I feel like an absolute buzzkill for even arguing over money with close friends, but I need an outside perspective because the group chat is making me feel like a monster. Last weekend six of us rented a cabin for my friend Sarah’s 27th birthday. Sarah booked the place and told us in advance that the total came out to $340 per person for two nights. We all agreed to teh cost, assuming everyone got a bed.

When we arrived, it turned out the cabin only had three bedrooms. Sarah and her best friend immediately claimed the master suite with a private hot tub balcony. Two other girls got the second room with queen beds. Sarah then turned to me and the other girl and casually pointed to an inflatable air mattress already set up on the floor between the kitchen island and the fridge.

i told Sarah privately that I was happy to pay for my food, but it didn’t make sense for me to pay $340 to sleep on a squeaky mattress on cold tile where people would be walking past me at 6 AM to make coffee. She got furious, accused me of 'ruining her birthday vibe' and said an agreement is an agreement. The other girls are siding with her, saying we always split things evenly. Am I being petty here or is this actually insane? I dont want to lose my friends over this.

Everyone in my family is treating me like an unhinged villain right now, so please give me a reality check because I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

We rented a lake house for a four-day holiday weekend. I (26M) drove up in my car—a 2022 Mazda I spent the last three years working overtime to pay off. Yesterday afternoon I woke up from a nap, looked out teh second-floor window, and saw my car jerking violently down the gravel driveway. My 21-year-old brother had taken my keys off the kitchen counter and was letting his girlfriend drive it.

She doesn't even have a driver's license. She was laughing while scraping the undercarriage over ditch rocks and almost backed into a wooden fence. when I ran outside barefoot and demanded the keys, my brother rolled his eyes and told me to 'chill out, she's just practicing parking.' He didn't even apologize.

I was so furious my hands were shaking. I packed my duffel, got in my car, and drove the three hours back home. Now my parents are blowing up my phone saying I ruined the whole trip because they needed my car for groceries, and that I'm prioritizing metal over family. Am I actually wrong here? I dont know anymore.

I have become more religious over the past few years. Because of that, I made the personal decision that I want to abstain from sex until marriage. This is genuinely important to me spiritually and personally.
The complicated part is that I didn’t always have this boundary. I had sex in previous relationships before becoming more religious (8 years ago) and my bf knows about my past. We’ve been together almost two years and are seriously discussing marriage. At first he said he is ok with waiting, but the longer we date, the more this comes up.
We argue about this often. His feelings are that it’s unfair because other men got to experience something with me that he now doesn’t get to, even though he is the person I’m planning to marry. He has gone back and forth several times about whether he can actually accept this and move forward with me.
He says he doesn’t want to pressure me, but he also feels that I should make the “right choice” given my past, and that it’s unfair for him to have to wait when I didn’t make that choice before.
I understand why he might feel hurt or struggle with this. But I’m struggling with where the line is between having valid feelings about my past and actually respecting my current boundary.
I also don’t want to feel like I’m being punished for having a past by being expected to give up a boundary that is important to me now.
So I’d really appreciate outside perspectives:
Can someone disagree with your boundary and still genuinely respect it? Is it reasonable for him to feel this is unfair? And is it reasonable for me to expect him to accept my decision without repeatedly trying to convince me that I’m making the “wrong” choice?
For context, we love each other and are seriously considering marriage. I’m not looking for people to tell me he’s automatically terrible or that I’m automatically right. I genuinely want to understand whether this is something couples can work through. Please be kind. This is really hard for me to even post.

TL;DR: I’ve decided to abstain from sex until marriage because of my religious beliefs, even though I had sex in past relationships before becoming more religious. My boyfriend of almost two years, whom I’m seriously considering marrying, feels it’s unfair that he has to wait when others didn’t. He’s gone back and forth on whether he can accept my decision and sometimes makes me feel like I’m making the wrong choice because of my past. I understand his feelings, but I don’t want to be pressured into abandoning a boundary that’s important to me. Can he disagree with my decision while genuinely respecting it? Is his feeling that it’s unfair valid, and is it reasonable for me to expect him to stop trying to convince me to change my mind? Can couples work through this when they love each other and want to get married?

