me and my boyfriend are in a 3 year relationship, and we've had our ups and downs. we've known each other since middle school, so we are not strangers by any means. i know he loves me dearly, and i love him too, but as time passed, ive kinda been feeling dread and hopelessness in relation to our time together. i feel like my mental state has genuinely deteriorated due to feeling that, no matter what i do, i may never be truly supported. im not comfortable talking with my parents, and im starting to see that same pattern in my partner. he makes me afraid to speak my mind. i don't want to say something wrong, have something come out stupid and be made to feel like an idiot. i don't feel comfortable having my own opinion around him, everything feels like a competition with him. i remember the last time i posted something political (completely unrelated to him) on my own story he told me off, telling me how i was actually damaging his reputation. i don't feel like im being treated as an actual human before being his girlfriend. i dont feel comfortable asking for space because he may get offended. i don't feel comfortable asking for my own personal time because it means i don't like spending time with him. i can't talk about other people around him, he always turns my focus onto him. i once showed empathy for a classmate who passed away and he made it all about him, saying how i make our relationship "all about others". i can't simply observe the world or others like a normal person, i feel like a robot. ive went through many personalities at this point: the one who constantly apogizes, the one who sets boundaries no matter what so deal with it, the one who is complacent and walks on eggshells every damn day. it's really tiring, i don't know who i truly am anymore. i try communicating and inviting him to but it's hard to change when all he does is bring up my past mistakes. at this point i just truly believe that im incapable of being a good girlfriend. but i try to be the best lover for him, as he has a bad home life and had bad experiences with his exes. i just want to be the right person for him. i broke up twice with him, but we have so much history that i came back every time. and since then, he's used me leaving against me, telling me "i don't leave" when i ask for space or start showing signs of shutting down emotionally. i really do think all this stuff is me being dramatic and im just hard to live with all my emotional issues and triggers. ive thought about breaking up with him again, because other than the lovey dobey times, the collaborative aspects of a relationship seem to be completely gone by now. i envy other relationships with healthy dynamics, who seem to get along great and treat each other like normal people with their own lives. again, i love him with all my heart, but i don't know how much longer i can really consider a future with him, much less the present.

My ex did something messed up. He calls it a mistake, but to me it was way worse. Since the day we met, he lied to me about his real identity, and where he lives. He lied about other major things like what he is studying and who he hangs out with. It was lie after lie, and it went undetected until a year of dating him, when he accidentally emailed me from his real identity.

He then spent 4 hours trying to gaslight me that it wasn't him and people hacked him to impersonate him, before he gave up and came clean about the lies. I did not handle this well, it's shattered my mental health to discover my partner was a giant liar.

I kept it secret for a while to protect him, but eventually I told our friends because it was way too heavy. They completely minimized what he did, making excuse after excuse why it isn't a big deal, and now I feel hurt and abandoned that no one in my life thinks the mass lying was okay. AIW for expecting them to care more?

Today was my girlfriend and I’s one-year anniversary. We had planned to go shopping together and let each other pick out our own gifts, which was something we had both agreed on. Recently, I’ve gotten into building Gundam model kits, and I had made it pretty clear that was what I wanted. I’ve never really gotten to pick out my own gift before, so I was genuinely excited about it. I also know she enjoys choosing her own gifts, which is why I thought the plan would be perfect for both of us.
To my surprise, she had already bought me a dinosaur charm for a chain that already has other charms on it. I was still grateful that she had gotten me something, and I took her to get the gifts she wanted. Afterward, I asked if we were ready to go get the model kit I had been looking forward to. She responded by saying, “Let’s call it even because I got you that charm.” I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so I kept my thoughts to myself at first.
We ended up sitting in the parking lot in complete silence for about 30 minutes before I finally asked, “So we aren’t getting the model kit?” That started an argument because she felt like I wasn’t showing enough appreciation for the gift she had gotten me. I understand why she might have felt that way, but I genuinely was grateful for the charm. I was just disappointed because I thought we had already agreed on how we were going to exchange gifts.
For context, I had spent $150 out of the $200 in my bank account on her gifts, along with a bunch of snacks and flowers. I wasn’t expecting her to spend the same amount on me, and it wasn’t about how much money she spent. I was excited about picking out something I had wanted for a while, and I had even been telling people that my girlfriend was going to get me the model kit.
When we got home, my parents asked where the model kit was, and all I could tell them was that the store didn’t have it. The truth is that I felt embarrassed and disappointed because the plans we had made didn’t happen. I appreciate that my girlfriend thought of me and got me a gift, but I also feel like what I had been excited about didn’t really matter to her. I can understand why she thought I was being ungrateful, but I never intended to make her feel that way.
AIW for being disappointed about not getting the gift we had agreed on, even though I appreciated what she got me?

