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Day 7 of fixing my life

So Here is the day 7

My girlfriend broke up with me today because I couldn't give her much time or she expected more from me , She's right though , am not the type of guy anybody would want tbh ....but hey , I try to improve myself .....so I guess that counts a little bit maybe ??? Idk , I always mess things up idk why

But anyways , let's proceed

I woke up at 6:40 am and today I did the following

Health -

1) Break day - No workout as today was rest day

But had to do some hectic works of family which required me to cycle a total of 4 km so yeah some physical movement definetly happened

Mind -

1) Meditation

2) Chess 1 match

3) Book reading ( Never finished , Sorrounded by idiots , Slight edge )

4) Language learning ( German )

5) Brain exercises ( Fast mental calculations and memory exercises )

6) Read 2 pages of encyclopedia

Academics -

1) today I gave another test of 3 hours the test was tough then previous and am happy that it was a bit tough , makes me excited to try another

2) Watched one lecture of physics by professor miller in YouTube

Finance -

Made some money and saved it

Daily affairs -

1) Read the newspaper and got updated with the latest happenings with the day

Phase 2 launch is successful ,

I am actively trying to improve my posture and maintaining a healthy posture ....will add some more improvements slowly slowly

I failed to improve my sleep habits as it's currently 11:26 pm and I have to wake up at 6:20 am ( less than 7 hour sleep ) I already feel miserable because of it

Anyways , that's what I did today

Will update day 8 tomorrow night , bye

Thanks for reading

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman is one of the most important books on human psychology and behavioral economics, but it can be a heavy, dense read.

Here is a comprehensive executive summary of the entire book broken down into key concepts and practical applications.

1. System 1 vs. System 2 Thinking

Kahneman divides the human brain into two virtual actors:

System 1 (Fast): Operates automatically and rapidly with little or no effort. It handles pattern recognition, gut reactions, and emotional responses.

System 2 (Slow): Allocates attention to effortful mental operations, including complex computations, logical analysis, and deliberate focus.

The Main Problem: System 2 is lazy and conserves energy. It frequently accepts System 1’s quick intuitions without fact-checking them, which leads to predictable cognitive biases.

1. Major Mental Shortcuts & Biases

WYSIATI (What You See Is All There Is): System 1 creates stories based only on known facts and ignores missing variables, leading to overconfidence in incomplete data.

Anchoring: Unconscious bias toward initial numbers or impressions, regardless of their relevance (e.g., initial price negotiations).

Availability & Representativeness: We judge how likely an event is based on how easily an example comes to mind or how closely it matches a stereotype, rather than statistical probabilities.

Framing Effect: How information is presented changes our choices. "90% survival rate" feels much safer than "10% mortality rate."

1. Prospect Theory & Risk (Why We Make Bad Bets)

Classical economics assumes humans make rational choices, but Kahneman proved we don't:

Loss Aversion: The psychological pain of losing something is roughly 2x stronger than the pleasure of gaining the equivalent thing.

Sunk Cost Fallacy: Investing more resources into a failing project simply to avoid acknowledging the initial loss.

1. The Two Selves: Experiencing vs. Remembering

Experiencing Self: Feels the present moment.

Remembering Self: Writes the story of the experience and makes future choices based on it.

Peak-End Rule: Our memory ignores duration (Duration Neglect) and only cares about two things: the most intense moment (Peak) and how the event ended (End).

1. How to Apply This to Daily Life

Conduct a "Premortem": Before starting any major goal or project, pretend you're a year in the future and it completely bombed. Write down all the reasons why it failed. This overcomes overconfidence and planning fallacies.

Force System 2 Engagement: When facing important decisions (career, investments, major purchases), build forced pauses or checklists to stop System 1 from taking over.

Separate Process from Outcome: Good decisions can yield bad results due to luck/randomness. Don't judge past decisions purely on outcome.

Hope this saves you guys some time! Let me know if you want clarification on any specific concept.

