Last year my lease horse suddenly passed away from colic. Since then I have had reoccurring flashbacks and anxiety surrounding the event. I never saw his body and I wasnt there when he died. My mom got the message he was having mild colic in the evening and in the morning when i woke up she broke the news that he had to be put down due to an impaction.

Since then I have been terrified of people and pets suddenly dying. I also already had symptoms of OCD that only got worse after the event. Everyone around me is tired of my overreacting and gets mad when I over think now.

Today my horse had some straining to poop. He's my first horse and its my first time dealing with anything colic related. I know from someone that knew him before I bought him that he gets constipated during fall and its happend every year, but im still so worried. I let my coach and barn owner know and shes keeping an eye on him. He did end up pooping after around 10 to 15 minutes of mild straining and he has no other symptoms. I'm still incredibly worried though.

So far I have thrown up, had multiple panic attacks, been uncontrollably sobbing, and been dissociating on and off. I keep having flashbacks to when I found out my lease horse was dead and having panic attacks over it. Im scared to sleep beacuse I dont want to wake up to my best friend being dead.

My mom is mad at me for crying about it and told me to stop over reacting and that I can't use this as an excuse. I'm not trying to over react I'm just so scared.

Worst part is the fact there's a chance he won't be okay beacuse he very well could be colicking which can take a turn for the worst very fast.

I just feel so stupid though because people get PTSD from actual trauma and mine is from a horse that wasn't even mine dying. I didnt even see the body.

I just feel so stupid

I've been self harming since I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old. It got really bad in my late teens and early twenties, usually revolving around my family. I finally told and showed my mum after a lifetime of hiding it. I thought she would understand because she has PTSD too. But she didn't. At all. We had a fight over someone who hurt me, but who she still loves and often picks over me when we disagree. I thought she'd see and understand how much this has been hurting me. How much he hurt me. Instead, she was just disgusted and angry. Said awful things, things I already knew. I know she's going to tell the rest of my family. They already think I'm unstable. Their favorite thing to say about me is that I'm "too sensitive" and "too dramatic" even when the emotions are justified. Idk. I just feel stupid. I shouldn't have thought I could trust her. Now everyone will know.

Hi, I had a abusive dynamic with someone years ago. I believe I am healed enough from the sexual assault but there is this problem that keeps coming up when I swipe on dating apps. any man from the same ethnicity as him, triggers me so much that I immediately swipe left and close the app. And I feel guilty because these people literally have done nothing to me but the idea of giving a chance to them in romance reminds me of the past.

I don't have this problem with normal interactions I have with people of this ethnicity in real life. it specifically gets triggered when they ask me out or I see them as potential matches on apps. It really does not last long and the panicky episode is gone in a minute or two. but I just really feel guilty because these people are innocent. I feel so bad about this.

PTSD is not a phase. It's not something I can simply grow out of, forget about, or switch off whenever someone tells me to move on.

The nightmares, the anxiety, the difficulty trusting people, and the memories that still affect me years later are REAL.

Just because something happened a long time ago doesn't mean its impact magically disappears. Healing isn't linear, and I shouldn't have to constantly explain my trauma just to have my feelings taken seriously.

I'm tired of people treating PTSD like it's a temporary mood or something I'm choosing to hold onto.

I deserve patience, understanding, and respect. My trauma does not define my entire future, but that doesn't mean my experiences should ever be dismissed. 🖤

Some of the experiences I had with white people back in high school left me with trauma that I still carry today. I still experience PTSD symptoms and nightmares from things that happened years ago. People don't always understand how deeply those experiences can affect someone's ability to trust.

It's also why I personally wouldn't date a white person. I've encountered too many people who acted entitled to people of color, as though our attention, affection, and boundaries were theirs to claim.

I'm not obligated to date anyone, explain my preferences, or make myself uncomfortable just to spare someone else's feelings.

My boundaries are mine. My experiences are real. And my peace will always matter more than anyone's sense of entitlement. 🖤

My bf just came out of the psych ward for psychosis and he got physically assaulted and lost two teeth. This is on top of his lifetime of childhood abuse and just a poor life in general. Hes diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD

Is it best that he looks for a new therapist specialized in PTSD? Right now i think his current therapist is just a talk therapist..

What should he look for when he tries to find a new therapist?

