And I don’t even feel hate, just love and overwhelming feeling of loss

I (26F)am currently living with my partner (24M). I guess my question is am I actually being toxic or being the problem in my relationship? I met my partner online through a video game and tbh we started getting along pretty quick. We share common interests and were pretty much alike in most aspects. We started talking 5 months before we actually met in person. By the time we decided to meet each other we were practically already in a committed relationship.. he told me i was his and he was mine. We always went to sleep together on the phone.. showered, ate… pretty much we lived talking on the phone til we met up. I found out once I moved in that he was with another girl 3 days before i was suppose to meet up with him… i remember that night he told me he was just going out to a car meet and i even had his location.. and that night i went to sleep trusting that he was were he said. I went through his best friend’s messages and thats where the harsh reality hit. He wasn’t there. He was with some other girl. I confronted him about it and lied about it and instead tried to turn things on me about a past relationship i told him about..

2nd thing, i asked him about yet ANOTHER female… i saw their messages everything they did .. and i felt sick to my stomach as it was within the 2 months we were talking.. and til today he continues to lie about it and once again when i bring it up he turns stuff on me. Ive been pretty open and honest about my past relationships whether it’s been ugly or pretty. Anyways i come to find out she lives next door to us.. and what was even more wild.. she called him at 6am. I tried to grab his phone to answer and he proceeded to push me and say to leave it alone. I then text her through my phone and ask her what she wants why is she calling… she proceeded to ask if she can stay in OUR HOME til someone opened the door cause she was locked out of her apartment!!! Like what world did she think that was okay???? She KNOWS ABOUT ME!!! I proceeded to block her from his phone and my phone. Later on i eventually found out he had unblocked her. Once again i confronted him and he gives me the “ youre crazy and toxic “ lines.

3rd… this goes back to me reading the texts messages between him and his best friend. I also find out that he was fucking strippers left and right. I was genuinely shocked and very disgusted. I was disgusted that i let him touch me. I never wouldve if i knew that from the start. I asked him about it and til this day he denies it even tho ive shown the screenshots and told him i know and continues to lie.

4th.. one night we had a Intense and very heated argument.. i went to work the next day feeling terrible and i called him. He kept getting mad and frustrated until he eventually put me on dnd. I come to find out he was getting mad cause i was interrupting his porn video. I was feeling terrible and guilty.. while he was fine watching porn. A week before Christmas.

Theres alot more but my conclusion is that hes been telling me im toxic and very selfish for not trusting him.. do i have all the right to feel this way.. or am i actually being toxic

What I messaged my ex this morning.

“I stayed because I felt like I owed you; for the times you were present, and for the times that i wasn't. for the times you left your heart on the table, and i left my words standing by the front door. for the times you dived deep to reach me, and i allowed myself to drown. i stayed because my thoughts held me hostage, while guilt stared me down and told me i was wrong for even considering letting go. i stayed because the time and energy we put into our connection is something we could never get back, and what kind of person would i be to let something good go to waste? but did we have something good? or did we just pretend as if we did? if everything was as rosy as we painted it to be, then why did i feel so disconnected from you? why did i feel so disconnected from “us"? but staying because you feel indebted to someone defeats the purpose doesn't it? how are you repaying the faith someone has in you by staying where you don't want to be? how are you repaying the love someone has for you by overstaying where you've outgrown? how selfish it was of me to keep dangling the possibility of forever in your face. how selfish it was of me to stay in a space where I knew I could never reciprocate fully. how selfish i was to myself, for betraying my truth and turning my back on me. i guess, sympathy has a way of jading your judgement and maybe i had been sympathetic for way too long. i stayed because i felt like i owed you, but maybe the only thing that owed myself was the happiness you never gave me”

She always liked when I’d sing. She told me I had a beautiful voice and I was always to shy to sing in front of her. But the few times I did, she looked at me like I was her favorite artist and she had front row seats. What I’d give to sing to you one more time L. I miss you

I never planned on meeting you.

