For me I think it is lying in bed with my wife. We have been married 25 years. I love the sleepy comfort of our legs touching and the slow breathes that show her chest rise and fall. It is clean and warm.

Describe the safest place in the world for you?

i hadnt seen a few of my friends in a long time and i was actually excited. one of them has been my best friend since school, we did everything together, she felt like a sister. they came to my house, they were all employed, and for the whole ten minutes they were there it was jokes and digs about me not having a job

the part that got me is that it was her who started it. the one i trusted the most

and ive been noticing things for a few months now. i tell them everything, even tiny news, and they hide basically everything from me. relationships, work, all of it. i just thought we were close

now i cant stop going back over every nice thing any of them ever said to me and wondering if any of it was real. being unemployed already makes me feel low and today made it feel like thats how everyone sees me

has anyone had a friend show you a side of themselves you didnt know was there. how did you deal with it

Specifically the casual encounter section. And the m4m section. Probably late 2000s to early 2010s, and at some point Craig removed those sections. I can’t remember why they removed that section. Such a bummer cause that was such a fun time just as the internet was really fast pace to being super mainstream with the launch of the smartphone and all. Did anyone ever read those sections m4f, m4m, w4w and the rest of them? Did anyone else ever meet up for some casual fun? Or complete anon or anything like that? Sure wish Craig would bring that section back.

...Reddit and other such places will be filled with people with Alzheimer's. Expect an onslaught of reposts, nonsensical comments and self replies. Forever.

What is happiness for you?

i would be happy if you could tell me

I think that my happiness is not money, I think that it is health and human relations

I try my best to not show my 5 & 4 year old that deep down, I am fighting for my life. I go to work everyday to “try” to provide for them & get us out of this mess that their father put us in. We finally should be out of this Women’s shelter tomorrow & I should be happy but the feeling of not failing them is always in the back of my head.

We have started completely over except the 4 bags we brought with us. My 5 year old has been adjusting to his new school for a couple of weeks now and everything has been going okay for the most part. One of his classmates mom gave me an invitation after school yesterday for her son’s birthday party Saturday. It’s at a trampoline park . He was so excited to tell me about it & that’s all his friends were talking about it. Leave it to me to let him know that we most likely won’t be able to go because I simply can’t afford it. I’m barely keeping my head above water. We are visiting food pantries almost daily, what little money I make has gone into this apartment, I’ve been wearing the same tennis shoes from the Goodwill for the past few weeks because I can’t purchase a decent pair. I HATE disappointing my kids. They deserve the world, especially with what they have gone through.

We have court next week & I have to see their father’s face… he filed a motion for a custody agreement but I doubt that will be granted after we show the judge the police documents & hospital bill where he broke my nose. I’m trying to survive. I want to make sure my babies know that we will be okay soon. It’s just rough right now.

What if instead of girls feeling scared to go outside because of creeps, we make creeps scared to go outside instead? Every creep you meet, make them feel so uncomfortable that they don't want to talk to you again. Shun them, and insult them.

Im kinda selfish I think... so I'll start with that... but im not completely selfish because I do think about other people, that is where I am stuck.

Sometimes, I just want to move me, my husband, and two daughters across the united states and start over because im so tired of having to think about other people in my decisions. Im tired of people always thinking about what im doing and why i am doing it, and im tired of feeling like every decision i make has to involve thinking about people that aren't even part of the decision i am making.

me and my husband live by both of our families. I am so tired of my parents wanting to be invited and included in everything because they always have FOMO. Im tired of going on a trip with my husband, and then my mom subtly dropping a hint that she wants to go on a trip with me next... because i can never just go on a trip with out the expectation that she wants to go on the next one. Im tired of not going to a family BBQ at my husbands families house and them getting weirdly suspicious and saying things like "jeeze.. did you guys fall off the face of the earth???" as if having a life outside of them and their dumb weekly BBQs is unheard of.