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I agreed to pick out our own gifts for our one-year anniversary, but she bought me a dinosaur charm and said we should call it even instead of getting the Gundam model kit I had been excited about. I appreciated her gift, but I felt disappointed that our original plans were ignored, and she felt I was being ungrateful. Am I the asshole for feeling this way?

This happened a couple of months ago, but has sat really really wrong with me since it happened.

Over the summer I (18F) started hanging out and kinda hooking up with a friend of mine (17M) I had never had a relationship before and didn’t want to start one now, and he was still trying to get over his ex and needed a rebound. Eventually I decided that I wanted to cut things off and go back to being only friends since we both were getting too emotionally attached (we were work friends not close friends before).

Admittedly way too soon I was bored and invited him to come over and hang out as friends since he had mentioned not having plans. I specifically said as friends, and we both agreed. Although he kept starting to flirt with me and I had to remind him that we were hanging out just as friends several times throughout the night.

We ended up watching a movie that didn’t end until like 30 am. He fell asleep during the movie and was super out of it and so I offered to let him spend the night instead of driving the 30 minutes home (I was worried about him falling alseep driving).

He agreed and climbed into my bed. I went to the bathroom and changed into pjs and by the time I got back he was asleep again. I didn’t want to seem creepy by climbing in bed with him since he was asleep, and I had a pile of blankets at the bottom of my closet for a reading book so I laid down there and was scrolling before I went to sleep.

He woke up about 20 minutes later and said that he felt bad taking the bed and for me to climb in with him. I told him no because he was still half asleep, and he said he would just go home if I didn’t. I, again, was worried about him falling asleep driving so I got in bed with him.

A little bit later he ended up putting his knee between my legs- like right up against my cooch. I tried moving to adjust it but he wasn’t getting the hint so I asked him to move his leg down. He did without complaint but as he shifted it happened a couple more times. I eventually realized that he wasn’t understand why I was asking him to move so I asked him if he did and he said no. I explained to him that it was pressing against my cooch and that’s why I wanted to move and he just kidna said “oh” and moved. All good.

Eventually I fell asleep. While I was asleep I lowkey had what I thought was a wet dream, was super turned on and was grinding on something. I thought it was a dream.

When I woke up we were just kinda talking and his knee moved up again. I again asked him to move and he responded with “yeah, I didn’t realize what you meant before but then when you were asleep you were kinda moving on my knee… I thought if I pushed up you would stop.” I was horrified and embarrassed and apologized profusely and he said it was fine and moved on.

This has literally haunted me since then. I know that I shouldn’t have hung out with him so soon after ending things, and I shouldn’t have let him spent the night, or sleep in the same bed as him. But like, I feel like there’s more to that, I feel awful that I was grinding on him in my sleep and even though he said it was fine I feel like I assaulted him. Did I?

There’s also this lingering feeling in the back of my mind that maybe he knew what he was doing when he pushed his leg up? Like he’s had girlfriends before and also we used to hook up? And the was he told me what happened feels… off. I don’t want to victim blame either since I was the one who did something to him.

Am I being over dramatic? Was this just a harmless misunderstanding or did I sa my friend?

Hi guys,long story short. I (20M) left a trio friendgroup recently this year as I felt like we were drifting apart far. We had been friends for around 12 years since primary school but many many things has changed since then.

Primarily it started from 3-4 years ago when we attended our own polys (for some reason,we never decided to go to the same poly lmao).

I started dealing with some gambling problems/depressive episodes (2-3 times) and occastionally would leave the friendgroup as I just thought that maybe I should just suffer alone since I would just be a parasite to this friendgroup. For friend A, he had social anxiety but thankfully it became better for him and he found a girlfriend since year 1. For friend B, he found a new friend group who he grew super close with and started meeting them a lot . We slowly started drifting apart but we would still meet up maybe once every 2-4 weeks to talk to each other and catch up.

I have been noticing something tho,every single time I had my depressive episode or I am suddenly not free,they would just meet up among themselves which I of course,was fine with as it was my issue. However, when either friend A or friend B is suddenly not free and we were supposed to meet that day,suddenly the other one would not want to hang out with me eventhought he is free.

Recently,they have been discussing some business stuffs with each other like one piece selling on tiktok and they made quite a lot. However, they didnt share with me at all which just made me feel even more left out. Even when they had relationships issues,they only pmed each other. Even when we meet up,they always just talk to each other about the topics they were talking about last time and wouldnt catch me up with the information. We have a group chat by the way with only the 3 of us.

