Hey all. I am 23 and just had surgery for tethered cord syndrome. It causes spasticity in my legs and severe nerve pain in my back and legs. I used a wheelchair nearly full time in my house before surgery and now use a walker and cane mostly and wheelchair for leaving the house or flares. I also have heds and many other conditions but tethered cord and scoliosis impact me the most.

The rise in ableism online has been weighing on me a lot. The passing of Rj Mitte. :( The Texas versus Kennedy ruling. The rise in ableism online in every disabled persons comment section. Articles being written about people with mobility aids that are decorated are all faking. They are so worried about accusing people of faking that they are hurting REAL disabled people. I’m not really self conscious about my mobility aids because I’ve needed them consistently and gotten used to the looks since my tethered cord got worse. But it still makes me sad seeing people bash anybody with a mobility aid. Deciding who they deem a faker.

While there is a lot of misinformation spread about heds online it makes me upset seeing comments from doctors saying anybody with eds is faking. I’ve mainly seen this rise in ableism online on tiktok and some insta communities. Also on Reddit on other threads. Some people may self diagnose conditions and not have it. But a lot of us do
Have these conditions. I was diagnosed with heds at a young age and had symtomps at a young age. Many people discover conditions later in life also. Or are impacted more later in life. hating on a whole group of people or conditions you don’t know anything about isn’t helping anyone. Especially disabled people. And conditions vary in severity how hard of a concept is that! Some people with the same condition may never use a mobility aid, some use a cane, some use crutches, some use wheelchairs full time, some have spinal cord injuries, some have chiari which can require brain surgery, the variety is sooooo wide with eds, and the same honestly goes for so many conditions. Think of the variety with in conditions like cerebral palsy or spinal cord injuries. There is a huge variety of how individuals are impacted.

I’ve read a lot about disability history and understand how deep ableism runs. I’ve read a lot of books written by disabled people and activist. It just sucks living in a world that actively chooses to misunderstand our experiences. Just sharing to vent a bit to people who might relate. Thanks for reading 🫶 sending love to anyone also feeling the weight of the world for disabled people.

TW: deep depression and suicidal ideation
Not really in need of advice I don’t think, just support. I’m really struggling

is anyone else just exhausted? not just tired or fatigued, I mean bone-deep exhaustion and boredom that makes staring down the barrel of the next 50 years of your life seem unbearable? I’m only 30 something and already struggling so much. Im dreading my upcoming birthday because it’s another marker that time has moved on while I’ve been stuck in the same place with no real milestone markers like my peers. It’s such a helpless feeling. I feel like I aged 40 years in only 8 years since receiving my diagnosis and my peers and I are in totally different places now. They’ve moved on without me while I’m still patiently waiting for my turn to get to experience happiness. 🥲 and it isn’t for lack of trying. The last 10-15 years I’ve watched a revolving door of friends finding partners and getting their happily ever after when I struggle to get past a first date still. I’ve seen friends travel the world. I’ve seen amazing career promotions and opportunities. I’ve seen them start families….and I’m not getting any younger. 😭 those are things I wanted for myself too. And I’ve had to already shrink my dreams to be more realistic, it feels like I’ve dwindled them to the bare basics of what I hope for and apparently even that’s asking too much.

I feel SO TIRED of living this way. I don’t have a life. I don’t have a partner. I don’t have fun trying to date with this disability. I don’t have a social life anymore. Ive become completely isolated from the few friends ive maintained through the years. I don’t have any meaningful connection and it isn’t for lack of trying! Im so lonely and i ache for this deep connection with other people I cant seem to find. I also struggled significantly as a kid in a social sense as I’m neurodivergent and so ive always felt on the outskirts with friend groups. I’ve only ever had a handful of pockets of belonging over the years. I’m always trying to find my people and have it LAST, and it never does. The disability honestly made my life even more isolated so meeting people has become even harder. I also have to mask my symptoms so much more now, I feel like I can’t ever just be myself around people and I’m always waiting for people to cut me off when they realize what I a burden I am.

