And when they say this it’s their way of subtly saying i look like a man (some outrightly say it). had guys ask me if i’ve had “the surgery” and when did i start transitioning (assuming i am mtf). these are the same guys who say they can always tell when someone is trans btw.

i don’t see it as an insult whenever a guy thinks i’m a trans woman but it’s funny when they see an obviously feminine person and assume they are a man because they don’t possess eurocentric features. Before, this really hurt my self esteem and made me question myself and gender, but my confidence has gotten better. i know i took after my dad look wise, and know my jawline and face shape gives off a masculine look, but i like to believe i look more fem than masc.

editing this to say i appreciate the kind words, but as i grow up i am beginning to accept my androgynous appearance and the fact that i am nonbinary and don’t feel the need to perform femininity all the time. this was mainly an issue when i thought i was a binary cis woman. now that i know i’m more genderqueer it‘s not as concerning to me anymore.

Also some lightly trans colored outfits. My mom braided my hair🥰

i just turned 26 and felt like showing off a lil 🤩😆🤩

did some wand curls and voila ✨

Excited to see where the rest of my 20’s go 🤠

Independence is so overrated. I want to depend on someone lol. But maybe not how you’re thinking. I want to count on someone to take me out and pay for it 😭🤣 Im so tired of paying for everything myself. I don’t want a relationship(until someone makes me want one) I just wanna date for the perks that matter.

Like when you come pick me up take my garbage out too.
Please help me help you put this dining server cabinet thing together.
I want to not open that lil portfolio the check be coming in 🥺
I just did some goofy shit and the paint on my wall gotta small bubble, come fix this shit king ding a ling.

Im so tired of myself doing all this shit 😩 and all the testicle havers want to put me to work asking if I can cook or know how to give a massage 😒 no no uno reverse i dont cook shortie and I’m just trying to figure out what kinda carpentry skills you got i can exploit. At least 15 years ago they kinda did shit worth doing while being worthless.

Is this a rant? Is it a plea? Do I need bubble bath, blunt and bed? IDK this the internet and what I am is bored of being the only one dating me lol

I am genuinely curious as to why older black women in office setting gatekeep or "act" hostile towards younger black women in the workforce. I don't expect us to be friends but I expect us to be respectful and show humility towards one another since we are coworkers and spend 40 hours a week together.

I find myself time and time again in different office settings when I try to befriend older black women at work or try to get information from them (they are usually the ones who have been at the job the longest) its met with attitude, jealousy or this idea i am trying to take thier job.

One recent incident, an old black woman I work with was nice to me the first month of me being hired. We would eat lunch together, she shared her files (without me asking) and we made "inside blk ppl jokes" playful nothing serious. I was under the impression we were cool then all of a sudden about 2 months in, it felt like a switch went off in her head. She stop saying good morning to me, she distanced herself from our conversations and purposely did not introduce me to a vendor (she introduced everyone else in the department who is either White or Hispanic). I done nothing to this woman as our work barely overlap one another.

I am genuinely confused, I've been in a manger positions and been one of the longest employees at a company before and my mindset is to pass on knowledge so if I leave or not in the office no one would be lost. If there is another person of color (specifically women) in a office I want to give her all the tools she needs. In my eyes if she succeeds, I succeeded especially in office settings that are usually predominantly white.

Its usually (not for nothing) black boomers who are like this. Why?

Hey everyone,

I work as a caregiver and I love my job how ever, has anyone liked a client but they have posters, said something, or did something to threw you off? My client is a very nice person and showed me around his apartment. Until I seen a donald trump hat and button and he was watching fox news. I'm like oh great. I'm like why do you have to be kind and treat me with respect but also be a trump supporter

Going to Japan for B-day for 10 days. Any recommendations or advice? If you been how was your experience?

Hey yall🙋🏽‍♀️

I know GLP is somewhat of a controversial topic but I’d really like to know if anyone has ordered GLP-1 through services like Ro, HERS, or a medical spa?

My mom was 290lbs however she is doing the journey with her PCP & is on Zepound. She’s slowly decreasing & moving off of it bc she’s near her goal weight now. She didn’t have any crazy negative symptoms. Just some nausea and low energy the first couple months.

My insurance is shit and the pure, medical grade brands like Zepound or WeGovy are expensive. The compounded semaglutide however is cheaper - I know it won’t work as great but I’ve seen some comments on IG saying it helped.

Anyway I’m just looking for real experiences if u don’t mind sharing. Symptoms? Effective weight loss? Did it affect your Mental health? How long were you on it?
I don’t trust reviews on IG or TikTok anymore

Hello, I’m a woman in my thirties. I’ve lived a fulfilling life and done many things I love, such as travelling, starting an organisation, and studying abroad. I’m grateful for these experiences.

However, 10 years ago, I was previously in a horrible relationship where my consent wasn’t respected, and I haven’t dated since. I also grew up in a family where my mum had relationships with men who treated her terribly.

I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 20, and I feel like I’m finally ready to date. However, the thought of dating feels overwhelming. I tend to approach everything as a plan, and I’m panicking because I don’t know what to do, how to behave, or what to expect.

