And I don’t even feel hate, just love and overwhelming feeling of loss

What I messaged my ex this morning.

“I stayed because I felt like I owed you; for the times you were present, and for the times that i wasn't. for the times you left your heart on the table, and i left my words standing by the front door. for the times you dived deep to reach me, and i allowed myself to drown. i stayed because my thoughts held me hostage, while guilt stared me down and told me i was wrong for even considering letting go. i stayed because the time and energy we put into our connection is something we could never get back, and what kind of person would i be to let something good go to waste? but did we have something good? or did we just pretend as if we did? if everything was as rosy as we painted it to be, then why did i feel so disconnected from you? why did i feel so disconnected from “us"? but staying because you feel indebted to someone defeats the purpose doesn't it? how are you repaying the faith someone has in you by staying where you don't want to be? how are you repaying the love someone has for you by overstaying where you've outgrown? how selfish it was of me to keep dangling the possibility of forever in your face. how selfish it was of me to stay in a space where I knew I could never reciprocate fully. how selfish i was to myself, for betraying my truth and turning my back on me. i guess, sympathy has a way of jading your judgement and maybe i had been sympathetic for way too long. i stayed because i felt like i owed you, but maybe the only thing that owed myself was the happiness you never gave me”

I opened up, became vulnerable, shared how I grew up with unavailable parents and my loneliness and he called me annoying. I have been crying for the past 3 hours while he abandoned me and fell asleep.

I don’t understand what happened last year

Do whatever is best for you

Love yourself

Value yourself

I don’t understand the mixed messages

Feel your feelings

so this guy and i have been texting back and forth on instagram for maybe like 2 or so months now. we've only met twice i think those were dates. i had a lot of fun during those times and he said he did too... i might've been a little awkward at the time tho.

but he's been pretty cold these past few days. our last date was 4 days ago and we weren't really talking much after that.

should i give him space and not reach out for a while? could he just be busy? i really like him and i want to get to know him more but he's such a busy person but im willing to wait for him. i just want to know if it's even worth waiting and pursuing if he's just uninterested. i wouldn't want to accidentally pressure him too. im actually tweaking because of this but im doing everything to not let it take up all of my headspace. im feeling so deeply about all this omg. pls can it just be him?

edit: he's the best. he is so cute and is so kind the whole time we were together. i might've messed things up by being awkward and i want to make it up to him but he's not really communicating much.

remember that there was a time when all I wanted was for that someone to be you. I imagined a future with your name in it. I stayed through the uncertainty, convinced that if I loved you a little longer, a little harder, one day you'd love me the same way. But that day never came.

So if one day you see another person holding my hand, making me feel safe, loving me the way I begged to be loved, don't think they were luckier than you. They simply gave me what I spent so long hoping you would. The hardest part is that even then, a part of me will remember that before I ever dreamed of being loved by them. I spent countless nights praying that it would still be you.

I don't think I need to explain. It's been 2 years since we broke up and it still fucking hurts.

I was seeing a girl at the beginning of the year and everything was super fun, light, natural, and sex was good as well. We never officially dated at any point but she broke things off with me on month 4 of seeing each other. I was sad but I moved on and respected her decision.

A month later she reached back out to me saying she was confused and that she wanted to see me and have a chat. We end up sleeping together 2 weekends in a row and at this point I’m quite confused but since I’m layed back I was going with the flow.

Over the summer we texted a bunch and I even tried to see her 2-3 times which she supposedly was excited about. Every time we had a an opportunity some random excuse always came up. At that point I started to suspect something and took my distance.

Summer ends and she writes to me again and so we go out for a drink and we end up dancing, kissing, on multiple occasions. I kept trying to take her home and she denied me for unknown reasons. She later confirmed that she had been seeing someone over the summer and never knew how to tell me.

I was so hurt and the fact that she could have just told me about this guy and I would have let her go in peace. I was so frustrated about it but it’s also my fault. Fast forward to now she wants to just be friends with benefits and I also would like that but don’t know if I can separate my feelings for her. I don’t know what to do at this point and I feel broken inside. Need advice!

Yeah, you read the title correctly. And not only that, she also claimed to have put my moms phone number with it as well.

Now, I dont know i how far this is true or just a broad statement to make me "scared" (wich it doesn't) or if it's actually true.

For a little bit of more context here, my ex and I know a friend who recently turned 18. When she was still 17 years old, she showed her my nudes basically without me knowing and without my consent.

There's multiple things I can do here. I can either just let it slide and not care at all. I could actually leak nudes of her online or I could go to the police and say what happened, although police is not gonna do much about it (cause dutch police suck and they only do something when things either escalate or its really really bad).

