Bf says I taste bad…

[u/Kazen1Kura]

So for context me and my bf have been dating for a year. Normally I am super self conscious about receiving anything oral and always deny it. But my bf will insist and do it anyway. A few times he’s brought up about how I taste bad like piss.

Now I am someone who loves hygiene and body care, it’s like therapy for me. When he says this I try to take it into consideration and be extra clean but I just can’t see where he’s coming from. I have a wash for down there, i mostly eat clean whole foods, and i take pre/probiotics.

This time it hurt my feelings because before we did it I took an everything shower and felt so clean and pretty now all of a sudden he’s saying I tasted like pee. He doesn’t say it in a mean way. I made a joke about him not eating me like that when he was eating icecream and he went “I mean…the last two times it tasted like piss. I don’t know if you’re cleaning it. Clean it babe.” But i do? I’m not sure what to do i’m petrified of getting head now, I never want do it again. He’s apologizing profusely and saying he’ll never say it again but jeez now i’m scared.

He’s also done this by saying my breath stinks and my tongue is too white. I’ve never gotten butt hurt over this but I just don’t understand because I brush my teeth, floss, and have a tongue scrapper. Yes, my breath smells after eating fragrant foods or waking up in the morning or when i’m dehydrated. But his breath smells terrible too i’ve just never went up to him and said it.

I guess I just want advice is this normal? Should I be more receptive? I already have an intensive body care plan, what else can I do? He doesn’t even do half of what I do. He literally had 1 native body wash he used with his hands until I met him and changed his regimen so why is he so judgmental?

Dinner: Poke burrito with ramune soda!

**EDIT: So I use her fantasy box sensitive probiotic+ I use a wash because I work out a lot and I feel like it leaves so much sweat to use water. Should I try ditching the wash for a while and see?

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[u/Slothfulness69]

I wonder if maybe he’s tasting his own saliva on your skin? You said he has bad breath, so it tracks that it would taste bad to him.

Not to sound crass, but if you’re comfortable with it, you could try tasting yourself and seeing what it’s like. I have a feeling he’s exaggerating to break down your self esteem. Also like you said, he doesn’t have to be so mean about it. My husband and I tell each other when there’s a hygiene issue but we’re both very gentle about it because it’s obviously a sensitive topic

[u/noisy_goose → u/Slothfulness69]

Agree - OP find out for yourself!

It’s routine for me during sex to have some transfer so I know how I taste - I would definitely want some evidence to either troubleshoot the man or the flavor.

[u/randomcode411 → u/noisy_goose]

I need troubleshoot the man as a flair lmao

[u/BellamyDunn → u/randomcode411]

https://giphy.com/gifs/9PTaAhwri56V2

[u/gill_smoke → u/randomcode411]

👆

[u/alexandria3142 → u/noisy_goose]

And could just be that you dislike your own flavor still. My husband absolutely loves how I taste but I can't stand it at all. If he goes inside, he does not go back in my mouth 😅

[u/noisy_goose → u/alexandria3142]

That’s also a good point - preference for specific tastes is subjective, and everyone has a different skill set for identifying taste/flavors.

At minimum “pee” is a common variable OP can at least hope to rule out.

[u/alexandria3142 → u/noisy_goose]

Kinda makes you wonder what he means by pee though. Like has he tasted pee before and knows the actual taste? Is he basing it off smell? Does it smell like pee a little and maybe that's affecting what he's tasting so it reminds him of pee? I dunno.

Mine is just very acidic which is why I'm not a fan

[u/GiraffeLiquid → u/Slothfulness69]

Yeah I was thinking maybe he has some halitosis or something and thinks everything smells off.

[u/ModeratelyAlive → u/Slothfulness69]

The meanness of it is such a huge red flag. I dated a man once who was like that, and it made me so self conscious - but no one after that had any problem enthusiastically making their way down there. Zero complaints.

[u/Reckless_Secretions → u/ModeratelyAlive]

My high-school boyfriend went down on me for the first time...then ran to the bathroom gagging and rinsed out his mouth and brushed his teeth immediately like he couldn’t bare to taste me one second longer. As it turned out, he really liked to find any way to put me down, going as far as to chat up girls in my absence, then dare them to come up and flirt with him while we were walking around together.

Check yourself first, OP. If all is well with your little miss, dump him for being a shitty arsehole.

[u/ImWatermelonelyy → u/Reckless_Secretions]

I’m sorry but I would have laughed out loud at that kind of theatrical ass performance. Like brother fucking relax, it has never been that serious

[u/Lovelipgloss13 → u/Slothfulness69]

Oh wait this actually makes sense!!

[u/Bobpantyhose → u/Slothfulness69]

I agree with this heavily. I can smell or taste when someone is dehydrated, and almost everyone is, particularly at the end of a long day. I let my partners know, but it’s usually a gentle, “Hey, you might need some water. Want me to grab you some?” If they act confused, I say, “I can smell when someone’s dehydrated. Don’t worry, it’s not a stink, it is just something I pick up on.”

Similarly, my partner usually says something like, “I think I’m going to shower. Will you come with me?” when he thinks I’m a lil smelly (again, at the end of a long day, not like I’m a smelly person overall).
There’s no need to make them feel self conscious or bad about themselves in order to have that conversation.

[u/Charming_Garbage_161 → u/Slothfulness69]

I can also state on a random note that when I actually tasted bad it was bc I had the start of a yeast infection and didn’t know but tbf my ex husband was cheating and giving me infections frequently

[u/jmw112358 → u/Slothfulness69]

And if he doesn’t like the way she tastes and she doesn’t really love oral - why doesn’t he just….not? It makes more sense that he’s trying to neg her for sure (obligatory although we also don’t KNOW that is the reason but is harping on her personal hygiene lends itself to the theory for sure).

[u/ofcgoodnamesaretaken → u/Slothfulness69]

My bf always uses mouth wash beforehand!! But also I am blessed and he has a terrible sense of smell lol

[u/Kind_Application_893 → u/ofcgoodnamesaretaken]

And it doesn’t burn you at all?? I’m just imagining minty freshness on my bits 😬😬

[u/amimaybeiam → u/Slothfulness69]

Get him to lick the back of his hand and sniff.

[u/sugaredcinnamon]

Girl if you don’t tell that chud his breath stank imma be real mad, don’t let him talk to you like that and also he is so rude who talks like that to their girl

[u/anon_simmer → u/sugaredcinnamon]

Apparently he doesn't use shampoo and conditioner either and he's complaining about her? Naw fuck that.

