The hospital where I had my son has a program where people volunteer to take professional photos after loss. I was told If didn’t have them in 12 weeks something’s up so I called when the 12 weeks hit. They told me that my photographer had moved and was behind I was understanding of that and decided to wait some more time. It’s not been 5 weeks since that call and I called again today my photographer has not reached out to the company yet. I’m so frustrated I just wanna see them. I know I shouldn’t be upset because she’s a volunteer but I just feel so angry it’s taking so long those pictures are the only professional pictures I’ll ever get of my baby. Am I being entitled? Am I having misplaced anger bc I’m griefing?

i delivered my son sleeping at about 22 weeks in june, tomorrow was supposed to be his due date. i’m so sad. my heart hurts so much. i would give anything in the world for him to still be here. my husband got him an urn and we’re gonna finally make a little memorial for him in the house. what are ways that you celebrated your little one? i don’t want to wallow in the house tomorrow. he deserves so much more than that.

I’m not sure how much of this is allowed and I’m sure I need to put a trigger warning somewhere because of how insanely depressing this all is.

I’ve never posted here, but I lost my baby in November of 2025. I got 8 weeks of leave from my job and it felt like during that time we were in a little bubble. Like nothing felt entirely real yet, even though of course we were grieving heavily. I am sure most people start feeling ‘better’ as time moves on but I don’t feel that at all. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of losing our sweet girl and it feels like I walked out of that hospital empty handed yesterday.

I see my baby everywhere. When I am passing by the baby stuff in Target and relive all 5 stages of grief, I see her. When a friend posts their baby announcement on instagram and I am supposed to feel happy for them, I just see her. Since we lost her around the holidays, I see her in every christmas song and I hate every holiday I’ll ever have to spend without her. Life is so incredibly nuanced though, so of course, I see her even when I am feeling joy and laughter and hope. She is there for everything which I love and hate all at the same time.

I feel misunderstood by everyone around me, and while I love my partner dearly, he will never understand my relationship with our baby. He is incredibly supportive and loving but when I panic at 11pm because I hate being alive while my baby isn’t here, how could he ever truly understand that? My mom even spelled her name wrong today and played it off as a joke. I had to explain that my child is a real person, with a real name, and she doesn’t deserve to be made fun of even if she isn’t here. It doesn’t feel like anyone gets that.

If you’re anything like me and going through this subreddit days after coming home from the hospital, then I am so incredibly sorry that this may be your reality too. I guess I am just looking for some positive insight from people who still don’t have children and when this all becomes manageable again? I have tried crafts, coloring, exercising, creating a shopping addiction, being medicated and probably everything else under the sun but the absolute horror of missing your child is something that doesn’t go away, i think. What gets you out of bed in the morning? When do your emotions become regulated, if ever? How do you continue going on when your child is no longer here?

Hi All,

I lost my little Ezra on Aug 25th. He fought for 46 days but unfortunately wasn’t strong enough when his bacterial infection came back for a second time. He went into septic shock and passed away.

I thought I was ready for the service, I started planning it about 3-4 weeks ago. That was more than enough time to plan and notify family and friends.

This Saturday will be the day where we will have a talk and a reception in his honor. I wanted it, I’m having others take care of it operationally.

Now that the day is practically here, I want to cancel. I thought I was ready but I honestly don’t think I am. I am struggling, my husband has been so supportive but he’s struggling too.

iIt’s been almost 8 weeks, it’s time. I know it’ll be good for us and my family but the pain and dread is constant now.

Any advice on how to get through this? I know canceling is not the best choice (everything is ordered and booked, I would be losing out on a lot of money) but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through this.

🕯️ For every baby who never came home.

For every mother who left with empty arms.

For every family carrying love with nowhere to go.

Tonight, we light a candle.

Not because their lives were forgotten, but because their lives will always matter.

Remembered. Loved. Forever. 🤍

October 15 | Wave of Light

#WaveOfLight #BabyLossAwarenessWeek #PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PregnancyBlindspots

I‘m telling myself it was meant to be. I had surgery to have my baby set free to heaven today on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I pray for all the other hurting moms out there. This pain is like no other. My candles will be lit for my baby boy, Keller Drew, and all his little best friends up in the sky he will have forever.

