Enzo at his best

It's a mystery how we only score 2 goals. If we're as clinical as PSG were it's a 6-4 win. Super proud of that 2nd half display though, if we go into every game playing like that then the sky's the limit this season.

This is so unfair.

Great game regardless. Was thoroughly entertaining.

Haven’t you heard? It’s all anybody who isn’t a Blue is talking about right now!

From every club that’s been relegated from the top flight since 2009, to Gerrard’s infamous slip, to supposedly paying referees to disadvantage a team in a match we weren’t even involved in, to Everton’s financial breaches, to Beckham getting sent off in the 1998 World Cup, to Jamie Carragher spitting at a child, to rising fuel prices, to the Chernobyl nuclear disaster, to Jamie Oliver getting Turkey Twizzlers banned, to the Titanic sinking, to the awful final season of Game of Thrones, to Harambe getting killed, to that girl who rejected you at that party that time, to Woolworths closing down, to that promotion you didn’t get at that job you didn’t like, to Donald Trump’s fake tan, to the dinosaurs going extinct, to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up, to Piers Morgan ever being born…

Manchester City Football Club are 114% responsible for all of it.

It’s also quite possible that City faked the moon landings, but as yet that remains mere speculation. We eagerly await Sky Sports’ entirely impartial analysis of the matter…

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A 0-0 draw at the COMS in the UEFA Cup in December

Line-up
J Hart
P Zabaleta
R Dunne
T Ben Haim
J Garrido
D Sturridge
S Ireland
V Kompany
D Vassell
Elano
Jo
Substitutes
K Schmeichel
S Logan
Glauber
D Hamann
F Caicedo
Benjani
C Evans

For me its the 25/26 away kit, if you know you know

Wait a second… there is some parallel universe shit going on here.

Anyone subbed in both or whats the beef?

47 reversed is 74

74 seconds in minutes is 1 minute and 14 seconds

114

Coincidence? I think not.

I blame Chris Kavanagh.

City have had some incredible kits over the years, from the classic old-school designs to the modern-era shirts. But which one stands above the rest?

Whether it’s a home, away or third kit from any season, I want to hear your opinions!

Wait I thought FFP/PSR was supposed to stop this?

Can you name the starting XI?

https://top-bins.com/quiz/731/manchester-city-7-2-stoke-city-14-october-2017/

On 14 October 2017 at the Etihad Stadium, Pep Guardiola's Manchester City put seven past Mark Hughes's Stoke - the Catalan calls it the finest display of his reign.

Three up inside half an hour: a close-range prod, a finish teed up by a no-look through ball that has the home support on its feet, then a poked third after more slick combination play. Mame Biram Diouf pulls one back with a deflected shot before the break; two minutes after the restart his header comes off a City defender, hits the post, and trickles in — 3-2, briefly believable.

The reply is ruthless. A second for the opener restores calm; a midfielder rockets one in off the underside of Jack Butland's bar from twenty-five yards; another is slotted at the far post from a velvet through ball.

Substitute Bernardo Silva taps home the seventh after a late lay-off. Agüero watches unused from the bench.

Following recent concerns from Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United supporters, it has become clear that Manchester City fans require additional guidance on how to behave appropriately.

Fortunately, supporters of these three clubs have generously appointed themselves the moral guardians of English football, and it would be disrespectful not to acknowledge their authority.

1. Celebrating goals

Manchester City supporters must refrain from celebrating goals until permission has been granted by fans of Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United.

A polite round of applause may be considered, but only once the goal has been independently assessed for financial irregularities.

2. Celebrating victories

Winning football matches is not, in itself, sufficient grounds for happiness.

City supporters must first consider whether the result has caused emotional distress to supporters of historically significant football clubs.

If so, celebrations should be postponed indefinitely.

3. Discussing trophies

City supporters are reminded that trophies won by Manchester City do not count and must not be brought up in football discussions.

The legitimacy of any trophy is determined exclusively by whichever Liverpool or United supporter you happen to be arguing with.

Arsenal supporters may also participate, provided the conversation does not involve European Cups.

4. Expressing opinions

City fans are permitted to have opinions about football, provided those opinions have been checked and approved by supporters of clubs with a greater number of Twitter followers.

Disagreement with a Liverpool, Arsenal or United supporter is considered evidence of sportswashing.

5. Attending matches

City supporters must provide photographic evidence of their attendance, including a timestamp, GPS coordinates and a photograph of themselves holding that day's newspaper.

Failure to do so will result in immediate classification as a plastic fan.

Those who do attend must maintain a wholly solemn demeanour throughout. Smiling, cheering or displaying any outward signs of enjoyment may be interpreted as an attempt to legitimise financial misconduct.

6. Showing respect for football's traditions

City fans must respect the traditions established by English football's most prestigious institutions.

These include breaking transfer records, spending hundreds of millions on players and expanding commercial revenues.

However, City supporters must understand that these activities are only acceptable when undertaken by clubs who were already wealthy.

7. Responding to rival supporters

When told that City's achievements mean nothing, City supporters should simply thank the individual for taking time out of their day to explain this for the 4,000th time.

