Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5+ years and have been living together for the last 6 months.

I pay all of the rent, bills, groceries, and regularly buy her takeaways. She says that she should only pay for things when she wants to and gets offended when I ask her to pay for things.

She didn't have a job for the last few months and wasn't looking for one either. She went on 2 holidays without me in this time. Her money ran out a few weeks ago so she's got a job now. I paid for her work clothes and shoes for her interviews

Now that she's got a job, I was hoping that she'd start paying her own way, but she's now asking me for more money (£10) to pay for some work expenses. She has the money but doesn't want to spend it and has also said that she won't pay me back for it. I know it's only a tenner but I was really hoping that she'd start paying for more things now she's got a job.

Am I being unreasonable here by not wanting to give her £10 on top of all the other stuff? I was looking at my finances and I've gone from saving £600+ each paycheque to not saving anything since we moved in together.

Like does it even matter, if it’s good would it convince you to give her a chance?

Thanks

hey, 22f here and unfortunately I don’t have very good body genetics (regarding modern beauty standards) despite working out. No wide hips, no big thighs, no tiny waist…
So I was wondering, if you have a new partner with a not-so-ideal body, and you’re being intimate, do you compare it to your exes in your head? I really have been overthinking a lot recently.

We’ve been together for 8 years and honestly, I love him so much. But I’m reaching a breaking point and I don't know what to do anymore.

​Every time he sees me naked or in my underwear, he wants to have sex. If I’m sick he still tries. If I say "maybe later" he’ll literally ask me 1h later when we’re doing it. Every single day. Multiple times a day.

​I’d actually love to initiate sex on my own terms, but I literally never get the chance. I’ve been forcing myself to go along with it for so long because whenever I say no, his whole mood shifts, he gets quiet, distant, visibly hurt, and I end up feeling like the worst girlfriend on earth.

​I can’t keep faking it. It’s gotten to a point where I feel awful about myself and I can barely look in the mirror anymore.

​Outside of this, he’s genuinely a sweet, caring guy. But sexually, I feel like I'm breaking down. How do I bring this up without making him feel rejected or insecure about his performance?

Edit: I don't want it to seem like I don't enjoy having sex, normally, I'd feel comfortable doing it once every 2 to 3 days.

Would prefer advice from an older more mature group.

I am a 33M virgin, for various reasons, career focused, bodily shame about small penis size, and grew up in religious household.

I am now seeing a girl where we have been friends for 10 years. Back in her college days she was a bit sexual (not a lot by most standards), and we met in an online group.

That group was vulgar, and she shared details like giving oral to a guy, who her partners were, specific acts, and gave nudes to a guy who released them to my closest friends.

I love her, and many things about her, and don’t blame her for that time of her life. And I have no concerns about the current version of her.

But I can’t help but get fleeting intrusive thoughts, about my friends seeing/having naked pictures of her, and everyone knowing what sexual acts she did and with whom.

I don’t resent her, but I feel I resent my only friend group. And I don’t want to just make new friends, as I’ve known them my whole life, and am socially awkward.

I am just wondering, if anyone has been able to mentally let go of a partners past, without letting it effect them mentally. I already don’t dwell on it all day, but the thoughts enter for seconds here and there

In (M)y 25 years of existence believe me I dont know how to lead in a relationship. To all the guys out there please give me some two cents of advise on how to lead in a relationship.

TL;DR: My boyfriend of 6.5 years spent four months seeking out sexualized Instagram content despite a boundary we’d explicitly agreed on, then initially lied about masturbating to it. He now acknowledges the betrayal and has started therapy, but three years of unresolved intimacy issues add another layer. Marriage plans are paused, and we’re taking space while still occasionally seeing each other. I love him but don’t know whether I want the relationship anymore - or whether I’d regret leaving without trying to rebuild trust.

About two months ago, I discovered that my boyfriend had been repeatedly seeking out sexualized Instagram accounts, including OF creators, over approximately four months. He eventually admitted that some visits were for arousal and that he sometimes masturbated to the content.

This crossed an agreement we had already made. He has acknowledged responsibility since the confrontation, but I’m struggling to decide whether I want to attempt reconciliation.