This year,friend B also found his girlfriend which was really really neat. However,with that,it meant that we were only meeting once every 3 months since they both rather meet their girlfriends 5-6 times a week. 3 months ago,I had another episode and needed someone to talk to. I texted the groupchat and was left on read instead. After a while,I pmed them and one decided that doing grab food delivery was more important while another decided that they were too busy to meet up with me. I just felt sad as I knew I had my issues but when they had their issues and needed someone to talk to,I was there for them immediately. We lived 3 bus stops within each other so it wasnt that inconvenient too.

Sad to say,I left the groupchat and blocked them which yes,its a bixxh move but tbh,I think it might be better that I am not with them anymore. I think everyone just grew and had different priorities. Not sure what everyone thought about this? Thanks for reading as well.

went out with a few friends the other night and when the bill came everything was just split evenly. i ended up paying for more than what i ordered because one person had a couple of extra drinks and another got a big appetizer. i didnt want to make it awkward in the moment so i just paid and later sent a message suggesting maybe we could adjust it or at least be more mindful next time. the reply was that it was just easier to split evenly and that i was making it a bigger deal than it needed to be. i get that splitting is convenient, but it feels off when the amounts are pretty different. i wasnt asking for a full itemized breakdown, just wondering if anyone else felt the same. now it seems like im the one who made things tense and im not sure if i should have just let it go.

So, I (16M) have a friend named Tracy (16F), and every single Friday, I go over to her house. If there isn't a baseball game at school, we hang out at her house, but if there is a game, we go to that instead.

However, Tracy was mad at me. Like, REALLY mad at me. I was trying to figure out why she was angry, but she wouldn't tell me. I kept trying to talk to her, but she wouldn't let me. So, I walked up to her in class and asked if I could still come over to her house. She told me, "If you come to my house, I'll beat your ass."

I didn't think Tracy would actually beat my ass, but it was Friday, and around 6:30 PM, I was really bored because I had nothing to do. I was still trying to text and call Tracy when she posted something on her Instagram and Snapchat stories. It was a picture of her sitting on somebody's lap, but the person looked older and bigger than her.

Tracy is really small. She's itty-bitty, around 5 feet tall and less than 100 pounds. When I saw the picture, I also noticed that I had been excluded from her Instagram story.

I went back to her Snapchat story, and she was with some guy who looked older than her. He was hugging her from behind, and I started to freak out. I couldn't see his face, but he looked older because he was bigger and wider. I thought he might be in his twenties.

I was so worried about Tracy that I ran to her house and started banging on the door while calling her name. Her sister, Molly (14F), answered the door and told me, "Jason, fuck off and go somewhere else."

I then messaged Tracy on Snapchat and told her, "If you don't come to the door, I'm going to call the police."

I went into her front yard. There were curtains covering her window, but there was a little crack, and through it, I saw Tracy on top of the guy giving him a BJ.

I started banging on her window, and then Tracy came outside. She was like, "Jason, go away, you fucktard!"

I told Tracy that this wasn't like her and that I was worried about her getting knocked up or getting involved with older guys. Then the guy came outside and said, "My guy, I am 17."

I kept asking Tracy to please talk to me, but she kept telling me to go somewhere else. Then she threatened to beat my ass, so I called the police.

When the police arrived, they started banging on Tracy's door. The whole time, Tracy was inside with the guy. Eventually, Molly answered the door and said, "Jason, we want your gay ass out of here."

Tracy was yelling at me, telling me that if I ever did this again, she would beat my ass. She was SO angry. I have never seen anyone so angry in my life.

The police grabbed her because she was actually about to beat my ass. They looked at her and said, "You cannot threaten to beat somebody's ass, no matter how much they deserve it."

The police told me to leave, so I did because I was really scared. Meanwhile, Molly was screaming at me and calling me all kinds of slurs. She told me that if I ever came back to their house, they would shoot me.

Later, Molly texted me on Snapchat using Tracy's phone. She said, "You better block my sister on everything, and if you ever pull a stunt like that again..."

About two weeks went by, and Tracy was at school. Molly goes to a different school. I still hadn't blocked Tracy because I thought she would eventually come around and realize that I hadn't meant any harm.

Then Tracy walked up to me in the middle of my ROTC activities. I have a really high rank in ROTC, and I've worked really hard to get where I am. My reputation in ROTC is something I pride myself on.

I was talking to my buddy when Tracy walked up and pushed me as hard as she could. Then she kicked me in the nuts and yelled, "You got me sent to the mental hospital, you fucktard!"

She kept yelling at me, and everyone in ROTC was completely mortified. They were asking what had happened.

Then Tracy grabbed me by the legs and yanked me out into the hallway. This was during lunch, so everyone was out in the courtyard. In front of everyone, she beat my ass. She beat the absolute shit out of me.

