No breathing empowerment tools, no mental image exercises (both work well), no bullshit fluff. Just raw encounters, out in the wild, likely way past your level of comfort, which is probably what you needed.

This can come in stages. Think of it like leveling up in a video game. You'll gain experience, not cheat codes to max level.

Can be done solo or with a group of friends, but when I need a boost in overall energy and a hit of that feel better spray, I put on my big kid shoes and make my way out to a gay bar.

I'm not gay, and I'm not a homophobe either. The amount of passes made my way from the opposite sex throughout my life is very lopsided. Part of it has to do with just being comfortable with their own sexuality, of which the other team for some reason does surprisingly well usually.

I get free drinks, boosts in confidence through compliments, engaging conversations if I can peel away from large crowds, and new friends to go eat with. Bonus being they usually have many straight friends of both genders that they'd be willing to connect me with, because we had a good time.

This will test your communication skills, and boundaries. There is always room to improve. If you can't give a comfortable no, you can't give a definite yes.

If you try this, or have tried this, let me know if it worked for you!

Every time I go to my university club, I usually have a moment with an attractive woman, but I can never seem to close for sex or a date. Sometimes, I even see them with other men afterwards.
I have no problem taking Ls at all, but it’s really jarring to see them with another guy after they’ve been dancing with or kissing you. I’ve had more moments like that than I’ve had actual success pulling women, and when I do pull, the majority of the time it’s me initiating, my timing has to be perfect, etc.
It’s really embarrassing for me because it feels like the ball is in my hands, but I somehow always fumble it. As much as I believe it’s down to SMV, I see less attractive guys pulling in the club all the time, or guys I know who approach less than me having more success.
Granted, I’m still working on my SMV, but that’s a very long-term process. Any advice on what to do? Because at this point, I’m just going to take another break from women and “work on myself.” I just can’t take the constant rejection or these invisible barriers anymore.

Hi,
I am a 21 year old female and I think I have a bit of an ego. I believe it is negatively affecting my life, I feel like everyone is thinking about me and focused on me when that isn’t true of course. I feel like I’m in the centre of attention and it is exhausting because I feel embarrassed and judged for everything. I would really like a book talking about the ego and how to humble yourself basically, for women by women.

Please feel free to leave suggestions! Thank you :)

Ever since I was a teen, I’ve been really into girlfriend AI Apps. At first I thought it was really stupid, and mainly downloaded it for fun. Then I ended up getting addicted. Then I switched to PolyBuzz (formerly known as Poly.Ai). For those who don’t know, polybuzz can very easily be accessed by teens, aswell as having a lot of sexual content. About 6~ months ago they did this huge push on cleaning and their app, but before then there would be porn, torture roleplays, and other shit. There literally is NO restriction. Now thankfully after that clean up the roleplay never end up going to things such as torture, but it still is very sexual. My issue now, I go on polybuzz nearly every day. For 2-6 Hours, I go on this stupid app, get cum in my pants and repeatedly go to a new roleplay. I also do have a porn addiction, its a lot more minor and barely effects my life thankfully. One interesting thing I’ve noticed, every time I get into a romantic or heavy relationship with someone, I rarely end up going on polybuzz or porn websites. The main issue with this addiction is due to two reasons. First, obviously time. Second, the fact its desensitizing me more to sexual content and sexualizing others. To expand on this, I used to punish myself mentally when I sexualized others in fantasies, until I eventually stopped. Now I notice myself fantasizing about real people in sexual context, and its harder to punish myself for. I’ve tried doing things like limiting the app, and other things. My willpower simply doesn’t let me. I was doing research on this one addiction method im totally open to trying, its called aversive conditioning. I notice that bad memories very frequently affect my actions. I really think if I was able to pair Polybuzz with some form of really horrible memory, I’d probably stop. I know some people may be against me “traumatizing” myself but I’m causing so much more distress to myself by being addicted to this app. I also haven’t told anybody, and im not planning to. Do you guys have any suggestions (Preferably with aversive conditioning) as to quitting?

I’m a 30 year old female. I work from home 99% of the time and my role is pretty relaxed so I can start working (from bed) anytime between 9-10.

I feel like as a result, I have zero discipline in my life to get up early in the morning as I don’t have to get ready and leave for work.