Im just tired of feeling like i have to answer phone calls... see people when i dont feel like seeing people, and like i cant do things i want to do because someone else expects something else out of me. im tired of feeling like our stupid families are judging our every move because we have lives outisde of them... and we dont spend every waking minute thinking about them. im tired of daily phone calls with my mom about literally nothing... and basically just re-hashing our lives. my mom doesnt need to know what im doing every waking second.

There is nothing worse that pressure to be something for someone that they want you to be.

I feel guilty even typing this but I feel like I need to confess it somewhere. I am a single mom and several years ago when my son was young, he was crying and crying for a husky puppy. This went on for almost a year. I finally caved and bought him his dream puppy, Cooper. Cooper is a husky and the sweetest, most loyal dog in the world. I didn’t anticipate at the time that my partner and I would separate. I didn’t anticipate the crippling depression. I didn’t anticipate the price of EVERYTHING going up so much that I am always in the negative every month. I feel like I am working my ass off all day, everyday. Sun up to sun down. Cleaning, working, driving my son to school, being a nag, paying bills.
Huskies require so much exercise or else they are absolutely nuts. I find myself resenting having to go on the walks with him when I’m already exhausted. Or realizing he’s losing his undercoat and having to stress about how I’m going to pay the groomer bill. Or not being able to go see family because I can’t afford pet care. Or not being able to take him to doggie daycare (which is a godsend) because I just can’t afford it. I feel terrible. He follows me around the house, eager to do something, and I’m doing my best. I am just so damn exhausted. Lately, he’s gotten in the habit of having to go out in the middle of the night. I’m finding myself feeling so overwhelmed by him and so guilty at the same time, because it’s not his fault. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best move to get a dog, but it felt like a meaningful decision at the time. And I truly could not have asked for a sweeter companion. I just had to be honest about how much I’m resenting the work of having a dog lately. I feel like he deserves better than me but we’re so bonded. I just don’t know what to do.

I hate a lot of things. I am a very judgmental person I would say and I don't like being this way. I really started to notice how judgmental I am when I was dating this one girl and I really started hating so many things. I think she made me hate them, not because she hated them, but because the things she did made me hate.

I particularly dislike politically correct people, they aggravate me. I don't like liberals or republicans, they both speak nonsense and whine about everything they can. I hate people that whine all the time and can't just man up (figuratively) instead of taking the easy way out all the time. I can't stand pride parades or any protests really, I think they are silly and dumb. I hate people that flaunt/make it their personality that their gay or black or Muslim or redneck or whatever it might be. I hate people that get "offended" easily or rather act offended because there is some societal 'obligation' for them to be offended. I hate people with no common sense; "common sense isn't so common" lol.

I'm not catholic or really Christian or whatever but I think people need to start listening more to the seven deadly sins, especially pride, greed, and lust.

I sometimes wish I could be more accepting of people cause after all, we are all human, but this current state of society I just hate. I blame much of my hatred on this ex-girlfriend of mine, as I never felt this way with previous relationships before her.

I think I am a person that likes control. Is that narcissism? What is that?

I wanted to be as real as possible with this post so tell me: what can I do to be a more accepting person and not hate people and their decisions so much? if that's even possible...

  I walk among you and I'm dying. Yes people, that is me. Wandering the streets slowly. Witnessing the beauty of life in all of its glory, the small moments that make humans a human. Along with all the misery and anger that also makes us human. 

   I'm in my early 30s. Almost two years ago I was diagnosed with terminal incurable cancer. Doctor gave me 2-5 years left of my existence in this world. So... after two years of self misery and depression I decided to live and bear witness to everything around me. I was born and raised in a small town, 5000ish people. I had a good life, good parents, good friends. I've had two beautiful women that loved me and I've loved them. My highschool sweetheart, we were together all the way through college. And love each other with no reservations. Then she moved to continue  her education in a bigger city. At some point she decided to not move back and I decided not to follow. That was the end of that. Second love was with a college acquaintance, we had run into each other multiple times though our school time but that was it. Eventually we were properly introduced by a mutual friend and started dating soon after. This woman I saw as my future wife and I proposed. She accepted and we had planned to get married in 27. I broke the engagement soon after my diagnosis. She still doesn't know my condition. 

