30F Az looking for friendship, someone to talk to
I AM GAY AF, I love women and only women
Mascs, Studs, Butch, Stems, Fems … 💗💗💗

Hey Reddit lesbians I need advice. I am female 22 and the girl i love is also female 22. A year and half ago maybe even two years ago now i started working with the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. This was around the same time that I came out of the closet as a lesbian and had finally accepted my sexuality. I had been single, experimenting, working through therapy on all myself. I was Healing from family, SA, and work related trauma. I felt I was finally in a place to be able to show up for someone in my life in a romantic sense for the first time. Our start was rocky, she was coming out of a relationship from which she was emotionally and physically abused to my knowledge. I had gotten really hurt in the beginning of our talking stage due to the fact that she had told me that, that portion of her life was sown up and it turned out that it was in fact not. I took about two weeks to myself with no contact and when we revisited the conversation of starting fresh i was up for it. She told me she would be begin therapy (she did not end up going) and we began going out on dates limiting physical activity and trying to really get to know each other. Long story short we became official (we are 6 months officially in) , she moved to my city 5 minutes away from me and we interwove our lives. I got a new job so we no longer worked together and our relationship was rather getting along well. She was pushing my boundaries in areas, like when I needed space she was rather hard of understanding, and there were other aspects of our relationship where she was beginning to get toxic but overall i felt like it was us just learning how to be with one another. 3 days ago she nonchalantly dropped that the person she was dating before me was 23 and she was 18 when they had started dating. She also dropped that she was a victim of grooming at a much earlier age. My world came crashing down. I felt like everything I knew about this girl was nothing that I had thought that it was and all her behaviors started clicking together like puzzle pieces. I tried to ask further questions in the moment and she became defensive. I got frustrated because she told me that I had no right to know these things about her and that she was uncomfortable sharing more with me. I told her to go home and that space was needed. I think she had never really understood what happened to her and she was still rationalizing that she was the problem and not the victim of these horrible events. I tried to talk to her about it the following day and she was not able to have the conversation with me. I feel like the person I have grown to love is someone entirely different and she had kept most of herself from me. I broke up with her because I felt like she needed to work on herself without me. I felt like I was unable to be a healthy person by her side. I feel like I am so fragile and all the things I worked on all the sudden were a trigger. I don’t know what I feel. I don’t know what I did. I have a therapy session on Monday to help me sort out what happened but I feel like I made the worst mistake of my life. I was so excited for our beautiful life together

I can’t get stuck in a last minute plan where i’m a witch. Gimme some niche and creative suggestions

So me (26F) and my girlfriend (27F) have been together for almost 3 years. In these years, she’s had 3 separate jobs, each one for 3-4months and she has been fired from each of them for not passing her probation. I’ve had to back all of our bills for the remainder of the year. I’m starting to build up a lot of resentment over this as we live in a 2-person household and my job is NOT enough to pay for 2 people’s bills. Even while she has been working she hasn’t paid her full side of the bills almost ever. She also has undiagnosed ADHD, struggles to keep up with a routine and often spent large amounts on traveling to work and back in Ubers. She refuses to start taking medication. I just don’t know what to do, I’m so tired of being broke all the time and I feel guilty for being resentful. I used to work 6 days a week and we were a bit more fine then but had to change it to 5 because I mentally couldn’t do 45 hours. I also work in mental health so the work is already very tiring and I’m emotionally drained each night I come home. She wants to be able to work regularly and earn money, but struggles to manage in a world that’s not made for her. Sometimes I think of how much more comfortable I’d be off if I had to only pay for myself and I could actually save then, or splurge on things I want. But I have never even got the chance to do that. I also know I put myself in this position because I love her very much and don’t want to leave. I just feel extremely guilty and sometimes I just wish I could scream and say that I’m working 5 days a week for basically nothing as I’m not even going to get to keep most of that money, it’s just going to go on 2 people’s bills. It’s not fair. I don’t know what do anymore. I’ve tried to motivate her and explain to her how I feel, but it usually almost always ends in a big horrible argument or her feeling guilty and depressed for being in this position. I feel like I can never even get excited about her getting any new jobs anymore as I feel that once again, after the 3 month mark she’ll be unemployed for the remainder of the year. It feels hopeless and I’m starting to get depressed. Am I being selfish?

I live near a lesbian bar ( Henrietta Hudson in NYC ) and I am really curious but I have never been with women I am just a bit nervous... any tips for getting to know people. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

Hey, is it weird to be attracted to women who can communicate well? Like, I know it's important for relationships but for me it's like hot in the same way a short dress is.. I'm so into self-confident, loud women they're driving me crazy.

I'm an introvert, will I ever find someone who likes that lol. Like I love going out and meeting people but I'm not someone who talks all the time and am unfortunately attracted to people who do

Do extroverted lesbians usually look for similiar people?