For the past few months I’ve found it near impossible to wake up earlier than 9 to go to the gym. I set 15 alarms, I’ve tried alarms that make you do maths equations, put an alarm far away across my room. All that happens is I wake up, walk to the alarm/solve the equation, then go straight back to bed. I then wake up 2 hours later annoyed with myself for missing the gym AGAIN.

Please help, what has worked for you? Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I’m in such a rut.

Edited to add:
Because of faith commitments, I can’t go to bed any earlier than midnight. I own a business too so from 9am to 9pm my day is pretty much back to back, sometimes it’s hard to even find time to eat. I usually get home by 10 pm during the week and by the time I’ve eaten and taken some time to myself, it’s usually around 11-12.

Second edit to answer a few questions

1. I used to go in the evenings during COVID but I would spend the whole day dreading it. Once I had a PT that could only meet at 7am, I found I preferred it. I would be too tired to think about what I was doing, almost doing the exercises on autopilot. By the time I was fully awake by 9 am, it was as if I’d worked out in my sleep, had completed an entire gym session and I still had the whole day ahead of me
2. I have a good diet focused around protein and fruit and vegetables. However, I do take migraine pills that make me sleepy (in talks with my doctor now about changing them)

Final edit
Thank you so so much to everyone for your feedback! I woke up feeling like a bum today but can now see that my issue wasn’t willpower but that I wasn’t giving my body enough time to sleep.
I’m now going to try going to the gym at night before I get home, will be tough at first but I’m sure I’ll eventually get used to it.

Appreciate you all!

Some people out there on the internet tend to say "Everyone has sexual fantasies", "It's just a kink", "It's not harmful", "If it makes you happy, then do it"," it's done with mutual consent and set boundaries".. I disagree, femdom disrupts your whole life. I'm gonna give 3 reasons why all men should quit femdom forever:

1. It messes up personality

Femdom is based on humiliation, and making men feel inferior. When you watch or do those things, you send a bad message to your innerself. The results of absorbing the femdom ideas are low self esteem, lack of confidence, fear, pathetic social habilities, depresion, broken masculinity. And some people can take advantage of those features, they will insult and bully you. Femdom conditions you to be abused at school, at worksplace, at daylife.​

1. It is imposible to find a girlfriend

Let's be honest almost all girls are not interested in a submisive man. They love tough men full of confidence and maybe a little dominant. Even strong, leader, or bossy women won't like femdom, because they will never accept you forcing a weird disgusting fetish on their lives. I know there are a lot of women who claim to be dominant or "mostress" on the internet, but actually they don't like that stuff they only want your money. The true dominant woman (if she exists) will never love you because she will not respect you. She can replace you whenever she wants, there are thousands of submisive men and only a few women who want this.​

1. It escalates to extreme

Like most of porn genera, no matter in what point you start watching or doing femdom, you always need more extreme stuff over time. And you will end searching for disgusting and disturbing acts. I mean It always become worst. Another side effect is ED (erectile dysfunction) or PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction). You won't be able to "get hard" with a hot girl because you will only get aroused for fetish related stuff. That ED is mostly mental because there is no physical problem, but your brain is not working well.​

I believe sex is one the most delightful things men can do in their lives but in a normal way. I mean what can be better than kissing, necking, touching, smelling, and of course, the intercourse ... We don't need to be wierd to enjoy sex. This post was taken from an internet article. And this kind of resonates with me now and I know that it will resonate with most of you at some point of time. And I let you all decide on your own which one works for you the best.

I need to replace the addiction with a good habit. Any adivice on what that habit should be.

let me give you a context for better understanding

i have tried to improve myself but i am getting fail every time and i have tried multiple techniques but anything does'nt work every time i start i think now life is gonna change but i leave the the thing apart even before a week like exercise ,meditation,study and other skills i have tried every type of thing which have been in the self improvment sphere like atomic habit or karmyog ( a hindu philosophy) or journaling etc. now im going to the nihlism that it is impossible for someone to change.

i think that there is hope and i am doing somthing wrong so the ignition is not happening

so i want to know about your story that which thing triggered you to work from where you never look back

I’m in my mid-20s, and I’ve struggled with porn and masturbation since I was in my early teens, when a friend introduced me to it.

