$1200.

That is how much it has cost me to be in this wedding. It's not even my wedding.

My suit rental. A "mandatory" trip out of town in a place where everything is overpriced to party for 1 night that ended up being so fucking stupid. Rehearsal dinner. Whatever else.

You didn't pay a cent for the trip - we covered you entirely because "We're getting married, all of our money went to that". Fuck you. And when I wanted to back out of the trip because I didn't want to spend $700 you both guilted me to no end until I gave in.

Great. Fuck off. You invited us to your wedding and then we are expected to pay for ourselves and you. There are 10 of us in the wedding party and between us we have shelled out over $12,000 towards this and that doesn't even include gifts and time away from our other priorities to cater to you.

Twelve hundred fucking dollars. And I spent the literal minimum every time.

And you expected us all to stop our lives for your wedding planning and outings, as if we don't have our own things going on.

And what's worse is that every single god damn day you messasge me saying "OMG I AM GETTING MARRIIIIEEEEDDDD!". Shut up. And quit asking me if I'm okay with things. I'm fucking not but if I tell you that, you'll create a whole dramatic situation out of it.

Fuck weddings. I can't wait until it's over so I can actually tell you how I feel. And I'm absolutely not the only one who feels this way.

I am never doing this again.

####child death trigger warning###

Paediatric ER, a young couple comes in. A six weeks old baby with fever. Sleepy a bit at first, but wakes up and cries during the exam. We start the workup, blood, urine and some good old observation.

A call comes in, its EMS, a 17 year old, active resuscitation, ten minutes away. We go into the trauma room, start preparing equipment, assigning roles.

EMS bursts in, mid compressions, and moves him onto the bed. First dose of epinephrine. The mother comes in, screaming, crying. The whole family outside is pounding on the door. We keep going, compressions, epinephrine, compressions, calcium, compressions, epinephrine, intubation, compressions, thinking of other ideas, nothing... we keep going.

Twenty minutes pass and the looks starts to change. We all know we should stop, that there's not much point anymore, but the mother keeps crying and screaming, who are we to stop? So we keep going, a little longer, for her.

Another twenty minutes pass and now it's clear, Enough, that's it.

Now all that's left is to give her time alone, with him.

I leave the room, sit down at the computer, and then remember. I still have that young couple from before. I check the lab results, see that everything is normal, the baby is vital, active, breathing...

I walk over to the parents, smile, and say "Well, it's probably viral.”

My husband just woke me up in a panic. “Hey, you’re going to be late for work”, but this is a usual day off for me. I tell him this and he throws his body back down on the bed and says “Shit, well I only took today off because I thought you’d be working.” Then proceeds to get angry and act like I’ve done something wrong. As far as I knew, he was feeling sick and took the day off to rest.

So…sorry I guess? I didn’t realize I’d be such a disruption to someone sleeping in bed or sitting on the couch playing video games. It hurts my feelings because the majority of the time I take off from work is to spend time with him. I didn’t realize I was the only one enjoying it.

Maybe I’ll just lay out across the sidewalk today to make my existence a problem to the whole neighborhood/s

My dad sent me a message last night with a screenshot of a warning that they must stay inside and find a safe place. Minutes after he sent that, he heard a loud explosion nearby. Then he started to call me on video call. I saw his face, he was safe but I can tell how scared he was. He was playing his guitar while alone in his house.

I cried, it hurts me to see him that way and to think that he’s alone in the middle of a war. He’s working all his life since 21 years old, he is now 58. He wants to work this far so he can give his family the life he didn’t have when he was young. I hope and pray that he remains safe and so everyone that is innocent. I pray these wars to be over 😔 please, stop the wars. I keep hoping that the next day I wake up, the world will be at peace and we won’t hear anything about innocent people dy*ng.

I said “I love you pa”, words that I barely say to my parents bc we’re never the family that say stuff like that to each other 😔

Not much to say, she was like a more senior employee a couple years older than me but in college with me, very tiny pale blonde woman. I always thought she was cute but when she said that she looked a lot cuter to me.

In our 40s, and I’m recently divorced, and she’s a single mother. Somehow we found each other, and it’s been nothing but bliss these last two years. Coming from a narcissistic cheating ex wife to this feels like being able to breathe again.