The boundary and discovery

About five years ago, early in our relationship, something similar happened on a much smaller scale. We discussed it, and he agreed not to do it again. I understood that to be an established boundary.

His Instagram was logged in on my phone with his knowledge because he occasionally used it when we were together. He goes through phases of downloading and deleting the app depending on how much time he feels he’s spending on it. One evening, he asked me to search for a friend through his account, and I noticed a sexualized account in his recent searches.

I initially brushed it off. When I checked later, the searches had been cleared. Over the following weeks, I found further activity showing repeated visits to similar profiles.

When I confronted him, he initially minimized it with explanations like enjoying someone’s travel content or imagining me wearing their outfits. We talked for hours, and I eventually became overwhelmed, yelled, and left.

He later acknowledged the sexual nature of the behavior. He said suggestive content would appear while scrolling and he would give in and explore the profiles. He described some visits as curiosity and others as driven by attraction and arousal. His explanation was that it had become “a dopamine loop” he turned to when stressed or bored.

The truth also came out gradually. When I directly asked whether he had masturbated to the content, he initially said no. Almost a month later, he admitted that he had. He has since acknowledged that the denial was a choice. This added another layer to the breach of trust because even after the confrontation, I wasn’t immediately given the full picture.

What hurts most is that he admitted remembering our earlier agreement and knowing that finding out would hurt me, but continuing anyway.

Based on what I saw and what he told me, I found no evidence of messaging, paid subscriptions, likes, comments, saved posts, or other direct engagement. Those forms of interaction would have made leaving a clear decision for me. Their absence matters to how I’m weighing this, but it doesn’t erase the boundary he knowingly crossed.

This happened while we were seeing each other frequently, buying a house, and discussing marriage. I felt deeply connected and secure, which is part of why the discovery has made me question my understanding of the relationship. His explanation about stress also leaves me worried about how he would handle future difficulties.

An unresolved intimacy issue adds another layer

Our LDR ended three years ago, but we have never successfully had penetrative sex during the relationship because he loses his erection when we try. We have other forms of intimacy, he is attentive to my pleasure, and I have felt satisfied in those ways.

Over those three years, I repeatedly raised getting the ED medically evaluated, but he didn’t follow through. I didn’t want to shame or pressure him, but I wanted us to address it.

I am not able to tell whether the Instagram behavior and erection difficulties are connected. It hurts that an issue affecting our shared intimacy remained unresolved while he privately pursued this sexual outlet.

His response since

Despite the initial minimization and later admission of lying, he now acknowledges crossing our boundary and considers what he did cheating. He has engaged in difficult conversations and listened to my hurt. He hasn’t called me crazy or insecure, pressured me to accept it, or told me I’m overreacting. He deleted Instagram and independently started therapy.

Outside of this, I have experienced him as a loving, supportive partner. Before the discovery, his desire for commitment had never been in question. He consistently wanted engagement and marriage and brought it up more than I did.

However, during one of our conversations after the confrontation, he said he wasn’t asking me to wait and since he caused the hurt and doesn’t feel entitled to reach out or assume I want him around. He wants contact to happen on my terms.

Where we are now

Engagement and marriage plans are paused. Privately, I guess we consider ourselves broken up and are taking space, but we still see each other occasionally - sometimes for logistics because our lives are intertwined, and sometimes because we want to spend time together.

I have not given him a list of repair steps since I want to see what responsibility he takes independently rather than feel like I’m managing the process.

I’m less overwhelmed than I was initially, but I’m still hurt and stuck. I mentally revisit old memories, question things I previously felt secure about, compare myself to those women, and scan where his attention goes when we’re together. It’s exhausting. I know I can't police his eyes for the rest of our lives.

I’m grieving the security I used to feel, but I’m also unsure whether I even want the relationship anymore. I still love him and miss spending time with him, yet that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to rebuild a future together.

At the same time, I worry I might regret leaving without giving repair a chance. I believe the loving, supportive qualities I experienced in him were real, and I’m struggling to reconcile those with his repeated choice to cross this boundary. I don’t want to minimize what happened because of his good qualities, but I don’t want to dismiss those qualities either.

His willingness to work on himself matters, but I don’t know whether my own desire to continue is still there - or whether fear of regretting a breakup is making it harder to let go.