Hey, all, I’m a 24-year-old woman and this happened today. I booked a 30-minute full body oil massage and expected a female therapist. Instead, a man came in, pulled my underwear down until my butt was exposed without asking. He didn’t touch my vagina, but I felt uncomfortable and violated. He touched my legs maybe once or twice, it felt like it was a back and butt massage, not full body. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but I didn’t consent to that. Has anyone experienced something similar?

Okay so I'm 18, and a senior in high school. I don't have my shit figured out, which I feel like no one does at 18. Whether I do things wrong, or stuff that's not that serious. My dad always brings up pregnancy, he's always assuming I'm with a boy.
I feel like the only reason why I even have as to be boy crazy was because he kinda fear mongers even liking one. Sometimes he'd bring it up over grades, or something unrelated. That I'm allegedly bound to be a bum and a mom. I think it's borderline pedo, and mainly because he was a very bad kid and got multiple women pregnant when he was under 18.

(I may use strong language and word things weirdly, I'm a very angry autistic person and I will not filter myself)

I (19nb) play roblox and I love cute aesthetics and fashion styles, like Jirai Kei and Girly Kei etc. My roblox avatar has a doll base and my sister (19f) keeps complaining it's "goonerbait" and that it's not safe for a childrens platform and I should change it. (bundle is Y2K Gal v2 by idk man and i have a different anime style head, the body bundle has no prominent chest, but it does have legs and a torso like Pinkie Cooper dolls or Monster High dolls/other bjd dolls)

I, and all of my friends and people I'm in a community with for roblox, think its fine and nowhere near what she's claiming. Yea, it has curves, its a doll for fucks sake its not a stickman. It's in no means realistic, and I'm not wanting it to be and not claiming It should be seen as anything other than an avatar. I'm not saying I or anyone else should look like it because I have a brain.

If I could I would add pictures, my avatar just looks like a cute(in my opinion) doll. I take criticism in game and online and when someone had a thought I could be a bad kind of weird based on my avatar I changed it, but with my sister it feels like she just doesn't care if its a style or not supposed to be real or human.

I'm not an ageplayer or anything weird like that, but she thinks I'm weird for having an avatar that has curves on an all ages game platform. Even when I don't gonout of my way to interact with minors, and when I do its brief and it's advice about online safety (always in a public chat) I don't talk to any minors alone and none are in my gaming sessions in roblox (verified 18+ account so they couldn't talk if they tried). They can see my avatar, but would you think it's goonerbait to have an avatar that looks like a doll? Am I wrong here?

I will add pictures if I could to clarify if I figure out how.

We had a small disagreement over something that really shouldn't have mattered that much. I felt like my side wasn't being understood, so I kept explaining and bringing up extra examples even though they told me twice they were done talking about it. After a while they got quiet and left the room. I still feel like the point needed to be made, but maybe I went too far by not letting it go when they asked. Now things feel off between us and I'm wondering if I should have just backed off instead of trying to keep the conversation going.

​

My bf is great! But. (23m) is always late. Not by hours! That's hella rude and would be a dealbreaker. But just like 5-20 minutes usually. This time it was 45 minutes to my dad's birthday which kind of felt embarassing? I dont know why, lol. I felt judged on his behalf. He said he got busy mid video game and he couldn't abandon his raid team. I said to him, "Hey, I'd really appreciate if you could try to be on time, today yup but just in general". He told me - I was making a mountain out of a molehill and that expecting him to value my dad's birthday when I had plans with my friends on his dad's birthday is a double standard. I can kind of see this? I feel a bit guilty, I am not sure. - that bringing up that he's usually 5 to 20 (by saying in general) is nitpicking. Ik it isn't that big a deal.