My issue, I’ve got major, and I mean diagnosed MAJOR imposter syndrome. I just have moments where I either feel unworthy of this woman, or I feel somehow I’m going to sabotage this because I have to make myself right.

I’ve already told her I’m going to marry her. Hell, I married the wrong woman, I cannot turn down marrying the right one now even though I swore off marriage again. However, she’s kind, she’s beautiful, she’s successful, has a great family, her kid adores me, we now live together, and she just loves me.

The sex is incredible, she’s funny, she’s interesting, she’s got amazing morals, and will calmly talk out a situation. We fight over food. She thinks well done steal is acceptable, and pronounces “plantain” in a way just to piss off my Jamaican sensibilities. Other than those two glaring crimson red flags, she’s amazing.

So, we went ring shopping. She picked out exactly what she wants. I am getting a deal because my client owns the store. This woman goes into a rant about two things in the car:

1: she should have to contribute to the ring because it’s BS a man has to spend all that money towards something that’s for her for her life, and even though we should fight the patriarchy, that doesn’t mean taking advantage of men.

2: I got into collecting watches, and if I’m buying a ring, then I deserve a watch of my choice.

Uhmm, maam, it’s my honour and duty to buy you the ring you want and deserve. I don’t need the help. Besides, my client is taking very very good care of me. I can afford this, no problem.
We’re in our early 40s, and she just became jaded. Men have failed her, and I get it, but still, she deserves the pomp and circumstance. I did it for the wrong woman, I want to do it for the right one now. Absolutely not.

On to the second issue, well less of an issue. She has now asked me 5 times in the last month to send her options of watches I want. Watches are my thing, and I buy styles, not prices. I just don’t know how comfortable I am with her buying me an engagement watch. Granted her reasons are kinda funny.

Her baby daddy, when they were together a decade ago, had once said in response to her asking about them getting married “what do I get out of it, are you going to buy me a watch?!” Stupid, but she wants to be petty and buy me a watch because that’s what he wanted. It’s literally the only reason I’m endorsing this. He and I get along great, but he is in fact very self centered.

Anyway, I’m off on a trip to the Caribbean for a bachelor party for my friend tomorrow, and I’ve cleaned the house, filled the car with gas, and have her breakfast prepped. I just needed to get things off my mind. She’s amazing, I can’t wait to marry her, and I need to be kinder to myself. We deserve each other.

Thanks for tagging along on this 1:30am ride

My boyfriend has always used self deprecating humour, but it doesn’t bother me because he’s very emotionally intelligent and doesn’t let his insecurities affect any aspect of his life.

Since we started dated he constantly makes jokes about how he has a small penis. For reference his penis is about 5inches which is just so average, not small at all.

It honestly really bothers me, I’m starting to think he actually thinks he’s small. And he makes these jokes around everyone. To the point his colleague asked if they could see out of interest.

It’s not my humour and it also seems crazy to me to, even in a joke, share that personal information so willingly with people. Like you know you don’t have to offer it up right?

Why do men do this, any insight on what is happening in his head?

I am profoundly depressed over RJ's death and I know a million others are depressed about it as well. As someone who struggles with a lot of skeletal and mental disabilities like osteoarthritis, hip dysplasia, autism, and scoliosis, I understand what it's like to feel ostracized in a world that wasn't made to support you. I constantly feel depressed and ostracized because of how people treat me for my disabilities. I cannot imagine the pain he has suffered and endured his whole life for having cerebral palsy, among the other challenges he had to face.

I hope his death, among others, is a wake up call to society. I hope suicide hotlines and mental health facilities begin educating their specialists and providers on how to support people who are marginalized because of their disabilities, because this CANNOT continue to happen. Everyone deserves support whether you are abled or not. This world shouldn't be built to only support those who are wealthy and already benefit from the system. We need to help our community more than ever, and if you refuse to help rebuild this corrupt society and continue to enable the wealthy and privileged who refuse to help minorities then YOU are the problem.

RJ Mitte, as I'm sobbing while writing this your advocacy and contributions to our community as a disability activist will not be forgotten. His impact as a disability activist has made a positive difference and we will always remember you in our hearts. I am sorry RJ that you had to suffer and die in silence, you did not deserve to endure that pain alone. I hope you rest in peace and I wish your family and loved ones all the best.

