This is a very short encounter but it still hurts.

He (M) just got from a 12-year relationship (his ex cheated) and met me (M) 4 months later. I pursued him before knowing about his relationship history. We've been talking for 3 weeks, and it was really great. We live 7 hours apart, so I met him the first time when I visited his city. We have a lot of common interests, we never leave each other on read or left on delivered for many hours. We had great banter and we were also planning on attending concerts and out of town trips. I visited him once again and we were together for 2 days. Our physical interactions were also great. Everything seemed to flow perfectly.

But during the time I visited him, I can see his eyes were a bit sad even when he was laughing or smiling. He showed vulnerability about his breakup and his life. He said he still has hang-ups and is struggling to find back his spark and excitement about things. I 100% understand what he was going through because I've been there before.

We continued talking for a week after I re-visited him. Then he said he was feeling down and would be taking some time off. I respected that. One day later, we got back to talking then announced that he suddenly left his job (his ex was in the same company). We continued talking for the next few days. Then suddenly, he texted me that he wants to stop talking anymore because he's getting overwhelmed (he's also talking to another guy). He said he doesn't want to talk to anyone for now.

I respected his decision and wished him well. I offered him an open door, in case he wants to reconnect in the future. He thanked me for my kindness and help. I did not try to change his mind, even if I really wanted to. I feel hurt and disappointed but no anger or resentment towards him. He's a great guy.

We're in no-contact right now (been a week) but it's mostly because I respect his boundaries. I'm dying to message him, but it's taking every inch of effort from me to stop myself from doing so. I have this hope lingering in the back of my mind saying we might reconnect in the future, given that we have a very good dynamics and respectful communication, even though the timing was terrible.

I just wanna share this. Thank you for reading.

Hello guys, first time here.

I don't think I'm gonna open up to you incredible people and share my whole story and feelings right now, but I do want some advice.

Even though my ex (26F) broke up with me (27M) a week ago, she has let me text and call her so I can try to understand things and heal. She doesn't want me in her life anymore, but I'm still in a situation where I want to be with her (she was talking about marriage just a month ago).

Last night, we had a phone call that lasted about an hour so we could try to find some closure. Near the end of the call I said: "One day, if you feel like we could be together again, my door will always be op..." She cut me off in the middle of the sentence and told me that if I brought up that subject again, she would need to block me.

Of course, I backed off pretty quickly, but now I'm afraid of how I'm going to approach her in the future about reconciliation without constantly worrying about getting blocked if I bring it up again.

For context, we've been together for over 4 years now. We have very differing political views, she's much more emotional whenever we've talked about politics. Along with that, we tend to argue quite often. I'll admit, I'm not perfect. There's many times where I've gotten her upset or fired up, but I try my best to be a good partner to her. Another issue is my friends, they don't really like her (they thought she was too disrespectful and rude towards me) and have stated that later in our relationship and she doesn't like them at this point either. It's been hard for me to accept for a while but I eventually did. She's got anger issues and I've been trying to be good with dealing with that but it feels very draining. It just seems like for the last year or two that we go back and forth on a lot, almost like I say black, she says white. Honestly, I'm not really sure if it'll work out. I love her, but I can't ignore how I feel. I also don't want to resent her over these feelings and vice versa. What should I do?

After our breakup, someone sent me a screenshot of my ex’s secret account. He had been presenting himself as single and flirting with men while we were still together. There were posts, conversations, and even pictures that I had never seen before.
The part that messed me up wasn’t him being attracted to men. It was realizing he had hidden an entire side of his life from me while letting me believe I knew him better than anyone.
Now I’m questioning how much of our relationship was actually honest. Would you confront him for the lies or would you just expose the account and move on?

For backstory, she ended our often turbulent five-year relationship five months ago. We had lived together for four of those years. This took place through a majority of my 20’s

I was surprised by the feeling I would get waking up in the morning and realizing again that she wouldn’t be in the bed next to me. Coming home from work to what used to be a cute, cozy place to call home, mainly thanks to her taste and contributions, now felt stripped of the parts that used to make it ours. I was reminded daily that she wasn’t coming home. This wasn’t her home any longer. This wasn’t our home anymore. This was a four-walled box that I would survive in for the remainder of our lease.

The ghost doesn’t slam doors or rearrange furniture. It just sits in the places she used to occupy and waits for me to notice.