If you guys have any advice, it's always welcome and this is also to just share my thought behind it

f(22) was seeing a m(24) since august. 2 months together we talked everyday and every night despite our busy schedules. he travelled thru cities to see me and meet me for the first time as we met online. we met again a second and third time. when we met the second time it was clear we are gonna get married. throughout the interactions we never really rushed. we started out as friends for to know each other and caught really deep feelings for each other. by the end we were truly in love. the last time i saw him a few days ago(he said i love you the first time to my face and it was a really vulnerable and special moment), after that day when i saw him we had a little conversation about his job and my studies and kids. and turns out we are incompatible bcz his job requires switching places and my study course would require me to stay at one place for 3-4 years. i told him i don’t want to have kids till late twenties(28/29/30). he said that would be a problem bcz he wants to become a dad and doesn’t want to have kids so later in life. we were on call with each other when he mentioned kids again and i told him i dont mind having kids but most of the responsibly that comes with them would be on me while i would be doing my course and he would be moving around places. and if he wants that he would have to take majority of responsibilities of raising them. then he said ‘this wont work’ and he was really clear about it and i understood what he meant there was no point in protesting. call done i texted him to clarify and he said he doesn’t want either of us to compromise and he loves me dearly yet it is what it is . i didnt say anything. i told him to never contact me again bcz i was sad and angry. we haven’t talked in two days and i dont think we will ever be talking again. us, me and him, the love we had and have is real, i thought the worst way that we could stop pursuing each other would be if we lose feelings or one of us dies and i never say this coming. i feel so hurt bcz this is the first guy i have truly loved and ive been in love with. for him im probably not the first girl. i just feel really angry and sad at how he could just leave like that and how he judged me and decided im not worth it. i’m coming to the conclusion that he loves the idea of becoming a father more than he loves me and im just not worth it despite the love. for me i dont know how to exist anymore bcz he got entangled in my life so deeply everywhere i see i see reminders of him and i dont know if i can ever remove him from my life and i at the same time dont want to remove him bcz that would just be the eternal end and i dont want to live a life where he doesn’t exist. i cant stop crying since 2 days.
if anyone has any advice or thoughts on this pls lmk!!

tldr/summary: m(24) and f(22) deeply and truly in love but he gave up on me bcz i do not want kids till late twenties

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M20 need someone to talk

I was in an on-and-off long distance relationship with a guy for 4 years. He never gave me the proper commitment I wanted, but he would come back into my life and give me hope but never commitment even after I blocked him many times.

The last time he came back in 2025, he told me he regretted losing me and wanted me in his life. He loves me and wants to marry me and I'm his last girl. I trusted him again. But there were fights 2-3 times regarding previous hurt he had caused me followed by me blocking him and then unblocking him again and then we started talking normally.

However, once, when I asked him for help with a college assignment, he didn't want to help. I felt hurt and stopped talking to him for a week, but eventually, I reached out to him again. This time, he ghosted me permanently.

Around 3–4 months later, he got into a new relationship, and now it's been a year. From what I can see, their relationship seems to be going well.

I'm struggling to digest the fact that he couldn't give me the commitment I wanted for years, yet he seems to be making things work with someone else. People told me that he would eventually come back, that his new relationship wouldn't last, and that he would repeat the same behaviour with his new girlfriend. But he hasn't come back, and their relationship is still going. He has deleted my number.

Now I'm starting to wonder whether I was the problem. If he can be in a seemingly stable relationship with someone else, does that mean I was the problem? Why hasn't his karma hit him?

When we started, everything was intense and new and exciting for both of us. But as time went on, the more she questioned my genuine love. I never tried to change her, I only supported whatever she decided she wanted to do. But she instead over and over that she couldn't meet my level of love. And the more inadequate she felt, the more she started to pull away, and the more she pulled away the more argued. Till finally she found her excuse to leave and she ended the relationship, I didn't chase.

She came back 3 days later and we were back in a state where she had all the power to decide where we go in a relationship cause that's what made her feel comfortable. Yet she wasn't. We made it one more year before she texted me in the middle of the night saying that she couldn't do "this" anymore. Saying we were going in two separate ways. That she wasn't happy, she couldn't be in a relationship right now cause she herself feels lost.funny enough the day before we were planning a Disney trip saying how happy she was and that she couldn't wait.

11 days later she messaged me asking me to help her sister. She said I was the only one she trusted. And soon she kinda just found her way back. We decided to stay friends. But that friendship resembled a deep relationship to anyone else who saw it from the outside. But since we weren't a "couple" she started dating right away. Which was funny cause she said she didn't want a relationship for a while.

About 1 month ago, after spending everyday together, she comes out saying she had been seeing someone and that she thought being friends couldn't be because of our bond/past relationships history. I was completely blindsided. The day before this we were planning a family trip with her mom, two sisters and one of their boyfriends.

I gave her a shoulder to lean on in tough times, I gave her the energy and financial help she needed at times. I was there when no one else was and I myself didn't have much to give but l showed up. I gave her all my respect. So how is it that one human can do this to another human when you tell them day in and day out for 5 years, "you and I are for life no matter what"? How can you make people feel so safe and then pull the rug from under them twice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years. And I think it is ending. (we are talking about it in a few days).

