I will finally mean something

[u/102landen]

I am so tired of this miserable reality I live in. I already accepted it from a young age that I wasn’t going to live a full normal life. I can’t bring myself to ever stop it though. I can’t bear my mother or sister seeing me like that. Along with my girlfriend has already had go through it with some of her family. I cant ever be that selfish person to do that to them. At the same time I can’t tolerate this meaningless life much longer. My plan is that since Im still a young male with (believe it or not, exceptional firearm skills and experience,) somewhere in this fucked up world could use me for a good cause and I would probably eventually soon leave this world with a meaning. Without having to traumatize my loved ones. I figured I’d also be helping people in need in the process, as I end my own suffering.