r/CuratedTumblr • u/GinaWhite_tt TeaTimetumblr • 8h ago
Shitposting Trapped in the Prison of the Plot
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u/ZvezdochkaThistle 8h ago
I miss her so badly it hurts.
I’ve been stuck at the northern end of this impossibly long table for hours, waiting for the camera to finally cut across to her at the southern end of another table just as long, revealing that she’s thinking about me too. Instead, all I get is a time-lapse of the candle on the counter steadily shrinking while my theme music drifts into a minor key.
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u/LISTLESShare770 8h ago
Try moving to a smaller table, but for the love of god don't sit opposite an empty chair. You do NOT need that shot.
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7h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ALERTandORIENTEDx5 7h ago
That’s it! I’m tired of living with all this symbolism!
I’m moving out, and it’s narratively unrelated that my new place will be half the size and contain fewer belongings.
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u/Apprehensive-Till861 8h ago
I know how they feel, I had just used my nemesis' tactics to defeat him and taken control of his tools and forces when my leitmotif started playing and his was interwoven into it?
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u/legit-posts_1 5h ago
I know right. I just beat up a hated enemy of mine, but the camera work and editing synced up perfectly with the way I was beaten 2 seasons ago, signifying that I am slowly becoming the very thing I've sworn to destroy. Also I keep getting choppier looking year over year but that's not an artistic choice.
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u/pretty-as-a-pic the president’s shoelaces 8h ago edited 7h ago
Oh stop bring up how I repaired/replaced one of the pieces of my armor/equipment with my rival’s, thus symbolically making them a part of myself, it clearly meant nothing!
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u/TheDwiin Insufferable Wyrm 50m ago
Or how I melt down the metal of the trophy I was given as I'm more concerned with the physical wealth than the honor of winning, fitting because I'm not really a knight either.
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u/SilkBramble 8h ago
This kind of brings up the vibe of Hey man, you doing alright? Your signature theme is currently stuck in a minor key.
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u/Waffleworshipper Qualityslop Enjoyer 6h ago
Bro your leitmotif is being played at half tempo on cello, are you doing okay?
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u/Bunnytob 6h ago
Dude my signature theme is in a minor key normally, this is just a regular variation on it.
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u/Otherwise_Face_858 8h ago
You guys complaining at the peak of your power. I'm here, in the darkness, surrounded by enemies, with no chance of survival. My friend went to get help, but he's just way too late now. It's nice that the music's changing, and the sun is rising behind my foes, but truly this is going to be a hopeless time and I'm going to be completely defeated.
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u/veidogaems To shreds you say? 5h ago edited 5h ago
Sucks to be you.
Meanwhile I'm at the absolute peak of my adventuring career. I just found a room with a save point that is absolutely STUFFED with healing items and other restoratives. Plus there's only one room left in this dungeon and it's occupied by a solitary old man. He doesn't even have ominous latin chanting playing behind him, just some somber piano music. This fight is gonna be easy.19
u/No-Supermarket-6065 Gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin 6h ago
Please, you've got it easy. My love interest was trapped in a bus as it exploded with absolutely no way out right as the music started getting extra sad, and they're gone forever now, which my friends have made a point of stating out loud multiple times. The camera's lingering on the ashes for some reason likely involving them suffering such horrific injuries that no remains survived. I don't know how on earth I'm supposed to bear on now.
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u/lurebat 7h ago
Wow I love having memories of my wife under the white bedsheet in the sunlight smiling and laughing up close. Can't wait to go back to current day where everything will be the same
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u/Anxious-Captain6848 7h ago
Same I love reminiscing on the day she held my hand and we ran across the beach in the sunset while she was in a flowing white dress. She told me she loved me and she couldn't wait to bring our kids here. Anyway I picked up her favorite flowers for our anniversary and I cant wait to go home to my wife who is certainly alive and happy.