Hi,
I am a 21 year old female and I think I have a bit of an ego. I believe it is negatively affecting my life, I feel like everyone is thinking about me and focused on me when that isn’t true of course. I feel like I’m in the centre of attention and it is exhausting because I feel embarrassed and judged for everything. I would really like a book talking about the ego and how to humble yourself basically, for women by women.

Please feel free to leave suggestions! Thank you :)

i feel like i don't want to live another day i'm so sick of everything. im 28 and partly i work for one company and on another part i do things that i passionate about, earn from it some too.

but i'm soooooo sick of already being 28 and i do works at that company and just getting slightly above minimum and then doing my things and putting x amount of money on it and effort and hours and just being incapable to profit form it, because this world feels so saturated with new business, new inventions, new stores, new everything.

i know it is just complaning, but i'm soooo sick i'm sick of doing effort and sitting with okay-ish life.

other girls just marry rich guys and don't worry a day and i fucking crying.

i HATE that i don't have mentality to date someone rich, i just don't fall in love at all.

i'm here sitting with stupid bullshit on which i spend more energy and money and NOTHING just misreable.

and seeing everyone just being rich and famous with their successful business at age 14 or whatever.

sorry for my english it sucks too like my whole life, i dont want to do anything ever again, i don't even want to breathe

I’m a 30 year old female. I work from home 99% of the time and my role is pretty relaxed so I can start working (from bed) anytime between 9-10.

I feel like as a result, I have zero discipline in my life to get up early in the morning as I don’t have to get ready and leave for work.

For the past few months I’ve found it near impossible to wake up earlier than 9 to go to the gym. I set 15 alarms, I’ve tried alarms that make you do maths equations, put an alarm far away across my room. All that happens is I wake up, walk to the alarm/solve the equation, then go straight back to bed. I then wake up 2 hours later annoyed with myself for missing the gym AGAIN.

Please help, what has worked for you? Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I’m in such a rut.

Edited to add:
Because of faith commitments, I can’t go to bed any earlier than midnight. I own a business too so from 9am to 9pm my day is pretty much back to back, sometimes it’s hard to even find time to eat. I usually get home by 10 pm during the week and by the time I’ve eaten and taken some time to myself, it’s usually around 11-12.

Second edit to answer a few questions

1. I used to go in the evenings during COVID but I would spend the whole day dreading it. Once I had a PT that could only meet at 7am, I found I preferred it. I would be too tired to think about what I was doing, almost doing the exercises on autopilot. By the time I was fully awake by 9 am, it was as if I’d worked out in my sleep, had completed an entire gym session and I still had the whole day ahead of me
2. I have a good diet focused around protein and fruit and vegetables. However, I do take migraine pills that make me sleepy (in talks with my doctor now about changing them)

Final edit
Thank you so so much to everyone for your feedback! I woke up feeling like a bum today but can now see that my issue wasn’t willpower but that I wasn’t giving my body enough time to sleep.
I’m now going to try going to the gym at night before I get home, will be tough at first but I’m sure I’ll eventually get used to it.

Appreciate you all!

I’m in my mid-20s, and I’ve struggled with porn and masturbation since I was in my early teens, when a friend introduced me to it.

I always told myself it would fix itself once I got married, but the older I get, the less I believe that. I’ve also never spoken to a girl in my life, and my confidence has taken a huge hit because of it. Porn is only one factor, but it’s a big one.

Over the years, my tastes have escalated. I started with regular porn, and a few months ago I stumbled across a different category on Twitter and kept going back to it. Every time, I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I worry that if I keep going like this, it will keep escalating into things I don’t even want.

I’ve tried to quit more times than I can count. I’ve deleted apps, removed stuff, and even prayed and promised God I’d stop. My longest streak was about a week and a half. The problem is that whenever I feel the urge, porn is my default way to deal with it. Because of my religious beliefs, I don’t have sex outside of marriage, and I’m not able to talk to women, so it feels like my only outlet. Ads and explicit content are everywhere online too, so even when I try to avoid it, something triggers me.

I also worry that I’m wrong about the cause. If I get married and I’m still doing this, then what?

