’m clumsy and could anticipate me spilling something on the blush dress), changed into that for reception and professional family pictures (which I was shocked they even asked me to join considering we’d only been dating for a short time at the time). Boy am I glad I changed dresses because 6yrs later and that family pic still rests on his parents mantle piece and I think I’d die a little every-time I look at that picture if I remained in the blush pink dress. From then on I’ve stayed well clear of pastel/icy/blush pink around weddings.

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u/clodsires_mouth Dec 08 '25

Omg I also made the mistake of blush pink at a wedding of a really good friend of mine and realized after we took a selfie that we looked like two brides. (It was a wedding between two women as well so it was like I was bride number three!) I didn't have the opportunity to change and I felt soooo bad. She laughed it off but I'm still horrified to this day. I don't think I've worn the dress at all since and it's been like 10 years 😅

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u/Old_Curve_1968 Dec 08 '25

In my defence it was my first wedding as an adult and I knew white was deffo no go and tbh I had nothing wedding related to wear and borrowed that dress of a friend who also wore it to a wedding. I’m so glad your friend could laugh about it that’s such a good friend🥹 I too haven’t wore that blush pink dress since that day.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

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u/BobbingBobcat Dec 08 '25

My stepmother wore a white lace dress with red splotches. She looked like an elder bride that got in a fight.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

Yes…it’s not like cream isn’t part of the wedding dress “white” pallet. 

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u/Jallenrix Dec 08 '25

Your dress is stunning.

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u/doctissimaflava Dec 08 '25

Also here to compliment you and your dress - you are BEAUTIFUL and I love your dress so much!!! The lace pattern is GORGEOUS and the belt is a perfect accent!

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

It actually is just a brooch that we pinned since the lace just kept me from being able to have the dress hemmed correctly, as beautiful as it is, getting it hemmed professionally would require losing detail in the waist since the bottom of the dress is scalloped. I am unfortunately very short so I had to wear tall heels and pin the front of the dress up slightly so I wouldn't get mud all on it since we had an outdoor ceremony where there was a dirt path leading to the pavilion and it had rained.

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u/itsjustme2376 Dec 08 '25

The brooch is perfect and adds to the dress. I never would’ve guessed it was there to fix a problem. Absolutely gorgeous dress! And yeah, your guest was way out of line with her dress color especially with the lace.

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u/_banana_phone Dec 08 '25

That’s my dress too!!! It was hell on earth getting it (purchased/ordered it like two weeks before davids bridal announced their bankruptcy, so I wasn’t sure it would actually arrive), but oh man, I am so glad I chose it.

It was perfect. I have never felt more beautiful in my life as when I wore that gorgeous gown. And my alteration lady made a bustle for it for the reception, which was a game changer.

Congrats, you look incredible!

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

We just used a decorative safety pin for the bustle, my mom hemmed the inner layers (I actually used the cut lace from that inner layer when I made my centerpieces for the reception and we gave 2 those to my new in-laws.) But idk about you but I'm 5'3", I ended up wearing nearly 5" heels (which worked out good for photos anyway since my husband is really tall) and we didn't do any alterations on the outer layer of lace.

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u/_banana_phone Dec 08 '25

I had to basically Frankenstein my dress because they’d stopped production on it. I was squarely a size 10, but they only had 8 or 12 available. I didn’t want to rely on dropping 15 pounds, so I sized up to a 12. By the time the wedding happened, I’d lost enough weight that I could have worn the 8 with no alterations, but it was a done deal. So my seamstress had to take it in like, a lot, but it turned out beautifully.

I am 5’6” and wore flat sandals because I am awkward in heels, so she did have to take some up but not too much.

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u/l31l4j4d3 Dec 08 '25

I came here to say that you look beautiful in your dress. It’s stunning.

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u/gaygrammie Dec 08 '25

I really love your dress too!!

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u/Lurkylurkness Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

I think the weird part is her saying you're the only one who said anything. The bride. Being the one to say something. The audacity /s (the sarcasm is only apply to me thinking she has the audacity. The only one who should matter to say anything directly is the bride)

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u/Natashaley93 Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

The correct response to that comment was, “is there anyone else’s opinion here other than mine and my husband’s that matters?”

