r/CautiousBB • • 20d ago

MOD MESSAGE/ANNOUNCEMENT Community feedback needed (please vote)

12 Upvotes

Hi all,

Our mod team was recently approached by BetterHelp, an online subscription-based therapy provider, to do an AMA within our subreddit by a licensed therapist that specializes in child loss, perinatal mental health, and anxiety. They are willing to provide credentials to our mod team to verify the individual responding to questions, but our team has reached a moral impasse that we need the community to weigh in on.

Up until now, our team has had a blanket rule to not allow any companies, researchers, institutions, or anyone else with private interests to post within our community because our space is filled with so many vulnerable humans going through extremely difficult situations. The fertility space, in general, is ripe with opportunity for those that might take advantage of this vulnerability, much less a space like ours. That said, the message they sent was clearly written very thoughtfully, and the provider they’re willing to assign to the AMA would be willing to answer people’s questions about their worries, maybe provide healthy coping mechanisms, and describe the subspecialties of therapy that could be most beneficial to the people here.

IF we allow this AMA, it needs to be with the majority support of our community, so we are opening a poll for feedback. Other than voting in the poll, upvoting this post and providing even a short comment with your thoughts/concerns/ideas would help boost the visibility of this announcement to the maximum amount of sub members.

Of course, the major issue for us as a mod team is that we are NOT endorsing BetterHelp as a specific company or resource. For folks that are in areas where they aren’t able to find an in person provider, online therapy through any number of companies may be helpful. We are not partnering with them and the language in the AMA will be very clear about that. We will also be making sure that the provider answering questions in the AMA does not promote the BetterHelp brand.

If you’ve read this long, thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate how the people of this community come together to support one another and are grateful to help moderate.

Would you be interested in and supportive of an AMA provided by a therapist from BetterHelp, with the limitations outlined above?

116 votes, 17d ago
18 Yes
90 No
8 Maybe, but I have concerns (outline in comments)

r/CautiousBB • • Jan 27 '26

Ultrasound FAQ Reference Guide

99 Upvotes

As an OBGYN ultrasound tech working at the general level here's a few things I would love the community to know based on common questions I see.

Most important rule of thumb: Worry when your doctor tells you to.

OBGYN docs are going to pay the most attention to the fetal pole and heart rate. Once a fetal pole is seen, the CRL (crown rump length) measurements are gold standard.

