Update: I don’t know if I jumped the gun, but it’s still very early in the day and my boyfriend surprised me with breakfast in bed and a cupcake with a little candle, and my favorite sour candies for later. Now I’m feeling like I just messed up my own day by getting in my head and self sabotaging. I essentially ruined a surprise. Feeling like a clown now. 🤡

It’s my birthday today. It’s a random Wednesday. My boyfriend didn’t make any plans. The trucking industry seems to be hanging by a thread so for the longest time he’s been working nights, but inconsistently. He got me some flowers yesterday (left them in a vase uncut with water - why do men think we want to do the work of arranging flowers?), but only after I prompted him to do something for my birthday. He also told me “sorry the flowers weren’t that great” (I’m assuming he went to the 7/11 next door and got it from there, not that I necessarily mind). Why do men say stuff like this? It kind of soured the gesture for me. Am I nuts?

I asked him why he didn’t have anything planned for the day. He said he was going to get me balloons but “the place didn’t have them” (verbatim quote) and he was running late for work. This was his first day going back to work since last Friday… but no planning on his end clearly. He said he’ll take me out to lunch at the end of the week before I hop on a flight for a work trip. So maybe I should be appreciative of that.

At the same time, I feel like he had so much time to figure out how to do something special for me. I’m not asking for diamonds here. But just an intentional gesture to show he cares and is unprompted. And again, I’m disappointed. For reference, for his birthday, I took him to Disneyland and bought him this massively overpriced F1 Lego car.

Just want today to be over.

On a lighter note, dinner is Asian garlic noodles from Cheesecake Factory. I went last night with a friend I just made a few months ago, who was so kind that she even wanted to pay for my meal as a birthday treat. Crazy that I can’t get this energy from a man who supposedly loves me lol.

Old picture of pizza from last week… unfortunately I’ve been too sick and shaken up to eat anything.

I was scrolling the news when I saw that the temple I go to was almost the place of a mass shooting. The temple that my family, friends, neighbors and community go to. I feel so fucking scared and horrified. The only reason that evil man was stopped was because his gun jammed and he texted a coworker about it. HE WAS AT THE TEMPLE WITH A LOADED GUN!!!! An assault rifle too. It was also one of the busiest days at the temple since it was the first day of a festival and a Sunday. It could’ve been awful.

I don’t even know what else to say. I feel so hopeless right now. I’m grateful that he was stopped but it’s horrifying that he got so close.

Snack plate for dinner.

Guy I’ve been talking to for a week sent me an unsolicited dick pic from the toilet. Great dick, drawers dropped, toilet in frame, tile floor of the bathroom.

I wish I was joking. I almost threw up on the spot.
Paired with everything in the news the last few weeks, then the Shame Gillis shit… I’m over it

I’m content to be single for the forseeable future, and work on my creative pursuits and businesses because what the actual fuck is going on right mow 😂

I can’t deal with the sheer audacity anymore. Anybody else? How are you coping?

I’m buying pumpkins to absolutely fucking smash tomorrow—let me know your other ideas. Hinged or unhinged ideas welcome.

EDIT: if you’re a man PMing me to apologize for this man, don’t. Just do better.

Picture this: You're having a wonderful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you're about to get Wingstop, which you've been craving for DAYS. Life is good. Life is beautiful. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

You pull up to Wingstop, where you're forced to physically enter the establishment because apparently Louisiana hasn't discovered the drive-thru yet. Whatever. A small price to pay for some wings and corn(4th wall break, their corn is so fucking fire y'all)

You retrieve your precious cargo, return to the car, and prepare to enjoy the fruits of your labor when suddenly-

PAIN.

A sharp, searing pain. The kind of pain that makes you question whether you've been shot. And it DOESN'T STOP.

You look down, and emerging from the armpit hole of your dress, like Satan himself crawling out of the depths of hell, is the BIGGEST FUCKING WASP YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

Naturally, you begin screaming. Your husband begins screaming. Nobody is driving the bus. It's absolute pandemonium.

Your husband, displaying the quick thinking and tactical expertise of a man trained to handle explosives, grabs your phone and begins BEATING THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF YOU WITH IT. Technically, he's aiming for the wasp, but at this point, that distinction feels purely academic. Eventually, the winged war criminal is neutralized. You're traumatized. Your husband is traumatized. Your phone has now been used as a blunt-force weapon.

But you know what? You still have Wingstop. And by God, you're going to enjoy it.

Fast-forward a few hours. You're getting ready for bed, taking off your dress, when your husband catches a glimpse of your chest.