Hello all.
I am looking for someone who has experience with a repeat c-section. I went to my first gynaecological checkup today, 4 months pp. My 6w checkup was by call because I had just lost my baby and I couldn’t come, I was just in bed and did not care about myself at all.
I am just 3 months out from losing my daughter and am in no shape to try again, mentally or physically.
Unfortunately my circumstances do require me to think ahead. I am turning 36 next month, I have endometriosis and a low AMH. Obviously, my baby died so having that happen again is my biggest concern. (She had a CHD and died after OHS complications. :( )
I read a lot of stories here and I noticed a lot of women were told they can start to try again after even 6-9 months. My gynaecologist told me I need to wait 2 years between birth. I said I wanted a c-section because I understood it cut down the waiting time and rupture risk, plus I handled it well the first time. I was in shock honestly. 2 years seems like forever. She also said my scar looks really good and is progressing wonderfully, so I was even more confused after the 2 years statement. That would mean conceiving 15 months from my c-section…
I was honestly expecting 9 months or even 12 but this is a lot.
I live in Europe so maybe there are differences in what is recommended in America vs here.
Can anyone tell me their experience if they had a shorter time between c-sections and how it went?
I will make a decision for myself and ask for more opinions at another doctor but I believe hearing real examples is important, too.
Thank you!

It's 7pm in Central Europe. I lit my candle for my sweet baby Sora and all the other lost babies. 🕯️

The candle holder is engraved with "Though your feet never touched the ground, your imprints are still here." My aunts made it for me after I lost my daughter in February.

My parents are in France on vacation and they sent me this photo. In honor of all our babies gone too soon. 🕯️❤️‍🩹

Just wanted some advice and possibly to hear others stories. I had a loss at 22 weeks after going into spontaneous labour for the second time. They think an infection but nothing back on the cultures.

I’m so heartbroken this happened again, my first at 28 weeks is just perfect but could it be cervical insufficiency? I was having cervical checks every 2 weeks which was long and closed. I always seem to have high infection markers but never anything conclusive or any signs of infections prior to labouring starting

Thanks all

Currently 31.5 weeks pregnant after having a stillbirth at 26 weeks last year. It has been the plan with my OB to be induced at 39 weeks since before I even got pregnant. Once I found out I had conceived I had asked if I could be induced at 37 or 38 weeks and she said the earliest they’d do it was 39. As I’m getting closer, I’m finding that I’m more and more anxious about just getting him here safely. We’ve already had one scare a couple weeks ago with decreased fetal movement that I went into L&D for, thankfully he looked perfect. But it just took me back to all the trauma of what happened with my daughter. Anytime I feel the slightest bit of lack of movement or feel like his movements have changed at all, it freaks me out. I feel like I’m constantly so anxious about him being okay.
I’m also in a lot of physical pain this time around (I have pelvic symphysis dysfunction & terrible sciatica🥴). My baby’s on the larger side, measuring 70 percentile all around for pretty much my entire pregnancy. So, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to be induced even 1 week sooner than planned. I saw a more recent post of people saying they were induced after having stillbirths around 37-38 weeks. For anyone who was, did your doctor offer that timeframe from the beginning or was it something you had to fight for? I just want my baby here alive & healthy and the sooner the better.

Hi all - wanted to ask what you would do in my situation.

Clinical history - 36+2week stillbirth due to tight true knot. Textbook pregnancy, birth and postpartum. 5 months later, I unexpected fell pregnant. It didn't feel right from the beginning, with bleeding around the time of the positive test and the pregnancy ended at 8.5w with unexplained MMC. Testing showed normal euploid fetus.

Went through testing for APS, inherited thrombophilias, thyroid, karyotyping for both of us, genetic testing - all normal. The only test that was borderline high was APS. My anti-B2 glycoprotein IgM level was 19.1 RU/ml, and repeat testing 12 weeks later was 18.9 RU/ml.

Consulted 2 MFMs who both advised that I don't meet the criteria for APS and that I am negative for APS despite the borderline IgM. My next pregnancy will be treated with progesterone and aspirin from positive test, but there is no evidence that LWMH will help me.

What would you do if you were? Should you push for LWMH? Thank you for your help!

I’m so grateful for this group, and sending everyone in & their babies love today. We should be holding our babies right now. 🫶🏻

We had a miscarriage at 12 weeks at the beginning of July this year. It was the single biggest heart break I have ever felt.