She was on top of me, hitting me in the head, stomach, and back. She was also kicking me. I ended up with bruises all over my body.

Then she yelled something I will never forget: "If you ever come to my house again, so help me..."

After that, Tracy walked away, and I got up. The entire school had watched what happened, and everyone was mad at me on Tracy's behalf.

People kept asking me what had happened, so I told them the truth. I wasn't trying to make myself look better or paint Tracy in a bad light. They all told me that I deserved it and that I should have just left her house.

I also found out why Tracy had been mad at me in the first place. It was because I had watched an Andrew Tate video. Tracy asked me why I was watching it, and I was honest with her. I told her that I like Andrew Tate, and she got really mad at me because, apparently, he is misogynistic.

Tracy and Molly were also really mad at me, and last night, they went to my house. They threw a bunch of eggs at my house, covered the entire thing in toilet paper, and then left me a note that said, "Fuck you. Burn in hell, you loser."

I told my parents what had happened, and I was hoping they would file a police report because I had been assaulted and they had also vandalized my house. However, my parents just looked at me and said, "You're on your own, kid."

Now Tracy is really pissed at me, and I don't know if we're still friends, but I hope we are.

Nobody thinks what happened was okay, and they're all starting to side with Tracy for some reason. I didn't do anything wrong, and I think it's because Tracy is pretty and has pretty privilege.

I don't think my entire friendship with a girl should end just because I wanted her to come to the front door. I also don't think I deserve to be told to go to hell, called a fucktard repeatedly, called racial slurs, told to kill myself by her and her sister, and screamed at.

I don't think I deserve any of that, and I definitely don't think I deserve to have my ass beaten six ways to Sunday.

For context I had been with this guy for years my first red flag should have been that his family called him a “mamas boy” which isn’t a lie.

So when me and him first started dating he liked to take me out on dates a lot and I never asked him to constantly spend money on me I would have been fine with a simple home cooked meal and staying inside. But his mom started to say “your spending more money on your gf then you do your own mom” (mind you he comes from 2 gay moms 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩) slowly over the years he wouldn’t take me out and started treat his mom like his gf (letting her sit in the front seat, paying for her stuff, taking her out to eat while she sits next to him and I sit across from him, giving her back massages, and buying her stuff) I’m not saying he can’t spend money on his mom but it gets to a point especially when it’s stuff you do with you’re gf aka someone you planing a future with when i brought this up he said I was jealous but I was mainly confused like am I the gf or is you’re mom ???

In my mind a boy mom should never have her son treat her like she’s the gf or like she comes first even with girl moms when you’re kid hits a certain age you’re preparing them to move on find a woman/man, marry and start a family of there own but with her she just wanted to be the main prize.

We have since broke up but I think about this often bc he was slowly starting to treat me like I was just an accessory to him and all we ever did was stay home, smoke, and have sex he literally never took me out (like I said it would have been something simple like walking in a park or something I never expect a man to go out and spend a bunch of money on me) his excuse was money (I asked him to take me to Olive garden for chicken gnocchi soup 11.99 btw) but then once his mom asks to go eat somewhere he gladly says yes and pays of both of them (and she never chose cheap places I’m talking like $60+ bills plus a tip)

Was I just jealous or did I have a right to be concerned??

I’m (f22) my mom (42) called me crying begging me to co-sign for a loan. I’m feeling guilty and trying to understand if I’m wrong.

Recently the transmission on her car she cannot sell the car so she has to fix it. She trades and got the money to fix it then lost it after I advised her not to continue trading and to just fix it.

I live with her while I finish college and I work, I do not currently pay money for rent. Though I’ve offered during arguments with the stipulation that I’m more of a roommate than a child (we both clean after ourselves etc.) She calls me today crying asking me to sign for a loan for her I told her no because she doesn’t even pay back the loans/ credit cards she already has. She got upset and said this is just “one thing” she’s asking me for and I can’t even do that. My thing is she’s borrowed north of 2k from me etc and she always has an excuse why she can’t /shouldn’t pay me back. I’m upset mainly bc it’s never really “one thing” she’s asking me for and then she acts like I never do anything for her until the next time she needs help.