NOW... knowing what's coming my way I have chosen to live where I never thought I would. A big city near the ocean so I can walk the streets endlessly just looking at people interacting with each other or see them alone immersed in their own world. Sometimes I wake up too early, 3-4am and I walk to the beach. The quietness is calming. The sound of the tide receding is glorious. But I also can hear the city waking up, cars honking, people's voices that sound like murmurs. It reminds me of where I am at. 

Walking the streets has allowed me to see plenty of kindness, love, and happiness. Things I've never seen in the same way as now that my time is close. Recently I saw a homeless man panhandling. No one was willing to stop and listen to him. At some point one man handed him a bill. The homeless man goes into the store and comes out with like five or six food containers and starts giving them away to his fellow homeless friends. That was kindness and selflessness as I had never seen before. 

   At the park I saw a wedding going on. I felt jealous, but happy for them. Kids running around. Poeple mingling around celebrating a happy moment for a friend or a family member. 

   I have also witnessed the ugly in people. Fighting, arguing over a parking spot. Poeple driving calling each other names because they cut off in front of them. And I think how all of this is unnecessary and pointless. If you really think about it, you are only 3-4 seconds behind. It does not make a difference in the larger picture. Be kind. 

I also saw a man laying down on the sidewalk, no one bothered to stop and see if that person was ok. I called an ambulance and he got taken to the hospital. I hope he is better now. As a society we need to care and look for one another. Check on your neighbor, your family members. It doesn't take much.

   I will continue to live like this until I can't no more. I just hope that you appreciate your time in this world. Love as much as you can. And leave the negativeness out of your life as much as you can. THE BEST OF LIFE TO YOU ALL!

Life’s problems come one after another, leaving me in a constant state of discouragement. There are times when I have absolutely no idea what to do. What words have helped you navigate the various ups and downs of life?

Inside my 4 walls at home, things are pretty good but we do have a blended family, so parenting plans are involved, but we also have our own issues. Small issues, but our own.

There are so many things going on with our circle, friends and family, and I’m just at a loss for words.

- a family member is finalizing a divorce and is already in a verbally abusive relationship and just adopted 4 pets together

- another family member just got married for a third time and also adopted a third dog. Their house is a shit box now

- a friend of ours just entered rehab for a week because his wife stopped taking the pill before he got snipped and now they have a baby he didn’t want (I’d probably do drugs if I were entrapped)

- a friend of ours is being swept off her feet by a man she knew 25 years ago. He’s been divorced twice. Asking her to move across the country. She’s actually going through with it

- we had several family members pass within the last 5 years due to old age or cancer

- a close family member just agreed to have friends live on their property with a trailer and adopt 3 kids to live in said trailer

- our church is constantly asking us to help financially or volunteer, because we are easily followed and influence others

There’s more with others but you get the gist.

I know life isn’t equal. I’m grateful for the life my wife and I have built.

I know everyone has stuff they’re going through.

I feel like my wife and I are leaned on by so many people. People ask us for help, advice, etc.. but with so many problems going on, we can’t even focus on ourselves. If we do, we feel like it’s selfish or people think we don’t care.

How do you handle this all emotionally and in general? Many people have worse they’re dealing with and I can’t imagine but I just feel like I want everyone to go away so I can just be a good husband, good father and a good employee.

Apparently part of my digestive issue is stress related. I have so many projects and ideas. I started working again and every time I catch myself engaging my teeth, throat, body posture in a way that triggers issues, I think: no... You must release.

I am not forced to work, I just really like what I do and get fully engaged. I don't understand why my body doesn't like it. So I was thinking I better learn how to relax fast so I can go back to fun stuff.

How do you keep the mind engaged and the body relaxed?

Am I not supposed to get absorbed in what I do. I thought that's what they called flow and that it was a good thing.