[u/Punchasheep → u/anon_simmer]

Makes me really wonder if a. she goes down on him and b. how nasty he tastes/smells.

[u/DreamyClouddy → u/sugaredcinnamon]

Honestly, I'd be more concerned about him ignoring your reluctance than the taste comments. If you say no, he should stop asking. Consent isn't something he gets to wear you down on.

[u/DistractionCitron → u/DreamyClouddy]

She should be equally concerned about both. He's driving her crazy.

[u/hazyandnew → u/DreamyClouddy]

Pressures her into something she doesn't want to do, then makes her feel so awful she never wants to do it again, but keep pressuring her into it and keep making mean comments.

Make it make sense (The answer is negging and the like)

[u/fuglyjeans → u/DreamyClouddy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2U8kP5wTCr5QI

[u/Extra_Examination706]

This reminds me of a story I read where a woman was dating a man who told her every morning without fail that she stunk, even though she bathed religiously and always wore deodorant. Her hygiene routine kept getting more and more extreme (i.e. bathing at least twice a day, even if she didn’t work out) until she finally snapped and told him that he should date someone who doesn’t stink and she was done.

He panicked of course and it was revealed he was doing that because his father taught him that he needed to neg his partner to lower her self esteem until it was so low that she couldn’t believe anyone else would ever want her and she’d therefore stay with him forever so she wouldn’t be alone.

Not saying that’s what your boyfriend is doing but.. the similarities are striking and concerning. Even if he has genuine concerns about how you taste / smell (which I doubt), there’s a right way to bring it up- that is, in a way that isn’t mean or hurts your feelings, but he’s choosing to be an ass about it.

[u/Fantastic_Owl6938 → u/Extra_Examination706]

I thought the way he said it sounded extremely patronizing. "I don't know if you're cleaning it. Clean it, babe"??? Like yeah, I'm sure she's never cleaned it and needs you to tell her, wtf. I wouldn't be surprised if you were right.

[u/Extra_Examination706 → u/Fantastic_Owl6938]

No fr, my blood boiled reading that part. I would become permanently disgusted by a man if he ever said some shit like that to me, ngl

[u/Fantastic_Owl6938 → u/Extra_Examination706]

I don't think I'd ever be able to be around someone like that again if they talked to me like that. Let alone have sex with them! That comment would just replay in my head.

[u/suhhhrena → u/Fantastic_Owl6938]

I literally saw red when I read that part. It’s condescending af

[u/Fantastic_Owl6938 → u/suhhhrena]

Kind of surprised so many of the comments are instructions of how to clean downstairs rather than focusing on that (though there's also a good portion of negging ones).

[u/SoilJust4164 → u/Fantastic_Owl6938]

I mentioned in my comment that she should reconsider her relationship AND she shouldn’t be washing her vagina with soaps because that’s actually really important considering she’s contemplating whether she tastes bad and it’s likely she does not. It is important for her to understand that she can stop using these products that could be harmful to her, just like it is important for her to understand that her bf is no good. Some women are not taught these important hygiene practices especially when things like “everything showers” are made popular by social media.

[u/PixieStyx8 → u/Fantastic_Owl6938]

I just took a shower and used feminine wash, but yeah. It's dirty. Maybe it's your rancid breath, bro.

[u/killyergawds → u/Extra_Examination706]

I immediately thought of that post. Dudes really be doing this kind of thing when they're out here using a 14-in-1 and their literal hand to shower.

[u/porcelain_kiss → u/killyergawds]

A 14 in 1 LMFAOOO im crying cause its so true 🤣

[u/PixieStyx8 → u/Extra_Examination706]

She went to her doctor she was so worried about smelling weird and it was just the pathetic man

[u/SaiyanPrincess28 → u/Extra_Examination706]

https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/s/cMx4Sf1TiT

Figured I’d drop the link

[u/BlueberryRat2 → u/Extra_Examination706]

This is exactly what I was thinking

[u/anthonystank → u/Extra_Examination706]

It’s this or he’s too lazy to eat pussy and wants an excuse to skip it or both. Wretched man

[u/hazyandnew → u/anthonystank]

But she doesn't like it and had to be convinced into it! If he didn't want to eat her out, he could've just kept his mouth shut.

[u/anthonystank → u/hazyandnew]

Oh damn I didn’t even catch that I was too angry at him already. Okay he’s a pig and a loser and he just thinks insulting his gf is a good way to keep her.

[u/SolidDandylion → u/Extra_Examination706]

Also he's assaulting her but no one is responding to that part of the post!? 

[u/Heelsbythebridge → u/Extra_Examination706]

I also agree this is what's likely happening.

[u/ceciliabee → u/Extra_Examination706]

This is exactly where my mind went too

[u/Lopsided_Panic_1148 → u/Extra_Examination706]

I remember that story and I believe it. When I was younger, I dated a man who would make little negative comments like, "I can't kiss you because all I can see is the peach fuzz over your lips." I immediately ran out and got wax, came home, and waxed it. He was "meh" about it all. And then he'd get annoyed if I left a pair of socks on the floor in the bedroom, but when I pointed out he left his socks on the stairs, he yelled and said, "They're close to the washing machine, that's why they're there!"

Some men just love negging women to make themselves feel less insecure.

[u/Extra_Examination706 → u/Lopsided_Panic_1148]

It geninuely seems to me like most men hate women, but still want to shack up with us because it benefits them. Because they hate us though, they become resentful of our presence and are mean like what you described. That's probably why so many men complain that their wife is a nag, when the reality is she's literally just asking them to share basic adult responsibilities around the house. A completely valid thing to expect from a partner who is your equal, but because they hate us, us expecting reciprocal effort from them pisses them off.

I'm so sick of grown ass men being immature man babies, ugh.

[u/Mysterious-Potato782 → u/Extra_Examination706]

YES I immediately thought of that story as well. Men are fucking ridiculous.

[u/Wooden-Limit1989 → u/Extra_Examination706]

He is definitely doing that. Because one she is trying and he still says it smells off and he also said her breath smelled. What are the chances she is smelling badly in both places! Even though she is careful with her hygiene in both places before and during the relationship.

Some men really sabotage their own selves.