Under no circumstances should City supporters point out that people who genuinely believe something is meaningless rarely spend eight hours a day talking about it.

8. Understanding the independent moral hierarchy

Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal supporters are to be treated as independent, impartial authorities on all matters involving Manchester City.

Their decades of rivalry with City, personal dislike of the club and direct competitive interests do not constitute a conflict of interest.

Suggesting otherwise is deeply disrespectful.

9. Liverpool

10. Accepting the correct level of punishment

City supporters must accept that any punishment proposed by a rival supporter is both proportionate and legally sound.

Points deductions, relegation, expulsion and the retrospective removal of trophies are all considered reasonable starting positions.

The precise punishment will be determined by the number of angry replies beneath the latest unhinged journalist's tweet, which shall be treated as an authoritative interpretation of Premier League regulations.

Questioning whether any of these punishments are actually available under the relevant regulations is considered further evidence of guilt.

11. Accepting collective responsibility

Manchester City supporters are reminded that they are personally responsible for all decisions made by the club's ownership, executives and legal representatives.

Not knowing the details of a financial transaction undertaken in 2011 is no defence.

Supporters are expected to have maintained comprehensive records of all sponsorship agreements, commercial arrangements and accounting practices throughout this period.

Failure to produce these documents upon request from an Arsenal fan on Reddit will be interpreted as an admission of guilt.

12. Respecting the appeals process

City supporters must understand that whilst the right to appeal is a fundamental principle of justice, exercising that right is considered deeply inappropriate when Manchester City are involved.

Any attempt to challenge a decision must be regarded as further evidence of wrongdoing, irrespective of the legal arguments presented.

Supporters are reminded that the correct outcome of an appeal has already been determined by Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United fans, rendering the involvement of qualified legal professionals both entirely unnecessary and a flagrant waste of Premier League resources.

13. Manchester United

14. Demonstrating appropriate remorse

Following any Manchester City victory, supporters must demonstrate a suitable degree of remorse.

Acceptable responses include apologising to the opposition, acknowledging that the result is morally questionable and promising not to enjoy the next match.

Supporters must not attempt to justify their happiness by referring to events that actually took place on the football pitch.

15. Knowing when to remain silent

City supporters must understand that silence is not an acceptable response to allegations, as it demonstrates complicity.

Equally, responding to allegations is not acceptable, as it demonstrates a desperate attempt to defend the indefensible.

Supporters are therefore advised to remain silent while simultaneously issuing a full and unconditional apology.

Failure to comply will be taken as further evidence of guilt.

16. Enjoying football

Ultimately, Manchester City supporters are reminded that football is supposed to be enjoyed.

Just not by you.

Your role is to buy tickets, preferably not attend matches, support your team quietly and apologise whenever they win.

Should you accidentally experience happiness, please report yourself to the nearest Liverpool, Arsenal or Manchester United supporter for immediate correction.

17. Discussing football matches

City supporters must understand that the events taking place during a football match are largely irrelevant to any subsequent discussion.

Attempts to discuss tactics, individual performances or particularly well-worked goals should be discouraged.

Supporters are reminded that the appropriate response to any Manchester City highlight is to mention the charges, regardless of whether they have any relevance to the footage.

18. Recognising the importance of context

City supporters must recognise that all achievements, performances and results must be viewed in their proper context.

In practice, this means that positive developments involving Manchester City should be immediately qualified, dismissed or attributed to financial expenditure.

Negative developments, however, may be discussed entirely on their own merits.

19. Tottenham Hotspur

City supporters must recognise Tottenham Hotspur as another vital guardian of English football's sporting integrity.

While Tottenham supporters may not always participate in discussions concerning winning trophies, they remain exceptionally well qualified to advise others on how those trophies should be won.

Their current league position must not be interpreted as a reflection of their expertise.

Indeed, their willingness to prioritise the moral integrity of the competition over their own participation in it is to be commended.

20. Manchester City

City supporters must acknowledge that 20th place is the club's rightful position in the Premier League table.

Supporters should understand that finishing bottom of the league with a mere minus 300 points would still represent an unacceptable degree of leniency. As a result all future matches involving the club are meaningless.

Thank you for your cooperation.

These guidelines are subject to change without notice, depending on Manchester City's latest result and the emotional wellbeing of rival supporters.

I'm sure we're all feeling a little uneasy about what will happen with the charges. I'm sure we've all been on the recieving end of banter or just outright abuse from rival fans. It's easy to get caught up in the media shit storm, for us and them. We can have those conversations when it's resolved. If we are guilty then we deal with it. As it stands though... We have one of the best strikers in the world. We have probably the most rounded midfielder in the world. We have another midfielder who is the best right back in the league. We have a midfield maverick who is second to none on his day. We have a winger who can leave the very best defenders on the floor. And we have kids getting minutes that could be even better than any of their counterparts. Don't let this get overlooked. The arguments about how we got here won't go away until (and prob even after) the case is closed and done. Either way, nobody can deny that this current team is amazing and will probably get even better. Nobody can deny this team is great. The negativity bombarding us right now only makes it more impressive.