I just feel like every time i make even a little progress in life, my illness and disability knock me back a few steps again. So I end up just stuck and free floating through life, just enduring and surviving. I have all these goals and dreams and aspirations and yet, a body that cannot keep up. I’ve felt stuck in the same place for the last 5 years since leaving work and going on disability, and I’ve been in a deep depression for the last 3 since having to move home with my parents. I just often don’t see the point of going on, Im not living a life, I’m serving a life sentence. nothing is bringing me joy, the world is wicked and evil, most people have zero clue the struggle it takes to just exist every day for someone like me, and I’m just at my wits end. I really have considered euthanizing myself. I’ve begged and cried to doctors for years to try and help me manage both my physical symptoms and mental illness ones with no luck. I’m just expected to SUFFER! But since I don’t plan to act on harming myself, the ER and doing a week inpatient tends to not really be an option. I’m trying so hard to feel better but I just feel trapped and miserable in this life. It has turned out so much smaller and quieter and different than I thought it was going to be. Especially given, I had such a hard time as a kid, and adults always try to make you feel better by saying you’ll have your time to be on top one day. I don’t feel that’s been true for me and it’s devastating because it’s how I coped for years with hardship, just knowing if I survived and endured, something better was promised down the road. I don’t feel that way anymore which feels very hopeless. Instead, it feels like I’m being punished for some past life mistake. 😞 im so depressed. I’m just trying so hard to keep going for SO LITTLE reward and I’m losing more and more of my spark every day.

I do therapy, I see a psychiatrist, I see a pcp. Like I’m trying so hard to get better but it’s just getting worse and I feel like no one is taking my suicidal thoughts seriously and they’ve escalated. I’m starting to latch onto certain dates and am thinking about what if I ended things before my birthday next month (which I’m dreading.) 🥲

The concept of "accessibility" Is very relative

I’m a year and half into the SSDI process and ironically one of the reasons I am applying is that I am severely mentally ill and am hospitalized very often. My caseworker and I got the news yesterday that our appeal was denied. She is requesting more information because we have no idea what else SSA could possibly want from me. There’s 5000+ pages of proof repeatedly of severe psychiatric and physical illness.

How do you not just give up? Especially for those who lost everything, what kept you going? When I got the news I started googling the nearest bridge and the only reason I didn’t was my cat. I am about to lose everything officially tho potentially including my cat who has been my lifeline.

I’ve been couch surfing and staying with friends but my luck has run out as all my friends have or are moving away from the area where the hospital I go to is and my access rides are serviced for. My caseworker told me straight up there’s nothing for a young person who’s applying for SSDI without family support I just totally fall between the cracks. I’m not trying to be dramatic when I say I don’t know how to go on like this. I am so tired.

People who refuse my needs, call me all sorts of things for being how I am,

My heart beats so fast. I think I might have a heart attack sometime

This is just sad and infuriating. This autistic teenager thought these 3 teenagers who lured him were people he could make friends with, but these evil teenagers threw him to the ground, beat him, kicked him on the face, and stole his shoes. He had to go home on his shoes and the worst part is that no one around there defended him.

I hope the teenagers who beat him face criminal charges because this was a violent assault and they robbed his shoes. These 3 teenagers must be in juvie.

As someone who has an autistic younger brother and as a school teacher who has some students with autism, it disgusts me there are people who bully autistic kids or people with any other disabilities.

I'm Erika Heath, and I got married—something that should be a celebration. But our joy was overshadowed by a harsh reality: we're being financially penalized just for choosing to marry.

Under current law, disabled adults on SSI face a brutal marriage penalty. We're limited to $3,000 in combined savings, and any inheritance—like money from my dad's 40+ years of Social Security contributions—could be taken away entirely. It's essentially the government saying: "You can have love or financial stability, but not both."

I started a petition to pass H.R. 1389, which would eliminate this marriage penalty for disabled adults. This isn't about asking for special treatment—it's about basic fairness. People with disabilities already face enough barriers. We shouldn't have to sacrifice our relationships or our futures just to keep the benefits we rely on.

If you've felt stuck by unfair rules, or if you think love shouldn't be punished, consider signing and sharing this. What would you do if you had to make this choice?

Hi all, my care team and I are starting to look into getting an electric wheelchair for me to use for outings, the biggest issue i need to be aware of is the weight of the chair. I see a lot of good things about OAS and Paiseec chairs, but because of my insurance being brand new and full of hoops I need to jump through, im most likely paying out of pocket. I know its probably unrealistic but I'd like to keep the chairs under $800 maximum but I can always figure something else out. Any insight is appreciated

First of all, be warned this is a long one! I have poor motor coordination and can’t feel where my body is in space because of a condition called dyspraxia. It’s invisible and it also affects the way I process information from my other senses.

