r/OCPoetry • • Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

510 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry • • 13d ago

Poetry Contest PROMPT: Rattle Ekphrastic Challenge, October 2026

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone. One of the OCPoetry mods here. Let's share a prompt for the whole subreddit. (If this looks familiar, we did it last month too.)

 

Every month Rattle, a leading poetry magazine, presents a visual work of art and asks poets to respond to that artwork in poetry. This is called ekphrastic poetry. I thought it would be fun to post that here for anyone looking for inspiration or a challenge.

 

Here is this month's artwork. Your challenge is to write a poem in response to that art.

 

Normal feedback rules do not apply to this thread. Write and share as many poems in response to that artwork as you'd like.

 

Also, if you feel like you've written something really excellent, you should know that Rattle DOES allow you to submit poems to them for publication that have appeared in online forums. (Most magazines consider those already published; Rattle allows internet-shared poems as long as they're "uncurated," i.e., haven't gone through an editorial process. I can assure you that here on OCPoetry we do not have any kind of editorial process.) So if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can use that link above to submit your poem to them. It's a long shot — they get hundreds of entries every month, maybe thousands at this point idk, and only two are selected — but it's good practice if you're thinking about getting into publication and can manage the mixture of pride in your work and almost certainty of rejection that goes into the literary magazine publication process.

 

Anyway, enjoy the challenge! I hope you have fun. If enough people enjoy this I can make it a regular thing.


r/OCPoetry • • 1h ago

Feedback Please Out of Time

• Upvotes

I'm not so sure
what's real anymore.

A sunrise setting?
The pain of a heart beat?

A slice of life
cut much too wide?

Not quite living
while being alive?

People always dying
long before they've died?

Looking at the sky,
you see stars in the past,
presented in your present
like a present in time.

If I jumped from a mountain
and learned I could not fly,
would I look into my past
and tell me not to try?

No that's silly;
the past requires payment,
but this time,
I'm all out of distance.

FB

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oeT7QhSc7Y

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/AKToo3EqSQ


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Just Sharing mr hedgehog

2 Upvotes

mr hedgehog
are you muddling home?
but you’re caught between rubber and road
mr hedgehog
are you being missed?
my what short life you lived
mr hedgehog
i’m going to go now

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WSrYFKyyle

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/mHiV1aKtRW


r/OCPoetry • • 43m ago

Feedback Please Untitled

• Upvotes

What am I to do?

You ask, but you don't hear.

A response is given, with and without words.

If she wanted you, she'd keep you near,

you'd be dear to her heart, you'd be

thought of, you'd be missed, you'd

be a comfort, not on the bottom

of a shoe, a smear.

A smear campaign is in order, sire.

Slander her name the way she slanders your love,

your desire.

Thrashing about within your chest cavity,

that precious, tender heart, torn

to bits, pieces.

Her luscious words, her delightful smell,

you miss it.

You want this.

You don't want this

to stop.

Desperate. Lonely.

Of course. Of course. Of course.

She is sweet like honey,

and you, sire, are a bear.

link 1

link 2


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Just Sharing The Decoy

2 Upvotes

​

I kept the surface perfectly still.

Let the breath bruise the ribs,

the pulse turn its teeth inward.

I offered the world the silence of a surrendered man

and it mistook the composure for strength.

Survival is a flawless forgery,

the architecture of a smile,

the precise pitch of laughter,

the likeness of a man

assembled from his own absence.

I have spent a year sprinting

in the shape of a man standing still.

I ran so far from the wreckage

that even the distance looked like living.

Look at the photographs.

There I am, smiling

proof that I was there,

but not that I was alive.

Was I ever happy, or merely fast enough

to keep the grief out of the frame?

This is the cruelest theft.

Not the loss of feeling,

but the loss of faith in what feeling means.

Every good memory, an alibi.

Every joy, hearsay.

For a body long braced against the breaking,

even the absence of pain resembles grace,

and stillness passes for peace.