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u/triforce777 McDonald's based Sith alchemy 5h ago
I really want a show or movie to do this to try and imply the hero has a tragic backstory to explain his bad attitude and distrust of others only to reveal the wife is alive and well, our protagonist just hates his job and misses his wife
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u/the_scarlett_ning 4h ago
And maybe the wife is just stressed the hell out, exhausted from work and kids and they find they’re just growing apart? Or does that go too much into romance movie vibe?
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u/veidogaems To shreds you say? 6h ago
My Dead Wife Flashback montage is going on for a suspiciously long time and I'm beginning to think this might just be a clip show episode.
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u/jman12234 8h ago
Ugh, can you not just soul search beside a placid lake without being drawn to watch your still reflection, only for a disturbance some ways away to ripple the water and distort it, thus revealing that not only is the identity I was searching for fleeting and entirely dominated by outside, unseen forces, but also that what I thought was me was only an illusion in the first place. I just wanted to go for a fucking walk.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin 6h ago
Man I sure love my wise old mentor being around forever to give me as much training as I ever need to learn. It'll be so nice to leave his grounds when I'm ready to face the villains and not a second later. Don't know what he keeps talking about with there being "some day I shall have to stand on my own" or whatevs. Oh hey, that guy in black armor walking toward us looks super weak. I bet the old man can whoop his ass.
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u/PrettyPinkPonyPrince 5h ago
Huh. My mentor actually defeated the armored guy really easily.
I guess that just shows how effective his training will be when I leave to find the ancient artifact he asked for.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin 4h ago
sorry I don't get this one, what's the bit?
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u/nanaacer 5h ago
So things may have not gone well with my mentor but I still have my love interest. I met her under mysterious circumstances and she's currently speaking loudly to her friend behind the door. I love listening to her talk so I'm doing a little friendly eavesdropping, surely she won't reveal to her friend that dating me has been a ruse all along, I simply couldn't stand it and would run away before she could clarify to her friend that she actually truly loves me now.
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u/Obscu 7h ago
You think that's bad; this entire time I've been gloating that my leitmotif has been softly playing during my former-closest-friend-turned-nemesis' darkest moments and worst failures, symbolising how my influence haunts them in the narrative to bring them low and reflect my ever-present threat, while playing prominently in a major key during my emergence into the narrative as a source of tension and challenge, except then I noticed that it had been softly playing during my failures and tribulations in the exact same way.
I of course paid it no heed as I brought my plans to fruition to take everything they hold dear from them, but I really couldn't help noticing that as I finally destroyed them and took their place instead of my theme triumphant my leitmotif played interwoven with theirs until theirs swallowed mine and swelled to prominence as the shot composition perfectly paralleled their first appearance in this. As if that wasn't bad enough, my closest confidant came to congratulate me and my own leitmotif played as he extended his hand, and I realised that it was never even mine just as my old nemesis' was never theirs, but those of this cyclical, brutal, and ultimately pointless cycle of self-deafeating ideology in which we have been enmeshed like interchangeable placeholders. As I looked into his eyes I saw that he didn't understand this yet, that one day he would sit this framed in an identical shot as the narrative itself pushed him neatly from ascendant to incumbent and introduced the one who in turn would be his downfall as he is mine and I was my own nemesis'. Now I understand that sad look I got right at the beginning and what I wouldn't give not to. Do you know how disheartening it is to realise that neither you nor your counterpart even had your own themes, but that the themes had you and were now done with you?
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin 6h ago
Do you know how disheartening it is to realise that neither you nor your counterpart even had your own themes, but that the themes had you and were now done with you?
Honestly kinda existential. "Living music that plays you" might be an interesting cosmic horror plot...
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u/Successful_Ebb_7402 7h ago
Man, I've been fighting this evil tyrant now for the last fifteen minutes, and he just...won't...stop with the whole, "Give into your anger!" rant. Like, my guy, we've spent this entire fight in the shadows because you won't spring for replacement lightbulbs, and I'm not drowning in despair, I'm just wearing all black because its laundry day and I didn't want to show up to our big moment with visible stains. Striking you down isn't out of revenge, I'm just hangry and looking forward to a sandwich after this!
