About six months ago I started learning embroidery. Not because I wanted to sell anything or make gifts. I was spending way too much time staring at my phone after work and wanted something to do with my hands.

I'm not particularly good at it. My first attempt at a flower looked like a fried egg. But I love sitting on the couch with some music on and making completely unnecessary little things.

Anyway, I brought a tote bag I'd embroidered to a family lunch a few weeks ago.

My aunt loved it. Then she asked if I could embroider names onto some towels for her guest bathroom. My cousin wanted something personalized for her friend's baby shower. My mom suggested I could make Christmas presents for everyone this year instead of buying them.

Then someone said I should open an Etsy shop.

I had shown them ONE BAG.

The thing that bothered me wasn't even the requests themselves. People ask for favors, whatever. It was how quickly the conversation stopped being about something I enjoyed and became a discussion of what I could produce for other people.

My brother paints little figures for tabletop games. He's been doing it for years. Nobody has ever asked him how he plans to turn that into a side business or whether he could paint 30 of them as wedding favors.

They ask him what he's working on. They tell him his latest figure looks cool. That's it.

I mentioned this to my mom later and she said people only ask because they think I'm talented, which I do understand. I know nobody was trying to be mean.

But I also noticed I started feeling guilty every time I sat down to work on something for myself, because I'd told my aunt I'd see what I could do about those towels.

I actually put my embroidery stuff away for almost two weeks because the whole thing had started feeling like another obligation.

I finally told my aunt I wasn't going to make the towels. She was fine about it, thankfully.

Now I'm working on a very ugly embroidered frog for absolutely no reason.

I'm keeping him.

Has anyone else had a hobby slowly turn into something people expect you to do for them? Especially hobbies like sewing, baking, crochet, decorating, anything that produces something other people can use?

What's wrong with middle aged men staring at underaged girls? I went to the mall with my parents and sister today and she motivated me to wear a pretty dress, if you know me you would know that I usually wear more baggy clothes. So this was kind of fun and special to me. There were so many weird men between 40-60 in the mall and they all stared at me and my sister! I felt really uncomfortable and brought clothes that I changed into one of the stores. The thing is my dress wasn't even short! It almost went down to my ankles, the dress had some cleavage with lace bit that was it! I'm not sure if I will wear a dress in a public place with many people in it again. I'm only 16 by the way and you can see that, this only makes those men more disgusting.

I know that there are some biological differences, obviously. But I honestly hate the difference in how men and women view finding a partner. Women can be not initially attracted, and grow attraction to a man later. I’ll also see a woman grow to be attracted to/love a conventionally unattractive man. Then there’s the reverse, men rate physical attraction higher than women do so for them it’s more important. Obviously they still factor in personality but they mainly want the pretty + personality combination. Whenever I see women get asked if looks are important for choosing their man, women say no it’s not high on the list. Whenever I see men get asked, they say yes and explain that if a man isnt already attracted then he won’t ever grow attracted. “Falling for someone over time” is a woman thing.

Sucks. So. Much. If you’re a below average woman.

genuinely need some outside perspective on this because I'm so confused rn and I don't know if I'm overthinking everything or if my discomfort is justified.

So basically, I recently started talking to this guy online. We're both teenagers, and initially I was genuinely excited about him. He's attractive, confident, seems pretty well-off, works out, travels a lot, etc. We started flirting pretty quickly and ngl I liked the attention. I thought this could actually go somewhere and that we'd get to know each other properly.

Except that's kind of where the problem starts.

I realised that we barely know anything about each other. I literally asked him about his hobbies and he said he wasn't really into much. I asked him when his birthday was and he just refused to tell me. Fair enough, he's allowed to keep things private, but it made me realise that we've barely had a normal conversation despite talking and flirting so much.

His replies are also SO dry sometimes. It's literally "yeh", "ig", "probably", "ok", "??" and then he takes ages to reply. I understand people have lives and can't be available 24/7, but it feels like I'm constantly trying to get a conversation going while he doesn't seem particularly interested in actually getting to know me.