It feels strange to be in this position, and I would really appreciate advice from women who have been through something similar.

Hi

How do you cope/ tolerante with classmates, coworkers, in-laws (basically people you have to see and interact with) being mean towards you? Honestly … like I will put myself in a bad position if I behave towards them as they are towards me, do you guys have any advice?

Hey yall 👋🏾. so I am a single black female. I’m independent & live on my own. I’ve lived in a couple places, & have had some good experiences & some not. As I get older i realize what I want as far as a forever home/community. but it is hard to find something that fits our demographic. I wana feel safe but also included. I live in an area that caters to a different democraphic. and tbh I miss being around my people. I miss that inclusivity that I felt. I’m looking into moving abroad for a little bit. (Asia to be exact) just for a bit. But I’m open to anything that’s a good fit. traveling abroad just for personal reasons. But I was born n raised in the U.S. I’d like to find somewhere that feels safe. somewhere that feels like community

I am a black woman. I was walking to the bus stop when a black man in front of me turned his head to look at me and spit on the grounding my direction. I was disgusted but not surprised

Hi DMV ladies, I live in Montgomery County, MD. but willing to travel. I have a super hard cut off of getting my hair done before 1pm today because I have to coach a high school team at 3:30pm. My birthday plans are tonight and my hairstylist just canceled. I’m getting a traditional sew in. Do you know of any hair stylists or walk in salons that’d take me last minute? Thanks.

Take this question any direction you please. Id love to hear about how you thought about something when you were younger, how your thoughts changed and what prompted that change.

My grandmother taught me how to press, we rollerset, perm/relaxer, and color my hair. Been doing my hair since high school. About 5 years ago I was introduced to a keratin treatment by a white stylist. She didn’t rinse it out and I loved it. Lasted over a year because I have 3c. Found a black stylist and she applied a keratin but her method was rinsing it out and more passes with the flat iron. In this economy I need to go back to doing my own hair.
I would like any recommendations on brands for me. 3c hair type. I typically wear the “wet look” in summer and straight (diligent durag wrapper in the winter as to not leave the house with a wet head). Can anyone recommend the keratin treatment brand…I have the appropriate shampoo and conditioner for maintenance. All feedback is welcomed. Thanks

Hey,

Loving this new (to me) emergence of male audio where they're talking dirty and moaning/grunting/whatever buuuuut I'd prefer a Black man. I searched erotic ASMR "African American" and got a lot of non-erotic stuff. are there other search terms I should try or does anyone know of some creators I can start with?

I work in an office space where there are only 2 of us that are black. I change my hair sometimes (not that often but might be often in the context of non-black people). Sometimes when I change my hair, especially when I take out braids and wear my shorter afro, I will loudly get compliments from my coworkers about it. And my office is very quiet so everybody hears it. Though I know they are complimenting me, it makes me so uncomfortable because I feel like a spectacle. I just wanna be able to change and do my hair as I please but now the thought behind every style is “how big of a change is this from the last one”. I hate that my brain now thinks twice about my coworkers perceiving a new hairstyle rather than the kind of freeness I felt before I started working in an office space. Like, I’m just wearing the hair that grows out of my scalp and I don’t want it to be a big deal!

What do you do when you have a close friend who is constantly putting herself in terrible situations? Whether it’s relationships, friendships, work, etc. If you warn this friend that you don’t think they’re making the right decision but they do it anyways, and every time you see them and talk to them they’re complaining, is it okay for you to be selfish and tell her that you can’t deal with these situations anymore. It makes me feel like a selfish friend but when the only connection you have to the friend has turned into her talking about the self destructing decisions she is making then what do you do? As a black woman we carry so much of our own issues, those around us. But I’m starting to question whether I should have to carry someone’s issues who willing walked into a burning house.

Hi,

(This story is a little long but I hope you will bare it with me)

A couple days ago I was watching a clip from a show that featured a teacher bullying a student and it reminded me of a middle school teacher I had who I'll call Mr. Smith.

For context: In middle school I was one of the only black kids at a predominantly Hispanic school. I was also the standard "type A overachiever" where grades that don't mean anything anymore meant everything to me at the time.

Mr. Smith was my orchestra teacher for a year and he was black. Our relationship started off okay, but overtime it became weird. Mr. Smith was new and he never played a string instrument (he had a woodwind background) and he made a bunch of confusing changes to his teaching style that often didn't make any sense. The kids in my section were the troublemakers of the class who often made fun of the class and disrespected Mr. Smith. While I tried to distance myself from this, Mr. Smith would lump me in with them and reprimand us. Now it such be known that EVERYONE who knew me, knew me to be "goody-goody" (yeah I know it's not a good term) and a "total teacher's pet" so a teacher reprimanding me threw me for a loop and oftentimes I would talkback and try to defend myself or I would ignore him when he was talking AT me (probably not my finest moment). A few people in my section dropped his class when we questioned him on style changes. I stayed because I loved playing my instrument and I wasn't a "quitter."