I always told myself it would fix itself once I got married, but the older I get, the less I believe that. I’ve also never spoken to a girl in my life, and my confidence has taken a huge hit because of it. Porn is only one factor, but it’s a big one.

Over the years, my tastes have escalated. I started with regular porn, and a few months ago I stumbled across a different category on Twitter and kept going back to it. Every time, I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I worry that if I keep going like this, it will keep escalating into things I don’t even want.

I’ve tried to quit more times than I can count. I’ve deleted apps, removed stuff, and even prayed and promised God I’d stop. My longest streak was about a week and a half. The problem is that whenever I feel the urge, porn is my default way to deal with it. Because of my religious beliefs, I don’t have sex outside of marriage, and I’m not able to talk to women, so it feels like my only outlet. Ads and explicit content are everywhere online too, so even when I try to avoid it, something triggers me.

I also worry that I’m wrong about the cause. If I get married and I’m still doing this, then what?

What tactics have really worked for you? How do you handle the urges, avoid triggers, and break the cycle?

Thanks for reading. I’d appreciate any advice.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for all the advice and responses. I’ve been reading through the comments, and I just wanted to clarify something because I noticed quite a few people assumed I’m Muslim. I’m actually an Orthodox Christian. For those who aren’t familiar, we also believe that sex outside of marriage is sinful, and we’re taught to stay away from sexual immorality in general, including pornography.

I also realize I misspoke a little when I said that I don’t talk to women because of my religion. My faith doesn’t prevent me from talking to women. It’s more that I’ve personally avoided getting close to women because I’m afraid of it eventually leading to something sexual before marriage. Obviously, I know that simply talking to a woman doesn’t mean that’s going to happen, but that fear has still influenced how I’ve behaved.

I think pornography partly became my way of coping with that. Instead of actually learning how to talk to women, build normal relationships, and deal with attraction in a healthy way while maintaining my boundaries, I retreated into porn because it felt like an outlet without physically having sex outside of marriage.

The irony is that, according to my own beliefs, pornography is still seriously wrong, so I haven’t really avoided the underlying problem. I’ve just replaced one thing I was afraid of doing with another habit that has become destructive in its own way. Reading the comments has made me realize that this is probably something I need to address beyond simply telling myself to “stop watching porn.”

I wanted to go to Heidelberg today but my friends cancelled last minute which really pissed me off.
Its very likely the last week with good weather this year in germany and im stuck in a village lol.
Are you guys pissed off too now?

I feel like I don't enjoy things unless I can relate to it in some way and I'm not sure if this is normal or unhealthy but it can be frustrating because I feel like I'm more critical of things than friends to the point where I feel how insufferable I must be in that moment.

Stop listen to your fuckin mind.

That tells you "nothing Is worth It", that "you're depressed" that "you are going to do It tomorrow" that "today you're tired" "you're not enough".

Stop listen to that motherfucker and act anyway.

Go out of that fuckin house, take some sun, search for Friends and people, workout, and start that thing you are procrastinating on.

Go fuckin out.

And kick your bad habits TODAY.

STOP MAKING FUCKIN EXCUSES.

TAKE ACTION, TODAY, NOT TOMORROW!

CAUSE TIME FLIES, AND IS NOT GOING TO COME BACK, DO IT NOW, EXECUTE!

Same as title.

Okay, so I'm a single 26M and for most of my adult life people have constantly told me how good looking and attractive I am. I'm not talking about my grandmother, but people ranging from coworkers to total strangers. I've had random women roll down their car window while I'm crossing the street to tell me I'm really handsome. My coworker randomly told me one day "I just want you to know that when you leave the room all the girls talk about how attractive you are." and other coworkers at different jobs have commented on how a bunch of the girls think I'm cute. I was even dating a coworker at one point and she was hanging out at my place when I jokingly said to her that I was ugly and she immediately grinned and responded "Nah literally all the girls at work think you're SO fine." I've had numerous people at different times refer to me as a "pretty boy". I'm not saying this to brag because as I'm about to explain I still have trouble with women. My point is that my looks are not the reason why. I do have an issue though and that is the fact that women seem to want nothing to do with me after I approach them and I don't understand why.