Being unmarried also weighs on me. If we were already married, I imagine I might feel more inclined to attempt repair before leaving. Right now, I’m deciding whether I still want to make that commitment at all.

Additional context

• We’re both Indian. Cultural and family expectations mean we don’t live together, stay overnight, or travel together. We have opportunities for intimacy, but limited private time.
• He recently bought a house and insisted on adding me to the title even though I hadn’t contributed financially. This illustrates how serious our future felt and how intertwined our lives are. It doesn’t cancel out what happened or obligate me to stay.
• He has stood up for me during difficulties with his family and expressed willingness to limit or end contact if necessary to protect our relationship. I’m struggling to reconcile that commitment with the secrecy in this area.
• I would have been open to an honest conversation about sexual frustration or unmet needs and discussing mutually acceptable outlets. Instead, he acted privately despite our existing agreement.

The perspective I’m looking for

I’m particularly interested in hearing from men who have crossed a partner’s boundary, worked through similar behavior, or rebuilt trust in a long-term relationship.

I understand that couples have different agreements about sexual content. My question is about knowingly breaking an existing agreement and initially lying afterward.

• If you’ve done something similar, what helped you change beyond feeling guilty or afraid of losing your partner?
• What did taking responsibility look like without your partner managing the process?
• How did you respect a partner’s need for space while still showing initiative?
• If you described your behavior as a response to stress or boredom, what did you actually change about how you handled those feelings?
• What would you encourage me to look for before deciding whether to attempt reconciliation?

I’m open to honest perspectives, including that leaving may be healthier.

Note: I used AI to help organize my thoughts because there’s a lot of context and I’ve been struggling to explain it clearly. This is my actual experience, and the questions are my own.

Hey guys, I’m looking for some honest perspectives from men, especially those who’ve been in serious relationships or have dealt with trust issues themselves.

My boyfriend (M 24) and I (F 22) have been together a couple months now. He has limited relationship experience, whereas I’ve had several relationships, both short term and long term. Unfortunately, the majority of my past relationships ended with me being cheated on. I’ve done a lot of healing, but something that happened early in my current relationship brought some of those trust issues back.

Within our first week together, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was his first time, too. I asked for consent multiple times, and he said yes each time. When a friend of his (M 25?), who had feelings for him, asked about it, my boyfriend described the situation as something along the lines of “entrapment.” He later explained that he wasn’t ready to discuss our sex life with his friend.

A few weeks later, I found out this same friend had called my boyfriend and spent much of the conversation insulting me. What hurt was that my boyfriend hadn’t really defended me, and he continued entertaining the friendship despite the strain it was putting on us.

Eventually, I reached my breaking point and told him I couldn’t remain in a relationship where this friendship continued. He chose to end the friendship that night.

Since then, our relationship has grown significantly stronger. My boyfriend puts effort into us, checks in frequently, and genuinely tries to understand me. We both have anxiety, and we support and reassure each other. Our relationship is reciprocal, and we’re learning to communicate in ways that help us both feel heard. We’re also intentional about being interdependent rather than codependent.

Here’s my problem: I still get waves of anxiety about what happened. Sometimes the urge to go through his phone is so strong that it genuinely eats me alive. I haven’t done it because I respect his privacy and don’t want to become controlling. I also don’t have concrete evidence that he’s doing anything behind my back.

When I ask whether I’m his only one, he doesn’t become defensive. He reassures me, and I recognize the effort he puts into our relationship. I genuinely love him and see a future with him, but I hate that something from our first month together still affects me this way.

For the guys, I’d especially appreciate your perspective on a few things:

1). If you were in my boyfriend’s position, how would you have handled that friendship?
2). If your girlfriend was struggling with trust because of something that happened early in the relationship, what would help you rebuild trust without feeling constantly suspected?
3). How would you want your partner to communicate these feelings to you?
4). For men who’ve experienced betrayal or dated someone with trust issues, what helped you build a secure relationship?

I’m not looking for reasons to leave him. I see his effort, and I know we’re both trying. I want to understand how to work through these feelings without allowing my past experiences to damage a relationship that genuinely matters to me.

I’m open to honest criticism, too. I want to grow from this, not just be told I’m right.

Thanks for reading.