I'm worried about the heart rate:
-Check out this resource for pregnancies dating less than 7 weeks. Make sure to refer not to your LMP dates, but measured CRL dates: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/fetal-bradycardia?lang=us
-After 7 weeks a normal heartrate is between 120-180. It can temporarily dip below or temporarily rise above this range, but prolonged time above/below will definitely get your doctor's attention especially in third trimester. Generally out of range heart rates trigger NST (non stress test) or more monitoring.
The measurements are off:
Baby measures behind LMP. This is actually pretty common, we often see dates off up to a week either direction. We don't ovulate on the exact same day of the cycle each month or even have the same length of cycle. With irregular periods, PCOS, or unknown dates even larger gaps can be perfectly fine. If you aren't sure of your dates, trust the ultrasound. Even if you are sure of your dates, don't panic if they are a week off. Ultrasound measurements in early pregnancy are +/- 5 days.
I'm in limbo and don't know if my ultrasounds are diagnostic for loss:
By ultrasound there are strict parameters to diagnose loss. No one wants to get this wrong. Check out this resource for a list of parameters diagnostic for loss: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy-loss-1?lang=us
Note, there is a second list of "suspicious for loss". Keep in mind the second list is not diagnostic, things can still turn out just fine.
I don't know when I should see what on ultrasound:
Things can vary a bit from person to person and do change *quickly* in early pregnancy. Check out this resource for what you can generally expect to see:
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy?lang=us
Should I go to a boutique or get a private scan? Or push for an earlier scan?
They aren't legal where I am but here's a few things to consider if you plan to book a private scan. First, what are the qualifications of the person running the ultrasound? An ultrasound is only as good as the one performing it. It sounds as if these boutiques are NOT permitted to give much/any information. Will you spiral if you believe you see bad news and they cannot confirm or deny it? Also it seems that many cannot do vaginal ultrasound, which will make seeing a baby under 7 or 8 weeks challenging. If I had the option of a boutique ultrasound I would personally wait until 8 weeks and I would book it for a weekday. If they see something bad, it is not ideal to find out over a weekend when there is no option to follow up with your doc. An earlier scan often causes more anxiety, not less. It's SO hard to wait. But if you can tolerate it wait until 8 weeks or so.
The gestation sac is small/big:
-Gestation sac measurements are not terrifically accurate. Where I work once a baby is seen the gestation sac isn't measured. A mismatch between baby's size and the gestation sac size isn't uncommon. That said, a mean sac diameter of 25 mm or more without a baby is diagnostic for loss.
The yolk sac is small/big:
It starts teeny tiny, and will get a bit bigger. Once a baby with a good heartbeat is visualized, the docs I work for don't seem to care about the size of the yolk sac. A failed pregnancy with an expanded yolk sac (more than 6 mm) is a suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities.
We don't know where the pregnancy is:
The statistically most likely outcome is either a chemical pregnancy or just coming in for ultrasound too early for visualization. Ectopic can't be ruled out, and many wise ladies in the this sub have unfortunately experienced this and can give more info than I can. Statistically it's believed that only 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic, but listen to your body. If the location is unknown, you should be getting close monitoring and follow up until the location is known or the pregnancy has ended.
-For a resource on ectopic pregnancy: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/ectopic-pregnancy?lang=us A note, a pseudosac is visualized in only 10-20% of ectopics. Therefore a sac in the uterus is suggestive of intrauterine pregnancy but can't be proven until a yolk sac is also present.
What about my HCG numbers?
I'm not an expert on this at all. But here's a resource: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/beta-hcg-1?lang=us
Why didn't my ultrasound tech tell me anything? And/or why were they so optimistic? Or, I had an ultrasound in the ER and they were very pessimistic.
Many locations an ultrasound tech can very much lose their job if they say aNyThInG. Where they are permitted to say certain things some ultrasound techs may just be hoping the best. We work with the public and we have seen some wild stuff. Additionally no one wants to call it a loss unless its 1000% certain. We know how devastating that news is. A side note here, often an ultrasound in the ER is not an ideal experience for the patient. The ER is staffed with techs that are much more versed in gallbladder and liver scans than they they are early pregnancy ultrasound. Don't hesitate to go the ER if you are having concerning symptoms, but do know the ER doc will make sure you aren't actively dying then will likely refer you back to your OB for follow up.
I'm just so anxious about it all:
Someone awesome wrote out these mantras. Maybe they will help: https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/14uhbdg/commandments_of_pregnancy_after_loss_this_is_now/
Also a podcast I personally found very helpful with anxiety: https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-1/
https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-2/

Today you are pregnant and this baby is so loved. I really am hoping the best for each of you. Those of us who have experienced loss.... you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. This is a club no one deserved to be in. And you are not silly, foolish, or dramatic for grieving your little babe for as long as you need to.

This post is written in honor of Eli, who died long before I could meet him. Rest in peace, buddy. I miss you tremendously ❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Advice Needed Has anyone bled after sex and had a healthy baby?

3 Upvotes

I’m about 10 weeks pregnant and my partner and I have been having sex throughout my pregnancy.

Last night, after we finished, I noticed blood when I wiped (with one tiny clot, about the circumference of a pea). This morning, I’ve had a tiny bit of brown blood when I wipe but don’t seem to be actively bleeding.

Basically just looking for reassurance this has happened to some of you - who have then gone on to have healthy babies!


r/CautiousBB • • 40m ago

Ansia da beta

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• Upvotes

Ciao a tutte,

Sono a 17dpt5dt di un 4BB. Ho un andamento di raddoppio lento e fino ad ora ho visto storie di andamento lenti solo con numeri più piccoli e che poi aumentano velocemente successivamente, il mio è relativamente alto e non riesco a sperare più in un raddoppio che si velocizza. A 15dpt ero a 476 e oggi a 17dpt sono a 816. Cerco storie positive per avere un po di conforto e speranza 😔 vengo anche da un passato di 3 aborti, quindi non sono per nulla tranquilla.


