And when they say this it’s their way of subtly saying i look like a man (some outrightly say it). had guys ask me if i’ve had “the surgery” and when did i start transitioning (assuming i am mtf). these are the same guys who say they can always tell when someone is trans btw.

i don’t see it as an insult whenever a guy thinks i’m a trans woman but it’s funny when they see an obviously feminine person and assume they are a man because they don’t possess eurocentric features. Before, this really hurt my self esteem and made me question myself and gender, but my confidence has gotten better. i know i took after my dad look wise, and know my jawline and face shape gives off a masculine look, but i like to believe i look more fem than masc.

editing this to say i appreciate the kind words, but as i grow up i am beginning to accept my androgynous appearance and the fact that i am nonbinary and don’t feel the need to perform femininity all the time. this was mainly an issue when i thought i was a binary cis woman. now that i know i’m more genderqueer it‘s not as concerning to me anymore.

Also some lightly trans colored outfits. My mom braided my hair🥰

From level 100 to 300. I have to celebrate 🎉to motivate myself but it left with a year to say a big congratulations to myself. I study degree in fashion design

For context, this is a costume i'm wearing to a rave. It is Vampire themed so I went with this Akasha (Queen of the Dammed) inspired look. Now i know she wears black in the most iconic scenes from the film, however, I just wanted inspiration. I chose white because during the rave, there will be a reenactment of a scene in the movie Blade where in a rave in Brooklyn, blood sprinkled from the ceiling triggering everyone's inner vampire. 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♀️ I figured it would really MAKE the costume come alive when everyone thought it just couldnt get better 😌. Oh baby! And i'll be doing vampire makeup aswell! I'll update you guys on the finished look 🤍

I am genuinely curious as to why older black women in office setting gatekeep or "act" hostile towards younger black women in the workforce. I don't expect us to be friends but I expect us to be respectful and show humility towards one another since we are coworkers and spend 40 hours a week together.

I find myself time and time again in different office settings when I try to befriend older black women at work or try to get information from them (they are usually the ones who have been at the job the longest) its met with attitude, jealousy or this idea i am trying to take thier job.

One recent incident, an old black woman I work with was nice to me the first month of me being hired. We would eat lunch together, she shared her files (without me asking) and we made "inside blk ppl jokes" playful nothing serious. I was under the impression we were cool then all of a sudden about 2 months in, it felt like a switch went off in her head. She stop saying good morning to me, she distanced herself from our conversations and purposely did not introduce me to a vendor (she introduced everyone else in the department who is either White or Hispanic). I done nothing to this woman as our work barely overlap one another.

I am genuinely confused, I've been in a manger positions and been one of the longest employees at a company before and my mindset is to pass on knowledge so if I leave or not in the office no one would be lost. If there is another person of color (specifically women) in a office I want to give her all the tools she needs. In my eyes if she succeeds, I succeeded especially in office settings that are usually predominantly white.

Its usually (not for nothing) black boomers who are like this. Why?

But seriously! So many people trying to coach women to be more feminine dainty and quiet and soft spoken to attract a manI think this is all wrong . Be your authentic self and you will attract the right man . But all this talk about doing your hair makeup a certain way and being more soft spoken is just gonna attract the wrong person if it’s not authentically in you
Now of course if you are naturally feminine do you! But some women can me more masculine in nature and that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are because YouTube podcast suggests it

The right man will accept you rather you have long hair short hair blue hair tattoos . Whether you are quiet or loud .
I have lots of feminine energy but masculine energy as well . I love makeup fashion and the like . But I can also be talkative feisty and loud etc. I would never date someone that didn’t accept all the parts of me .

Hello, I’m a woman in my thirties. I’ve lived a fulfilling life and done many things I love, such as travelling, starting an organisation, and studying abroad. I’m grateful for these experiences.

However, 10 years ago, I was previously in a horrible relationship where my consent wasn’t respected, and I haven’t dated since. I also grew up in a family where my mum had relationships with men who treated her terribly.

I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 20, and I feel like I’m finally ready to date. However, the thought of dating feels overwhelming. I tend to approach everything as a plan, and I’m panicking because I don’t know what to do, how to behave, or what to expect.

It feels strange to be in this position, and I would really appreciate advice from women who have been through something similar.

Hey everyone,

I work as a caregiver and I love my job how ever, has anyone liked a client but they have posters, said something, or did something to threw you off? My client is a very nice person and showed me around his apartment. Until I seen a donald trump hat and button and he was watching fox news. I'm like oh great. I'm like why do you have to be kind and treat me with respect but also be a trump supporter

I’m officially in the 40 club. I’m grateful to have lived this long, and now I am intentionally working on living a full life. Any advice or recommendations on what an introverted extrovert could look forward to next?
My stats: married for 13 yrs, 2 daughters (11 & 10 yrs old), homeowner, 2 dogs & 1 cat, loves gardening, WFH.

i went natural over a decade ago but have done the big chop several times since lol. all of this growth has been from the past 1.5 years (March 2025)

pics were taken barely 48 hours apart :)

Hey yall 👋🏾. so I am a single black female. I’m independent & live on my own. I’ve lived in a couple places, & have had some good experiences & some not. As I get older i realize what I want as far as a forever home/community. but it is hard to find something that fits our demographic. I wana feel safe but also included. I live in an area that caters to a different democraphic. and tbh I miss being around my people. I miss that inclusivity that I felt. I’m looking into moving abroad for a little bit. (Asia to be exact) just for a bit. But I’m open to anything that’s a good fit. traveling abroad just for personal reasons. But I was born n raised in the U.S. I’d like to find somewhere that feels safe. somewhere that feels like community

This isn’t really a “vent” per se, but it’s the closest flair that I could find for what I’m talking about.