What tactics have really worked for you? How do you handle the urges, avoid triggers, and break the cycle?

Thanks for reading. I’d appreciate any advice.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for all the advice and responses. I’ve been reading through the comments, and I just wanted to clarify something because I noticed quite a few people assumed I’m Muslim. I’m actually an Orthodox Christian. For those who aren’t familiar, we also believe that sex outside of marriage is sinful, and we’re taught to stay away from sexual immorality in general, including pornography.

I also realize I misspoke a little when I said that I don’t talk to women because of my religion. My faith doesn’t prevent me from talking to women. It’s more that I’ve personally avoided getting close to women because I’m afraid of it eventually leading to something sexual before marriage. Obviously, I know that simply talking to a woman doesn’t mean that’s going to happen, but that fear has still influenced how I’ve behaved.

I think pornography partly became my way of coping with that. Instead of actually learning how to talk to women, build normal relationships, and deal with attraction in a healthy way while maintaining my boundaries, I retreated into porn because it felt like an outlet without physically having sex outside of marriage.

The irony is that, according to my own beliefs, pornography is still seriously wrong, so I haven’t really avoided the underlying problem. I’ve just replaced one thing I was afraid of doing with another habit that has become destructive in its own way. Reading the comments has made me realize that this is probably something I need to address beyond simply telling myself to “stop watching porn.”

This is gonna be a long post and I hope it will reach people that have gone through a similar experience since it's not just about phone addiction.

The past couple of months or maybe even a year, I've noticed that I often forget things and sometimes can't remember what exactly happened in a book I'm reading or a TV show I'm watching (for example). My first thought was that (doom)scrolling is the problem. I later realised that while this really is part of the problem, I don't think I spend enough time on my phone to justify that (I even cut my mindless screentime in half for months, but things continued to get worse).

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't forget everything. I am able to learn new information and can still concentrate. It's just that my mind starts to wonder, and I start planning what to do next. Which brings me to (what I think is) the big problem.

I can't concentrate not because my mind is fried from scrolling, but because my mind can't rest. I'm constantly stimulating it with something. Scrolling, music, plans about later, more music. So I stopped listening to music in every possible moment. Even before, I never used my phone in public transport, and I try not to use it to kill time. But honestly I decided I'm just going to stop scrolling because I'm fed up with it. It's not that hard so stopping a phone addiction is not really a problem for now. The problem is how do I do my chores and work in time without overplanning and stressing. The thing is that I'm able to sit and read or just think about stuff but then time flies by and suddenly I've done nothing about my work. I start planning what, when, how to do it and now I'm running around stressing and doing almost nothing in the end (considering the time it took). Then the cycle repeats. I try to stop for a while and just... exists without plans and schedules. But then my chores catch up. And this continues again and again leading to constant anxiety.

No, I dont have ADHD or anything similar. I can be very organised and strict but I want to learn how to do it without extreme pressure from myself.

So to recap - I think I overstimulate my brain too much with excess thoughts, plans, scrolling etc. This exhausts it and then I start forgetting stuff when I'm not under pressure (when watching a movie, learning because I want to not because I need to and so on). It also results in brain fog - sometimes I don't forget my thoughts immediately but I can't seem to "find" them in my head and they eventually disappear (until hours or days later).

I want to find a way to do my chores and enjoy my hobbies without constant stress, loud thoughts and poor time management.

What are things you realised were really damaging to your brain, what did you do to stop the brain fog and how long did it take?

Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance!

For me it wasn't any fancy system. I used to wait for motivation to write, then feel anxious for not writing.

What finally worked was embarrassingly boring: Write 3 lines every morning right after lighting a diya, and do the first hour of work without touching my phone.

No word count goals, no streak apps. Just those two boring things daily for months. My anxiety and procrastination got measurably better and I actually finished my drafts.

Writers / creatives who have been through this - what was that one boring habit that actually stuck for you? Not a hack, just something you repeated daily.