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Positive pregnancy test, negative blood test, then an 8-day late period — looking for similar experiences ❤️

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• Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Advice Needed Sch experience?

1 Upvotes

I went to the er for brown spotting. There’s an isoechoic sch measuring .61x.64x2.3cm. The day I was discharged from the hospital I’ve been having little brown clots. I assumed it was the spotting mixing with the gel from the tv ultrasound, but 2 days later and it’s still little brown clots.
Has anyone with sch experienced this? I have little to no cramps, my cramps were the most intense the day I went to the er, that’s it. No pink/red blood, just brown spotting/clots and only when I wipe.
I’m 6w1d. Everything with little bean is healthy! It’s just the sch that worries me, as I have a history of losses.


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Ureaplasma parvum

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Low HCG at around 16 DPO (71 at 4w2d) — looking for experiences and some hope - beta hell sucks!!!

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for experiences from anyone who has had low starting HCG levels and gone on to have a successful pregnancy.

My LMP was 16 September, and I think I ovulated around CD15 (but wasn't tracking properly, just estimating). I'm currently CD31, so approximately 16 DPO / 4w2d.

My HCG results have been:

  • Monday: 12
  • Wednesday (around 48 hours later): 43
  • Friday morning (around 44–45 hours later): 71

I was initially really encouraged by the rise from 12 to 43, but I'm feeling worried about the latest result. It has risen by around 65% from 43 to 71, but hasn't doubled. I'm also concerned that the absolute level is low for my estimated dates, as I've read that the average HCG at 4 weeks is around 140.

I've previously had a chemical pregnancy in May this year where my HCG only went from 33 to 38, so I'm finding it difficult not to assume the same thing is happening again. This time the numbers have risen more substantially, but the slower increase on the latest test has really knocked my confidence.

I know everyone's experience is different and that HCG trends can't guarantee an outcome, but I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who started with low levels.

Did your HCG start low? How did it progress, and what was the outcome? Honestly I wish I never tested in the first place as I think I caught it real early! Beta hell is the worst. My tests have darkened over the last week or so.

With my first, I just did a pregnancy test and went on naively with the rest of my journey - oh how lucky I was, and I am so grateful for it!

Thank you v much ❤️ Baby dust to all


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed First pregnancy following ectopic

1 Upvotes

I’m currently 13DPO, 4w1d pregnant - my first pregnancy since my ectopic back in April and I am TERRIFIED!

This is only my second time pregnant and I have been spotting very light brown since yesterday and mild cramping since 9DPO but otherwise feel fine and my test lines are continuing to darken (I hope at the right rate).

Is anyone else around the same time or has also experienced spotting this early on? I feel fine otherwise, have betas scheduled for next week and I’m really hoping it’ll be okay 🤞🏼


r/CautiousBB • • 7h ago

I’m worried about the results

1 Upvotes

I have really late periods but I tracked my ovulation this time and found out my lh peaked on August 30th (lmp was July 29th). My husband and I got together that night once until I found out I got pregnant at 11DPO

Last week I had spotting and then it got frequent. I thought I was 7 weeks or so but the scan showed 6weeks, gestational sac, yolk sac and fetal pole measured 3mm with no heartbeat. Doc referred me to a gynecologist but my appointment is until next week Tuesday.

However today Oct 15th I had more bleeding, bright red blood and dark thick blood. Went to the hospital, did transvaginal scan and fetal pole measured same size with no heartbeat at 7 weeks.

Should I be worried? Is it possible for my baby to grow and an heartbeat detected at 8 weeks during my next appointment?

Thank you


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Thought I was 6 weeks 1 day but “possible sac” found that’s measuring 5 weeks 2 days

1 Upvotes

Yesterday I had an early ultrasound at what we thought would be 6+1. My OB had some trouble finding anything but then found what she called a possible sac that measured 5+2. I’m so confused because based on all my dates that just seems wrong and I’m worried because I’ve already had 2 early losses this year.

Dates in question:

LMP 8/24

Positive LH on 9/14, app logged ovulation for 9/15

9/26 very faint positive

9/30 hcg 88

10/2 hcg 178

10/14 (at my appt) hcg 3680

I have an ultrasound next week but I am stressed. Anybody else have experience with dates that just don’t seem to add up?