Our precious feline boy, the one we adopted in the adolescence of our relationship, was now just my pet. We both adored him and bonded over him for years. I underestimated the pain this would cause. Yes, I know he’s just a cat, but he has been a painful reminder of what we used to be. Every time he curls into the spot on the couch that used to be hers, I have to decide whether to look away or let it hurt. He was never just a pet. I’ve realized he was the living proof that we once built something small and ordinary and good together. He still looks for her in the places she used to sit. I catch myself doing the same.

I could feel it in my bones. All of the years of routine and shared memories were reaching their conclusion. Every day from here on out would look different.

The last time I received a text from her was four months ago. She said she would let me know when she was ready and able to see me again. This was in response to me suggesting we catch up for a drink. In hindsight, it was too early, but I was cautiously optimistic. It’s been radio silence ever since. I’ve reached out a few times since then, but I’ve tried to be intentional about not hurting her further. I want her to have the space she deserves and needs.

Only recently have I noticed I’ve been blocked on one or two outlets, but not everything. Being partially blocked feels like standing in a hallway with half the lights still on. It hurts to not hear anything from her. It makes me feel so insignificant sometimes. Like maybe she never really was that serious about us. Maybe the hurtful words I would sometimes hear were true. Maybe I was a waste of time. As much as it would probably hurt, I just wish I could hear from her. Even if it were to tell me how far she’s moved on. Even if it was just to say goodbye.

That kiss we shared the last time we saw each other will sit with me for a while. The final time we were in the same place, we were standing in the doorway of our old apartment. Before I left, you ran up to me and hugged me tightly. The memory of you kissing me for the last time hurts, but I still hold it close.

It’s not the place, nor is it all of my information to divulge, but know that I am aware of the toxic behaviors that lived within the foundation of our relationship. We both caused each other undeserved pain. It’s not like it doesn’t make sense to me why we separated. What I wasn’t expecting is how I’d feel when you strip away the fighting, the miscommunication, and the anger. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. Shouldn’t I hate her? It’s not like there isn’t a laundry list of memories that would make it entirely justifiable to walk away from one another. But I didn’t. I was left with love, respect, and the failed opportunity to truly make the woman I loved feel as amazing as I think she is.

I expected bitterness to arrive like a second guest. It never did. What stayed instead was quieter and harder to live with.

This breakup has been an interesting study for me. It feels natural to compare this heartbreak to other breakups from my past. It’s been interesting to feel the lack of anger or negativity. I just really miss her. The pain I feel is the pain that she may never know just how much I care that she exists. She’s still my favorite person. Stripped of the fighting and the miscommunication, what remains is simply that I still care that she exists. I can hold the reasons it ended in one hand and the fact that I still love the person she was in the other. Both are true. Neither cancels the other out.

I’ve all but forgotten what it’s like to have her next to me. What her voice sounds like. The laughs that would pour out of her after an inside joke. The dictionary’s worth of phrases and made-up words that formed the language only we knew. No one else will ever speak it. I miss her flaws. I long for the days of waking up early on a Saturday morning just to put on a pot of coffee and cuddle up to binge-watch our favorite trashy reality TV. You once told me while we were out on a walk that I would look back and miss the little pet peeves I once had. Like when you would just stop in the middle of the road to capture the perfect sunset picture. Who knew it might be one of our last.

I miss peeling her orange. The small, unnecessary kindnesses. There are still mornings when I reach for the second mug before I catch myself. I don’t know if she hates me, misses me, or if we’ll ever see each other again. Maybe all of the above. I’ve had a lot of practice with the concept of more than one thing being true at the same time.

I’m currently five months post-breakup. Our fur baby and I reside in a cute apartment that I’ve tried to make feel like home. I’ve focused on getting back to my roots, what made me who I was when I first met her. I practice kindness and try to be careful of what I put out into the world. I’ve been spending more time with friends and putting a respectful amount of effort into my health and wellness.

I carry the loss the way some people carry a photograph in a wallet. Always there, rarely taken out, impossible to throw away.

The anxiety has evened out. I know I’ll be okay, although there are still really hard moments. My head is hardwired to not know another way other than making it through. It’s what I’ve been good at my whole life. It feels like I was made to endure. I see her when I close my eyes, and I smile through the tears. Not because it feels good, but because it still feels true. I’m not waiting for her. I’m just still learning how to stop looking for her in rooms she no longer enters, with the wish that the last time we saw each other wasn’t our last.