Aita for a) expecting him to go to my dad's bday b) bringing up the other times given it's usually under 20 min.

our group chat was rolling along with the usual banter when one person made a joke at another person's expense. it landed flat for me so i just said maybe tone it down a little. didn't call anyone out by name or get dramatic, just pointed out that it felt off. after that the energy shifted fast. some people stopped replying, others reacted with single word answers, and the original jokester hasn't said anything since. i wasn't trying to start anything, just thought it was fair to mention it in the moment. now i'm second guessing whether i should have stayed quiet or if i handled it the wrong way. wanted some outside perspective before i decide whether to follow up or just let it sit.

So this is my first thread in this sub. As a backdrop, my dad's current job since 2011 is being one of the teachers in a small after-school program like every week or so and since 2012, I've tagged along with him as a volunteer teacher assistant for many years now and we've formed a somewhat tightly knit relationship with the boss herself and her daughter. I've also been to parties with the place and the boss/staff on multiple occasions during both the school years and sometimes in the summer (or just before). And as a young volunteer teacher assistant, I have gotten paid multiple times but less and less since the business is struggling a little with the attendance number of kids dropping or dipping a little recently. And our job is to take care of the kids for each grades with their own rooms and to check/correct all their homework and extra work and to assist the kids with them (I usually take care of the English work, while my dad covers the Math work, but we sometimes overlap). And we take care of both the 3rd and 4th Graders in one of them and suffice to say, I can say I'm consistently pretty popular and well-liked with them as the younger nicer and cooler version of my dad. As a caveat however, my after-school is not a completely formal office-like setting, it's more of an ad-hoc setting in the form of a publicly rented space.

And as a reference, my dad is an Blood O-Type person who is known to have a quick trigger-happy temper and an attitude (like a serious one) and constantly clashes with both me and my mom over matters, whether big or small and trivial to serious, and often blows up with me, my mom, and even the kids in the after-school we are tasked with taking care of to the point of making a few of them cry occasionally, whether he or they were in the right or wrong or how proportionate/disproportionate his response was. And my mom often points out how argumentative my dad is and how prone is to suddenly blowing up time and time again.

-------- IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THE ABOVE INTRO --------

A week ago or two on a Thursday, my dad and I were in a room near the window door to the side roof of the building and one kid in the corner was unable to concentrate with his work in peace because of a huge fly constantly flying around him and I wanted to help him by opening the glass window-door and attempted to let the fly out, and despite my initial attempts and efforts to step in and help, the fly wouldnt go away and my dad started yelling at the kid a little and complaining about both me and him being disruptive or distracted. And my dad also lowkey tried to chasiste us for not being quiet and orderly in his eyes. Like I’m just trying to do the child a favor by trying to make the fly go away and get it out of his sight to help him resume his homework in peace and eventually I did get the fly to get to the other side of room somehow and with the window door open, I wasn’t sure if the fly finally got out. But nonetheless I still got into a brief argument with my dad protesting him for his reactions while trying to be as restrained and even a little professional as possible myself over how he handled the situation. And his issue was that also about how I apparently didn’t do it fast enough or in a timely enough matter in his eyes (like for 3 minutes). Like wtf mate, it’s not my fault that the fly refused to leave the corner where the kid was seated and doing his work in. What the bloody hell was I supposed to do? Just let the kid continue being distracted and bothered by the fly and just ignore him and let him feel uncomfortable without doing a damn thing about it and affect his peace? 

So channeling my inner radical and using my platform as teacher assistant in the room, I further protested and called out my dad for how he reacted to both of us and complained about the situation and I questioned my dad if he only seemed to just care more about his view of “quiet and order” over a child’s safety and emotional welfare and having some basic empathy for the kids. But my dad just doubled down on his stance and further accused me of simply arguing with him and kinda tried to make it look like I was only trying to start shit with him for the sake of it in front of all the kids I believe. That's about the best that I could accurately describe it based on my pure memory and without sounding too biased against him.