Am I wrong for not co-signing?

my fiancee already bought us plane tickets to and from japan this past summer and paid for our Airbnbs which was nice but for my birthday i got surprised with tickets to italy with more airbnb paid for, made reservation for a nice restaurant for valentine’s day too at vegan restaurant cause we are vegan

my fiancee makes a lot more money than me so it feels a bit annoying cuz i talked about how ive been wanting a wii and instead i get more travel tickets, and yes we have been talking about wantjng to go to italy and i did really love japan but i didnt really want this for my birthday

but i feel rude to not want, but i haven’t been talking that much to my fiancee

i wasn’t too insistent on the wii but i have mentioned a few times i want a wii. didn’t specify i wanted for birthday so just clarifying. maybe i didn’t communicate that well but i thought maybe cuz we already traveled this year it would be assumed i want something different that ive talked about wanting (the wii)

Hey, all, I’m a 24-year-old woman and this happened today. I booked a 30-minute full body oil massage and expected a female therapist. Instead, a man came in, pulled my underwear down until my butt was exposed without asking. He didn’t touch my vagina, but I felt uncomfortable and violated. He touched my legs maybe once or twice, it felt like it was a back and butt massage, not full body. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but I didn’t consent to that. Has anyone experienced something similar?

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My bf is great! But. (23m) is always late. Not by hours! That's hella rude and would be a dealbreaker. But just like 5-20 minutes usually. This time it was 45 minutes to my dad's birthday which kind of felt embarassing? I dont know why, lol. I felt judged on his behalf. He said he got busy mid video game and he couldn't abandon his raid team. I said to him, "Hey, I'd really appreciate if you could try to be on time, today yup but just in general". He told me - I was making a mountain out of a molehill and that expecting him to value my dad's birthday when I had plans with my friends on his dad's birthday is a double standard. I can kind of see this? I feel a bit guilty, I am not sure. - that bringing up that he's usually 5 to 20 (by saying in general) is nitpicking. Ik it isn't that big a deal.

Aita for a) expecting him to go to my dad's bday b) bringing up the other times given it's usually under 20 min.

a few weeks ago a friend and i decided to keep this big plant together. we had a simple plan: they would water it on their days and i would handle it on mine. pretty straightforward. lately though they've started bringing it over to their place more than we talked about, and when i mentioned it they brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. i let it go in the moment but it's been sitting with me. i keep thinking about whether i should bring it up again or if i'm making something small into more than it needs to be. we never had any drama before so maybe i'm reading into it, but it's been a few days and it's still on my mind. am i wrong for feeling like the original agreement should still count?

Sis planned visit to ATL with 2 kids under 5. She asked me to come since i live 3.5 hrs away. I had to move & issues came up which i communicated. This was her response to me. for context: i am single w/7 pets. She is married w/3 kids under 5. She makes over 400k /yr, i make less than 50k/yr.

i texted "promise i'll respond in a few days" bc unexpected emergencies came up.
She texted: "part that annoys me is u say it’s hard to travel, then ur in CO/Montana in july. I gave u dates. You only have you. There aren’t that many balls in the air. It’s annoying to bail last minute. But maybe that is the type a part of me. I wasn’t asking u to spend any money. But at this point I really dn’t feel like a road trip bc I can’t do more conflict. I have too much on my plate.

I responded explaining in list form and in detail that CO/Montana was paid for by friends fam who invited me, leaving my animals led to me coming home to my dog dying who was my child for 11yrs, to unchanged litter boxes w/pee overflowing sides n dried poo on flr bc she overfed them n still cost me over 500. n every animal has fleas from backyard in new house so had to take off work to spray everything from carpet to couches etc, vet bill for immediate meds, n was informed last thurs that i had to complete project by 23rd that i have 3 months to complete in the past. not moved out of old slumlord dangerous house yet bc of fleas, have severe depression whci is physical n just bc i smile for pics n go out sometimes i am still inside morbidly depressed n perpetually exhausted. i never said i couldnt meet up i said i needed a few days to deal with the flea bomb that exploded in my home n get thru few days till everything calms down. n i resent n find it appalling that she would say "youre jsut you not many balls 2 juggle" when i have 7 pets (3 dogs/3cats) now all have fleas. they r my fam just bc i dnt have conventional fam doesn't mean i have less priorities they just look diff but that doesn't make them nonexistent. n this is a pattern she does w/every interaction, lack of ability to see things from another persons perspective bc she is clouded by her own emotions/feelings that she neglects to consider someone elses experience & takes everythig as personal slight, creating drama that otherwise wouldn't exist. being disappointed isn't the same as assigning blame/accusations which is what she did. cant see outsider herself is a pattern that is now impacting me directly. i shouldn't have to explain all this or give play by play to be believed/understood when i say i am overwhelmed even when i literally showed her text indicating former tenants had fleas n didn't tell me ab it.

last text sent was this exactly: "Having fewer conventional obligations doesn’t mean having unlimited time, money, or emotional capacity. I don’t think u intended to minimize , but u have vastly failed to consider them. Alas, the lack of ability to see outside yourself is shocking. Ur prioritizing ur own feelings over what the actual reality is, and then reacting on those feelings. So now this discussion has become about defending myself and trying desperately to be understood at what for me , is an extremely difficult and unexpected circumstance, instead of resolving adjusting and adapting to the original problem. Like I’m just I can’t deal with this rn The level at which I feel utterly appalled and disheartened is beyond explanation 🤦🏻‍♀️. My pets aren’t possessions that can be left or disregarded without thought as if they are not living breathing things. They are my family. I think perhaps yall should do u bc I can’t in the immediate future. Enjoy."