The porch light in my heart for her will never be off.

TLDR: No anger. Just the ghost of a five-year relationship, a cat who hasn’t forgotten her spot, and a light I can’t bring myself to switch off.

After a month of no contact, my ex video called me few days ago and I didn’t answer. After a few minutes, he txted asking whether I wanted to have a talk and called me again.

In the end, I didnt answer any of his calls or messages for 3 days and answered asking what he wanted to talk about.

However, ever since I replied, he has not been reading my messages for a week now.

I know he was drunk / tipsy when he called so could it be that he just regrets reaching out and is scared to reply back?

I want to call him and ask again but what should I do? Why did he reach out in the first place?

He was the one who broke up with me.

Does anyone else struggle with overthinking of every small regret or little thing you wish you did better in the relationship, even if they weren’t cited as a reason for it? My partner blindsided me after five years together. My mind automatically goes to every minor thing I regret. The things I’m talking about weren’t mentioned during the breakup. I’m talking about really small incidents over the years but I can’t help but think of it all.

My mother said something that did help. She said that nobody is perfect and your partner knows there are things about you they may not love, but they choose to accept it as part of your personality because they love you.

Edit to add this is absolutely NOT about anything like infidelity, lying, abuse, etc.

We picked our stars before the snow,

A matching sky, a matching glow.

Two pictures saved for winter's embrace,

Two borrowed stars in a shared little space.

But winter passed us by somehow,

And we are strangers to each other now.

The pictures stayed; the promise flew—

We never wore the sky we chose as two.

[In the context of us aspiring to match these PFPs when winter came. Goodbye to a lifelong relationship (from childhood bestfriends to lovers to eternal seperation)]

I am 27 F and i met this man at work 30 M and early this year he approached me after we both got out of our previous relationships. He proposed me marriage and said he wants something long-term when I had made it clear I don't do casual relationships. There was this female friend 31 F of his that would keep popping up in his phone and he told me it is his uncle's daughter.

This guy and me dated for 5 months until he started treating me horribly and stopped showing up since past 1 month. He kept abusing me and would hide things until I saw his picture with the woman. He immediately deleted the picture and blocked me everywhere. I contacted 2 of his friends and they showed me his pfp with his fiance.

Turns out this woman 31 F was waiting all this while since 4 years on the side until he dates and dumps his own girlfriends and she gets to play the winner and marry him at the end. She manipulated him into hating most of the girls he dated including me and turns out they got enaged while he was approaching me.

This is disturbing me a lot and I am feeling immenselt used and exploited.

It’s been almost five months since he broke up with me. I sent him a message that day thanking him for everything, but we’ve been in no contact ever since.

As time went by, my memories of him started to fade a little, and I stopped feeling like I absolutely had to get back together with him.
But I still found myself overthinking things, wondering what he was up to, and not wanting him to date or see anyone else. I guess part of me was still holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance for us. (I even booked a therapy session to work through all of this.)

But here’s the weird part. Since yesterday, I’ve suddenly felt so much lighter, like something just clicked and I finally made peace with everything. And literally nothing happened to trigger it. It just came out of nowhere.
Even so, I still want to tell him how much I’ve learned about myself over these past five months and how grateful I am for everything.
This whole experience has helped me understand myself on a much deeper level, and part of me really wants to see him and have a conversation as the person I am now.

Ultimately, I’d love for us to be on good terms and be able to talk casually, like friends, because he’s still someone I care about and value as a person.
Is that weird?

2 months ago we 36f and 36m broke up. After almost 2 years. He asked me not to call or text him ever again and so I have not.

Tonight I wished his dad happy birthday! We had a nice, short conversation and the dad asked how I am. I was caught off guard by that, I expected just a “thanks” if anything.

Now I’m worried my ex would be mad? Am I out of line to speak to my ex’s family?

For those of you who are currently friends with your ex, what is your experience like? How is it going? How did you guys agree to become friends? Have you guys caught feelings all over again and started dating again?

For those of you who refuse go be friends with an ex, what is the reason why? Is it because you still have underlying feelings? Is it because the you haven’t moved on and won’t ever move on? How is it like keeping them at a distance instead of being close?

Share your story!❤️

We were together for six years. We first broke up in August 2025, got back together a few months later, and ended things for good in April 2026. By the end, our relationship had become unhealthy and full of fighting. I understand why it ended, but I still love him and think about him constantly.