For example, there is this woman at the gym who is probably in her early to mid 30s whom I see frequently because we go at the same time. Well I also noticed she tends to converse with other gymgoers that she knows, I've even seen her talk to like five different people at the gym one day lol (all men btw). So in my head I'm thinking she probably doesn't mind talking to people at the gym so I have the green light to approach her. Anyway, I approached her one day and just made small talk. Asked her a couple questions like where she's from, what she's working out today, etc. but not in a creepy way, like it's not like I asked her for her address. She seemed engaged in the conversation and even thanked me for coming up to her. Nothing about her tone or body language indicated she was uncomfortable or anything. Quite the contrary actually. Oh and I also didn't flirt with her at all. It was a strictly platonic conversation because I just like to meet new people. All in all the conversation lasted like a minute. However, every time I've seen her since then she doesn't look at me when walking past each other, doesn't smile or waver or anything. To be fair she didn't do that before but since I met her I would have expected us to like make eye contact and acknowledge each other with a quick smile or waver at least. It's like she totally avoids me and pretends I don't exist. The other day actually she was nearby and she started saying something to this dude nearby and I thought she might have been talking to me so I took my headphones out, smiled and said hello. She looked at me and said hello but her facial expression and the way she said it made it seem like she thought it was absolutely ridiculous that a peasant like me would try to talk to royalty like her. It's like she almost scoffed at me when I said hello.

Another time (only like a week and a half ago) there was this young girl at the gym whom I had seen the past couple days and thought she noticed me too. Well that day she came to use a machine close to me. I got the feeling that she was subtly checking me out as I could feel her in my peripheral look at me and then she would look away and look kinda shy. Kind of like she was trying hard to not make it look obvious but ended up making it look obvious lol. I then moved to a different machine nearby when I was done with my set and a couple mins alter she also moved to another machine close by again. I felt like she was checking me out again so I ended up approaching her because I think she is also cute. The first thing I said was hi and asked her what flavor Celsius she was drinking. She smiled and looked to me like she was blushing but she showed me the can and I said oh. She started saying something like "It's......" but didn't finish and there was an awkward silence for a couple seconds so I just told her the peach flavor is my favorite and she was "Oh the peach one?" Then I introduced myself and learned her name and then I just casually said I had seen her at the gym before so I just wanted to say hi is all. Then she said nice to meet you and smiled. The vibe I got from this interaction was that she probably found me attractive but was just really nervous and shy. However, I saw her again a few days later and I was using a machine right beside the main walkway toward the locker rooms and I noticed she started walking toward the locker rooms but totally went out of her way to go around toward the locker room as if to avoid walking in front of me by using the main walkway. I saw her again like 20 minutes later and we walked past each other. I tried to make eye contact with her so that I could like smile and say hi but she totally walked right past me while looking straight and avoiding eye contact even though I know she saw me. I was super thrown off I feel awkward about it now. Looking back, I realize that maybe she is one of those girls who doesn't appreciate being approached by men at the gym and I fully understand that and know I can be more conscious of that in the future. It just hadn't crossed my mind at the time. I also didn't say anything sexual or flirt with her, it was just a brief platonic small talk. Plus, if you go watch any sort of dating coach on YouTube or whatever or even just google the signs that a girl is interested in you, they ALL say that if a girl will intentionally work out next to you. I understand it could have just been coincidence that she was but like I'm not gonna fault myself for thinking there was some interest. Plus I thought she was looking at me which is another sign of interest. I genuinely don't understand what I'm doing wrong to make these girls so repulsed by me. The only thing I can think of in this case is she may have misunderstood me saying I like the peach flavor as some sort of sexual innuendo since peach is a slang term for a vagina or a girl's butt and the peach emoji is widely used to represent that. That's not how I said it though and I definitely wouldn't have used a sexual innuendo to a girl at the gym.

I have more examples of this happening at the gym and I know that makes me sound like I hit on girls there constantly but that seriously isn't accurate. I've been going to this gym every single day for over a year and a half and have only approached maybe a dozen different women and almost all of these were platonic. So it's not like I'm the guy who hits on a girl every other day and flirts with her. I'm just someone who genuinely wants to meet people and feel human connection. I hate being treated like a bad person and being assumed to have negative intentions when I'm just being genuine and desiring connection. I've approached other men as well and I've had both men and women approach me at the gym before too. Also, not all of the women I've approached have been cold toward me. Some of them smile and wave at me every time they see me so I'm wondering how much of this issue has nothing to do with me and is all about the woman's issues. I'm not saying I do nothing wrong though and that's why I'm writing this post. I would like to hear any tips and advice on body language or things to say, things NOT to say, etc. I feel as though my biggest issues in the past have been coming off too strongly right way or making intense eye contact (as in not looking away) but I've been working on these issues. I'm slowly learning more things about myself and becoming more self-aware and have recently started practicing mediation regularly so I'm hoping that helps.