What got weird: we were prepping for all-state festival and the people in my section were getting rowdy. Mr. Smith warned our section a couple of times to stop talking and one of the guys continued to make jokes that everyone in my section laughed at and I would just smiled and shake my head. Mind you I was quiet and trying to pay attention to Mr. Smith but I guess that wasn't enough. Mr. Smith got angry and kicked my section out and I watched everyone leave. Then he pointed me and told me to leave too. When I tried to defend myself, he didn't want to hear it. He further banned us from going to the festival and didn't tell us that it would affect our grade. I had no idea what to do and wondered if I should have waited after class to talk to him again by now it was spring (March/April probably) and honestly after everything he put me through, I was tired of arguing with him.

A week later, I was having my student-parent-teacher conference and my advisor's room is next to his (we can see his classroom through a window). He sees us having our conference and at the middle end of the conference he interrupts our discussion. Throughout the conference when I first saw he smiling at me through the window, I had a sinking pit in my stomach like I knew something was going to happen. Now my advisor has no idea what's going on and assumed that he was coming over to sing praises especially after my conference was going well with "Her grades are outstanding and all of her teachers love her!" Well...not all because this man proceeds to tell my father how bad of a student I've been all year: rolling my eyes (which I NEVER DO), disrespecting him by questioning his method of teaching (which I admit to doing but not out of disrespect), and so many other things that I NEVER DID. I was in shock. My dad was in shock. My advisor was in shock. By the time he was done listing his accusations, I was sobbing and blubbering like a baby. I was so upset that I couldn't defend myself correctly and when I denied some of his accusations I just looked guilty. I ended getting up and walking away with my advisor while my dad finished talking to him. I'll never forget the disappointed lectures I received from my dad and the apology letter I was forced to write. I come from an African spanking household and over time my dad stopped spanking me when I was 10 because for the most part there wasn't any need. This was one of those times where my dad was so disgusted with my behavior, but chose not to spank me because he just didn't understand the situation.

My dad and Mr. Smith evidently decided that we start the next semester off fresh.

When I asked other kids in my section if Mr. Smith had interrupted their conferences they said no. When they found out what he did to mine they were shocked especially since they knew that I didn't intentionally cause trouble.

Most importantly, at my school teachers DON'T interrupt other teacher conferences like that. Other students who found out actively sought me out to tell me that was "messed up."

But it's fine I swallowed my pride and kept my head down for another week. But everything changed the Friday I received my quarter grades. Mind you, my grades meant everything to me back then. And of course:

The man failed me.

It was funny seeing my grades because it was:

A+ A+ A F A+ A. I just stared at my orchestra grade and finally lost it. I remember my soul leaving my body when told my science teacher that I had leave in the middle of class and walked down to the orchestra room. Mr. Smith was there and he had the nerve to smile when I asked him what was going on. He told me that since I didn't go the festival I failed. I told him that I wanted to go but he didn't let me and that it's not on his grading syballus. He said that it expected that the festival would be 90% of grade. Well...THAT WASN'T ON THE SYBALLUS and I wanted to go! We went back and forth until I gave up and asked if there was anything I could do to make up my grade. He said no and that it's all in the past and we can proceed to do as we discussed before and "start over for the last semester." I said "Yeah, no I don't think we can" and left.

I went down to the office and asked for the Vice-Principal, Ms. Linda who I assisted in the past as an office aide. I told Ms. Linda everything and she had me drop his class and told me she would look into everything. Ms. Linda was notorious for being a mean Vice-Principal but that woman went to bat for me. I found out later she and many of the teachers I had from 6th-8th grade wrote short statements in support for my grade removal in the course and I became a teacher's aide in place of orchestra.

I still played in the school Jazz band taught by my advisor and Mr. Smith (who was too pissed to even speak to me) forced me to bring back my borrowed instrument from home even though I still needed it to practice. When I asked why since there were so many instruments in storage, my advisor wouldn't look at me and said "Mr. Smith says he needs it for other students."

Fine, then mitch there you go.

The last time I saw him was my 8th grade graduation when I was fake smiling and shaking his hand after winning 2 awards and being announced as a co-valedictorian. He was not happy. I still wonder what Ms. Linda said to him, but I'll never know I'm just grateful to her.

Note: Idk if this has holds any weight, but my dad mentioned to me during that "I'm so disappointed in you" drive home that like me, Mr. Smith is first generation African American (we are not from the same African countries) and that he felt "duty bound" to let my dad know or something like that.

And umm...Mr. Smith's wife is white, which is fine but has made me wonder overtime:

Was I a victim of internalized racism or a possible internalized Microaggressive situation or am I overdramatizing the whole thing?

Edited: It's often a story that makes me reflect on the perception of my behavior and makes me doubt myself like what did I do to make this man hate me enough to do all that?

Hi! In the past I had color 30 braids for two years straight, looked great on me! I recently went back to black but have now been wanting color again. I want to try a 27/30 color mix but am unsure of how it will look. I see different videos on tiktok and they all look like completely different shades. Some of them look absolutely gorgeous and some look too yellow for my liking. If anyone has done any braids with the xpression M27/30 pre mix specifically photos would be appreciated 😅 I’m just worried it’ll look to yellow like some of the tiktoks I’ve seen, and want a better idea before I commit. Here’s the braiding hair I got and my inspo!