Until I am left unable

to tell the difference

between a heart that is full

and a chest that is merely empty.

link 1

link 2


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Feedback Please First The Echo

1 Upvotes

First the echo,

Snaps against stone walls warmed in the sun.

-

He stumbles, dizzied, dumb,

Looking for some

Instrument? An origin, an answer.

-

His arm hangs loose,

He can’t see the blood.

He starts to lose his footing.

-

Then, jouncing over soft grass

Come the onlookers,

Their arms wide and searching,

Like infants' for company.

-

Thirty feet of silence separates him.

-

The wind stops to watch.

-

When they reach the body,

They tell it everything’s going to be ok.

-

-

-

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x63swv/comment/pgyplxg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5wnfu/comment/pgyt3bd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 8h ago

Feedback Please Death Of A Doe

2 Upvotes

Today the sun sets with longing

Casting one last ray towards a dying doe

Trees witness the cry for help

Decide to stand still, gaze at the corpse

Its stench ploughing through the night

Today a doe dies and it does nothing to the forest

A doe died a week ago and it did nothing too

Below the undergrowth a stuttering bleat

Goes unnoticed and soon starts to decay along

Scavengers scrape the flesh off the bones

Leaving only a memory for tomorrow

The doe dies a painful death, in silence

And the forest follows its death with celebration

For all the starved and the beaten

The cycle is ruthless and waits for none

Beauty only a token to comprehend this

The doe dies but the cycle goes on

It makes a doe out of a fawn

To see another day under the sun

Until the new doe is done

The cycle is the nature and nature cyclical

And to call this a song is lyrical

The song of life

The song of death

The song of beating heart and silent breath

This is the lesson it leaves us with

A lifeless body becomes temple of worship

For the homeless and the hungry

For the savages and the trees

To face our life with this thought

Misery is fleeting and may not stay

Joy likewise may wander away

Pain and sorrow are idle visitors

And happiness the same

But this single soul we possess

Which the whole world shares

Will never cease to exist

And to know this is to realise

That the doe did not die

But goes on to live

Through you and I

--

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RIo0CkDGVm

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/KQFNSzY8SQ


r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Feedback Please Left behind

2 Upvotes

What about the things that you left at my place?
What I left at yours?
What we left in our space
After every time we walked through the doors?

If we feel no regret, then let it all fade
If no longing remains
If no heartache or chains
If it feels too strange, then walk away.

But come on over if you wanna come over
If you wanna drop by, just do
I’m still right here, nothing’s different with you.

And I’ll drop by if you want me to drop by
I guess that I will, but hey—
Please tell me out loud if I overstay.

Did we really leave nothing behind anymore?
Is this really the end? Better check around once more
Take a look before you walk out the door
- Take a look around before saying goodbye

If there's nothing we forgot, then let it just be
- You won't come
No need to drop by to see
No regrets left to trace
Treat it like the very last time.

But come on over if you want to.
If you wanna drop by, just do.
I’m still right here, nothing’s changed on my end.

And I’ll drop by if you ask me to,
I probably will, but hey—
Tell me straight up if I overstay.
- Tell me to go if I stay too long
Tell me to leave if I overstay...

Listen:
Please kick me out.
Please send me home.

Feedback 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/63nyBcn1nV
Feedback 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/lCgFIwJZAe