Now, under normal circumstances, one might expect a compliment. Perhaps some admiration. Maybe even a standing ovation. Instead, you're greeted with:

"OH MY GOD, BABY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT THE FUCK"

Romance is alive and well in this household

Already contemplating whether a jury would convict me, I slowly turn around, only for this man to pull out his phone and start taking pics of my boob like he's a Nat Geo photographer witnessing a rare and deeply concerning phenomenon. Which to be fair, he was.

And that's when I discover that one of my boobs has apparently decided to pursue a solo career in the adult entertainment industry. It is HUGE.

You'd think this would be cause for celebration. A free boob job? In THIS economy?

Unfortunately, no. It's swollen to an ungodly size, covered in hives, and looks like it's been cursed by some voodoo priestess.

So naturally, off to the ER we go, because at this point I should really have a punch card. Ten visits and your eleventh medical catastrophe is free. And what do we discover?

Despite having been stung by wasps approximately 47,000 times throughout my life, my immune system has apparently decided that THIS is the one we're going to make a big fucking deal about.

Congratulations! You're allergic now:)

Oh, and as a little bonus prize, you've also developed cellulitis, because apparently being violently assaulted by one of Satan's airborne employees wasn't enough. No, the wound has now decided to open a franchise and invite bacteria to the party.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.

At least I got my Wingstop though. I knowwww, there's going to be someone in here talking about "you're doing too much for boneless wings," but I didn't survive an assassination attempt by a flying war criminal, a domestic battery involving a Samsung, and an emergency room visit just to have my choice of chicken questioned by strangers on the internet. I've suffered enough. Leave me and my flavored chicken nuggets ALONE.

So for context me and my bf have been dating for a year. Normally I am super self conscious about receiving anything oral and always deny it. But my bf will insist and do it anyway. A few times he’s brought up about how I taste bad like piss.

Now I am someone who loves hygiene and body care, it’s like therapy for me. When he says this I try to take it into consideration and be extra clean but I just can’t see where he’s coming from. I have a wash for down there, i mostly eat clean whole foods, and i take pre/probiotics.

This time it hurt my feelings because before we did it I took an everything shower and felt so clean and pretty now all of a sudden he’s saying I tasted like pee. He doesn’t say it in a mean way. I made a joke about him not eating me like that when he was eating icecream and he went “I mean…the last two times it tasted like piss. I don’t know if you’re cleaning it. Clean it babe.” But i do? I’m not sure what to do i’m petrified of getting head now, I never want do it again. He’s apologizing profusely and saying he’ll never say it again but jeez now i’m scared.

He’s also done this by saying my breath stinks and my tongue is too white. I’ve never gotten butt hurt over this but I just don’t understand because I brush my teeth, floss, and have a tongue scrapper. Yes, my breath smells after eating fragrant foods or waking up in the morning or when i’m dehydrated. But his breath smells terrible too i’ve just never went up to him and said it.

I guess I just want advice is this normal? Should I be more receptive? I already have an intensive body care plan, what else can I do? He doesn’t even do half of what I do. He literally had 1 native body wash he used with his hands until I met him and changed his regimen so why is he so judgmental?

Dinner: Poke burrito with ramune soda!

**EDIT: So I use her fantasy box sensitive probiotic+ I use a wash because I work out a lot and I feel like it leaves so much sweat to use water. Should I try ditching the wash for a while and see?

edit: There is someone impersonating me on here, trying to make my post look fake. My account is 6 months old, not 7 years old. I am actually 17, like I said. i genuinely wasn’t expecting so many people to see this. I was admittedly in a pretty bad place mentally when I wrote all of this earlier. I’ve gotten so many responses saying this is fake or it’s written by AI, and I promise it is not. I was just needing somewhere to write about my feelings for a bit, and it was very startling to see so many accusations that this is all fake and too cliche to be real. People are allowed to say whatever they want on public platforms, but I’ve struggled with derealization issues before, and having dozens of people tell me my account and post is fake is really anxiety inducing. I’m very much a real teenage girl who was just looking for some help from some other women. (Once again I know I posted on a public platform and was not expecting only positive replies, (I’ve gotten so many constructive criticisms that have been really helpful to hear!) but still I’ve never had this many negative responses on Reddit before.)

Lunch today is salad and a Starbucks iced tea.

I have 2 moms, who conceived me and my sister using sperm donors and IVF. I’ve never really cared, I love my moms and always got upset when people told me my family was dysfunctional because “kids NEED a dad”. But in the last year, my desire for a father has gotten overwhelming strong. My friends all have “traditional” families, one mom one dad. And I’m so jealous that they have dads. I’ve always liked male validation, but now it’s something I crave so strongly, that I’m scared for my future.

