I cut through the hipster part of town today and passed a handsome guy in his late 20s. I walked past him, minding my own business, thinking my usual self-critical thoughts ("everyone around here is way hotter than me").

On a whim, I turned around to glance back... and caught him fully checking out my arse.

When I turned around, he realized I caught him, looked straight into my eyes, and flashed the warmest, sweetest smile.

.........................................

As a 46-year-old, 6-foot, 226 lbs muscle-momma with white hair and baby blue eyes, I don't usually expect that kind of open appreciation in public. But today reminded me that I AM seen, I AM attractive to people out there, and good moments happen when I least expect them. And, if it can happen to me, it can to you.

(Just feeling really happy today and wanted to pass on the good vibes!)

So, my given name is Walter. I'm the oldest of several children. The youngest is a 14 year age gap.

So, at 14 my parents asked me and my siblings for name suggestions. They wanted a name starting with W and we knew it was a girl.

I'm sitting there, blissfully unaware of a gender crisis about to hit me with a puberty shaped baseball bat.

I suggest "Winter Rose" a lovely name. My parents loved it and still to this day give me credit for it.

Now I'm sitting here, pondering a name change for the 100th time. Nothing feels good. Then I look at W names and there it is. Winter. And I'm mad. Not sure who to tell about this but I'm pissed. Not gonna steal my little sister's name. But also, I picked it.

I like my name. I always have. I just don't like how masculine it is. Winter sounds similar and it fits.

I'm trans ftm, and I've started to watch a show on Disney+ called The Good Doctor cause I've watched clips of it, and I heard good things about it. So far, it's been living up to my expectations, but I just got to episode 14 of season 1, which is about a cancer patient who's a trans girl. Instead of wording it that way, it says, "identifies as a girl, but is male." Which is absolute crap cause she's not male at all. I'm really upset cause I like this show, but I don't wanna continue supporting anything that's transphobic. Is there any way I can send a report to Disney+ about this, and they could change it?

!!!Possibly Triggering!!!!

My best friend, let's call him D is a gay man and I finally gathered the courage to finally tell him. He was the one person I was afraid to tell, maybe my subconscious was trying to warn me.

When I told D I was trans it was like he stopped seeing me as his best friend, as a human. He started to talk about my body as if I was a science experiment and said if I didn't do XYZ he wouldn't accept me.

D made it seem like me being trans was okay but only under his strict conditions. We stilled talked for a week after this but nothing was the same, today he blocked me on everything without an explanation.

How can you go from spending everyday together, to cutting someone off completely like that?

I thought he would be more understanding especially since his coming out journey was so difficult.

Why does a gay men feel the need to exclude another LGBT+ member like this I don't understand.

As a trans guy here are some of mine:

- not being able to touch my toes (makes me feel like an old man)

- wearing a towel on the waist

- drinking juice/milk straight out of the carton (gross, i know)

- opening a can

- jeans and a sports bra while getting ready (pre T)

- When cis guys dap me up

- girls saying "i know youre a guy so you dont get it but..." and talk about makeup

- paying for literally anything

- buttoning up a dress shirt

- BELTS

- messy bed

- bed head in the morning

I have soooooo much more but i wanna hear y'alls!

Hello. I'm a trans man, and I tried discussing transitioning and HRT to my mother today— for some context, I had already discussed gender dysphoria when I was around 13, and obviously I wasn't taken seriously, and I hoped with the years she would actually believe me.

Well, she did in a way, and it ended up with her sobbing and telling me how it felt like her daughter had died and just how I could never understand just the pain she felt for having two transgender children.

It did get to me. I really do love my mom, and seeing her feel this way about me is incredibly painful, it feels like I'm no longer her child anymore. I feel like I ruined everything between us, and I really don't know what to do to fix it or to just feel better about it.

I know this is not an original transgender experience, so if anyone has gone through this, I'd really appreciate some advice on how to get through this.

I feel like cis people are divided into a loud minority that actively wants us dead, a majority that are passively transphobic, and then the rest being genuine allies. That majority is starting to piss me off.

A trans person will fight for their rights, and a cis person will cry that their free speech is violated. A trans person will try to talk about their issues, and a cis person will claim cis is a slur. A trans person will complain about cisnormative society, and a cis person will say "not all cis people".

**Trans rights are not about cis people.** Us having rights does not affect them.

This also has a lot of overlap with other types of bigotries.

