The only thing I didn't like is that the ending felt like it was the start of another act and I really had to go to the bathroom, so instead of waiting the 5 minutes I ran to the bathroom thinking we were half an hour from the end š
I came out to my family around 2 years before I even got on hormones and I made it very clear that I will likely be "girl moding" (not the phrase I used of course) every time I go to a family event from now on. None of them have said anything about it, and I wouldn't really have cared if they did.
IfĀ
you won't let me wear what I feel comfy wearing at the gathering you just aren't my family and I won't be there.
Please, all Iām asking is that you donāt wear the novelty elephant undies with the hole where you can slide a ātrunkā out of at Great Aunt Henriettaās funeral. It was funny at Beckyās wedding but weāre all grieving her sudden passing.
I enjoy a bit of malicious compliance. Sure, I'll wear a button up but it's not gonna be buttoned all the way and I'm wearing my most pushing up bra I've got with a pencil skirt and heels.
I can just smoke weed and laugh at these clown ass fools. Maybe it sounds arrogant and unlikely but I donāt change or move for anyone if I donāt want to. Iām so sick of people trying to confine me in a little box like Iām a statistic they can control.
Reminds me of that one tweet(?) of someoneās grandpa who kept misgendering her at a restaurant but just looked insane because she had like C cups lmao
Recently saw someoneās post about this regarding her muslim mother: torn between not acknowledging her gender and telling her to cover herself properly
Pretty sure having visible curves is what finally got my mom to start calling me the correct name. She had been using a portmanteau of my deadname and my name when refering to me while speaking to others to ease herself in, but I guess seeing me at 18 months on HRT after previously seeing me at six months did the trick, bc she hasn't struggled since. Cant imagine tolerating boymoding at this point.
I can't tell if using a portmanteau of your name and deadname is somehow more offensive than just using your deadname or not. It FEELS like it since she clearly thought about it and then decided to do something even dumber than just call you by your chosen name
She (like so many others unfortunately) kept suggesting other names that were closer to my deadname, presumably to make it easier. I chose a name that was completely different for this exact reason; I wanted for there to be a clean break between the two.
See, my mom tries doing this with my trans sister. What she doesn't know is that "Fawn" is also a furry with a deer fursona, which is funny enough to my sister that she abides it. I just really put emphasis on my sister's name when talking to my mom.
That's interesting, hadn't really thought of it that way.
When my stepmother transitioned she started out with a name that started with the same letter as her previous name but was otherwise different. It never really felt right though, and she ended up going with the feminine version of her previous name and preferred it.
I forget how that ended up being the case, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some similar suggestions but it ended up being preferable.
I regret not making a cleaner break between my names. I went with with the feminine variant of my dead name in some hope of it being more acceptable to family or some shit. Since then I've cut off most of my family, and am fairly low contact with the rest.
I wish I'd chosen a name just for me, but such is life.
Iām not an abusive mother, but I do occasionally slip up and refer to my friend as she when they want to be called they. They just present as really feminine and have a āgirlās nameā, and my brain is dumb and forgets sometimes.
My point is that some of us do fuck it up sometimes accidentally. Maybe not so much for your mom though, I donāt know.
I believe she's saying that her mom slips up by accident using her correct pronouns, and then "corrects" herself by saying the wrong ones.
All trans people are aware that people can struggle when initially getting used to calling them new pronouns, but what's she's describing is a much more malicious thing.
No way I'm ever boymoding again, I'm almost four years on E and nobody has read me as a guy in years, every stranger thinks I'm a woman. My dad basically ignores that I'm trans and pretends nothing is different but my mom is settling into it more at least. I haven't seen her side of the family in years and I told her she could out me and show pictures at a family gathering last weekend I wasn't out and apparently it went over way better than I thought, cousins called me cute and people said they wouldn't treat me any different, nobody was surprised about it, and several people said they expected it so hey maybe I'll have extended family again now
There has been anecdotal evidence of trans women developing curves even into their 30s. Seems to be a small number though and there havenāt been enough studies on the topic to be conclusive either way
Reminds me of one where a trans man was told by his parents to wear a dress to a wedding, and his sibling said he should because he has very hairy arms and stuff and it would be really funny.
If we didn't have so many violent maniacs making the world physically unsafe for non-cishet folk, the unabashed acts of malicious compliance for silly requests like this would be oh so delicious.
My boyfriend has been on HRT for 5 years there is no chance of him ever being mistaken for a woman so if someone forced him to wear a dress he'd look ridiculous
My cousin transitioned and last time I saw him, I thought he was my cousins boyfriend before he said anything. I hope I too get confused for my own boyfriend one day
My mom was introducing me by my birth name and as her daughter when she was sick in the hospital. Every nurse gave me a sympathetic smile and said "what's your pronouns?"
She later said I was embarrassing her by being openly trans. I told her no, she's embarrassing herself by outing me as trans. I'm built like a man, and I pass 99.9% of the time because I have a fucking baritone and muttonchops.
I miss her, but also it's been nice to talk to people about her and they go, "Oh, you must be her son."