TL;DR: My boyfriend’s friend, who had feelings for him, disrespected me and undermined our relationship early on. My boyfriend eventually ended the friendship, and our relationship has grown much stronger. We both put in effort, communicate, and support each other, but I still get waves of anxiety from past relationships where I was cheated on. Sometimes the urge to check his phone is overwhelming, even though I have no evidence of wrongdoing and don’t want to violate his privacy. Men, how would you handle this situation, and what would help you rebuild trust?

I (F28) have been talking to this guy (M30) for a month and he had been texting me at least twice a day consistently and then after our fourth hangout he didn’t text for a day and then reached out asking about me and didn’t respond back till like 20 hours later but it was a warm and thoughtful response. He’s texted me significantly slower than he did before and i won’t see him for another two weeks cause he’s going out of town. He texts with same energy just slower i don’t know what that means. Should i just continue talking because im considering just leaving him on read if he’s creating distance.

Hi, I am 21 and my bf is 25. He has is own apartment and l live with my parent for college. I want to move out but the job l have wouldn’t financially support me and if l move out with my bf, my parents wouldn’t let me come back home if we broke up. Will a relationship last if say in 3 years we still together, can it still survive without living together. Or sex at a hotel is norm ?
Thank you.

So my girlfriend has this little crush on a celebrity by the name of Jon Bernthal. Well not quite little, she is obsessed with him. He is a good actor in my opinion and celebrity crushes are okay in a relationship I guess, but this might be too far, let me tell you something.

So like I said she and her friend are obsessed with him, sharing like a million edits with eachother and talking about how hot he is. And for some reason she shares all of their dm's with me, like purposefully making me jealous.

I dont remember everything they have said in those dm's, but some things have sticked out. Like once her friend said "I need backshots from him" and she replied "so real" and then showed that to me. And they have created their own quote which goes "Pick me up and fuck me up". And once when she was in a theathre watching a movie where he was, she took a snap of a scene where he was and put text to it that went "DADDY🤤🤤" or something.

Like tf? Dont you want me, your boyfriend? And why would you send me that kinda snap? Almost like she wants me to feel jealous. And she always says that her celebrity crushes are nothing serious and just thinks that they are hot. Well it doesnt sound like that does it? Im an overthinking guy and this has been bothering me for quite some time now, and it has made me jealous and hurt my feelings. Like everytime she mentions her and her friends dm's about Jon Bernthal I just lose my mood.

Am I over reacting? Should I tell her my feelings about this or just leave it be? I have tried to make some signs that I dont like her being this obsessed, but it doesnt seem to work. I dont know what to do so Im asking you guys for help. And sorry for this being so long, I tried to give all the crucial information at once. Please answer

Okay, so the title pretty much explains it but I (30F) have been seeing someone (30M) for about 7 months now. This wasn’t a problem for the first ~5 months, but now it’s constant and really bothers me. He only showers every 2-3 days, and usually “rinses off” on the off days. Doesn’t wash his sheets for 3-4 weeks at a time. Doesn’t always brush his teeth before bed and I’m not talking about we fell asleep and didn’t, I mean it’s an active decision to not brush them before bed most nights because he “did before he came over” even though we’d eaten before bed and his breath was honestly kind of stinky. His body odor isn’t…sour? But it’s musky and definitely there.

I am pretty strict on my personal hygiene. I shower at least once a day, almost always at night before bed. I absolutely hate getting into bed without showering. It makes me feel dirty and I usually have to change the sheets the next day because it bothers me. The only night I don’t shower is Saturday (which is rare), because I always change my sheets on Sundays. I always brush my teeth before bed unless I fell asleep or something. I’ll be like “hey I’m going to brush my teeth, you comin’?” to kind of nudge him along but….nothing.

This has been bothering me for a bit now, but I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to offend him or hurt his feelings or make him feel badly about himself. But honestly, this is a dealbreaker for me if it can’t improve. I don’t feel like I should have to tell a grown man how to have good hygiene… A few nights ago, I texted him asking if he wanted to take a shower together when he got here (it was later at night) or if he was showering before he came over. Kind of trying to hint at…you need to be clean, I just put fresh sheets on my bed (he knew this). He got to my place and did not smell or look like he had showered. I told him I was hopping in the shower soon and asked if he already had. He said he hadn’t and that he didn’t need to shower. I playfully reminded him that I put fresh sheets on and would love for us to crawl into a clean bed, being freshly clean. He asked me if I wanted him to shower and I told him I wasn’t going to ask him to do that, but that I really don’t like getting into fresh sheets while dirty from the day. He didn’t end up showering with me. That made me feel kind of disrespected honestly.

