yay they’re ignoring me and laughing at me and rooting for me to finally do the whole world a favor and blow my brains out and then the world will be a better place without my fat ugly worthless ass in it

Sorry for my language but in every oractical thing I do I seem to be mentally challenged, I've already seen a therapist and did an iq test and adhd test but i'm gettinf so dejected.

I've been wanting to kill myself a long time and did one lousy attempt at gettinf isekaied while drunk through a portal ( a broken window) afterwich I cut my wrists and bled a lot as I was drunk.

Now I'm gonna be fired at yet another job after less than 2 weeks. I can see in their eyes that they really like me and want me to get it but I keep making the same mistake over and over. I finally started getting confident again tried and this just kills me. I did so my best I used to be really ugly, I took accutane even when I threw up blood and my skin peeled. I lost a lot of weight got in the gym fixed my hairloss really tried my best and got a good degree. But still I'm so depressed.

Its the incompetence i'm so incompetent I finally got rid of this terrible anxiety I had, I barely could go to the score without having the feeling bugs were digging in my skin, last week I felt it again. I've been drinking every week now but it has stopped making me happy now.

I dont knoe yesterday I was so sad and kept crying today still a bit, now I just feel numb and don't see the point. Somewhere I feel bad for my parents bht they should've brought me to a doctor ages ago, maybe when I was banging my head against the wall or started scratching and biting myself frankly. But idk they dont deserve all this.

Idk why I'm rambling I'm just mad that I lost the will to kill myself today. I uses to somewhat of an attempt everytime I got drunk 2 years ago but now no matter how much I drink I dont dare to chill on thr train tracks or anything

I just don't know what to do anymore.. most of my family just doesn't care about me and take me for granted. All the little things and big things I do for them and the don't even give me a thank you..

They treat me like trash and pretend it never happened.

They are so abusive and there is no escape I'm tired..

Honestly I don't know how much longer I can go with nobody really caring or wanting me :3

Im trying to make it through Christmas just to give the very few people that think of me fondly a good holiday before anything happens.

I'm sorry you should just ignore this^^

I have to give a link, because the post won't stay up here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalillness/s/qwyv8gBHgV

I have health issues and live with severe debilitating pain from arthritis and multiple herniated disks. Im disabled and unable to work and behind in life due to this. I live with my parents in a house with no air conditioning that's broken down with barely and food to eat most days but atleast i have a place to stay. I lost my health insurance due to turning 26. I have begged god to heal me for years and he won't. He doesn't care that i'm hurt he wants me to suffer. My pain gets more unbearable every day. I've missed out on life. I have severe mental health issues now from all the suffering. I've been through. Everyone hates me and treats me like shit and thinks im worthless for not being able to work. My family views me as a failure.

[M34] It’s been almost 10 years since you left me. our son is about to turn 12. I try to coparent with you, I try to have this normal life but deep inside me I still hate you for what you did. You left me without conversation, and the way you did it like I was worth nothing. You made me carry the weight alone. You told me recently you have been feeling suicidal, and I sit there, and I listen to you, and try to level with you, but you are remarried now, and every ounce of me just wants to say FUCK YOU, but I am not wired that way. No, I’m not perfect. Yes, I can be an asshole. I still care about you, god I shouldn’t, but I do. I need to get over you. I’ve been alone 10 years, keeping my head screwed on for our son, because somebody has to. My cup is running dry though.

There’s nothing left for me. I have to kill myself as soon as possible

i was assaulted the other night and the way i’m coping with it feels disgusting, is this a normal reaction? is something wrong with me

I'm 16M and I have a lot of hobbies and interests. I'm making progress in them. However I don't make money from any of them. I started my own brand a couple of months ago and fuck social media doesn't push my videos. I know and keep learning how to edit, create designs, sew, and more. That's not the main problem.

Every day I want to take my friend's shotgun and blow my brains out. First I think that I'm ugly as fuck. I'm slightly skinny, but idk it doesn't matter compared to my face. My brain is like an impulsive piece of shit. I don't even know what I want to do.

A few days ago, I saw a girl and was like "wow, she's cool I want to get to know her." The next day I was like "what the fuck, she's a strange bitch," and it repeats. Maybe my brain wants some fast dopamineand this is how it manifests.

My hands have been shaking my whole life. Sometimes the shaking gets worse. Maybe it's a symptom or something.

My first thought of suicide was at 10 because of my parents. I've been feeling depressed since the age of 12, but now this shit is getting out of hand. Also I don't have the best past, maybe this shit is dragging me down.