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

High HCG then slight decline-Thoughts ?

1 Upvotes

Hi,

I recently confirmed pregnancy on Sept.25th and looking like 5/6 weeks. On Oct.1st I took first hcg and it was 383, then 3 days later 2nd hcg at 2834. Which was a big rise more than doubled. Finally got in with my clinic and ran another HCG at 8/13 and it had only rose up to 3874, then dropped to 3462 on 8/15. A little worried but curious to know peoples experiences more on the positive end ❤️ ty in advance


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

ttc after loss

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

6w4, heart rate of 81, no growth

1 Upvotes

I'm miserable.

Went into ER at 6w1d for spotting and cramping, embryo's heart rate was 73 and measured 6w2d. Follow up at OB at 6w4 and heart rate was 91, and baby measured 6w1.

I feel it's pretty hopeless, especially given my history of 4 losses. My OB was acting like this was all fine and within margin of error. The studies I found say we have <5% chance of making it, some say 0.

Has anyone been through something similar? When did it resolve?


r/CautiousBB • • 16h ago

Devastated in limbo right now.

3 Upvotes

I’ve posted recently about my HCG. I started heavily bleeding and passing tissue this week. I went in for an ultrasound and baby is measuring 11 days behind. I’m 7 weeks 4 days right now but it’s measuring 11 days behind that.

They saw a tiny flicker of the heartbeat trying to start. I’m even more devastated now since I saw that. i probably will try to prepare for a full miscarriage 😭


r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

TW/TMI Positive stories only bleeding, low beta

1 Upvotes

TW: bleeding, mention of previous miscarriage

I need any positive stories out there
IVF pregnancy fresh transfer, progesterone 2 weeks 3x a day pessaries (stopped at 9dp5dt as only 2 week dose)
4dp5dt - 8dp5dt Spotting when wiping
6dp5dt Tested positive
9dp5dt - 12dp5dt Active red bleeding tiny clots and mild cramps
10dp5dt beta 46
12dp5dt beta: TBC
13dp5dt woke up with nausea, bleeding stopped is now just spotting when wiping
My FRER and Wondflo tests are getting darker but still pink rather than the dark colour of control line - I understand that beta is where it will be confirmed if this pregnancy is continuing.

Has anyone had 8 days of spotting/bleeding, and low betas and had a positive outcome? Appreciate I’m looking for a unicorn here and I am probably having a chemical but I just don’t know what to do while in beta hell 😭 had a 6w miscarriage in March this year and that was no bleeding, beta slow rise then drop, then 2-3 days of heavy clot bleeding then nothing so different to this.


r/CautiousBB • • 11h ago

TW/TMI 5 weeks and pink discharge

1 Upvotes

5 weeks today and noticed a pinky discharge when I wiped yesterday. Had a good cry last night as I had a mc this time last year. Put a pad on overnight and woke up this morning to nothing on it, only notice it if I literally shove a bit of toilet paper up there 🙃 it's more pinky/brown and no red whatsoever. I feel like my symptoms are non-existent atm. Apart from feeling tired, my boobs are no longer sore. I do have a bit of cramping, which I've had since the beginning...

I've booked an appointment with a random gp this afternoon to hopefully get a blood test taken.

But I'm just freaking out that it's happening again


r/CautiousBB • • 11h ago

Advice Needed Large SCH, embryo 3 days behind, heartbeat seen (6w5d, FET). Similar stories?

1 Upvotes

FET with a euploid 5AA, strong betas. I have adenomyosis and an intramural fibroid, and did 2 months of Lupron depot suppression beforehand.

5w4d: Moderate bleeding. Ultrasound showed an SCH the size of the gestational sac. Heartbeat flicker seen.

6w5d: SCH still as big and sac size is smaller than desired (I think), heartbeat still there, embryo measuring 3 days behind. Doctor said 50% miscarriage risk and that blood supply may be insufficient due to SCH and/or adenomyosis/fibroid.

Beta HCG still high at 95,341. Progesterone & Estrogen levels also look good.