Now the bigger issue.

We were playing Truth or Dare on call, and he wanted me to turn my camera on. I initially said no because I'm insecure about my appearance, but he kept insisting until I eventually agreed. I'd actually told him about a previous situation where I'd gotten emotionally attached to someone and things eventually went downhill, so I was already pretty vulnerable about this stuff.

When he saw me, he said something along the lines of "you don't look that bad". I asked if that was supposed to be a compliment and he said yes. I don't know if he intended it to sound insulting, but it honestly hurt.

Later, he was changing into his football uniform and started talking about how the shorts looked weird around the crotch area. The conversation gradually turned sexual, and he asked if I wanted to see what he meant. I was hesitant and said I'd feel weird saying yes, but he kept flirting and asking until I eventually agreed. He then showed me his crotch on camera.

I know some people might be comfortable with this kind of flirting, but I wasn't used to it at all. I'd already told him I was new to this sort of thing.

The part that REALLY bothered me happened later, when he asked whether he could flash me. I said no. He kept insisting that it'd be quick, and I felt so uncomfortable that I eventually ended the call because I needed to go.

He then asked if we could continue playing Truth or Dare over text. I said we could talk later, but I was dealing with stuff at home too. I'd mentioned that my dad would be coming home and that there might be drama and arguments. Instead of actually acknowledging what I'd said, he replied briefly and then immediately asked if we could continue playing because he was aroused and wanted to finish.

I genuinely don't know how to explain how uncomfortable that made me feel. I was talking about things happening at home, and suddenly the conversation was back to his sexual urges.

Eventually, I gave in and agreed to continue. He sent another intimate image. Later, when he dared me to do the same thing he'd done, I said no again. He got irritated and kept asking why. I was genuinely scared and couldn't even explain myself properly.

Afterwards, he guilt-tripped me into writing a whole paragraph apologising for refusing his dare.

And that's the part I can't get past.

I understand that he's a teenager too. I understand that people have different comfort levels with flirting, and maybe he's more experienced with this stuff than I am. Apparently he's had a similar arrangement with another girl before, so perhaps this is normal for him.

But does that make it okay to keep pushing someone who's clearly uncomfortable? I had already told him I was new to this, and I had said no multiple times.

I'm not saying he's a terrible person based on everything I've described. I genuinely don't know him well enough to make that judgement. But I also don't know if I'm making excuses for him just because I like him.

And the confusing part is that I STILL want to talk to him.

I want to have normal conversations with him. I want to know random things about his life, his opinions, what he likes, what makes him laugh, literally ANYTHING that isn't sexual flirting or a conversation where I'm struggling to get more than a one-word reply out of him.

Instead, I'm scared to even message him now because I'm worried he'll leave me on seen, respond dryly, or turn the conversation sexual again.

I've considered blocking him, but we have a common online group, and I'm scared of making things awkward. Part of me keeps wondering if he's just moody or if I'm overreacting. Another part of me feels genuinely uncomfortable with how things have gone.

I don't want people to just tell me he's evil or that all men are like this. I want honest perspectives because I'm genuinely confused about what to do next.

TLDR: have been talking to a guy online, and he keeps turning our conversations sexual. There have been times when I said no or felt uncomfortable, but he kept insisting until I gave in. When I refused to do something he wanted, he got annoyed and made me feel guilty enough to apologise. I still like him, which makes this confusing, but I'm starting to question whether he respects my boundaries at all.

Maybe I’m romanticising romance - but I honestly feel like men have completely lost the plot on respectfully pursuing a romantic interest. Of course, I know there’s a lot of nuance to this.

Instead, creeps misinterpret our signals and keep pursuing us relentlessly despite clear hostile signs while non creepy men just give up so easily even when we still show some positive signals. It’s kinda sad to watch how easily they’ll let women they think are the love of their life slip away because of how passive they’ve become. Like, watching them lose the love of their life and just wallow and do nothing and not even fight for it.. am I making some sense here?