[u/noonereallyexists → u/Extra_Examination706]

My most recent ex bf did this to me. I never knew this was even an idea that men would execute. After 9+ months of being broken down little by little to the point where I felt crazy, I finally realized how poorly I had been treated over time. Ex admitted to me after I dumped him that he did this to me on purpose, that he did it to his three sisters growing up as well, and then laughed in my face about it.

Moral of the story: it’s certainly not out of the question that your partner, a person who you believe you can trust, would still do this. I hope that is not the case with OP. Sorry you’re going through this girl <3

[u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

Honestly it kinda sounds like he wants you to be insecure. Sometimes men will do that in order to psychologically trap a woman in the relationship

[u/Beastxtreets → u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

My bff's husband for years would tell her thather vaginas was "pokey" inside and hurt him. Or she was too tight/too loose/any excuse that blamed her body on why they couldn't have sex/he couldn'tget it up. She went to the OB a few times to try and figure it out but nothing was wrong with her.

Welpppp, come to find out the real issue was her husband's crippling porn addiction!! He just blamed her body to try and get the pressure off of himself. They're both in therapy now and she is doing better but, even though its years later, she still has a lot of self esteem issues in the pussy department because of this shit.

So be mindful OP.

[u/Intelligent_Fly6075 → u/Beastxtreets]

Heart breaking. That the person she chose for a life partner could be so fucking cruel out of childish deflection 🤮

[u/Beastxtreets → u/Intelligent_Fly6075]

For realll!! It absolutely breaks my heart for her because she didn't deserve any of that, ya know?

[u/Midgetrails → u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

This was my thought too. He's negging on her and making her feel bad.

I'm glad OP has the receipts of already having a good body care routine because there's no way freshly showered genitals taste like piss.

Also what does tongue too white even mean

[u/GlitterCherrry → u/Midgetrails]

You don't need to become more receptive to criticism about your body. If he apologizes, good, but watch what he does next. You deserve to feel safe and wanted, not like you're constantly failing some hygiene test.

[u/Kazen1Kura → u/Midgetrails]

that’s why i’m so confused like what more can i do? i don’t get any cleaner then fresh out the shower.

[u/Marvelous-Miss → u/Kazen1Kura]

Nothing except take a step back and ask what his actual motives are here. He knows your routine. He is basically begging to do this and then saying this shit to you. He isnt following up with anything like concern for health, or your well being. Ao what the fuck is his point. Actually ci sider this OP. Its not just passive. He has done this multiple times for you, and here you are asking us what MORE can you do.

[u/Midgetrails → u/Kazen1Kura]

You can't do anything more if your goal is to please or appease this dude because it's a fake problem.

There's a non-zero/small chance you have BV (bacterial vaginosis, although the characteristic odor there is fishy, not "piss") but other than that— I'm afraid that the confusion, insecurity, and paranoid doubts you're feeling now are the point.

Earlier today I saw something that said "Stop giving him the benefit of the doubt and instead start doubting the benefit of him", and unfortunately I think that applies here.

Edit: formatting

[u/beeahug → u/Kazen1Kura]

This is reminding me of the story of the girl whose bf kept telling her she had horrible BO when she didn’t. He was just negging her the whole time.

Maybe I’m wrong, but they read SO similarly. I linked the post in case you do find it helpful!!

[u/Hesitation-Marx → u/Kazen1Kura]

Check with your OBGYN, and if they give you the all-clear…. Dump him.

[u/officialdiscoking → u/Kazen1Kura]

You can leave this guy

[u/Fragmentedmindwar → u/Kazen1Kura]

Hey I read that you have a “wash for down there.” Listen, gynecologist recommended that you just wash the vulva with warm water. Otherwise you can throw off your pH by killing the good bacteria responsible for pH control, lubrication etc.

Some soaps have an ammonia smell, which could attribute to a “urine like smell” potentially. Especially if it’s non scented. I personally can smell the ammonia and chemicals of unscented soaps. I’ve heard others they can’t smell it. I’m going to say that that can be a variation from person to person on who can smell it or not.

Gynecologist also do not recommended “feminine washes” it’s all bullshit. Strips your natural protectant and is harmful to your delicate pH.

Now that’s addressed.

It’s far more likely that he’s being a jerk and tearing down your self esteem. Some guys do that. Pay attention if he does other put downs in the form of “joking.” I encourage you to start paying attention to said jokes and hear what he’s actually saying to you. Only you will know with any certainty if he is out of line.

Or it could be he genuinely doesn’t like the smell of vaginas. That happens, you don’t have to like the smell of vaginas. But if it’s a healthy vagina and taking care of it’s impolite to make comments on it.

I’ve been with a few women whose natural scent is just stronger and I personally didn’t find it the most pleasant. I’ve been with men that no matter how they wash still smell like strong on their genitals too. That’s just human variation. Some peoples smells are different than others. He should either not go down on you if he finds it unpleasant or if he still finds it a deed worth doing shut the fuck up about it.

Alright sis. Think about what we’ve been saying and analyze your situation in a logical way, try to not add your emotions to it. If this was a one time hook up how would you react.

[u/Still_Peach568 → u/Fragmentedmindwar]

Who doesn't like the smell? Smells wonderful. The propaganda against pussy has been one very weird cope of the patriarchy.

[u/Lovelipgloss13 → u/Kazen1Kura]

Change your man

[u/Firefly_Magic → u/Kazen1Kura]

Yeah, I have to agree. I’m not sure he’s being honest with you. Maybe having you as an insecure person he thinks this will prevent any cheating or something? When you think about it, smells and tastes can go sideways in so many different directions but he’s specifically saying ‘piss’. So unless you have a bladder problem, I’m calling BS especially right after a shower.

The only other option is, he’s not into you and that’s an another tough pill to swallow, that will require bigger decisions on your part.

[u/SelectionAgile1352 → u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

This is the only explanation for me. My ex used to do this w my breath, mind you he was a chainsmoker so his shit wasn’t exactly smelling like roses all the time. He was very mean and regularly did little things like that to make me feel like shit, even while I was having a depressive episode

[u/MollyAyana → u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

Yes. That happens. But what if OP does have an unpleasant odor and is just completely unaware of it? It’s okay to receive genuine feedback even when it’s not what we want to hear.

I had an ex who had the most horrible bad breath. I couldn’t stand kissing him. I would initially “share” breath mints when we hung out then at some point offered to brush our teeth together. When I eventually told him his breath was pretty bad, he didn’t get offended but was bewildered because he brushed and flossed twice a day. Turns out, he had a tooth abscess with no pain symptoms because it was a death tooth nerve. It smelled rancid.