Im still in highschool, and have never dated or even kissed anyone. But every boy I’ve ever been friends with I’ve developed crushes on, and end up willing to do anything to please them. All through middle school I had a boy I was friends with, who was really an asshole to me (called me a slut multiple times, body shamed me, just general bullying) but I was completely obsessed with him. Every day I went home crying but every time I was with him I was back to just submitting to whatever he wanted. I have this fear that I’m going to end up in an abusive relationship when I’m older because any sort of praise from a man will bring me back.

My biggest dream in life is to get married and have kids. I know that’s a really controversial dream for a girl, and that I should have bigger dreams but I adore kids and really want my own. It’s truly what I want. I just have this terrible feeling that my lack of father, therefore lack of men in my life, will lead me to be so desperate for male attention and love that I’ll ruin my life.

I just really want a man to love me.

Edit: I do realize this sounds really dramatic and not serious at all, but it’s very much a real thing I’ve been struggling with. Again, I’m a teenager so I don’t have experience with relationships of any kind really. And as for therapy, I have very bad generalized anxiety disorder ( I got diagnosed by a therapist, not self diagnosing myself here) and have been working on getting into therapy for it for months, but I need a referral to see a psychiatrist first. But yes, I’m very aware my brain is pretty messed up and I should get into therapy asap

ALSO!! I know wanting to get married isn’t controversial and it’s very common to want. I meant not having a career, and instead devoting myself to my future husband and kids is what’s controversial. My whole life I’ve been told to dream bigger and not water myself down to just being a wife and mom, but I don’t have any desire to do anything else

I transferred from a pretty decent state law school to a top law school last year and I’ve made really good friends! There’s no issue, I’m just feeling a bit unmoored because big law is such a priority here. I have a good 2L offer from a firm in my hometown, but I feel like I’m wasting my time transferring if I’m just going to work at the same place I would’ve had I not transferred.

Iced latte and an uncrustable

Food: some yummy cookies😋

That's it. That's the whole thing, I just had to tell someone because my friends already don't like my boyfriend so I couldn't tell them💔
IT'S JUST REALLY GROSS like I love him but sometimes we'll be on facetime and he'll just go digging for gold and it eat in front of me. Like... at least don't lmk you do it?? Wtf???😭
Edit: to everyone saying "you kiss him?" We're long distance and 3,000miles away, and I've only seen him irl once
Edit #2: guys I'm a teenager I'm not in elementary school🙏

Brunch from the other day courtesy of a gift card from work for a lunch and learn presentation.

I (35F) have been with my husband (36M) for 12 years, married for 4. And y’all, I’m just drained. 

I work full-time from home and also do 85% of the household labor and just about 100% of life management for us. It’s hard to make friends in this season of life, but even when I do, my husband manages to find something to critique about them. I don’t think I’ve had a friend that he thinks is a “good person” by his standards. It’s a similar mindset with my immediate family. I cannot talk to them or about them in his vicinity without him bringing up their flaws. To him, every “flaw” in another person is something terrible and should be changed. I whole heartedly disagree, some flaws are more like quirks, and someone doesn’t have to be perfect and flawless to be worth having in your life. We have quite a few worldviews along these same lines that we are polar opposites on, and it’s fucking exhausting and it’s catching up to me.

I have some hobbies just for myself - music, concerts, writing, reading. But when I try to share those interests with him, I get shut down. He doesn’t have the same music taste as me - that’s fine, but he doesn’t leave it there. He puts my favorite genres and bands down as objectively bad. He doesn’t know why I “waste my time” watching trashy TV shows, or reading romance books. I should be reading the classics instead. Or non-fiction self help books.  

I used to love holidays - decorating, seasonal music, cooking and baking and spending loads of time with family and friends. He didn’t grow up with these same holidays in his culture, so he doesn’t see the big deal in them. Same for birthdays, which is disappointing for me since he treats them as any other day of the year. My team at work puts more effort into celebrating my birthday than my own husband does.

No gifts, no cards, no signs of appreciation. Not even fucking flowers, which I tell him constantly that I’d love to get and cost next to nothing. He thinks they’re wasteful since they wilt like a week later anyway. One year he said he remembered I would have wanted flowers, but still didn’t get them, like his memory alone was something I should be impressed by. I cried and he apologized half-heartedly (“Flowers shouldn’t be a big deal to you but I’m sorry you’re upset”) and I still accepted this treatment for YEARS after. I think I deserved a lifetime supply of clown makeup for that one.