A little over a month ago my wife and I got into argument that escalated to dv her to me and I threatened myself and spent a few days in a behavioral health center where I was diagnosed with ptsd. We've separated for the time, im dealing with this on my own and I dont know what's a ptsd problem and what's normal anxiety and depression.. I guess its probably all connected. Even with my therapists help I just cant seem to over come anything

My mother had abandoned me. I was 10 or 11 when I was first sent to my godmother. She would wear less and less clothes and would often make me strip too. It was presented to my as a play, and it was definitely playful and her nudity felt maternal and intoxicating. Before I was made to do things and I would be bored and grumpy to perform and became more fuzzy but it was still presented as togetherness. As I grew I became the little boyfriend then graduated to be her little man and by 16 she was calling me her man and I actually thought she was my gf/wife as we slept together and did everything an adult couple would do. I'm ashamed to admit that I would be clingy and needy for sex but it was less penetrative sex and a lot more kissing and serving all. All the things she conditioned and taught me to do. By then I knew it was wrong but we discussed it like a lovers problem and rebelling against the world. I didn't have any safe space to confine until went to college and my first gf forced this truth that what happened to me was not okay and then therapy brought the real chaotic anxiety that it was messed up. Took years to accept myself. Still struggle with that. I didn't mind it. It's hard to admit. But the resistance was also futile because I was constantly lured with things and gifts when it became too much.

Feeling immense shame and deep isolation thinking about it. It was definitely a trauma bonding over fear of abandonement. Now in 30s having no one around to talk about it.

I take prazosin for my parasomnia nightmares and it helps a lot. But on that medication I can easily sleep 10-12 hours and I am SO tired in the morning.

Does anyone experience that as well? If you do, have you found a way to negate that side effect?

CWs for alcohol and SA/DV

I quit drinking a year ago with no support in place, all the shit I numbed with alcohol came flooding back and I've been an agoraphobic, anxious, unemployed shut in since then. I ended up in crisis for a week after about 10 months of total isolation.

At one point I was sat in a room for evaluation with a male therapist, male social worker and female CNA and sat next to the woman; when they asked about any history of sexual abuse I cried and she asked if that's why I sat next to her; I cried harder. It wasn't even a conscious choice, but I feel so constantly unsafe, and particularly unsafe in public and around men and it sucked having that pointed out to me. It means it's visible and perceivable and not just my secret inner thoughts. It affects everything I do and how I live.

They immediately gave me gabapentin and prazosin (extremely vivid dreams and nightmares since I was a kid, now as an adult I avoid sleep and it isn't restful anyway), and some Invega shot to help me stop dissociating. It seems to be helping a bit. I've responded to a few friends I have been ignoring for months, so that's positive.

Anyways, I had my intake with the outpatient psych on Monday after being released from crisis on Saturday. 6 hours later I walked out in tears with a ptsd diagnosis.

I feel....I don't know. It feels good to know I'm not just a whiny little bitch. It feels good to have someone say "that was trauma." (Mostly SA, but like...a lot, from early years to recent.) The psych seemed particularly concerned with how much I was watching the people pacing outside the window and how hypervigilant I am of my surroundings, which I'm assuming largely led to the diagnosis (aside from other symptoms and history of trauma.)

I'm nervous. I'm scared of how to move forward from here. I've been in therapy off and on my whole life and never made much progress. Maybe it'll be different with the diagnosis on my file? Is there some magical treatment for ptsd that a therapist wouldn't have considered before? I almost did EMDR a few years ago but didn't even make it through the intake appointments without getting overwhelmed and stopped going to that therapist. Does it work? I did DBT and it didn't help.

I start therapy next Monday and have a whole ass psych team now. I thought I was just anxious and having a psych confirm actual PTSD feels so unreal. Like it's not just throw a Xanax down my throat and call it a day, not run of the mill anxiety.

I'm scared I'll never get better. I'm scared I'll never function again. I'm sad I was so much more functional when I was killing my liver. Even though that meant blowing up my life once a year, I got to live my life the rest of the year, you know? I don't miss drinking but I miss who I was when the world was dulled. I miss not waking up every time I hear someone walking past my apartment. I miss not feeling my heart beat out of my chest when my upstairs neighbors move around.

But I'll be in therapy. I'm gonna try. I don't know how it'll go or how hard I can try, but I'll try. I'll probably delete this soon but I needed to get this off my chest and put all my thoughts out there, I'm sorry if this breaks any rules. Thank you for reading.

I have PTSD from multiple assaults towards me that all happened when I was 19/20.

I’m 32 now and have been dealing with panic attacks since then.

Hello my ptsd family

I've been prescribed prozasozin once again ( I was out on 1mg but it was discontinued as it didn't work ) I recently got prescribed it again but started at 2 mg this time around because I had explained to my doctor that 1mg didn't work for me. So I'm on 2mg but it's time I go up to 5mg and honestly I'm so scared. I've suffered from my trauma nightmares for 25 years and I know I do need something to help but I'm scared to go up to 5mg because I take other medications along with it and I'm scared my blood pressure will drop so low that I won't wake up one day. My blood pressure is normal and I'm scared if I go up to a higher dose that it could go bad.

What was your experience with upping your dose ? What side effects did you have ? What dose are you on? Is it supposed to stop your nightmares completely or just lessen the panic when you wake up?

As the title says, I'm just looking for advice for who I'm supposed to see for a suspected ptsd diagnosis.