She's so fucking pretty and I KNOW she's into women but my half passing ass has no chance but imma just enjoy the idea before I kill it

I'm a butch lesbian and hate how other masc lesbians can be so misogynistic. Was watching a TV show where a non-binary lesbian and they made a joke "that's why I have a wife so they can wrap for me" in a way that was clearly disparaging towards women. It makes me so sad and angry how it's a feature in our community but not much discussed

Hi lesbians, I'm a 29 years old lesbian and I never had a girlfriend, I met a feel nice girls during college but after I returned to my town I never met anyone who would match me and that's not a problem to me, I feel lonely sometimes but it's cool. The thing is, I was scrolling through twitter/x and I saw a girl saying that she would never date a woman +23 years old who never had a relationship because that means they're so unbearable and toxic, and if nobody ever wanted them it's because they're trouble, and a lot of other lesbians agreed. Do you guys agree with that? I mean, everyone is allowed to like whatever they want but put everyone inside of the same box is kinda problematic in my opinion.

So, this girl was into me a few years ago (same hobby meet up) but I didn’t like girls back then and found her super annoying (why was she always so close to me hahaha). turns out I’m a lesbian and thought I’d give it a shot.

we met up and hit it off instantly (first meetup together). it was like in the movies, stretched into late evening, we could’ve talked for ages (for the vibe see last question).

BUT I’ve just moved to another city that’s like 3 hours away. AND she’s just gotten out of a serious thing. Its not even just a relationship, it would’ve been nice to have her (genuinely) just as a friend, too. but I tend to idealise stuff and then chase after people who don’t want me as they don’t idealise the situation. she did wanna meet up again but is it even possible to have any kind of relationship with her? I’d obviously keep on living and date and keep it super low stakes

I’m genuinely confused by something I’ve noticed since moving to Seattle. I see posts FREQUENTLY from Seattle lesbians saying they’re lonely and want friends, but actually trying to make those connections feels so difficult.

I’ve personally reached out to Seattle sapphics who seemed interested in making friends, only for things to go cold or for the conversations to go nowhere. And it’s frustrating because I really do want to build a social circle here.

I don’t have family nearby, or friends or a partner, and I want actual in-person connections with people I can hang out with, talk to, and do things with. I’m not a party or nightlife person, so I’m not looking for that kind of social scene.

What I don’t understand is why it seems like there are so many lesbians in Seattle who want friends, but so many of us still struggle to find people who actually stick around.
Obviously, not everyone is going to click, and I understand that people have their own lives and things going on. But when you reach out to someone who says they want friends and they end up getting distant, it makes you wonder what the disconnect is.

Do people get nervous when it comes to actually meeting up? Is it hard for introverts to take that next step? Do people want friends but not realize how much effort it takes to build and maintain those relationships??
I’m not expecting everyone to become best friends overnight. I just want to understand why finding people who genuinely want to connect and consistently make an effort seems so difficult when there are so many people looking for the same thing.

Has anyone else experienced this with Seattle lesbians? I’d genuinely like to hear other people’s experiences and understand why this keeps happening.

Well the title says it all but I'm gonna give you some more details and context.

For the sake of the story, I'm gonna call her Evie.

We met on our first year as students in an art school and we became friends almost immediately, and we even discovered that our hometowns were super close to eachother and that we rode the same bus to go back to our parent's houses each week and also on the way back.

At the time, I was in a 2 years relationship with my first real girlfriend, but she broke up with me one month after I met Evie.

As any respectable lesbian breakup (jk) it was quite messy and we were talking on and off for 5 months after.

She told me in one of our conversations that, when she first met Evie, she thought I would have a crush on her eventually and that she already had a crush on me.

I laughed it off, but weeks later I dreamt of Evie and I kissing, like, kissing for real.

But I kinda dismissed it as just a dream heavily influenced by my day to day life because Evie and I are ALWAYS joking about being together/in love with eachother and fake kissing eachother all the time.

We started it BECAUSE of my ex because we thought that the fact she thought Evie and I were in love was so funny.

During the summer holidays this year, we barely had any contact, which made me feel weird because we were so close all year long and she was a HUGE help for me to go through my breakup.

She even was my plus one at a friend's birthday that my ex was attending at which I got way too drunk and I started to hug her non stop, but apparently, I was also flirting with my ex at the same time??

Now that you have all the looore, I'm wondering if I have real romantic feelings for her since the beginning of this week, because, as we do, we fake kissed but thus time was different.

I was sat and she was standing up near me, I lifted up my face to her and pretended to kiss her and she leaned down pretending to kiss me too.

The only thing is, I had my eyes closed and I didn't move at all so she got way closer than usual and her hair brushed against my face.

I was pretty fluttered but we laughed and joked about it later.