I understand that this is a pretty sensitive topic for some people and I so badly don’t want to hurt him, but when his odor sticks to my sheets after he gets out of bed….just no. I can’t deal with that.

Men, how can I gently communicate this? Is it even worth trying to fix or should I just accept it and move on?

For context, we live in the US, we aren’t in a serious relationship, and I’ve never been to his place (roommates, we are just casually seeing each other, etc.) so I haven’t slept in the 4 week old sheets. Thank you in advance!

There’s a guy who works in a different department at my workplace. For about two years, I’ve noticed him looking at me whenever we’re around each other, but we’ve never really spoken or gotten to know each other.

Recently, I found out he somehow figured out my name and found my Instagram account, then sent me a follow request. I never gave him my Instagram or told him my full name directly and he has no way of knowing either since we are in two totally different departments.

Men, I’m curious: if you were attracted to a woman at work but had never actually spoken to her, would you try to find her Instagram and follow her? Is this pretty normal behavior when a guy is interested in someone, or would you consider it unusual to go looking for someone’s social media without having interacted with them much?

I'm also creeped out by the fact somehow he found my name and looked for my socials instead of having a conversation with me first or at least sending me a message before requesting to follow me out of the blue.

Long story short, ive been with my man for coming up to 3 years on and off and hes recently made a request to basically have a “house party” with me, him, a friend he can trust and that friends girlfriend. Essentially his fantasy is for me and the guy to maybe dance with one another get kind of close, maybe him touch my waist, my boobs a bit, me put my hands in his boxers and then stop. Go back to him (my own man) and then we fuck, in private i believe.

He keeps saying like “set him up” “make him go crazy” but “dont make him fuck”. Basically he wants me to make the guy jealous, tease him, but then not allow him access to me and then go back to him (my man) and fuck him.

My questions are:
1) is my man a cuck of some sort?
2) should i be worried that he wants to do that with me? 3) Does this mean he doesnt love me or see a proper future with me?
4) does this mean he sees me as some sort of whore

Note: Im not overly against the idea of another man desiring me in my mans presence and kind of making him sweat but the whole “put your hands in his boxers” thing, letting the man kind of touch my waist, boobs is a bit much for me

Sorry for any typos its late and my minds all over the place😭

Me woman 27 and I’m with a male 24 and we’re like in a disconnection right now and I don’t really know how to work about it now granted I just found some like weird stuff in his phone but we’re trying to work it out. He has a connection problem. He doesn’t know how to express his feelings and I don’t know anything other than he likes video games and music but mostly video games and he loves his children that we have together. We’ve been together for about seven years as of this year and I broke down and I told him how I felt about everything he says he understands and he apologizes and that he’s trying. I want to know what I can do as a partner to help show him that I love him and care for him. I am a stay at home mom I take care of our one year-old baby. I take my five-year-old son to school. I take the kids to their appointments, I set up the appointments. My son has autism and ADHD. I’m still kind of going through postpartum myself. I try to clean and I try to cook every day. I’m trying, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to connect with someone who’s kind of emotionally unavailable. Cold was a hard time connecting with their significant other but he says he loves me.

I also want to understand why every time we have a really significant argument we end up having sex afterwards and he’s turned on. I don’t understand that I want someone to help me understand why it turns out that way

What are some ways to make our relationship work more or what can I do as a significant other to make things easier for him?

Hi guys, basically my closest friend came to me genuinely and asked me what the red flags that he gives off are. he’s been single for a really long time (almost all his adult life) and im certain he asked me in regards to this fact.

i love the guy and he‘s unbelievably kind and thoughtful and an amazing friend. But he’s never had a career and works the same dead end job he has since being a teenager, lives with his parents, is essentially a shut in with only indoor hobbies, and has no romantic history in adulthood. he’s also totally unwilling to do dating apps or even go anywhere like bars or volunteering or other common ways to meet others. He basically has given himself the option of meeting someone at work and that’s it, but again, even that is mostly staffed by teenagers or old people.

ive gotten feedback and advice before that as a woman I shouldn’t be so candid with him to talk about these issues and their affect on his dating life. My husband has told me multiple times he would need to hear this kind of stuff from another man, I’ve posted about him here before as well and received similar sentiment.