About a month ago, I went into town to meet up with some friends and then after that, to meet with another friend somewhere else. It was fairly busy in the street and busy streets feel like being pelted by fast moving human traffic from all directions.On more narrow streets I’m not sure where to move. When someone comes toward me I just stand to one side and let them pass. If there are a lot of people, I stay out of their way until I see a big gap and feel safe to start walking down the street again.

I said goodbye to the last friend and went to buy a few things in the supermarket. I get particularly nervous in supermarkets because I worry about bumping into people or not realising I’m standing in their way. I usually get a supermarket delivery but it’s not always possible to buy everything that way.  

Anyway, it wasn’t all that busy in there. Music was playing and the lights were bright and flickering. Those things don’t normally bother me to be honest, but I was tired and felt slightly nauseous. The colour, sounds and flickering grew more intense and I began to feel even more sick.

I kept shopping and playing my usual game; dodging out of aisles whenever someone else entered them and not walking past people with trolleys. It’s basically a case of constant social distancing because standing far away from people is the only way to be fairly sure I’m not too close to them. Everything was starting to get brighter and louder and echoing more. It was as though nothing was quite real and I was fighting my way out of a dream. I felt lost in space and everything was spinning.  I started walking and not knowing what was going on.

I just caught sight of a worker carrying a large, heavy stack of crates and tried to move out of the way but I’d already got really close.  I suddenly noticed my basket would be in her path but couldn’t move it out of the way quickly enough. I couldn’t feel whether I’d bumped into her.

A few seconds later I heard her say something behind me loudly in an angry tone. Or at least I think it was her, it was hard to tell at that point.

I was panicked and still in the same bizarre, dreamlike haze.  I’ve now been taking short breaks when I go out to stop me getting to that point. I had to get out of the shop. I feel like I should have apologised but at the time I couldn’t think or speak and afterwards felt too ashamed and scared to walk back and speak to her. She could have been hurt and if she wasn’t, it was a close shave. Another time she could have been knocked off of her feet.

I’ve traveled freely my whole life but now I’m actually rethinking whether I should be in busy public places like supermarkets at all but there are quieter hours with no music and lower lights, designed to be more accessible for people who find those things hard. Disabled people fought for the right to be in the same places and use the same services as everyone else. I don’t want to encourage the erosion of those rights. I want future generations to feel welcome in public places too.

I just don’t want to hurt someone or put them in danger. I also don’t want to make someone feel disrespected when they’ve already been treated like dirt by customers all day. I really don’t know what to do.

I am so done with everything. My lawyer called me seeming a bit discouraged, and told me the judge I have now appointed (no date yet, but been waiting already 6 months) has a 30% acceptance rate. I found out the average was higher by a lot, and there were even judges with 80% acceptance rates. I got so unlucky.

I've been in this battle for 4+ years. Its so hard to fight my case because I have invisible disabilities like fibro, osteoarthritis, severe depression, migraines, and more. I have more than 500 pages worth of medical evidence. And yet, I've been denied twice already.

SSA literally hired a psychologist who said he couldn't see me EVER improving, even saying he doesn't think I could manage my own meds. But of course, they don't care. Then why even make me see a psychologist if you don't care what he has to say???

My therapist, psychiatrist, and rheumatologist have all labeled me severe, too. But do they care? No, of course not.

My lawyer even told me she has had clients get this judge before, and she has denied people with multiple missing limbs and other visible disabilities. I am so screwed. Being 21 years old definitely does not help either.

She's tried to reassure me by saying we can try again if we get denied, but oh my god I am just so tired. I've been off of social media because its just making my mental health even worse, because all my disabled friends who post online are met with hate comments. No one wants to go through this hell, and all for a tiny paycheck that is barely enough to live.

I'm usually a positive and optimistic person, but this is genuinely breaking me.

Hello! After 4.5 years of use, my forearm crutches are falling apart. When I first bought them I wasn’t sure how long I would be needing them, so I just bought the best deal on Amazon. While they’ve held up well, they’re no longer being sold. What brand of forearm crutches do you recommend? I would love to hear from other crutch users on what brand they’ve found to be the most cost-effective, durable, and comfortable! Thank you so much :)

Edit to add: Bonus points if they’re foldable!