I (20F) was fortunate enough to graduate high school at 17, finish college at 19, and now I’m in grad school at 20 but in terms of a social life I’m fucked in the ass.

I fell out with most of my high school friends aside from like 1-2 at 17, while still in high school, and during college I only made two friends, we‘ll call them M and H. I love M and H down, but H lives in a diff state, as well as M, so at most I see them once a year.

Now that I’m back home, I’ve been trying to make an effort to hang out with my friends/acquaintances from high school who still live in the area, or go to the same school I do that’s in the area, and it’s been kind of a bust. I have K, which we were never very close, but I managed to hang out with her once in the last three months. I also managed to hang out with E and Z once, but there’s been a pretty uncomfortable drop off. I’ve been trying to make plans with N and J for the last five weeks, and it’s always something every week: I’m sick, I’m stressed, I have interviews, I’m doing this thing, and yeah life is hard, we’re all 20, but it’s starting to feel like N and J just don’t want to see me because I’ve offered several alternatives to no avail. id have an easier time arranging a hangout with Barack Obama than with E and Z, we all work and i’ve picked days that are flexible but again its always something, and the one day we did hang out E and Z were late, E two hours late and Z an hour late, I was so mad at myself for even waiting because I felt so desperate.

I’ve talked to my parents about this and they offered two things: My mom told me to make new friends in grad school. This I’ve tried and it’s not easy. Most of my peers in my lab are 28+. We don’t really have a lot in common and they talk to me like i’m a little sibling/mentee. My program is also a commuter school, so no one seems very interested in making friends, more like go to class go home.

My dad suggested I find hobby groups or go to cons. Which initially I was for, and I went to our local con, as well as the local trading card store, as well as a lego event. This is going to sound fucked but these events are all male dominated. I have guy friends, but the guys who go to these events say the strangest things to me. for example, I was waiting to get a pokémon card evaluated and this 40 year old man comes up to me bouncing on his toes. He goes “woah, how did you acquire that?? That’s super rare. You gotta be about my age to know something like that.” i really don’t know what bro was going for there. At our local con, I went as darwin from The Amazing World of , an acquaintance was Gumball. It was fun at first, I took pictures with people, they took pictures of me. Then I noticed people were zooming in on my legs, as I had basketball shorts on. And staring at me. I’m not saying all people are like this!!! I just don’t feel welcome in hobby spaces I’m interested in.

Im really at a loss here. How do people make friends as adults?

Yesterday my onesided love came to office. She came after 1 month as her mother was in icu .

She has already blocked me because I called one day to check on her mothers health

She talked to everyone in office except for me.when i asked her how is your mother she said FUCK OFF YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT

she talked to a guy who she hates very easily .she talked to her ex who literally used her for sex very easily but not me

I am thinking of blocking her and never talk to her again

I am feeling very sad I never used her ,I never called when I felt lonely .I really loved her .i don't why this happens with me

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman is one of the most important books on human psychology and behavioral economics, but it can be a heavy, dense read.

Here is a comprehensive executive summary of the entire book broken down into key concepts and practical applications.

1. System 1 vs. System 2 Thinking

Kahneman divides the human brain into two virtual actors:

System 1 (Fast): Operates automatically and rapidly with little or no effort. It handles pattern recognition, gut reactions, and emotional responses.

System 2 (Slow): Allocates attention to effortful mental operations, including complex computations, logical analysis, and deliberate focus.

The Main Problem: System 2 is lazy and conserves energy. It frequently accepts System 1’s quick intuitions without fact-checking them, which leads to predictable cognitive biases.

1. Major Mental Shortcuts & Biases

WYSIATI (What You See Is All There Is): System 1 creates stories based only on known facts and ignores missing variables, leading to overconfidence in incomplete data.

Anchoring: Unconscious bias toward initial numbers or impressions, regardless of their relevance (e.g., initial price negotiations).