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u/Lurkylurkness Dec 08 '25

Absolutely. Like, I personally am la sais faire or whatever about wedding dress codes minus the one thing this person did. Dressing up in something very similar or exactly like the bride's dress. If I were getting married now vs 13 years ago, I too would straight up be like what's this about? And any rubuttal would be like come on, you can come and stand up at the altar with us. C: but I have also grown into a person who enjoys making people uncomfortable.

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u/johjo_has_opinions Dec 08 '25

Just a note, it’s spelled “laissez-faire”

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u/somefunmaths Dec 08 '25

Seriously, like what? If I was at a wedding and the bride came up to me and asked me to jump, the only correct answer is “yes, right away, how high?” The idea that “you’re the only one to say anything” means anything here is amazing.

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u/Lurkylurkness Dec 08 '25

Right? Let the bride be as passive aggressive as she wants. Which I don't think it was even I don't know anyone involved. Like the gall. Like girl yeah. I am the only one saying it because wtf.

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u/Katnis85 Dec 08 '25

I honestly would have said "they are saying something, to me, along with would you like <insert cream colored dress wearers name> to wear my wine?" Make sure she knows everybody knows how bad this looks and the bride talking to her about it was actually the nicest response

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u/ParfaitHungry1593 Dec 08 '25

And the friend said she came off as “passive aggressive”. It’s her wedding and someone else is wearing white. She has a right to express her offense.

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u/dianerrbanana Dec 08 '25

It would of been at that point id of had a trusted family member ask her to head on home so that its clear she's being an obtuse mcgee and that it wasn't just the bride icked out.

If someone's gonna fight semantics with me on my wedding, they can leave.

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u/TravellingBeard Dec 08 '25

"It's not white...it's Cloud Dancer!"

I anticipate because of Pantone's recent announcement, this sub is going to get a lot more stories like this next year.

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u/effyoucreeps Dec 08 '25

i am utterly dreading “cloud dancer” as the 2026 pantone color for so many reasons - and this is one of them

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u/PrancingPudu Dec 08 '25

I’m desperate to know who this person is in relation to you guys as a couple 👀

100% agree she knew what she was doing!

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

Sorority sister of mine from back in college.

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u/PrancingPudu Dec 08 '25

Yikes. Makes her look really desperate for attention and tacky 😬 Fortunately you looked stunning and it only reflects poorly on her and her alone.

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u/JediMasterCuntnobi Dec 08 '25

The jealousy is radiating off that sad ombré sweater 

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u/disposable_thinking_ Dec 08 '25

teach me your cunty ways master 🙏

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u/Firm_Pen_4184 Dec 08 '25

Don't worry it's ugly and looks like a cry for attention. Your gown is pretty by the way.

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u/TitaniaT-Rex Dec 08 '25

I love the little cap sleeves!

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u/Firm_Pen_4184 Dec 08 '25

Yes! Overall the gown looks elegant

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u/GrouchyBear_99 Dec 08 '25

That weird cover up/sweater/jacket that's supposed to be ombré but just looks stained just "compliments" that outfit she's wearing.

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u/Sphinxrhythm Dec 08 '25

I mean, she could at least have ironed it. It's hideous

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u/GeekCat Dec 08 '25

It's 100% a last minute questioning herself, but still going through. It's absolutely not business casual/Sunday best.

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u/Knitsanity Dec 08 '25

Neither of the people flanking has heard of an iron.

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u/Miss_airwrecka1 Dec 08 '25

Or a steamer! I hate ironing and don’t remember the last time I did it. I have a travel steamer and it’s amazing. I take it whenever I travel and within minutes my clothes are perfect. These people look really sloppy

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

I live in the American South, the Gulf Coast specifically. While I do believe she is a bit self conscious, my thought process is any of the clothes she wore to work would have been way more appropriate.

One of my other friends attending wore a nice pair of pants and a sweater! MoH changed into something similar for the reception, so there was absolutely no expectation for guests to wear anything incredibly formal. Plus when I said Sunday Best to my guests, I also knew while it wasn't a Catholic wedding, the vast majority of attendees were Catholic and in my experience, do NOT dress up for church. I just didn't want anyone wearing like... Ripped jeans and a T-shirt.

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u/Zestyclose_Truth9999 Dec 08 '25

Yeah, OP looks stunning in comparison to the absolute mess standing next to her.