So I asked the rest of the kids in the class to take a vote and raise their hand if they thought my dad was being the unreasonable one and even apart from the same kid I tried to look out for and intervene to help, I had about six kids raise their hands in agreement while the rest of the class didn't out of not paying attention to what just happened or they were just your fence-sitters. I don't know, we didn't do a formal vote. But anyways one of the kids in front, who may or may not have been one of the six to raise their hands, remarked to my dad that he does seem to just constantly complain about these matters or whatever. And that was it and going home, my dad continued to double down by telling me not to argue with him. Regardless, I felt like I was mentally channeling what MLK said about how unjust laws are no laws at all and this quote criticizing: "...who is more devoted to 'order' than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice...". Now I'm not trying to turn this thread into a discussion over social justice, civil rights, and general politics, but that is precisely how I felt about the whole situation with my dad and the kid in the class.

So anyways, am I in the wrong for pushing back against my dad and calling him out for his attitude or even continuing in my attempts to help solve the kid's problem in the first place and even trying to have the class vote on who was being reasonable? Am I the one who's actually being unreasonable here?

If so for both questions, what should I have done or said instead if you were in my position?

Bonus Question: I tried to tell a friend (sorta, she's more of a community rehab trainer) about this whole situation and she didn't even bother to give a formal response outside of "you shouldn't be arguing with your dad" and refuse to give me an answer about who was actually in the right or wrong or even tell me if she was taking a "neutral" stance. The least she could have told me was "I'm not taking sides in this". Was she in the right to do this?

a friend is getting married in the spring and their list kept growing. a few days ago they messaged saying the ex would feel left out and asked if it was cool. i typed back okay, but the more i think about it the more it feels off. i am not mad at the ex, we are civil, but having them there with my current partner and the whole extended family feels like extra tension no one asked for. i did not know how to say that without sounding dramatic, so i just agreed. now i keep replaying the conversation and wishing i had been clearer or asked for a day to think. am i overthinking it or should i bring it up again?

We've been dating for a few months and my partner offered to help me with something that needed doing a while back. I didn't push for it right away because they sounded sincere, but the weeks have passed and it's still sitting undone. I brought it up once more recently and they said they'd get to it soon, yet nothing's changed. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it, but it feels like the offer was made just to keep me happy at the time. When I think about it, it starts bothering me more than I expected. Am I wrong for feeling let down over something that was never officially promised with a deadline?

My husband is Canadian, and I’m from Latin America. We got married after knowing each other for about six months, and now, a year later, I’m 18 weeks pregnant.

Since moving in together, I’ve realized that he sometimes drinks quite a lot, including by himself. I’ve told him several times that it makes me uncomfortable and worries me, but we keep having the same argument.

Recently, he promised he would only drink on special occasions. He broke that promise, we argued, made up, and he promised again. Yesterday, he drank again.

He doesn’t become aggressive or violent, but I’m worried about this pattern, especially because his father and brother have struggled with alcohol in the past.

I’m far from my family, I can’t easily travel home because of my immigration situation, and I don’t have a work permit yet, so I’m financially dependent on him. Sometimes I regret having a baby so soon into our relationship, and I feel incredibly lonely.

I love my husband, but I want to feel secure in my marriage. Am I overreacting because I grew up in a family where drinking wasn’t common, or is this something I should take seriously? I’d really appreciate honest advice.

I’m 31, and the guy I’m seeing is also 31 and makes around $170K a year. I make $110k.

Recently, he told me to lean in and smell his Guess cologne. Then he made a point of telling me how expensive it was. I asked how much it cost, and he said $20!

Honestly, the entire interaction gave me the ick.
First, I do care about a man’s grooming and the products he uses. I don’t expect him to spend hundreds of dollars on everything, but I prefer a man who invests in himself. Finding out he wears $20 cologne was already a turnoff for me.

But what made it worse was him emphasizing how expensive it was. He’s 31 and makes $170K, so I found it strange that he seemed to consider $20 cologne a splurge.
Meanwhile, women’s cosmetics, skincare, haircare, and other beauty products can cost hundreds of dollars. Women often spend significant amounts maintaining their appearance! My Chanel perfume from Sephora is $150+ for example.