I’ve noticed this really weird assumption that if you’re a young, conventionally attractive woman travelling alone or sitting alone somewhere nice, people assume you must be a sex worker.

Once I was travelling to the States alone to meet my girlfriends for a birthday and got absolutely interrogated at the border about where I was going, who I was meeting, what I was doing, how I knew them, what I did for work. When I told my friends about it they were immediately like, “Girl, they were trying to make sure you weren’t going there for sex work.” WHAT?!

It reminded me of when I first moved to a new city really young and didn’t know anyone. My apartment was near this gorgeous hotel bar, so sometimes I’d go there for dinner because I was lonely and didn’t want to eat alone at home. I assumed it was the one place you could sit alone without looking like a loner because people dine alone while traveling all the time. Twice, men assumed I was a sex worker and tried to get me to come upstairs with them.

I once took a solo trip after a breakup to take some time for myself and same thing, there was an assumption that I was there for sex work because I was staying in a nice hotel. And I have many more examples of things like that.

I just find the assumption itself so bizarre. Apparently young, attractive, alone, and somewhere nice means there must be a sexual explanation for why you’re there?

Why is “she has her own money, travels alone and wanted dinner” so much harder to believe?

I used to love parade underwear but when they did that colab with coke I stopped shopping with them. I still had their stuff but it’s been years and I’ve lost some, broke some, just need new ones. I looked online and they’re gone 😂

Anything you gals like that’s similar to parade? “Sustainable, ethical” all the buzz words plus healthy (like all cotton) and NOT VICTORIA SECRET please.

I was made fun of by employees for having small boobs and I will never shop there again

Hi everyone. I have this intense longing for connection that doesn’t involve screens. Something tangible that I can physically touch. Something I know was not copied and pasted from generative AI. For a while now I’ve thought about what it would be like to have a pen pal via snail mail- how filled with anticipation I would be while awaiting the arrival of a response. & Just how excited I would be when I finally opened the mailbox to find a hand written letter addressed to me.

If anyone is interested please, comment below… Let’s chat like it’s 1840 !

I know maybe its a little bit messy and maybe I'm generalizing too much because I'm upset but...

Whether its my father, my friends, my lovers... They don't speak. And I'm frustrated.

Growing up, my father said nothing. When there was problems. he said nothing. Granted my mother wasn't much better but it hurts.

I had a friend who didn't speak up about his problems. He just lashes out and got angry. He made a joke and I calmly told him I didn't like his jokes at me.

I know maybe they just didn't like me, maybe but I have so many friends that, if I didn't reach out, they stopped talking to me. But this is often confusing as it clashes with men saying things like how lonely they are. I am aware not all men are the same but..

I had an ex that broke up with me out of the blue because we weren't moving fast enough. But he never asked me. He never even asked to kiss me. I was pissed because it sounded like he expected me to make the first move. I would've if he asked. but I was happy being where I was either way. I don't care who makes the first move, but I guess he wanted it more. So why didnt he even speak?

I had other friends I cared deeply about that just ghosted. One I reached out to about why they were silent. No response. Another who told me he was just tired. Nothing else. Can't even speak.

I know I'm venting but... So many single women are with kids and they aren't tired. I mean they are but. None of my friends were too tired to tell me. My female friend was tired but she told me, I will be taking a long vacation away from social media.

I know technically they don't owe me anything but I feel we owe our fellow humans something

In all of my males friends scenarios I've been there. I guess I still stupidly care for them all. It makes me very emotional because i lost a friend three years ago. he was an online friend battling with depression. I don't know what happened. But it was sudden silence. So honestly I guess I just don't take well to men not speaking.

I wasn't really sure if I was supposed to post this here or in the family sub, but I'm a woman and I was wondering if other women can relate because the "parentified older sister" is a pretty common thing, and I also couldn't find a sub specifically for older siblings in general, so...