And it’s not just on special occasions either. Little things here and there that show he thinks of me, considers me, appreciates me just don’t happen. I would plan and pay for trips when he was burnt out from school and needed a vacation. I would make dinner reservations to celebrate his new job or graduation. I cater to his every need and it used to be because I loved him and wanted to make his life easier. I have no clue how I felt that way for so long when none of it was reciprocated.  

About a year ago, we were watching some show where a couple wakes up together and the husband kisses his wife awake and gets up to go make their coffee. I nearly burst into tears at that nothing scene because I realized that not once in our relationship has he ever just… gotten up to get me anything of his own accord. And I accepted that! For YEARS! 

I’ve always been hyper-independent and self-reliant and a self described “low maintenance girlfriend” - yuck. I think I excused his unreliability and lack of initiative to do anything to make our shared life easier as me just taking on the leader of the home role, being Miss Independent, being a control freak. Yet I was also “going with the flow” and acting like the things he did or didn’t do never bothered me. 

I’m now recognizing a lot of things he did early on in our relationship as emotionally abusive - threatening to break up over minor things blown way out of proportion, isolating me from friends and family, criticizing me over minuscule things that just wore me down over time until I was small and blank enough that he could draw his ideal version of me on the surface. 

Earlier this year something in me broke. After another bout of unemployment where he applied and interviewed and played video games and didn’t take on any household work despite not having a job for a few months, I hit a record-high level of burn out. Emotionally (I couldn’t take another ones of his rants about how this country is doomed because of capitalism), mentally (things were falling through the cracks because I was managing two adult lives plus immigration complexities and side business related duties), and physically (working out 4 days a week and eating and sleeping well but still exhausted to my bones, becoming repulsed by any attempt at intimacy). 

I told him I couldn’t do this anymore, that I needed to leave and be alone. Everything I had pent up for years all came flooding out, that I needed a partner who saw me struggling and helped with the house and our responsibilities, that I needed someone who didn’t spend his time with me ranting about how fucked our country is and how companies all suck and how life is meaningless. My mistake was not leaving the house at that time. I thought if I could stay while he processed the initial shock and upset, that we could be amicable about things. But he refused to accept anything and ultimately guilted me into giving him a chance to improve. 

The problem is, by the time I mustered up the courage to tell him I wanted out, every connection to him had already been severed in my mind. This wasn’t the first time I had seriously contemplated leaving, and I actually put in a huge personal effort to try to turn my mindset about our relationship around once before. But I don’t have it in me to try again.

And he has started being slightly more involved in the household management, making some meals for us and starting to plan trips he wants to take, while still offloading some of the work onto me, like looking up hotels and tickets. And it makes me even more mad because he could have done this the whole time, even this tiny amount of effort, and he just didn’t. This isn’t some revolutionary epiphany I’m having, I know. But damn it hurts to have confirmation that he knew all along the things I carried alone and he didn’t care enough to help.

I do not love him anymore. I care about him, as a friend, but there is no romantic connection left. I do not feel emotionally safe with him. I do not feel appreciated for who I really am, because with him I am not the person I know I am. 

I am not a perfect person (cue the opening of The Reason by Hoobastank), and I recognize my failure to communicate and raise my displeasure and disappointment led to a lot of why our relationship broke down over time. I let him get away with so much, I didn’t want to risk a fight or risk him leaving. I’m still working these things out in therapy and through my own self-reflection on why I was so hell-bent on not “failing” that I allowed myself to become this shell of who I used to be just to hold onto a long term relationship that was sucking the life out of me. 

I am funny and witty, I am intelligent and empathetic, I am thoughtful and loyal. I am beautiful when I’m not constantly wearing my anxieties on my face. I am strong and healthy. I am learning from my mistakes and finally standing up for what I want my life to be.

I want to decorate for Christmas again. I want to host a book club at my house, and drink wine and laugh loudly and be a bit sloppy with my friends without getting chastised like a child. I want to visit my family without every muscle clenching when my mom asks him how work is going because she was magically supposed to know that’s a sore subject and now he’s pissed and moody all night long. I want to go on a fucking cruise. 

I want color and whimsy and peace in my life. 

I want to share my life with someone who deserves me and accepts all of me. 

Sorry for the full on diary entry, it was extremely cathartic to write this out, even if it’s only a fraction of what I’m truly trying to process after 12 years. I hope that maybe someone has words of wisdom from a similar experience, or can lend some words of encouragement for the next few days when I bring up leaving again, or that someone just doesn’t feel so alone after reading this.

This isn’t all I had for dinner dw- but I love me some pickled asparagus.