I’m not expecting him to wear $300 designer cologne, but I would expect someone making $170K to have a different perspective on what constitutes an expensive personal care product.

Now I’m feeling turned off and wanting to distance myself. I realize this might sound superficial, but I can’t help feeling that his choice of cologne and his comment about the price changed how I see him.

Am I being unreasonable and materialistic, or is it fair to have standards around a man’s grooming habits and spending mindset? Would this give you the ick, too?

a few weeks ago a friend and i decided to keep this big plant together. we had a simple plan: they would water it on their days and i would handle it on mine. pretty straightforward. lately though they've started bringing it over to their place more than we talked about, and when i mentioned it they brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. i let it go in the moment but it's been sitting with me. i keep thinking about whether i should bring it up again or if i'm making something small into more than it needs to be. we never had any drama before so maybe i'm reading into it, but it's been a few days and it's still on my mind. am i wrong for feeling like the original agreement should still count?

so our little group has this tradition of grabbing dinner every couple of weeks and then heading out for something else. i always invite my partner, but lately it feels like every time i bring them up the plans suddenly change or people stop replying in the group chat. the last two times we ended up at a bar with only half the crew, and no one told us the rest had gone elsewhere. when i asked what happened i got the usual "oh we lost track of time" answers. it is starting to feel deliberate, like they are okay with me showing up but not okay with my partner coming along. i have tried to brush it off, but honestly it is starting to make me dread these nights instead of looking forward to them. am i reading too much into this, or should i just stop bringing it up?

Last week I was just having a rough day so I typed a quick message in our shared group chat about how my partner sometimes leaves chores half-done. I thought it was a small vent but a couple of friends replied saying it felt like complaining behind their back and now one of them has gone quiet on me. My partner later found out through someone else and asked why I didn't bring it up with them first. I apologized but things still feel off. I wasn't trying to stir drama I just didn't think twice about where I posted it. Now I'm wondering if that single message was enough to make them question the relationship or if I'm making it bigger than it needs to be. Would like an outside read before I decide how to fix it.

Sis planned visit to ATL with 2 kids under 5. She asked me to come since i live 3.5 hrs away. I had to move & issues came up which i communicated. This was her response to me. for context: i am single w/7 pets. She is married w/3 kids under 5. She makes over 400k /yr, i make less than 50k/yr.

i texted "promise i'll respond in a few days" bc unexpected emergencies came up.
She texted: "part that annoys me is u say it’s hard to travel, then ur in CO/Montana in july. I gave u dates. You only have you. There aren’t that many balls in the air. It’s annoying to bail last minute. But maybe that is the type a part of me. I wasn’t asking u to spend any money. But at this point I really dn’t feel like a road trip bc I can’t do more conflict. I have too much on my plate.

I responded explaining in list form and in detail that CO/Montana was paid for by friends fam who invited me, leaving my animals led to me coming home to my dog dying who was my child for 11yrs, to unchanged litter boxes w/pee overflowing sides n dried poo on flr bc she overfed them n still cost me over 500. n every animal has fleas from backyard in new house so had to take off work to spray everything from carpet to couches etc, vet bill for immediate meds, n was informed last thurs that i had to complete project by 23rd that i have 3 months to complete in the past. not moved out of old slumlord dangerous house yet bc of fleas, have severe depression whci is physical n just bc i smile for pics n go out sometimes i am still inside morbidly depressed n perpetually exhausted. i never said i couldnt meet up i said i needed a few days to deal with the flea bomb that exploded in my home n get thru few days till everything calms down. n i resent n find it appalling that she would say "youre jsut you not many balls 2 juggle" when i have 7 pets (3 dogs/3cats) now all have fleas. they r my fam just bc i dnt have conventional fam doesn't mean i have less priorities they just look diff but that doesn't make them nonexistent. n this is a pattern she does w/every interaction, lack of ability to see things from another persons perspective bc she is clouded by her own emotions/feelings that she neglects to consider someone elses experience & takes everythig as personal slight, creating drama that otherwise wouldn't exist. being disappointed isn't the same as assigning blame/accusations which is what she did. cant see outsider herself is a pattern that is now impacting me directly. i shouldn't have to explain all this or give play by play to be believed/understood when i say i am overwhelmed even when i literally showed her text indicating former tenants had fleas n didn't tell me ab it.