r/OCPoetry • • 11h ago

Feedback Please Preparing for my father's funeral during our fight

2 Upvotes

If my father were to die today 

let him rest between the silence after fight

let him be still and listen 

what happens to a family

when violence becomes an answer

let his breath cease like our voice

that hides away in shame 

--

If my father were to die today 

let him die 

let him know how it feels

to kill the innocence of a woman 

make a son look after his mother 

let him understand how a mind rots 

when a mother is forced to cut all her ties

with family, with friends 

with her soul and strength

--

If my father were to die today 

let him not 

let him feel the love of the family that he damaged 

let him feel the warmth of woman 

treated so cold 

let him depend on his son

who had none 

but his mother to depend on

let peace penetrate his leathery heart

and our wounds soothe his rage

--

If my father were to die today 

let him see 

the pain he passed on to us

handed down to him

by his father 

upbringing that messed him up

the same cycle that he repeats 

will be the death of the cycle itself 

let him regret the things he did 

and things he put us through

and learn

that a broken child seldom grows up

to build a new one 

--

If my father were to die today

let him say

he was sorry and strives to change 

and we in return would say 

it is hard to forgive but we will do

and let him share our family too

--

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/h4U7lBegst

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8QQlRYKFeN


r/OCPoetry • • 16h ago

Feedback Please ThereAreNoTherapists

4 Upvotes

Therapy is once a month
And you’re alone for 28 days while parents
Galavant to Asia
Business and Buddha
The usual 

The loneliness creeps in at 1AM
The parents’ bedroom too big
For markers and books and plushies
Yet so small for a girl, age 34
Still wondering what lies in her future

Between pharmacy licenses and tutoring
Seasonal job hunts and mopping
(which you’ll get to tomorrow, no big deal)
Piano and tutoring
She wonders if it’s okay…

To just…not be okay.

But there are four bedrooms to scream in
Three days of karate per week
Two coloring books to complete
(2 48-packs of Ohuhus to aid you, plus 10 dozen more for fun)

Church has people listening to your concerns
And a God who takes your sufferings
So that some other person in Africa can convert it to good
Make a better place than a bad place.

You have friends and family to connect with
Discord and Viber at your fingertips
A car for one-hour drives
Dumplings in the freezer

Journals for self-care and solo RPGs
Multiple pens with glitter and scents
Endless adventures based on the draw of a card
Up to 6 at a time

There is love, there is a future
There are connections and noodles
There are plants (gotta keep basil from bolting)
And dishes (wash the backs as well)

There are movies to watch
There’s matcha and pumpkin for coffee days
And hot water to cleanse your Rubber Soul

There is you, and you’re gonna be okay

(And there’s red velvet cake in the fridge. Don’t forget the cake)

Note: Title spacing is based on the editing on tvtropes. This trope is a pet peeve of mine which discusses how people in fiction never seem to get therapy for their problems. Heavily inspired by the loneliness I'm feeling as my parents are off for a month-long business trip in Myanmar and Thailand.

Feedback: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x61bwi/comment/pguevyl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x6cn0i/comment/pguf8ff/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please I made a choice

1 Upvotes

I made a choice to enrich my mind
My mind , the song , the poem , the art
My mind, the science, the math , the logic
All in one but all is lost
Fireworks up down left right
Dazzling pieces lost to space
But at least we’re entertained

I made a choice to enrich my mind
My Choice, the downloads and uploads
My choice, the daily routine of chastisement and lawlessness
The dissolving body of choice
One path lost, second, third
All the propaganda smoke screen giving leave
The touch controlled choice

I made a choice to enrich my mind
Enrich my heart my mind my eyes
Enrich my hunger for knowledge and aggression
Satisfaction without location of origin
Fingers curl and stretch in hunger for satisfaction
Satisfaction by the envoy of the rich

feedback 1
feedback 2


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please Waves

1 Upvotes

Every time these cold waves rise—
crashing down in their gentle rhythm—
they bring back memories of you.

As far as my eyes can wander,
no path reveals itself to me,
only vast waters stretching everywhere.

Surrounded by towering mountains,
I sit upon a bench, alone, and wait,
leaving the space beside me empty...

hoping the voice of these surging waves
somehow reaches you.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/bK0tuWSiTH)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jrRx8v4puW)


r/OCPoetry • • 19h ago

Feedback Please Give Me Your Best Poem

6 Upvotes

It’ll be a doozy, I’ll tell you that much
But it starts with the second line of a poem
I wrote three years ago about persimmons
Charred, split, pale bodies on cinnamon
(I kept it alone and deleted the rest).

Then goes a conversation overheard at a
Shell station, unmoored by a rigidity
Bulging from the Civic at Station Three,
Where she asked him why motherhood is
Being, and why fatherhood is becoming.
Half-gone now, on a curry stained napkin.