Epictetus has this short passage where he tells his students to remember they're like an actor in a play, except someone else decides the role, how long it runs, and what kind of part it is. If the playwright wants a short play, you play it short. If he wants you cast as a poor person, a cripple, a magistrate, a nobody, your job isn't to argue for a different part, it's to play whichever one you got as well as it can be played. He's pretty clear that picking the role was never on the table to begin with, the only real job is the performance itself. What I keep coming back to with this one is how much of what people struggle with in life falls into the category of role they didn't choose, the family, the body, the timing, how long any of it lasts, and how much energy goes into resenting the casting instead of just playing the part in front of you well. It's not that the role doesn't matter, some roles are genuinely harder than others. It's that the one thing actually inside your control was never which part you got, it was always just how you played it. What's a part of your situation you spent a long time fighting the casting on, before you finally just started playing it?

I know its a dumb question but i think i dont know how to be happy anymore the last few years😅
My days are all the same and i dont felt happiness for a long time, i wake up every day and the first thing that comes to my mind "is this all worth it?" then i go to work and hope that the time goes by fast so i can go home and when im home i do absolutely nothing because i dont have the energy or the mood to do something😅

Genuine question.

All opinions appreciated.

I find myself struggling to understand what is considered normal, and abnormal, expectations.

I have been working on it. For years. But I don’t know what I don’t know. It certainly isn’t something I’ve internalized.

So when I hear somebody tell me “normal people don’t do that”, when I think it’s actually a perfectly normal thing to do, I always question myself. Even when I truly don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.

I believe that questioning my sense of normalcy is a good thing. It’s brought me a lot of help and healing over the years. It’s important to me to always strive to better myself. Know better, do better, and all that.

But, sometimes, I think the people around me use that belief of mine against me. Maybe unintentionally at first. But it works. Because I will always question myself if somebody gives me a reason to do so. Just in case I am in fact in the wrong.

I have heard people tell me that my sense of normal is very wrong and I should question everything I think to be normal… but that doesn’t really help me at the end of the day. I have questioned my entire life numerous times… but if I still don’t know what truly is and isn’t normal… how do I know for sure which of my internalized beliefs still remaining from my childhood are problematic?

I have recently been hearing people say “thats the bare minimum” and “your expectations are too low”… so, my question to the internet today is, what do You consider to be the bare minimum? For whatever type of relationship. Family. Friends. Significant others. Doesn’t matter. What is normally and typically considered to be a requirement of a healthy relationship? Not a great one. Just the bare minimum requirements of not being unhealthy?

I might go into some of the messy and messed up details of the life that led me to my own admittedly flawed sense of normalcy and internalized beliefs about myself and others… but my priority at present is understanding this elusive concept of what exactly the bare minimum even means.

Please help me.

I know most people here will scoff at this post, kinda like most people irl kind of blow me off when I talk about this but these feelings are real and I want to let them out somewhere.

Im 21M, Canadian and currently living in Singapore for an exchange semester that has been fun, but more expensive than I had ever imagined. I came here with great savings and am now seemingly either going to have pretty much no money leftover after or will actively have to ask my parents to help me.

Ive worked for pretty much as long as I was legally allowed too. I had been employeed since I was 18 up until I did this exchange (it is not legal on a student visa to be employed in Singapore). I keep seeing the number go down but never up.

I graduate in 6 months and have nothing lined up for work when I graduate. I got pretty far in one role's interviewing just to be rejected at the last round, I was devastated. I feel like im not getting anywhere and im just actively blowing all my savings here and maybe even going back to financially depending on my parents.

I feel like such a loser. I know im young or whatever but being in this position is really bothering me, could use encouragement/advice

Woke up to see a friend (from same batch in college) pursuing Phd from an eminent college. Also, randomly came across a Junior (from college) pursuing Phd as well as travelling around the world attending conferences and workshops. It broke something in me. I know I have had different start in life and a different environment than these people and that's the reason how things are and I am proud of myself wrt wherever I stand in life, but still the fact that these people went to the sameplaces as me and yet had different outcomes is just heartbreaking.

if i would leave the past the past and would think about the future, i just don't know what i should do. the times with ai confuses me as-well, i can learn anything i want with ai and the stupid thing is i have nothing i want to learn, no questions no curiosity. But somehow i am not content with my life i miss something but i don't know what. So just wondering what ambitions you guys still have what drives you?