So maybe OP’s boyfriend is a total asshole/jerk or maybe OP needs to see a doctor to see if there’s an undetected condition that may make her smell badly down there.

[u/Tall-Hospital-4921 → u/MollyAyana]

It’s possible that she has an odor down there. However, I highly doubt that she ALSO has a mouth problem that is making her breath stink. OP seems to be almost obsessive with hygiene and this could possibly be something that the boyfriend has noticed and is choosing to target.

[u/MollyAyana → u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

That’s also a good point. OP, is your boyfriend obsessive with hygiene, cleanliness and smells? Or only when it pertains to you?

[u/Kazen1Kura → u/MollyAyana]

not necessarily? he says he does but i don’t see it. before me he only had 1 wash and only his hands, no skincare, never shampooed or conditioned his hair because he said its better natural, sitting in gym clothes etc. he also said his ex tasted like fish

[u/Additional_Local_863 → u/Kazen1Kura]

No shampoo and conditioner is crazy while complaining about your hygiene. Him saying his ex tastes like fish while also complaining about you sounds like he doesn’t like women.

[u/KiloJools → u/Kazen1Kura]

What the fuck? This literally unwashed man has the AUDACITY?

Again: WASH HIM OUT OF YOUR PUBIC HAIR

Garbage, garbage, garbage.

[u/judgementalhat → u/Kazen1Kura]

The fact that he said that about his ex to you is fucked. Get away from this man, please

[u/Odd_Recognition_690 → u/Kazen1Kura]

Sitting in gym clothes?? No shampoo?! Disgusting. Does he wash his privates either?

[u/prettydrooI → u/Kazen1Kura]

this man hates women holy shit RUN

[u/Mountain-Tree1612 → u/Kazen1Kura]

Eww that is disgusting. Honestly dump him there are better men out there!

[u/Silly-Hyena7041 → u/Kazen1Kura]

I’m sorry - are you saying that he only washed his body and used his hands to do so?? He never washed his hair?! Genuinely, wtf?

[u/BeBetterEvryday → u/Tall-Hospital-4921]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GVezwI9lRuul6q4dD6

[u/ElevensesAndChill]

The only man I was intimate with who dragged me like that just also happened to be an emotionally abusive asshole.

Not saying your boyfriend is, but. You know. Just be alert for any other red flags.

[u/No_Investment3205]

First off feminine hygiene washes are not good for you. Stick to plain water. He could be tasting some kind of chemical from the wash instead of your natural taste. Second—maybe he’s negging you because honestly what kind of dork complains about breath to this extent.

[u/DreamyClouddy → u/No_Investment3205]

The fact that he insists on doing it when you say no, then criticizes you afterward, is the biggest red flag here. You don't owe him oral sex, and you definitely don't owe him a body that tastes like whatever he expects.

[u/EnvironmentalLime464 → u/DreamyClouddy]

I read it as negging the entire time because of this aspect. He recognizes she has some insecurities when it comes to that and he is intentionally feeding those insecurities.

[u/rosemacarontea → u/DreamyClouddy]

Yeah OP glosses right over that but it’s so completely disgusting and unacceptable.

[u/SavagePengwyn → u/No_Investment3205]

The existence of feminine washes pisses me off so much. Companies have been making money by convincing women that their bodies are gross and smelly without any concern for their actual health for years. Listerine was once marketed as a feminine wash. Generations of women used talcum powder for "down there freshness". Turns out, it gives you cancer. It's just so unnecessary, damaging, and insulting.

[u/CloudySide7 → u/SavagePengwyn]

The whole idea that women are supposed to smell like flowers down there and taste like some kind of candy is rooted in so much misogyny.

It's an organ. Blood, discharge and pee are all produced/come out of that general region. It produces hormones to clean itself. It's not gonna smell like roses or taste like candy.

[u/Dolmenoeffect → u/CloudySide7]

For anyone who's never had the opportunity to discover:

Vaginas don't taste bad. They just have their own distinct smell and taste. Unless something's up like an infection or the woman is taking certain medicines, they will have a tangy, slightly metallic aroma.

[u/_heavy_emo_shoegaze_ → u/Dolmenoeffect]

With many, many lingus encounters under my tongue, I can confirm that most of the time, there is nothing at all bad about it.

I have also tasted a yeast infection. That, my darlings, was quite remarkably unpleasant.

[u/derpality → u/_heavy_emo_shoegaze_]

I love how you worded everything in this comment 😂

[u/Dolmenoeffect → u/_heavy_emo_shoegaze_]

Egads. I've heard stories... And I'm hoping I never find out for myself.

[u/RedIntentions → u/SavagePengwyn]

They used to literally sell bleach washes 😵‍💫

[u/bigbackmoosetracks → u/RedIntentions]

I went to high school with a girl who genuinely believed she should be douching with vinegar, especially after sex, to clean herself out and as a spermicide. Apparently she learned this from the older women in her family. Guess who was pregnant at graduation.

[u/RedIntentions → u/bigbackmoosetracks]

https://giphy.com/gifs/vwI4mYEHP8k0w

[u/Alternative-Bug-7912 → u/SavagePengwyn]

Lysol ads used to encourage women to use it as a feminine hygiene wash

[u/Anxious-Sundae-6399 → u/Alternative-Bug-7912]

Those ads were coded to use Lysol as a contraceptive and abortifacient in the days both were illegal

Get out there & vote, girls !

[u/Dolmenoeffect → u/Anxious-Sundae-6399]

"But was it bad for you?" Someone will ask.

Yes, it absolutely was terrible for your body to be putting bleach inside of it. Probably effective at killing stuff, but so is chemotherapy.

[u/Typingperson1 → u/Alternative-Bug-7912]

😳

[u/blasianflow → u/Typingperson1]

😳 Same

[u/AdCapable7558 → u/Alternative-Bug-7912]

Seriously?!?

[u/Bug0791 → u/SavagePengwyn]

Lysol was marketed as a douche

[u/Immediate_Bell_5389 → u/SavagePengwyn]

That is wild about Listerine

[u/FemShepForRealz → u/No_Investment3205]

I also believe he's negging you.