I never got to…

Say “I do”.

Dance with you to “Save the Best for Last” at our wedding.

See your body change as our children developed in you.

Feel our baby kick.

Share your pain of childbirth.

See you nursing our children.

Do mundane things together.

Argue about the chores.

Have you pick things out of my takeout that I hate, and me pick things out of yours.

Do your brakes on a fall day as you made dinner for us.

Make you soup when you were sick.

Hold hands walking across the Costco parking lot.

Spoon you on a cool fall night while trains sound their crossing horns in the distance.

Comfort one another when our parents passed.

Tell you “I love you” before I passed on my deathbed.

I never expected to be mourning you after decades.

LAYWBL DJM LMK

I opened up, became vulnerable, shared how I grew up with unavailable parents and my loneliness and he called me annoying. I have been crying for the past 3 hours while he abandoned me and fell asleep.

I don’t understand what happened last year

Do whatever is best for you

Love yourself

Value yourself

I don’t understand the mixed messages

Feel your feelings

so this guy and i have been texting back and forth on instagram for maybe like 2 or so months now. we've only met twice i think those were dates. i had a lot of fun during those times and he said he did too... i might've been a little awkward at the time tho.

but he's been pretty cold these past few days. our last date was 4 days ago and we weren't really talking much after that.

should i give him space and not reach out for a while? could he just be busy? i really like him and i want to get to know him more but he's such a busy person but im willing to wait for him. i just want to know if it's even worth waiting and pursuing if he's just uninterested. i wouldn't want to accidentally pressure him too. im actually tweaking because of this but im doing everything to not let it take up all of my headspace. im feeling so deeply about all this omg. pls can it just be him?

edit: he's the best. he is so cute and is so kind the whole time we were together. i might've messed things up by being awkward and i want to make it up to him but he's not really communicating much.

remember that there was a time when all I wanted was for that someone to be you. I imagined a future with your name in it. I stayed through the uncertainty, convinced that if I loved you a little longer, a little harder, one day you'd love me the same way. But that day never came.

So if one day you see another person holding my hand, making me feel safe, loving me the way I begged to be loved, don't think they were luckier than you. They simply gave me what I spent so long hoping you would. The hardest part is that even then, a part of me will remember that before I ever dreamed of being loved by them. I spent countless nights praying that it would still be you.

I don't think I need to explain. It's been 2 years since we broke up and it still fucking hurts.

I was seeing a girl at the beginning of the year and everything was super fun, light, natural, and sex was good as well. We never officially dated at any point but she broke things off with me on month 4 of seeing each other. I was sad but I moved on and respected her decision.

A month later she reached back out to me saying she was confused and that she wanted to see me and have a chat. We end up sleeping together 2 weekends in a row and at this point I’m quite confused but since I’m layed back I was going with the flow.

Over the summer we texted a bunch and I even tried to see her 2-3 times which she supposedly was excited about. Every time we had a an opportunity some random excuse always came up. At that point I started to suspect something and took my distance.

Summer ends and she writes to me again and so we go out for a drink and we end up dancing, kissing, on multiple occasions. I kept trying to take her home and she denied me for unknown reasons. She later confirmed that she had been seeing someone over the summer and never knew how to tell me.

I was so hurt and the fact that she could have just told me about this guy and I would have let her go in peace. I was so frustrated about it but it’s also my fault. Fast forward to now she wants to just be friends with benefits and I also would like that but don’t know if I can separate my feelings for her. I don’t know what to do at this point and I feel broken inside. Need advice!

Yeah, you read the title correctly. And not only that, she also claimed to have put my moms phone number with it as well.

Now, I dont know i how far this is true or just a broad statement to make me "scared" (wich it doesn't) or if it's actually true.

For a little bit of more context here, my ex and I know a friend who recently turned 18. When she was still 17 years old, she showed her my nudes basically without me knowing and without my consent.