We were both in healthcare he’s a nurse, and I’m a phlebotomist studying radiology and we wanted similar things. I pictured us building a life together. We haven’t had a real conversation in months, the longest we’ve ever gone without talking. My friends and family thought breaking up was for the best, but I still wonder if I made a mistake. It feels like grieving someone who’s alive and out there living a life I’m no longer part of.

I started a radiology program and keep wishing I could tell him about it. I also dated someone for about three months. I really enjoyed his company, but I didn’t feel the deep connection I had with my ex. I’ve only been in love once, and I’m scared I won’t feel that way again.

Has anyone felt this stuck and eventually moved on? What helped? Does it get easier?

We were together for most of college.

She was the first person I felt I could be truly myself around and talk about whatever I wanted.

The first person whom I didn’t have to fake shared enthusiasm with. Like whatever she liked: cooking, places, spoons, games, she’d just get so excited and it was fucking infectious. I felt so comfortable, so happy just cuddling with her.

But she was leaving to go to grad school, and I had sexual insecurities that persisted throughout our relationship, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted out of life but I was afraid a committed relationship would constrain the possibilities. So we broke up, stayed in a weird situationship for a while then really broke up.

And she moved on, met someone she liked there, to my knowledge she’s still with him. And I know it was a mutual breakup, but part of me wonders if I had shown more willingness to commit we could’ve made it long distance.

My life post grad has been lonely and unfulfilling, I work a job I don’t like, and I live at home to save money. This sort of lifestyle makes you think screw life’s possibilities it’d be nice to have someone to spend your evenings with. I miss her, some days I’ll just sit in my room and cry thinking of our time together.

All that is to say I sent her a voice note, not to ask to get back together with her, not to displace the relationship and life she’s built over there. I just wanted to get back in touch, I wanted to know what she was up to. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life letting her fade to a memory and pretending it never happened. She didn’t respond though, it’s driving me mad, wondering if she didn’t see it, or if she did and chose not to respond (I could make my peace with the latter).

​

ive been on this sub for quite some time and people have genuinely helped me in my journey and i am doing a lot better than what i was and alot has changed since then in a poaitive way. ive travelled, tried to build habbits without that constant numbness and it somehow worked tho it was hard very hard. now im doing a lot better, a little closer to goals and have friends in a new city so much better has happend.i was doing good untill today, i was immune to most of the triggers but idk today out of no where falshes came back coz i just found a letter of her which she wrote on our anniversary(digital) and idk just feels like im back to square one after all those months of hard time and building myself piece by piece. and for those who say that to heal you need someone else, someone better(i dont suppport this) but yeah someone confessed about her feeling to me and i dont want to use her for healing from someone elese. people please help me out on what you do when things start to get messy on a random day (before that you were just fine, alomost the nomal person that you were before them) but baaammm just like that your piece is gone.

for context we are 18 and 19. we have been broken up just over a month and a week or so. she met another guy maybe two weeks after the relationship and is now with him. to the point he is in her profile picture and bio on instagram. im blocked but of course i looked on an alt account. me and her were pretty on and off but the love between us always pulled us back. and this time, she really ended it i guess. the relationship wasn’t unhealthy, it was just bumpy and we had alot of things to figure out. when i first found out about the guy, i practically begged for her back and she said she’s not in love with me anymore and that most of the moments in our relationship were bad. it shocked me to my core and the pain still hurts.

i would do anything for her to somehow magically return. and i know waiting for the rebound relationship won’t do me any good but my love for that girl stops me from doing anything else. no matter what i focus on. so i guess i’m asking for advice on what you see this situation as or at least what i can do to feel better.

Reposting because I didn’t get a response earlier :(

I have attempted to reconcile with my ex of 5 years three times in the past 8 months since our break up, all unsuccessful. Each time he has told me he loves me, and I’m the best person he’s ever known and doesn’t feel he’ll ever have what we had with someone else but that it’s unrealistic for us to get back together because it’s ultimately ruined. He admits to being a terrible partner in the beginning of the relationship (no cheating) for years and notes that it ended because his toxic behavior pushed me to become toxic and he left me because I was incapable of getting over what happened in the timeframe he was needing from me. I tried so hard but my self esteem was non existent by that point.

