It drove my sister nuts.

To get to the idiots house.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The chicken you idiot!

He hit his KraTOES on the table.

One says to the other: do you know how to drive this thing?

Wife - What makes you say that?

Husband - He’s been miserable lately.

I don’t know, usually I am asleep at that time

I wasn’t even listening

Mom - why would I pick you?

I am not here to impress a mentally ill child

That’s where it always rains

Because they rot quickly.

Dragula

I lost in the first round. I didn't do well!

"Knockwurst, lock broken"

I asked him "Where do you think they get #2 pencils?"

Okay, maybe Napoleon didn't design his coat. But he definitely had a hand in it.

He said it had progressed into eleventitis

Me: 0mg

It was a Jim, Jimothy, Jim, Jimothy, Jim, Jim jury.

They dot their t's and cross their i's

This just now happened...

Went into O'Reilly for brake pads. Guy at the counter said, "What are you needing today?"

I said, "I need brake pads."

He got his fingers on the keyboard and said, "OK, what's it for?"

I said, "It helps your car stop."

To get to the other seed!

...because you cant C in the dark