What do you guys think, what should I say to him and how honest should I be about his red flags?

My boyfriend 29M and I 30F have been dating about a year now. A few months into our relationship I saw he paid a girl to get access to her sexual content. I was gonna break it off bc that’s cheating to me. He begged and pleaded that he would never do that again. I told him it hurts bc he was seeking out specific women’s content AND paying for it. He said he wouldn’t do it again.

A couple months later, I saw he was looking at specific women again. Now I feel my insecurities rising because I don’t look like the women in the porn he’s watching. When I talked to him about it, he said that he’ll stop with the porn. I told him if that’s what he wants to do however, it’s hypocritical bc I watch porn too. He said he doesn’t want to hurt me so he will stop.

More recently, we got into a fight and after we resolved, I saw he masterbated while I wasn’t there. I brought this up to him due to the past stuff and was vulnerable with my feelings that he waited to do that while we were arguing and I was sad and upset that we were fighting. He got a little defensive and I told him I’m not attacking him, I just want him to understand why I got quiet since he was asking what was wrong. I asked if he watched porn and he told me no.

Now I know he has watched porn but at the time I asked he told me no. For some context, he treats me so kind and well. Always taking care of me and is physically and emotionally attracted to me as I am him. I always feel desired by him but the specific porn makes me feel insecure and I’m comparing myself to the women he looks at.

My question is: is it really that bad to watch porn or him having specific porn he looks at(that doesn’t look like me)? I’m more hurt with the fact that he lied about doing it than that he does. Would me saying that porn for the both of us is a dealbreaker be too much? Bc obviously I’m not okay with it since I’m on here asking for advice or if it’s a big deal when my brain is making it huge.

I’ve been thinking about this lately.
You can meet someone and feel an instant connection. The conversations are effortless, the attraction is there, and everything feels almost too good to be true.
But as you grow older, you start noticing something.
Chemistry can make someone interesting. Consistency is what makes them trustworthy.
Someone checking on you without being reminded. Someone making time even when life gets busy. Someone whose actions don’t leave you constantly questioning where you stand.
I’m curious, though.
Was there a particular experience that changed the way you look at relationships?

this amazing guy and me had a great connection from day 1 and we spoke daily since the day we met and we had GREAT chemistry and attraction was on another level. We never established that we were boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that, but he assured me that he was not interested in anyone else multiple times and he was very present while we were together. We spoke for about two months. I knew he had this trip coming up to Florida, which was an East Coast tour from New York all the way to Florida where he’s making content, doing meetings and working on a software as well. Even before he went away on this trip, he started getting a little bit distant, but I’m really not sure if it’s because he lost interest or because the work is overwhelming. My last conversation with him was like hey babe I feel like you’ve been distant lately. Is everything OK? And he gave me an explanation saying he’s overwhelmed and facing constant challenges at work and that there are a lot of unknown variables between his trip and my divorce. Yes I am recently divorced but totally over that relationship. I got cheated on and more than willing to move on. I live alone and have zero feelings for my ex-husband. And I told him that multiple times. I told him also that I was looking for a serious relationship and not a casual person and he knows i have just 1 body and prior relationship so i fell for him even harder because of it. I told him that for me the most important thing is loyalty. He said let’s just take it slow and see where things go. I like you and I’m not talking to anybody else. Even the last convo that we had, he also said he’s not talking to anybody else or planning on it but that he’s just overwhelmed. I told him that I feel like this is a one-way relationship where I’m putting in all the effort because that’s how it felt the last few weeks while he’s been texting me less. And I also said I’m disappointed because we had Halloween plans coming up. The last thing he said to me is. “It’s not that I’ve meant to be in this situation, my life is very chaotic and I’m not saying those plans won’t happen if we still wanted to do that :( I have feelings for you” and I did not respond to this because it still felt like a rejection and him pulling away and giving excuses after i asked why hes been distant. thats the last time we spoke been exactly 1 week. But I definitely miss him and I love him so much and I want nothing but the best for him and for us to make a reunion. Ive been praying but i do need hope right now. Do you think that once he is back in New York he will reach out to me. My instinct is telling me that if a man pulls away after i ask why hes distant and stops talking to you for over a week since that convo that it means he’s no longer interested.