I've been feeling down lately and I have no idea what to do about it. I've been hurting myself more recently. I've been trying other things to distract myself but it's not working. I even been thinking about taking my own life this time. It might work this time. I might be happier. I might feel better. Maybe I won't have to feel this way anymore. I won't have to keep dragging myself down

I been trying to find a reason to why I shouldn't do it but I don't have one I'm just here walking around like a loser why can't I do it

I'm just too puss to do it how can a kid be brave enough to take their own but I can't I don't have nothing to lose so

(Skip to paragraph 3 about the cool DoorDash customer)

This year has been really hard on me. At the start of 2026, I had a decent paying job but like everything in my life , I eventually quit because I “couldn’t take it anymore”. Even though I was surrounded by many good people at work and even outside of work, I became too lax and thought that it if I took a break from work and “focused on my self” I would become the person that I wanted to be. Instead, I lost my job and ended up cooping myself up in my room for almost 3/4 of the day, and only leaving to go buy food or get drunk. (Which is something I’ve been doing since 2023 but smoking weed instead of drinking)

Now fast forward, it’s been 4 months since I had a job, and I’ve been relying on family and DoorDash just to satisfy my addictions. It’s so painful asking your parents or your younger siblings for “gas money” when you both know what you’re actually gonna do with the money.

Anyway, I’ve been door dashing a lot these past couple weeks and usually I never have conversations with customers. But a week ago, a customer complimented my car and asked if I had anything done to it. I awkwardly replied that it was stock and when I asked if he had anything done to it, he listed a bunch of things that was done to it. The second I went to my car, and drove off, I started crying so hard.

Not because he was “cooler” than me, but because I was planning on modding my car right before I quit my fucking job. And that hit me so hard. And today, some random guy helped me find a house and once we found it, he complimented my car outside and when I asked him what he had, he said “ just that precious Lexus over there”. I thanked him awkwardly while not even looking him in the eyes and just left. I didn’t even check what type of Lexus it was but I wish I could just talk with people ya know. I HATE MYSELF

Ever since I lost my job, I would always just drink whenever I felt down but now I’m just drunk and depressed. I fucking hate myself. I’m a failure. I don’t know how long I can keep lying to myself and distracting myself before I kill myself or just go insane. Probably not kill myself because I’m not strong enough but probably just ruin the rest of my life because of my actions.

I wish I was never the quiet kid and just embarrassed myself as a kid. Now I’m too afraid to even look people in eyes. FUCKKKKK. I wish I wish i wish…..

I don’t know how much longer I can keep up with this I hate myself I’m so damn ashamed of myself I just want to die there’s no use or point anymore in my life. I put so much effort into just getting through the day when it doesn’t even matter.

I’m sorry if it’s not enough information, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel sad all the time and I never feel like speaking up about it because when I had once done that I regret it immediately. I don’t look forward to anything anymore, aside from just dying and finally being free.

Why do I never feel good enough?

I just wanted to reach out and maybe get a few encouraging words. I want to remain anonymous on this one. My dream was always to get my music out there and have a world wide fan base. I spent the better part of the last decade making that happen. By the end of the year I will have close to if not accomplished my goal of having a million subscribers on my YouTube channel. I’m in amazing shape. I am extremely organized. I’m one of the best in the world at my chosen genre. I don’t have to go into an office 9-5. I just perform for 2 hours a day and have plenty of money to take care of whatever I need to. However, I wake up in the morning jolted by this feeling of just being a complete failure. I keep talking myself out of my success. I always say that I’m not getting enough likes or views on my videos. I spent so much time making this all happen that I’m so unbalanced when it comes to dating or friends. Anyway, I just wanted to vent. Thanks for hearing me out.

I have no future. No dreams. There is nothing to look forward to. I cling day by day on to my mother for food and to life because I refuse to give up. A few minutes ago, I received the news that I wouldn't be able to pursue my education. I can't work because of my legal status in this country I live in. I can not do anything. There is no place that I can truly call my home, and I am scorned upon in this place where I grew up in, who would know the difference between your birth place you determine so much what your life turns out to be. No country would welcome me. I am a parasite. Everything in this world seeks to get rid of me.

I used to have dreams and hopes. People would even envy me, but what good did they ever see in this one-way road that would amount to a dead end? I've long been tired of living, but why is it that now I want to live so much, and the world just keeps on rejecting me. It's suffocating me. I want to live so bad, but why is it that there's a rock attached at my waist stopping me from reaching the surface, and I sink deeper into the ocean day by day. Was there always a rock? Who attached thtis? Maybe it was always there since birth. Some people are born on the land and can walk freely. Others are born amidst the sea, but with enough effort, they can reach the shore. Why is it that the world has hated some people enough to put them in the middle of the sea and force them to drown with no way out? I thought I had been one of those people whose efforts could help them reach the shore, but all along, I didn't realise my efforts were futile and there was never a way for me to be like those I admire on the coast. I drown a little more each day, and the rock just becomes heavier. Why was I born to this fate? I want to live so much but I can't. I am a child drowning, a parasite striving to survive in a world that is not its own, clinging to life every single moment, but in the end, it just dies.