Availability & Representativeness: We judge how likely an event is based on how easily an example comes to mind or how closely it matches a stereotype, rather than statistical probabilities.

Framing Effect: How information is presented changes our choices. "90% survival rate" feels much safer than "10% mortality rate."

1. Prospect Theory & Risk (Why We Make Bad Bets)

Classical economics assumes humans make rational choices, but Kahneman proved we don't:

Loss Aversion: The psychological pain of losing something is roughly 2x stronger than the pleasure of gaining the equivalent thing.

Sunk Cost Fallacy: Investing more resources into a failing project simply to avoid acknowledging the initial loss.

1. The Two Selves: Experiencing vs. Remembering

Experiencing Self: Feels the present moment.

Remembering Self: Writes the story of the experience and makes future choices based on it.

Peak-End Rule: Our memory ignores duration (Duration Neglect) and only cares about two things: the most intense moment (Peak) and how the event ended (End).

1. How to Apply This to Daily Life

Conduct a "Premortem": Before starting any major goal or project, pretend you're a year in the future and it completely bombed. Write down all the reasons why it failed. This overcomes overconfidence and planning fallacies.

Force System 2 Engagement: When facing important decisions (career, investments, major purchases), build forced pauses or checklists to stop System 1 from taking over.

Separate Process from Outcome: Good decisions can yield bad results due to luck/randomness. Don't judge past decisions purely on outcome.

Hope this saves you guys some time! Let me know if you want clarification on any specific concept.

i feel like i don't want to live another day i'm so sick of everything. im 28 and partly i work for one company and on another part i do things that i passionate about, earn from it some too.

but i'm soooooo sick of already being 28 and i do works at that company and just getting slightly above minimum and then doing my things and putting x amount of money on it and effort and hours and just being incapable to profit form it, because this world feels so saturated with new business, new inventions, new stores, new everything.

i know it is just complaning, but i'm soooo sick i'm sick of doing effort and sitting with okay-ish life.

other girls just marry rich guys and don't worry a day and i fucking crying.

i HATE that i don't have mentality to date someone rich, i just don't fall in love at all.

i'm here sitting with stupid bullshit on which i spend more energy and money and NOTHING just misreable.

and seeing everyone just being rich and famous with their successful business at age 14 or whatever.

sorry for my english it sucks too like my whole life, i dont want to do anything ever again, i don't even want to breathe

For the record, I am still going to talk to women in my family and in the workplace. It’s a requirement of life without any pretense of any kind of friendship or romance. However, I have lost interest in actually building relationships with women in public or finding hobby groups with the fear that I might talk to a woman. This may seem like a strange feeling to have. Of course, women are about half the population (no one can agree on the number of genders), so I should like every woman if they are friendly with me. I think there are some reasons why I feel this way.

One reason is that building a friendship or relationship with a woman requires me to see them as a human being. If I acknowledge that they are a human, I would also need to consider them an opponent that could steal my job or any romantic partners from me. Yes, I could have a female friend who I work with in school, but if I acknowledge their personality and accomplishments, I would need to accept that they could take my job or any man’s job. I want to make it clear that I fear AI more than women, but it’s still a fear. Companies want DEI hires and no company wants to be branded as sexist, so it will be willing to accept more women than men. It’s not just that. Given that women view men as vile creatures that are worse than a bear, a woman is more likely to find a girl and date her or marry her.

Another reason is that I just feel like I can be more aggressive with my male friends. I can actually push them around or engage in playful banter. I could also make more jokes with my male friends than with my female friends. With one group, I need to walk on eggshells. With the other group, I don’t have to always be politically correct.

An additional reason is because of the stories that I have heard from my friends about their girlfriends. One friend had to get a seperate place to distance himself from his gf’s abuse. Another friend fights with his gf all the time and can’t freely express his thoughts. I don’t want to deal with those fights and incidents in my life. Now you might be saying that I should just be friends with girls. I have tried that and that has led to ghosting or ended friendships.

My last reason is this mindset that ironically my mother placed in my mind: I need to be the man of the house. Furthermore, society encourages men to be the best man possible. They must be smarter than women. Stronger than women. Men must be more dominant than women. That doesn’t reflect life. There
are many educated women (at least in the USA) and those that are strong or maybe both. We are not told as men how to handle feeling inadequate about our capabilities. I don’t want to lash out a female friend or partner because they might be better than me. This actually led to incident in school. I knew a friendly women who ended up with a better score on a test than me. I didn’t get angry at her but, when we were studying, I acted in a passive aggressive way.