In the grief, I have completely lost myself. I used to be a happy, social person and now I am just so sad. Even on good days, the sadness just sits there.

I don’t know how to cope with this new version of myself. I want the old me back. I want to be happy again but it doesn’t matter how much I try, how much therapy I do, I can’t seem to claw my way back to her.

I know realistically I will never meet that version of myself again but I want to be happy. I want to get as close to her as possible.

My partner is the most loving, supportive amazing man and he never puts pressure on me to heal or feel a certain way but I want to get better for him.

Getting better for myself just isn’t working right now because every time I do something nice or something good, I get plagued by intrusive thoughts. You know, the classics, “you would have been almost 7 months pregnant now…” etc.

I know I will carry this sadness for the rest of my life in some capacity but I need to get back some semblance of myself.

What did you do to help you heal?

We lost our baby girl at 19 weeks in August 25 and baby boy at 21+1 in September 26. We weren’t offered a cerclage in our second pregnancy due to my cervix measuring 30mm. We had cervical monitoring & 400mg cyclogest twice daily.

I’ve been proactive in getting a referral to Tommys miscarriage clinic. I’m seeing Prof Quenby on the 29th of January.

I’ve also had a teams call with Dr Nigel Simpson of Leeds general to get his thoughts on what he thinks happened with our losses.
Nigel has said he thinks incompetent cervix however he suggested reviewing the placenta pathology for both our babies when we get them to be sure about any infections.

Has anyone seen Prof Quenby after two second trimester losses? What tests should I expect? I know they take into consideration symptoms pre pregnancy etc but generally what tests would they be doing? I’ve always had concerns over inflammation because of persistent bloating daily so I’d like to look into that more.

I have also spoke with a Dr Melanie Griffin at St Michael’s Hospital in Bristol briefly explained my history and she suggested a cerclage, she can do either a Shirodka or Mc Donald. Both my babies were born at Gloucestershire Royal however the care I received on my second pregnancy wasn’t the best so I have decided to travel to St Michael’s for better monitoring on my cervix.

I was initially more wanting a transabdominal but after speaking with both Dr Simpson and Dr Griffin the Shirodka seems to be just as effective.

I cannot go through another loss. I’m turning 30 this week my partner is 36 and we’ve been trying to start a family for 6 years. We had 3 years of infertility followed by two second trimester losses. I’ve done everything I can possibly do to ensure my body is as healthy as it can be for both pregnancy’s.

Dearest bereaved parents. Maybe you lost your baby recently, maybe long ago. Maybe you saw them take their first breath, even grew up a little, maybe they were born still, or you lost them some other way. And the amount of trauma in the way we lost them may be different for everyone, but here we all are missing our babies.

There are some things for me that make the load feel less heavy. Wave of Light is one of those things. Each year, on October 15th, light a candle at 19.00 or 7pm local time. This creates a "wave of light" around the globe.

I'll post a photo tonight when the candle is lit. I hope you'll do the same so we can watch the Wave propagating over the world today.💖

I'll light a candle for our little Amber tonight, but also for Pascal, Sofi, Nova, Isobel, sweet baby E. Micah, Brennan, Hugo, Robert, and all the others I've ever learned about, and all the others I'll never learn about. For all babies lost in the past, lost recently and lost years from now. We honor you.

I am not sure how popular this is worldwide but wanted to mention it because it is one thing that I have been looking forward to. I will be lighting a whole bunch for all our babies. Sending love.

We lost our baby girl after my 20-week anatomy scan in June. Things were well and she was perfect until they noticed my cervix was dilated. I had cervical insufficiency. She was our firstborn after years of trying. I also had severe pp preeclampsia and severe anxiety. It was a really a scary time.

Our nurse was our angel and gave us so much love, care, and therapy. She said let the helpers help and if you feel like telling grandparents, they can be the news spreaders (because obviously, who wants to have that same conversation over and over).

My family and extended family have been surprisingly so supportive and have offered words of encouragement and prayers. My husband’s extended family is a different story. He and his cousins all very close and grew up together. His parents and his aunts/uncles would be at work and all the kids went to their grandparents house after school. It is a very cliquey family dynamic. Also very gossipy, so for sure everyone would’ve heard about this. Not a single one of them reached out. There was just one- that was it. No one acknowledged it. And it’s surprising bc 99% of them are parents. We weren’t expecting anything but husband noticed out of the blue that no one from his side of the family reached out to him. Instead, it was ignored. All the threads he was a part of, people brushed over it.