Every so often a subreddit I'm on has a pro trans post, and about half of these end up filled with cis people crying discrimination because we... what? want respect and human rights? Give me a fucking break.

I wonder if it’s late to start the life I want to have. Can I get friends? Can I find the love of my life? What are your experiences late-bloomers, shoot for me.

Man, this year’s ballot has some disappointing measures. I live in Colorado and there were TWO measures asking about banning trans athletes from sports, doing genetic testing, etc. It’s extra disappointing since Colorado is a more progressive state. And to read these when I’m just discovering my trans identity, ugh.

Never had one but want one, have updated all legal papers in NC, scared to get one that will have birth sex on it.

Fair warning, this is very much a dysphoria vent post. Please ignore me spiraling.

I'm in my mid 20s, and I just realized earlier this year that I am definitely at least somewhat interested in transitioning. Last week I finally bit the bullet and bought a dress online. It was such a cute dress, with button up front and an asymmetrical skirt cut, and little leather straps off the sides. I did my little mens to women's clothing conversions and thought I was all set. I'm a little heavy set & worried that would be the problem.

Well it wasn't. The stomach area fit fine, not a problem whatsoever. It was my barrel chest & shoulders. The curse my father gave me, to be built broad-chested like a fucking human bulldog.

I just looked at myself in the mirror, a stupid MAN trying to be something he can never be ruining this lovely dress that my worthless body will never be able to fit into because I was born wrong. Maybe if I had realized YEARS ago i could have gotten on Blockers & E, but no, no no no now I'm just a disgusting failed cross dresser almost in his 30s.

I hate myself.

This post might break rule 14, if it does I'm so sorry, I just don't have anywhere else to turn to to get this out. I feel so dejected & destroyed

TW: Discussion related to death

I'm getting ready to change my name, and while thinking about everything it dawned on me that my deadname is already engraved on a headstone. Not exactly a great feeling, but nobody did anything wrong.

The headstone exists as it is because my parents were being considerate and planning for the future. They bought a family plot in the cemetery, worked with me, my brother, and my sister-in-law to choose a headstone, and had it engraved with all of our names. Even though thinking about it was uncomfortable, in the long run it seemed like it would make things easier.

Fast forward to today. Cancer took both my parents a couple years ago, my egg cracked, and when I visit my parents' grave I'm faced with a name I'll be leaving behind. I'm honestly not sure what to do about it. Has anyone else gone through something like this?

I was at school today, and as i was walking home, a couple of boys saw a perfume bottle in my backpack. I am not out, and they saw it and took it out and started laughing. It was embarrassing as heck, and i just dont want to be seen at all, and im crying, and I dont know what to do. i live in a small town in the southern part of the US. I dont want to exist anymore. Please, someone help

It’s mostly like I’m afraid of the in between and I feel that the end result would be lackluster for what I want to be, like if I could just be an afab that would be the perfect world

Edit: I suppose I should reword this, I am mostly afraid of starting the process and feeling the want to go back at any point, and I say endpoint because I really do not want male genitalia, however bottom surgery as it is right now is not at a point where I’m comfortable making that decision

Hi,

Like i said in the title, I have a trans son who is 14. Unfortunately I live in Texas and I'm not able to get him any type of care until he's an adult. At the moment he's still incredibly skinny but I know once puberty starts hitting harder and he fills out more in "feminine" ways it's going to hit him hard.

All of this to say that I want to start looking into getting him puberty blockers. I know that New Mexico does them for teens and I live only an hour away from New Mexico. So I was thinking we could see someone over there for his appointments. My question is if anyone knows if this is even possible? Would I be able to find a doctor for him? If so, how do I even go about that?

Thanks for any help!

15mtf, hoping to maybe go on estrogen soon. Only problems are Im not out to my parents yet, idk how easy it'll be to get estrogen in Michigan as a minor, and the main problem, im worried they'd be too big. (not to be weird, but) My mom had to have a breast reduction when she was younger because they were too big and hurt her back and were hard to manage, and I'm worried the same would happen to me if I went on E. Is that a reasonable fear, or would that not be passed down to me?

Whether or not your trans/non-binary, what have your experiences with body hair been so far? What were your body hair experiences prior to the decision of transitioning?

(I’m using this for research purposes for a zine project)

I've noticed none of the posts about genderfluid individuals find traction at all, and there isn't a genderfluid flair or anything.