Well he got into a relationship right after the break up. We had goals of moving out of his parents for years but he had difficulties with unemployment and whatnot. Post break up he got an incredible job making a lot of money, moved out, and is in another relationship. He had not taken me on a date in more than a year, and has since taken this new person on over 10 dates when I could hardly get him out of the house. I feel so disheartened because I got such a different version of him and now the new person gets this version I have helped build and begged for. He thanks me for helping him grow which is nice but so painful. How do you get over this? For context the new relationship he is in, they broke up and she came back around and he gave her another chance. And I can’t believe that he wouldn’t do the same for me after 5 years. When I reached out this last time he said he was unhappy in the relationship and the moment I found out he was still in it I discontinued the conversation out of respect. But I can’t help but think - how can he be so willing for someone new? Why am I not enough? Please any advice or experience. I appreciate it.

I’m 27F him 29M. For context he has wanted to stay friends but I have had to decline as I know that would not be good for my mental health.

Hi everyone I was wondering if I could get some advice. My ex and I were together for 4 years. Everything was great up until this year where it just has been constant fighting which led to us breaking up. We broke it off on good terms, the issue here is that we live together in a 1b1b apartment (i stay on the couch and she stays in the bed room) and our lease doesn't end until next year. We cant break the lease because we cant afford it. We agreed to be civil and just friends while also doing minimal contact. The problem is that she wants to have conversation with me, and is ok with me being around her (i.e., sitting on the couch watching tv).

I lowkey want to get back with her, but she says she wants to commit to the breakup instead of a break. Any advice on what we should actually be doing, and how we should be approaching this would be appreciated. She also says that she has a hard time processing the break up when she has to see me everyday. Is there any way we can go around this or how we should do this?

I only dated this guy for a few months but in those few months the world was a burst of color. Life felt brighter and the world felt right. From the moment we met we didnt go a day without seeing eachother and we mixed so well. Eventually he gave me a promise ring and even proposed we move in together. I was head over heels and so was he, so when he proposed to me I said yes without hesitation. Well, at least that's what I thought. I was only 19F and he was 20M. I was freshly in college and he already had his career. He made all the big moves, promise rings, proposal, moving in. All his idea, and I was happy to be the one receiving this love. But things began to change, more agruments, a distance growing. Til he broke it off, told me he was afraid of failing those he cared about and he was gonna possibly do something irrational and felt to protect me, breaking up with me was the best choice. However, we spoke the next day and agreed to meet up and talk again. It was a good talk and I felt that we had some sort of break through. I did my best to support him as long as he communicated with me what he needed or if he wanted to be alone. However, a month after that he broke it off again due to his new diagnosis of BPD. Told me his doctors suggested he not be in a relationship. So, we took a break. A month of me checking in with him and casual convos I get a message from a girl asking me to leave his BF alone. I was shocked, heartbroken, confused and he refused to speak to me. I called and texted, nothing. Until he finally messaged about how he just didnt know how to tell me i wasnt what he wanted anymore. That he didnt wanna talk to me about it, he just wanted this to be done. It was a short time being with him but he made such a big impact on my life, i genuinely believe that was my first ever ego death. We were 3 weeks away from moving in together.

As time forced me forward life began to get easier to live. Its been about 4 years now and I dont think about him at all (unless he is mentioned by family on the rare occasion of talks about exes). Recently, I rediscovered a sweater he had bought for me that was his favorite band (not mainstream). I forgot I had it and every time I come across it I never throw it away. Regardless, I decided to look up the band because I genuinely liked them too, but in the past it was painful to listen to. However, curiosity killed the cat and I decided to do some 'stalking' while listening to the music. He is living a happy life with this girl, and they are all like family especially with his little sister. I couldn't help but feel rage in my chest. Since him, ive been dealt bad luck after bad luck. 2 evictions (not my doing), abuse, SA, living paycheck to paycheck, and my love life has been heartache or asshole after the next. I am currently in a relationship but its been Rocky as well. Thinking about it now, I dont like ive genuinely felt happy since being with him. The world is always dark and fucked up and I have the worst luck but im still here fighting tooth and nail. Im just so tired of it. Im tired of surviving and this f\*\*\*er is out traveling, doing fun things, living a genuinely good life with that girl. It feels unfair, he dragged me along, he kept wanting things for us, a future! And suddenly he tosses me to the side and he still gets the happy ending! What about my happy ending! I want a career, i wanna go back to college, I want to travel, I want to experience life! Im 22 now and I feel stuck. Im just a waitress... I have my own apartment but all my money goes to bills. This shit is unfair and he doesn't deserve that happiness. I don't love him this isnt a "I want him back" type of situation. He crushed me and doesn't deserve to be happy.