Sat down with my pickled asparagus and my boyfriend was teasing me about it and said he “married a monster” while in our friend discord - we aren’t married. But, we’ve been talking about it a lot lately and I could feel myself blushing like a schoolgirl! He then said “well, I guess I’m about to marry a monster” and I know that sounds mean but he was teasing me and I’m just so excited for him to propose <3 that’s all, thanks girlies

So I'm a doctor and well I'm on Tinder...I knowww but goddamn it doesn't matter what a girl do... she need lovin' too...

Anyway imagine this scenario, if you will... a patient comes to see you for recurrent dick lesions...yes I have had to examine him, more than once.

Patient has HSV2 but when asked tells me he DOESNT disclose this to the women he sleeps with.

Oh and if you think they get "better with age" he's >60yo...

LIKES ME on Tinder 😭😭😭🤢🤢🤢🤯🤯🤯

Whyyyyy though, just whyyyy...

Busy making fried rice with left over chicken.

while we were texting he dropped the ball that he had a crush on his friend, i had already noticed he was getting a bit distant and in his most recent instagram post he cropped me out of the image to have his friend who was in the background in the photo and left my shoulder and my hair in the image.

i confronted him about it and he made an excuse about how instagram “just does that” while also saying that his crush did have a factor. things have been awkward and we already had another argument, i just want some advice or something cause i feel like i can’t go to anyone of my friends about this cause it feels so embarrassing

Content warning: TFMR

Husband convinced me to keep a pregnancy I was worried about keeping because we already have two kids and a third c-section scared me. Had an ultrasound today in my second trimester after a 91/100 percent likelihood result on a blood test predicting Trisomy 18 and found a long list of concerning life-threatening indicators, the most obvious of which was our baby having a face, and limbs, but not the rest of their head. We are being forced to end a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons and are devastated; but baby has a 0% chance of survival.

IHOP stuffed French toast and strawberries, one of my biggest pregnancy cravings. Surgery is Friday.

Overpriced ice cream I ate earlier
Edit: ‘Ben and Jerry’s cookie Vermont’ for people asking

Im dreading school tmrw and it sucks sooo much. I really hope adulthood is actually better for me like people say it will be. My teen years have been HELL. I developed acne, medical issues and depression (got my braces on/off though?). Nothing like high school musical, 0/10 wouldn’t recommend. 16 is not like the movies and 8 year old me would be ashamed👎

EDIT: just fwi I am English so I’m not in the USA school system it’s a little different here. Secondary school was ruthless, but im in college rn; it’s like a second highschool between uni and stuff, its supposed to be more relaxed but i hate it so far😬 i feel no difference

Peanut butter toast, sweet plain lassi, 1mg estrogen gel

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: DEATH, SUICIDE, TRANSPHOBIA

Prequel: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/MFblgLMgVa

My breakfast, eaten alone with my anger, at dawn.

They had the cerimony. They buried her with the wrong name, the wrong dresses, the wrong face.

She was a transgender woman. They didn't accept her, and wasn't out with all of them, their religious family, because of fear. But she is beyond fear now. She didn't need to hide anymore. They forced her to. Again.

We went in droves. The straights, the respectables, the Catholics, where an handful. We drove from far away for her, we came in trains and cars, we put together resources and we outnumbered them, by much. We brought her true story, her true name, wrote on flowery crowns and slips of paper. We honored her memory.

And the family, the pitiful, devout, family, they tricked us. They told us we were welcome, they hoped to see us, because you couldn't do otherwise. But when our friend body left the church for the crematory, they gave us the wrong address, they sent us on a wild goose chase in a city many of us didn't really know.

Because we were embarrassing. Because in their temple and in public we were forced by social norms to be quiet, to not rise our voices. But in the crematory we would have been able to speak, to be seen, to be counted. The name we carried with us would have been read, and that would have been... Embarrassing.

So they tricked us, and we couldn't go.

We held our cerimony, we deposed our wreaths and slips of papers in a park, far from her.

They denied us our last goodbye, out of spite, out of cruelty, out of valuing their social standing more than their daughter life and death.

We will not stand for this. We will go back. We will change the name, with hammer and chisel if we have to. We will have our and our sister's dignity back.