[u/ComplexJello → u/FemShepForRealz]

yeah this reminds me of the BORU when the bf’s dad taught him to tell the OP that she stinks so she’ll be “less likely to leave him” 🥴 that poster was also taking everything showers frequently and paranoid about her smell because of it

[u/FemShepForRealz → u/ComplexJello]

This is exactly what I was thinking. He's more than likely doing it so OP doubts themselves. Especially knowing she is self conscious already.

[u/Old-Treacle-1431 → u/FemShepForRealz]

I don’t like the word negging. He’s being insulting and vitriolic

[u/AcceptableLoquat → u/Old-Treacle-1431]

I think negging as a word has some value in situations like these. It draws attention to a specific manipulation tactic. Beyond being rude/an asshole, he's participating in pick-up artist, redpill, manosphere behavior. It may point to larger tendencies in his character or behavior trying to control OP, rather than just being something one could dismiss or elide as poor communication or general abrasiveness. He is for sure being insulting and vitriolic, and I think it only adds to an understanding of his behavior to identify it as being a specific manipulation tactic.

[u/ImReallyNotKarl → u/No_Investment3205]

Negging and coercion. Gross.

Also, OP, feminine hygiene washes can super fuck you up. Dump that. Dump anyone who pushes you to do things sexually after you've said no. Dump anyone who talks to you like this.

It's one thing to worry about the health of your partner if something is wrong, or to care about their hygiene insofar as wanting them to be healthy and clean, but this? No. This is sexual coercion and bullying. It's so gross, dude.

ETA: Thanks for the awards, guys, but I'm just building on the comment above mine!

[u/No-Finish-6557 → u/No_Investment3205]

This actually depends on what she means by feminine hygiene wash. If she means a low ph soap for the vulva this is actually good for you because it can clean the skin outside and not harm your vaginal ph if you accidentally get it around there when you rinse. But if she’s putting something inside then yes that’s bad

[u/possiblyourgf → u/No_Investment3205]

Side note, the outside of your bits definitely need soap and that’s where an unscented PH balanced wash is a good idea. It just should never be used inside the vagina, which is self cleaning

[u/Weak-Difference-6078 → u/No_Investment3205]

I’d say you can wash the vulva/ labia with a very gentle, unscented soap but do not go anywhere near the hole

[u/HeathenHumanist → u/Weak-Difference-6078]

But still be sure to get between the labia and under the clitoral hood!! Some women hear "the vagina is self-cleaning" and think you're not supposed to clean anything down there, but the vulva is not the vagina.

[u/AmoebaGreat9351 → u/HeathenHumanist]

is it safe to clean under the hood or not?:( i’m so confused

[u/HeathenHumanist → u/AmoebaGreat9351]

Yes, immediately under the hood is usually fine. Unless your anatomy is wildly different from the norm, there are no holes in the tiny space under the clitoral hood. Just a nice spot for gross stuff to build up. It's a tiny space, but smegma-like build-up typically accrues there.

[u/Certain_Appeal3264 → u/No_Investment3205]

This!!! Exact words my OBGYN told me (first sentence). Washes can mess with your ph and give you yeast infections, BV, etc.

[u/whisky_biscuit → u/Certain_Appeal3264]

It absolutely does. I bought some and I started getting the worst infections that I never had before.

The boyfriend is an AH negging her when he doesn't even brush his teeth or wash himself properly. I start telling him he smells and stop doing anything with him until he can keep his shitty comments to himself.

Frankly I consider it breakup worthy because he's doing it to make her feel like crap about herself.

[u/CostWest8752 → u/No_Investment3205]

I know people say don’t wash your vulva with soap and to just use water but it’s wrong. Everyone even women develop smegma and water doesn’t wash it off. This has been a debate for a long time so I finally asked my gynecologist. She said everywhere that has hair needs to be washed with soap. The outer lips of your vulva has hair so there needs to be a gentle wash with a non-scented gentle soap. I wish people would stop telling women to only rinse off down there with water.

Edit: I have figured out that hair hold onto urine smells. What really helps me is using Nair to remove all the hair on my outer labia at least.

[u/KiloJools → u/CostWest8752]

This is one of the many, MANY times I am peeved that people use "vagina" or "pussy" or whatever to mean "the entire area" and aren't exact in their language. The inside of the vagina doesn't need to be washed. The labia majora and mons pubis should be washed with gentle soap (I just use sensitive-skin facial wash and it's perfect), and it depends on the person what of the labia minora should be washed - since we all have very different anatomy it's not one size fits all. Too much washing can irritate some and too little can do the same for others. Sometimes the clitoral hood area or certain folds of the labia minora can get build up that may need gentle soap to dislodge. This shit should not be so scary to talk about with exact language.

I'm not frustrated at you, of course; I know I sound a bit crabby. I'm just frustrated in general that we end up not even knowing how to clean our own bodies because we don't even get taught the correct details about our own anatomy.

[u/Brokestemkid → u/KiloJools]

I appreciate this comment because people can definitely be soooo vague when talking about this. Especially on places like tiktok or whatever where they'll just be like "Use this on your 🐱 for X results!!!" And its like...which part tho 😭 i have a better understanding now and I dont rely on feminine hygiene tips BUT when I was trying to learn it was definitely super confusing. Like I wish more sources used the ACTUAL anatomical terms instead of all the euphemisms "Wash your kitty with this!" "Put this on your cat!" "This will have you smelling great down there!" Shit felt like everyone was speaking in some sort of code that everyone understood but me 😭

[u/SherbetLemon0815 → u/Brokestemkid]

I think a lot of it is rooted in purity culture. We tell women their genitals are gross and need special washes to be acceptable but then we don't use the correct anatomical terms or explain what goes where. So many women, including myself, still don't fully understand our bodies and feel a lot of shame in asking. I am always thankful for posts and subs like these that help answer those questions.

[u/BatFlappington → u/CostWest8752]

Thank you, I get so confused when I see this advice. I’m definitely using soap down there, thank you very much. 😂

[u/WBrook6 → u/CostWest8752]

I have seen so many posts incorrectly advising women to splash themselves with plain water. It seems to me there is a whole generation of women terrified of cleaning their vaginal area with soap and water. I am nearly 60 years old and have used fragranced soap my entire life and have never had any negative impact. I currently use Dove body wash. Cleaning with hot soapy water is essential.