Not sure who to be annoyed with my dad who did something thoughtless, my bro for just being a .. or my other one for not saying .. and then why is it always the case where you are actually innocent is the time you’ll get the blame.

I’m not sure if it’s just me but ever since I graduated high school and now work I’ve realized that I just really care about anything as much as I did in high school.This post is mainly about others peoples actions like I’ve also realized i see people judge people of the smallest things.

I’ve seen lots of it in my family and friends but I’ve realized I don’t really care about others’ actions even stuff in the news too? Does that make me a bad person? Because even if it’s something that people have done that could be awful I’ll be a little surprised but not as much knowing that someone else could do the same thing or has done something worse.

Seeing others people’s opinion that if someone tells me it doesn’t really bother me because at the end of the day that’s their opinion or action that they do and I can’t do anything about it. Do any of y’all feel this way if you get what I mean?

I'm 22F and I will be going to another country to pursue a masters degree! So my parents are forcing me to come back to india after completing the degree because they want to marry me before 25 or 26, that too a arranged marriage (no intercaste strictly)! I have siblings and I'm the older one so there is a lot of pressure on me because I'm the only one academically good and can make them proud and I'm the one who has always agreed with my parents and if I wanted something so bad I used to manipulate or lie. But mostly I had compromised!

The twist is that I am dating a guy and it's been 4yrs! We love each other and we are really comfortable but since it's just the start of our career and we both are still unemployed! So I decided that after a few years I will tell my parents that I can't conceive and maybe by doing some drama I will convince them that no one will marry me and an arranged marriage is impossible! But my bf says that I should not lie and talk to them directly but Ik they will not agree Ik them really well because we had this discussion and I have predicted what will be their action! They are MY parents Ik there soul dude Ik them very well. But my bf said no he won't marry if I want it to be this way! But I'm the cat in the box Ik where the poison is just listen to me 😭 Its been 4 yrs I cant even think of other men Im madly in love its just him or I will never marry! I will just quietly vanish from everyones life!

Maybe I have missed a lot of context but my brain is so restless at this point I can't think! I'm just crying and there is no one who wants to understand the situation!

if have any factual information wrong just lmk cause this really just post venting about how i feel and what i'm thinking

2026 wasn't the year i thought it was going to be. it been like one of them really good but bad years i've had loads of good moments but yet i just don't feel right.

I feel grateful for everything have at home but i just feel so washed out everyday now. I feel like I'm starting to struggle when speaking (always pronouncing words wrong and feeling like im thinking just behind of what I'm saying) like speaking doesn't feel natural anymore and i can't control how i sound.

I think i went a bit off track but i feel like i just became such a boring person and i struggle to even be funny anymore i just feel confused all the time. i feel like i need someone help me and cheer me up so i can work on myself but that won't happen because who wants the boring me

I also just feel lazy but it's hard to stay motivated when it feels like a stable future is so far away with the house prices and bills being so much when jobs don't pay much more then they used to.

I feel like people will do stuff as well which makes me feel small and realise how weak i am. strength is one of my biggest insecurities as it feels like everyone is so much stronger than me if they might not be which makes me avoid conflict and can't stand up for myself at all making me an easy target to take advantage of

i feel like my brain is so out of it i'm never actually able to listen to anyone and struggle to understand what anyone is saying so i just try and guess what to say back or i'll just say "yeah"

then when people see me like this i feel like they probs get the wrong impression and think im strange but i'm, idk anymore, not strange, i don't know cause i'm lost, remember

theres more to it but thats all for now

soz if it feels messy to read idk how even express how i feeling anymore but thats the best any help advice to any issues i'm having here would be appreciated

thank you

When I was a kid, I was curious about almost everything. I think most children are.