Edit: People should be angry because other marginalized groups and disabled people are dying at the hands of our corrupted, failed system, yet people continue to stay silent about it. I refuse to stay silent and I will continue to bring awareness to this topic. Disabled and marginalized lives matter. Mental health matters.

I apologize if my grammar is off. I am very emotional right now and do not have the mental capacity to correct my grammar.

Hey everyone, I’m still in absolute shock right now and my mind is honestly completely frozen rn. I just need to get this off my chest because I don't even know how to process it.

My best friend since middle school completely ghosted me back in June. I spent months genuinely worried about him. I tried messaging him, breaking the ice, and I even called his mom just to make sure he was physically okay and alive.

Then, out of nowhere this morning around 8:00 AM, my phone lights up. He unblocked me just to launch a massive, toxic text bomb. He demanded I take down any photos of him from my Instagram, told me to never contact him or his family again, and called my outreach a "circus."

I stayed completely calm. I used "I" statements, didn't match his anger, and just told him I was genuinely confused and asked what I did. Instead of giving me a rational explanation, he dropped a nuclear-level false accusation on me out of absolute nowhere, followed it up with a laughing emoji, and told me "bye."

When I showed some vulnerability and reminded him how much I had been worrying about him, he just doubled down on a delusion about an outside situation involving a girl, refused to give a single detail, and told me to "figure it out."

The context here is that over the last few months, he has started exploring heavier substances and got laced with a spice weed pen. From what I can tell, his brain is trapped in extreme, drug-induced paranoia and psychosis. He’s completely rewriting our history and turning my genuine worry into a plot against him.

I ended up sending him a final, peaceful goodbye message. I told him I respected his space, appreciated all our memories, and genuinely wished the best for him anyway. He blocked me right after.

I already archived the screenshots to protect myself legally and socially in case he tries to spread this defamation in rooms im not in. But honestly? It hurts like a sack of ducks. I feel traumatized, my trust is completely shattered, and I feel like I'm mourning the death of a brother who is still alive. We had all these plans to build our cars together and modify motorcycles together in the future, and now it feels like my life has just frozen.

Has anyone ever dealt with losing a lifelong friend to substance-induced paranoia? How do you handle the sting of your genuine worry being turned against you?

My mom got a puppy for me when I was 7-8 (im 15 years old now) and i remember her not being walked at all or rarely and how she would have knots/matts in her fur and she was just entirely poorly kept.

She's a lhasa apso and she's 8 years old now.

At 14 I realised the lack of care but only at 15 it actually hit me.

I walk her daily now

I've been filing her nails down once every 3 days to make the quick smaller

I brush her fur throughly daily

I've put her on tick and flea repellent that you put on once every 4 weeks

I've been making my mom bring her to the groomers every month

I brush her teeth once daily

I still feel fucking terrible.

The fact I didnt know you were meant to clean out her water bowl once a day until an hour ago

To think of her as a pup. Teenager. Young adult not being respected with any grace and dignity and just left to be sitting in a house sleeping her life away.

I regret having her at all because then she would've been able to live her life to the fullest if she had a proper home.

And the most horrific part is that it turns out she has only been vaccinated once as a puppy because it turns out my mom is an anti-vaxxer.

Now I've only now been walking her in a small park once a day for at least 10 minutes due to being scared but she's now getting her shots tomorrow so she can return running in the woods again.

And im so blessed shes healthy.

Just please dont fucking get your kids pets if you aren't willing to step in if you see noticeable neglect.

(And please lmk if im forgetting anything crucial to caring for her that i should note.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I was experiencing heart problems and went to urgent care to avoid the ER. The receptionist told me to go to the ER, which really pissed me off. They still could’ve looked at me and told me it was anxiety related.

I went to the ER anyways. I was there for only 30 minutes and the entire place was dead. That should’ve been my first sign to leave.

They did a quick ECG, found nothing, and the doctor explained to me what heart palpitations were like I was a child. That really pissed me off. I just knew I wasted my time and will be billed an absurd amount for it.

I was billed $5,000 for my visit. I’m probably going to owe like $2,200 or so with insurance. I have the money, but it still pisses me off that I’m paying nearly an entire month’s pay out of pocket just because the ER was the only place at that moment with an ECG to rule out serious issues. Also, $5K? Really?