I am going to be wearing a system of wraps like these on both my legs for the foreseeable future and am looking for ideas to hide, blend or otherwise decorate so that they aren't so hideously out there?

I usually am wearing capri length loose legging or the same length jersey skirts and I am a power wheelchair user. I don't have to wear shoes so I am definitely open to ideas that don't require them.

I do have access to a sewing machine as well and have some basic skills.

Thank you!

In order to not mess up my disability application I can only work 20 hours a week and my income is capped at $1600 gross per month. (Not that I would be able to work more than that anyway with my disability.) I can't work a steady job with steady hours. So gig work it is. There are lots of options out there but has anyone had success with specific gigs? Are any of them worth the time or effort?

I specifically don't want to do uber eats because my experience with those is that you end up making less than $10/hour. My car isn't eligible for ride share either.

Options I'm looking at:

Rover.com

Care.com

Task Rabbit

Upwork

Amazon Flex

Spark Delivery

Flier Distribution Services

Papa.com

Panhandling?!? (Semi serious)

I'm also really worried about being able to handle multiple gig income streams and multiple jobs per day because of the mental load of organizing all of the different schedules and apps. I can barely handle showering and eating on a regular schedule but somehow I have to make all of this work???

I'm just feeling very overwhelmed and discouraged because my partner and I recently separated leaving me with all the bills and I'm still at least 3 months out from ssdi. I feel like such a worthless person not being able to make money and i don't know what I'll do if I'm not able to pay bills.

I posted about an issue with a company I have been using for 8 years. It got taken down by a mod, because they believed I was the company. I am a PASSENGER of paratransit. I do not work for them, nor would I want to. I am disabled, I am struggling with being late all the time now, and I really just wanted to get more eyes on the issue to discuss it with fellow disabled people. It's also just a plain interesting issue to have and I want to know how the hell anyone can fix this for me or if there is anything anyone even COULD do for us. I need reliable transport for work!

Like seriously I understand little kids looking at my legs for a bit cause I do have massive scars and skin graphs that look a bit interesting, but it’s the fully GROWN adults that are the worse. I understands anyone can stare but there’s a point where they don’t even try to hide it.

Like today at school a teacher stopped walking up the stairs and turned around to directly look at my leg (I was down the stairs) it’s so funny they don’t even realise I’m staring back at them. Same thing happens at any public place when I walk past people and so they obviously look down and stare, my shoes must be so interesting? And we aren’t talking glances we talking full on 5-10 second looks. I get people are curious but is it not common curiosity to not stare at peoples defects? I genuinely feel for people who deal with this on worse levels. (Don’t even get me started about being in public in a wheelchair)

Let me preface this by saying that I’m not a therapist or researcher or looking for information for a book or movie. I’m honestly just curious. I am very involved in volunteering in the suicide prevention and suicide loss survivor space. I became disabled a few years ago and with my volunteering I noticed a lack of focus on the disabled community.

The other post about the actor who took his life got me thinking again and I wanted to ask the larger question that’s been on my mind. I am specifically referring to people with physical or cognitive disabilities rather than mental health illnesses. I think that group of disabilities is addressed but please add anything that you think I am overlooking. I scoured the internet (okay, I did a few searches) and didn’t see a lot except research saying that there wasn’t a lot of research or data. Do you know of resources I am not seeing? Do you think that suicide and suicidal ideation is a significant problem in the disabled community? Do you think there is a lack of resources/attention to this issue? Or am I just making assumptions that this may be a bigger problem than is currently being discussed? I know I definitely had ideations earlier in my recovery but luckily I got a great therapist and had support around me though some days were pretty rough.