He is my favourite person in the world, the only person I want to hang out with, the only person I feel like talking to, the only person I have fun with, the only person I want to share my life with. Last year he broke my trust and did some shady things (could be emotional infidelity but I had no concrete proof). I know I should have broken up with him (I actually did but we got back together quickly after), but I chose to give him a second chance, given our otherwordly connection and how unlikely it is to meet someone like this.

A relationship with no trust is not easy at all, but we chose to be together and continue working on each other, we worked so hard! I recently found something shady from the original ordeal last year and I left again... We had been trying so hard though! We had made such improvements and were doing so much better (in regards to trust, and arguments)... I genuinely don't believe he was being unfaithful anytime recently, but the suspicion and doubt is there, which makes it so hard to stay together.

I have spent my whole life searching for someone I connect with, searching for MY person. I had a childhood bestfriend that I had the same connection with (albeit not romantic), and that ended. My current two best friends, one had been growing distant, and after doing something hurtful to me, she told me she had actually resented me for years and had many issues with "traits of my character". The other one we just don't have anything in common anymore, she drinks all the time, is very career focussed and doesn't really engage in conversation with me (nothing wrong with any of this) (it is strange because we used to talk for hours and hours about random stuff, I would still love this but I think we have just grown apart). My mum has dementia and a lot of the care falls on me as her daughter (I'm 23). I have a dead end job at a supermarket where I work until midnight on most days (it has its perks, we get a lot of free food, and I love cooking so it works for me for now). Anyway this was just to show how alone I am now. I have been so alone for so long. My life feels so colourless, I just want community to share it with. My boyfriend was/is my whole world. We loved each other, and found happiness and comfort and life in each other. We have the same interests, same sense of humour, same style, same general opinions, same outlook on life, we hold each other up and support one another.

I have been trying to make new friends for the past couple of months but it is so tough... no one compares to him... I know that logically someone who loves me the way I love them wouldnt break my trust the way my boyfriend did, but my life is so painful and sad at the moment that I can't bear to be alone.....

I'm the type of person to dedicate myself to my partner/best friends. They become my lifeline and where I get happiness from. I know that's probably not healthy. But really being alone is so so boring and lame. Why should be okay with my own company when I am meant to be in a community? Why should I be forced to be alone when community is what makes me happy? I just want my person man, I just want to be surrounded by people that love me for who I am, that love the same things as me, that want to talk often and stay updated with each other and dont just catch up every few months...

PPL OF REDDIT,

I would welcome any advice! I broke up with my long term gf that I genuinely thought I will marry one day. None of us was at the right space when we fell in love but it just happened. We used to fight a lot but tried to make it work. I caught her lying to me about smoking weed and I gave her one last chance (even though I had given her multiple chances before that) because she promised she changed. She fucked up. Now it's been half a year and I have been struggling to move on. She is trying her best to fix things and wants us to get back together but I don't know if I will ever trust her again. How do I know it's time to stop giving her a chance?

There has been something on my mind lately. If there's anything I wish we could talk more about its the in between stages of letting someone go, because nobody lets go in an instant. You let go once, then you let go again, and then again and again and again.

You let someone go at the grocery store when their favorite type of soup is on sale and you don't buy it. You let them go again when you're cleaning your bathroom and have to throw out the bottle of the body wash that smells like them. You let them go when their favourite candy is running low, but you don’t care to refill the jar. You let them go when you stop thinking of what you could do to make their day better. You let them go that night at the bar when you go home with somebody else or you let them go every year on the anniversary of the day you lost them.

Some times you're going to have to let one person go a thousand different times, a thousand different ways, and there's nothing pathetic or abnormal about that. We are human and it isnt always as simple as making one decision and never looking back

Moving on isn't always about speeding enthusiastically forward so much as it’s about having one foot on the gas and the other on the brakes - releasing and accelerating in turn. It’s two steps forward but that occasional one step back. When you’re sitting at a table trying to enjoy your evening and suddenly you start wondering about who you lost.

You're not a failure for getting to some place amazing and still feeling like a part of yourself is missing once you get there. You're not pathetic for mourning while you grow. The bad things don't disappear in the blink of an eye and the good things dont spring up into existence without reigning at least a tiny bit of collateral damage. It takes time for everything to even out and it should.

So whoever this resonates with, please know you are not alone. You have come a long ways, there’s still a ways to go but you will get through. You always do

when i finally opened up to her about the feelings i’d been bottling up for years, instead of comforting me, she started talking about someone else she loves. and honestly, what hurts the most is that i’ve loved her for years and given her so much of my time and energy, only for her to fall for a girl she met not that long ago. i know i can’t control who she loves or how she feels, and i don’t blame her for that, but it still hurts like hell. it’s heartbreaking to realize that someone i’ve loved for so long has fallen for someone else so easily, while i’ve been carrying these feelings for years. i know she doesn’t owe me the same feelings, but that doesn’t make any of this hurt any less.

what’s the reasoning behind talking to other girls so soon after a breakup? and why do some of you start following or looking at other girls online almost immediately after ending a relationship? is it a way to distract yourselves, boost your ego, get over your ex, or is it simply because you’re ready to move on?