Has anyone had a large SCH and a lagging embryo with a heartbeat and still ended up with a healthy baby? Did your baby catch up on growth? Any success stories are welcome. Thank you.


r/CautiousBB • • 12h ago

Advice Needed Hcg more than tripled

0 Upvotes

I’ve had 3 clinical miscarriages and a handful of chemical pregnancies. My most recent miscarriages were 2 back to back and most recent was a suspected (not confirmed) ectopic pregnancy.
I ovulated much earlier than usual this cycle and unexpectedly got pregnant. I’m about 11-12 dpo and have have 2 hcg betas done in 48 hours.

My first beta was 22 and today (48 hours later) it more than tripled to 77. I’m obviously happy even though it’s still so early to get excited but wondering if anyone has experienced a big jump like this early on and if it was a singleton pregnancy or possibly a twin pregnancy?


r/CautiousBB • • 12h ago

Early pregnancy?

1 Upvotes

Looking for anyone who has been in similar situations. I’ve been going in for HCGs for the last 4 weeks. At first they dropped and I bled so we thought miscarriage. My levels have since risen but not the normal doubling. I know I know doesn’t sound like it’s a viable pregnancy. I finally got an ultrasound done Monday. There is a normal looking gestational sac measuring 5 weeks 1 day. The doctor originally thought it was retained product from miscarriage and still feels that way but he knows how hopeful I am so we are doing another ultrasound in 2 weeks to see for sure is this viable or not. Obviously it’s too early to see heartbeat or fetal pole at 5 weeks.

I’m just curious if anyone has been in a similar situation that ended up with a healthy pregnancy? This would be my 3rd miscarriage, TTC for 2 years so I’m realistic but obviously there’s a tiny bit of hope there TIA!


r/CautiousBB • • 19h ago

Advice Needed Bleeding after yoga class

3 Upvotes

5w pregnant today, I was feeling physically well so I decided to take a class. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and wiped some blood. Freaked out, went home and had more bleeding. I am trying to keep my head on straight but after a mc last month I am feeling really triggered. The class was very twist heavy, and there was a lot of time spent in the prone position.


r/CautiousBB • • 17h ago

Advice Needed Was hoping someone could relate to hcg numbers to ease my brain!

2 Upvotes

October 7 - hcg was 2 (9dpo)
October 9 - hcg was 12 (11 dpo)
October 12 - hcg was 84 (14 dpo)
October 14 - hcg was 206 (16 dpo)

I am nervous because I had two previous back to back losses, mmc at 7-8 weeks.
Both of them had numbers rising and doubling, but BARELY doubling. Numbers were low. So these numbers are scaring me even though all the calculators/people are saying “it doubled, it’s fine!” Because so did my losses 🫠😔
Most I see that had hcg drawn at 16 dpo, it was much higher than mine. I was hoping to at least be in the 300’s. I got my first faint positive at 11dpo. That means I implanted at the right time, correct? I’ve read if you implant later, it usually results in loss.
I hate not being able to be excited cause I’m so nervous! I go back for another draw tomorrow and am praying it has more than doubled.

Anyone have any insight to ease my anxiety? Thanks!


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Odd shaped gestational sac

1 Upvotes

See comments for picture pls. I’m supposed to be 5w2d (based on IUI so timing is accurate) and my sac measured 6w2d and the margins were very irregular. Yolk sac was seen just not in the image below.


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

High AFP more than 5 MOM

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1 Upvotes

Hello!
I’m 39 years old, and this is my third pregnancy.
I had my AFP test at 16 weeks, and my result was 251.80 ng/mL (5.77 MoM). My test came back positive for neural tube defects.
My ultrasound is in 5 days, and I’m very worried.
Has anyone had AFP this high? Was everything okay with your baby?
I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, both good and bad.
Thank you!


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Advice Needed Betas lower than successful pregnancy

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone - I am currently waiting on my 6.5w scan and freaking out a little over my betas. My first pregnancy had much higher numbers, but my doctors don’t seem concerned because it’s increasing and doubling at an appropriate rate. Thoughts?

10 dpo - very, very faint line in the evening
13 dpo - 29
17 dpo - 205
20 dpo - 782
24 dpo - 2719

For context, my successful pregnancy was:
10 dpo - very faint line in evening
17 dpo - 550
20 dpo - 1367

I’ve had two MCs (one MMC and one 6w loss) so I’m very anxious! Thoughts?