I didn't expect it to, but it kinda stuck with me and now I'm not sure what I feel for her

What do you think ?

i'm 20 and need more wlw friends i can hang out with

Would love to meet a girl 18-22

Hi, I (18F) and my gf (18F) My gf and I have been dating for almost 3 months and we’re both virgins. We’ve talked about having sex soon as shes touched my boobs and things and its getting to the point thats not enough and we’re both down and we are also both fem i would say maybe vers, but neither of us really knows what we’re doing. Every time we get close I start panicking and chicken out by like taking her hand away from my thighs over clothes and things as im worried about the practical stuff like positions, how long its supposed to last, if its supposed to hurt, all of it. She’s just as clueless as me so we can’t even laugh about it properly. Any other baby gays who had their first time with another firsttimer? How did you figure it out without making it weird? And any tips for us?

So I've recently got together with my gf and everything is honestly going great, but when it came to physical intimacy, there were some issues. Before me, she only dated guys (she outed herself as bi to me), so I'm her first lesbian relatiomship. Whenever we would get intimate, she seemed insecure. We talked about it, and after a lot of pushing her she admitted she was probably straight in the sexual sense, but biromantic still. She only realised this while dating me. On the other hand, she did say she enjoyed fingering me and all the other stuff leading up to it (making out, me touching other parts of her than genitals). I love her so much and I want ti make this work but I just don't know how to go about this or if its worth even continuing (in my head it definitely is just because I cant fathom to lose her but am I hurting myself here?). Any advice is appreciated.

Hi everyone i'm making this post because i have noone to share this with and so i thought maybe i could do it here. Disclaimer english is not my first language.

So i (22F) started talking with this girl (22F) on a dating app. We have been texting for a few days and i felt some really good vibes from our converstations so we agreed to have a date on saturday. I'm kind of a hopless romantic delusional person so i had my hopes high up i felt really positive about it i never felt this positive about another girl on a dating app. I even considered to buy a flower or a fortune cookie for the date so i was really hyped up i even planned my outfit.... Until i got a message from her in which she told me that things started to get serious with another woman and she cancelled the date and whished me the best.

I'm glad she didn't ghosted me but i feel heartbroken, i was super excited and for what?

I know that i have problems when it comes to getting attached to people and imagine future scenarios but still it hurts. It came out of nowhere and i don't think it should hurt this much.

I just want to have a girlfriend who i can share all my firsts with and have a deep connection where we can communicate without using words and you know what i'm talking about...

I also have another date with this other woman and i'm exctied about that as well i guess i'll see how it goes

Thank you for reading my nonsense and fail in the online dating world

Also i'm living in budapest so if you're also living here feel free to connect cause i'm lacking queer friendships as well. I would love to join a queer firendship or community.

For context I will describe my appearance. A classmate told me before that I look like a doll, when they saw me in the hallways before when they didn't know me yet. People would always tell me I look a lot younger than my age and would always tell me I'm cute. They would also never really take me seriously even when angry cause my voice doesn't sound scary at all. With this I think I have a soft facial and voice. My style is idk I don't like to label myself as a masc or fem. I like to look cool or sometimes cutesy depending on my mood.

But is that attractive to girls? Most of the people who are interested in me that I know of are boys—the weird kind who stalks you and is a pervert—and never girls. What I observed online is that girls find it attractive when they have strong features. Majority seem to like cool looking or those androgynous kind. Or they like the breathtaking goddess/baddie kind. I'm neither, boys are the only ones that seem to be attracted to me and I hate it.

As the title says I wanna be able to princess carry my gf. I can piggyback carry her for a while, I just can’t get princess carry down and I know it’d mean a lot to the both of us for me to be able to do it. Any recommendations? She weighs around 170 lbs but I have chronic pain and sometimes my body doesn’t work the way I want it to so I’d like to be able to carry 200 lbs. Any and all suggestions are helpful

I wasn't sure if this would count as NSFW so I just marked it that way to be safe.

So yesterday my girlfriend came over and we were having sex and my nail sort of scratched her and we stopped and i just started crying and saying I was sorry over and over again. I'm not sure if it was because of how vulnerable I felt or because I hurt her or something else entirely but I'm genuinely so embarrassed. If anyone has any other ideas as to why I might have done that please let me know but I mostly just wanted to tell someone about it.

I’m so fucking disturbed. I was working out and this visibly masc lesbian came up to me, telling me “has anyone ever told you, you look like krysten ritter?” I had one of my airpods in but, I think I was speaking at normal volume like how I usually do. She fucking proceeded to tell me word for word “lower your voice” I couldn’t control my face, I was DISTURBED. Then she was said “I was just joking” heh yeah! Anyway she continued to talk to me and ask me a bunch of personal questions like, “how long have you been training?”, “what’s your name?”, “how old are you?”, “what’s ur family name? (I’m middle eastern, it’s a normal question to ask)”. Anyway I was playing along cause frankly this is the most action I’ve gotten in a while. But now after thinking about it, I’m disgusted. Because what do you mean you come hit on me and then PROCEED to tell me to lower my voice. Ew wtf!! Am I overreacting?