I remember spending my summer vacations at my grandfather’s house. I loved that place, especially the village. Everything felt quieter there. There was so much to observe, so many little things happening around you that you would never notice in a city.

At night, I loved watching the fireflies. During the day, I would look at different insects, birds, their nests, trees, plants, and all the small things happening around me. It felt like there was an endless world to explore.

But for some reason, I was especially fascinated by ants.

I would sit there and watch them for a long time. I wanted to know where they were going, what they were carrying, what they were eating and how they seemed to communicate without speaking.

There was this orange-colored ant that we used to call "amoroli poruwa." I don't know what its actual name was. I remember watching them walk in lines, one after another. Some carried food. Some carried what looked like eggs. Sometimes they carried the bodies of dead ants.

I also noticed something strange. Whenever I picked up an ant and placed it somewhere on a leaf, the leaf would sometimes become yellowish or brownish the next day. I had no idea why. I didn't think much about it and eventually forgot about it.

After some days, while I was roaming around, I found another ant territory.

I wanted to know if it was the same territory or a different one.

So I took an ant from that territory and placed it in the other territory, where all the ants were collecting food and walking in a line.

Then I saw something interesting.

They started fighting.

They attacked that ant as if it was an enemy.

At that time, I didn't understand why.

They were all ants. They looked the same to me. They had the same antennae, the same legs, the same body, the same basic biology. So why were they fighting each other?

And honestly, I loved watching them fight.

So I took another ant and placed it there.

Then another.

And I kept watching how they fought.

I know it sounds a little psychopathic now, but I was just a kid. I didn't understand what I was doing. I just found it interesting to watch something unexpected happen.

But now I'm not a kid anymore.

Looking back, it sounds a little psychopathic. But I wasn't trying to hurt them. I was just a child who had discovered something I couldn't explain, and I wanted to understand it.

I didn't know it then, but that little observation stayed somewhere in my mind.

Now that I'm older, I think there was something much deeper happening there.

Maybe humans aren't as different from ants as we like to believe.

Ants live as colonies. They have their own territories, their own systems of cooperation, their own ways of recognizing who belongs and who doesn't. An ant from another colony can be almost identical biologically, yet it can still be treated as an enemy.

Humans do something remarkably similar.

We are all the same species. Underneath our languages, religions, cultures, nationalities, political systems and identities, our biology is remarkably similar.

And yet we divide ourselves into groups.

Countries have borders. Religions have communities. Nations have identities. Companies have organizations. Societies have laws and institutions.

We create an invisible boundary between "us" and "them."

The interesting difference is that humans have something ants don't have to the same degree: a much more powerful ability to create and believe in abstract realities.

We don't just respond to physical territory. We create concepts like money, nations, laws, property, religion, citizenship, corporations and social status. These things aren't physical objects in the same way a tree or a rock is, but millions of people collectively believe in them, and because we believe in them, they become powerful enough to shape our physical world.

Perhaps that's one of the consequences of our cognitive revolution.

An ant colony can coordinate without a central government because much of its behavior is driven by instinct, chemical signals and collective behavior.

Humans are different.

We can question the rules.

We can break them.

We can find loopholes.

We can invent new rules.

And because humans can choose not to follow the rules, we need police, courts, governments and entire systems of enforcement to keep society functioning.

An ant doesn't need a courtroom to convince another ant that it belongs to the same colony.

Humans do.

And then there is territory.

Why do humans fight over territory?

Sometimes it is land. Sometimes resources. Sometimes power. Sometimes history. Sometimes ideology. Sometimes religion. Sometimes simply the idea that a particular piece of land belongs to "us" rather than "them."

The reasons are much more complicated than those of ants, but perhaps the underlying pattern isn't entirely different.

We form groups.

We recognize our own.

We distrust outsiders.

We protect what we consider ours.

And sometimes, we fight.

The strange part is that I discovered this idea as a child without understanding any of it.

Now I realize I was watching a tiny version of human civilization.