Hi everyone,
I married this person two years back. There has been a lot of chaos and lately I’m beginning to wonder if this is how I want to continue for the rest of my life. To begin with, I’m put down with responsibilities from a tender age of 18, I’ve been trying to work and support my family in every case so that might’ve made me harder outside but I’m very sensitive inside and feel everything a bit much. I tend to get irritated quickly and start yelling when I get triggered. My husband on another hand is no saint either, these are his qualities

1. He uses bad words against me like gold digger, useless, “someone like me” and what not.
2. He never acknowledges my hard work, he thinks it’s my duty to work as he also works hard.
3. I love shopping and buying dresses, but he never ever bought me a dress or at least taken me to a shop to buy something. And complaints that I’ve way too many for him to buy a new one for me. ( not even for my birthday)
4. He refrains himself from saying “I love you” because I will take him for granted. He also mentioned once how he’ll never say I love you because I will shout at him when I get angry or triggered.
5. Asked him politely not to use triggering words, but thinks it’s my duty to control myself even when I hear such words.
6. Never plans any vacations and also cancels the vacations that I plan.
7. Shouted at me once for ordering food when I was hungry as it was expensive. It was $1 cookie from Subway.
8. Never shows care or concern when I’m crying or hurt because I once didn’t care about him.
9. I was sick from an infection, he didn’t even bother to take me to a hospital or even look at specialists in my area after continuously asking.
10. When we get drunk with a group of friends, he expects me to stay calm,not get excited or at least shake hands with his friends but dances with his hand around my best friend’s waist.
11. Always looking at other girls when we go out or to pubs. He started feeling bad that other girls wouldn’t look at him or give him attention. He gets upset and tells me I’m spoiling his good mood when asked.
12. Supports his dad and sister even after they did me wrong multiple times. But blames my mom for manipulating me when all she asks me to do is adjust.
13. When I tell him about how I feel, it always escalates and points the finger back at me again. Never take accountability for his actions.

14. Always blaming me for stealing money from our joint account when I use my allocated money for anything.

15. There’s also physical abuse at times and I shake tremendously when a fight erupts.

… and the list goes on. I’m starting to wonder if it is even worth crying and putting efforts into such a person. There are some positive things he also does but the negatives are overshadowing the positives atp.

Picture is my favorite pineapple grill

Dinner is a baked potato with a corn on the cob and cut up steak

So im young and stupid and used retinol a couple of months ago in hope it would help with my hyperpigmentation and it just made my life more miserable. I shouldve thought twice about it and researched more into the chemicals im literally just slapping on my face. My skin barrier (im assuming) is completely stripped, my face is always dry and constantly peeling in small pieces like a snake with a fucked up shed. Its constantly in pain or in discomfort and it makes my life just a little more painful, i have eczema so im used to constant discomfort but this feels worse since its my fault. Sometimes my eyes will burn randomly or when i rub them,if i cry my eyes hurt,scratch my face a little too hard? Now i have marks there for atleast an hour and more skin peeling in that area. My eczema has never attacked my face or atleast not to this extent so i know its not that. My dermatologist gave me steroid and non steroid creams for my face and it feels like its doing nothing.Sometimes i hate going out in public because my face drys up so fast after putting on moisturizer it looks like i don’t put effort into my looks, literally everywhere peels, my eyebrows,cheeks,under my eyes, everywhere. I know people are starting at it when they look at me and it’s more noticeable because of my skin color.Just overall making my social anxiety worse. Sometimes family and friends point it out like i just didn’t put 3 different creams of my face and like i dont know that its there,i do,i always know its there.

EDIT: thanks to everyone giving suggestions and support. i will be putting the suggestions in motion as soon as i can

EDIT 2: Ive stopped using the retinol awhile ago and haven’t used anything on my face since besides ofc my prescriptions and Vaseline

EDIT 3: again thank you all for the support and recommendations,i was honestly scared this would never get better since what the doctors are giving me has shown no results after so long, im planning on either getting aquaphor soothing skin balm or la roche posay cicaplast balm, and get some more vanicream since i know it works for my skin (i ran out) also cetaphil gental skin cleanser when i think my skin can handle it.I will be bringing it up to my dermatologist for extra confirmation on whats safe and not.Ngl now i feel like one of those sephora kids after this whole experience

Peruvian Ceviche in Lima: The best I’ve had so far.