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u/slide_potentiometer 4h ago
He sounds like the sort of foe who would call your sandwich a hero like it's some kind of symbolism. Meanwhile you grabbed whatever bread was left at the bakery and slapped together that sandwich without any heroic intent.
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u/PraetorKiev Give me that Neanderthussy 8h ago
Who the hell keeps bringing an entire string quartet to play ominous music in the middle of nowhere?
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 8h ago
this too is apgte
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u/Friendstastegood 8h ago
apgte?
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u/Greaterthancotton wigglytuff 8h ago
A Practical Guide to Evil. Webcomic with similar self aware tropes.
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 8h ago
not a web comic, web serial novel later rewritten and published as a novel series and adapted into a web comic
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u/clauclauclaudia 8h ago
Not originally a webcomic. Novels written online, on wordpress, though a couple are now on kindle and audible. The web comic is an adaptation of the web fic.
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 7h ago
web comic is an adaptation of the rewrite, but only book 1 (e.g. peren woods)
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u/I-AM-A-ROBOT- thanks, i stole them from the president 8h ago
i really need to read a practical guide to evil to learn how its meta right now im 5 words in so i really gotta up my game
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 8h ago
where are you reading it?
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u/I-AM-A-ROBOT- thanks, i stole them from the president 8h ago
i search practical guide to evil and i see practical guide to evil chapter 1: supply
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 7h ago
ah, so ch 1 of book 2.
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u/I-AM-A-ROBOT- thanks, i stole them from the president 7h ago
:(
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 7h ago
Explanation:
Guide was originally written as a Web Serial Novel from March 25, 2015 to February 26th, 2022, on Wordpress.
In August 2025, the original wordpress version of volume 1 was taken down because a finalized version was published on Amazon, divided into two books.
So Volumes 2-7/Books 3-15 are available on wordpress and royalroad, while Volume 1/Books 1-2 are available on Amazon.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin 7h ago
God I need to read that
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 6h ago
you should, though it is a best confusing to read rn with the different versions
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin 6h ago
Oh?
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u/doctor_whom_3 lostthegame.tumblr.com 6h ago
it was originally published as web novel on wordpress, divided into 7 volumes. it was later uploaded to royalroad, but divided into 15 books. its currently being rewritten and published on amazon, divided into roughly the same 15 books as royalroad. Books 1 and 2 are published, but volume 2-7 and books 3-15 of the first draft are available online.
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u/Dryad_Bloom 8h ago
I had the hero kneeling before me, but I noticed that he was being shot from below while I was shot from above, showing that he actually had the power in this situation!
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u/Amadeone 6h ago
Ugh, this totally reminded me of that one time I finally defeated my foe, but they dealt me a mortal wound and as I laid in the snow, bleeding out, a projection of my late wife laid next to me and I understood that it was time for us to be reunited once more and leave together.
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u/LordHengar 7h ago
After significant effort I managed to break into the enemy's base and destroy their prototype war machine. But as I was leaving the hanger the camera lingered on the wreck of the machine and now I just know that it's still partially operational and is going to start coming after me as I steal a vehicle to flee the scene.
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u/the_scarlett_ning 4h ago
Did you slap your forehead and say “Whoops! Forgot my hat!” Then go back to finish the job on the machine? Cuz that’s a common mistake. Always leave a hat behind so you go back to make sure the great evil is truly dead.
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u/XVUltima 6h ago
Guys, im worried. I was giving an inspiring speech to my evil henchmen and one of them was partially inside the light from the windows and the darkness. I'm worried he might be undecided between good and evil because of it. Will he be tempted to betray me when his morals are tested?
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u/chunkylubber54 7h ago
im just remembering how Pact opened the second page with the MC looking in the mirror and seeing his rule 63 staring back at him and me thinking "ah, thats where this is going"
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u/SacredGay 5h ago
Im really excited for today. The sun is shining, and the radio jockey is excitedly announcing the weather and im about to enter a new period in my life. The overture is playing the themes for the upcoming plot moments and --- hey wait a minute why was that part all spooky sounding?