I’ll slide in a line or two about fourteen,
And the thoughts I had about Miss Abel.
The skirts, the almond-slivers of ankle
That I forgot when the water shut off but
Which floated back like unfinished love,
Tentative and kindly.

The next stanza might start in Chinese
How the word for “famous” translates to
“Have-name,” and I’ll finish it with a
Rant on Facebook of a furious mother
Who is plying a chasm, a language loss,
With overripe fruits and pleading silence.

The poem has the clouds, of course,
My jarred plums and softened basil,
And my weeping to “Wild Geese”.
Then somewhere along stanza three –
I’ll stuff in, swollen, poems that failed
Oh, the Poem and the competition
Envelope between pairs of socks.

Here you have it. Best listened to,
Or read aloud in the dark, or spit
Onto a bathroom mirror, or left
Outside cold, with the prosciutto
Plates and warm lemonade.

-

1 2


r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Feedback Please Dawn

1 Upvotes

Sitting in the dark,

Yet the light was on.

Nothing to see,

But pictures of dawn—

A dawn I never saw,

Only dreamt to see.

Not because the sun never came,

But because I never believed.

I said it was lies—

Lies that I wanted to be true.

But nothing blinds one’s eyes

More than the hatred within his heart.

Not just any hatred,

But a hatred so pure:

A self-sabotage.

You don’t grow with it,

But you learn to live with it.

To let it consume you,

To feed and feast—

You become a lamb

For your own devils to eat.

You say you’re not afraid of death,

You say you’ll never die.

But every time you get close to it,

You start praying to God.

Yet you can't lie—

Only in death do you feel alive.

You wish for agony,

But never for demise.

You wish to burn

Until you can't no more.

You say it's for others,

But it's just another selfish act of yours.

A liar,

A thief,

A madman,

A kid,

A sinner,

A priest,

A sheep,

And a wolf—

You never were you,

Just a reflection of your own disbeliefs.

Never the truth.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/fVZt3ZBHfO

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ywbptU2KEz


r/OCPoetry • • 17h ago

Feedback Please The Man and the Vulture

2 Upvotes

As I tread the trail on a warm spring night
And the sagging trees obscure my sight
I peer ahead and see a bird ahead
A crane? No, “A vulture!” I said.

Below its feet, a carcass has settled
From the vultures picking, its canvas speckled
I approach this bird, my rhythm has slowed
And the stench of the carcass, floods my nose

The closer I get, the more I can see
So I stop and stare, get down on one knee
The vulture, so drawn to its repast
Did not offer me not even one pass!

This bird, it mocks me, shown not even a glance
I shout - then nothing - so I begin to advance
My rhythm increases as I hurry the path
Towards the vulture, and his venison bath

As I am ten steps away, the vulture turns
To look at the raven among the ferns
Silent I stop, in pure disbelief
That the vulture still has not noticed me

The anger - it boils and bakes my mind
As I begin to sprint, right at the vulture in sight
Two steps away, and the vulture takes leave
But still, he pay no attention to me.

I stare at the pile of red on the ground
My teeth are grinding, my hands still wound
For if I ever see a vulture again
I will ensure, I declare! It will come to its end.

I march away, with my lesson learned,
When I peer back and see the vulture returned
Not only one, but with three this time
No sound, no movement - still as a mime

My heart does not race
My anger takes haste
I leave the path, my rhythm is steady
For when I return - I will be ready.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/NG1ROLm83N

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/rbUVRNdsfL


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please Birdcage

11 Upvotes

She knelt in bed before the world, and with her fingers
traced the places I had marked
for a book I had read, or a dream
Her knees left twin divots in my mattress
for us to live in
And I pulled her down to me
to savor it, to say
 
Have you ever noticed that
it's all so much louder when you plug your ears?
A breath could bend a bird in flight
slam an open door
 
Her soft head grew heavy on the crook
of my arm, sent down needles
I spoke of nothing
that mattered

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/GLToH5AqD5

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7QDbuid2Re


r/OCPoetry • • 20h ago

Feedback Please We Were Supposed to Be Happy by Now

3 Upvotes

Pink Floyd said it best - “And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun“

Humans have a tendency to categorize events, moments, feelings.
Ups and downs,
good days and bad days,
good weather, bad weather.