My dad really came around before he passed so it wasn't really a similar experience, but at his celebration of life it was very interesting for some of his cousins whom I don't remember ever meeting prior to come up to me and ask "are you [his] daughter?" Basically the first time being explicitly recognized as his daughter somewhere.
There are two main English-speaking bra sizing systems, the US one and the UK one. The US one has the number be the underbust circumference in inches and then each letter is one inch of difference between that and the bust, but it futilely tries to hide E and F behind DD and DDD before giving up and just going to G and so on for 7+ inches of difference.
The UK system has double consonants from D onwards as separate ticks and skips I entirely, so it goes A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, FF, G, GG, H, HH, J, JJ and so on. Why? no idea.
You could say it's like the long scale some languages use for big numbers, where after million there's milliard and then billion only comes after that, and then billiard before trillion. I think that's neat that every -ion comes at an amount of zeroes that's multiple of six
But also, all I know about this I learned by lurking on r/abrathatfits, I don't really have any standing to invite anyone there but it's open and helpful
ā¦the Schwarzschild radius (point at which an object just turns into a black hole) for something with the density of water (yes I know fat is less dense, but the math is already done with water) from the pre AI internet is about 2.7 AU which converts to about 1.6*1013 inches. So at roughly size 1.6 quadrillion Zās, someone would get black hole boobs.
Edit thatās radius, so multiply by 2 Pi for an approximate cup size of 10 quadrillion Zās.
To be fair, Iām about 99% certain that there has only ever been one verified natural ZZZ bust in the entire time weāve had a standard for bra sizing, and she only got that big because of a super rare genetic disease that made all her glands grow indefinitely into her 40s or smth.
I think a system that works fine for 30-odd million people across the country is allowed to break down when the one chick with boobs the size of a medium dog shows up. Still better than the Xs they keep adding onto clothing sizes I guess
??? Whyād they do that that seems soā¦ specific. Thereās no correlation between consents in the English alphabet and the mechanics of how a bra works, so what gives???
I guess a standard that is, well, standardized, and widely used is better than a perfectly logical and convenient one no one uses, but it still annoys me.
Fairly small-medium when correctly fitted. A lot of people are squeezing much larger breasts into DD bras because of misconceptions about fitting, though.
a correctly fitted dd is five inches of difference in the circumference from the underbust measurement. which, on average, is actually quite "small". the irish bra lady on instagram has examples.
also, bra sizes are proportions, so a 32dd is going to be smaller than a 40dd, because while both of them are five inches of difference, one of them will have a 32-inch underbust and a 37-inch bust, while the other will have a 40-inch underbust and a 45-inch bust. therefore, despite having the same letter in front of the underbust measurement, they're still going to be different sizes visually.
edit: i imagine the original poster also isn't wearing the correct size. usually when people say they have dds, they're thinking that dds are something that are supposed to be huge, or something like "a = x-small, b = small, c = medium etc". a lot of people aren't wearing the correct size. for example, if this person was, say, fit into a 36dd by somebody at victoria's secret, they would probably fit better into a 32i/32gg (since the majority of bra chains only carry up to dd cups for some reason, they add 4 inches to the underbust measurement to get your band size instead of just rounding up to the next even whole number, meaning that the five-inch difference of a dd is actually supposed to be a nine-inch difference).
And aside from the numbers, your build matters too. DDs are quite noticeable on petite women, but can look modest on someone tall. I wear a D and it looks like a B because I'm tall and have a long waist and wider shoulders. On the bright side, they've never bothered me or given me neck/shoulder/back pain.
Yes and no. It super depends on the person. "DD" is not a set cup size, as the other person explained it's about the ratio of band to bust. A lot of people don't believe it but there's a lot more women with DDs out there than you'd assume, and a lot of women with DDs don't know they have them because of how few people know how to do correct sizing.
Band size makes a huge difference in what the actual volume of the cup is, so a 28DD is considerably smaller than a 38DD. On a lot of people their DDs with a smaller band size look to be about average sized boobs. For me, if I'm wearing a more revealing top, it's apparent that my 36DDs are quite large.
And as a straight dude, that's slowly slipping away. I bought two different brands of jeans, with the same measurements and should have both been straight cut, and one fit and the other didn't, by several inches around the waist.
To clarify. Expected= A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Reality= A, B, C, D, DD, DDD, G. No difference in sizing between the two aside from what they are labeled as. Probably because double D and triple D are more fun for the male imagination/advertising.
Meanwhile my mother over there with her apparently nonexistent EE's lol (this is not a criticism of your explanation but of the ridiculousness of the sizing system)
There is E ā in the bra sizing systems that don't use DD, e.g. in Europe. Just not in yours. It's more straightforward in that regard, but worse in vand size calculation. Also the cup sizes don't line up perfectly.
The mistake you're making is that you're assuming that there's a globally recognised standard for bras that everyone follows. Yes, i agree that its annoying and needlessly complicated. Companies won't agree because they all want their own one to be the standard because it would drive more sales. That being said, there is a sort of common standard using the letters.
Everything is horrible so just go on abrathatfits. They just use cm and have done the conversion from actual measurements to the horrible brand labels already.