We started off good but some things just didn't add up. She had an ex that was abusive to her and she left him and she told me that she had just got out of a relationship. I have a girl bestfriend and I wanted to wait to tell her and i told my girl best friend that I had a potential gf. My gof seen my gf insta profile pic and called her a whore because she was half naked on a profile pic and her bio she said she was a nurse.
My gf started making up stories about what my gof said and when I said my gf about it she would double down.

| let them talk and they didn't like each other but I made sure they didn't argue w each other. She was going through suicidal attempts and trying to take drugs while i was asleep and i would wake up to her almost overdosing, mind you I don't do drugs at all and she wouldn't stop doing it unless i was sleep. So I told her I'm going to breakup w you if you keep doing this and she stopped. I ended up getting her pregnant and she really was desperate for a baby because of how she was raised she had a bad background but she wanted to be a mother and be the best mother ever. She even wanted 8 kids. So she tells me she's allergic to condoms and she dosent take birth control. So we had sex and sure enough she was pregnant immediately. I notice she would still try to get high while I was asleep and I told her to stop it and im going to get her some help.
So she stopped and as time went on she would brag to everyone how she was pregnant and I wanted it to be special for us. At the same time she had a stalking Ex who threatened to kill me her and the baby. So as a man should I protected her. I made sure she was safe everyday and ate. He tried to attack her at her job a couple times and I made sure she was safe.

So giving that she's pregnant I made sure she ate three times a day and that she was eating healthy. She would tell me sometimes that if she wasn't pregnant she would've offed herself. And I comfort her and made sure she was ok. She was eating but not as much as she was supposed to. We went to the doctor and she told my gf to eat more and I would try ask her to eat more but she would tell me she wasn't hungry some days and said she was already full. We had just seen the baby in the hospital room on the screen found out it was a boy.
So we took a road trip and we were at the beach and he was kicking everything was fine the next day we lost him she said she had to go pee and she seen blood we griefed the loss of her son. While I was trying to grief she wanted to have sex and try again but I told her to pause on the sex and she was upset. Earlier I said she wanted 8 kids and after we loss this one I was devastated and didn't want to try again. She was upset that I broke that promise I felt really bad but I was griefing. She said her ex had stolen her id car and everything. I helped her get a jobs, id and let her in my car. I was going to propose to her before we lost our baby but 3 months in was too early. So I pushed it back for a little while. I tried to introduce her to my mom and she said mom said something about her me and my child on the phone so I called my mom and she said she never said that.
I checked the call logs and something was off mind you me and my mom are not on good terms so it wasn't hard to cut her off but it just didn't sit right.
The call logs didn't add up. So I heard stories from both of them but it didn't add up so kept thinking about it but | let it go. She sleep talks in her sleep and it's creepy and she really defensive when she gets mad and rough handles shit.

She always says that she is no good for me and I should go find someone better and I kept trying to reassure her and I noticed she insecure and jealous and clingy has a lot of traumatic issues from her childhood and ex.
So she's been asking me to marry her and says that she would marry me in a heartbeat if I asked her. But I thought about this long term I just thought that she needed therapy before getting married. So I asked if we can take a break and go to therapy and do some healing. She didn't want to do that she said that we could work on this with each other and I felt like she was using me to heal temporary instead of getting therapy and getting healed. She was very angry about that and I'm just confused on where was I wrong at?? So we been doing good just as friends but she refuses to go to therapy.

The job that I got her she works and she told me that a dude was torching her inappropriately and the manager seen it. So they sent him home. Yesterday she told me that he called her and said that he was going to assault me her and kill our dog?? Does this sound familiar??? So I asked to go through her phone and she was pulling it away from me so she faked cried like I hurt her finger and so I got her phone and ran away. So I opened the phone and went to Instagram and I clicked the dms didn't see anything I clicked her other profile and what I seen is evil as fuck. She texted her other account and typed those things to herself uses ai to change the profile pic from hers to his profile pic. ss and sent it to her boss and got him fired she dosent know that I know. When I went check her phone again she deleted the convo between her and her other profile on ig. My heart is completely shattered I gave her chances and chance after chance and I can't take it any more.

Any advice thank you so much!!!!