[u/CostWest8752 → u/WBrook6]

Yes! I’m a millennial but I grew up with my grandmother, and we used Dial soap, the gold bar. We soaped up a washcloth and washed our entire body head to toe even in the sensitive areas. I don’t know what generation changed it.

[u/TenaciousToffee → u/CostWest8752]

Yeah I hate the blanket- washes are bad and marketed for just female insecurity when they can absolutely be helpful.

There are some decent washes out there safe to use and clean the sweat from leg folds, buildup in vulva hair, labia. Not for inner folds or inside the vagina.

I have had better pelvic health since incorporating a good ph balanced probiotic wash thats not scented. I used to get infections far more often in my younger years when I was scared by purist that soap is the devil.

Everyones chemistry can be different but thats not anything new. One shampoo sucked for me doesn't mean I shouldn't use shampoo now. Same thing. I tried a few to find one that works magical for me. I also make my partner wash with it too and its made my vaginal flora super happy.

[u/infinitecatparty → u/CostWest8752]

Who the fuck says not to use soap on your pussy????!! I think Americans in general are over-washed and oddly obsessed with cleanliness (puritans lmao) but you do have to use soap on your genitals…the fuck

edit: apparently the person two comments above me 😑 yes, you do need to wash your genitals, it’s okay to not know better at first but spreading misinformation on the internet is not great. yes “feminine” washes are bullshit but you need soap typically to wash away urine, vaginal secretions, body oils, arousal fluid, cum, body lotion or oil, dirt, dust, fabric fibers, anything that might be around that area.

[u/CostWest8752 → u/infinitecatparty]

Exactly, it makes me sort of tremble to know lots of women only rinse their genitals with water 😖 and then spreading the misinformation so even more women only use water is crazy

[u/SassySashaLuv → u/CostWest8752]

I've washed mine for as long as I can remember. It's that with my ass & the rest of my body. What we don't need to do is clean inside 😬

[u/Happy_Arachnid_6648 → u/CostWest8752]

I came across a post on IG where some comments were saying you shouldn't use soap on your butthole. Any time i come across a soap vs no soap post (which is entirely way too frequently) I get the ICK. Never thought I'd see the day people are debating about using soap to wash their ass.

[u/0rsch0 → u/CostWest8752]

Thank you!!! I’m 51 and the idea that I’d smell better today if I’d only used water is so ridiculous.

[u/Pure_Willingness_961 → u/No_Investment3205]

you should definitely wash the outside of your vagina with soap. use something like gentle skin dove soap. no scent and very gentle but still cleans you

[u/OrchidFine1335 → u/No_Investment3205]

What are those feminine washes even made for? The fact that those exist is concerning and screams money hungry corporates!

[u/mushu_beardie]

This is a trick men will do to make a woman insecure so she'll be less likely to leave. He'll tell her she smells bad. It makes her think no one else will want her because she smells. But it's just the guy lying.

[u/Expert-Welder-2407]

Sounds like a him problem.

ETA: feel free to let him know his hygiene is lacking and his breath smells

[u/Porkie_Chop]

Lesbian here. He’s making shit up

[u/Peony907 → u/Porkie_Chop]

Former bisexual now lesbian, can confirm. Every man I ever was with claimed women didn't taste good. When I finally started dating/sleep with women I realized...they're all just losers. I have eaten all kinds of pussy including straight after the gym and never had a woman "taste bad." OP's dude is full of it.

[u/bacon_nuts → u/Peony907]

https://giphy.com/gifs/rBchbACpDbqAHLtqF7

[u/greenhairdontcare8 → u/Peony907]

Thank yoooou 😭😭 shit like this makes me so paranoid that I taste of piss or something else even though I shower regularly

[u/Tall-Mango4759 → u/greenhairdontcare8]

I once had a girl under my tongue and I did taste/smell pee for a few moments. What did I do? I paid no attention to it because I really liked her and I was extremely in the moment. It so happens that when people get turned on they ignore quite a few things that might make them stop if they weren’t turned on.

I didn’t feel any different about her after, and we went out for a few months after that.

It’s not the end of the world and it sounds like OP’s bf doesn’t even like her.

[u/sillysnowbird → u/Tall-Mango4759]

straight up if i had a DOLLAR for every time i kept going on a man (or woman) despite encountering a /taste/ either soap or personal, and they never knew about it, id be able to pay my bills this month. this is insane negging from a man who doesn’t like women, or at least this woman.

[u/queerjesusfan → u/Tall-Mango4759]

And like sorry if it's gross, but you're literally licking the same spot where pee comes from. Sometimes you might taste something initially, especially if she keeps her pubic hair. It's not that big of a deal, especially if it's only once in a while. I've never not enjoyed going down on a girl for this reason

[u/Peony907 → u/greenhairdontcare8]

Truly unless you have a medical issue of some kind going on down there (STI, UTI, BV, etc.) I promise you probably taste just fine girl😘

[u/Lychanthropejumprope → u/Porkie_Chop]

He probably doesn’t know how to eat the kitty

[u/Kazen1Kura → u/Lychanthropejumprope]

i was wondering this like is he not use to it? He’s inexperienced but i’m not he’s my 3rd partner but i’ve never had this issue.

[u/Prinncesss → u/Kazen1Kura]

The fact that he’s inexperienced says it all. I think he has the wrong perception of what the 🐱is supposed to taste like.

[u/alex_islex → u/Kazen1Kura]

That’s your answer. He’s inexperienced in what vagina should smell and taste like. If you’re really concerned, ask your gyn to smell your 🐱. I’m sure it tastes and smells normal aka a lil pungent

[u/Lychanthropejumprope → u/Kazen1Kura]

I was thinking your hygiene is fine but he’s negging you because he’s insecure about his skills. Has he ever made you orgasm from him eating you out?

[u/Tall_Wonder_913 → u/Lychanthropejumprope]

Asking the real question

[u/JadeSpade23 → u/Kazen1Kura]

You should ask him why he's such an expert on what piss tastes like...

[u/fashion4fun → u/Kazen1Kura]

Replying to your Edit: yes ditch the wash!!

Also - taste/smell yourself and see what you think!
Also also - IF you do smell/taste “off” then get tested for BV, and the most common cause is your bf

[u/anon_simmer → u/fashion4fun]

He doesn't use shampoo and conditioner in his hair so i doubt he cleans his junk properly either. Ew. 🤢

[u/eresibae → u/Kazen1Kura]

I still don't see it as a good reason. I'm also a lesbian and even on my first time going down I thought it was gourmet. I was nervous as hell but i still found it delicious 🤷🏼‍♀️ he's trying to make you insecure

[u/CompetitivePraline62 → u/Porkie_Chop]

This reminded me of that story where the guy told her she always stunk as a way to keep her in her place. His dad did it to his wife, so the son did it, too.