🤍

How many young people are being failed by multiple public services before anybody stops to ask what’s actually going wrong?
I’m absolutely bloody furious about something I’ve been dealing with recently, and I suspect this is a much bigger problem than one young person and one family.
I’m a former Citizens Advice Bureau adviser. I previously worked as a Senior in the D4 Supported Employment Team within Luton Borough Council Social Services, helping disabled people access employment and retain their jobs.
I’ve also recently been diagnosed with ADHD myself.
I know how important it is to understand people’s circumstances, identify their needs and make sure they have access to appropriate support.
I have a very strong sense of justice, and when I see a young person potentially being disadvantaged across multiple public services, I start asking questions.
The more I ask in this case, the more concerned I become.
FIRST: WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS EDUCATION?
What happens when a child has underlying neurodevelopmental difficulties that nobody identifies?
They can struggle throughout school without understanding why.
They may have difficulties with attention, impulsivity, organisation, coordination or learning. Their needs may be misunderstood, and they may miss out on assessment, appropriate support and adjustments that could have helped them.
Their educational opportunities can suffer.
Their confidence can suffer.
And they can reach adulthood without ever having had the opportunity to understand their own difficulties properly.
I’m concerned about a young person close to me whose difficulties were not identified during his education, as far as we know.
We cannot simply go back and give him those years again.
What I want to know is whether his needs were properly considered and whether earlier identification might have opened the door to support that he didn’t receive.
How many other young people are leaving education in similar circumstances?
THEN THERE’S THE NHS.
This young man has experienced repeated injuries, including breaking his leg on two separate occasions. He has attended hospital numerous times.
Hospital reports have reportedly been sent to his GP.
And now I’m asking whether anyone has looked at the bigger picture.
Has anyone considered whether there might be an underlying neurodevelopmental condition?
Could difficulties with attention, impulsivity, coordination or judgement be contributing to some of his problems?
Have the repeated incidents been considered together?
Has anyone investigated whether he needs an ADHD assessment or assessment for another neurodevelopmental condition?
He does not have a formal ADHD diagnosis. I’m not pretending to diagnose him, and I cannot establish that an earlier assessment or medication would have prevented his injuries.
But surely a pattern of difficulties can justify asking questions.
Surely the point of having medical records, hospital reports and a GP who knows a patient’s history is to help professionals consider the wider picture when appropriate?
I’m now putting my concerns in writing and requesting a review of his medical history and appropriate assessment and referrals.
Why has it taken a family member to start pushing for answers?
And how many other people have histories that deserve a closer look?
THE HUMAN COST ISN’T AN ADMINISTRATIVE DETAIL.
This is what makes me so angry.
We’re not talking about a missing form or a computer system that needs updating.
We’re talking about a young man who has suffered significant injuries and whose future health and mobility are a concern.
I’m grateful he’s alive. Serious accidents can have devastating consequences, and I worry about the possible long-term effects of the injuries he’s experienced.
I cannot say that earlier recognition of ADHD would have prevented those accidents. Nobody can honestly establish that without evidence.
But I can ask whether his difficulties were properly investigated, whether appropriate support was considered, and whether there were opportunities to identify needs that went unrecognised.
When people miss out on support during childhood, the consequences can follow them into adulthood.
Educational disadvantage can affect future opportunities. Unrecognised difficulties can make everyday life harder. Physical injuries can have their own lasting consequences.
And these problems don’t necessarily arrive one at a time.
They can accumulate.
That is cumulative disadvantage: the way difficulties and missed opportunities across different areas of life can compound one another.
AND THEN COMES THE DWP.
As if the concerns about education and healthcare weren’t enough, there are now questions about the advice this young man received when he attended the Jobcentre.
I’m concerned that he hasn’t been given a clear explanation of his options and how different decisions might affect his financial position.
He needs accurate information about the support available to him so that he can make informed decisions.
As a former CAB adviser, I know how important that is.
Benefits can be complicated. Different entitlements have different rules and consequences. People need clear explanations, not advice that leaves them potentially worse off without understanding why.
I’m concerned that he may have been put at a disadvantage and that the options available to him have not been properly explained.
Those concerns need investigating.
If advice was incorrect or incomplete, I want to know why. If he has missed out on an entitlement or an opportunity to obtain appropriate support, I want that examined too.