As someone who currently identifies as genderfluid I am wondering why this is. Does this sub just have less genderfluid people in it?

I feel weird for even thinking this is a bad thing, but at my core, I know what my values are. I want to have a wife and I want to have kids in my life. But I am still a trans woman. I know a lot of people would use that against me, but those are my core value mixed with who I want to be. Does that make me less valid? Or weird? Or anything?

Edit: I know wanting a family isn't a "male" thing, it's just one of those things that people would SAY it is

I have a two year old niece on my partners side that me (27MTF I've been out for 6 months) and my partner (28NB) are being told we can't see anymore. We have been the go to babysitters and have been watching her around twice a month since she was born and see her more than that. We were told that they do not want to confuse their child. They are mad that my niece called me by my name.

I only casually took notice that both parents didn't use my name and used gender neutral pronouns for me. (even though they have never used gender neutral pronouns for my partner). But they have said that they don't want to have to teach there kid about trans people.

They told me that I look like a boy and so they will teach there kids to call me by my "real" name. As soon as I look like a girl then they are ok with having my niece use my name. That anyone in there kids presence has to use my deadname and he/him.

I know that is not going to go over well with some of the liberal side of the family. And the conservative side will be cheering. But I'm worried its going to split the family in half. My partners family is pretty evenly split between conservative and liberal. With even some weird liberal people married to conservative people mixed in. (I don't know how they deal with that)

I have a feeling that they will constantly move the goalpost and create more restrictions if I don't put my foot down about this. But I love my niece. I don't want this to be an issue. I'm kind of stuck on what I do. Its my partners family but we have been friends for ten years and together for seven. I think of them as my family to. I feel so guilty being the cause of family drama.

My mom had been trying to drag it out of me forever, always asking what’s wrong, talk to her, that she knows I’m keeping secrets, etc. I get it, she just wanted what’s best for me. But Tuesday I had my first appointment to get my hrt, and she knew something was up. Keep asking what’s wrong the appointment was for, just talk to her she won’t say nothing, she loves me. So after her asking over the span of like 2 hours on and off I just decided to say fuck it, and wrote a letter (cause I couldn’t say it out loud) about how I was trans, when I figured it out, what I have gone through, etc. Well I gave her the letter and left for my room cause I didn’t want to be there. I took a while before I got a message thanking me for sharing and that we will talk later. (Not the worst response but not what I was hoping for). Anyways yesterday and today I’ve been being avoidant cause I’m scared and don’t want to deal with the it. Again today I got we will talk about it tomorrow and that her head is spinning. She briefly tried acting normal but I think I messed that up by just avoiding conversation all day. It came up after I was done work that I needed to fast cause I have to get my bloodwork done and she basically said nothing, I tried asking where I normally go for it and she said “you have to get this done now”, I said yeah and she just stop responding. I left cause I don’t want to put my life on hold cause she needs to process… I said I’ll figure it out myself and goodnight (I admit not super nice but rather a dismissive way). After I came downstairs for water and she’s crying and gave me a bit of attitude after for something minor.
I guess where my problem arises is that I feel like I being made to feel guilty for doing nothing wrong. She’s been begging for me to open up, tell her what’s going on. Now all the sudden that I do she’s not ready to talk super upset and I feel like I just wanna hear she accepts me or she doesn’t accept me. It doesn’t matter I just want some sort of answer so I can move on with my life without having to be made to feel guilty for just being me. I’m literally the exact same person I was 2 days ago I just told you the information you’ve been begging to know.
I might be in the wrong, I might not, I don’t know. I just need to rant.

Edit: whelp we had a conversation and I can say it did not go well whatsoever. There was a yelling match, and I kept getting in trouble for not doing the work, not having my life figured out, that I don’t know my internal self. I was told that Its likely that my dad will kick me out when he hears. I was also told if I don’t tell him she will, (but in her eyes that’s not a threat). I was told there will be consequences, that I’m immature, got basically yelled at cause I couldn’t clearly tell her why I’m a women. Out right twisted my words against me. So yeah… i think im going to get kicked out and have my car taken from me so sick… but she tries to say she here to support me but doesn’t accept it. Like honest to god fuck my life

Sorry yall. This is gonna be a long one. I need help from the gestalt. Also I know the initial reaction after slogging through all this is to place blame at my wife. It’s not in my character to do so, so calling her out isn’t going to assist me in any way.