We wait for a huge moment, the next vacation, the next achievement or job promotion.

But if we always walk around, waiting for the next up, and waiting for the down to end, we will always find a way to disappoint ourselves, to expect more.

We will forget to live, to experience life.
We will miss the starting gun.

If we always expect more of tomorrow than we ask of today, we will inevitably wait for something that never comes.

If tomorrow must always be better than today, we will never have our best day.
Because tomorrow will always be better.
And if tomorrow isn’t better, the day after will be.

But maybe life isn’t about identifying good things and bad things, but rather experiencing what life has to give.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________
I wrote this, along with a different piece because i've recently experienced some things in my life which have shaken up my perspective.
This is my first work i actually show to others, hope you like it!
LINKS:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wrvipy/comment/pgtdxxs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wmwgl4/comment/pgteauf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please The Trial

8 Upvotes

I put it on trial.

Word by word.
Line by line.

No applause.
No benefit of doubt.

Do you earn placement
or are you just flowers

Do you carry weight
or hide behind the rhyme

Asked until it broke
or held.

Some lines sounding grand
but fail.

Some lines ordinary
yet stay.

I reach for sharper
and find dull.

I reach for louder
and lose voice. 

I leave it.

Every word
that is standing,
not untouched,
refused to move

not improved,
acquitted.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5cfpd/comment/pgrq26z/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5p4p4/comment/pgrsvtf/


r/OCPoetry • • 18h ago

Just Sharing Rain

2 Upvotes

Thunder booms and lightning crashes

The sky opens up, pouring its misery out on the land

The trees shudder and brace for impact

The earth screams as it gets washed away

-

Worms flail helplessly in newly formed oceans

People scamper for cover from the wet bullets

Kids watch the battle from the windows

Zeus smiles down at his creation

-

And suddenly, it’s over

The sun peaks out from behind its cloudy blinds

The day resumes, but better than before

Somehow, the heavenly catharsis has become our own
-

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x69kbz/comment/pgtul2l/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x677c9/comment/pgt62l7/?context=3


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please I Miss The Rain

6 Upvotes

I miss the rain
I miss the mundane pain
I miss the mistakes
I miss the calm sound of the lakes 
I miss feeling whole
I miss knowing my role
I miss having wonder
I miss crashing thunder 
I miss bright colours
I miss hearing the others

I’ve let it all go
I’ve not avoided the overflow 
I’ve buried myself deep
I’ve sold it all dirt cheap
I’ve been numb to the strain
I’ve been lost in a hurricane
I’ve left feeling drowned
I’ve remained earthbound
I’ve nothing left to tend
I’ve wondered where it will end

I miss me

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5y02k/comment/pgrzdes/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x6394i/comment/pgryfxb/?context=3


r/OCPoetry • • 19h ago

Feedback Please Curry. Coffee, and Katsu

2 Upvotes

Get out of the kitchen
Before I get angry
Sinew tearing
Raw chicken pastry

Pressure’s rising
Pressure’s rising
Steam is building
Circuits firing

Leave the dream behind
Brown sauce and rice
Fridge your life
Fridge your life

Microwave away
Will you be saved?
It’s better the next day
Better the next day

Keep telling me, telling me
It’s better the next day
Fibers ripping
Crispy chicken

Lay it on top
A beautiful lie
That’s breaded and fried
Breaded and fried

Choke it down
Ignoring the sound
Timer’s gone off
You can’t get enough

It’s better the next day
Better the next day
Better the next day
Better the next day

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x6ap9j/comment/pgttuqn/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x69kbz/comment/pgtuiqf/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 15h ago

Feedback Please what grief did

1 Upvotes

I was left bleeding
from an incision
starting at approximately my belly button
going all the way up to the tip of my chin.
underneath my split skin
my sternum was cracked
unsealed
leaving my heart exposed
blown open