I (20F) for as long as I can remember have always wanted to be alone. The earliest I can remember thinking this way was in 5th grade. My ideal future was basically being financially independent and completely single and childless for the rest of my life.

There have been times where I considered that maybe I was being too cynical, introverted, selfish, or pessimistic when it came to this "ideal future" of mine, so I gave romance and the *idea* of motherhood a chance.

I'm not sure if it's the state of the world right now, just the way I'm wired, or my own family, but lately I've realized that I just absolutely do not want a partner or children. Even having a pet sounds exhausting...

My younger siblings (ages 14, 10, and 7) are so annoying. Of course, in the regular sibling way, but also in a way where it feels like they see me as another "mom". I understand I'm an adult and their older sister, but I notice they tend to come to me before going to my mom or their dad (the dad thing irritates me the most). I'm not saying my mother pushes all the duty onto me, because she doesn't, it's moreso I feel like I'm taking care of them more than her boyfriend (their dad, not my dad, I don't call him stepdad because I don't like him). And everything surrounding that has just turned me away from wanting children.

As for relationships, I've only dated twice. I'm not gonna sit here and say seeing the relationships (like my mom and her bf) around me is what caused my lack of desire for one or that my exes were horrible because that's not the case. I've felt like this forever, even during those two relationships. I'm not interested in romance and the thought of wasting someone's time right now to figure myself out sounds really shitty, so I'm not inclined to give it a chance again for that reason.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a vent or asking for advice, but I was mostly hoping to know if any other ladies here have a similiar experience to mine? How is it going for you?

TLDR; Did taking care of your siblings in any capacity turn you away from having children? Did your parent(s) or friend(s) relationships have an effect on your desire for one? Am I just overreacting or is it natural to feel this way?

I'm 18 now, however when I was 10 I was being groomed online into sending innapropriate pictures of myself to someone over 4 times my age, I also had a fake facebook account -not under my name- that I would post weirder pictures -in my defense my mental health was terrible and I had a terrible relationship with my father that led me to seek validation from older men I believe, but this isnt the point of my post-

I remember in grade 7 or 8, we had some people come over to our school to give a presentation about social media, and I remember it like it was yesterday. There were adults saying "once you post something its forever, universities/colleges will see everything you post and if its bad your life is ruined and they wont let you in, no one will hire you" and I understand the points they were making, but oh my god genuinely I was so filled with anxiety and depression. Idk really the point of my post, i just kind of want it off my chest. Thx for reading

I don’t know if this is medical or not, but I’m just curious.

I am a young woman who never changes her pad as much as I ‘should’. I agree that I should probably change them more often, but that is a hassle because I have to position them a certain was as not to bleed all over my pants due to heavy-ish bleeding. I usually change them once or twice a day if I can get away with it, and I use the strongest absorbency I can get.

But this isn’t me asking how often should I do it- how often do you fellow girlies who chose pads change your pads? AND I apologize if I am gross for my schedule, that’s just how I do it 😓

Edit: Sorry if this is something I shouldn’t be asking, I have no idea. I’m new here. Hi :,)

I’m 22, and before my current boyfriend I had three serious relationships. Throughout those relationships, sex mostly felt like a chore. I was curious about it, but actually doing it often felt uncomfortable emotionally, like it was disgusting or demeaning. My mind would wander to completely unrelated things, and I struggled to stay present. I even saw doctors because I thought something was wrong with me.

With my current boyfriend, who I started seeing in February , the difference has been huge. I actively want sex, feel present during it, and feel comfortable expressing myself in ways I never expected. Things like dirty jokes and oral sex, which used to make me uncomfortable, are now things I genuinely enjoy.

One conversation that really resonated with me was him describing sexual desire as natural and primal. Somehow that helped loosen the guilt I’d always attached to it.

We also have a close friendship, we talk for hours, laugh together, and enjoy each other’s hobbies. I’ve even started imagining marriage and children with him, when previously I was very firmly against having kids or changing my surname.