And if disability-related needs were overlooked or he was treated unlawfully because of disability, that must be taken seriously.
I am not claiming that unlawful discrimination has already been established. I am saying that the circumstances warrant questions and answers.
A young person should not have to navigate a complicated benefits system without understanding his options, particularly when he may already be facing other disadvantages.
THIS IS WHERE DISABILITY DISCRIMINATION HAS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
We talk about equality, inclusion and supporting disabled people.
But equality isn’t simply treating everybody identically.
People may need reasonable adjustments, additional support or a different approach to have a fair opportunity to participate in education, healthcare, employment and society.
The Equality Act 2010 provides protections and duties in relevant circumstances. Whether a particular organisation has breached those duties depends on the facts, including the person’s circumstances, what the organisation knew or ought reasonably to have known, and what it did in response.
An undiagnosed condition does not automatically establish discrimination. Nor does every missed diagnosis amount to negligence.
But that doesn’t mean we should ignore the possibility of discrimination when somebody may have experienced substantial disadvantage and their needs may not have been properly considered.
We need to ask:
Were his needs recognised when they should reasonably have been?
Was appropriate support considered?
Were relevant medical reports reviewed?
Were reasonable adjustments or appropriate referrals considered where necessary?
Was he given accurate information about his benefit options?
Were opportunities to reduce his disadvantage missed?
What action will now be taken to address his needs?
These are not unreasonable questions.
They’re questions about accountability.
WHY AM I MAKING SUCH A FUSS?
Because I’ve spent years working with people who need support.
Because I’ve worked in advice and supported employment.
Because I understand the importance of identifying barriers rather than simply expecting people to overcome them alone.
And because I have ADHD myself.
I’m not a doctor, a solicitor or a benefits decision-maker. I don’t claim to have all the answers.
But I know that when somebody is struggling, the right response is not to shrug your shoulders and move on.
You investigate.
You look at the evidence.
You ask what support is needed.
And you make sure the person understands their options.
I’m particularly angry because this is a young person who may have spent years without the recognition and support he needed, and who is now facing the consequences of significant injuries and trying to navigate adult systems.
He deserves better than being passed from one service to another while his family tries to work out what everyone else has overlooked.
HOW MANY OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE ARE IN THE SAME POSITION?
How many children struggle through school without their neurodevelopmental needs being identified?
How many young people experience repeated difficulties without anyone investigating whether there might be an underlying explanation?
How many reach adulthood without appropriate assessment or support?
How many then encounter a benefits system they don’t fully understand, without being given clear information about their options?
And how many families have to become investigators, advocates and complaints officers just to get somebody to take their concerns seriously?
I want to know how we prevent this.
Not just how we respond after somebody has suffered.
Not just how we apologise after opportunities have been missed.
How do we build systems that recognise people’s needs earlier, communicate properly with one another where appropriate, and make sure vulnerable young people aren’t left to navigate everything alone?
Because a person’s life doesn’t fit neatly into separate departmental boxes.
Education affects future opportunities. Health affects daily functioning. Disability-related needs can affect employment and access to support. Financial insecurity can make an already difficult situation worse.
These things are connected, even when the organisations responsible for them operate separately.
If each service looks at only one small part of a person’s life, who makes sure the bigger picture isn’t lost?
And when something goes wrong across several services, who takes responsibility for finding out why?
I’m keeping a written record, asking questions and seeking answers about this young man’s circumstances.
But I cannot help wondering how many other people are quietly going through something similar.
If you’ve experienced this yourself, as a neurodivergent adult, a parent, a carer, an educator or a professional, I’d genuinely like to hear your experiences.
Were your needs recognised at school?
Did healthcare professionals investigate your difficulties?
Were you given the support you needed?
Have you struggled to navigate benefits or other public services?
And what would have made the biggest difference?
I’m interested in people’s experiences because this conversation needs to be bigger than one family.
Young people deserve the chance to reach their potential, understand their own needs and access appropriate support. They shouldn’t have to spend their lives dealing with the consequences of disadvantage that might have been reduced if somebody had joined the dots earlier.
How many are being failed before anyone asks the right questions?
And what needs to change?