Hi for context I have always been a bit chubby a bit overweight my whole life. As a girl the extra pounds mean a lot and as a teen the extra 30-40 made the difference between fat and pretty. Now I’m 18 and it’s gotten bad again. Ever wonder if it could get worse. (Not downplaying anyone’s situation ik obviously there’s worse) try being depressed AND FAT. I have no motivation to do anything and do anything to feel that moment of happiness and the easiest for me is food. I’ve always loved food I was born into this world hungry.but now that I have all this stuff happening and this anxiety and depression and whatever else I have being fat has made it 10 times worse. Never gain weight guys. And I know I could lose it but I’m too lazy to make the first step for anything I feel disconnected from my body and the consequences as if it’s not me inside of this body it feels as if I’m spectating my own life just controlling a character like how else do I even explain this. I’ve neglected myself to the point where even trying to fix it feels so far.anyways just wanted to vent a bit. Not sure if it’s a result of my depression or if the weight resulted to the depression okay bye thanks for reading

I exercise 3x a week, i go to work, i help my mom financially, my house is always clean and i go on walks in nature at least once a week. I tried antidepressants, therapy, vitamins. I have a fiancé. I have friends. I have a family that loves me. The only thing that’s « wrong » in my life is that i can’t find a job in my field so as of rn i’m stuck in a low paying student job. But otherwise, i don’t have huge problems. I’m not sick, i have a roof, i have food. But i still wish i was never born. I don’t even know why i feel so much pain everyday. Atp I have the urge to drink alcohol just to stop thinking (i’m not alcoholic i drink like twice a year but lately that’s all i want to do)

My life is built meticulously piece by piece to be perfect. My two babies are beautiful and smart and silly. We have a house and just finished the basement and got solar. My job is interesting and challenging and makes the world a better place. I have two sweet kitties who love to snuggle and sit on laps and purr. I own supplies for 10 different hobbies and I spend my time making things.

Everything I built was designed to make me happy, but I'm not, and I really thought once I got here I would get better.

I just want to feel okay again

Hello, I’m nearly 41 now. Never been married or had kids. It was never for me. The last relationship I had was nearly a decade ago. I have zero interest in romantic relationships anymore. Rather just have a friend to talk to sometimes. Hang out and such. I work with a company that treats my race like shit. So I have zero prospects of getting ahead in my career. It’s hard to find another job lately. I have zero friends anymore because they’ve all passed away. I’m in constant chronic pain from some old injuries I had. Experiencing nerve pain 24/7 that on a good day is about a 4/10 on bad days it reaches 9/10. I have a brother who calls me down constantly and never treats me well because I feel he thinks he’s entitled to do whatever ever he wants because he thinks I was the favorite child. So I don’t deserve much. People at work treat me like shit too with a couple exceptions. I know more than most other people I work with yet they can get ahead in their careers yet I can’t. It’s been this way with the very very few people of my race that’s been hired there over the last 16 years. My mother lives with me because she’s disabled and needs help being taken care of. My brother doesn’t do much to help anyone but himself and he’s never even had a job. My life has always been shitty. People have always treated me like this. I know it partly because I’m in no way attractive whatsoever. But I’m also indigenous in Canada. Every time I fight back more people gang up on me and I know in some ways or some occasions I deserve it. I can be kinda an obnoxious ass. I feel like a dog that’s been treated horribly its whole life and only knows how to be awful and keep people at a distance. I’ve given up on a lot of things and people and society and all these broken systems that promise to be there and support and fight for people like me. I’ve seen people I loved and cared for die in front of me. I saw my first girlfriend and first good friend die. I was there when another friend decided to commit suicide in front of me. I’ve been through a lot.
What I hate is that I can be a very gentle and giving person. I’m a very passionate person too with many different interests and skills. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I think of ending it all just to spite my brother. I know I can’t and I won’t but that’s only because I care about my mother and don’t want to break her heart. But after she’s gone what’s the point of sticking around? I have a cat but I feel I need more. With all this being said is there ever a point in a person’s life where it could be acceptable to take their own life? I can’t change the world I can’t fix the systems put in place to help people like me and I can’t form relationships with people because I keep everyone at a distance to keep from further getting hurt. I’m incredibly damaged inside and out. I’m ugly af. I’m a race no one likes. I can barely talk to people. There’s literally no point anymore with anything. What should I do? After my mother passes what’s left?

