I was at work at my night shift job just listening to my normal podcasts. Then the new Oprah episode started and it was about perimenopause. For context I have been REALLY struggling with life the last 6 months and seeking a cure to all this chaos going on in my head. I started listening and related SO MUCH to the episode that I texted my husband something that I don’t think I’ve ever asked him to do before… I texted him a screenshot of the Oprah podcast episode and asked nicely for him to listen to it if he gets a chance. I thought to myself he may give it a listen and try and be supportive but honestly the topic itself didn’t give me lots of hope. When I got home I took a shower and relaxed next to him and casually brought up the podcast and how I listened to it. I asked very nervously if he had listened to it and to my surprise- he not only listened to it but he had already purchased the book the podcast was talking about. We then had a long discussion about perimenopause, menopause, and vaginas in general. He was so supportive, loving, and understanding. He had so many thoughts about it but really just listened. It was phenomenally needed. I don’t know what I did in a previous life to deserve such a mate in life.

42 year old female

Snippet:

• Nearly half of Cornell University students found responsible for sexual assault in recent years were punished with extra study programs and written reprimands – but avoided suspension or expulsion, a CNN review of school records found.
• That pattern of relatively lax response by Cornell officials now faces national scrutiny after a woman alleged she was gang raped at a fraternity house.

Just two Cornell students were expelled after being found responsible for sexual assault between mid-2020 and mid-2024, according to the most recent data released by the university. In all, Cornell reviewed 51 formal complaints about sexual assault in that time frame and found students responsible in 16 cases.

• Those statistics highlight a significant problem of Cornell officials minimizing accounts of abuse, five current and former students who filed sexual misconduct complaints at the university told CNN.
• Some of those students say the university found their attackers responsible for the assault – only to let them off the hook with light punishments.

I’ve been going on daily hikes with my kid. Today a woman approached me and let me know there was a man up the trail exposing himself. She pulled out her taser and scared him off.
I went ahead and called police. She didn’t speak English and was worried about being undocumented so she was afraid to call.
She then tells me the is the second time she’s seen him. She had taken a picture of his car the last time it happened to keep an eye out.
I hate that she was exposed to that.
I’m happy that she had protection.
I’m glad she warned us.
I’m sad that she never felt she could report it without getting in trouble.
I’m upset that now I have to be even more vigilant on our hikes.
Do I even want to go anymore?

And then I come home and see all these posts about how that “comedian” was right and women dress like whores.
When fitness bros wear just as little clothing as them. Can we start calling any person who doesn’t wear a shirt whores too? I see guys on my running trail without shirts all the time, are they whores?

I’m so tired.

I just turned 30 and I’ve never had sex. I went to a new Dr. recently and filled out all of the paperwork etc. I told her that I had never had sex at all. She still wanted me to make a plan with her to have a Pap smear since I am overdue and my last one couldn’t be completed because it hurt. After the visit I saw in the portal that they also used my urine sample to test for STD’s. I’m just so confused. Why do drs assume you are lying about being sexually active? It’s more embarrassing to tell the truth at my big age.

It feels like the person asked to give up their seat on a plane is almost always a woman.

and if i think about how the ask goes,its always a man, a couple or a family and wants to sit together and the person they approach is the lone woman in the aisle seat and if you say no, you get a sigh or a look or even a flight attendant sent over. Say yes and you go from the aisle you chose to a middle seat in row 31

I believe the reason is that women are the easiest to ask and idk about you guys but i think women are more likely to say yes and more likely to be punished socially if we don’t. It isn’t about being nice but about knowing how the next six hours go if you refuse.

What bugs me is that seat selection is a paid fee now and when i book through rift flights or skyscanner,I pick my seat on the same minute, because otherwise I end up in whatever’s left and I feel really bad asking someone to give up a seat they paid because its just asking them to eat a cost

And swapping is fine when it’s equal, aisle for aisle, and nobody should expect more. Airlines should seat families together without leaning on strangers and I’m less willing to swap into a seat beside a man I’ve never met than beside a kid and I don’t think I should have to explain that.