However, ik life is unfair and things happen. As of writing this the anger has subsided and I can be more rational. Ig that is what this is for.

For example, if a girl was begging you to change your mind/decision and you said a bunch of stuff you didn’t truly mean to get her to leave you alone. Like you don’t love her anymore, you don’t miss the relationship, you’re never getting back together etc.
just curious, thanks!

Im almost 30, and I'm looking for genuine advice, including tough love. I feel like I'm at a crossroads, and I'm struggling to distinguish between normal relationship compromises and settling for a future that might not be right for me.

My relationship of six years

My ex and I were together for six years. I love him deeply, and he's a good man in many ways. He's intelligent, loving toward me, respectful in our relationship, and ambitious. However, we've had ongoing disagreements about what we want our future to look like.

I want marriage and children. He isn't sure he wants marriage and recently said that perhaps we could think about it in five years. He doesn't want to feel pressured into making a decision before he's ready. I understand that, and I don't want someone to marry me out of obligation. But I'm almost 30, and waiting another five years just to find out whether he wants the same future feels like a huge gamble.

Money, buying a house, and our future in Australia

He earns approximately twice as much as I do, but he originally wanted us to split expenses 50/50. He also wanted to buy a house in his own name while expecting me to pay rent to live there.

I struggled with this because I want to build a life together. I didn't like the idea of contributing toward a property he would own while he built equity and I didn't.

After several conversations, he agreed to split expenses 60/40, with him paying the larger share, and to consider buying a house together. I appreciate that he's willing to compromise, but sometimes I wonder why I had to push so hard for these things. I occasionally perceive selfishness in how he approaches certain situations.

There's also the visa situation. I'm on a work visa, and establishing myself here, building financial security, buying a home, and eventually having a family are important to me. My ex has expressed concerns about the risks associated with citizenship and immigration decisions and how they could affect his future plans.

I know my immigration pathway is my responsibility, and I don't expect him to sacrifice his future for mine. But I want a partner with whom I can plan a future together, rather than feeling that our lives become separate whenever we discuss major decisions.

He is also very career-focused, doesn't like animals, and can sometimes be harsh toward other people. These things make me question our compatibility beyond the marriage issue, even though I genuinely love him and recognise his good qualities.

Why I left and how I met someone new

Our disagreements had been building for a long time. One night, I got drunk and came home late. He accused me of cheating and I was so hurt I went to stay with my friends. What was meant to be a couple of days turned into weeks and he ended up breaking up with me. I didn't stop loving him; I think I was exhausted by the uncertainty and by feeling that I was fighting for a future he wasn't sure he wanted.

After moving out, I met another man. I didnt plan it. We started talking and spending time together, had long conversations, and developed a connection. He's thoughtful, intellectual, respectful, and affectionate. He's cooked for me and shown me little acts of care that made me feel appreciated. Recently, he told me I have all the qualities he's looking for in a woman, which made me feel excited.

I know I've only known him for a short time, and I could be idealising him because the connection is new and he makes me feel wanted. He's also expressed a preference for a relationship where both people have a lot of freedom, so we'd need to clarify whether we're compatible long-term.

I'm not assuming he's a better partner. I'm just realising that there's a world outside my six-year relationship, and I'm wondering whether I'm holding on to my past because I'm afraid to let go.

The plot twist: I'm back living with my ex

This week, I moved back in with my ex because I couldn't financially afford to keep paying rent on two places. I am an immigrant and I have no family to rely on.

Since I've returned, he's been sweet. We've talked seriously, and he's agreed to many of the changes I've wanted, including the 60/40 financial split and considering buying a house together. The marriage question, however, remains unresolved.

Now I'm confused. Part of me feels hopeful because he's listening and making changes. Another part wonders whether we're genuinely addressing our incompatibilities or whether things feel better because we've almost lost each other.

I don't want to leave a good man just because he doesn't want marriage on my timeline. At the same time, I don't want to spend years hoping he'll change his mind, only to discover that we've wanted different things all along.

I also don't know whether I'm being too agreeable by accepting these compromises, or whether this is simply what healthy relationships require: two people with different needs negotiating and finding common ground.

What advice am I looking for?