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u/PulimV Can I interest you in some OC lore in these trying times? 7h ago
Guys please I can't take it anymore, my best friend and a symbol of unbeatable hope is sick and dying, and while I'm away from him I meet someone who looks just like him, and is ALSO a symbol of hope, but he got killed by the main villain while I was unable to help...
At least my friend is recovering, as a symbol of how hope truly is unbeatable
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u/Eragon_the_Huntsman 3h ago
You know, I thought it was all over for me as I would be trapped in dispair by my own past failures, but as I looked out at the sunset thinking on what could have been, my leitmotif resolved to a major chord and well, I think there might be hope for me yet.
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u/slasher1337 8h ago
I don't get that last one. Just kill the vizier
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u/Warprince01 8h ago
Notice how they couldn’t light the cigar on their own? Its a metaphor for how they now rely on the Vizier’s power.
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u/RemoteAd7823 thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind 8h ago
Executing a key administrator immediately after a coup is how you get instability in your realm.
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u/jman12234 8h ago
The vizier is also not the point. The vizier is only an outgrowth of the system of betrayal and death the new king has found himself in. Killing him does nothing to fix thr problem.
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u/slasher1337 8h ago
Is vizier a key administrator? Cause iirc vizier is like a political advisor or a secretary. So it will make my job harder but thats it. As long as im smart with it. Executing someone for no reason would bring bad publicity. Faking a suicide might be best
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u/RikuAotsuki 6h ago
IIRC the vizier was basically the ruler's representative at times too, not just an advisor/secretary. "Evil vizier" wouldn't be a trope if it wasn't a role with enough importance/power to be a problem
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u/Pteraxii .tumblr.com 8h ago
That's every coup ever, though? They ALWAYS turn on the people who put them into power.
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u/Zepangolynn 7h ago
This will only mark the narrative point of increasing paranoia and assassinations leading into your own dissolving sanity and eventual loss of power.
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u/really_stupidfrog 6h ago
Everyone knows that the key to stopping cycles of violence is by just killing another guy. Obviously once you kill one more guy it'll all be good to go. Well, after you kill just one more.
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u/odrain16 6h ago
Ah I see. Systematically killing/sending away 1 by 1 everyone that once helped you archive you current position, and with them goes bit by bit of your sanity, one spillage at a time; leaving behind a yawing abyss where Paranoia can make a beautiful nest. All while you get increasingly more open panning shots of your throne room to represent you growing solitude
A classic form of the Villainous third arc breakdown.
Good taste sir, good taste
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u/D00T_BOI 8h ago
Ugh, I know that feeling. Just recently I was hired to kill my narrative foil, stranding me in a world consumed by the endless march of progress
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u/Joshua-Norton-I 8h ago
Ugh, don't get me started on that one time when my past caught up to me and confronted me in the most unfortunate moment only for show to he canceled after that
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u/YUNoJump 2h ago
Number 2 happened in Jojo except it wasn’t a metaphor, a character shot someone but somehow didn’t realise he’d only shot a reflection of that person
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u/Conscious-Candle- 8h ago
Blaming the narrative structure for your own bad choices is top-tier protagonist behavior.
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u/averagebrainhaver88 45m ago
I had an exam, attended a lab, and went to work today. My brain is wet cereal right now. Genuinely what the fuck did I just read? Are these people actors? Can anyone explain please?
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u/Timeline40 35m ago
They’re pretending to be characters in stories that are self-aware of the tropes happening around them. If a filmmaker wanted to include a message that “violence only leads to more violence”, they might show the antagonist feeling uncomfortable on a throne, then end the movie with the main character also feeling uncomfortable on that same throne they just won, suggesting that the main character is about to lose and didn’t really win anything.
The third post is from the perspective of that character, going “hey what the fuck, I thought I won, now it seems like something bad is gonna happen”. The joke is that normally this would be something only shown to the audience as, like, a metaphor, but if a character somehow saw it too they’d be annoyed
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u/pearlmiyua 8h ago
Guys, you’re really overdoing the whole narrative symbolism thing. I’m just trying to relax and enjoy a chill day at the beach, so could somebody please shut off that super intense theme music I’m hearing?