I’m trying to understand the shift without assuming it automatically means we’re meant to be. For anyone who’s experienced something similar, how did you make sense of it? Did it seem connected to chemistry, getting older, becoming more comfortable with yourself, letting go of shame, or a combination?

i know women with partners look down on single women. ppl bullshit but as soon as you get in an argument, or as soon as a single person pisses them off it’s straight to “that’s why no one loves you” and “i don’t hang out with single women they hate seeing healthy relationships no one wants to be with them they’re embarrassing”. all everyone does is lie to me about it and i can’t do it. it is humiliating having to tell people that ask how im doing and if im seeibg anyone and when i say no, everyone says well do you want to? and i have to as a grown woman explain they yes i do want to but no one feels that way about me. i’ve tried working. i’ve tried doing things i enjoy. i’ve tried going to school. i’ve tried dating apps. it is me that is the issue

when i was younger everyone told me it was okay. and that i was still young, and i had time. everyone stuck with that all throughout high school. i remembered being little and my older cousins who were teenagers would get boyfriends and girlfriends and i always loved it and i loved meeting new people and my little cousins cant say that about me and it’s humiliating. every single person that i care about at this point in my life is either having sex, or has had sex, or are in relationships. my family. my friends. my mutusls on the internet:m. people i go to school with. i am constantly reminded of how everyone else is approached and admired and never me. not even once in 20 years abd everyone expects me to act like that’s okay. i am the same mentally as i was at 13 and i am so deeply humiliated my face is sinking in im so fucking embarrassed and i just want to wear a mask i hate when people look at me every single time im interested in someone it is absolutely exhausting because i know that they will never feel the same. so i just sit with it knowing that they will find someone better than me and go wuth them instead. all i do is drink and drag myself to school. people fuck and stuff at my school, just no one wants to touch me. like i have a disease

One thing that really gets me is that we are the ones expected to fix incels, to show them love and compassion, to forgive them and be patient with them ("they will only open up if you are kind to them!"). When did the average man online sympathize with feminists during gamergate? When did the women online who share stories about being assaulted receive sympathy?

I believe that loving through hate will remedy most problems but the fact of the matter is that it is pretty much a losing game for women. Most men will not even consume female-centered media and yet expect women to bend over backwards and be 'open minded'. In the eyes of many men, unconscious or not, men are 'people' while women are 'women'. It's not an even playing field.

Well, I will be honest, I really do not care if incels live or die. I do not care if the people who go online calling dark-skinned people 'shitskins' and talk about how women deserve to be violently beaten and raped 'struggle' with their mental health. In fact, I am perfectly fine with letting these people die off all alone and angry, I even get a bit of schadenfreude thinking about how much better my life is than the people saying shit like 'pajeet' and 'total foid death' online are.

Why is your stomach a never ending pit the week before your period ? I could eat an entire cow and still feel hungry it’s annoying 😅

For context I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We did it in a month after we started dating. I always felt like I wasn't ready yet and that I should not do it until I am super comfortable but after we did it that one time it felt like he expects it now and denying it every time felt wrong so I did it anyways. and I think it made things worse because everytime we did it and I did not feel anything it kept setting the tone for me of how it is going to be like. It has been 2 years and I must have enjoyed it only a maximum of 4-5 times and we do it quite often. I still try to relax and try to communicate what works for me but it's just not working.

Another thing is, I was in a 5 year long relationship before him and had a very strong sex drive back then. There was particularly this one time In the fifth year when I did it once when I wasn't turned on and for some reason I felt terrible about it. That was the time when I lost interest. After that my ex kept wanting to but I just couldn't so I casually told him that he could do it with anybody he wants to and not bother me(Ik, stupid) and he actually hooked up with someone. I wasn't surprised because I knew him but it was the final stupid thing that I had to bear and we finally split.