There's multiple things I can do here. I can either just let it slide and not care at all. I could actually leak nudes of her online or I could go to the police and say what happened, although police is not gonna do much about it (cause dutch police suck and they only do something when things either escalate or its really really bad).

If you guys have any advice, it's always welcome and this is also to just share my thought behind it

f(22) was seeing a m(24) since august. 2 months together we talked everyday and every night despite our busy schedules. he travelled thru cities to see me and meet me for the first time as we met online. we met again a second and third time. when we met the second time it was clear we are gonna get married. throughout the interactions we never really rushed. we started out as friends for to know each other and caught really deep feelings for each other. by the end we were truly in love. the last time i saw him a few days ago(he said i love you the first time to my face and it was a really vulnerable and special moment), after that day when i saw him we had a little conversation about his job and my studies and kids. and turns out we are incompatible bcz his job requires switching places and my study course would require me to stay at one place for 3-4 years. i told him i don’t want to have kids till late twenties(28/29/30). he said that would be a problem bcz he wants to become a dad and doesn’t want to have kids so later in life. we were on call with each other when he mentioned kids again and i told him i dont mind having kids but most of the responsibly that comes with them would be on me while i would be doing my course and he would be moving around places. and if he wants that he would have to take majority of responsibilities of raising them. then he said ‘this wont work’ and he was really clear about it and i understood what he meant there was no point in protesting. call done i texted him to clarify and he said he doesn’t want either of us to compromise and he loves me dearly yet it is what it is . i didnt say anything. i told him to never contact me again bcz i was sad and angry. we haven’t talked in two days and i dont think we will ever be talking again. us, me and him, the love we had and have is real, i thought the worst way that we could stop pursuing each other would be if we lose feelings or one of us dies and i never say this coming. i feel so hurt bcz this is the first guy i have truly loved and ive been in love with. for him im probably not the first girl. i just feel really angry and sad at how he could just leave like that and how he judged me and decided im not worth it. i’m coming to the conclusion that he loves the idea of becoming a father more than he loves me and im just not worth it despite the love. for me i dont know how to exist anymore bcz he got entangled in my life so deeply everywhere i see i see reminders of him and i dont know if i can ever remove him from my life and i at the same time dont want to remove him bcz that would just be the eternal end and i dont want to live a life where he doesn’t exist. i cant stop crying since 2 days.
if anyone has any advice or thoughts on this pls lmk!!

tldr/summary: m(24) and f(22) deeply and truly in love but he gave up on me bcz i do not want kids till late twenties

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M20 need someone to talk

I was in an on-and-off long distance relationship with a guy for 4 years. He never gave me the proper commitment I wanted, but he would come back into my life and give me hope but never commitment even after I blocked him many times.

The last time he came back in 2025, he told me he regretted losing me and wanted me in his life. He loves me and wants to marry me and I'm his last girl. I trusted him again. But there were fights 2-3 times regarding previous hurt he had caused me followed by me blocking him and then unblocking him again and then we started talking normally.

However, once, when I asked him for help with a college assignment, he didn't want to help. I felt hurt and stopped talking to him for a week, but eventually, I reached out to him again. This time, he ghosted me permanently.

Around 3–4 months later, he got into a new relationship, and now it's been a year. From what I can see, their relationship seems to be going well.

I'm struggling to digest the fact that he couldn't give me the commitment I wanted for years, yet he seems to be making things work with someone else. People told me that he would eventually come back, that his new relationship wouldn't last, and that he would repeat the same behaviour with his new girlfriend. But he hasn't come back, and their relationship is still going. He has deleted my number.

Now I'm starting to wonder whether I was the problem. If he can be in a seemingly stable relationship with someone else, does that mean I was the problem? Why hasn't his karma hit him?

When we started, everything was intense and new and exciting for both of us. But as time went on, the more she questioned my genuine love. I never tried to change her, I only supported whatever she decided she wanted to do. But she instead over and over that she couldn't meet my level of love. And the more inadequate she felt, the more she started to pull away, and the more she pulled away the more argued. Till finally she found her excuse to leave and she ended the relationship, I didn't chase.