I’ll try and keep this short and simple. This post will be vague on details to protect everyone anonymity.

I (46) have been with my partner (41m) for 19 years. We have 3 children.

18 months ago we went through a particularly rough patch and separated for a short period.

My partner, let’s call him John. Has worked in the same place for 7 years. He is well liked and very good at his job and I have always been very proud of him. My biggest issue is that I don’t particularly like his choice of friends. They tend to be quite toxic, love drama and will often be very two faced. One in particularly, I’ve always had some issue with. A woman who he works with, let’s call her Claire (26f) works in the same company as him. She’s quite immature and very selfish. Previously she had an affair with a married man who turned out to be very abusive and manipulative to her. I felt some sympathy cause she genuinely was manipulated by him into an abusive relationship. But I had severe with the fact that during this, she was friends with the man’s wife whilst she was pregnant and even spent time at their house. This made me extremely wary around her and distrustful. But as she works in the same company as my partner I was cordial and polite with her.

When my partner and I were apart, it was maybe a couple months. After we decided we did very much love eachother and decided to try again. Things have been good. We got married 10 months ago.

Since we got back together though, Claire has been around a lot, amongst many other friends. My partner always said he saw her as like a little sister even said how he could never find her attractive, how she sometimes got on his nerves and they had various arguments at work. He knew I had reservations about their friendship but with the age difference and the fact they both insisted it was platonic. I had even asked them both if anything had ever happened between them or if they had a thing for eachother to which both insisted no. I let it go and have never had any reason to be uncomfortable.

We became more friendly, she helped organise my bachelorette party and even attended my wedding.
But a month ago, someone in the company told me that something had happened between them whilst we were apart. As it turned out, they had shared a drunken kiss on night out whilst we were apart.

I felt angry. Hurt and a bit betrayed. Whilst I understand we weren’t together and bid no control over what he did in the time we were apart. The fact she was apart of our shared lives since we got back together, and the fact they both told me nothing has ever happened between them. I’m
Struggling with a lot. Cause if it truly was nothing, why lie about it right?

Since then, I’ve said I’m uncomfortable with their friendship. Her history, coupled with their lie. Makes me distrustful. Would I be the Ahole if I asked him to go no contact outside of work with her? To not socialise with her? To put in strong boundaries with a woman he clearly didn’t fully see platonic.

EDIT…. I’ll also add that I’m hurt that she attended our wedding. I loved my wedding day. It was perfect. We had a small intimate wedding. We only invited a few friends and their partners. But my husband wanted to invite her too. And I now feel like my wedding day is tarnished cause I feel like it was inappropriate she was even there. She came alone.

my family is split on this and i honestly don't know where i stand. we got the notice last week, and while everyone else seems set on going, i don't feel any real connection. my aunt lived out of state and we only met a handful of times when i was a kid. i sent flowers and a card, but the travel costs and time off work add up fast, and the thought of sitting through a service with distant relatives i haven't spoken to in years makes me anxious. my parents keep saying it's about respect and showing support for my cousins, yet they haven't really explained why my absence would matter that much. i offered to call my cousins afterward to check in, but that didn't go over well. part of me feels like i'm being selfish, but another part thinks grief doesn't require attendance at every event. it's been quiet tension ever since i said no, and now i'm second guessing whether i made the right call or if i'm missing something bigger about family duty.

Last week I was just having a rough day so I typed a quick message in our shared group chat about how my partner sometimes leaves chores half-done. I thought it was a small vent but a couple of friends replied saying it felt like complaining behind their back and now one of them has gone quiet on me. My partner later found out through someone else and asked why I didn't bring it up with them first. I apologized but things still feel off. I wasn't trying to stir drama I just didn't think twice about where I posted it. Now I'm wondering if that single message was enough to make them question the relationship or if I'm making it bigger than it needs to be. Would like an outside read before I decide how to fix it.

Hello! This is my first post on reddit so please bear with me. I’ll give some context to the situation, as I feel it’s important to know. I’ll also keep names and pronouns anonymous for the sake of ambiguity.

I (19) am a socially awkward person who finds it hard to make friends. My partner (19) is the opposite, they are a people magnet. That being said, I often find myself making friends through my partner. We met a mutual friend (19) during our first year of college, and ever since, the three of us always hang out. This friend has always had a unique sense of humor. They are often sarcastic, or will tease at me and my partner over small, silly things. This never bothered me—in fact, I always thought they were funny.