How to approach someone who is acting different around me?

I (18F) am in my final year of highschool. This guy (let's call him Zane) (17M) is in my grade, in my Math, History and Biology class.

I have known Zane since the beginning of last year, and while I wouldn't really consider us friends, we get along well and are similar people with similar attitudes etc.

We have only ever really interacted in class when necessary and he used to even become dismissive of me and be a little mean.

For context, Zane has a girlfriend and they have been together for about 1 year.

But the last few weeks things have been different. He has stopped talking to his 'cool' friends who smoke and tape etc, and starting hanging out with more academic people who are kinder. Instead of sitting with the cooler people, hes moved closer to me and another nice girl and we chat more often. And this time its all jokes and proper future conversations rather than mean comments which is nice. Hes also been giving me random stuff during class (e.g. keyring, food) for no reason.

During Ancient History today we did a quiz and he mouthed me the answers which I didnt need lol but nice gesture anyways.

During math today, I noticed him looking at me. He has been looking at me lately when he makes a joke and I think he looks to see if I react. But today he wasn't even talking, he was looking at me and had something between a smirk and smile going on on his face and didn't break eye contact.

Is he just starting to warm up to the idea of me being a friend rather than an acquaintance, is he judging me being chopped, or is something else going on?

Boys please give me advice on what to do. Do I just leave it or ask him wtf is happening?

Thanks in advance

Can someone please give me some advice because I genuinely don’t understand this man!!
Like, this guy literally leaves his house in the middle of the night and walks all the way to see me, just so he can talk to me. But then he tells me he came so late because he was sitting with his family before?? Of course I don’t mind him spending time with his family!! But he could’ve at least made some time for me in the morning, even if it was just 30 minutes, instead of leaving me until 3 AM. It just makes me feel like I was his last priority.
Okaay but this is the SAME guy who disappears on me.
The SAME guy who takes forever to reply.
And the SAME guy who always comes back and tells me he wants a serious relationship with me, like marriage and everything.
He also follows other girls. I told him I didn’t like it and asked him to stop, and he said okay, but he still hasn’t changed that.
But forget about the girls for a second.
One time, we agreed to meet up, and I literally sat there waiting for him. He never showed up. I texted him asking where he was, and he didn’t reply even though he was online. He only replied the NEXT DAY and told me he was busy!!!
HOW can the same guy tell me the next day that he wants to see me again, but then we can never find a day to meet because he is ALWAYS busy??? HE was the one who asked to see me in the first place!!
And then, when we finally meet, he comes to see me at 3 AM. But then tells me he took so long to come because he was with his family??
I’m honestly so confused about my feelings at this point. I don’t understand him at ALL.
Like, why would you go out of your way to come see me if you’re not interested? But if you ARE interested, why do you keep disappearing and coming back whenever you feel like it??
Every time I end things with him because I get tired of him disappearing, HE is the one who comes back and texts me. He tells me he wants this relationship, that he wants ME, and that he wants something serious.
And then I give him another chance because the truth is, I really do want him. I want things to work out with him so badly. I think I’m also attached to the version of him I have in my head, and I keep hoping he will be that person.
But I’m so tired of trying to understand him.
IS HE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN ME OR NOT???
Because some of his actions make me feel like he is, but then other things make me feel like he couldn’t care less.
Right now, I’ve left his message on delivered for a while, and he even sent me another snap, but I haven’t replied. I just don’t want to get stuck in the same cycle again or make him feel like he can have access to me whenever he wants.
But I also want to know if he genuinely cares about me or if he’s just coming back because he knows I’ll give him another chance.
Please be honest with me. What would you do in my situation? Do you think he actually likes me, or am I just wasting my time?
P.S. We have NEVER had sex, so please don’t say he’s only coming back for sex.

I'm looking for advice from people who have experienced a similar situation, particularly those who loved someone for years without ever officially dating them.