1. Would you give a six-year relationship another chance when your partner says marriage might be possible in five years but can't promise anything?
2. Am I being unreasonable for wanting marriage and children sooner, or is this a fundamental incompatibility?
3. Are our financial disagreements and the house situation warning signs, or are they differences we can work through?
4. How do you distinguish healthy compromise from having to persuade your partner to consider your needs?
5. Should I put the new connection aside and give my ex a genuine chance, or accept that I might be holding on to a relationship that no longer fits me?

I'm not looking for people to tell me my ex is a terrible person or that the new guy is automatically better. I want to be fair to both of them and, most importantly, to myself.

Please give me tough love. I want genuine advice from people who have experienced something similar, especially those who have stayed with a partner hoping they'd eventually want the same future.

TL;DR: After six years together, I left my boyfriend because we disagree about marriage, finances, buying a house, and our future. I met someone new after moving out, but I recently moved back in with my ex for financial reasons, and he's now making compromises while still saying marriage might be five years away. Am I being too agreeable and risking my future, or should I give our relationship another chance?

I just want to move on with my life and not think about him all the time. I wake up thinking about him, I go to sleep thinking about him and he constantly pops up in my mind throughout the day or something reminds me of him. When will this end? It’s making it so hard to move on.

The girl I dated for four years sort of randomly dropped that what has been happening isn’t working and we shouldn’t be dating. We said we wanted to keep as friends but didn’t talk for a week, after a week she ended up asking me how I’ve been and that led to us talking somewhat for a week. The problem was a few days before we ended it I explained to her she had crossed a boundary with some guy at her work. Come now when we were talking again, she was hanging out with him many days in a row until mid night at times. Which led to me feeling like needing to know what she was up to since I wasn’t okay with it before it ended. After a week of that on the last 2 days she was out with him one day until 2 and the next day until 4. I couldn’t sleep that last day and when she finally told me she was home I asked to call and she had explained how he ended up holding her hand during a corn maze and could tell that he was trying to be close in that way with her and that she didn’t exactly do anything she didn’t want to. She blocked me on everything but my number that night. All of this was over calls and nothing in person. After that call in the morning I left her a written note and flowers I was gonna leave her regardless since I was home from college that weekend. 4 days later she texts me saying we should figure out something on giving what is needed back to each other, we talked for a bit and she explained how she felt I had been to much during all of that even though we weren’t supposed to be together. I understood and told her that her blocking me switched that for me. We called after texting some and kinda just said like I want to work on me and I hope in the future it’s for her, she said she’s not even ready for a relationship with anyone and what’s happening with the other guy was only friendly until that time. But she wouldn’t do more than what had happened already. She told me they have hung out and will hangout more and on that call she was wearing his hoodie. All of this has happened over the phone and I feel for what it was between us I would want to talk to her in person about everything, since every time we call she has to hang up in less then an hour and I feel I can’t get anything out. In a week I will be going back home for my fall break. Am I wrong to tell her I would like to talk and sit during one of those days to just have time for it, while saying that if she doesn’t want to talk she doesn’t even have to answer and I’m ready to respect that now.

Hi everyone!

I'm 29F, and I recently went through a breakup in early September after a long distance relationship of nearly three years.

It's been a strange experience, navigating the grief, the sudden absence of someone who used to be part of my everyday life, and the process of rediscovering myself outside of a relationship.

I'm doing better than I was initially, but some days are still difficult. I thought it might be nice to connect with other people around my age who have recently been through something similar, especially those who were on the receiving end of a breakup.

I'm not looking for advice on getting an ex back or jumping into another relationship. I'd simply love to find a few people to chat with, exchange experiences, support each other, and hopefully build some genuine friendships along the way.

We don't have to talk about heartbreak all the time, either. I'd love to hear about your interests, hobbies, work, and all the little things that make life enjoyable.

If this resonates with you, feel free to comment or send me a message. ❤️

hello, this is a throwaway obviously.

my boyfriend and i dated for 6 months and it was pure bliss. we broke up yesterday because he wants to get intimate now and i didn't feel comfortable yet. we both understood that its just something we don't agree on and its too important for him in a relationship we we agreed that that's the end. he did say we could still be friends and asked me to call him over the weekend.

my question is, should i? i still love him and id do anything to have him back. i don't know if its this that makes me think breaking it off in the first place was a mistake.

this was my first boyfriend and relationship if that means anything.

thanks for your time