Not only is that cardigan a poor cosplay of a bloody tampon, but the fit is awful. I mean, if you're going to commit to wearing grandma's curtains to a wedding, at least size up appropriately? 🤣

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u/Low-maintenancegal Dec 08 '25

Lol most brutal takedown of a cardigan I've ever seen

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u/Suidse Dec 08 '25

And it's creased! She had money for an attempted attention stealing dress, but wore an ugly creased cardigan with it...no taste or decorum whatsoever.

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u/Low-maintenancegal Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

There are cardigans I wear for warmth that I'd never wear outdoors. They have missing buttons, holes,loose threads. Somehow they are less ugly than this cardigan.

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u/NegotiationKnown9666 Dec 08 '25

The one on her left is no great shakes either. Looks as though she pulled her outfit out of the laundry basket.

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u/sinskins Dec 08 '25

Lmao! Passive aggressive!! I mean, maybe you did come across that way, but, maybe she shouldn’t have worn a WHITE floor length dress to a wedding!!! She had it coming, (and more, but you’re a better woman than me!)

I agree with others, it’s an ugly dress! Yours is stunning!

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u/linerva Dec 08 '25

I think active aggressive is allowed in situations like this, let alone passive aggressive. If you turn up to a wedding in a lacy floor length cream gown, you deserve to be soundly told off and mocked for your attention seeking asshattery.

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u/poopopinions Dec 08 '25

The very act of wearing a white dress to a wedding is pretty passive aggressive itself 😭

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u/Blaubeerchen27 Dec 08 '25

This, who the fuck wants to call out a bride for passive aggressiveness when she's obviously in the right here? Heck, I'm sure some others would've gone full on aggression mode and dumped a full bottle of wine on that woman themselves, by comparison OP was already super accommodating. And then the other woman has the audacity to gaslight OP into thinking she's in the wrong...

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u/VivaZeBull Dec 08 '25

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u/Foreign_Astronaut Dec 08 '25

There was an emergency.

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u/Ok-Chemistry9933 Dec 08 '25

She’s not your friend

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u/lolaellen Dec 08 '25

This and only this!

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u/bethestorm Dec 08 '25

Oh my God who even does this for attention, this would be worse than one of those nightmares where you wake up naked. I would genuinely wear a fuckin tablecloth as a dress before showing up in a lacy white floor length gown. I'd wear men's clothes. Whatever it took. This is so embarrassing for her. And she uh, does NOT look good in it. It looks like she's wearing my grandmas lace table sham or whatever. That curtain thing my grandma puts under her knick knacks. It looks also like she's tried to wash it in cat pee. Horrendous. Your friends are far more polite than me. I would have told her she looks like she went shopping at a garage sale.

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u/souryoungthing Dec 08 '25

It’s ugly, ill-fitting, not at all flattering, and against dress code. I think that’s a bingo, so at least she succeeded at something other than embarrassing herself.

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u/bethestorm Dec 08 '25

And don't even get me started on the salmon cardigan good lord

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u/souryoungthing Dec 08 '25

Salmon are beautiful, complex, and an important part of the ecosystem.

That’s “Period Panty Pink”.

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u/jackandsally060609 Dec 08 '25

Slob. She looks like a slob

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u/lolaellen Dec 08 '25

I think she went goodwill shopping to purposely find this style of dress because she’s not a good person.

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u/bethestorm Dec 08 '25

Which to me is even fkin crazier. Like what kind of mental defect does a person have to do something like this. Like it's literally, mind boggling. I just do not understand what would make someone do this. Like, there is not one circumstance where I can comprehend of someone doing this. She should be committed.

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u/ALLoftheFancyPants Dec 08 '25

Worn with the most wrinkled cardigan possible… ma’am, you knew what you were doing. Ça if you have to argue about what color the dress is, you shouldn’t have worn it. It’s that simple.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Arachne93 Dec 08 '25

That's the sweater balled up in the back seat, just in case somewhere is a little chilly. That's the car sweater.

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u/littlespawningflower Dec 08 '25

And the friend in the wrinkled flannel atrocity that she pulled out of the bottom of her closet- who wears such a thing to a wedding?