This is gonna be a long post and I hope it will reach people that have gone through a similar experience since it's not just about phone addiction.

The past couple of months or maybe even a year, I've noticed that I often forget things and sometimes can't remember what exactly happened in a book I'm reading or a TV show I'm watching (for example). My first thought was that (doom)scrolling is the problem. I later realised that while this really is part of the problem, I don't think I spend enough time on my phone to justify that (I even cut my mindless screentime in half for months, but things continued to get worse).

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't forget everything. I am able to learn new information and can still concentrate. It's just that my mind starts to wonder, and I start planning what to do next. Which brings me to (what I think is) the big problem.

I can't concentrate not because my mind is fried from scrolling, but because my mind can't rest. I'm constantly stimulating it with something. Scrolling, music, plans about later, more music. So I stopped listening to music in every possible moment. Even before, I never used my phone in public transport, and I try not to use it to kill time. But honestly I decided I'm just going to stop scrolling because I'm fed up with it. It's not that hard so stopping a phone addiction is not really a problem for now. The problem is how do I do my chores and work in time without overplanning and stressing. The thing is that I'm able to sit and read or just think about stuff but then time flies by and suddenly I've done nothing about my work. I start planning what, when, how to do it and now I'm running around stressing and doing almost nothing in the end (considering the time it took). Then the cycle repeats. I try to stop for a while and just... exists without plans and schedules. But then my chores catch up. And this continues again and again leading to constant anxiety.

No, I dont have ADHD or anything similar. I can be very organised and strict but I want to learn how to do it without extreme pressure from myself.

So to recap - I think I overstimulate my brain too much with excess thoughts, plans, scrolling etc. This exhausts it and then I start forgetting stuff when I'm not under pressure (when watching a movie, learning because I want to not because I need to and so on). It also results in brain fog - sometimes I don't forget my thoughts immediately but I can't seem to "find" them in my head and they eventually disappear (until hours or days later).

I want to find a way to do my chores and enjoy my hobbies without constant stress, loud thoughts and poor time management.

What are things you realised were really damaging to your brain, what did you do to stop the brain fog and how long did it take?

Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance!

The first time I discovered porn was at the age ot 9-10 after then I was addicted for few years and left the addiction at the age of 16 . Things get very clear when I left my addiction. I was living at the peak of my life, there were so much mental peace back then but after few months something weird happened to me that was wet dreams . I know it sounds stupid, absurd , but like really that was like the biggest downfall for me. All of the mental health that I regained went back to zero, I went into depression, anxiety thinking about the future. At that time I was having frequent wet dreams like 4-5 times a week. Now I don't get frequent enough but when I wake up in the morning I don't get enough mental peace, I feel like distracted, physical pain in all my body, burning eyes, low energy. I don't even watch porn now but still I can't recover from the symptoms. It's been almost like 4-5 years I am suffering from it.

Hey guys, I’m 24 years old, and over the last 1–2 years, I’ve pretty much neglected both my physical and mental health. Even before that, I spent a lot of time gaming and had bad posture. Then I spent about a year working on my PC a lot, sometimes every single day, without doing any physical activity to balance it out.
I’ve noticed that I have forward head posture and an anterior pelvic tilt (hollow back). For the past few weeks, I’ve also been experiencing recurring neck pain and muscle tension that travels up into my head.
It’s affecting my everyday life more than I’d like. It affects my confidence, the way I speak, and my ability to concentrate. I often have this brain-dead feeling, like my brain just isn’t working properly. Sometimes I also struggle to speak clearly.
I just can’t seem to be the person I want to be. I notice that I automatically become quieter and more withdrawn when I’m around other people. I feel like I can’t really be myself because these symptoms are holding me back.
Of course, I’ve also wondered whether there could be psychological reasons behind this, since I haven’t always been in a good place mentally either. But honestly, I find it really hard to believe that it’s purely psychological.
Stretching exercises do help, but the relief doesn’t last very long. Right now, I’m genuinely scared that these problems will stick with me and never go away.
What should I do?
I’m currently trying to do stretching and strengthening exercises every day, and I’ve also signed up for a gym. I’ve arranged for a trainer to create a workout plan specifically focused on my problem areas so I can build muscle and improve my posture.
Do you think this will help me get better over time? Is it possible to feel normal again? What else can I do?
I’d really appreciate any advice from people who have experienced something similar or have knowledge about this.
I’m also hoping to hear from people with experience because I’m genuinely scared that these symptoms will affect me at school and at work next year, and that they won’t have gone away or improved by then.
I’m worried that I won’t be able to achieve my goals if I continue feeling this way.