I feel like my brain’s first reaction to everything is negative. Sometimes it’s a judgmental or condescending thought, jealousy, or automatically finding something wrong with a situation.
I genuinely don’t want to be this way. I try to catch myself and challenge these thoughts, but it’s exhausting constantly having to fight my natural reactions. I want to be a more positive, secure person who can be happy for others without comparing myself or looking for the negative in everything.
Has anyone actually managed to change this? How do you get to a point where being positive comes naturally instead of feeling like you’re constantly forcing yourself to be someone you’re not?

When I start having too much fun I tend to intentionally make myself miserable or stop having fun so I never get caught "not being serious", and therefore not looking stupid.

Me looking happy is the same as me looking stupid, I am terrified of being seen or perceived as having fun, because that must mean I am not working hard enough.

I literally never allow myself to have fun for too long, or if I do have fun for too long I inevitably know that I am going to feel bad again, so I force myself to stop.

I’m 26, and I feel like I’ve forgotten how to be silly and carefree. My boyfriend is naturally goofy, fun, and easygoing, and sometimes I look at him and wonder why I can’t be like that. I feel awkward, boring, and overly serious in comparison, and honestly, sometimes I hate myself for it.
I think my anxiety plays a big part in it. I overthink everything instead of just enjoying the moment, and I miss being able to laugh, joke around, and not take everything so seriously.
The exhausting part is that I’m constantly trying to be the person I WANT to be, but it doesn’t feel natural to me yet. I want to be more carefree, fun, and lighthearted, but I’m tired of feeling like I have to consciously try so hard just to act that way.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you actually become a more carefree person instead of feeling like you’re forcing a personality that doesn’t come naturally to you?

Hi guys, I need your help. I'm genuinely starting to lose my mind and hate myself. I (22M) have been with my gf (21F) for about a year. She is very sweet and loving, she can be like a cute annoying at times but I am totally fine with that. She also has a best friend who would always talk shit about me before who also goes out with multiple guys and party and all that, not that it matters, I just don't want my girlfriend socializing with someone like that. I had a girl who's a friend before I met my gf but my gf made it very clear that she doesn't want me being in contact with her. I have been lying for about 2 months that I haven't talked to that girl, but I was, not in a. sexual or flirtatious way, I didn't even hug the girl, but the girl told my gf and she found out and I just feel like the biggest manipulative piece of shi* in the world and I lowkey hate myself for this. Idk what to do anymore. Long story short, my gf texted me very shorty after and told me she forgives me and regrets telling everyone because I didn't;t actually cheat but violated a boundary. I still understand what I did is fucked up and I promised myself I would never do that again. A month later, I'm sitting with my boys in a study room at university and this girl I used to be friends with walked in and just started going off on me calling me mentally ill and repeating it, and calling me a super senior for being in my 5th year of college, and then insulting my looks. Mind you I was quiet the entire time and then responses with telling her she was ugly and then stayed quiet the entire time, then she proceeded to call me someone who doesn't respect women, a piece of shit, etc. I used to talk to her friend 2 years ago nd once we ended things I found out she was spreading info behind my back and decided to cut her off. she also accused me of talking shit about her for 2 years lmao I never said anything if I see her I literally just keep it pushing and dont say anything. I just genuinely cannot catch a break and im losing my fucking mind. I genuinely hate myself and I dont know what to do, I feel so lost and hurt and upset.

How can we improve this??

I often allow myself to fall into deep self destruction, and I use the word allow in particular for a reason.

These are things that, albeit taking a lot of effort, I CAN control them. I can learn to stop them, and I can change my own mind and change how things work.

But it takes EFFORT. And there are days where I just do not take any effort to change things whenever I become extremely depressive.

It feels like climbing a mountain and every now and again just allowing myself to slowly slide down the mountain, when in reality if I just put more effort in, then I could just grip harder and slow my descent and stop.

I need to stop allowing myself to fall into and remain in these states. I know what my problems are. It is uncomfortable, but it needs to happen. It is uncomfortable because me not destroying myself or allowing myself to rot are things that are NEW, not things that are BAD.

The more that I do them, the more I will be able to do them, but every time I just allow myself to waste away is me giving myself an excuse to never change or ever take accountability for myself.