Lately, I noticed a particular sickening and disturbing trend in that whenever Black girls talk about colorism, featurism, texturism, or the privilege that comes from a proximity to whiteness, people ALWAYS react by insisting that Black girls are jealous of and bully biracial girls for their appearances. There seems to be this prevalent narrative that Black girls hate biracial girls and are jealous of them because they are closer to the beauty standard, but is this actually the case? I have never seen it in real life nor online, but so many mixed girls swear up and down that Black girls are jealous of them, and that they were constantly bullied by Black girls growing up because they were jealous that biracial girls are prettier than them.

I have also seen this with Manon of Katseye. In the group, she is meant to be the Black girl rep, and a lot of Black girls have criticized HYBE for choosing a lightskin mixed girl with features that are palatable to white beauty standards as the Black girl rep, and said that they don’t feel represented by her because of it, because she is the “acceptable” version of a Black girl in mainstream pop culture. In response, Manon fans send us death threat after death threat, slur after slur, and say that we’re just jealous of Manon because we’re dark and ugly, and she’s light and pretty. They also love putting words in our mouths, and claiming that we think that Lara(the Indian member of Katseye) is Black, just because she has dark skin, but that’s a topic for another discussion. A lot of them insist that Manon is prettier than darkskin fully Black girls, and that that’s why she was chosen to be in the group as the Black girl rep.

All of this shit just sounds like racist bullcrap to me. I want to know if I am right in believing this or if there is any actual basis behind this statement that Black girls are “jealous” of biracial girls for their looks. Have you ever heard of this stereotype, or witnessed it in your day-to-day life? How do you feel about it? I would like to hear your thoughts, cuz right now, I feel like I’m going crazy. 🤪 Thank you for reading this far, and have a nice day.

Hey yall🙋🏽‍♀️

I know GLP is somewhat of a controversial topic but I’d really like to know if anyone has ordered GLP-1 through services like Ro, HERS, or a medical spa?

My mom was 290lbs however she is doing the journey with her PCP & is on Zepound. She’s slowly decreasing & moving off of it bc she’s near her goal weight now. She didn’t have any crazy negative symptoms. Just some nausea and low energy the first couple months.

My insurance is shit and the pure, medical grade brands like Zepound or WeGovy are expensive. The compounded semaglutide however is cheaper - I know it won’t work as great but I’ve seen some comments on IG saying it helped.

Anyway I’m just looking for real experiences if u don’t mind sharing. Symptoms? Effective weight loss? Did it affect your Mental health? How long were you on it?
I don’t trust reviews on IG or TikTok anymore

I am a black woman. I was walking to the bus stop when a black man in front of me turned his head to look at me and spit on the grounding my direction. I was disgusted but not surprised

Going to Japan for B-day for 10 days. Any recommendations or advice? If you been how was your experience?

Take this question any direction you please. Id love to hear about how you thought about something when you were younger, how your thoughts changed and what prompted that change.

What do you do when you have a close friend who is constantly putting herself in terrible situations? Whether it’s relationships, friendships, work, etc. If you warn this friend that you don’t think they’re making the right decision but they do it anyways, and every time you see them and talk to them they’re complaining, is it okay for you to be selfish and tell her that you can’t deal with these situations anymore. It makes me feel like a selfish friend but when the only connection you have to the friend has turned into her talking about the self destructing decisions she is making then what do you do? As a black woman we carry so much of our own issues, those around us. But I’m starting to question whether I should have to carry someone’s issues who willing walked into a burning house.

Hi! In the past I had color 30 braids for two years straight, looked great on me! I recently went back to black but have now been wanting color again. I want to try a 27/30 color mix but am unsure of how it will look. I see different videos on tiktok and they all look like completely different shades. Some of them look absolutely gorgeous and some look too yellow for my liking. If anyone has done any braids with the xpression M27/30 pre mix specifically photos would be appreciated 😅 I’m just worried it’ll look to yellow like some of the tiktoks I’ve seen, and want a better idea before I commit. Here’s the braiding hair I got and my inspo!

Hi DMV ladies, I live in Montgomery County, MD. but willing to travel. I have a super hard cut off of getting my hair done before 1pm today because I have to coach a high school team at 3:30pm. My birthday plans are tonight and my hairstylist just canceled. I’m getting a traditional sew in. Do you know of any hair stylists or walk in salons that’d take me last minute? Thanks.

I work in an office space where there are only 2 of us that are black. I change my hair sometimes (not that often but might be often in the context of non-black people). Sometimes when I change my hair, especially when I take out braids and wear my shorter afro, I will loudly get compliments from my coworkers about it. And my office is very quiet so everybody hears it. Though I know they are complimenting me, it makes me so uncomfortable because I feel like a spectacle. I just wanna be able to change and do my hair as I please but now the thought behind every style is “how big of a change is this from the last one”. I hate that my brain now thinks twice about my coworkers perceiving a new hairstyle rather than the kind of freeness I felt before I started working in an office space. Like, I’m just wearing the hair that grows out of my scalp and I don’t want it to be a big deal!

Hi beautiful ladies,
It’s been a recent dream of mine to visit india someday. i’ve been doing some social media research but id like to hear from some of you what your experiences were like as a black women vacationing there (especially my queer folk 🙏🏾). My mother visited when she was in college but times are obviously very different now… thanks 💕