r/OCPoetry • u/bstunz • 1d ago

Feedback Please The Trial

I put it on trial.

Word by word.
Line by line.

No applause.
No benefit of doubt.

Do you earn placement
or are you just flowers

Do you carry weight
or hide behind the rhyme

Asked until it broke
or held.

Some lines sounding grand
but fail.

Some lines ordinary
yet stay.

I reach for sharper
and find dull.

I reach for louder
and lose voice. 

I leave it.

Every word
that is standing,
not untouched,
refused to move

not improved,
acquitted.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5cfpd/comment/pgrq26z/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5p4p4/comment/pgrsvtf/

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/IamWhisper3319 21h ago

I like how it criticizes those grand looking poem but that are actually hollow

1

u/bstunz 21h ago

Thanks yeah, I hate the word criticize because I know how hard it is to write let alone put your work out there but yeah, that’s exactly what I did, lol. Thanks for the comment.

1

u/IamWhisper3319 21h ago

If you want you can check out my poem too I would love to read your feedback

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/R0y6ynvfbf

1

u/bstunz 21h ago

I’ll do it now