She came back 3 days later and we were back in a state where she had all the power to decide where we go in a relationship cause that's what made her feel comfortable. Yet she wasn't. We made it one more year before she texted me in the middle of the night saying that she couldn't do "this" anymore. Saying we were going in two separate ways. That she wasn't happy, she couldn't be in a relationship right now cause she herself feels lost.funny enough the day before we were planning a Disney trip saying how happy she was and that she couldn't wait.

11 days later she messaged me asking me to help her sister. She said I was the only one she trusted. And soon she kinda just found her way back. We decided to stay friends. But that friendship resembled a deep relationship to anyone else who saw it from the outside. But since we weren't a "couple" she started dating right away. Which was funny cause she said she didn't want a relationship for a while.

About 1 month ago, after spending everyday together, she comes out saying she had been seeing someone and that she thought being friends couldn't be because of our bond/past relationships history. I was completely blindsided. The day before this we were planning a family trip with her mom, two sisters and one of their boyfriends.

I gave her a shoulder to lean on in tough times, I gave her the energy and financial help she needed at times. I was there when no one else was and I myself didn't have much to give but l showed up. I gave her all my respect. So how is it that one human can do this to another human when you tell them day in and day out for 5 years, "you and I are for life no matter what"? How can you make people feel so safe and then pull the rug from under them twice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years. And I think it is ending. (we are talking about it in a few days).

He is my favourite person in the world, the only person I want to hang out with, the only person I feel like talking to, the only person I have fun with, the only person I want to share my life with. Last year he broke my trust and did some shady things (could be emotional infidelity but I had no concrete proof). I know I should have broken up with him (I actually did but we got back together quickly after), but I chose to give him a second chance, given our otherwordly connection and how unlikely it is to meet someone like this.

A relationship with no trust is not easy at all, but we chose to be together and continue working on each other, we worked so hard! I recently found something shady from the original ordeal last year and I left again... We had been trying so hard though! We had made such improvements and were doing so much better (in regards to trust, and arguments)... I genuinely don't believe he was being unfaithful anytime recently, but the suspicion and doubt is there, which makes it so hard to stay together.

I have spent my whole life searching for someone I connect with, searching for MY person. I had a childhood bestfriend that I had the same connection with (albeit not romantic), and that ended. My current two best friends, one had been growing distant, and after doing something hurtful to me, she told me she had actually resented me for years and had many issues with "traits of my character". The other one we just don't have anything in common anymore, she drinks all the time, is very career focussed and doesn't really engage in conversation with me (nothing wrong with any of this) (it is strange because we used to talk for hours and hours about random stuff, I would still love this but I think we have just grown apart). My mum has dementia and a lot of the care falls on me as her daughter (I'm 23). I have a dead end job at a supermarket where I work until midnight on most days (it has its perks, we get a lot of free food, and I love cooking so it works for me for now). Anyway this was just to show how alone I am now. I have been so alone for so long. My life feels so colourless, I just want community to share it with. My boyfriend was/is my whole world. We loved each other, and found happiness and comfort and life in each other. We have the same interests, same sense of humour, same style, same general opinions, same outlook on life, we hold each other up and support one another.

I have been trying to make new friends for the past couple of months but it is so tough... no one compares to him... I know that logically someone who loves me the way I love them wouldnt break my trust the way my boyfriend did, but my life is so painful and sad at the moment that I can't bear to be alone.....

I'm the type of person to dedicate myself to my partner/best friends. They become my lifeline and where I get happiness from. I know that's probably not healthy. But really being alone is so so boring and lame. Why should be okay with my own company when I am meant to be in a community? Why should I be forced to be alone when community is what makes me happy? I just want my person man, I just want to be surrounded by people that love me for who I am, that love the same things as me, that want to talk often and stay updated with each other and dont just catch up every few months...