This experience only confirms that going to the doctor is never worth the financial burden they put on you. It always costs too much. It induces stress and just makes things worse.

I’m going to pay this shit and drop my insurance altogether. I’m not paying $500 a month to get fucked like this. If I’m ever in a life-threatening situation, I’m just going to die naturally instead of going to another hospital again. Fuck this country and its shitty healthcare system.

It doesn’t make any sense because he’s not like anyone I would typically be into. I’m just his assistant and we don’t even talk all the time. We just had to spend some time together at an evening event and he grew on me a lot.

Awhile back I had this disturbing sex dream about him and I especially wasn’t interested back then. The dream itself wasn’t disturbing, I was just disturbed I ever had it given I hadn’t even seen him in that way.

I have this issue where I love the attention of men much older than I. Big problem for me because I consider my morals very strong and would never act on it. Even thinking about it has become a burden to me.

Few weeks went by and I’m slowly getting to know him better. I like to make him laugh, and I’m desperate for him to like me even though I know he does. We have fun and laugh a lot but it is such a weird dynamic. I caught him staring at my ass at least twice today and that gets super distracting.

I guess I just know he thinks I’m sexy, and I think it’s sexy that he thinks I’m sexy yk what I mean??? Anyway this is fucked had to get it #offmychest because it’s #eatingmeupinside. It’s just idiotic bc Ik it’s wrong but I can’t just drop it??? Like my mind wanders. Chemicals, pheromones all involved it’s just making me crazy. I’m also ovulating.

I have never told a single soul irl I did this. I did not good things for money with men.

And I forgive myself. Escaping DV was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had to get the money somehow. So I found men. Men who were willing to pay me for.. services. Money wasn't great but all helped contribute to me saving enough money to escape back then. And I then got a normal job. I did it.

Im safe now though Id be lying if I said my struggle was over. It isnt. I'm picking up a third job to boost my savings. I had a lot to pay off.

But... I forgive myself for what I did back then. For the longest time I felt dirty and low for resorting to it. But what else did I have? I applied job after job but who wanted me with no experience? People seem to think you apply and you magically get a job. You dont. We were a poor household and obviously the ones being violent towards me wouldnt have gave me pocket money. I did what was needed back then. I survived. I don't feel shame or guilt anymore.

I don't know if posting this there will be people trying to instill guilt in me or not. But atleast it won't work. I finally forgive me.

And that’s fine, I don’t think anyone making small talk with me realizes that!

I just tell them I’ve always wanted to live in Europe, and I fell in love with London so I stayed. I’ve built a life here now.

I’ve lived in the UK for 5 years now, I still need another 5 for residency unfortunately bc the visas I’ve been on so far qualify for the 10-year route (let’s hope my company sponsors me lol, it should be a yes but director needs to confirm).

But why is the question difficult for me? Well, yes it’s true that I like being in Europe etc etc. The real reason I got pushed to start a new life far away is bc I grew up with a very manipulative, sinister, narcissistic abusive mother. My dad was an enabler in her abuse and my brother has taken after my mom unfortunately. My mom has done and said things to my siblings and I that are so horrific, it would make you wonder how she wasn’t arrested. She fully exploited my sister for example and my mom even pretended to give me away once.

The trauma from my upbringing impacts my daily life. I’m always convinced my bf is suddenly going to be angry with me and will hate me. At work if I made a slight error with a calculation even, my whole body shakes from fear, even if no one notices anything (bc people in my org make mistakes daily with the workload we have).

So, I would like to stay far away from my family (minus my sister) and the setting I grew up in for as long as possible. I’ve built a life far away with very normal, kind, stable friends, and now a very loving and peaceful boyfriend. I never want to experience what I had the first 23 years of my life again.

So that’s why I am choosing to stay so far from California, or the US generally.

But of course, I’ll never say that to a stranger I just met who’s asking why I’d leave sunny California for gloomy London.

RJ Mitte's death has affected me deeply. I never once cried or felt a strong sense of sadness around a public figure's death until now.

As someone who lives with a non-physical disability, I know too well that there is an all consuming exhaustion that comes from having to navigate a world that wasn't made for you, and being expected to do in stride. Spending your life being excluded, discriminated against, bullied, treated as less than your peers, has dire psychological consequences.