I cannot allow myself to permit my own destruction anymore; every time I do, I am giving more control back to the older, more powerful parts of my mind.

I am not pathetic, and I will not allow myself to keep thinking I am pathetic all for the goal of never having to actually WORK on myself, to give myself an excuse to not do the WORK of changing.

The first time I discovered porn was at the age ot 9-10 after then I was addicted for few years and left the addiction at the age of 16 . Things get very clear when I left my addiction. I was living at the peak of my life, there were so much mental peace back then but after few months something weird happened to me that was wet dreams . I know it sounds stupid, absurd , but like really that was like the biggest downfall for me. All of the mental health that I regained went back to zero, I went into depression, anxiety thinking about the future. At that time I was having frequent wet dreams like 4-5 times a week. Now I don't get frequent enough but when I wake up in the morning I don't get enough mental peace, I feel like distracted, physical pain in all my body, burning eyes, low energy. I don't even watch porn now but still I can't recover from the symptoms. It's been almost like 4-5 years I am suffering from it.

I used to read cookbooks cover to cover without ever cooking from them. Just collecting ideas, building this mental library of techniques I never used. The food I actually made stayed pretty flat. Then I started doing something backwards. Picked one recipe, cooked it exactly as written, and only afterward read about why the author made those choices. The difference was immediate. When you cook first and read second, you have actual questions. Why did this sauce break? Why was the timing off? The reading becomes targeted instead of passive. I started keeping a small notebook in the kitchen, just quick notes on what went wrong and what I changed. Now when I read something new it connects to a real experience instead of floating in abstraction. The same pattern bled into my work. I used to binge documentation before touching a new framework. Now I build something broken first, then read with purpose. The learning sticks harder and the initial confusion doesn't bother me like it used to. Having skin in the game just changes how information lands. Curious if anyone else found that doing the thing badly first, then studying, worked better than preparing forever.

Some things you should know about me first-

1. I'm 17m. Moved from India to London a month ago.

2. I've been struggling with health issues for months. Finally getting better now.

This is the first time I've been so far from home and it's been kinda overwhelming. Getting used to the weather, the people and the culture has been amazing but also taxing. Plus adulting for the first time also has presented many challenges. (dishes. fucking dishes man).

But the most challenging part has been socializing. English isn't my first language. It's hard enough talking to someone for the first time without having to translate stuff in your head, though I've been getting used to it. Plus, I missed almost all the freshers events cuz of earlier mentioned health issues PLUS finding people in my degree (engineering) that I can bond with has been harder than I thought.

It doesn't help that I don't like partying, alchohol or drugs. Just don't wanna try any of it. As a result of all of this, I've been really lonely past couple of weeks. Eating dinner alone, commuting alone, studying alone. It gets to you sometimes. I try and not give up and sulk in my room all day, but some days are harder than others.

So I wanna hear from you guys. Some stories about how you overcame or are overcoming loneliness and isolation. I feel like even one story is gonna give me the hope and courage I'm starting to lack. Doesn't have to be big. Maybe a small incident. A friend you might've made. Anything honestly.

Hope to hear from you guys.

With so many distractions in 2026, I'm curious what actually works in real life

TW: suicidal ideations mentioned

Hey guys, I’m a struggling university student hoping to become a veterinarian. I’m a junior who just switched from pre-med, and starting over in such a competitive field is terrifying.

However, my biggest concern is my declining mental health. After five years of struggling with depression, burnout, and a past involving addiction, narcissism, emotional abuse, and toxic friendships, I feel exhausted. My depression has improved, but my grades are suffering, and I currently have no friends.

Lately, suicidal thoughts have started popping into my head, especially when I worry about failing exams. I don’t have a plan to act on these thoughts, but I have been scratching myself when I break down. I feel like my self-worth depends on my future, and I’m struggling to escape this mindset.

I have a therapist, but I’m afraid to tell her because I worry it could lead to hospitalization and set me back academically. I don’t know how to manage these thoughts while dealing with burnout, past trauma, and uncertainty about my future.