I miss being able to enjoy the intimacy. I have been thinking that it would get better and I will be comfortable someday but it has been quite a minute and things aren't going anywhere and I am scared that this could be how it is right now for a very long time and I don't want to end up in a relationship where we just stop having sex eventually.

PS: He is the perfect guy and we both intend to stick around.

I watch a lot of male-run YouTube channels, as I’m sure almost every girl on YouTube does. You don’t only watch creators of your own gender/sex. But I’ve noticed that even on these harmless videos of guys doing non-problematic things, the second a woman shows up, men in the comments immediately make horrible jokes. I was watching a video of a guy making cool engineering stuff, and his wife showed up, and was nice to him. Somehow, the simple act of being kind to her husband made the comments say crazy things. One person commented about how they thought it was cute and wholesome, and some of the replies genuinely made me feel sick. Specifically, one guy who replied with “She wants to get pregnant” and got a scary amount of likes. I don’t understand how a woman being nice to the man she loves makes other men believe they can sexualize her. It’s so scary. Every time I see things like this, it reminds me that half the world population might not even see me or other women as people. It’s terrifying. How do others cope with knowing these people exist?

Okay so I have been getting these brown/pink clumps coming out of my vagina for like a WEEK not super small not super big. When I search it up I find identical pictures but then it’s in like pregnancy advice groups and I am not pregnant and have not had sx for like 5 months. I am on birth control and have earlier experienced once a endometrial cast but then it was SUPER painful and all came out in like 2 hours. I don’t have any pain and everything feels like normal but is this normal..? Does anyone know what this could be

hi i hope this is okay to post here (if not, sorry @ mods ;/

but im looking for any fellow gen z mommas, aunties, sis, u know … the whole village pls🥺🫶

i am on a mission to find more of us lol

Not looking for medical advice. More so, how common this is when you’ve previously never dealt with this.

Ok c’est vraiment ultra gênant à raconter mdr mais j’ai 22 ans et je sais vraiment pas comment gérer ça.
J’ai couché avec un mec à une soirée récemment. C’était juste un truc de soirée, on avait bu, rien de sérieux et franchement après j’y pensais pas spécialement.
Sauf que j’ai appris qu’après, quand il était bourré avec ses potes, il a raconté à plusieurs mecs que c’était horrible de coucher avec moi parce que, je cite (désolée 😭), je « pue de la ch*tte ».
Évidemment il me l’a jamais dit à moi. Je l’ai appris par quelqu’un d’autre.
Et maintenant je suis MAIS tellement gênée parce qu’on a pas mal de gens en commun et apparemment plusieurs mecs sont au courant. Donc dès que j’en croise un je me dis juste « super, lui aussi il doit penser que j’ai une ch*tte qui pue » 💀
Et le pire c’est que j’ai toujours été un peu complexée par mon odeur à cet endroit-là parce que je sais que c’est assez … compliqué on va dire. (Avant que certains demandent oui j’ai fais tous les tests, j’ai eu plusieurs gyneco et je sais à quoi c’est du mais on ne peut rien faire contre, ni avec l’alimentation ni avec autre chose).
Je sais vraiment pas comment gérer le côté social maintenant.
Est-ce que je fais juste comme si j’avais jamais entendu parler de rien ? Est-ce que je vais lui parler ? Et si jamais quelqu’un m’en parle, est-ce que je nie ? Parce que j’ai aussi l’impression que si je commence à me défendre en mode « mais pas du tout je pue pas », c’est encore pire 😭 genre ça montre que la rumeur m’est revenue aux oreilles et ça risque juste de faire encore plus parler.
Et surtout question pour les mecs : si un de vos potes vous racontait ça sur une fille que vous connaissez un peu, est-ce que vous vous en souviendriez vraiment ? Est-ce que ça changerait votre façon de la voir / votre envie de coucher avec elle ? Ou en réalité tout le monde s’en fout probablement beaucoup plus que ce que j’imagine ?
Parce que là j’avoue que chaque fois que je croise un de ses potes j’ai juste envie de disparaître 😭