We often see people visibly disabled people are expected to be inspirational, resilient, cheerful, and endlessly determined. Society celebrates people who overcome barriers without questioning why these barriers exist in the first place or working toward lesseninf these barriers. Disabled people should not have to turn their lives into inspirational, heart string tugging stories to deserve dignity.

With all this said, I don't want to make assumptions about the circumstances surrounding what drove him to take his life or what he was going through mentally; but my thoughts remain: disabled people deserve so much more support than what they recieve and the barriers and prejudices they encounter should not be dismissed as simply part of life.

Rest in peace, RJ.

Edit: typo

I wish i was never born here , wish I didn’t have to see racism every time i open social media, I wish I could see myself as a person instead of a stereotype , I wish I was a stronger person and mostly I wish the world was a kinder place.

i dont really know man. im 23, had always felt like nobody could ever want sex w me. i had posted on an r4r subreddit of my city about wanting to give oral to a woman, as it had been a long time fantasy of mine, she dmd. me, a 35 yo, gorgeous woman in my mind.

she came over the next week, we met in public first, went for some drinks, then my place. things happened, it was nice. then the next week she texted me if she can come over after work, and she did. things happened again.

she told me she had alot of fun. and told me to text her whenever.

i texted her the same day saying i had alot of fun and that i hope to see her soon again. two days after i texted her again just to see that i was blocked.

kind of insane. i kind of feel sexually inadequate, i hope thats not what it was. women have never really been into me in any sense, especially sexually… so im kinda just struggling, because… idk. i think i need sex in my life and i now struggle seeing how i can find it

I don't want to sound full of myself to my friends so throwaway.

I am so fucking proud of myself!!! I can't stop looking in the mirror, I look great in everything, my skin is glowing, my body looks fantastic( my 🍆 is gigantic, to the point where it's like.. " where the hell did that thing even come from???"🤣) the hard work paid off big time. People fumble over their words and get shy when speaking to me. I'm getting noticed everywhere I go which at first made me really uncomfortable. it triggered the sub conscious part of my brain that was always noticed for being the BIGGEST person in the room. I always felt like I never belonged anywhere now I feel at home within myself, a feeling Never experienced.

A woman I met today at the park said something along the lines of " you're so easy to talk to , you're so nice." I was like " thanks I used to be really fat so I had to develope a personality. "

So proud of you... Me. You're an inspiration .

Girl voice talking to her dog awwww uu sooo haansummmmmm pinches own cheeks

Im sorry for the long read.
My husband (28M) and I (27NB) were celebrating our two year anniversary and after we had been doing a kinda intense drinking game we were both very intoxicated and my husband was looking for his vape juice, and it’s about 2:30 am
I said I think it might be in his car so he went looking, he quickly came back in and grabbed his car keys, before I could say or do anything he ran out, started his car and left..
I instantly tried calling his phone only to realize he left it on the couch, so I had no way to contact him and to know if he was okay or where he went.
I’m was just waiting at home not knowing what to do while he’s somewhere drunk and driving to god knows where, and my only clue was he possibly went to get vape juice and all I could think of was he’s going to get into a car crash and die and I won’t know and the police would have no way to contact me because he left his wallet on the table..

While minutes are passing away in a agonizing pace my heart it pounding and I’m trying not to cry, 5 minutes roll around im sitting here freaking out about to call my mom because she’s an emt and im about to ask if she can watch her scanner in case anyone matching my husband comes across her feed, when i hear my husband’s car pulling into the driveway,
He comes in all giddy, looks at me cus im glaring at him and asked why do you look like that? I tell him cus I’m pissed.
Apparently he thought it would be fun to redline his car cus no one would be around at 2:30 in the morning.