I feel sad for him because he’s always been very loyal and loving with his family and the one time he needs love and support, no one’s there yet if any of their kids are having birthday parties, they’re constantly texting him to RSVP and we always show up. I know people react to loss different but it’s just odd. This is probably going to change the trajectory of our relationships and dynamics with his family moving forward…

I lost my baby girl just on the 4th of October at 37 w 6d and I can't imagine going through something like this again. I also can't imagine loving other children if I ever have any as much as I love her. Has anyone gone through something similar? Do you have any children now? Do you love them equally as much? Did you manage to have a healthy pregnancy?

No matter where I go, supermarket, clothes stores, public parks, Mexican take out at night, doctor. There are prams appearing in my face or new parents just stopping in the middle of aisles parading babies in their arms!

Something like that used to bring joy and I'd interact with their little ones. I still find them cute but it's a dagger to my heart. Why did I have to be the freak statistic, the walking nightmare, with a third trimester stillbirth. These other parents are the norm, they had a normal experience, why was mine flipped upside down. Where is my baby.

Just screaming into the void here with people who will understand 💔

I just had my 16 week appointment. Doppler couldn’t find a heartbeat, so we did an ultrasound. The tech took a peek for less than 3 minutes and said she couldn’t find a heartbeat and baby is measuring at 14 weeks. I have no bleeding or cramping or any changes. I am distraught obviously, but are there any chances they could be wrong? They will follow up tomorrow as our appointment was late, but I’m just trying to grasp at any straw of hope they are wrong.

I feel like I have to keep myself insanely busy because the minute I have nothing to distract me, I remember how much I hate my life. I have no friends, no child, no enjoyment in everyday things.

Honestly without my husband I fear there would be no reason to carry on but that’s not a burden he should have to carry.

12 weeks and 4 days ago, my precious little girl passed away.

On the day of her funeral, as my husband’s parents were leaving the house, they told my mother that they had been having trouble talking to their son for a while. It’s not that they literally don’t speak to him. They do. It’s more that their son has become difficult for them to deal with. He might ask them questions they don’t like answering.

During the funeral ceremony, I held my little girl in my arms for the first and last time. My mother overheard my father-in-law saying that it was all a circus.

Some time later, my sister told me that perhaps God was punishing me because, in her opinion, I had turned my back on Him. She repeated this three times, so it can’t have been a simple misunderstanding.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my mother, and she told me she felt uncomfortable because I hadn’t allowed my sister-in-law and her husband (my sister-in-law being my husband’s sister) to bring plastic wreaths to my daughter’s grave.

I had asked people not to bring them. At least, I had told my own relatives. Apparently, my husband forgot to tell his family, but that’s okay. When I told them not to bring the wreaths, they respected my wishes and didn’t bring them.

My mother thought I had handled the situation badly and that I should have accepted the wreaths and then taken them somewhere else afterward. Basically, I was expected to make things convenient for everyone else.

The people who helped us organize the funeral went to a church and asked whether my daughter could be brought inside. They were told no. A long time after the funeral, my sister went to another church, where she was told that a child could be brought inside. She then started implying that the people who had helped us organize the funeral hadn’t done enough or hadn’t handled things properly, even though they were the only ones who stepped forward to help us. Everyone else stood aside, yet somehow still found things to judge us for.

And there are so many other things that have happened.

I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to think or what to do anymore. And most importantly, I don’t understand why people behave this way toward us, parents who are going through such a devastating loss.

P.S. English isn’t my first language, so I hope I’ve been able to explain the situation clearly and get the context across.

I had a miscarriage at the end of April and lost my baby boy. I was 11+5 weeks along. His due date was supposed to be November 13th, which is also my husband’s birthday. Any advice on what to do to honor and celebrate my baby but also get through the day? I’m dreading it because I know I’m going to be so sad. Has anyone else gotten through their missed due date and have advice on what to do? Hugs to anyone reading this 💕🍓

I miss my baby so much every single day. It’s been about 5 weeks and today I’m having so many thoughts of wanting to go and be with him that it’s scary. I would never do anything like that, but it’s really painful and I don’t know what to do 😭