I love to take 2 Benadryl and essentially sedate myself to sleep. Nothing beats it.

Probably because I hate my life

hello again. i feel like absolute shit.

last night i had a breakdown in front of my mom and she had one too. i feel absolutely terrible for putting all that weight on her, all of the bad emotions she must go through for having a daughter like this, even though i know it's inevitable when you love someone, especially if they're your child.

i don't know anymore man. i've struggled with depression for almost a decade. lately it's just been terrible. i'm trying my best to keep living a relatively normal life but i feel like i'm fucking up everything, all the opportunities i get just because i feel like absolute shit and have no motivation/energy to really do anything.

well i guess i just wanted to let this out. hope i can just sleep again as soon as possible.

My depression is coming back with a vengeance this time. I'm older and uglier and lonely as ever. I can't make ends meet. I hate myself. Food tastes bad. I wish I could sleep forever.

I cannot bring myself to care about the future, I cannot bring myself to dig for hope.

My mother has said all my life that she doesn't believe in beating children, her mother or father never did it so why should she? One month ago, my mother beat me. She raised her hands at me, she scratched me, she hit me. I met her when I was 7 years old following the passing of my Grandmother and the ushering of her marriage to my Stepdad. We have never bonded, in my 20 years of life I do not think we have ever spent a day together with just each other. I've been plagued with the awareness of her indifference through the subtlety of actions that come with being the odd one out. The last piece of bread no one wants to touch, the wet food that sticks to the sink when you finish washing dishes. I have spent the duration of my short life believing wholeheartedly I was not meant to be loved. So when my mother raised her hands to do the very thing she swore she wouldn't do to her children, hit them, that subconscious belief rose up to the surface and has consumed me since. The hitting corroborated the truth I didn't want to believe, my own mother does not see me as her child.

My biological father left me and upon searching for and finding him, he rejected me again. My teenage years were spent being assaulted by my Stepfather. He took my virginity, my first experiences. He took my body from me. In high school I never spoke, I became a recluse and had not a single friend. Except one, my best friend who I confided in with everything. We started developing feelings for one another and with my belief that I was unworthy of love I was cruel to him and cut him off completely, I ran away.

I decided I would be different and grow up, I decided college would be a change and for a while it was. New friends, new experiences, new knowledge. But coming home everything I've tried so hard to get over would make its way back to me. All the feelings of rejection, the feeling of my own body being violated, the deep desire to love and the regret of pushing away people I love, it came back to me with every hit and every scratch my mother inflicted on my body.

I've been plagued with nightmares that she's waiting for me to sleep so she can kill me. I spend the day having flashbacks of all the things I did out of insecurity and hatred of my own self that I wish I could take back. And I hate myself for being vulnerable enough to be taken advantage of, it's always felt like a stain I could never wash away. These past few weeks I realized I am not one of the strong ones. And most importantly I realized my desire the fire that led me to hope and believe I could change after high school has been extinguished. My cowardice holds me back now and the questions, who, what, when, where, how? The how the big fat how. How to lay down and sleep and rest and release myself of this heaviness around my shoulders called life? What is the purpose of this? Who sent me here? Where can I leave? When should I leave?

I do not have the energy to hope anymore. I cannot dig for it. I cannot bring myself to care about the future. I simply wish to be at peace now.

it's my brain,i get too tired with life's basic demands like securing internships, going to work day in day out.

people suffer but can do these like on autopilot

but somehow it feels too overwhelming for my body and mind. i would rather not exist.

I don't know if I am your typical person. I live in a comfortable position, make decent enough money so I can afford my food and shelter...I have a few people around me. I still am hitting lows I haven't seen in years. I just envy those who can act bubbly, as I was always a more serious/sensitive type. I know there are people out there suffering more than me and I feel everything I complain about is such a first world issue. I really have what feels like nothing to live for and put hope in some fact that someone will pull me ashore and save me, but the logical part knows that isn't true. In the scheme of life, I have it pretty grand. I still dream about dying and hoping I do. Fear is what stopped me. Everytime I feel these feelings, I feel guilt in wanting to die, and I wish I could trade someone for their suffering. I feel like a waste of what benefits I have been offered in life.

Some of this may be unresolved and repressed feelings, but I know I haven't had it as bad as friends who have told me their life stories, so what do I truly have to complain about? Having these feelings, these idealizations just to be a waste of potential. "Everyone has problems" never works, cause I can weigh the honesty behind it.

At this point I feel guilt about wasting my youth, and now I wonder what's the point of it all.