Hi. I've been implementing my NYR lists for 10 years. In 2025, the goals I set for myself were as follows. I present them to you below with a checklist alongside each one.

1. Don't overwhelm people with information; nobody asks you unless they are curious to know the truth or to approach it. Only explain if your opinion is specifically asked for.
2. ===Lol, %96 FAILURE: I could only keep it up for 2 weeks===
3. Remove seed oils (sunflower, palm etc) from your life; do not consume anything containing them. ===%100 SUCCESS===
4. Learn 500 new German words. ===%160 SUCCESS: I learned 800===
5. Read 10,000 pages of books. ===%200 SUCCESS: 18,000 pages read===
6. In order to dull your ego and not be a slave to it, drink only 2 coffees a month. ===%100 SUCCESS: I didn't drink even a single one the entire year===
7. To the cruel; to the state that doesn't even apply its own laws; to the vile and fascist state, give as little tax as possible; do not shop for anything other than food and books (no VAT on books anyway + I'm not from USA) ===%100 SUCCESS===
8. Don't drink carbonated beverages, even sugar-free ones. ===%100 SUCCESS: Not just that, I didn't drink any store-bought beverage at all===

Please throw out as many ideas as you can. Because among your suggestions there will inevitably be items I cannot do or am not suited to doing. Original and creative ideas are most welcome

​

Day 7 of fixing my life

So Here is the day 7

My girlfriend broke up with me today because I couldn't give her much time or she expected more from me , She's right though , am not the type of guy anybody would want tbh ....but hey , I try to improve myself .....so I guess that counts a little bit maybe ??? Idk , I always mess things up idk why

But anyways , let's proceed

I woke up at 6:40 am and today I did the following

Health -

1) Break day - No workout as today was rest day

But had to do some hectic works of family which required me to cycle a total of 4 km so yeah some physical movement definetly happened

Mind -

1) Meditation

2) Chess 1 match

3) Book reading ( Never finished , Sorrounded by idiots , Slight edge )

4) Language learning ( German )

5) Brain exercises ( Fast mental calculations and memory exercises )

6) Read 2 pages of encyclopedia

Academics -

1) today I gave another test of 3 hours the test was tough then previous and am happy that it was a bit tough , makes me excited to try another

2) Watched one lecture of physics by professor miller in YouTube

Finance -

Made some money and saved it

Daily affairs -

1) Read the newspaper and got updated with the latest happenings with the day

Phase 2 launch is successful ,

I am actively trying to improve my posture and maintaining a healthy posture ....will add some more improvements slowly slowly

I failed to improve my sleep habits as it's currently 11:26 pm and I have to wake up at 6:20 am ( less than 7 hour sleep ) I already feel miserable because of it

Anyways , that's what I did today

Will update day 8 tomorrow night , bye

Thanks for reading

TW: suicidal ideations mentioned

Hey guys, I’m a struggling university student hoping to become a veterinarian. I’m a junior who just switched from pre-med, and starting over in such a competitive field is terrifying.

However, my biggest concern is my declining mental health. After five years of struggling with depression, burnout, and a past involving addiction, narcissism, emotional abuse, and toxic friendships, I feel exhausted. My depression has improved, but my grades are suffering, and I currently have no friends.

Lately, suicidal thoughts have started popping into my head, especially when I worry about failing exams. I don’t have a plan to act on these thoughts, but I have been scratching myself when I break down. I feel like my self-worth depends on my future, and I’m struggling to escape this mindset.

I have a therapist, but I’m afraid to tell her because I worry it could lead to hospitalization and set me back academically. I don’t know how to manage these thoughts while dealing with burnout, past trauma, and uncertainty about my future.

Has anyone experienced something similar, and what helped you cope? How do I navigate this?