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u/throwbackxx Dec 08 '25

Right? I’m confused how two people could show up like that to a wedding! Obviously the white dress was intentional, but they both look like running errands instead of being a guest at a wedding

17

u/blurblurblahblah Dec 08 '25

They both look like the worn out cardigans you'd wear camping & to walk the dog in.

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u/Eukaliptusy Dec 08 '25

I would be more upset with the other friend. The one on the right looks like she is wearing her dog’s bed.

At least the one in cream lace made some effort.

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u/Kristal3615 Dec 08 '25

I have to wonder if someone gave her that to cover up the fact she wore a wedding dress to a wedding lol My petty ass would absolutely be going to the car and getting my emergency "I forgot to bring a jacket" jacket and offering it to her.

44

u/Organic-oichii Dec 08 '25

It does look cream but wedding dresses can be cream too.

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u/lolaellen Dec 08 '25

It’s a full cream/white lacy , second hand bridal dress… she went to goodwill to find THIS TYPE OF DRESS. It’s tacky and gross no matter the color.

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u/Unfair_Ad_5347 Dec 08 '25

She knew the details of your dress ahead of time and has other clothes to wear and still went with this look. Drop this person from your social circle please. Insincere, attention-seeking, and tacky isn’t a good look on anybody.

12

u/lolaellen Dec 08 '25

I think she purposely went goodwill shopping to match the bride. How gross

275

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k Dec 08 '25

Your dress is gorgeous, her dress is a wedding dress and also doesn’t even fit the dress code. Throwing that cardigan on it doesn’t make it better.

Also. White wedding dresses have nothing to do with Christianity, people didn’t wear white until the Queen of England wore an all white gown for her wedding in the 1800’s.

High society rushed to copy her, and then the lower classes followed.

People made up a bunch of nonsense about purity and virginity, but blue is the traditional Christian color for purity and virginity, going back at least 1500 years or more.

Now we’re all stuck with white.

51

u/Ali_in_wonderland02 Dec 08 '25

A shit cardigan

23

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k Dec 08 '25

Truly, it is a shit cardigan

15

u/lolaellen Dec 08 '25

A really shit cardigan

85

u/camilleintheforest Dec 08 '25

Came here to note this too - white wedding dresses were brought into vogue by Queen Victoria. Not by Christianity.

30

u/WaywardHistorian667 Dec 08 '25

That and how much of a pain in the ass it is to get stains out of white satin or silk.

The idea was to show off how rich you were to wear what was, at the time, an impractical dress for the plebs.

18

u/linerva Dec 08 '25

This.

For much if history people just wore the best they had, or had a nice dress made.

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u/Fun_Hat1635 Dec 08 '25

I read, years ago, that a bride wearing a veil, covering her face is the actual sign of virginity, NOT the color of anything in the wedding. Don’t know how true it is or if it only pertains to one or more specific relions, but it was interesting nonetheless.

10

u/ffdgh2 Dec 08 '25

I will say that to anyone who will come for me for wearing white when I already live with my fiance. I'll assure them that my veil won't cover my face to not confuse anyone about my virginity and purity status if it bothers them so much, lol.

I had no idea so many people had issues with that until I started wedding planning, it's crazy lol.

7

u/linerva Dec 08 '25

I really don't see why anyone should care. My mum walked down the aisle pregnant with me (I sold up their wedding planning timeline considerably lol) and people lived.

I had a cape veil made (well i adapted an affordable normal veil into a chapel length cape myself, surprisingly easy to do with basic sewing skills!) because I didn't really want to entertain the veil over the face thing.

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u/Hangry_Games Dec 08 '25

Not necessarily. I got married in a Catholic Church and wore a gold sequin dress. Nobody at the church cared about the color of the dress. And my horrified mother made sure to ask about that in hopes she could use it to strong arm me into a pile of swans dress.

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u/ratsonleashes Dec 08 '25

I knew about the queen bringing white dresses into vogue, but I had no idea about blue being the traditional colour for purity in Christianity! I always assumed it was white like a lamb with the whole shepherd motif in Christianity. I know sheep come in many colours but I've only ever seen Jesus depicted with white lambs.

41

u/Aksannyi Dec 08 '25

That’s why Mary is always depicted wearing blue.

