Am i wrong here?

[u/Not_LadyCatherine]

Sis planned visit to ATL with 2 kids under 5. She asked me to come since i live 3.5 hrs away. I had to move & issues came up which i communicated. This was her response to me. for context: i am single w/7 pets. She is married w/3 kids under 5. She makes over 400k /yr, i make less than 50k/yr.

i texted "promise i'll respond in a few days" bc unexpected emergencies came up.
She texted: "part that annoys me is u say it’s hard to travel, then ur in CO/Montana in july. I gave u dates. You only have you. There aren’t that many balls in the air. It’s annoying to bail last minute. But maybe that is the type a part of me. I wasn’t asking u to spend any money. But at this point I really dn’t feel like a road trip bc I can’t do more conflict. I have too much on my plate.

I responded explaining in list form and in detail that CO/Montana was paid for by friends fam who invited me, leaving my animals led to me coming home to my dog dying who was my child for 11yrs, to unchanged litter boxes w/pee overflowing sides n dried poo on flr bc she overfed them n still cost me over 500. n every animal has fleas from backyard in new house so had to take off work to spray everything from carpet to couches etc, vet bill for immediate meds, n was informed last thurs that i had to complete project by 23rd that i have 3 months to complete in the past. not moved out of old slumlord dangerous house yet bc of fleas, have severe depression whci is physical n just bc i smile for pics n go out sometimes i am still inside morbidly depressed n perpetually exhausted. i never said i couldnt meet up i said i needed a few days to deal with the flea bomb that exploded in my home n get thru few days till everything calms down. n i resent n find it appalling that she would say "youre jsut you not many balls 2 juggle" when i have 7 pets (3 dogs/3cats) now all have fleas. they r my fam just bc i dnt have conventional fam doesn't mean i have less priorities they just look diff but that doesn't make them nonexistent. n this is a pattern she does w/every interaction, lack of ability to see things from another persons perspective bc she is clouded by her own emotions/feelings that she neglects to consider someone elses experience & takes everythig as personal slight, creating drama that otherwise wouldn't exist. being disappointed isn't the same as assigning blame/accusations which is what she did. cant see outsider herself is a pattern that is now impacting me directly. i shouldn't have to explain all this or give play by play to be believed/understood when i say i am overwhelmed even when i literally showed her text indicating former tenants had fleas n didn't tell me ab it.

last text sent was this exactly: "Having fewer conventional obligations doesn’t mean having unlimited time, money, or emotional capacity. I don’t think u intended to minimize , but u have vastly failed to consider them. Alas, the lack of ability to see outside yourself is shocking. Ur prioritizing ur own feelings over what the actual reality is, and then reacting on those feelings. So now this discussion has become about defending myself and trying desperately to be understood at what for me , is an extremely difficult and unexpected circumstance, instead of resolving adjusting and adapting to the original problem. Like I’m just I can’t deal with this rn The level at which I feel utterly appalled and disheartened is beyond explanation 🤦🏻‍♀️. My pets aren’t possessions that can be left or disregarded without thought as if they are not living breathing things. They are my family. I think perhaps yall should do u bc I can’t in the immediate future. Enjoy."

[u/area42]

YNW She is exhausting. I'd tell her to go f herself, and you got better things to do than deal with her whining.

[u/stable_jerome]

Oof. You laid it all out and she still probably didn't hear a word of it. Seven pets with fleas, a dog dying, a house that's actively trying to kill you with mold or whatever, and a work deadline that got crammed into a week? That's not "no balls in the air," that's juggling chainsaws on a unicycle.

The "you're just you" comment would've had me seeing red. Single people's lives don't pause on command just because we don't have a spouse and toddlers. My three dogs would stage a riot if I tried to leave them with some rando who overfeeds them and lets litter boxes turn into biohazards.

She makes 400k and can't fathom why a 50k life comes with emergencies that don't resolve in 48 hours. The disconnect is staggering. You gave her a timeline and she turned it into a character indictment. That's not disappointment, that's control issues wearing a concerned hat. hell yeah

[u/Not_LadyCatherine → u/stable_jerome]

thank you so much. this is actually exactly what i thought. i did respond something to the effect of "i'm apppalled/shocked" thank you thank u. granted the dog died in august but it was after the colorado and montana trip like i came home to my dog dying from unknown cancer and a neglectful sitter all around so like hiring someone again im just hesitant esp with everything else

[u/EggplantIll4927 → u/Not_LadyCatherine]

I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t blame you one bit. sorry sis,now’s not a good time for me to be away from home. ffs you need time to grieve and hiring a new pet sitter? way too soon

[u/EggplantIll4927]

so what I get out of this is sis is superior because she is a MOTHER so you should, peon, be dropping everything because you have no CHILDREN, hence useless

close? I wouldn’t go this trip. sorry sis, I’m not able to make it. when she says why? don’t explain. you are a grown a$$ adult that doesn’t need a reason. I’m not able to. and if pushed? ask her if she can handle the truth 🤭

I’ve had a rough few months and I am not ready to hire a pet sitter after what happened w Rex.

nothing more. When she says it was just a dog or whatever then add in-and that’s why I did try to make it work. You don’t care about my pets and that’s fine, but they are mine. They are w me every single day 24/7. I know you aren’t able to understand but I’m still processing and can’t leave again at this time.

duck her (I’ve got 2 17 yo old dogs, iykyk’