My bestie told me recently that she hates asking questions at work cuz she’s afraid she’s “burdening people with her confusion.” (Her words.) At the same time, she faces the consequences of not seeking clarification early on when situations drag on or escalate, which is also a stressor for her. And people will just end up telling her, “why didn’t you ask me earlier?”

Asking questions for clarification has actually been a strength of mine since I was a kid, so I can’t really relate. ISFJs, please advise! 🙂

Im an ISFJ, and i look very generic - no tattoos (though i hope to get some soon), no piercings really (though i do have two open holes in each earlobe, I just dont wear earrings at all anymore). My clothing style is all over the place, some days i look a little emo and some days i look "conventional" i guess, but i just wear what i like and put a lot of effort into coordinating my outfits so they match.

Although i went through the phase where i dyed my hair crazy colors years ago, im over it now, im back to my natural hair color, and I wear my hair in a very basic manner. (The frequent bleaching and hair dying phase didn't really feel like me though, if im being honest.. and it fried my hair too, so due to the hair frying i dont recommend it)

However, in spite of all this, I love what i guess would fall under hard/alt rock and metalcore music... but when I divulge this fact about me to other people, they usually say that I dont "look" like I listen to that type of music at all. I dont branch out very much and i tend to listen to the same stuff over and over, because the familiarity soothes my Dom Si, and even though the music may sound heavy and angry, it actually calms me down most of the time.

So yeah, i just want to know if anyone can relate.

Jae from the new show ‘Avatar: Seven Havens’ is an ISFJ!! And he’s one of the main characters (currently is the main character)! I just find this really exciting since whenever ISFJ’s are put in shows, then they are almost always a side character.

Side note: Some people have some gripes about the animation of this show, since it’s not as fluid as Avatar the Last Airbender or Legend of Korra, but I find that the show is still really enjoyable! I recommend it.

There’s something refreshing about seeing an ISFJ in the spotlight (even though ISFJ’s ironically, usually hate being in the spotlight themselves, Lol). We’re finally getting some representation. Yayay!!! He’s also kickass too!

I’m not here to offend anyone. By the way, I know I wasn’t the first to write about it. I’ve read reports of men who, after being typed as ISFJ, went into denial, as much as the description was totally compatible with them. I identified with that. I didn’t expect to be typed like that, although now I would accept more. I don’t want to sound prejudiced, but the first time I saw about this type, I felt that this type doesn’t exude masculinity. And being masculine is something that society, especially in the cultures of some countries, demands excessively. I’m from a country that demands this a lot; I identify myself as a man, I’m married, but I’ve been called gay a lot. Today I don’t give importance to it anymore, and I have nothing against it.

I'm writing a story where people have to solve murders, and I'm thinking about making one of the central mystery-solvers in the group an ISFJ.

So I wanted to get your opinion on

a) Could an ISFJ be a good detective, and why?

b) What would an ISFJ's strengths be as a detective?

I predict probably observation could be a big one, but I'm not sure.

I created a typing test that works based on what you resonate with, it gives you a feed of cards with statements, quotes, scenario, and you select only the ones you resonate with, this way the cognitive load is very low , also the feed adapt to funnel down your type, you just select what you think is related to you.

I tested with an INFP friend that I am 100% sure she is INFP and it worked very well, it found her type with confidence, but I need more data points to be sure, with people that are 100% sure of their type.

At the end of the test, in the result page, you will have a frame that ask you to share your result, with a simple button. It will send me the informations I need in my database, it gives me all the cards you selected, the timeline of the guess of your type, how the algorithm reacted, etc, it helps me to fine-tune the test.

I really feel that this method can work and be more accurate than anything that already exist.

Thank you in advance if you try it.

https://www.mazwiz.com/

PS: I will share the findings in a result page (on the intro page), for everybody to see how it evolves.