Has anyone experienced something similar, and what helped you cope? How do I navigate this?

I’ve been stuck in a loop of depression, burnout, stress and anxiety for over 5 years now. I gave up on my passions and theres nothing that excites me. I feel like there is nothing left in my city for me to explore. I live ln the same area i grew up in and i will always have a lot of love for it, but it is also tied to many traumatic experiences and years of struggling. I have partner that i love deeply here. But i dont feel fulfilled in other areas of my life - at all.

I dont think im trying to run from something. Im aware that my identity and history will follow me anywhere i go. I was just wondering, for anyone who has done it, when was the moment you knew “yep, im packing my bags and saying fuck it”?

Hey 21F here. I have this issue where I have this terrible victim mindset. I often feel like I am stuck in a hole when I face problems/people. Whenever someone mistreats me, I always assume that there is something they can spot about me and are targeting me to take their anger out on. I feel like there is something about me that people are annoyed by and I am a target for bullying.

I’ve had a string of abusive/toxic friends, and now I feel that there is no hope of me finding good friends. I currently have no friends at the moment and feel hopeless and unloved in life. I feel like if I start setting boundaries or standing up to the awful people in my life (family included), they will abandon/hurt me.

Any advice?

I havent been able to progress in the gym on the smith machine incline bench press. Ive been stuck at 55kg 5 reps for a month now, the sixth rep always fails just before I manage the rep (upper half).
Almost all lifts progress, but ever since I switched from the Chest fly machine to the lying bench press machine, progress has slown down.
What I do:
- I eat enough carbs and protein and fat, im even in a 200 calorie surplus.
-In the 2 upper body days in the week I do 2 sets of incline smith machine bench press first in my workout, then 2 sets of the lying bench press.
For triceps I do overhead tricep extension on the cable which I progress pretty okay on.

Yes, I haven been sleeping that well, but I think as a beginner I should still be able to progress anyway?
I will switch back to the butterfly machine on that second chest exercise and use lighter weights on the incline smith for now.
Any other ideas?

Hey everyone, I'm a developer with 5 years of experience.

I noticed my memory was getting worse and my focus was slipping because of doom scrolling, so I built an app to help me replace that habit with reading. Which is funny, because I had never finished a book in my life.

The app lets you set a reading goal, and it locks your apps until you hit it. You upload your book as a PDF or EPUB.

I built it myself instead of using something that already exists because I wanted it to work the way I needed. The apps I tried didn't work for me. They were basic, shallow, and missing the features I needed.

Making the app actually push me to read took 5 months of work instead of the 2 weeks I'd planned.

Here's what's in it:

* A brain character that gets weaker when you stop reading, gets stronger every time you read, and grows with you.

* Offline text-to-speech in 6 languages: English, French, Italian, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese. The English voices are great.

* AI quote extraction, also offline. It pulls out the best quotes and puts them on a home screen widget, so the book stays on your mind and you feel like you're living in it.

* Spark: a piece of knowledge you can read in 5 minutes, meant to get you talking about it later that night. You don't need to finish a book to say something interesting when you're out with people, and that convinces your brain you're a well-read person, which makes you want to read more.

* Translation, online or offline.

* Highlight the quotes you like, and when you finish the book it shows you everything you highlighted as a recap.

* Connect to your Calibre library on your PC and pull your books straight into the app, so you don't have to move files around by hand.

* Paid feature: chapter summaries in 5 key points, to help you understand the chapter or remember where you left off. If you're reading a novel, spoilers are hidden so the story isn't ruined, and you can reveal them if you want. And sync your progress across devices

I finished the first book of my life with this app. It made a real difference for me and cut my scrolling from 4 hours a day to an hour, sometimes less, so I wanted to share it with you.

The app is currently live on the Play Store and is very close to being in the closed testing phase for the App Store. The app name is FirstPage: Reading App Blocker

I would love to send you a redeem code to access the premium version of the app for free and to get your feedback.

I'd really appreciate any feedback or help.