I met this woman in April 2021, and we became incredibly close. We talked constantly, sometimes for hours every day. There was a connection that felt like more than friendship to me, although we never officially defined our relationship.

In Aug 2021, another man entered her life. They became close, and she grew distant from me. Their connection eventually ended, or at least appeared to, and she and I became close again in Aug 2022. I don't know whether she and that man were officially together or whether they were sexually intimate. I only know that their connection seemed significant.

Over the following years, she and I developed a very close bond. We supported each other, spent time together, and shared experiences that meant a lot to me. I started imagining a future with her, potentially marriage.

Because of my personal and religious values, I was careful about physical intimacy and flirting. I wanted to preserve those boundaries for marriage. Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether my restraint made her think I wasn't interested in her romantically.

There were moments when I felt she was indirectly expressing interest in me, but I didn't always reciprocate. I believe we may both have been trying to win each other over without either of us being completely direct.

During this time, she also accepted attention and gifts from other men. As far as I know, those connections weren't as close as her connections with the first man and another man who entered her life later.

The second man and she became close enough to live together. Around February 2026, I stepped away from her life. At the time, I believed they were on good terms because she had recently moved in with him.

Again, I don't know whether they were officially a couple or whether they were sexually involved. I don't know the nature of their arrangement or what happened between them.

After I stepped away, she appeared to make some attempts to reconnect, but nothing was direct enough for me to understand what she wanted. I responded coldly to one of her attempts because I wanted something more meaningful than an indirect interaction. I recognize that I may have contributed to the distance between us.

I still love her deeply. I believe she may have feelings for me, too, but I could be wrong.

The biggest issue I'm struggling with is the possibility that she was sexually intimate with either of these men.

I have no proof that she was, and I don't want to assume anything based on how close they were or the fact that they lived together. But waiting until marriage is important to me, and I want a wife whose values around intimacy align with mine.

The thought that she may have been sexually involved with someone else while I was deliberately holding back because I imagined marrying her is painful. I understand that we were never officially together, and I am not suggesting she owed me exclusivity. She was free to make her own choices.

My struggle is whether I could reconcile the woman I love with a past that might conflict with my values. If I discovered that she had been sexually involved with either man, it would change how I saw her. Yet I know I would probably still love her and want to be with her.

I also don't know whether she still has feelings for me or whether I'm interpreting our history through the lens of my own hopes.

Part of me wants to contact her and finally have an honest conversation. Another part of me believes she should be the one to make a clear effort, especially because I feel I've spent years trying to understand what she wants.

I'm exhausted from wondering what happened, what she feels, and whether we could ever build a future together.

I'd particularly appreciate advice from people who have faced a similar conflict between loving someone and potentially discovering that their sexual history or values differ from yours.

1. Have you ever loved someone deeply while being uncertain about their sexual history? How did you handle the uncertainty?
2. If you discovered that someone you wanted to marry had been sexually intimate with other people before you, despite your own decision to wait until marriage, how did you decide whether you could accept that?
3. Did you eventually ask the person directly, and how did that conversation go?
4. Would you reach out to someone you still loved to seek clarity, or would you wait for them to approach you?
5. If you reconciled, were you able to rebuild trust and have a healthy relationship, or did the uncertainty continue to affect you?

I'm not looking for people to assume she is a bad person or tell me she definitely loves me. I want honest advice from people who have faced similar circumstances and can explain what they decided and how things turned out.

I still love her. I just don't know whether love is enough to build a marriage when I have so many unanswered questions.

Is it normal to sexualize women so much to the point that when a woman is seen on the street and is found sexy a man immediately fantasizes that he is in a sexual position with her and also doing it while your girlfriend/wife is next to you and also fantasizing the same way with your girlfriend/wife female friends?

I would specifically like to have a Mediterranean style climate but not in Europe, lets assume this would be a 6 months long honeymoon, for the Schengen visa from Canada, Europe would only give you 3 months at a time so I need another place other than these 3 months, I could go to Spain and Italy for the first part of the trip but then finish off on the same climate but not in Europe.

What I mean is a climate that is hot but not humid, Florida wouldnt be that good for instance, I don’t like humidity that much. Price kinda is a factor too, I don’t want to get in super expensive places that are made for the ultra rich.