US bra sizes are the measurement for the band in even numbered inches, the letters are for the difference in inches between the band measurement and the nipple-line measurement.
The number is the band size in inches and the letter is a scale/measurement of the difference in inches between band and cup so the difference between 32D and 32DD is and inch in the bust or the widest part of the titties.
Shout out to r/abrathatfits for anyone looking for a bra or bra-based info! There is an excellent calculator (with settings to improve accuracy for people of any gender) and there are so many helpful resources about bras and proper sizing!
Orally, I did do it as a suppository for a while since a study showed that the levels were more stable that way as long as it's bioidentical. But I never noticed a difference so I went back to oral
SIX YEARS!?!? I'm about to hit three years on HRT and I can't imagine boymoding at this point. If my family told me I had to boymode at the family gathering then I simply wouldn't go.
I didn't come out to my extended family for over 6 years and no one said anything. I barely boymoded at family gatherings and didn't try to hide my sizeable chest. People see what they want to see.
I found the male-failing to strangers and especially family members was hilarious. One cousin didn't recognize me and introduced himself. And people's faces when they see this happening...
I did it for 13 years, but everybody already knew because I very much look like a girl. Only came out 2 months ago. It was absolute torture, wouldn't recommend.
i have to boymode at work because my principal is a transphobic mormon jackass and will torment me if he finds out. Source: My sister, also trans, was already out when she got hired (for 3 years) and he told her she couldn't use the women's bathroom
Personally I would argue that malicious compliance is also an option in this case. You want me to wear male clothes? Sure, I'll wear a fitted shirt and no bra that will be obscene because of my new breasts.
You want me to wear female clothes, sure, let me pick this shorter skirt that will show off my hairy thighs and a low cut shirt that will show off my chest hair and lack of breasts. Hell, if your top surgery scars can be visible all the better.
If you feel comfortable doing so, do what they say but pick clothes that make it as obscene and uncomfortable for everyone else as possible.
Yeah I know a trans dude who looks and sounds exactly like a cis dude and his parents still pretend heās a girl. It circles back to being hilarious because theyāll do it in front of strangers and theyāre just like huh? Whereās the girl?
It could not be more forced and insane. If youāre comfortable doing it itās arguably the one of best ways to shut down transphobia because itās obviously so forced and being done for blatantly bigoted and personal reasons.
I wish we lived in a world where everyone could wear whatever they wanted, regardless of what body they were born with. Because I personally do not see anything wrong with a hairy man wearing a short skirt and low cut shirt. But I know society deems it unacceptable. I also wish having hairy legs was more normalized for women, so that we wouldn't have to torture our bodies through all sorts of hair removal methods just because society says we're not not allowed to show off our natural hairy legsĀ
It's an option, sure, but if they're trying to pull that shit in front of a stranger in public, I'd look sad and ask them if they forgot again, then tell the stranger they have dementia.
My brothers graduation from uni is this December. The extended family is coming. I have c-d cups and they haven't seen me since I started my transition.
My mom somehow thought I was gonna boy mode lmao, even if I wanted to like what would I do? Shapewear and binder? Who's gonna pay for that lol, nevermind that I've lost 30 kg since I last used that one suit I own lol
I transitioned from male to female openly at work, and everyone (even older cishet men) were all super supportive. The other day one of them was lamenting how he didnāt fit into his old suit, and I made everyone laugh by saying āYeah me tooā.
No literally. I hated suits my entire life but once I get a little more confident in my body I'm gonna wear the shit out of form fitting suits. Already worked fitted shirts into my rotation and they apparently look hot as fuck. That is my girlfriend's words though so take it with a grain of salt, I'm still an ngmi hon and all that.
One of my favorite stories is a transmasc who wasnāt able to transition while living at home because of his parents. A few years later, after much HRT and very little contact with mom and dad, but good connection with siblings who accept him, he gets invited to his sisterās wedding. Mom and dad say that if ātheir daughterā isnāt wearing a dress āsheā canāt attend the wedding. So the guy (after checking with the bride and groom that it would be okay) shows up to the wedding as a big buff hairy burly guy wearing a girly little dress so tight it looks like itās going to rip if he turns too quickly. Mom and dad are of course pissed off, but itās their rule so they get ignored.
Only one person (a cis man) asked me to boymode. I replied I didn't have one of those and proceeded to show up to his apartment as myself. He went off on me because "what would his neighbors think!?" And I went, yup this is done.
I'm going to wear nicer clothes than any of you and more expensive than what you're all wearing combined. I'm not boymoding, my closet simply has no boy clothes to mode in
I looked up pictures of her, and she's not kidding about the DD's. But I have to ask... HOW? I didn't think it was possible for hormone therapy to get you to that level. Please educate an ally ya'll.
While statistically much less likely due to age, "time spent in puberty", and rib cage dimensions, it isn't impossible for trans women to grow breasts. Buuut also some us get implants hahaĀ
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u/DrumMaggs Streak: 11 17h ago
If you won't let me wear what I feel comfy wearing at the gathering you just aren't my family and I won't be there.
I'm too old to let people keep dragging me down to their level. I'm going to just do my own thing.