My parents brought me to the U.S when I was 4. I spent all my life in the states. I graduated HS, I got married, and had children. I married a US Citizen. We married for love I was 18, and he was 20. We already had our first son prior to getting married. We had another son 2 years later. We originally lived and NY and moved to NC for better opportunities since we are young financially struggling parents and my husband is our sole provider. After a few months of living in NC my little sister who was 12 came to visit us from NY on a vacation. It was only supposed to be for 2 weeks. Except she confided in me that she was enduring abuse at home. I won’t include details. My husband and I decided to keep her home with us, this was back in 2021. My life wasn’t perfect, my husband was still our sole provider. But I was rich in love and rich in health. My boys 8&5 are my whole world, my sister has been flourishing becoming her own person now that she is 17. I’m an immigrant, I didn’t start trying adjusting my status until I was about 20, due to lack of money. I’m now 26. I won’t go into specific details about the immigration process that has taken years and thousands of dollars to process, not to mention the immense emotional toll it’s taken. I have chosen to do it the right way, I’ve paid my fees, and I’ve stayed out of trouble in all my years in the US. The path I took was Consulate Processing. Meaning I’d have to come back to my home country, interview for a visa, and return to the US as a permanent resident. I have waited years for this step, when I finally got the letter that I had an interview, my husband and I held each other thinking this was the light at the end of the tunnel. I was only supposed to be away for about 3 weeks tops. To complete a medical appointment and the visa interview. I’ve been away from my family since 8/29. My interview was canceled 8/30 due to a worldwide pause implemented by the administration, explaining it was for training on public charge. I’m alone in a foreign country (I was born in Lima but have no family or connections) I was in my first trimester when I traveled now I’m in my second trimester with no prenatal care, I’ve fallen into a depression that’s affecting me more each day. My 5 year old will be 6 at the end of the month, my husband has a birthday 4 days after. I’m devastated because I will not be reunited with them for these special dates. I’ve never not spent special occasions with my family. The worst part is that I cannot just re enter the US, I have to wait until I have a rescheduled visa appointment and am granted a visa. I feel like I am dying without my children. This doesn’t mean I’m contemplating on hurting myself or want to. I need to stay strong and in one piece when I do return to the states. I just feel like it’s hard to breathe. This loneliness is eating me alive. I try to keep my head up, I just don’t know for how long I’ll be able to keep pushing forward week after week. I just want to go home and be with my family. Become a contributing member of society, help my husband financially, and be a woman my children can look up to. I did this process for my family, so they never have to be afraid that I’ll be taken away or be stuck and not be able to prosper in life. It feels like a cruel punishment. As of today no one knows when visa rescheduling will officially resume. Only a few embassy have started processing them and I follow immigration related subs. It’s hard to hold on to hope when there’s radio silence from the government. I just want to have an interview to finally achieve my dreams, and when this nightmare is over I know I’ll come out stronger on the other side. For right now the chapter I’m in is dark and cold.

first of all, i hope this doesn’t break the food shaming rule of the sub because i actually love yogurt and mean absolutely no shame to anyone

now that that’s out of the way, what the hell is the phenomenon where yogurt becomes absolutely unbearable in the last few bites??? the first few bites are literally heaven and i’m enjoying every second, but by the time i get to the bottom of the cup, eating it feels like pulling teeth.

my theory is that it gets warm??? but someone please tell me i’m not crazy because i love yogurt but the bottom of the cup is genuinely gag worthy (still gonna finish it anyway :p)

pictured is said yogurt in question.

How do you grieve a relationship when the other person says it never really happened? It’s kinda long so TLDR on bottom.

We were friends for about 4 years before we started sleeping together about half a year ago. The premise was that we'd be FWBs since neither of us wanted to date each other long term, but then it got intimate REALLY quickly. The first time we slept together, he looked me in the eyes and told me things he admired about me. We started hanging out most days of the week, texting throughout the day, cuddling, holding hands, showering together, and basically functioning like a couple. We were also mostly exclusive (and neither of us met up with anyone else) , and he took care of me in so many ways, including taking me to my wisdom teeth surgery while he was sick. He even said "I love you" first, then confirmed afterward that he meant it.

Eventually, we started arguing about consideration. I wanted more intentionality and acknowledgment when something hurt me. We had something like 6 marathon arguments, each lasting about 2-4 hours. We'd both sob, and he even started convulsing once? I kept trying because I genuinely wanted to make things work, and he was even starting to make some of the changes I asked for. He told me that he thinks about me more than I'd ever know.

Then we had our final conversation, and it felt like he was describing a completely different relationship. When I asked how close he considered us, he said "decently so." (Despite him saying I’m the person he’s invested the most time and energy into, I’m the only person he confided in, and I’m the person he talks to and spends time with the most by a large margin). He apologized for “leading me on” and said he wouldn't have initiated the arrangement if he hadn't been on his medication. When I brought up intimate things he'd said or done, he either claimed not to remember or had an excuse for why they didn't mean anything. The worst one was when he told me he forgot that he even said "I love you". I showed him his messages confirming he meant it and he said "why would I say that??".

I don't think he secretly wanted more than what we had, and neither did I considering our deep incompatibilities. But I thought there was at least a mutual understanding that we were more than just regular FWBs. His medication may genuinely have affected him, but I can't understand how he can now talk about everything as if it happened by accident.