I thought it was grief that did this
I was wrong
I know now what grief did but before I tell you
you should know
that grief didn’t cut me open
leaving my heart exposed
through a gaping hole in my chest
death did

grief was there before death blew me open
it sat on my chest making it hard to breathe
it gripped my throat making it impossible to swallow
tainted my food, made everything tasteless
grief was there when death blew me open
it did not jump in to stop the bleeding
it insisted I bleed out, let me scream and writhe,
and all the while
did not assure me that I would survive this

grief was there while blood pooled around me
and my heartbeat weakened
and it started to stitch me back up
but not in a way that made sense
like from the bottom to the top
or from the inside out

grief started sewing me up
somewhere along the surface
maybe at my chin
without offering to numb me
its first sutures were sloppy
deep
and came with agonizing pain
indescribable really

slowly, imperceptibly
the pain of grief’s needle dulled
or
maybe I got used to the sharpness
grief continued to place stitches along still open sections of my gash
moving seemingly randomly
a few here
a few there
sometimes hitting an especially sore spot
poking me, shocking me,
causing me to double over in anguish
and spend the morning curled up
on the kitchen floor

while grief placed its excruciating stitches along my abdomen
it tended to my fragmented heart.
with soft hands and a delicate touch
grief slowly and tenderly
pieced it back together
dusting gold along the jagged edges
and holding the newly empty chambers
with a thoughtful caution
never failing to remind me
that my insides will never look the same

grief has stayed close by
my life orbits around it
ironically, or not, just how I used to orbit around you
before death came and took you away
leaving me to bleed out
and grief to clean up
now, most of the time
grief is rather stoic
but sometimes I feel its breath on the back of my neck
sending shivers down my spine
and sometimes it jabs me in my wound
making me gasp and hold my sides together
and sometimes it reaches its whole hand in
splitting me back open
just for an hour
reminding me and my body of deaths final sentence
leaving me in a puddle of my own salty tears
and then rubbing my back to sleep

grief suffocated me before death’s violent attack and
grief achingly knit my skin back together
and grief carefully jigsawed the pieces of my heart
but
what grief didn’t do
was wire my shattered breastbone back together
no
grief left my chest wall soft
permeable
allowing the outside in
and the inside out
leaving me with a body in an unrecognizable shape
the newness of which
I am still getting to know

---

1|2


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please Ymir

5 Upvotes

Ive seen the face poking out of them clouds up there yonder

You say there are too many words

But there are not enough to describe that face

It imposes hollow eyes like something tribal

It tells me to question my whole life

friend and rival

It beams out from between thick crusts of abandoned cloud

It begs no pathetic collective it is whole except for a nose that doesn't fit

It promises rain and truth and strife and peace and god and then maybe some death

It promises those deep greys that scream flood flood from the bewitched sky face

It grusses the mountain and lets loose on the lowland

That face all pale and wiggly unapologetic fully fully that deiety

Some nestle in their coziest corners blanketed and deafened

Others seek the beginning of those inevitable thunder like drums

The ones the boom and hug the soul

The ones that emit fortune and wrath simultaneously

uncanny gloom building itself and the face still smirks

My spirit dances up there in the chaos

let me have mine these thoughts quasi furled dream unfolding

Hands go up and down with the deluge the face looms again

The smile and eyes wash the tarmac rearrange these streets

Torrential relentless, dragging what doesnt belong

Robbing its essence, as that thing did the city when the city was dry

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x63zyo/comment/pgs0z4z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x61bwi/comment/pgs1k3q/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 21h ago

Feedback Please Jazz

2 Upvotes

It is almost

Impossible

to have too few notes..

But it is real easy to have too many.

Now see,

hold that up

and look at it

take your time

try to read it like

you listen to the notes

that don't get played

If it ain't there

Just wait

Let's face it

you ain't goin'

nowhere

It can't find you.

++++++++++++++++++

Man, you have to ask what it is,

you'll never get it

Louis Armstrong

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x677c9/so_my_final_act/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5yj2i/all_is_good/

06/06/14

Listen to some Coltrane

...and philosophize