That was until the jokes started to escalate. Sometimes our friend group will be split up because my partner has class, so it’ll just be me and our friend hanging out. I never noticed until recently that this friend of ours often pokes at my appearance when my partner was not around (so, it was just me and them). For some examples, they poke at small things about my appearance like my forehead, asking for a ‘forehead reveal’ (I have bangs), or saying I need five fingers to cover it. Whatever. Strangely enough, they’ve even commented on my eyebrows. Now, I’m not sure if I’m just being dramatic or overly sensitive, but I don’t find these jokes funny. I’m used to brushing it off, even laughing along in the moment because I’m just so dumbfounded and caught off guard, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. It’s slowly depleting my self esteem.

I did talk to my partner about this, and they pointed out a possible pattern of this behavior occurring, how this happens when they’re gone and it’s just me and our friend alone. I that’s why I mentioned that little detail, because it could be something but I honestly don’t know. I am no stranger to people not respecting me on the same level as my partner is, as I’m more quiet and therefore easier to pick on while my partner is quick to defend herself. They never make these jokes when my partner is around, and will even dismiss these jokes with quick ‘sorrys’ that just don’t sound genuine. I don’t know. I’m feeling really conflicted and insane, because what if there’s a chance they don’t mean any harm by it?

But yeah, my partner told me I should talk to our friend about it because communication is key. I agree, but this was now like maybe two weeks ago and I fear it would just be awkward to bring it up now. The sad part about this is that I’m waiting until it happens again—as it happens often—to bring it up to the friend. It’s just that, as time passes, I find myself slowly resenting the friend more and more. I can’t shake away the feeling that they enjoy/respect my partner more than me. I’m not even trying to be all like “woe is me,” I just want to keep a healthy friendship.

So. . . Am I wrong or possibly at least overreacting for feeling this way??

So I had plans with a friend for weeks. We were supposed to meet up and do something small, nothing huge, but I was really looking forward to it. The day before they texted and said something came up and they had to cancel. It was frustrating, and I felt kind of brushed off. I told them it was fine and we could reschedule, but honestly I was annoyed. A couple days later they apologized again and explained what happened, and it seemed pretty reasonable. Since then we've been texting like normal. I haven't brought it up again, and they haven't either. Part of me feels like maybe I should have said something more at the time, but another part of me is just relieved that we're still on good terms. I don't have a ton of close friends, so letting this slide feels easier than turning it into a bigger deal. At the same time I'm wondering if I'm being too quick to move on. Is it wrong to just keep the friendship going like nothing happened, or should I have been more direct about how it bothered me?

Hello! This is my first post on reddit so please bear with me. I’ll give some context to the situation, as I feel it’s important to know. I’ll also keep names and pronouns anonymous for the sake of ambiguity.

I (19) am a socially awkward person who finds it hard to make friends. My partner (19) is the opposite, they are a people magnet. That being said, I often find myself making friends through my partner. We met a mutual friend (19) during our first year of college, and ever since, the three of us always hang out. This friend has always had a unique sense of humor. They are often sarcastic, or will tease at me and my partner over small, silly things. This never bothered me—in fact, I always thought they were funny.

That was until the jokes started to escalate. Sometimes our friend group will be split up because my partner has class, so it’ll just be me and our friend hanging out. I never noticed until recently that this friend of ours often pokes at my appearance when my partner was not around (so, it was just me and them). For some examples, they poke at small things about my appearance like my forehead, asking for a ‘forehead reveal’ (I have bangs), or saying I need five fingers to cover it. Whatever. Strangely enough, they’ve even commented on my eyebrows. Now, I’m not sure if I’m just being dramatic or overly sensitive, but I don’t find these jokes funny. I’m used to brushing it off, even laughing along in the moment because I’m just so dumbfounded and caught off guard, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. It’s slowly depleting my self esteem.

I did talk to my partner about this, and they pointed out a possible pattern of this behavior occurring, how this happens when they’re gone and it’s just me and our friend alone. I that’s why I mentioned that little detail, because it could be something but I honestly don’t know. I am no stranger to people not respecting me on the same level as my partner is, as I’m more quiet and therefore easier to pick on while my partner is quick to defend herself. They never make these jokes when my partner is around, and will even dismiss these jokes with quick ‘sorrys’ that just don’t sound genuine. I don’t know. I’m feeling really conflicted and insane, because what if there’s a chance they don’t mean any harm by it?

But yeah, my partner told me I should talk to our friend about it because communication is key. I agree, but this was now like maybe two weeks ago and I fear it would just be awkward to bring it up now. The sad part about this is that I’m waiting until it happens again—as it happens often—to bring it up to the friend. It’s just that, as time passes, I find myself slowly resenting the friend more and more. I can’t shake away the feeling that they enjoy/respect my partner more than me. I’m not even trying to be all like “woe is me,” I just want to keep a healthy friendship.

So. . . Am I wrong or possibly at least overreacting for feeling this way??