We're indefinitely no contact now, and I'm struggling to grieve because I feel like I can't even get acknowledgment that the relationship existed in the first place. My friends agree that we were basically dating, and I know what I experienced, but it hurts that the person who shared all of it with me seems to remember it so differently. It makes me feel like I made all of it up.

TL;DR: My very close FWB of 6 months acted like a pseudo boyfriend and said "I love you," and now he claims he forgot all of it and blames his meds. It’s been such a mindfuck.

The meal is pan steamed onions, red+yellow peppers, and broccoli with beef chorizo Mac’n cheese.

Y’all are about to experience the rant about an “unseen” hyper fixation

Life is a little too good rn but I’m going with it, I’ve been making money and working my ass off and saving what I can and I’m about to complete my first and decently expensive custom long range rifle build and my fine tuned custom ghillie setup hoping to make my Celtic ancestors proud, I’ve been using ghillie suits and bows in combination since I was 15 years old, I’ve been shooting bows for longer but I’ve always wanted to use a long range rifle to launch a small bit of metal over a long distance and hit a target the size of a quarter. The ghillie suit I’m crafting is made by my hand and blows every previous attempt I’ve had out of the water,I’ve been studying the art of making ghillie suits for years designing and researching to create the most efficient, effective, and dare I say elegant design idea I’ve come up with yet and one of my previous designs had met or exceeded the criteria of suits that snipers in 6 major militaries (including the imperialist US) have to complete for their full career suits. The rifle is Finnish and is the most versatile and sleek that I can make it and on my birthday I’ll be able to take it out to sight in and practice just in time for rifle season and eventually some sniper challenges. I Feel like I’ve literally put a part of my soul into these two items like non-evil horcruxes (fuck Jerkoff.Karen. Rowling). Years of dreaming becoming a reality before my very eyes is frightening and I feel as tho I have more obstacles in my way but I’m not seeing them. Wish me luck lasses!

canned veggie/steak soup cause i’m hungry and haven’t eaten anything almost all day.

this will be nsfw - you’ve been warned

i am currently 6-7 months postpartum and recently i’ve noticed a shift in my hormones after being dry and tame. well, i have been wet. like ridiculously soaked. on top of being hydrated, it’s just been snail trail since yesterday. i’ve also been a horn dog and can’t do anything since i’m always watching my son and rarely get time for myself unless it’s a quick shower.

though, yesterday was very nice when my mom opted to babysit my son while i relax in the bath…

and you bet your sweet ass that i took my time too. i’m talking bubble bath that’s lavender and chamomile scented, some peace and quiet, then a lil bit of doujin reading with some bean flicking.

my fav will always be the Lady K and the sick man, never fails to get me going. but then, i read another doujin that’s based on height difference—this one being the woman taller than the guy. and i’m not gonna lie, it surprisingly turned me on (especially the part when she does the amazon/amazonian position or reverse breeding press). love it when the girl takes the initiative!!

i finally get to where i needed and finally it’s bliss. feeling absolutely pampered and refreshed. but i am gonna miss having bath time for a while now.

i’ll be reminiscing while eating this soup slop 🥲

What title says. Bf (27m) and I (24f) dated for 3 years and on Wednesday he blocked my number with no explanation. Hasn’t blocked me on social media but completely ignores my messages. Made his instagram (that he claimed he never used + never let me follow) public now, and surprise, 90% of his following is women. No fights leading up to this, no indication at all, we had called the night before and everything sounded great. I’ve never been more confused in my life. How can people do this, what goes through their heads??? He’s always been avoidant, but nothing like this obviously. In my mind he’s way too lazy to cheat, but I have no idea. At first I was just so mad lol, was talking to my ex as one does. But now I’m just devastated and so confused. How do I go about this??? I’ve had the self restraint to not message any of his family or friends lol. But wtf do I do now?? Broke my phone, got covid, now this. Somebody hexed me . Dominos pizza and Alfredo.

I’m 29, moved out of my parents home for love, moved to Anchorage since he is Airforce. He is on nights, I am on nights with him. I am bored and lonely. I have one friend who is his bestie’s wife and his other bestie’s wife has already decided to be mean and “test me” so that’s upsetting. I love him so I don’t regret it but fuck I’m lonely and already got burned. I don’t recommend roasting celery that recipe was stupid. Roasted carrot soup.

anyone else in unemployment hell? turns out my automatically generated indeed resume that i’ve been (1) using for weeks and (2) used for HUNDREDS of apps doesn’t have my degree on it.

entering into month 4 of unemployment.

fuck. my. life.