Hey guys, ENTP here 👋 I just want to say, you guys are the sweetest. So much so that it gets kind of confusing when I try to figure out if I hurt or offend you. My Fe tertiary is making me overthink as to whether my bluntness is too much for you guys. The reason I have no idea is because in my experience, ISFJs respond to harshness with softness, and they are massive worriers over making the other party feel bad so they sugarcoat when I’d rather have it straight. Like for example, I have to read between the lines of what an ISFJ is saying to see if I did something wrong, because they will try to soften the blow and praise other points without outright telling me what I did wrong. Once they finally say it, they immediately try to make me feel better with various tactics, but then this just makes me feel worse off because I’d like to know when I do something wrong, and how wrong it was so I can respond and adjust accordingly. So questions:

1. When you are hurt or offended, how do you typically act? Does it depend on if it’s family, friends, etc?
2. What things do ENTPs do that most annoy/offend/hurt you?
3. I have an instinct (not trying to pigeonhole myself or the ENTP community, I know not all of them do this) to automatically want to advocate for the other side of the argument whenever someone brings a claim up. It’s great for revealing biases and promoting critical thinking, nuance, and self reflection but I can’t help but think it may come off as annoying sometimes since it can seem like I’m just being a contrarian. Would you find this behavior annoying?
4. Do you guys genuinely tend to act this way (as in what I wrote in the first paragraph) or is my experience an outlier?
5. What would you like to see from ENTPs and general Ti users so we can foster better relationships?

Thanks guys, love you all, you’re one of my favorite types 🫶

ETA: Hey guys, thanks for the replies. I think I needed to clarify some points. When I mean I automatically play devils advocate, I don’t mean in personal situations—in those cases I try my best to empathize and validate the other person’s feelings. I meant when someone sends a reel or makes a claim about something.
I also wonder, have you ever been in a situation where you avoided confronting a person about something and thus let it keep happening, but built up resentment from it?
And finally, a critical point: someone who stirs up drama for the sake of it isn’t exhibiting ENTP behavior, they’re just immature people. Difference is, ENTPs do it for the sake of finding out the truth, engaging in the process of discussion for more discovery, picking up new perspectives, and as a way of processing their own. No one should care about winning an argument just for the ego boost.

Keep Going Keep your chin up!

Do you have conversation topics stored in your head based on what people around you usually talk about? Rather than coming up with something more random?

Do you ever feel depressed due to not using enough imagination? Can this be an ISFJ thing?

This video popped up on my feed today, and it described a tendency very common in ISFJs (though it can apply to anyone).

The idea of doing everything for everyone else, having trouble saying no, having trouble accepting help, and the feeling of it all building up to resentment over time.

What I liked about the video is that it talks about why some of the usual solutions can be so difficult and don't work as well in practice....just learning to set boundaries, trying to say no, trying to use self care, etc.

The idea presented was one I had never heard before...the idea of schema. This is basically a set of rules that's all in our heads that we follow that other people don't, most likely learned from childhood.

The video is 45 minutes long, so I'll just mention some of the strategies at the end. I found the whole thing really interesting though.

The idea is to be aware of these schema and to hopefully build some new ones. The idea being that they're basically the root cause of a lot of this behavior, and trying to work on other things without addressing them just feels like fighting against the tide.

The first thing is just to be aware of them, so that you can start noticing the patterns, and hopefully in the moment start recognizing when you're relying on the schema almost as an instinct, like a survival mechanism.

The second is to recognize the absence of reciprocity...and how it feels comfortable but not good. Almost like recognizing that you're trying to "stay one step ahead". Like how you feel like when you've both done something for one another, the urge to do something for them to "Get ahead". And it feels "safe" that you're not "in debt" to them...but how this is where the resentment comes from.

The third builds on that...the idea of just letting something be equal, and resist the urge to "get ahead'. And even moreso...to let someone else "get ahead"..and instead of doing something for them, just say thank you and leave it at that.

In fact, he pointed out that if this feels really uncomfortable, it may mean that it was something you learned before you evne learned to talk, which I found really interesting.

The fourth is learning to relax and recover without guilt or purpose. To not relax because it will recharge you so you can do more things for others. To not relax so you can do self work and improve. To just relax because it feels good and nothing else.

And finally, the last one that spoke to me the most was just learning that all of this is out of a desire for safety. And to recognize that desire, and to try to separate it out from this need to do things for other people, especially for approval or valdation. To recognize why that approval or validation or appreciation feels so good, and to kind of recognize how it makes us feel safe, so we can get that same feeling of safety without the validation.

I just found it all really interesting, and it's given me some things to think about.