Sorry if i am over reacting but i am posting this while waiting for my cab at airport rn ,I had a really uneasy experience while flyin right now(Hate you bald guy i hope you read this)

Reading about the horrible things that women accept as a normal part of being in a relationship makes me so sad. You shouldn’t have to try and gaslight yourself into being okay with behavior that isn’t okay.

When in doubt, try to look at things from an outside perspective. If a friend told you they were experiencing the things you are in their own relationship, would you be happy for them or sad/angry?

For the millionth time: 🗣️ BEING SINGLE IS BETTER THAN BEING IN A SUBPAR RELATIONSHIP!

So I recently went back to work after being on sick leave for a few months and I wanna socialise with my team and not dread going in but there’s this overbearing “nice guy” on the team that I can’t get rid of. Like for example it would be the end of the day and he would come by my desk and say goodbye to me specifically which he doesn’t do with the other girls on the team, or at lunches he would wait for me to come when people would be walking out when I never asked him to wait on me. (And the reason why I would fall behind intentionally would be to avoid him trying to talk to me) or he would wait for me when I’m leaving the table to fall in line with me and start talking to me when I’m actively waiting on him to leave so I wouldn’t fall in line with him. Or we would be sitting at the table as a group and he would try to make conversation with me specifically. Or I would be leaving the table with someone and he would follow us and insert himself in the conversation. Or yesterday I asked a question in the group chat (which he wouldn’t have known the answer as I started a year before him) and then I mentioned in the group I found the answer and he came by afterwards to “help” when I clearly said I got the answer and he wouldn’t have known anyways.

Before I used to have a girl on the team I was close with so somehow that would keep him away cause I would be chatting to her and he couldn’t insert himself in the conversation cause we would chat about niche stuff. Now I don’t have anyone I’m close with anymore and when the group splits up and I still wanna socialise he ends up following whoever I’m going with. And there’s other guys on the team that are straight and I get on with them cause they don’t give off this icky vibe.

It’s hard to explain over properly over text as well without seeming exaggerated cause it’s this overbearing body language and overbearing “niceness” and that’s really unnecessary and uninvited.

I know it sounds I’m exaggerating but I’ve had “nice guys” like this cyber harass me 7 years after I left a workplace.

It makes me feel super icky as well when I get attention from guys like this, like there’s something wrong with me or something. Last night I genuinely couldn’t sleep cause I felt so icky thinking that I’d have to go back and deal with this weirdo it makes me feel dirty or something, like I don’t wanna wear makeup and dress nice(which is normally the only reason why I like going to the office) cause I know I’ll have this icky guy following me around.

Anyone ever had something similar and how do you deal with it? Like I’m trying to be very short with him and when he tries to make conversation with me I give him one word answers unless there’s other people around cause then I don’t wanna make a bad impression and have the others think I’m rude.

How do you make people like that get the message to stop being in your space?

I hesitated to post this because I don't want to trigger anyone who has been through similar experiences. My heart genuinely goes out to those of you who have experienced abuse.

I 29F been dating 30M for a short time who initially seemed very genuine and kind. However, there were a couple of occasions when he made disrespectful comments toward me. He also seemed to downplay his criminal history which made me uncomfortable enough to trust my gut and do a background check. What I discovered was deeply concerning. I found multiple criminal records involving assault, including a charge for assault and battery against a family or household member. He hadn't disclosed everything I found and I was left wondering what else I didn't know. I understand that an arrest or charge doesn't automatically mean someone is guilty and I did find a case that was dismissed. Still, the overall picture raised serious concerns for me. When I confronted him about things, we ended up arguing. After I ended things, he called me a demon and said I deserved to burn in hell. He sent text after text insulting me and telling me how much he hated me. I also discovered that he had taken his personal drama to public social media.

