Bf says I taste bad…

[u/Kazen1Kura]

So for context me and my bf have been dating for a year. Normally I am super self conscious about receiving anything oral and always deny it. But my bf will insist and do it anyway. A few times he’s brought up about how I taste bad like piss.

Now I am someone who loves hygiene and body care, it’s like therapy for me. When he says this I try to take it into consideration and be extra clean but I just can’t see where he’s coming from. I have a wash for down there, i mostly eat clean whole foods, and i take pre/probiotics.

This time it hurt my feelings because before we did it I took an everything shower and felt so clean and pretty now all of a sudden he’s saying I tasted like pee. He doesn’t say it in a mean way. I made a joke about him not eating me like that when he was eating icecream and he went “I mean…the last two times it tasted like piss. I don’t know if you’re cleaning it. Clean it babe.” But i do? I’m not sure what to do i’m petrified of getting head now, I never want do it again. He’s apologizing profusely and saying he’ll never say it again but jeez now i’m scared.

He’s also done this by saying my breath stinks and my tongue is too white. I’ve never gotten butt hurt over this but I just don’t understand because I brush my teeth, floss, and have a tongue scrapper. Yes, my breath smells after eating fragrant foods or waking up in the morning or when i’m dehydrated. But his breath smells terrible too i’ve just never went up to him and said it.

I guess I just want advice is this normal? Should I be more receptive? I already have an intensive body care plan, what else can I do? He doesn’t even do half of what I do. He literally had 1 native body wash he used with his hands until I met him and changed his regimen so why is he so judgmental?

Dinner: Poke burrito with ramune soda!

**EDIT: So I use her fantasy box sensitive probiotic+ I use a wash because I work out a lot and I feel like it leaves so much sweat to use water. Should I try ditching the wash for a while and see?

[u/No_Investment3205]

First off feminine hygiene washes are not good for you. Stick to plain water. He could be tasting some kind of chemical from the wash instead of your natural taste. Second—maybe he’s negging you because honestly what kind of dork complains about breath to this extent.

[u/CostWest8752 → u/No_Investment3205]

I know people say don’t wash your vulva with soap and to just use water but it’s wrong. Everyone even women develop smegma and water doesn’t wash it off. This has been a debate for a long time so I finally asked my gynecologist. She said everywhere that has hair needs to be washed with soap. The outer lips of your vulva has hair so there needs to be a gentle wash with a non-scented gentle soap. I wish people would stop telling women to only rinse off down there with water.

Edit: I have figured out that hair hold onto urine smells. What really helps me is using Nair to remove all the hair on my outer labia at least.

[u/KiloJools → u/CostWest8752]

This is one of the many, MANY times I am peeved that people use "vagina" or "pussy" or whatever to mean "the entire area" and aren't exact in their language. The inside of the vagina doesn't need to be washed. The labia majora and mons pubis should be washed with gentle soap (I just use sensitive-skin facial wash and it's perfect), and it depends on the person what of the labia minora should be washed - since we all have very different anatomy it's not one size fits all. Too much washing can irritate some and too little can do the same for others. Sometimes the clitoral hood area or certain folds of the labia minora can get build up that may need gentle soap to dislodge. This shit should not be so scary to talk about with exact language.

I'm not frustrated at you, of course; I know I sound a bit crabby. I'm just frustrated in general that we end up not even knowing how to clean our own bodies because we don't even get taught the correct details about our own anatomy.

[u/Brokestemkid → u/KiloJools]

I appreciate this comment because people can definitely be soooo vague when talking about this. Especially on places like tiktok or whatever where they'll just be like "Use this on your 🐱 for X results!!!" And its like...which part tho 😭 i have a better understanding now and I dont rely on feminine hygiene tips BUT when I was trying to learn it was definitely super confusing. Like I wish more sources used the ACTUAL anatomical terms instead of all the euphemisms "Wash your kitty with this!" "Put this on your cat!" "This will have you smelling great down there!" Shit felt like everyone was speaking in some sort of code that everyone understood but me 😭

[u/SherbetLemon0815 → u/Brokestemkid]

I think a lot of it is rooted in purity culture. We tell women their genitals are gross and need special washes to be acceptable but then we don't use the correct anatomical terms or explain what goes where. So many women, including myself, still don't fully understand our bodies and feel a lot of shame in asking. I am always thankful for posts and subs like these that help answer those questions.

[u/KiloJools → u/Brokestemkid]

Seriously! And I think in those cases where they're trying to sell you something, the vague euphemism-laden language is by design, to insinuate shame and confusion. If you don't know what is what about what, but you know that you don't want to smell bad "down there" in that great big question mark area that's too shameful to name, you'll buy stuff just to be sure!