[u/ketoandkpop → u/Porkie_Chop]

God bless you lesbians for weighing here 🙏🏼

[u/Cultural-Map-6410 → u/Porkie_Chop]

Literally came to say this. Also I bet he's the one who smells lol

[u/SweetHeat00]

Hey, your bf shouldn’t be insisting on doing something sexual that you are uncomfortable with. And on top of that, he’s putting you down? You don’t deserve to waste your time with someone who doesn’t respect you and cherish you.

[u/Ok_Aardvark6820]

If you smell so bad, then maybe he should date someone else :)

Seriously though, this has to be negging or (at best) a fundamental misunderstanding of what women are supposed to smell like. People with a good hygiene routine smell fine and normal. Morning breath is gonna morning breath. Down there is gonna taste like down there.

Nobody cares if you're in love and you respect each other. If he can't respect normal body smells, dump him for a man who will, because I promise you they're out there.

[u/ModestoApr → u/Ok_Aardvark6820]

https://giphy.com/gifs/26FLgGTPUDH6UGAbm

[u/Due_Product7492]

When you say you have a wash for down there, what are you using? Anything besides a regular gentle soap, like dove, is not needed and anything like feminine scented washes are horrible. The two options are hygiene or health issue. It might feel hygienic to have a special wash for down there, but simpler is better so you don't mess with your ph balance.

[u/addanchorpoint → u/Due_Product7492]

agree with not using those washes but there is a significant 3rd option here: he doesn’t properly appreciate the taste of pussy

[u/Difficult-Secret-666 → u/addanchorpoint]

The 4th option is he's negging her

[u/Due_Product7492 → u/addanchorpoint]

Ehhh I mean, vag should taste like vag, but vag shouldn't really taste like pee... It might not even be actual pee but if there are some feminine washes being used or improper hygiene techniques, the ph may be off and no that probably isn't the most pleasant. So many women and girls just don't know and there is no shame in that!

That said, if he were a bit nicer about his delivery or more tactful, that would be way more ideal than his current approach

[u/bekarooo → u/Due_Product7492]

Or the 3rd option of this guy negging her.

[u/Top-Pomegranate4899 → u/bekarooo]

I think it's this. Breaking the woman down enough by negging her until she believes your truth over her own. Gaslighting.

[u/Due_Product7492 → u/bekarooo]

An unfortunate but entirely possible option as well

[u/DildontOrDildo → u/Due_Product7492]

also if the microbiome is off due to unnecessary washing products, it can be more ammonia or salty which would resemble urine. make sure you're hydrated too

edit: also after the gym old sweat can be a little salty

[u/Kazen1Kura → u/Due_Product7492]

I use her fantasy box sensitive probiotic+. I’ve never really had a problem with it. My gyno said washes are fine as long as it’s sensitive skin, fragrance free, and pH balanced on outer folds where sweat glands are. Maybe I will try a while without wash and see what he says??

[u/Potential_Poem_3746 → u/Kazen1Kura]

Don’t change your wash to a dove soap. That will ruin your ph. Even though I guess it is very obviously not the issue here, I’m surprised many women don’t clean their vulvas? Keep cleaning it, don’t let the soap get in your vagina. And he’s negging. Have a lovely day🧚🏻‍♀️

[u/Deutschbland → u/Potential_Poem_3746]

People have misunderstood the advice not to put soap inside your vagina as not to put soap on your vulva. You should absolutely be washing your vulva. With an appropriate cleanser that isn’t too harsh and doesn’t have fragrance. 

[u/Intrepid_Essay1987]

[u/New_Cell3935]

Sounds like negging to me. Tell him the same back so he sees how it feels

[u/ar3iadov3]

I don’t believe him
He’s insulting you so you cling to him and feel like you need him because no one else would “overlook” your taste but I’m sure you don’t actually taste bad and he’s just lying and manipulating you
Do you think you smell/taste bad? Give it a try and if there’s something wrong go to the doctor but I think he’s being a little bitch and trying to tear down your confidence
Are you doing to let him?
https://giphy.com/gifs/fKVN15anfBDpruGm3U

[u/Weak-Difference-6078 → u/ar3iadov3]

I was going to say, rub a finger down there and smell it, stick one in even and taste it. You’ll see he’s probably lying

[u/ar3iadov3 → u/Weak-Difference-6078]

Right like I doubt that she wouldn’t notice first

[u/SoilJust4164]

1. Your bf is a dick.
   
2. Maybe he’s projecting because he stinks.
   
3. You shouldn’t be with someone who talks to you this way even if it is jokingly at times because the joke will always have some truth to it.

Also, please be sure to not do too much with soaps around your vagina. Even products that are advertised to be made for your vagina and balance pH should still be used with caution because they can sometimes do more harm than good. I’m not a doctor, but I’ve had my own issues in the past when I was in my early 20s, and my OBGYN gave me a great lesson on this.

He also doesn’t have to keep doing it. It’s annoying that you’re telling him to not do it, yet he’s insisting on doing it, and then he’s complaining about it. He sounds ridiculous.

If I were you, I’d be rethinking my relationship.

[u/ketchupROCKS]

Even if i did taste bad my husband would NEVER bring it up in a bullying way ): this is cruel

[u/Girl-Mom2018]

The edit is sending me LMAO baby ditch the MAN not the wash 😭😭😭😭

[u/Kazen1Kura → u/Girl-Mom2018]

everyone was asking so might as well over share lmao. thank you

[u/SubjectLegitimate879]

Sounds like he just shouldn't do it if he's going to just complain about the 'taste' like you're a fruit

[u/arizona-lake]

“He literally had 1 native body wash he used with his hands until I met him and changed his regimen so why is he so judgmental?”

This is literally (probably) exactly why. Maybe he felt judged and like you were calling him dirty and now he’s doing it back to you (because he sucks and is insecure)

[u/Shoddy_Matter_4940]

I would probably be shitty and say I'll go get a second opinion

Sorry OP this is tough

[u/wyze-litten]

I agree that its a him problem. I unfortunately have a very strong natural musk that I personally don't find offensive, but my last partner did. I'm a very clean person, its just the way my body chemistry is with sweat and stuff :')

[u/lelawes → u/wyze-litten]

Same. My ex husband made me go to a specialist because he insisted something was wrong with me because of how I smelled. Went to see the doctor, she took a GIANT whiff, and told me that I smell perfectly normal and he’s the issue. Then she complimented my labia haha, and she told me that some men unfortunately believe women should smell like nothing and can’t accept anything otherwise, but that it wasn’t my fault. Absolute legend.

[u/oneltwotts → u/lelawes]

Love this. When I was in college, I had a partner who kept insisting that my natural cervical fluid was ״too much“ and there was clearly something wrong with me. When I explained this to my gyno at the time she could not have rolled her eyes farther into the back of her head and just looked at me and said, “tell him that vaginas shouldn’t be deserts.” I never accepted another person telling me how my body “should be” again. Bless these women.

[u/MountainMammoth6735 → u/lelawes]

LMAO this is the best thing I’ve read in awhile and rly helps my insecurities of not smelling like nothing

[u/Mental_Tart842]

How does he know what piss tastes like? I don't.

Anyway, tell him his breath smells like a dead raccoon, and stop answering his calls.

[u/FillLess8293]

Him wanting to do it and then complaining makes me think he’s negging you. Especially if he’s doing it around other hygiene habits…

[u/adb612]

My ex convinced me that I had something wrong with my vagina because it would always smell/taste weird. I went to my OBGYN twice within 4 months and had nothing wrong (i did testing the whole shebang) and that’s when she said that maybe it’s him being selfish. I never received comments like that again from anyone I slept with after we broke up. Dump his ass he will destroy your self esteem

[u/Due_Product7492]

Just tell him when his breath stinks too by the way, since he thinks it's okay I am sure he won't mind

[u/Hefty-Succotash570]

Your boyfriend is gay

[u/nuggisimo]

First I'd like to say feminine washes can throw off your PH and irritate the general area, I'd reccomend sticking to warm water and only washing the rear regions with soap.

Second I've seen a story before of this person who had been given some TERRIBLE advice from his father or friend or something about telling his partner they smell bad/have bad hygiene so that they will "be too insecure to leave". I don't know if that could be the case here because you seem to already be super on top of your hygiene and everyday cleanliness.

Third, I'm not sure of each of your ages and history but there is a chance that you are his first partner and he is just unfamiliar with what it is "Supposed" to smell like. It's an organ, it's not going to smell like rose petals and clean linen, it's gonna smell like an organ. That being said There is a difference between it being clean vs. not but from what you are saying it shouldn't smell dirty.

[u/Dazzling_Elk9398]

From the way you describe yourself, you sound super clean. Wondering if he’s gaslighting you?

[u/GrayMareCabal]

Combined with him saying that your breath stinks and "your tongue is too white"

I suspect he's negging you and trying to keep you insecure so you think he's the only one that could ever like you because "he loves you despite his complaints about things that play into your deepest insecurities"

Like, my boyfriend occasionally has tasted awful. The first time it happened, he knew something was up because I definitely reacted. We didn't talk about it in the moment, but we did move onto other happy fun times. And then a couple of days later, he asked what happened - I was never going to volunteer.

Still not sure what caused that particular disagreeable paste, but neither of us have had any complaints about oral encounters that have occurred since.

And I think that's kind of how a healthy relationship should go?

If one partner is complaining about everything, while also continuing to do those things, while continuing to complain, and knowing that you are a bit uncertain about it?

It's not you. It's them.

[u/EfficientProject7408]

He might be trying to bring your confidence down so you don’t leave him.

[u/Capital_Coat_2043]

Girl run! 🚩 he’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself so you feel trapped with him like you can’t find better. This is so problematic, first of all he’s making you do this when you don’t want to then complaining?? He does not value you and he is insecure.

[u/LostUnicorn505]

Girl, I smell manipulative here. If I were you, I'll just skip this relationship and go straight to the next boyfriend to double-check how I smell/taste.

[u/spacejenerator]

“He doesn’t say it in a mean way.”

“I made a joke about him not eating me like that when he was eating icecream and he went ‘I mean…the last two times it tasted like piss. I don’t know if you’re cleaning it. Clean it babe.’”

If this isn’t in a mean way, I wonder what mean language would sound like to you.

[u/Key_Illustrator7827]

he’s 100% lying. he’s insisting then complaining? this to me is negging or weaponised incompetence- if he does this, maybe in the future he won’t HAVE to be intimate as you’ll simply deny it, point blank. i know this cause boy/men actually like the TWANGY taste😂. especially if the relationship is getting older, they start to like the funk- I SWEAR TO YOU. so what he’s doing is really odd and also rude… he’s being OVERLY rude about it imo.

also i don’t believe you can have an everything shower and taste of piss? like bffr. maybe he has noticed you take being clean very seriously and is poking at it to send u crazy.

also do not use feminine hygiene products they set off your PH balance and be careful about how much probiotics you’re taking u don’t want overgrowth of bacteria.

stay safe💕, and i recommend starting to taunt him back! 🤭 notice something he likes or takes seriously and tell him he’s doing it badly or his results are bad- see how funny he finds that!

[u/imsolarpowered]

There are actually studies on best vulvar hygiene practices. This source includes a lot of good information.

From the conclusion:

(i) avoid washing with conventional soaps, antiseptic products, or water alone,

(ii) use a liquid syndet (preferably one with moisturizing and soothing components),

(iii) wash the vulvar area from front to back,

(iv) wash once a day, preferably just after bowel voiding, and

(v) avoid vaginal douches.

I would add the need to retract the clitoral hood and clean underneath, which many women aren't taught.

If you are doing all of this and have no health issues it's more likely an issue of having an asshole boyfriend.

[u/pofqa]

If you told him no to oral and he “insisted” and continued to do it anyway, that’s assault, love. He’s also negging you about your body. Thats emotional abuse. You have larger issues going on here than just complaints about body odor. You deserve warmth and safety within a relationship and you’re not getting that.

[u/MarMarBinxxx]

I’m sorry but it’s so funny to me that someone can willingly put their mouth on the part of the body that piss comes out of and act shocked and appalled when it tastes or smells faintly of piss lmao.

Girl you’re probably good he might just be a wuss or his spit be stankin and he doesn’t realize it. Don’t let him go down on you anymore.