Needless to say, I decided to walk away and he is now blocked. I understand that people can change but I also believe that I'm allowed to protect my peace and take concerning behavior seriously. I know he is on probation for three years in my state which makes me hope that he respects my decision and stays away. Part of why I'm posting is that I've been in a relationship with a narcissistic person in the past. One of my biggest weaknesses is seeing the best in people, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and sometimes giving far too many chances when I should walk away. I think I know deep down that ending this was the right decision, but I could really use some reassurance from people who understand these situations.

How do you learn to trust your gut without second-guessing yourself or feeling guilty for walking away?

I only orgasm when I stimulate my own clitoris (fingering doesn't work and it's pretty unconfortable sometimes). My boyfriend has gotten a lot better at it, but nothing seems to work. It doesn’t matter if he goes down on me (which, by the way, I barely feel anything from, and I don’t know if that’s normal) or touches my clitoris. It feels good, but it never gets me to orgasm.

I’ve guided his hand and shown him what I do so many times, but it just doesn’t feel the same when he does it. A lot of the time, when he goes down on me or touches me with his fingers, it even feels a little uncomfortable, even when he’s being really gentle. It’s just not the same as when I do it myself.

It never feels as good when he does it as it does when I touch myself, and I really wish he could make me orgasm without me having to do it myself.

Does anyone have any advice? Is this normal? I’ve wondered if it might be psychological, since I already find it pretty difficult to orgasm in general, although when I’m touching myself, I can sometimes orgasm multiple times. I don’t know. It’s honestly so frustrating, and I don’t know what to do.

When I’m cooking, when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m driving, listening to music. Is this normal

The absolute state of women's safety measures is infuriating. Following recent safety incidents in New Delhi—including assaults in public parks—local authorities and colleges have responded by tightening curfews for female students, banning women from parks after dark, and moving classes online.

Instead of actually policing criminals and fixing broken law-and-order, the brilliant solution is to turn women's hostels into prisons.

Restricting a woman’s freedom under the guise of "protection" is just institutional laziness. If the administration cannot make public spaces safe at night, they should put a curfew on the perpetrators committing the crimes and let the women walk free. Stop punishing the victims.

I just saw a tiktok video about a girl who got a “good morning” message from her tow truck driver and the comments made me think about how many women get unsolicited messages from men that they were polite to or had a small interaction with.

The worst for me was when I went to the DMV to register my car and the next day the guy who helped me found me on Facebook from the information on my drivers license and asked me on a date :(

What are your examples of men shooting their shot in absolutely bizarre ways?

So I had a horrifying situation at PE today. So I was changing in the bathrooms, and inserted a tampon because I was on my period. I thought nothing of it and met with my two friends as we went to gym. We hung out a little and my friend screams “oh my fucking god is that blood?” and I horrifying look to my shoe, and there was a freaking blood clot and blood on the very bottom side of my shoe. How the hell did it even get there? I don’t even know what I was doing, but without thinking I wiped it with my hand. I’m mortified rewriting this story. So my friend tells me to go wash my hand and my other friend goes with me and all the bathrooms are close so I have to walk halfway across the school with fucking blood clot on my hand. I’m left in the bathroom and I wash my hand and foot and went back to class. I joked around like usual with my close friend and we ignored what happened but I’m fucking mortifiedddd. I’ve been trying to distract myself from the thought but anytime I remember it I just want to curl up and dieee

My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I felt a little pain at first, but after that, it just felt normal to me. He told me he really enjoyed it, but I didn't feel much pleasure at all. Is this normal? Have other women experienced this too?

There were days at primary school where nurses came to give girls the HPV vaccine, but I distinctly remember stupidly forgetting to get my form signed by my parents so I wasn't able to do it, and completely brushed it off at the time. No one bothered to followed up on it. I'm now in my 30s and reading scary things about people ending up with HPV-related cancers. I had absolutely no clue about the head and neck (aka throat) cancer that people get 10-40 years after exposure to the particular HPV strain. I'm happily in a monogamous marriage, with a child, and have been told that getting the vaccine now wouldn't prevent anything from any potential past exposures. I was quite sexually active in my teens and early 20s, mostly from being in peer pressured situations. I am so freaked out. My last few pap smears have come back normal, but the thought that these serious issues could arise decades later is insane. Why didn't anyone double check with my parents why my form wasn't signed?! Ridiculous. I was just a kid. I didn't know how important it was, no one educated me. I'm also concerned about having given anything to my husband. I want us to be around to see our daughter grow old. Any words of wisdom for this anxious mumma would be lovely.

