Wife - What makes you say that?

Husband - He’s been miserable lately.

He hit his KraTOES on the table.

G-sus.

...because you cant C in the dark

They dot their t's and cross their i's

A waist of time

Low GI

She gave me a recipe but I told her that still won’t help.

She asked why, and I said that if it’s bean salad, I need to know what you want it to become next.

To get to the other seed!

My wife: Carrie

The ears

A receding hare line!

Doc said he would be right back and told me to get undressed. He never told me to stay in exam room.

Mom - why would I pick you?

A Guyknowballogist.

Because they rot quickly.

Someone calls her on the phone…. It has the ring of an old Samsung……..
I look over to see who is calling…… (you are me in this situation) she says “oh it’s just Mr potential last name scam” …….. aitah…..?

"Knockwurst, lock broken"

Okay, maybe Napoleon didn't design his coat. But he definitely had a hand in it.

She replied, “Um… yeah, sure.”

The potatoes are not sent up whole, but are sliced into pieces which are sent up and known as “space-chips”.

I said "Of course, you can always count on me".

It was offal

Oh well 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.