Thanks for your time 🙏

Title: I'm 20M, dealing with family trauma, health issues and emotional attachment. How do I rebuild my life?

Hey everyone, I'm 20M, currently in my first year of BSc Zoology, and honestly, I'm feeling quite lost right now.

I was a very happy and adventurous kid growing up. I wanted to play sports, explore things, meet people and try different activities, but I never really got those opportunities. I also grew up in a joint family where there were constant fights, relationship issues, property disputes and financial problems. I don't blame everyone for everything, but I never really felt like I had a peaceful environment or someone I could completely open up to.

I lost my father when I was in Class 11. Around that period, I also developed a serious autoimmune disease, which I've been managing for about three years now. I couldn't crack NEET, which was one of my biggest goals. I wanted to get into a good college, move away from my current environment, become independent and build a better life for myself and my mother.

I'm now studying BSc Zoology in Jamshedpur, but I'm still trying to figure out my career, finances, health and future. I want to earn money, develop skills, become independent and hopefully get into a better college someday. I have some experience with AI filmmaking and basic video editing, but I don't know what to prioritise first.

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I get deeply attached to people. Growing up, I never really felt that I had a strong emotional support system, so whenever I find someone I can share everything with, I become very involved in that connection.

I've been hurt by friends and romantic interests several times. Recently, I also lost my best friend. We had been close for around one to one-and-a-half years and eventually decided to date. However, I knew she hadn't completely moved on from her previous situationship. I still thought we could make it work, but things didn't work out, and we lost both the relationship and the friendship.

I know she made mistakes too, and I don't think everything was my fault. But I also wonder whether I should have recognised the situation earlier and protected myself emotionally.

I've realised that I sometimes give people too much of myself because I want the same kind of connection in return. When things don't work out, I get completely broken. I've even changed parts of myself in the past because I wanted someone to stay, and I regret doing that.

Recently, I also had to arrange a permanent kennel for a pet my father had brought home. Because of our joint-family environment, I couldn't provide him with the space and care he needed. His behaviour became aggressive, and I got bitten too. It was a difficult experience, and although he's now being looked after, letting him go was painful.

Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly learning how to let go of people, opportunities, dreams and things I care about.

I don't want to keep living like this. I don't want a girlfriend or best friend to become the centre of my entire emotional world. But I also don't want to become cold or stop trusting people.

I want genuine connections, a healthy relationship someday, a good career and a peaceful life. I want to work on myself instead of constantly thinking about everything I've lost.

TL;DR: I'm 20M, grew up in a difficult joint-family environment, lost my father in Class 11 and have been managing a long-term autoimmune disease for around three years. I couldn't crack NEET, and I'm now studying BSc Zoology while trying to figure out my career and financial independence. I get deeply attached to people because I've always wanted a strong emotional support system. After several painful experiences, I recently lost my best friend after we tried dating, even though she hadn't fully moved on from her previous situationship. I also had to give up my pet because I couldn't provide the environment he needed. I'm tired of feeling stuck between my past, my health, relationships and career.

What should I work on first? How do I stop getting emotionally dependent on people, build trust and become independent while managing my health and college? I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice from people who've experienced something similar.

I stopped trying to fight the tension at home and just created a 5-minute shared calm routine instead.

I've been trying to stay sober while living with my girlfriend who still drinks. We call it the "oil and water" dynamic. The tension at night gets incredibly heavy.

I kept trying to fix it by talking about the big issues right before bed, which just made anxiety and frustration run the whole evening.

Last night we flipped it. Instead of fighting the storm, we sat down together and did a really basic joint routine for like 5 minutes — just a breathing exercise and tracking how we felt. We turned it into a game.

It was actually fun, peaceful, and we genuinely connected for the first time in a while.

Realizing that protecting my own serenity doesn't mean I have to constantly fight the storm. Sometimes it just means creating one tiny, healthy, shared moment of calm to lower the relationship strain.

If you're in a house with conflicting lifestyles/habits, try building one small structured thing you do together at the same time every day. It completely shifted the energy in the room for us.

Thank you for letting me share One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn