I (M18) have a best friend (F18) and she is amazing in so many ways and I've started having feelings for her but I feel like she won't like me back ever, I brought it up that I liked her and she brushed it off and I'm not sure if I should keep trying to get her or try to forget about those feelings I have for her. It's been half a year since I asked her and I still don't feel healed from the rejection. I'm completely lost on what to do so I'm now asking people here, so please help...

**TL;DR;** : I like my best friend and she doesn't like me back

What do I do?

Hi everyone, my boyfriend, let’s call him C, 24M and I 24F met in college when we were 19. We had both just gotten out of relationships and started seeing each other, then started dating soon after. I was enamored by him and his handsomeness, humor, and intellect. But things are a bit complicated when I look back on our relationship because I had dated someone before him who made me feel very well understood. Let’s call him Z. Z and I were both a bit depressed and had similar adventurous attitudes, like we were trying to escape reality through soul seeking, coping with our sadness through each other. I really miss this guy now but had broken up with him because I got tired of how needy and codependent he was. It became unattractive and I wanted someone more like my current bf, someone more independent and less depressed, someone brighter who made me feel lighter. Fast forward three years after my current bf and I started dating and we began living together and have been for the past 1.5 years.

When we first moved in together in a studio after being long distance for about a year after graduating, I felt very excited to start a life in person with him. But slowly my feelings have declined because I don’t feel the same emotional draw or depth from him that I had felt with Z. However, C is so kind and loving, tries to show me he cares for me through his affection and acts of service. But I’ve noticed that I started to feel so much longing throughout our conversations, longing for something deeper. It’s hard to describe what that is exactly. I just wish he knew how to be more curious and compelling on an emotional level, but the guy is not very well-versed in his own emotions like that, like Z was. I’m starting to feel very bored and frustrated with him, and we have had many talks about it to where I verbalize exactly how I feel and he says he will work on himself and his emotional depth, but nothing changes. I don’t think this is something I can ask someone to change about themselves. When he told me he could give me space to breath though, I got very anxious and scared about him leaving. My gut reaction was to not break up with him in that moment.

I am confused and don’t know what to do. I think he’s an amazing person but I’m struggling to feel in love like how I used to feel with him. I also grew tired of my ex and broke up with him too. How do I fall back in love? I also feel like I’m treating the relationship like a marriage when we are just dating. I can leave and find someone else who makes me happier, but this guy is such a good guy and I do feel really lucky to be with someone like him. But I’m also young and maybe this is the period of my life I should take advantage of to date around and find someone who makes me happier? Idk what to do!

Tldr: I’m 24F and not feeling in love with a genuinely good guy 24M anymore because of my loss of emotional draw to him , how do I fall back in love?

For some context, me and my boyfriend live three hours away from each other and I am still in college, he is not.

We hung out for the first time September 7th and the day after that he wanted to be exclusive. I understood that because he said he only focuses on one person at a time but honestly looking back I feel that was too fast for me. We hang out almost once a week with everytime being a sleepover due to the distance thing.

He asked me to be his girlfriend last friday, october 9th and I said yes because I felt like it was the next natural step, he asked by saying “I don’t want to keep coming down here without being able to call you my girlfriend”. I also think that language rubbed me the wrong way but historically I don’t really speak up for myself in relationships until i’m checked out of them.

I am a hyper independent person and need alone time and he is very much a physical touch kinda person. When he comes over I feel like we can’t sit in silence without it being awkward or him asking is something is wrong with me. It makes me feel like I am weird for wanting any sort of distance or space. I worried things have gone too fast for me but don’t know how to approach that conversation. Before we started dating I did talk about how the reason I broke up with my ex was bc he didn’t give me enough space and always made me feel guilty about asking for it. And he said he wouldn’t have a problem with that because he has his own life too. But now he thinks something is wrong if I don’t respond fast enough (keep in mind i work 35 hours a week and am a full time student).

TL;DR I don’t know if we rushed into it or if I just shouldn’t be in a relationship when I have so much on my plate, or how to have a conversation with him about it.

We met in late September and clicked instantly. We’ve gone on 3 to 4 dates, and she even brought me to meet her parents. We’ve called every night since, usually until she sleeps.

She just moved to the Netherlands for a year. I’m proud of her, but I’m sad it feels like things were just starting. We’re not official yet, but we both want to keep in touch.

Questions:

How do we keep it from fading with a 6 to 7 hour time difference?

Should I ask to make it official, or let it grow naturally?

How do I handle missing her without being clingy while she settles in?

TL;DR: Met a girl a month ago, strong connection, she just moved abroad for a year. How do I make early long distance work?

Hi all! I (36F) have been with my boyfriend (57M) for 2 years, and I feel heartbroken that I won’t to end things. He is very codependent and talks in terms of being together forever, spending the future together, but has never initiated a conversation about actually planning a future. We spend like every weekend together, and I don’t see him during the week. I squeeze friends in after work since I feel like a few days a week isn’t a lot of time to see him. I’m tired of us packing weekend bags and then just texting during the week, and I feel like 2 years is long enough to want to take that next step of moving in together.

I brought this up, and he was not excited.. he doesn’t want to live with my cat, is worried about not having space for me (he’s already lived there with his wife, they divorced 10 years ago or so), and how living together changes things. Then he backtracked and said he does want to live together but not sure when.

Should I break up with him or try to stick it out for a while longer?

TL;DR been with boyfriend for 2 years, ready to move in and he likes things how they currently are

So we’ve been dating for 4 and a half years he was always into gaming but; now it’s reaching a breaking point as he got friends who dislike me bc i expect emotional,physical support in a relationship which means he wouldn’t be able to be on his games from the second he wakes up till he falls asleep. Yesturday i brought it up and he made it into a whole big ass fight i thought we fixed it (spoiler alert i was the one apologizing and shit) he called me 4h later told me how i crossed his boundary by nagging him and how im not to do that again, this is becoming emotionally abusive to me as i also paid for our London trip (room plus a big chunk of his flight) that he seems he doesn’t care about and openly says. We are going in two days and im not excited to take him at all (if he even goes) and doesnt go to a random village to see his 18 year old friend instead. Is this relationship even worth saving? Im so depressed with him and im not even making it seem longer than it his he was playing games/talking to his male friends for 17h without a break?
TLDR am I unreasonable or expecting too much or hes too childish and too male centered

We've been together over 2.5 years. I feel very bothered when he verbalizes these feelings. He's not the happiest with where he's gotten to with life this far, or his job. Sometimes he's made comments about how x thing is just a way to take money from losers like him. Or that x thing, like better insurance, was better geared towards those with families and not losers like him or something.

It makes me sad to hear him talk bad about himself. But it also feels like a lot to unpack.....like what exactly is so bad? He doesn't actually want to have the whole house and kids and yada yada. Comparing himself to others and what's often expected by x age is what I think robs him of his chance to be content for long. And its hard to offer comfort when faced with that. How can I help him be kinder to himself?

And also... I dont view myself as a loser....I wouldn't date one either. I'm going for my doctorate soon. I have passion for my work. Im conventionally attractive. I feel like I've worked so hard and tried to become better each year so I wouldn't have a loser by my side. So it bothers me to hear him talk bad about himself because by extension it calls into question my own judgment and my selection of him as my partner.

TL:DR Complex feelings towards bf saying hes a loser. Idk how to help him or make him be kinder to himself.

For a couple of months now, I've been seeing this guy. He's great and we really like each other, and it's become an official exclusive relationship.
Communication is excellent and healthy, and things are truly going amazingly.

But how do I trust this? I have so many issues stemming from previous relationships that this feels too good to be true, like surely I don't deserve something so good, someone who treats me so well.
He's aware of my anxiety and does his best to calm and reassure me and while I trust him, my anxiety makes it hard to do so.

This is currently a major hurdle. I want to be able to trust him more without anxiety from previous relationships getting in the way and creating issues.

How do I handle this?

TL;DR I don’t want my anxiety to create issues in what is a healthy relationship.

I am (20f) and my boyfriend is (21m), we have been together for almost a year now and have also been together throughout all of my college years, and one of his.

A few months ago we had a really deep talk on how he sometimes demands a lot, which can cause me to feel mentally exhausted, for example he always wants to know what i am doing, i take longer than an hour to respond he gets really hurt and ends up complaining about how i am not doing enough or that he feels neglected, he has also brought up the fact that he wants to see more often, but the thing is we see each other almost everyday single day, and he often visits me while i am at work meaning that i go little to no days without seeing him. Whenever we go more than a day without seeing each other he complains about how much he misses me and that i don’t make enough time for him. Which i understand to a point but i am taking really hard classes, have work, and also in multiple organizations at my school which makes me busy and stressed 24/7. I have mentioned to him that i cannot answer him every hour of the day and i mentally don’t have the capacity to be talking to someone all day either. I love him so much but it’s becoming to a point where i feel so mentally exhausted and starting to check out of the relationship.

I have also brought up the fact he should maybe join some kind of school organization, sport team or even get a job so he can meet others that have similar interests etc, but he is in his third year and still has not met or even put in the effort to make friends. If he wants to go out or do something i am the first person he reaches out for, which i love at times but sometimes i want him to have his own time with other people without me always being there. In a way i feel like him constantly wanting to see me and spend time together has also limited my college experience, i have noticed myself skipping class or not being able to see friends because he wants to see me everyday and i dont want to hurt his feelings. I have even tried to make him befriend some of my other friends but he politely declined.

I don’t know what to do, because i do love him and he has been the best boyfriend so far but it just feels like i can never meet his demands.

TDLR: My boyfriend constantly demands attention that i simply cannot give due to stress and school

i (26m) and my gf (26f) are going through a rough patch right now and idk how to proceed. she has an extensive history of neglect and emotional trauma from parents and exes but has never worked on her mental health. we started dating a few months ago and since the first week her insecurities have shown. it’s constant accusing and doubting my words to her even when i reassure her without her asking me for it, or unfollowing certain people and showing her my messages to prove im not doing anything malicious. i have communicated that it hurts me and i don’t like being treated like that but it still persist and 2 nights ago was really the final straw for me. it ended with her crying herself to sleep with a panic attack over me being on my phone for 30 sec while we were facetiming. she’s a wonderful partner and we are compatible in many ways but im not sure. i tried breaking up last night but she was crying and begging me to stay and i just felt so guilty and bad i caved and said 1 more chance but idk to be honest. i said shehas to go to therapy or im out and 1 more time of accusing me and being jealous in the toxic way that im done but i said i was done last night before i gave her another chance. no matter how much attention and love i give it seems like its not enough. we are long distance (8 hours)

TLDR; girlfriend is very insecure, borderline obsessive and jealous in a toxic way but we are very compatible and and says she’s willing to work on it but i already feel checked out and tried leaving already but stayed out of maybe wanting to fix it but mostly out of guilt of hurting her. need advice

so im 18m and my gf 18 and ive been dating for an year. i kid u not shes the best gf every and she treats me so good better than my parents ever have and can. and she buys me lots of gifts, expensive ones even. so one day a couple months after we started dating, she was fixing my hair and i was like u give mom vibes and bro was genuinely a changed person from that day on.

Like from that day on, she'd call me this nickname that means son in my language. i mean its not bad but its lowk uncommon to say that in my language although it IS becoming more popular to call ur bf son here. and i didnt say no shit cause i was lowk enjoying it until it became so obvious that bro was taking her mommy fetish out on me (i mean i have a mommy fetish too but dawg be fr). then she'd say these weird 18+ jokes that made me uncomfy i told her its making me uncomfy so she'd apologise and then say it again. oh and on the very first of dating like when we first went on a date , she asked me if i was into little space and i was so weirded out i was like idk maybe in the future ( i genuinely would love that but asking that on the fucking first day of dating is hella creepy) and she said her ex was into little space so i was like ok. back to present she asked me if i wanted her to buy me a pacifier and i genuinely how to reply to that shit i js left her on seen cuz genuinenly wtf and i told my friend abt ts (theyve all been telling me shes a red flag from the start cuz she used to make fun of my accent) and he asked his female friend if its common for yall to act like this weird mommy shit and she said hell nah and called my gf a weirdo and a creep.

these r the reasons why im thinking of breaking up with her plus she always jokes abt having other boys and that makes me uncomfy too. my friends r saying shes gross and a weirdo. she js makes me uncomfortable all the time but i cant break up with her shes genuinelnly so kind except for certain things and shes bought me lots of gifts if i breakup id have to return them and i genuinely feel like a bad person :(

tl;dr: my gf says jokes that makes me uncomfy but shes genuinely very kind so idk if i should break up with her not

Please be nice; this has taken me years to come to this point, and now I’m spiraling and extremely lost on what to do. 

I, an early 20F, have been struggling with this issue for a few years now. I think I’ve gotten over it, and then either something comes up that resurfaces the issue or my brain starts overanalyzing it again, and I can’t get it to turn off. This causes me to spiral. I’m going to try to keep this extremely vague to protect my family’s privacy. I’m simply looking for advice on what to do. 

I’m the oldest in my family and have two younger siblings. When I was growing up, we had a fairly normal life, and I was very happy being surrounded by family, seeing my cousins and grandparents a few times a week. However, a significant event occurred that caused my dad to relocate the family to the other side of the USA. To an extremely rural area where his family was. 

Two years after we moved to this remote area, his family moved away, and we were left all by ourselves. My dad would continually have to fly back and forth so he could continue working and make money for the family in a completely different state while we stayed in the extremely rule area on the other side of the USA all by ourselves. He was gone most of my childhood because of this.

Anyone who has lived in a rural area knows people who live there aren’t very welcoming to newcomers. We learned that very quickly. My middle sister and I were severely bullied in middle school, and the teachers did nothing, saying it was just child’s play. Examples of the bullying include my sister getting dragged across the playground by her pigtails, upskirting my dress, pulling my hair, or shoving me into the wall, and many more examples similar to these. In that area, if you wear your hair put together or dress up in fashionable or cute outfits, you are instantly looked down upon. The go-to outfit is jeans and a T-shirt. It got to the point where I refused to go to school until I got those items so I could somewhat fit in and not get bullied as severely.

Being a girl who adored Paris and fashion, this was extremely devastating, and for the next 10 years I had to deal with this(it ended up escalating to sexual harassment). I lost a lot of my identity, trying to be what everybody else wanted me to be just to fit in and not get bullied anymore. Because the second somebody knew you weren’t from there. It was an instant target on your back. I wish it was just designated to the kids. It was also the adults who would not only egg it on, but would participate in it. For example, when I was 16, I was running my own business, paid for with my own money. I was helping a family out with rebuilding a building that pertains to the item I was selling, and I told her you could use this type of roof; however, I find this one’s more affordable and more cost-efficient. Her husband, who was three to four times my age, looked me dead in the eyes and started laughing, saying, “How would you know that? Your dad pays for everything”. 

On top of that, there were things that I wanted to do that I never was able to do because my parents said they would never do that. Or what I wanted to do wasn’t available in the area we moved to. Plus, there were no opportunities to pursue these interests. So the second I turned 18, I left the house and moved back to the area we had come from. Six months later, my family also moved back, which I was extremely excited about, having them nearby. However, made me start to question. Why couldn’t they have done that earlier? Why did I have to go through that?

Now my middle sister and I have moved out of the house, and my little sister is literally getting everything I ever wanted. My middle sister is also struggling with this as well so it’s not just me. Maybe it’s because my parents have more time for my little sister, but they’re now doing stuff that, when my middle sister or I begged to do the same thing, they turn their noses up and say they would never do that. To add, it’s not the money aspect since I asked them about that.

I know you can’t control other people‘s actions, and I’ve tried therapy, talking to people, and to just ignore it and move on with my life, but it’s so hard when that’s all my mom and dad can talk about is these things my sister is doing. I told them it’s hard for me to hear, but that’s their whole life and they have nothing else to discuss, if that makes sense. Not only that, but they have also now purchased the item that I so desperately wanted when I was younger, and instead of using it properly, they proceed to break it and act shocked when I told them that would happen. It’s almost like the scene from Cinderella where her stepsisters are ripping up her dream dress that her mice have so kindly made. I know it’s an overdramatic statement, but that’s the only way I can describe how I feel. I’m trying to move on, trying to not hold resentment but it is so hard. My middle sister has simply given up and completely cut off my family. I don’t want to do that; however, I don’t know what else to do, and this has been extremely painful for me to go through. 

I’m very all in or all out and don’t do well with the in between. I’ve been working on it, but I get so hurt in the process that I’m at the point of giving up. I tried to state I was disengaging with them with my mom and little sister, and instead of acting concerned, I was met with “that’s a stupid idea,” and when I explained I wasn’t blocking them, just not wanting to talk as much, they started laughing, saying “that’s not disengaging”. I have blocked them at the moment just to process that and not say anything I would regret because that was extremely hurtful. I love my family and struggle with having relationships due to the bullying and getting used. So I trusted my family to be there, and now that the rose colored glasses were removed, it made me realize I would never tolerate this from anyone else….. Making me extremely upset with myself.

This is the backstory of what’s going on. So my question is, how can I better set boundaries with my parents? I love my parents so much and don’t think I could completely cut them off long term, which is why I’m looking for advice on how to better set boundaries.

Thank you for taking the time to read🙏

tl;dr: I’m in my early 20s and have been struggling with resentment toward my parents for years after being moved across the country to a rural area where my siblings and I experienced severe bullying and missed out on opportunities we wanted. When I turned 18, I moved back to where we originally lived, and my family eventually followed. Now my younger sister is getting to do things my parents told my middle sister and me they would never allow, including things we begged for growing up. It’s painful watching my parents embrace these opportunities for her while also seeing them mishandle things I once desperately wanted. I’ve tried therapy and talking to my parents, but it’s hard to move forward when these things are constantly brought up. I love my family and don’t want to cut them off, but my attempts to set boundaries have been dismissed and laughed at. How can I establish healthy boundaries with my parents while working through my resentment and maintaining a relationship with them?

I'm 24M, my girlfriend is 24F, relationship going now for almost 2 years.

I love my girlfriend to pieces and she's my best friend. For complicated reasons, not really to do with me, she decided in January that she didn't want to have sex any more. It's a ban until marriage, when she says it will resume.

This is my first relationship, but her third. Like I say, I love her to pieces but I really really miss sex. I'm not in a position to marry her right now - to be honest, I just want a girlfriend who I enjoy spending time with.

We've broken up a few times this year very briefly over either this or other things. A large part of me is thinking that this isn't sustainable and that I'm missing out on life in my 20s - but like I say, my girlfriend is my best friend and I can't really imagine life without her. For context, we got together soon after leaving uni, so basically our entire post-uni life has been together.

The sex ban can make things difficult. Like I don't mind paying for things, cooking for her etc. but I'm not really sure what she does that's nice for me any more, aside from being my best friend. Any advice would be v welcome.

TL;DR! My girlfriend won't have sex with me any more, and I'm worried I'm missing out on life. That said, she's my best friend and I don't want to lose her.

TL;DR: My fiance has been looking at inappropriate content and tried to lie about it.

I’ve been with my fiance since I was 12, almost 10 years. When I was around 15 or 16 I looked at who he was all following on social media and found a bunch of accounts of dedicated to posting half naked videos and pictures of women. I confronted him, he unfollowed them and was very apologetic. I was obviously upset but pretty understanding given his age.

Fast forward to 2 days ago, I went on his phone while he was asleep to see when an amazon order we placed would arrive. When I went to close the app I see that instagram is open and there’s a bunch of inappropriate content on his feed. Naturally I look at it and realize it’s a second account I didn’t know about. His following was fine, just a bunch of meme accounts but his saved posts were all half naked women. I left that page open and turned off his phone so that would be the first thing he saw when he opened it. Eventually he woke up and unlocked his phone and I confronted him. The account was an old account he recovered recently so he tried to say it was all from before the last time he was caught but the content was posted too recently for that to be true. When I asked him why he was saving it he lied again and said he didn’t know why because it was just rotting there. Honestly I’m more mad at him for lying than the act itself. It took an hour of grilling him for him to admit what he was obviously doing with that content. At first he said he only did it because it was “easier to access” than the pictures and videos he has of me in his phone. Eventually I got him to admit he was just bored of looking at the same stuff over and over. I don’t understand why he didn’t just ask to make more videos, he said he has no excuse for that.

He was very apologetic and sad to see me upset and deleted the account. Once I had calmed down he took me out for supper and bought me a few things that I collect to try to help my mood. I’m mostly upset because he’s a really good guy, he’s an amazing partner and I thought he didn’t overly sexualize other women or lie to me. I feel like I don’t know him as well as I thought I did. His excuses were dumb but I can get over the content part.. it’s the lying that I really can’t get past. He put me in a tough position because he knows he’s my best friend and I love him dearly. He also knows I’m disabled and financially dependent on him so I wonder now if he thinks I’ll just stay no matter what. I don’t want to break up but it’s gonna be really hard to gain my trust back. He told me I could look through his phone whenever but I don’t want to do that. He keeps asking me what else he can do to gain some trust back but I really don’t know.. I wish I never looked. I love him so much and I just want this all to be over.

What should I do? How can I learn to trust him again?