Edit to add that I am completely aware that it's my own fault and not blaming anyone else. I guess just disappointed that it's something I'm now stressing about as an adult and wishing there was an adult with a fully functioning brain that had questioned it to confirm a decision. I don't remember much from back then.

it’s so annoying. just to today I’m waiting for the bus and this guy who was sitting down on a bench gets up. I assume it’s to see if the bus is coming, but instead he goes to stand less that 5 inches behind me, while there’s a whole sidewalk in front to the side of me for him to stand. He just stands there, I move, and he still stands there and I think he’s looking at his phone for the arrival time. Finally he goes back to sit down. I doubt he’d walk over and stand that close to a man.

Its happened at night not long ago, the guy was walking up to where I was standing while looking at his phone. When he looked up and saw me staring him down he acted as if I was the weird aggressor, but he was the one walking up on me at night when the other guys are spaced out in the sidewalk behind us. The behavior seems so off and suspicious.

Why do they need to stand that close to a stranger to do whatever it is they need to do? it’s bizarre and weird. It’s why I never turn my back to men when I am waiting outside. They will always be weirdos that will just roll right up on you and stand practically on top of you. Which they’d never do to another man, especially for fear of the closeness being read as sexual attraction and the getting their block knocked off.

Any other ladies have similar stories or any other tips?

Hi, everyone!

Please be gentle lol. I (29F) got out of a very toxic marriage in May 2025. My ex was emotionally cheating on me pretty severely - messaging girls on Instagram, texting other women, addicted to porn ... He lied to me A LOT and was constantly trying to manipulate me. I thankfully got out of this relationship after feeling unloved for years. We share a daughter together and coparent - or at least I try to.

In October 2025, I met my now current boyfriend. We have been together for almost a year and have had an amazing relationship. I've never had someone show me so much love and care, and he truly makes an effort in our relationship. He showers me with compliments, does all my yard work, cooks for me, cleans, fixes my car ... anything a man can help with, he'll do it. My last relationship definitely traumatized me but my boyfriend has always made me feel safe. Recently, though, I have been catching him in random white lies. He too was once married and just last month changed his story on when he last slept with his ex wife (before he met me but completely different month and story). I also found out through his email that he lied about when he got divorced, lied about a job he had when we got together (said it was one thing but was really something else), said he never paid for dating apps when he really did, claimed he never hit on girls at his gym but then later accidentally admitted he did, said his mom is a citizen when she isn't, said he's never done shady stuff when we were just talking and not dating but come to find out he was messaging and calling other girls ... there are other things as well, but I just feel genuinely confused. Like why lie about stuff that doesn't matter? I think in some ways he's trying to make himself look better than he is ... but it has me questioning a lot of things he's said. I love him very dearly but I do not want to go down the same path again of being with someone who constantly lies. Any advice?

TL;DR my boyfriend keeps lying about random nonsensical things and I don't know what to do. I think he's trying to make himself look better but he's actually just looking like a liar now. It's making me paranoid and I was previously in a relationship with a compulsive liar and manipulator. I don't know what to do.

I don’t know how else to explain it. Sometimes I will get a tingly, wiggly feeling in my right ovary. It doesn’t hurt at all, more like tickles me? I am currently experiencing a very heavy period, but I have felt it when I wasn’t on my period as well. I haven’t found anyone else that has felt this before!