I’m a late thirties MtF who has repressed from a very early age. Testosterone hit me hard and I’m exactly the kind of build that I don’t want to be to transition. Tall, bulky, and hairy. I’ve repressed because I wanted a specific job and believed that if I forced myself into a role I’d be happy and the thoughts would go away. And I was. And they did. Until they didn’t. Now stuff keeps bubbling up. Little annoying things. Needless to say I’m having issues with these feelings and sought professional help. My therapist is a trans man and comparing his experiences to mine, he’s confident this is real and not based in some long lost childhood trauma. He’s confident I’ll transition at some point and present outwardly what I do on here, but hopefully less depressed. Everyone I’ve been out to has accepted it and is actively encouraging me embracing femininity more.

My issue is my wife. I love her with all my soul. Shes the mother of my two elementary aged kids. Losing any of them keeps me awake for hours if it gets in my head for even a moment at night. She’s a very open person for most social issues. She considers herself pansexual because she believes she’s attracted to the person not the body. Our relationship began very physically and is very physical even as we age. This does not mean we lack the emotional connection just this will be important later on.

My trans issues have come up during our relationship before. I was initially given a choice between her and continuing to explore. I chose her because I did and still love her more than anyone, myself included. Over time it would bubble up and I got caught covering up discussing the issue with a friend. She’s more hurt that I rely on others to talk about my issues (a la the account here) but she has made it known that she is PERSONALLY not attracted to trans folx. She will support them to her death, she will protest with others for their rights and attend pride events with her rainbow pin and donate. She’s just does not find us sexually exciting when she tries to imagine it. Given the physical side of our relationship I fear it’s a death knell for everything. I don’t feel like it’s right to rip that physical attraction away from her. I find her beautiful and enjoy looking at her physical form. I offer feedback when asked. What right do I have to take that same joy from her?

She also came from a life where she had to pick herself up on her own multiple times and had those around her betray or use her. Her experience says that if she’s been wrong it’s intentional. She’s mentioned that because the issues came up and I made the decision to stay with her, that if they come up and destroy the marriage she’s going to view it as me lying to her this whole time saying I had it under control. She views it as me wasting her life with a lie when she could have been happy and content with a cis het man instead of a pretend one. It would taint all of her memories of us. It makes me outright terrified of telling her anything related to my transness now because I’m afraid it will be the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m so terrified that I haven’t even told her I’m in therapy.

She is my world, I get panic attacks even thinking of divorce. But at the same time my therapist said he “can feel the waters changing” and has openly admitted he made notes recently “accidentally scribbling “she” when when [I was] talking about my feelings to [my therapist]. I’m dealing with the fear of losing my wife and family AND a bit of ego death as well.

What I want is someone to tell me it’s going to be ok. I want someone to tell me “here is how you talk to her so she won’t be upset”. I want to get though this awkward and painful uncertainty and move on with my life and family.

But I know that won’t happen. So please just give me your best advice, encouraging words, or even a meme to help me get through today. Today is quite possibly the worst day for me since my egg broke.

So literally a half and hour ago i messaged my mum saying that im trans and that i just don't want to be bothered coz this is hard to do and that I'd allow 1 message from her that if it was a question i would answer honestly. And she actually repsected me which is nice and my boyfriend has been there supporting me and making me feel nice and supported so yayyyyy. But now im scared about the next time i talk to my mother but atleast this part is over. Also im concidering never telling my dad coz he kinda sucks. If you would like i can put the message i sent into the comments but I'll change alot of the names coz i mentioned other people i know. I have the best bf i could ask for ^w^

Hi! I’ve recently discovered that I am mtf and would like to buy women’s underwear/clothing. I was just wondering if there’s any underwear that isn’t like tucking? Like it’s just wider in that area to be “normal” underwear without it being like tight for tucking/gaff? If there’s any website or brand recommendations please let me know, thank you! :3

I’m turning 18 very soon and I’m closeted. I never got to have a childhood as a girl and I never will. I’ve known I was trans since I was around 13 but couldn’t do anything because of my transphobic parents. For these past 5 years I’ve had to watch as my childhood slips away from me, as a persona steals it from me, never for me to have.

I know being 18 is still very young but I still won’t be able to come out for some time. Regardless, that major part of my life will never exist now.

I didn’t even get 1 day of my childhood as a girl 🥲