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u/RealHousewivesYapper Dec 08 '25

A big part of why Mary is always depicted in blue is because it was an expensive pigment and rich patrons wanted to use it as a way to show off when spending money on church renovations & co

11

u/Emotional_Client9544 Dec 08 '25

The Mary connection is also why some religious groups associate blue with baby girls, instead of pink! Mostly out of fashion nowadays but I know many religious people who still use blue for girls and pink/red for boys (this is mostly in rural Europe).

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u/runnyc10 Dec 08 '25

Mary is always wearing blue though!

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u/InevitableRhubarb232 Dec 08 '25

Ok so your dress is fucking gorgeous.

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u/bobhand17123 Dec 08 '25

If you have to explain how it’s not white, it’s white. At least close enough for wedding purposes.

53

u/pinkbootstrap Dec 08 '25

Its literally lacy and everything. I'm glad you confronted her, I hope she felt awkward.

42

u/cristarain Dec 08 '25

That sweater is an even bigger crime

24

u/eastvirginia Dec 08 '25

Lol any shade of white is still considered white in terms of a wedding and EVERYONE knows that. If you have to question it, it's too white to wear to a wedding. If you have a justification locked and loaded to defend your dress, you already knew it was too white and would be questionable to wear to a wedding.

A $20 thrift store dress that didn't fit would be better than choosing a white dress to wear to someone else's wedding. The day is not about you as an attendee so it doesn't really matter what you wear. This was a purposeful choice by this person and they knew they would ruin your pictures. Have your photographer Photoshop their dress a different color and distance yourself from them from now on.

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

Oh the photographer is a close friend of mine and we already talked about it.

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u/lolaellen Dec 08 '25

She purposely went out and bought this at goodwill. It most likely stunk

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u/gaygrammie Dec 08 '25

But don't worry, she's wearing an ugly pink sweater she picked off her bedroom floor and shook 3 times to complete her look.

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u/vettechrockstar86 Dec 08 '25

Come on! No believes a grown ass woman doesnt know that’s wrong! And trying to claim “it’s not white” is just her trying to cover up her own bad behavior by making the bride seem like an unreasonable bridezilla.

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u/thatstoomuchsauce Dec 08 '25

It's honestly baffling that she thinks it's fine. (Your dress is STUNNING btw. Would you mind sharing the name/designer? I love the shape and cut of it so much!)

8

u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

Thank you so much! I got it from David's Bridal: https://www.davidsbridal.com/product/embroidered-illusion-mock-neck-wedding-dress-ms251205?Color=Ivory&Size=22W&Customisation=NO_CUSTOMIZATION

They've discontinued the style I believe, I had gone in person and found it in the clearance section and it was absolutely perfect, the only size left that they had was my size.

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u/retrozebra Dec 08 '25

Your friend said you seemed passive-aggressive… but honestly, how else could you have reacted? I wouldn’t have been cheerful about it either. I’m just glad you said something to the girl wearing this dress, since apparently no one else did.

Your dress was so pretty by the way.

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u/CrunchyZombie4909 Dec 08 '25

My SIL did this at my wedding and said the exact same thing! Some people just have no class...

Edited to add: you look absolutely gorgeous though and that dress is 🔥

8

u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

Tysm! And yeah, thankfully the only other person who wore anything remotely close to white was a cousin of mine that I didn't even notice, had a white coat that it seemed she only wore outside because all photos of her at the ceremony and the reception she's not wearing it, but she has a couple photos outside wearing it which, I'm fine with. She wore a dark green dress and I think it matched and looked very Christmas-y which I'm perfectly fine with.

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u/azaleafawn Dec 08 '25

That is a white, floor length lace dress lmao. She’s lucky all she got was some passive aggressive comments.

The good news is everyone there would have recognized what a faux pas this is and that’s embarrassing enough, honestly.

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u/fourfrenchfries Dec 08 '25

I am a wedding photographer and it is in my contract that I don't photograph women in white dresses with the bride and I tell the offending guests exactly why. I haven't had one bride override the policy to make an exception for a guest, but I would upon request (and either alter the dress color OR release it separately from the rest of the gallery based on the bride's preference). This lady and I would have had a very unpleasant exchange.

