I (26F)am currently living with my partner (24M). I guess my question is am I actually being toxic or being the problem in my relationship? I met my partner online through a video game and tbh we started getting along pretty quick. We share common interests and were pretty much alike in most aspects. We started talking 5 months before we actually met in person. By the time we decided to meet each other we were practically already in a committed relationship.. he told me i was his and he was mine. We always went to sleep together on the phone.. showered, ate… pretty much we lived talking on the phone til we met up. I found out once I moved in that he was with another girl 3 days before i was suppose to meet up with him… i remember that night he told me he was just going out to a car meet and i even had his location.. and that night i went to sleep trusting that he was were he said. I went through his best friend’s messages and thats where the harsh reality hit. He wasn’t there. He was with some other girl. I confronted him about it and lied about it and instead tried to turn things on me about a past relationship i told him about..

2nd thing, i asked him about yet ANOTHER female… i saw their messages everything they did .. and i felt sick to my stomach as it was within the 2 months we were talking.. and til today he continues to lie about it and once again when i bring it up he turns stuff on me. Ive been pretty open and honest about my past relationships whether it’s been ugly or pretty. Anyways i come to find out she lives next door to us.. and what was even more wild.. she called him at 6am. I tried to grab his phone to answer and he proceeded to push me and say to leave it alone. I then text her through my phone and ask her what she wants why is she calling… she proceeded to ask if she can stay in OUR HOME til someone opened the door cause she was locked out of her apartment!!! Like what world did she think that was okay???? She KNOWS ABOUT ME!!! I proceeded to block her from his phone and my phone. Later on i eventually found out he had unblocked her. Once again i confronted him and he gives me the “ youre crazy and toxic “ lines.

3rd… this goes back to me reading the texts messages between him and his best friend. I also find out that he was fucking strippers left and right. I was genuinely shocked and very disgusted. I was disgusted that i let him touch me. I never wouldve if i knew that from the start. I asked him about it and til this day he denies it even tho ive shown the screenshots and told him i know and continues to lie.

4th.. one night we had a Intense and very heated argument.. i went to work the next day feeling terrible and i called him. He kept getting mad and frustrated until he eventually put me on dnd. I come to find out he was getting mad cause i was interrupting his porn video. I was feeling terrible and guilty.. while he was fine watching porn. A week before Christmas.

Theres alot more but my conclusion is that hes been telling me im toxic and very selfish for not trusting him.. do i have all the right to feel this way.. or am i actually being toxic

She always liked when I’d sing. She told me I had a beautiful voice and I was always to shy to sing in front of her. But the few times I did, she looked at me like I was her favorite artist and she had front row seats. What I’d give to sing to you one more time L. I miss you

What I messaged my ex this morning.

“I stayed because I felt like I owed you; for the times you were present, and for the times that i wasn't. for the times you left your heart on the table, and i left my words standing by the front door. for the times you dived deep to reach me, and i allowed myself to drown. i stayed because my thoughts held me hostage, while guilt stared me down and told me i was wrong for even considering letting go. i stayed because the time and energy we put into our connection is something we could never get back, and what kind of person would i be to let something good go to waste? but did we have something good? or did we just pretend as if we did? if everything was as rosy as we painted it to be, then why did i feel so disconnected from you? why did i feel so disconnected from “us"? but staying because you feel indebted to someone defeats the purpose doesn't it? how are you repaying the faith someone has in you by staying where you don't want to be? how are you repaying the love someone has for you by overstaying where you've outgrown? how selfish it was of me to keep dangling the possibility of forever in your face. how selfish it was of me to stay in a space where I knew I could never reciprocate fully. how selfish i was to myself, for betraying my truth and turning my back on me. i guess, sympathy has a way of jading your judgement and maybe i had been sympathetic for way too long. i stayed because i felt like i owed you, but maybe the only thing that owed myself was the happiness you never gave me”

And I don’t even feel hate, just love and overwhelming feeling of loss

I don't think I need to explain. It's been 2 years since we broke up and it still fucking hurts.

I was seeing a girl at the beginning of the year and everything was super fun, light, natural, and sex was good as well. We never officially dated at any point but she broke things off with me on month 4 of seeing each other. I was sad but I moved on and respected her decision.

A month later she reached back out to me saying she was confused and that she wanted to see me and have a chat. We end up sleeping together 2 weekends in a row and at this point I’m quite confused but since I’m layed back I was going with the flow.

Over the summer we texted a bunch and I even tried to see her 2-3 times which she supposedly was excited about. Every time we had a an opportunity some random excuse always came up. At that point I started to suspect something and took my distance.

Summer ends and she writes to me again and so we go out for a drink and we end up dancing, kissing, on multiple occasions. I kept trying to take her home and she denied me for unknown reasons. She later confirmed that she had been seeing someone over the summer and never knew how to tell me.

I was so hurt and the fact that she could have just told me about this guy and I would have let her go in peace. I was so frustrated about it but it’s also my fault. Fast forward to now she wants to just be friends with benefits and I also would like that but don’t know if I can separate my feelings for her. I don’t know what to do at this point and I feel broken inside. Need advice!

Yeah, you read the title correctly. And not only that, she also claimed to have put my moms phone number with it as well.

Now, I dont know i how far this is true or just a broad statement to make me "scared" (wich it doesn't) or if it's actually true.

For a little bit of more context here, my ex and I know a friend who recently turned 18. When she was still 17 years old, she showed her my nudes basically without me knowing and without my consent.

There's multiple things I can do here. I can either just let it slide and not care at all. I could actually leak nudes of her online or I could go to the police and say what happened, although police is not gonna do much about it (cause dutch police suck and they only do something when things either escalate or its really really bad).

If you guys have any advice, it's always welcome and this is also to just share my thought behind it