I occasionally get hit on by my male coworkers. A few months ago, a coworker who had joined our team six months earlier started making a move on me. Well, we did exchange contact info because we both play video games. But later, when he told me he liked me and asked me out on a movie date, I turned him down and said we could only be friends.
Then he got temporarily transferred to another team, and we gradually stopped talking. I made it very clear that we could remain friends, but that I wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. But he came back a month later, claiming he couldn’t imagine his life without me. Like, WTF?

So, after he moved to another team, we got a replacement. And guess what? He hit on me too! But he’s a totally traditional guy. He told me he wanted to live with his parents and expected his future wife to be okay with that. I told him I wouldn’t accept that because I wanted to live separately. He expressed his interest in me again and even asked me to change my “principles.” The audacity. I said, hell no. And this dude turned passive-aggressive. He doesn’t even say hi or answer my questions anymore. We literally work together, for fuck’s sake.

I honestly don’t know what to make of it. I’m always friendly to everyone because, well, they’re my coworkers. There’s no way I’d flirt with them or give them any indication that I’m interested in them. Whenever I ask them what even made them interested in me, they say it’s because I’m nice.
There are plenty of women at work. People are generally nice and kind. Do they think that just because I’m nice and friendly, low maintenance, I’ll bend over backward for them and feel flattered by their attention?

Personally, I take rejection gracefully. If someone tells me no, that’s a no to me. It should be basic decency. There’s no need to act like a crybaby.

Content warnings: Cornell case is referenced without graphic details. General discussions of consent and structural inequality.

My mother is 72. 6 years ago, she had a benign polyp removed from her intestine and was told she needed to repeat her colonoscopy after 6 years instead of the standard 10.

She called her insurance to see if she could schedule one at 4 years because she was anxious (my dad died of cancer) and was told no , 6 years was fine.

A month before her 6 year anniversary, she had serious abdominal pain and went to the doctor. He diagnosed her with a UTI but she said that wasn’t it, there was something more. The doctor said “well, you know your body better than me” and ordered a scan.

Long story short, 5 days later they removed a tumor from her colon in the same region as the polyp had been. Unfortunately, it’s already stage III.

I’m really grateful for her current doctor who took her seriously. She has a long road ahead and while it could have been better if they’d allowed her to get a scan earlier, it could also be worse. It reaffirms my pessimism about the insurance industry, but it’s at least a good story about the medical professionals.

I made the difficult decision to cut ties with my mother and brother. After decades of being let down, disrespected, used, and abused, I decided enough was enough and removed all access to myself. Grief has plagued me ever since, knowing the family I deserve will never be the family I have. I've kept this decision close to my chest, and only my husband knows the turmoil it has caused me.

Today I had a lovely conversation with an older coworker about motherhood. She was explaining how unsure she has been feeling about it lately. She understands her children are all adults who are married with kids and lives of their own, and she mentioned knowing that at any point, her children could decide to go low contact or no contact, leaving that decision entirely out of her hands.

She shared how curious she always is about the way she shows up for her children. She wants to ensure the way they receive love is the way she shows it, and she's always willing to apologize for any wrongdoings and have the harder conversations so her children feel seen and respected.

As she was telling me this, I was just floored by what healthy motherhood actually looks like: someone willing to apologize for mistreatment, someone genuinely curious about their own children, and someone who doesn't assume respect or love just because blood is shared.

The conversation could not have come at a better time, and it solidified my decision even more.

tl/dr: Please help me choose some women-related charities. Could be anywhere in the world but I’m in the US.
Full description: I like to donate to charities for my (adult) sisters’ birthdays rather than buying them things that they would rather pick out themselves. I also get a company match for charitable donations and I work for a giant corporation that isn’t outwardly conservative… but the US corporate office is in a very conservative state. So, my sisters and I prefer twoXchromosome-charities that could really use a couple hundred bucks and also like to think of that HR person in a red state getting upset at giving company money to charities related to abortion access/domestic violence/free lawyers for immigrants/arts organizations/micro loans for women entrepreneurs/free goats or cows for a family/etc.
I’ve been doing this for years and feel tapped out of new ideas this year.
Who’s got some ideas for me?