13

u/Right_Count Dec 08 '25

I’m generally disdainful of brides treating guests like props, but man, poor OP here. Stuck between a woman in a cream bridal dress and one in a casual black dress with a wrinkled plaid overshirt. I’m honestly not sure which I find worse-looking.

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u/newdogowner11 Dec 08 '25

i need someone like you at my wedding seriously

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u/Pyro_Bombus Dec 08 '25

If you have to debate on the difference between cream and white, it’s not an appropriate color for a guest to wear.

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u/dandeliontree1 Dec 08 '25

That dress with a cardigan is diabolical anyway!

10

u/ReRedFox Dec 08 '25

Where is the red wine Warriors?

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u/MaintenanceCareful37 Dec 08 '25

Do your guests not own an iron? Or a hairbrush? The dress is also awful but I don't think anyone would be mistaking her for the bride.

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u/MochiAccident Dec 08 '25

“no one but me had said anything to her about it.”

LOL the one person who is allowed to say and feel a certain way about it is the bride. Your friend acting like nobody else commenting means it’s ok is on another level of delulu.

10

u/Alfredthegiraffe20 Dec 08 '25

Ignoring the colour/style etc for a split second, it doesn't remotely fit the brief of sunday best/smart casual. She's an idiot. Also it really doesn't matter if no one else has said anything, you the bride - the only one who matters - is saying something. She looks shit. Mind you the lady on the other side is more casual than smart. I hope you had a great time regardless.

7

u/MzSea Dec 08 '25

Cream is a variation of white.. and therefore, unacceptable.

This is as stupid as someone saying, "it's not purple, it's lilac."

6

u/ConfusedZubat Dec 08 '25

Anything that could be mistaken for white should be avoided unless explicitly okayed by the bride IMO. 

Her dress looks like it was white before a chain smoker used it to cover a window in their living room. 

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u/science_vs_romance Dec 08 '25

If your dress needs to come with a disclaimer, just don’t wear it.

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u/CoconutCaptain Dec 08 '25

She looks ridiculous, especially with the ugly cardigan over the top. The person the other side of you is also terribly dressed for a wedding, even if the dress code is on the more casual side.

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 08 '25

They're roommates and left together was probably also important context.

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u/happynargul Dec 08 '25

Was it white? Yes

Did she outshine you? Absolutely not. No comparison, especially with that hideous sweater.

So, I would not let her take away your happiness, but just for gossip's sake, What's her relationship with you?

6

u/Pinkleton Dec 08 '25

Yeah, no. That's a wedding dress, and the wrinkled sweater isn't hiding it.

6

u/RedHolly Dec 08 '25

That’s a wedding dress. She wore a wedding dress to your wedding. Even the cut makes it look like a wedding dress. Heck it took me a minute to figure out who the bride was before I read the post.

25

u/thekermiteer Dec 08 '25

Bless her trashy looking heart. She only embarrassed herself.

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u/Youcantevenspell Dec 08 '25

I would be more concerned for someone choosing to wear a creased blanket.

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u/Ipso-Pacto-Facto Dec 08 '25

She needs a sympathy card for that tragedy of cardigan at a wedding. All she needs is tissues like grandma to keep in the sleeve. She could have worn work clothes and done something with her hair and looked 100% better put together. Feel sorry for her. Passive aggressive at apparel a wedding is not a good look.

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u/portecochere Dec 08 '25

Your dress is so pretty!

4

u/exorcius Dec 08 '25

Plenty of brides wear cream instead of white? She’s lost her damn mind. 

6

u/Ok_Stable7501 Dec 08 '25

I’d go no contact with her just because of the cardigan. And the bag.

6

u/Unlucky-Situation524 Dec 10 '25

If either of your guests get married can I suggest you buy them an iron for a wedding present 😬

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u/Cluelessish Dec 08 '25

I think what ever is happening to the right in the picture is way worse.

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u/AgoraphobicDisaster Dec 09 '25

Ive been trying to defend her in the comments that I see about her. I am now regretting including her in my cropping, I did initially because I wanted to show that more casual clothing was seen as ok by me, even if casual and out of the dress code, I had thought she looked cute in it. I wasn't bothered by it because the girl is an absolute sweetheart albeit a bit socially oblivious- but it's part of what makes her her.

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u/jawanessa Dec 08 '25

Looks like a teenager to me

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