He said all he was was thinking about was that it would be fun and he was just going around the block and then back so it would harmless fun

Not thinking about the fact he didn’t tell me what he was doing and I had to sit there hoping he wasn’t going to die and make me become a widow on our second anniversary.
After explaining this to him while crying and reminding him that I severely disapprove of driving while drunk,
He apologized about the fact that he didn’t realize that’s how I would feel about him just getting into his car and leaving like that and he didn’t know I would immediately start worrying about that and panic,

But he’s not sorry about the fact that he drove while drunk.. because in his words no one was around and it’s harmless..
this whole thing has deeply hurt me, I can’t understand why he did it and I’m upset he doesn’t see a problem drinking and driving
I’m also upset that he didn’t even think about me while he was doing this,
To me his actions reflect that of someone who is single and this should not be the actions of someone who has been married for 2 years… how could he not think of how something like this could effect his family

I’m so deeply hurt by this that I haven’t accepted his apology
And I don’t know how to not be upset about this and I just really needed to rant to get my feelings out

Thank you if you took the time to read this

I found out I’ve got cancer again. Skin cancer this time. The shittiest part is that I have nobody to tell. At least I won’t have to have multiple organs removed. Less time in recovery. Gotta think about the positives. 🙄

Probably one of those instances where I’m being too sensitive but I don’t care.

Every video and post against suicide mentions your loved ones, or how your family and friends will feel/react the morning after you leave them.

And there are so many people who literally have none and none will be affected if they die.

It genuinely feels like a mockery for lonely people.

Ive seen news of people who killed themselves and weren’t found until days after, sometimes even weeks. because they had none. its more common than what you think.

Every time I see these posts I can’t help but imagine these people reading then knowing that they are all alone.

45M. In 2021, my wife divorced me. As a coping mechanism, I went online and matched with a woman that was going through the same thing. Her, 36F, 3 kids. She also was in the midst of separating from her abusive (physical, emotional) when we got together. Despite not listening to my gut, we continued to move forward with a relationship, however I never sought to involve myself in her family life, and wanted to take things slowly. She would often talk about how her ex drained their finances, refused to work for years and barely wanted to play a role in their kid's lives. I supported her in many ways. From providing encouragement with her career growth (single mother going back into the workforce) to contributing financially to help her through difficult times. I tried my best to maintain my boundaries while being a good partner. At some point, she even moves into an apartment in my neighborhood across the street.

Fast forward a couple years, she stops communicating with me. I'm the one always reaching out and trying to maintain an open channel. At some point, I ask to meet with her to end things officially as something was obviously happening which she didn't want to talk about. It truly felt like she was trying to avoid speaking with me because she wanted to avoid lying to me. About what? I was never sure. Perhaps because I couldn't give her the type of relationship she wanted (step daddy to a family where her kid's father was abusive, negligent and violent).

Following months of no-contact, healing and working on myself physically and spiritually, I notice that her abusive ex husband is now my neighbor. Today, returning home after my morning walk, I see the both of them and their three kids waiting for the school bus. She sees me and attempts to hide, but failed. I look at the ground, shake my head, and enter my home.

I wasted YEARS on a relationship I should never have pursued, with someone I believed was honest, but likely never was. To return to an abusive ex which you rescued from homelessness following your separation and to cut off someone that genuinely cared for you and wanted to support your growth feels like such a betrayal. All goodwill I had for her following our separation has evaporated. Everything was built on lies and I feel absolutely stupid investing so much time and energy in someone that decided to discard me for someone she supposedly fled from because of abuse and lack of respect.

I will never ever let myself be led by the idea of a person or their potential. I've learned a lot about myself and my weaknesses and patterns. On that basis, it's not a complete waste, however I played myself.

After I went to therapy today I called two of my closest friends and just told them, I also told my dad in the car on the way home. It feels like I’m going to throw up but at the same time it’s nice to get it off my chest. It went way better then I thought it would, nobody really cared at all and it was the best possible outcome, can’t believe I didn’t do this earlier honestly.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I've always been a big reddit user but more of a browser or for quick trades and I doubt anyone will read this but I don't know what to do anymore. My friends don't understand. My family doesn't know. All I have is one dying family member and I don't want them to worry about me but I can't breathe anymore.

I received notification from my gfs or I guess my ex gfs parents that she killed herself.

We had some issues I think but I thought they were small. I also truly thought if we broke up we'd always be friends. But then one day she was just done.

Then the threats started. Anonymous accounts. Telling me she'd cheated on me. Telling me she hates me. I think threatening her too but I don't know. Apparently she went back to an ex?? Idfk.

My address leaked online. Telling people to SA me. And I tried to talk to my ex about it. She blocked me. Fucking everywhere. Because that's what all the threats were. Telling us to never speak again and then I got notification she passed away. She killed herself. If she hadn't met me. She'd still be alive right now. I killed her.