I am a passenger of paratransit. I am complaining about this problem. I don't know why there are so many of us (as disabled clients) at the service now, but it is an issue and I was seeking discussion if anyone had similar issues.

Mods, please do not remove this repost. It is upsetting, that the original was removed. The post did not break any rules of the subreddit, but was misunderstood as such. I don't work for paratransit...

Today, 8 years ago on October 12th, 2018, I suffered a T4 complete spinal cord injury while doing a cheerleading stunt which left me paralyzed for life. I was just 15 when it happened, it happened just a few weeks before my 16th birthday.

I still remember the moment it happened and the aftermath. I still remember that a day before my accident I was so happy about going to a party with a friend the next week(I didn't go because of my accident).

I was at the top of a 2.5 body tall(which was about 15 feet) cheerleading pyramid and I always enjoyed being the one at the top. Unfortunately that day, one of my fellow cheerleaders lost balance and that ended up on me falling and hitting my back to the ground. I still remember the pain of that impact and afterwards I just couldn't feel my legs. I cried and I thought I was gonna die there.

I was taken to the hospital where I had emergency surgery, and there I cried even more because I was given the news about the spinal cord injury. I had never thought about spinal cord injuries before my accident, and when I learned about mine, I just wanted to be gone because I couldn't imagine my life not being able to walk. My parents were very sad and worried not knowing how to help me.

For the next 2 years, I was utterly depressed. I'd refuse to eat and I even tried doing things to myself because I didn't want to live. It was difficult for my parents to make me rationalize during that time. My parents took me to therapy and Church, even though I didn't want to go. I would just be mad at anyone wherever they took me.

Fortunately after those 2 years of going to therapy and talking my emotions with my therapist, I started to see a very few good things about life. I could still enjoy watching TV or making drawings. I was sad about my dream as a cheerleader being gone, but I found other activities. I eventually stopped seeing my wheelchair as a curse, but as a tool to help me move. It's still difficult to move in a wheelchair, but I've learned to live with it. I also thank God personally who I started having a deep connection with 2 years after my accident. Others may have their own beliefs, but I feel like God has helped me overcome these years after my injury.

I live a good life now. I have plenty of friends, and I love my job as a school teacher now. Life might not be what I expected more than 8 years ago, but I'm doing better now with my mental health despite my accident which is still marked on me.

I have a connective tissue disorder, but I look able bodied. I don't use any visible mobility aids, I don't always walk with a limp, but I can't pull open doors. I can push lighter doors open if I lean my torso into it, but pulling isn't really an option for me. I mean I technically can pull open doors, but it's painful.

I'm running into two problems:

1. I fear I look like an inconsiderate asshole for not holding the door for others. Because I'm so scared of coming off as rude, I will open and hold doors for others, even though it injures me.

2. How do I ask for others to hold the doors for me? Sometimes when walking with a group, we'll go through non accessible doors. Usually this means as each person goes through, they catch the door slightly as they walk through. But doing this is painful. Since I don't look disabled, I feel like I'd come off as a spoiled jerk if I asked someone to hold the door for me.

Is there any way to signal to others that I'm physically disabled, either verbally or with some sort of object? I've thought about a cane, but I'm worried about putting literally any pressure on my shoulders, so I'd have to talk to my PT about that first.

I'm open to anything. Except, not doing anything isn't an option for me because it goes against my personal values (I know I was using strong language like "inconsiderate asshole" and "spoiled jerk", but I'm not actually that upset, and it's more complicated than what I made it out to be)

Hello all I am 23 and had tethered cord surgery a little over a month ago. I was loosing mobility rapidly and by the end mainly used a wheelchair. I have PTSD from medical trauma including a spinal hematoma that really scarred me as a teenager. I’ve had spine issues my whole life but I began declining rapidly. My reflexes were hyperreflexic, I have a neurogenic bladder, and before surgery struggled to walk at all and had severe nerve pain. I had to switch all my college classes online and lost the ability to drive. I have come to terms with a lot of the things that have changed. However surgery recovery has been really hard. I have had many other surgeries but nothing that impacted me so heavily. This recovery feels so long. I got my Foley catheter out a few days ago I had it for over 4 weeks which was a good feeling to get out. I keep overdoing it with trying to do housework and then get so frustrated.

I feel like I make some steps in a good direction then end up falling way behind again. It’s hard when people my age already are in there career path and I’m not simply because of my health. I also feel bad venting about these struggles since it’s not as common for college students to have these experiences (though I know there are many who relate)! I know things will change and recovery isn’t linear but right now I just could use some support. My walking is already improving and my spacisity which is very good. I have moment I feel very happy about that but also moments that everything just feels like so much! I just got a bad cold and being even more stuck in bed again reminds me of surgery and having to lay flat for the first day. It was really hard and scary and I keep trying to remind myself I am not in that moment even if it was close. It’s also hard having to worry about if my spine retethers again.

Sorry this is so long and truly thank you so much to anyone reading!! Also I am in therapy I just like to talk to people who relate sometimes it helps me feel less a lone! 🫶

So I have issues with fatigue, spasms and a body sensitive to position. I have a bed desk that works quite well, but as I consider what a possible return to work future might look like for me, I'm curious what, if anything others have used.

I'm considering asking for a reclining gaming desk in my office. I will stick out anyway from my mobility aids, what's a weird desk in the grand scheme of things?

I'm open to any and all ideas