last text sent was this exactly: "Having fewer conventional obligations doesn’t mean having unlimited time, money, or emotional capacity. I don’t think u intended to minimize , but u have vastly failed to consider them. Alas, the lack of ability to see outside yourself is shocking. Ur prioritizing ur own feelings over what the actual reality is, and then reacting on those feelings. So now this discussion has become about defending myself and trying desperately to be understood at what for me , is an extremely difficult and unexpected circumstance, instead of resolving adjusting and adapting to the original problem. Like I’m just I can’t deal with this rn The level at which I feel utterly appalled and disheartened is beyond explanation 🤦🏻‍♀️. My pets aren’t possessions that can be left or disregarded without thought as if they are not living breathing things. They are my family. I think perhaps yall should do u bc I can’t in the immediate future. Enjoy."

Hello! This is my first post on reddit so please bear with me. I’ll give some context to the situation, as I feel it’s important to know. I’ll also keep names and pronouns anonymous for the sake of ambiguity.

I (19) am a socially awkward person who finds it hard to make friends. My partner (19) is the opposite, they are a people magnet. That being said, I often find myself making friends through my partner. We met a mutual friend (19) during our first year of college, and ever since, the three of us always hang out. This friend has always had a unique sense of humor. They are often sarcastic, or will tease at me and my partner over small, silly things. This never bothered me—in fact, I always thought they were funny.

That was until the jokes started to escalate. Sometimes our friend group will be split up because my partner has class, so it’ll just be me and our friend hanging out. I never noticed until recently that this friend of ours often pokes at my appearance when my partner was not around (so, it was just me and them). For some examples, they poke at small things about my appearance like my forehead, asking for a ‘forehead reveal’ (I have bangs), or saying I need five fingers to cover it. Whatever. Strangely enough, they’ve even commented on my eyebrows. Now, I’m not sure if I’m just being dramatic or overly sensitive, but I don’t find these jokes funny. I’m used to brushing it off, even laughing along in the moment because I’m just so dumbfounded and caught off guard, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. It’s slowly depleting my self esteem.

I did talk to my partner about this, and they pointed out a possible pattern of this behavior occurring, how this happens when they’re gone and it’s just me and our friend alone. I that’s why I mentioned that little detail, because it could be something but I honestly don’t know. I am no stranger to people not respecting me on the same level as my partner is, as I’m more quiet and therefore easier to pick on while my partner is quick to defend herself. They never make these jokes when my partner is around, and will even dismiss these jokes with quick ‘sorrys’ that just don’t sound genuine. I don’t know. I’m feeling really conflicted and insane, because what if there’s a chance they don’t mean any harm by it?

But yeah, my partner told me I should talk to our friend about it because communication is key. I agree, but this was now like maybe two weeks ago and I fear it would just be awkward to bring it up now. The sad part about this is that I’m waiting until it happens again—as it happens often—to bring it up to the friend. It’s just that, as time passes, I find myself slowly resenting the friend more and more. I can’t shake away the feeling that they enjoy/respect my partner more than me. I’m not even trying to be all like “woe is me,” I just want to keep a healthy friendship.

So. . . Am I wrong or possibly at least overreacting for feeling this way??

I was put with my mother to get a tatto at a tatto shop 30 minutes away i left wirk early so she could drive me the drive itself was fine but when I got there the place was closed up because I forgot to tell the tatto lady I was coming at that specific time so my mom started shouting at me about my mistake and h9w she had told je what yo say and so on and asked Mr to buy her a drink which I refused and then she got angry over that and had a bug argument to the point I was so angry I wouldn't go home with her so I had to take a taxi home myself which was quite aggravating